Privileged
by Nostalgicmiss
Summary: When Bella's life takes an unexpected turn she's forced to find her estranged father, but not everything is as straight forward as it seems. Blood isn't always thicker than water. AU AH.
1. Born On a Bayou

_**All things Twilight belong to the talented Stephenie Meyer. The story line is a combination from my twisted brain and a very loose, and not well remember series from VC Andrews. I think I read the series ten years ago, but there are little plot points that stem from it.**_

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**Born on a Bayou**

_I'm born but I'm alive,  
Live by the rules, not by the sky, sixteen  
What lies beneath your eyes,  
Is beautiful, you're delicate,  
When I'm far away I still remember, _

_**Switch by Blackbud**_

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**_The heat and humidity were stifling this close to the bayou, the damp air rolled off the water oppressively, making the air thick and heady. You would think after sixteen years of living here I would be used to it, but it never got easier. The swampy air seemed to leave a haze in the atmosphere, when the sun cracked through the trees and caught, you could see the hues of the afternoon in the streams of hedonic light.

The afternoon was my favorite time of day. I liked to sit on the closed-in porch at the back of the house, looking over the dark waters and the Spanish moss covered trees that seemed to litter the area. My mamére and I lived on Bayou Teche in Iberia Parish, Louisiana, it was our home, and I loved it with everything I was.

Our family had lived here happily for generations with the other settlers that lived in the community. Not many people ventured away from the safety of home, we were a tight-knit society and we stuck together. The only person I had ever known to leave for good was my mother.

My mamére liked to use excuses for everything she'd done. Even for what she'd done to me.

Renée, my mother, had gotten pregnant at the ripe old age of sixteen. She'd been on a school trip in New Orleans; they were going to tour one of the museums. Of course Renée being Renée, thought she was too good to walk around a museum when she was in the big city, and she and Sue, her best friend, decided to take a tour of their own. That was the day I was conceived.

Mamére said she didn't know the boy's name, that Renée had met him and he'd swept her off her feet with some hoo-doo. To me, it was most likely the other way around, but I never voiced my opinion to my mamére. Sue on the other hand was more than willing to listen.

I loved my mother, I had no choice but to when she's around. She's contagious, her smile could light up a room and her joy for life was insatiable. It was that very thing that left me alone and without a mother time after time.

Even my ex step father, Charlie, hadn't been enough to anchor her. After being with him for two years and giving me his last name, she took off, leaving him with a burden of a child that wasn't his in a town where he knew nobody. Not that Charlie minded. He was an amazing father figure, and even after he had to give up custody of me three years after Renée left, I still talked to him on a regular basis. I couldn't blame him for leaving; he'd gotten a job he couldn't refuse closer to his family. Renée had just happened to be home and refused to give him the right to take me with him. So I was left with mamére again when she decided she'd had enough fun playing mom.

I hadn't seen Renée since I was ten. The only indication she was still alive was the periodic postcard with some false declaration of love stamped in her untidy scrawl. It was always ended with an "I love you, I miss you" that I neither believed, nor paid attention to.

Mamére had always said that she wasn't a bad person, just confused, a free spirit. That she was too young at heart to be tied down and tethered to one place. She called me an old spirit, wise and aged. I took after her in that respect.

Maybe she was right, or maybe Renée was simply selfish. I doubted I would ever know.

What I did know was I couldn't be upset with her anymore. She'd done this my entire life, and it was part of who she was. I had no desire to be with her; I was happy here. I had a home, I had mamére and Sue, Leah, Jacob and Seth. Here was home, here was where my family was.

The only thing I had ever desired was to know who my real father was, and only because I wanted to know where I came from. I knew one half of myself; I was simply curious about the other.

I picked up the glass of tea I had sat beside me on the porch steps. The heat of the afternoon had the sides sweating as the ice slowly thinned within it's confines. The beads of water seemed to catch the green light that filtered through trees making unusual upside down shape.

I took a sip before running the cool wet glass across my forehead and already sweat-dampened hair. Today was one of those days I would much rather have been basking in the joy of technology. As far as I was concerned air-conditioning was the greatest invention since the wheel. It was just too hot to do anything out here but sit and melt, but it wasn't my choice at the moment.

Mamére was currently entertaining a client. She and her friend Ida dabbled in magic and would read fortunes and perform curses for people who wanted to pay for it. I wasn't sure if I believed in it at all, but it paid the bills and put food on the table. So I kept my mouth shut and made myself scarce when needed.

I blew out all of the air in my lungs, making my cheeks puff up with the effort. The gentle movement of the water threw shards of light in my direction and I stared at it longingly. It was promising to be cool and refreshing, singing it's own praises as it dazzled me with the reflection of the sun.

"Hey, Bella."

My eyes finally left the hypnotizing seductress that was the water and found the body the voice belonged to. Jacob Black was leaning lazily against the tall moss covered oak at the end of our house. His dark hair was getting long, and it hung in his eyes as his wide smile taunted me.

"Mamére have a guest?" he asked, tugging at the moss that hung by his head.

"How'd you guess?" I laughed, rolling my eyes and raising one eyebrow so he would realize I was making fun of him for stating the obvious.

Jacob grinned, his white teeth standing out against his golden brown skin. The boy loved to banter, I just couldn't figure out how he had enough energy to move in this heat. He pushed off the tree and walked slowly toward me, his long legs making the movements look effortless.

"No need for the sarcasm, Swan," he laughed, reaching the porch steps and falling down beside me.

"Sorry, it's just hot as hell out here. It's making me cranky."

Jacob laughed again and threw his arm around my shoulder, making me huff with exasperation. Had I not just said it was as hot as Hades?

"Ugh, Jake. Your body heat is really not helping with the being hot thing."

He laughed again, his usual guffaw as his body literally shook mine along with it. I planted my hands on his chest and pushed him away from me, getting even crankier at having to exert more energy.

"Anyone would think this is your first summer here. You do this every year, Bella."

"It just feels as if it gets worse though," I whined, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand. The beads of sweat were peppering the skin there, gently sliding towards my eyebrows. "That or the trees are thinning out."

"You have to sit under one to feel the benefits, whiny."

"You're a genius, Jake," I groaned picking up my tea and taking a long sip. The ice had completely melted now, leaving just the cool liquid. "Where's Leah anyway. Shouldn't you be off bothering her?"

Jacob and Leah had been dating since they were old enough to have a crush. They loved one another with so much passion and devotion that I often found myself a little jealous. Just not enough to accept Seth's request for a date. He was two years younger and had been flirting with me pretty much since the day he was born.

Both Jacob and Leah had been my best friends for as long as I could remember, and it was odd to see one without the other.

"I tried, Seth said she took her papaw to New Iberia, he wasn't feeling so hot," Jacob grinned, throwing a random leaf at me. "Oh and Seth asked me to give you a message."

"The answer is no."

Jacob laughed and pushed up from the porch steps. "You need to give the kid a chance."

"No I don't," I laughed, pushing myself up off the steps. Jacob normally stood at least a foot above me, but with me standing a couple of steps up, I was the same height as him. "If you like him so much, you date him."

"Not my style."

"You know, he's Leah's brother, and not even she gives me this much crap about my constant rejection."

"That's because she likes you more than she likes her brother."

My mouth fell open, and my eyes narrowed playfully. "And you don't?"

Jacob raised his eyebrows at me and he walked away slowly. He stopped about twenty feet away from me and grinned again. I rolled my eyes and walked slowly toward him, punching him in the arm when I was within reach.

"Ow, you know I didn't mean it, Bells."

"You're such an ass, Jacob."

"I know but you love me anyway."

"I wonder about that sometimes," I laughed.

Having some time to kill before Leah got home, Jacob and I took a walk down the bayou for a bit. The thick trees covered with Spanish moss hung over the water and offered much needed relief from the sun. We walked slowly, talking about our plans for the summer and what shows we were going to try and see in Baton Rogue or New Orleans.

The library in New Iberia had computers we were able to use for access to the Internet. Leah had a computer at the house, but being so far out, it was difficult to get access to the Internet most days. It was dial up anyway, and the wait time was longer than we liked. It also gave us an excuse to get out of town for a while so we normally took it.

We had only been gone for an hour, maybe two, stopping at a small clearing on the way back to watch some of the local kids play football. Being later in the afternoon, the sun hung lower in the sky; the beams of light shining through the trees was now a burnt orange, hazy with the humidity of the afternoon. The heat hadn't dissipated at all, but my blood ran cold as we closed in on the house.

Reds and blues rotated against the pale white of the siding, bouncing off the glass and reflecting in the mirror I knew was hung over the fireplace. It was making the afternoon look like a fair ground, the disillusion of fun when everything around me seemed to come crashing down into a skewed version of reality. I tried not to think the worst, but the lights bounced off the van next to them with a beat close to that of my heart. I saw the words, I saw the black on white. One word bigger than the others standing out and making my legs below me shake.

CORONER.

I could feel Jacob next to me, his arms around my waist as my legs gave out, but the sounds coming from his mouth were nowhere to be found. I could see Sue, Leah's mom and the closest thing I had to a mother,standing in the beams of red and blue, crying as Ida leaned on her for support. This couldn't be happening, not now.

I fought the prison of the arms holding me, writhing and twisting as I tried to confirm my worst fears. I was pulled back against Jacob's chest, my legs kicking uselessly in the air, as I screamed and demanded to be released. One of my feet connected with his shin painfully, making him drop me abruptly.

I felt nothing as I hit the ground with my knees, I heard nothing. I scrambled to my feet and pushed forward toward the house, needing to see with my own two eyes what I already knew in my broken heart. I tripped over something but scrambled to my feet again, aiming for the porch steps I had occupied not two hours ago.

Strong arms closed around me just as my feet hit the bottom step; bodies seemed to surround me, holding me in place as my throat burned from my screams to let me go. Warm hands cupped my face, moving my head so I could face their owner.

"bébé, she's gone. You can't see her like that. You have to remember her how she was," Sue said gently. Her voice was full of her emotion as the arms behind me relaxed their grip. I fell forward my body too heavy for the legs I could no longer feel. I was so numb; there was so much pain coursing through my veins. Sue caught me, her arms surrounding my body as we both moved to the ground.

She held me as I cried, my hands gripping at the shirt she was wearing as every ounce of pain seeped from me. I could hear people standing around us talking quietly, but I couldn't hear their words, just the droning sounds as they melted together around me.

"Mrs. Clearwater?" A voice too close said with perfect clarity. "I'm sorry about this, but we need to speak with you."

"Jacob, take Bella to my house and sit with her please."

"Yes, Ma'am."

I felt arms at my back and behind my knees, hoisting me into the air and holding me to his body. My arms closed around his neck as my face buried itself into his shoulder, the tears still sliding down my cheeks. He moved slowly, whispering to me as he walked towards the house only two down from my own.

I didn't want to leave, but I couldn't stay. I couldn't watch them taking mamére's body from the house she'd lived in her entire life. The mental image was causing enough anguish to run through my body without physically seeing it. It was too much, it was all too much to take in.

Jacob climbed Sue's porch steps, kicking at the door to get Seth's attention. I could hear the stomping feet inside the house as they made their way to the door. I heard the gasp as he took in the scene in front of him.

"What happened?"

"Mamére," Jacob whispered over the top of me, his voice filled with pain. I wasn't the only one who loved her. I wasn't the only one suffering the loss, yet I was selfish enough to think of no one but myself. I was selfish enough to need the comfort of those around me.

"She's . . ."

"Yeah, your mom's with the Parish Sheriff and asked me to sit with Bella." Jacob moved deeper into the house and sat on the couch with me in his lap, his arms were like a prison around my body, holding me together as I came apart from the inside out.

Seth sat next to him, his hand taking mine and spreading warmth throughout my body. So familiar, so comforting. They were my family, each and every one of these people were my family and I had never needed them more in my life.

The painful sobs slowly subsided into nothingness. The ache of loss seemed to fill in the void of my heart, making it fester painfully in my chest. I could hear the growing crowd outside, the voices, all so sad as they passed by the Clearwater home. It was all so quiet and muted but clear at the same time. Even the crickets chirping seemed to echo louder and more insistent than they had ever been before.

I heard the car pulling up outside and the stomping of feet on the porch as Leah sprinted up and in through the front door. She fell to her knees in front of Jacob, her delicate hand cupping my cheek as she whispered apologies for my loss.

I turned to face her, my body aching from the frozen position I'd held too long. My hands became my own again and wrapped around her neck, holding her to me as I let myself cry again. She had been the comfort I was seeking, she was my best friend.

"I'm so sorry, Bells."

"What happened, Lee? Jacob and I only went for a walk. she was with a client; she was fine."

Leah sat back on her heels and took my hands in hers as she tried to word her answer. I was sure she'd stopped to talk to Sue. Seeing her mom outside of my house with the scene unfolding was enough to make anyone stop.

"It was a heart attack. The lady who was with her tried to revive her but there was nothing she could do. Mamére was gone before the ambulance got there. They say she didn't suffer, just a little discomfort. Mom told me to come to you. How are you holding up?"

"Not well," I said, looking back at Jacob and Seth who were watching me with relieved eyes. I hadn't said a word since we'd been here.

"Well, come on. Let's go get you cleaned up."

Leah took my hand and pulled me to my feet, my shaky legs making her grip me around the waist. She walked me toward the bathroom and helped me wash my face before walking me into her room. She always seemed to know what I needed without me ever consciously telling her.

I lay down on the bed next to Leah and stared at the ceiling where she'd stuck thousands of glow-in-the-dark stars when she was thirteen. It lit up the room at night, but during the day like this it was just off colored spots on the white ceiling.

Hours and days seemed to pass slowly after that. The Clearwater's and Jake seemed to give me space when I craved company and company when I craved solace. I knew I had to do something though. I had to start living again. Sitting on the porch staring at my house was doing nothing to ease the pain of losing her.

As much as I tried, it was pointless; I couldn't seem to gain any sort of closure. In fact, it wasn't until the funeral that I was even able to process what had happened, and that was because the wake was held at our house. It was the first time I'd been there since she'd died.

The final push I needed, though, came from Seth.

I had sat in my spot on the porch, watching our house through the summer storm. The streams of water fell in long thick lines from the covered porch; the sound of the water seemed to make me feel at ease, even with the stifling air of the humidity.

Seth stepped outside and fell into the wicker bench next to me, his long arm along the back of the seat disappearing behind me as he trained his eyes on the spot that had held my attention for so long.

"So, Bella," he said quietly, his tone light and airy. It was almost foreign to me.

"Seth," I mumbled in greeting, pulling my knees closer to my chest.

"I've been thinking, Mom said you might be coming to live with us, and I'm worried."

My head snapped to the side so he was in my line of sight. My emotions seemed to flood my system again as the panic worked it's way through my body. Did he not want me here? Was I becoming to much of a burden? This was Seth, the boy who had tried to get me to go on a date for as long as I could remember. If he was worried about me living here, I could only imagine how Sue would feel.

"Worried?" I croaked, swallowing back the tears that were making my eyes sting.

"Yeah, would that make us brother and sister? Because honestly, it would be disturbing trying to get a date from my sister."

I felt something bubble inside of me. It started deep in my stomach and tickled up through my ribs. My whole body trembled as it traveled upwards. Then it erupted.

My laugh.

The front door swung open, revealing Sue and Leah looking a little confused and a lot relieved. Something that had been missing for so long was now coming as freely to me as breathing. My ribs ached and my eyes watered as I leaned into his body, resting my head on his shoulder.

"What the hell is going on out here?"

"Seth," I said simply as the laughter gave way to giggles. "He's worried that my staying here would mean he couldn't continue asking me out every chance he got."

"Seth!" Leah said exasperated, a small smile of pride on her lips. "Does your mind stay in the same place day after day? Is that all you think about?"

"I'm a teenage boy, Leah. What do you think?"

"I think I'm gonna beat your ass, comeback kid."

"Enough you two," Sue laughed gently. "Go set the table for dinner, Seth. Leah start serving, please."

"Yes ma'am," they both said in unison, me leaning away from Seth so he could do as he was asked. He gave me a wink before going inside, and it wasn't missed by Leah, who smacked him on the back of the head with a pointed look.

Sue came to sit next to me, taking Seth's spot on the wicker love seat.

"Bella, I'm glad you're feeling a little better, but I think we need to talk about something."

"Yes ma'am."

"I know it's been hard for you, and I don't want to add more pressure, but we have some things we need to take care of. The sheriff has given me temporary custody of you because of the extenuating circumstances, but we have some work to do to make it permanent. I called Charlie; he wanted to come straight down and be with you, but Nancy is about to have the baby, and she couldn't travel. He said that, even though you have his last name, he has no legal guardianship of you because your mom had signed that over to mamére. Mamére didn't know, bébé, she made no plans for you and now you only have two choices. You can go to a home, or we find your father."

The whole world seemed to stop as the last words came from her mouth. My father? The man they said had no name. How was I supposed to track down this person? He could be anyone, anywhere.

"Sue, no one knows anything about him."

I could see her soft features darken when I said it; I could see that something she disagreed with was finally coming to light. I had known Sue my entire life. I could read her looks well. Leah and I were far from perfect, and it was always Sue disciplining us. But this look, this was something new.

"What aren't you saying, Sue?"

"Mamére knew who he was, Bells. Renée had told him she was pregnant, and they had discussed what to do. I don't know who he is; I only know he's in New Orleans. I'm sure mamére kept papers."

My blood seemed to freeze in my veins as my heart stuttered in my chest. All this time, all these years, all I had been told was how they didn't know him, that they didn't even have a name. He was always unattainable. Now there was a chance I could get to meet him. He was suddenly tangible, and I had no idea how to even process this information.

"Look, I know it's a shock to you, Bella. If I know you like I think I do, you want to go there right now and tear the place apart. I promise, I won't stop you from doing that. When you mother hears she's inherited the house she . . . well who knows what she'll do, but I promise you will look soon. First things first, though, I need you to eat dinner."

I nodded. I could do this for her; I could act normal and sit down to dinner with my family before I went to find the last piece of myself.

It was strange being in the house without her. Sue, knowing me well, had let me walk over to mamére's house with Jacob and Leah after dinner. She knew there was no way to keep me away now that I knew there was something in here that would point me in the direction of my biological father.

Charlie was important to me and I loved him, but he wasn't part of me. There was nothing in our bond that would help me determine where I had come from. Now, more than ever, I needed to know this man because there was no way I would be leaving my family. Even if he wanted nothing to do with me, I imagined he would have no issues signing me over to Sue.

I was currently in mamére's bedroom, pulling boxes from the shelves and rifling through them, looking for any hint of who this man was or where she had hidden the information.

Leah and Jacob were in the living room looking through some of the older filing cabinets that held all the client information and taxes. I was running out of boxes to look through. I had pulled apart her nightstand and almost had an aneurysm when I found her handgun loaded in the top shelf. I didn't even know she had a gun.

"Bella." Leah's voice was shrill as it rang through the house, and I knew she was on the right track. "I think I found something."

I stood up from where I was digging through a box of photographs. Renée's face at various ages was staring back at me, making me even more nervous than I was before. It was as if she were pleading me to stay where I was and stop being so curious, but I couldn't. I couldn't shut this out now that I knew there really was something real.

I moved across the room with my feet feeling oddly weighted to the ground. My heart was pounding against my ribs, making my chest ache with it's effort. My feet were barely executing the moves necessary to get me any closer to my goal, but I persevered.

Leah was sitting on the floor in front of mamére's desk, Jacob sat behind her in the chair. She was hunched over a box file, but in her right hand was a large envelope, thick to the point of splitting at the sides. The visual was motivation for me to move quicker, and I forced myself to walk with the comminuting beat of my heart.

I could see the familiar looping pattern of mamére's handwriting in small neat rows on top of the yellow paper. I couldn't see what it said from where I was standing, but I knew it was important; I knew it was what was going to give me the answers I needed.

I fell to my knees slowly, my hands landing palm down on the cool hardwood floor of the house. I was nervous and excited, trembling violently within my own skin as the trepidation seemed to eat me alive.

Leah held out the papers with a weak smile. I knew that whatever lay in this envelope had the potential to change my life forever and it terrified me. My right hand moved from its place on the floor and reached out for the package, my fingers curling around the aged exterior.

My head buzzed with the emotions that seemed to circle around me in a constricting pattern. My breaths were coming in uneven spurts. I turned it around slowly and let my eyes glide over the letters written.

This was it, this was the answer to every question I'd ever had. This was the father I had never known; this is the father who had never sought me out, even to see if I was healthy and alive. My whole life was about to change drastically, and there was no way to pull out of the tail spin.

He was my father. Carlisle Cullen was my father, and to my surprise, I recognized the name.

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**A/N: Thank you for reading :)**

**I have been really nervous about this story and posting it, ask any of my pre-readers and they'll tell you I drove them mad with my neuroticism. There's really not too much to add to that. I don't wanna show my hand before I lay my cards down so I am keeping shtum.**

**Thank you to my beta and fact checker Annabanana. She's been absolutely wonderful in helping me out and correcting my grammar, punctuation and of course cajun. You rock Chick!!!**

**As always to miztrezboo, my twin and co-conspirator, her honesty makes me a better writer. Bendingmirrors, a huge thank you to you for listening to my freak outs and talking me down from the proverbial ledge. Hev99, a new pre-reader, but oh so helpful and insightful. Love you ladies.**

**Thanks to all of you who put me on author alert and told me how excited you were to read the new story. I am terrified about this one lol. So if you have any questions feel free to hit me. They will all be answered on the blog I made up for this story. There are tiny pieces of side information and I figured that was as good a place as any to store them lol. The address is privileged-fanfic(dot)blogspot(dot)com**

**Thanks again :)**

**Much love and huge hugz**

**~Weezy.**


	2. Hidden Secrets

_**All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, Some ideas from V.C. Andrews and the rest my strange imagination lol.**_

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**Hidden Secrets**

_All at once the ghosts come back  
Reeling in you now  
What if they came down crushing  
Remember when I used to play for  
All of the loneliness that nobody  
Notices now _  
_**#41 by Dave Matthews Band**_

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"Wasn't he in the news recently?" Leah asked softly, shuffling towards me on her knees so she was beside me. I was still sitting holding the envelope against my chest in disbelief. I knew how stifling the silence had been since she'd handed me the documents. At least twenty minutes had passed without a word spoken, and I could see that both of them were getting restless.

"He was the doctor that saved those kids from India. He was the only one that would accept the case." I had done extensive reading on it because I thought it had been amazing that someone was able to offer hope where there hadn't been any. Siamese twins, conjoined too close to their hearts to let them live much longer together. Without being separated they would die, yet no one would do the surgery in fear they would lose one of the girls. Carlisle had offered to do the surgery, but offered the parents no guarantee it would work. Thankfully he saved both the girls, and they were doing well.

Mamére had been questioning my curiosity about it, mumbling about the clippings I had sitting on my desk explaining procedures and a little background on Dr. Cullen. I could never quite understand why it aggravated her so much. Now it all made sense. He was my father, this amazing man was my father.

I was feeling a little stunned and disorientated though, especially having no idea what was inside this thing. Just because it had his name on the outside didn't necessarily mean I knew what the contents were. For all I knew, he could have been my childhood doctor, and this was just the envelope mamére had chosen to keep all of this in.

That was the problem though. I didn't know what lay under this parchment, and in order to find out, I had to move on with it.

"Are you going to open it, Bells?" Jacob asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. I could see he was getting bored with the silent contemplation. He had no patience for things like this.

"Shut up, Jake. You have no idea how hard this must be, and you're not helping," Leah said, rubbing my back gently as she glared at Jacob, still sitting in the chair.

"I'm sorry, but it's not going to get any easier," Jake mumbled, shifting uncomfortably. "Sitting there staring at it is only going to make it worse in the long run."

"Jacob," Leah warned again.

"Fine, I'll shut up," he conceded.

"Thank you."

I shifted from my knees, setting my ass on the floor and lowering the envelope from its place against my chest. Mamére's handwriting was still so familiar, and it reminded me of her in so many ways. I felt lost without her since she'd died. She was always the one I would go to for things like this; she always knew how to ease my anxiety. She would know what to do now.

"What are you thinking about?" Leah asked, brushing my hair over my shoulder so she could see my face. "I've known you my whole life; I know there's something going on in there."

"I miss mamére. She'd know what to do."

"But Bells, she's the one that hid all of this from you. I know you think she would know what to do in this situation, but you wouldn't be here, she would forbid it."

Leah had a point, but it didn't make me miss her any less. And it didn't diminish the comfort she could adhere either. Maybe there was a reason for her keeping this from me, perhaps there was something that would hurt worse than not knowing inside.

I was reaching and I knew it.

Even if I believed with everything I was that pain would be the only thing to gain from this, I couldn't not open this envelope. Even if my father wanted nothing to do with me, I still needed someone to sign me over into Sue's care so I could get on with my life. With that being said, it didn't stop that small nagging doubt in the back of my mind.

"But why? Why was she so adamant at keeping us apart?" I blurted, my fingers playing with the frayed edges of the package again.

"I don't know Bells, but I'm thinking there may be an answer in there," Leah said, nodding at my hands.

"But I . . ." I stopped, trying to find the words that would say exactly what I was feeling. "What if he doesn't want to see me?"

"You're his kid, Bells, I'm sure he can help somehow."

"What if he rejects me; sends me away anyway?"

"My mom already told you, Bella, If he's too much of an asshole to take responsibility for his own flesh and blood, tell him to send you back to your real family, the people who love you. Ask him to sign you over to mom."

I looked down at the folder and ran my fingers over the fading ink which spelled out his name. This was my only option. Renée hadn't been home in years, and I doubted she would turn up anytime soon. The last postcard we'd received from her was over a year ago, and that was from Connecticut. Renée hated the cold, so I could guarantee she wasn't there anymore.

The state had said I had to stay with family or have one of them sign guardianship of me over to someone else. This was my only option. Unless, of course, he'd signed over any parental rights of me to someone else.

Sue had offered to do this for me on more than one occasion this evening, but I knew I had to be the one to do this. I had to be the one to track him down and ask him. If he couldn't or wouldn't help, I would ask for her help to find Renée, but this, this was something I had to do on my own.

"I'm so scared," I mumbled. I hated voicing my fears, I hated sounding weak, but I knew the validity of my concerns. I knew there was a chance he would be just as likely to turn me away as Renée would be. He was probably married with a family of his own; he wouldn't want me hanging around and ruining his happy little life.

Maybe it _would_ be easier to find Renée and ask her to give Sue permission.

I looked down again and turned the package around, hiding the letters of his name from me. I slid my finger under the lip of the envelope. It would be so easy to just open this, just push my finger the rest of the way and break the small connection between the tape and paper. I just didn't know if I was ready.

"Are you gonna finger fuck that for the rest of the night?" Jacob asked, throwing himself back in the chair and throwing his hands behind his head in exasperation.

"Jacob Black you are an insensitive bastard, just fuck off if this is bothering you. You're supposed to be one of her best friends and you're being such a shit."

"Babe, I . . ."

"No, just fuck off home. I don't want to see you right now."

Jacob turned to me after that, his black hair falling in his eyes as he leaned forward again and tried to apologize.

"Bella, I didn't mean anything by it. I just want you to be happy; all of this is so fucked up and the answers could be right there," he said, pointing to the envelope.

I knew he was only trying to help, only trying to give me the small nudge I needed to do what I had to do and open this thing. Surprisingly, it was exactly what I needed to realize how stupid I was being. Whatever was in this envelope would answer my questions. It had the ability to tell me what I'd always wanted to know; I thought I knew my father's name now, but I needed more. In order to do that, I had to persevere.

"No, you're right, Jake," I sighed, stopping him from getting up. I drug in another deep breath and slid my finger under the tape, breaking the seal of the envelope.

It seemed so very unceremonious and anticlimactic; the build up to this moment had almost made me expect beams of light and fireworks to break out around me, but there was nothing but silence. The only movement in the room was Leah and Jake looking at one another before staring at the envelope again.

"I'm right here Bells, what can go wrong?" Leah offered, her hand making another soothing circle on my back.

"Rejection: it's the one thing that scares the crap out of me."

"Hey, no matter what happens, Bella, we'll all be here, and that'll never change," Jake said getting up and kneeling down on my other side.

I was lucky to have an extended family like this. They all loved me and they wanted me here. They wanted me in their lives and that was something I was so thankful for. It was something I couldn't ever express in words. I loved them all just as much, if not more, in return. Knowing I had them on my side could only make this easier.

With another deep breath, I turned the package in my hands upside down and dumped the contents on the floor in front of me. The organization of the things inside almost made me laugh, it was so very mamére to have it so systematic. There was a small pile of newspaper clippings, all with post-its stuck to them with the dates neatly written out. The next pile was so much bigger, thick, rich, off-white envelopes all bound together with a rubber band. There were also two manila folders, thick with papers and held together with clips.

"How the hell did she have this organized?" Jacob asked, his fingers brushing through the pile.

"I don't know. You know how mamére was, she marched to the beat of her own drummer most of the time," I laughed quietly. There was never any rhyme or reason in the things she did to anyone but herself. To her it made sense; to everyone else, it was nonsensical. My eyes scanned the pile in front of me, and for a brief second, I considered putting it all back in the envelope.

"Where do we start?" Leah asked, picking up the newspaper clippings.

I looked at the pile of things in front of me and tried to deduce what each pile represented. There were so many odd bits and pieces mixed in with the folders that I figured there must be something in there. I nodded to the clippings Leah was leafing through.

"I think those have been saved because of who he is. So that would be the last thing to look at. Maybe the files would be a good place to start?"

Jacob groaned from beside me and I turned to look at him.

"What?"

He picked up the stack of banded envelopes and held them out in front of him with a smile.

"Envelopes are sealed for one purpose."

"And why's that, Jackass?" Leah asked, leaning forward so she could see him around me.

"To be opened. It's like telling someone not to look down. The first thing they're going to do is look."

"Oh my God, I'm dating a couillon," Leah groaned, leaning over to pull the envelopes out of his hand. She put them back on the floor before shaking her head and sitting back down beside me. "The files are a great place to start, Bells."

I laughed at my two best friends before picking up one of the fat folders and pulling off the clip. I was full of trepidation as the contents shifted after their liberation. I was trying so hard to keep calm, but the unknown scared me just as much as the chance of rejection.

I opened it slowly, peeling back the manila flap, unsure of what I would find inside.

The first wad of papers looked like legal documents. I read through the first page slowly as my heart crept slowly into my throat. Words I didn't really understand seemed to make the whole thing Greek as I scanned the page. There was nothing I could really decipher beyond the names of the lawyers at the top. It was mostly talking about money and payments for services, all of it in fancy lawyer talk. Leah, obviously seeing my confusion, looked over my shoulder and scanned the page with me.

"Do you have any idea what any of that means?"

"Nope, not a clue," I answered honestly, picking up the large stack and flipping through it. "I don't even know where to start. Why do lawyers have to write in code?"

"I have no idea, but it's all beyond me. We'll come back to it later, whatever it is I'm sure we can figure it out eventually."

I nodded in agreement and pulled the stack out, setting it neatly on the floor beside me. When I looked back at the folder I froze. I was shocked to see what lay beneath the hefty stack of papers. I tried to swallow, but it was impossible with what was staring back at me.

It was a picture of my father, his radiant and charming smile beaming from the small rectangle as he held me in the hospital. His eyes were wide and full of happiness, but I could see just how shocked he was at the tiny thing laying in his arms. It would have been a sweet photo, but the older woman standing next to him looked severe and angry. Her lips were pinched with her distaste.

"Is that you?" Leah asked, pulling me from the memory I never had.

"I think so," I sighed, paying more attention to the baby now than the man holding it. "Jake can you lean over and grab mamére's photo album from the bottom of the bookcase?"

Jacob stretched his body out and pulled the familiar leather bound album toward him before handing it to me so I could flick through it. In the beginning pages, there were pictures of Renée holding me in the hospital, her face was worn and drawn and she looked exhausted, but at the same time it was the happiest I'd ever seen her. She was gazing down at the baby in her arms with a look of awe. She was beautiful; I couldn't deny that.

I looked down at the baby in her arms, and there was no doubt about it. It was the same room as the one my dad was in, and the baby was me.

"You had so much hair."

"Yeah, mamére said it was a Higginbotham thing."

"Sure it wasn't evolution?"

"Jacob Black," Leah shouted next to my ear, making my hand fly to my ear in a reflexive action. "What is wrong with you today?"

"What's wrong with today, today?"

I laughed and punched him in the arm. He was couillon, but he could ease the tension in any room.

"Hey!"

"You're an ass. I was a cute baby, thank you_ very_ much."

"Fine, you were cute. Whatever. Proceed."

I shook my head and looked down at the photo again, tracing the sides of my dad's face before memorizing his smile. What had happened between then and him never being mentioned again? What had happened to take him away from me?

I made my way through the rest of the file, but there was nothing that mentioned him much. My birth certificate and shot records were in there as were the hospital records, but still nothing much mentioning him. Certainly no document of him signing over paternal rights. His name was still on my birth certificate too. In all honesty, all I was looking for was his name, everything else went straight to the stack piled beside me. The rest of it could wait.

"Ok, so we know he was there when you were born," Leah said quietly. "How about we try the other folder?"

I nodded as I pulled it into my lap. Thankfully, it was far more lucrative than the first. There were letters upon letters from Carlisle to Renée and mamére. The first of them was dated six years after I was born, and it was, by far, the most confusing one. It read:

_Mrs. Higginbotham, _

_  
I am so sorry it has taken me six years to write to you. You must hate me, and I really can't say I blame you. I tried to call the number I had for Renée the last time we spoke, but it was disconnected. You must wonder why I'm writing you now after all this time when you've heard nothing from me in six long years._

_  
First, please let me start by saying, I was deceived by my own family. My mother died recently; she wasn't well for a while, and I think she knew her time was coming to an end when she called me because she finally told me the truth. She told me Isabella was still alive. I would like to believe that neither you nor Renée had anything to do with this. Yet, I'm certain my parents weren't able to do this alone._

_Six years of believing she had died in childbirth were probably some of the hardest years of my life. I constantly thought of her, constantly wondered how she would have grown up. You cannot imagine the pain I have endured while going through my training, every day wondering if she could have been saved._

_ I should be angry; I should be talking to my lawyers instead of writing you this letter, but I know that she's safe, and knowing she's alive brings me more joy than the pain my parents lie ever caused me. I am pleading that I may have a chance to see her, having the misconception of death, I know I did not sign anything stating otherwise. I know we had agreed prior to the birth that we would not confuse things further, but I just need to see her with my own eyes._

_ I promise you, Elizabeth will never find out about this. I made a promise to you before, and I intend to keep it._

_Thoughtfully yours,_

_Carlisle Cullen._

"He thought you were dead?" Leah asked over my shoulder, her hand reaching for the piece of paper, pulling it gently from my fingers.  
"And who's Elizabeth?" Jacob asked from the other side, leaning forward so both Leah and I were in his line of sight.

"Wife, maybe?" Leah commented, reading through the paper again. "By the sounds of it they had money, maybe he was engaged or something when Renée met him and she's rich and they had to hide his dirty little secret."

"Thanks, Lee," I laughed, pulling the paper from her hand. "I love being the dirty little secret in that scenario."

"You know what I mean. People with money sweep things under the rug all the time."

"And now I'm a dust bunny."

"Everyone's a comedian," Leah sighed, sticking out her tongue. "I just think that we should keep going before the speculation goes to imagination and your Dad ends up a senator or something."

I knew she was right. Sitting here trying to decipher one letter, when there had to be at least forty or more in the stack banded together at my feet, seemed like a redundant thing. There were answers in here, there had to be; I just had to keep looking.

I scanned over the letters which were under that one, all of them seeming to hold a little bit more information. Where he worked, his marriage to Elizabeth Moore, he even sent a letter when he moved just so they would have his address. I had no idea if any of these letters were answered by Renée or mamére, but there was always the same request to see me.

By the time we had finished with the stack in the folder, I was exhausted, but at the same time I was hopeful. There was no mention of children, or pregnancies. Just a marriage and his job, and the pleading. The endless pleading to see me. The last one was post marked at the end of March this year.

The answers it had brought me had also given me more questions. Why were they so reluctant to let me see him? Why didn't he just come anyway? Why did they refuse to talk about him in any capacity other than the one time I was told the story of how I was conceived?

"He seems nice enough," Leah said, flicking through the stack again.

"He does, but I don't understand why they would refuse to let him see me."

"No idea, maybe there's something more in here somewhere."

"What about the letters?" Jacob asked, pointing to them. "You realize they're addressed to you, right?"

I picked up the stack and recognized Carlsile's handwriting immediately from all of the ones addressed to Renée and mamére. All of them were made out to Isabella Higginbotham. I guess he'd never been told that Renée had given me Charlie's last name. I ran my finger under the rubber of the band and started to pull it over the expensive paper.

"Bella, wait," Leah said quietly; she put her hand on mine effectively halting my movements. I looked over at her, but her eyes were focused on the ground in front of us, amidst all of the papers and clippings.

"What? Why?"

She nodded to the spot she was looking at. There, amongst some odds and ends from the two files was a small embossed envelope with my name on it. It was mamére's handwriting, the very same that had been on the front of the envelope.

I hadn't expected that. I hadn't expected to see a letter from her sitting within the pile, and it hurt to see it now. She'd always known that I would find this when she was gone, and to even think of her planning for her death made my throat close over with a sob. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes, making the writing foggy and illegible, but it didn't stop me from leaning forward and picking it up.

"What do you think it is?" Jacob asked, his arm casually hanging over my shoulder as he tried his best to comfort me.

"I don't know," I answered, my voice sounded coagulated with the lump that had lodged itself there. "I just can't believe she put it in there, knowing I would go through this stuff when she was gone."

"Maybe that was her plan all along though," Leah said softly, tucking loose strands of hair behind my ear. "You know how she did things. There has to be a reason for keeping it from you for so long, and I'm betting the answer is right there in that letter."

My fingers ran along the familiar Fleur De Lis pattern on the stationary envelope. It brought back so many memories for me; she would have me take notes back and forth to Leah's papaw when she couldn't leave the house, notes to school when I didn't want to join in with Phys Ed because my debilitating clumsiness made it impossible to walk straight on two feet. How one envelope could bring so many memories flooding back was beyond me.

"She put it there for a reason, bébe," Leah whispered. "She wants you to read it."

"Then why am I so scared, Lee?"

"Because you know the truth's in there, and sometimes the truth can be scarier than any illusion you can think up."

"I hate that you're so logical."

"But you love me anyway, so cut the shit and open the damn thing."

I laughed once, swiping the tears from my eyes and turning the envelope over in my hands. There was no hesitation with this one; I knew that there was nothing but love filling this envelope, even if it held the truth in there with it.

I pulled out the paper and unfolded it with shaking hands. My eyes scanned the first line and I smiled. It was written just as she would speak, commanding, and always so very articulate. She could walk into a room, talk and everybody would listen, and I could hear it in her writing, in her words, as she started explaining things.

It wasn't a long note by any means, but it was enough. She explained that she had so much to say but no will to do it, that if I was meant to learn of my past I would. As for her part, she explained, she kept my father from me to protect us both from Renée. If Renée had learned about Carlisle's parents passing, she would go back to blackmailing Carlisle, and she knew it would destroy any relationship we tried to build. She closed the letter by telling me how much she loved me and begging for my forgiveness.

"Blackmail?" I asked, handing the note to Leah to read. "I have been kept from my father because my mother is a lying, thieving salope."

"Bella!" Jake said, laughing. "Language, I don't think I have ever heard you use that word."

"Oh don't you start preaching to me, Jacob Black," I growled, pushing his arm from my shoulder. "I can call her whatever the hell I want to; it's my life she's been fucking with."

"Calm down, Bells."

"Now's not the time, Jacob," Leah said curtly, handing him the letter. "Renée is pure fucking evil. Who the hell would do something like that, and what does she have over him that would mean him folding to blackmail?"

"Does it matter?" I asked, my voice an octave higher than normal. "The fact is she would do it; you and I both know that she wouldn't bat an eyelid, just as long as she gets what she wants."

The three of us sat in silence. I was seething as I let all of the times she'd bothered to come home roll around in my head. She hadn't ever wanted to be a mother, she never wanted me. She just kept me in her life to tote around when it suited her. I should have known she wasn't capable of love. I should have figured it would be her that was keeping me from having a regular life. I didn't even know why I was surprised now. I didn't expect that much from her.

Mamére had always had an excuse for her, and I kept letting her make them because I thought that's what she believed. Turned out she thought she was protecting me. She knew what Renée was capable of and made sure I would know it one day too.

"Bella?"

"Jake . . ." Leah started, but I cut her off.

"No it's fine. What is it, Jake?"

"Maybe you should try the letters. There has to be at least forty there; that's at least four times a year since you were six. Maybe he has something to say that you want to hear. Just don't let your mom ruin this for you. This is something of yours. She hasn't been back in years, maybe she's gone for good this time."

Jacob was right. My dad obviously had something to say, or he wouldn't have sent the letters in the first place. He wanted to speak to me, he wanted to open the lines of communication. Maybe opening these letters would lead to me getting to know him just that little bit better so I would know what to expect if or when I ever met him.

I pulled the stack towards me and set them in my lap; my bare legs felt the cutting edge of the paper as it pressed against the flesh. I followed the trail of post marks and opened them in correlating order. They were all set out formally, the address, phone number and date in the top left hand corner, all addressed _My Dearest Isabella_. They all came at the same times of year too: my birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter. All of them had twenty dollars folded neatly inside and a post script on the bottom with a request to contact him if I needed anything. When I finished, I had a stack of twenties that added up to eight hundred and eighty dollars and forty four letters telling me how much he missed me and wished he could see me. All of them were signed, _Love, Dad. _

There was no new information, just endless pleading and small, open-ended questions, best wishes to Renée and mamére, and the request to contact him should I need anything.

"That's a pretty decent stash of money you have there, Bella. What you gonna do with it?" Jacob asked, nodding at the money piled on the floor.

"Don't know yet." But I did. I knew exactly what I was going to do with it. I just didn't know when or how. I needed to think things through and let this fester for a while before I set anything in stone. I also needed to talk to Sue.

"Holy shit, it's three in the morning, Mom is going to kill us," Leah crowed, jumping to her feet and stretching her long thin body out. "What do you want to do with this stuff, Bells?"

"Take it with us. I want your mom to take a look. I think she may have more answers than we do."

Leah nodded and bent to help me gather up the papers. I put the money from the letters in one of the envelopes and gathered everything, stuffing it into the bigger one so I would keep it all together.

It all felt so surreal to me. I was so tired and awake at the same time as my mind processed everything I had discovered tonight. We walked in silence, and I went into the house alone, leaving Leah and Jacob to say goodnight. I sat on the edge of the bed, holding the shorts and t-shirt I had gathered together to change into, unable to move as words and images scrolled through my mind.

What did this all mean? Was I supposed to find my dad? Was I supposed to call him? He'd left his number on the letters after all. The last envelope had been post marked this year, it was for Easter. Did that still mean he wanted to talk to me, to meet me? What if it had just become a habit for him? What if he never expected me to contact him?

I didn't know what I should do. There was still Renée to consider. What if she came back while I was visiting him in New Orleans? Mamére had to have believed she would try blackmailing him still or she would have given me the letters herself. What did Renée have to blackmail him with?

"Bella? You okay?" Leah asked, closing her door quietly as she stepped inside. "You look a little overwhelmed."

"I am," I sighed, throwing myself back onto the bed and throwing my forearm over my eyes. "I just don't know what to do."

Leah sat on the bed beside me, tugging my arm from my face so she could see me. "It's late. Don't make any decisions tonight. Just sleep on it, talk to mom in the morning and then decide."

"You're right, you're right," I admitted, sitting up and pushing myself off the bed. "It's just hard to get past it. All these years of wondering, then in one night, there's all the answers. I can't shut my brain off long enough to change clothes."

"I can hit you over the head with something if you like."

"How the hell did I know you were going to say that?" I asked, laughing. I pulled my shorts on under my dress and turned around so she would unzip it for me.

"Because I've been your best friend for sixteen years and you know me?" she laughed, slapping my ass hard when she'd finished unzipping me. I squealed and hopped out of her reach, turning and swatting at her with the shirt I was holding.

"Bitch."

"Whore."

"Good job, I love you," I snapped playfully, rubbing my ass. For a girl, Leah had some kick in her slaps, and my ass could only take so much, literally.

"Oh quit whining and finish getting changed, and don't forget the light this time."

"You're like a husband, but I don't sex you up and I didn't get the bling."

Leah laughed and stripped down to her underwear, pulling one of Jake's t-shirts on over the top. "I'll have to tell Jake he has some competition."

Leah fell into bed and pulled the covers over her, her hands slapping at the blankets so they were snug around her body. She stopped for a second and looked up at me with a smirk.

"Actually, scrap that last comment. The sick fuck will ask to watch . . ."

"Then you'll get all competitive . . ."

"And we'll end up taking it . . ."

"One step too far," we said together, laughing. Leah had always been able to distract me, and this was no exception. We knew one another too well to get abashed about anything. Jacob liked to push us all the time seeing how far we'd go, but we always managed to fool him, time after time. Finishing one anothers sentences was like second nature to us.

"Light, ya whore!!"

I rolled my eyes and flicked off the light before sliding into the bed. The room was silent for a full five minutes as we lay in the dark, contemplating the evening's finds.

"Yes," Leah sighed, rolling over, taking off her earrings and putting them on the nightstand.

"What?"

"I know you're going to ask, and yes, I will take you into town after you talk to mom."

"Thanks, bitch. Love you."

"Love you too, now let me sleep."

I rolled onto my side and wriggled around as I tried to get comfortable. Leah's signature sigh came from behind me, and I stopped moving. Considering how much information I had absorbed, I could feel the comfort of the darkness closing around me. It wouldn't be long until sleep took me, and I welcomed it because tomorrow would bring something new.

* * *

*Couillon = Village idiot.  
*Salope = Bitch/Whore

* * *

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for the response on the first chapter. You guys are all so awesome and you put the biggest smile on my face :)**

**I am enjoying the relationship Bella and Leah have, they play off one another. Hmmm I wonder why it seems so familiar?!?!?! *Huggles* Miztrezboo.**

**Thank you to Annabanana for her awesome beta skills and fact checking (and Cajun words) Thank you so much for fusing a little authenticity into this sweets.**

**As always a huge thanks to Cass for being patient and honest with me, bendingmirrors for being a star and letting me bounce ideas, Hev99 for being an awesome pre-reader, and Vicki for breaking her review cherry and leaving me love!! (But not for making me haul crap up three flights of stairs!! :P)**

**Thank you to everyone who added this to their alerts, and a HUGE thank you to the reviewers who made me feel loved with their awesome words. Like I said, you guys are amazing!!!**

**As always teasers for next chapters in review replies, and there is the blog priviileged-fanfic(dot)blogspot(dot)com, where the chapter songs and other bits and pieces are. And a GINORMOUS thanks to Salix Caprea who made a forum for this story. I will put the link on my profile and the blog sidebar. Thank you so much!!!**


	3. The Crescent City

_**All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, some of the ideas also belong to V.C. Andrews and the rest . . . my mind! Happy Tuesday :)**_

* * *

**The Crescent City**

_All my past and futures_

_And we all went to heaven in a little row boat_

_There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt_

_**Pyramid Song by Radiohead**_

* * *

"I don't feel comfortable doing this," Leah said, her hands tightening around the steering wheel as she looked over at me briefly. "I just want to make sure that you know that."

"Of course I know that, Lee and I love you for it."

"Then why go without telling anyone?"

It had been a week since we'd gone through all of mamére's things. When I woke up the next morning, I was still so confused, I had almost a thousand dollars and a stack of letters addressed to me. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do about that.

When I went to Sue, she'd been more than helpful. We talked for hours, she relaying all of the information she had on Carlisle, how he and Renée met, and how often they'd seen one another during the pregnancy. She didn't spend much time with Carlisle, and when I asked her about the day they were in New Orleans, Sue blushed and explained that she'd been with Harry, who had gone along on the trip with them so he could spend time with her. She offered no more information than that, and I didn't really want to know. Her blush said everything she hadn't.

When I asked her about the photograph, she surprised me by revealing that she hadn't been there the day I was born. I had always just assumed she had, but she'd been pregnant with Leah at the time. I guess if I thought about it, I would have figured it out. Leah was only a month younger than me, so it made sense.

As far as she knew, or the official story was, Carlisle had been the one to tell mamére and Renée he wanted nothing to do with me at all. Mamére had told her that his parents had insisted he continue on with his studies to become a doctor, as they had planned for most of his life. Even the picture was a shock to her, her eyes widening as she examined it a little closer. She hadn't even realized it had been mamére's decision to keep my dad and me separated. It seemed that had been a secret she had literally taken to the grave with her.

"I don't know, Lee. I just feel that if anyone else knew they would try and call."

"And that's a bad thing because . . .?"

"I already tried that. It didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to," I said, remembering the phone calls I'd made two days ago. The home number produced a nasally woman who demanded to know who I was. Her voice was shrill as she yelled at me down the phone. I hung up immediately at the tone of her voice and thanked God I had made my number unknown before I called. When I called his office, the receptionist refused to put me through without my name. It seemed my only option would be to talk to him face to face.

"You could have simply said who you were."

I knew she would suggest that.

My best friend knew me very well, and I, in turn, knew her better than anyone else. She hadn't asked me before because she hadn't thought I would go through with this. She hadn't believed for a second that I would spend the money from the envelopes and go to New Orleans to find him myself; I normally wasn't that brave. This though, this was too real for her, this was her driving me to the bus station with my bags to get a ticket, and it was in her nature to question my choice.

I threw my head back against the headrest and covered my face with my hands. I wasn't exactly sure how to explain the why, not without it sounding juvenile and selfish anyway. I was so worried about the reaction I would get, I almost hadn't called to begin with. Everything in me was pushing me to this moment.

"Come on, Bella. You know you can tell me anything."

I rolled my head slowly to look across at her. Her head was half turned between me and the road, and her eyebrows were raised with the question.

"Honestly?" I asked, knowing the answer before the words came out of my mouth.

"You have to ask?"

I took a deep breath, verbalizing this was harder than I thought. "Because I want to be the one to tell him. If I gave either of those women my name, he would know, he could prepare himself. I want the reaction to be first hand, so I know how he feels about it. Mamére always said that the first reaction is always the most honest; if there's disappointment behind his eyes, I want to see it."

"I can appreciate that; I think. Even when he's been the one reaching out to you all this time. I just don't understand why you don't tell anyone you're going."

"You really want me to list off the reasons?"

"Yes."

"Ugh you're infuriating," I growled. "Okay, your mom would want to call him and let him know I'm coming, because it's the polite thing to do. I agree with it, but in this case I think it would defeat the purpose of the exercise. If I told Seth or Jacob, they would get all protective and tell your mom. Need I go on?"

"I don't like this."

"You already said that," I grinned, clapping my hands. I knew that it meant she would keep her mouth shut till I called. She was giving me a chance to do this my way.

"Maybe I should take you into New Orleans." She frowned her hands flexing on the rubber of the wheel below them; I could hear the groaning of the flesh against it. My smile faded a little.

"Mileage on the car - your mom would shit bricks. Not to mention I don't like the thought of you driving home alone."

Leah slammed her hands onto the steering wheel and looked sternly at me. "Just like how your going alone on a bus makes me feel? Dammit, Bella. I love you to death, and you're constantly thinking of others, but sometimes, maybe just once, I would like you to think of yourself. It's dangerous out there, and that includes riding on buses."

"Calm down, Lee."

"I can't, Bells. You're my best friend, you have been, pretty much, since birth; you may as well be my fucking sister, but I hate that you're doing this alone. It would be easy to turn around, go pick Jake up - then I have someone to ride back with - and I would know you got there safe. I can write off the mileage."

I sighed and looked down at my lap again. It would be so easy to say yes, so easy to have my comfort blankets with me when I knocked on that door for the first time, but I had to do this alone.

This whole plan of mine made me nervous as hell; I couldn't lie about that. Every time I thought about what I was doing, I felt nauseous. My heart would pound in my chest, my palms would dampen and my throat became constricted, but I had to do it. I had to know that, whatever he said or did, he did because he meant it. He couldn't run from me, he couldn't mask the truth if I saw him face to face.

Leah didn't understand that it was taking all of my will power to do this. I knew she was only trying to help because she loved me. I loved her for caring enough to trying to stop me, but I had to do this. She would hate him if he rejected me and she had to see that pain on my face. It would be hard enough to deal with on my own without trying to placate Leah and her anger too.

"Leah, you know I have to do this alone. I promise I will call you the moment I get there, and I promise that, if anything goes wrong, you'll be the first person to know."

"I better be, Bella. New Orleans is a big city."

"I know that, Lee."

We rode the last ten minutes of the way in silence. The closest bus station we knew of was in Lafayette, and it was at least thirty minutes drive from New Iberia. I could sense how aggravated Leah was, I really didn't want to fight with her before I left, so I knew I had to make peace as she pulled into the small station.

"Leah, I'm sorry you're uncomfortable with this, but you know why I have to do it; you know me well enough to realize what will happen if I don't."

"I know, Bells. I'm not saying you shouldn't do this, I'm just saying think about it. Summer's almost over; mom would want you to do it before we go back to school. Maybe talk to her and let her know what you're thinking."

"Leah, I can't; you know what she'll say. I promise, if he doesn't want to talk to me, I will be on the bus home tonight."

Leah took a deep breath and looked out the window at the small station in front of us. I knew she hated lying to the people we loved; she also hated to see me do this to myself, knowing the outcome could destroy me, but she'd said it herself earlier, he had been the one communicating with me for the last ten years; there was a chance he wanted to see me.

"You'd better go get your ticket before the bus gets here. You only have fifteen minutes left."

I nodded, my throat felt dry and scratchy as the nerves kicked in. I had never been so anxious before in my life. One thing about living in a small community was the sanctuary it provided. Everyone knew everybody else, there was never much conflict, and it was safe.

I was about to walk into something that my life there hadn't prepared me for. I was heading into a big city, inexperienced and scared out of my wits. I didn't know what was waiting for me there, and I didn't know what the outcome would be.

I climbed out of the car and headed into the small station, the ticket counter tucked away in a corner. There was no line, and only one person seated behind the desk. She was a middle aged woman who looked a little bored as she continued to read the magazine she was flipping through.

"How can I help you, bebé?" The woman behind the counter enquired with a friendly reassuring smile when she realized I was there.

"One ticket to New Orleans, please."

She eyed me cautiously, "How old are you?"

"Eighteen, I'm going to check out my new college dorm before summer's over."

I had already thought up the excuse I was going to use. I wasn't a particularly good liar, but this was one I had been preparing for since I had made the decision to leave for New Orleans. I even had the back up ready, but thankfully I didn't need it. Her smile broadened, and she started typing away on her computer. Her eyes flickered up to me briefly.

"I always wished I'd gone to college. I missed out on the whole experience," she said, smiling wistfully. "Did you want a return ticket?"

"Yes please," I answered as politely as I could. I may have every wish in my heart that a relationship with my dad would work out, but I had to be prepared for anything. My heart sunk in my chest as the thought permeated my conscious. It was like a nervousness, a fear, it dwelt below my skin, so many possibilities, so many outcomes. What was I doing?

Now was not the time to be second-guessing myself; the woman was already tenuous about giving me a ticket. I, looking like I had stolen the crown jewels, was helping nothing. Her eyes flickered to me briefly as I bounced on my toes again. I almost expected to get caught in my lie as I stood watching her fingers coasting over the keys.

Thankfully, she seemed to think nothing of it.

I paid for my ticket with the cash my Dad had been sending me. I wasn't really sure I wanted to spend it, but it was better than asking Sue for the money - she was the executor of mamére's will, but there were instructions to wait until my college attendance or twentieth birthday before she could release the money to me.

The lady wished me luck and handed me the ticket with a smile. She seemed genuinely excited for me, but all I could manage in return was a nod of my head. Not only had I just spent some of the money Carlisle had given me, but it was on a ticket to see him and I felt a little overwhelmed. Time was ticking by and it would be less than ten minutes before the bus arrived.

The morning sun, low in the sky, blinded me as I walked out of the station. It took my eyes a while to focus in the light, but when they did, I saw Leah was leaning against the hood of the car, looking progressively more worried as the departure time crept towards us.

"Are you sure?" she asked, her voice almost a plea.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I sighed, giving her a weak smile. This was the first time in my life I would go anywhere without her and it terrified me. I would miss her more than anyone or anything, even if I _was_ only gone for a few of hours.

"Seth's going to kill me," she grinned, biting her lip as she tried to rein in her smirk.

"Oh fuck off," I said, laughing and pulling her into a tight hug as I tugged on her ponytail. "I may only be gone a few hours tops."

"No way," she sniffed, hugging me back. "He's gonna love you, Bells. He's not going to want to let go of you, and I'll have to travel for hours to come and see you!"

"Don't say that, Lee," I sighed, my eyes welling up with tears. I had let my self consider spending time with him but hadn't really thought of a permanent arrangement. I couldn't imagine not having Leah there every second of every day. I wouldn't know how to operate without her.

"This is so weird. You've always been there, Bells."

"You say that as though I'm never coming home."

"You may find your home with him."

I nodded, unable to speak. I knew if I tried to talk the tears would come. I hated saying goodbye to her, but I had to know who I was and where I came from; this was the only way of doing it.

We stood next to one another, leaning against the hood of the car in silence as we waited. There was nothing left to say. She knew I'd made up my mind, and I knew she didn't want me to go. There was really nothing more that could be said. The silence wasn't uncomfortable though. It was the way things always were when we disagreed on something, just that thoughtful contemplation as we let the words sink in.

The sound of the diesel engine broke the ringing of the crickets chirping as it approached. It was the one thing I had been dreading and looking forward to for almost a week now. My heart hammered against my ribs as I looked around to see it's approach.

"I'll miss you, Bells. Jake is gonna kill me for bringing you here without you saying goodbye."

"I know, but I will be back, Lee," I said, turning back around and smiling, hopeful that she would understand.

And she did.

She always did.

Leah pulled me into a tight embrace as the bus pulled in off the highway. I bit back the tears that threatened to spill over. I didn't know why this felt so much like goodbye, but I could feel it in every inch of my body as the bus drew closer.

I wanted to break down and tell her every fear I had before I left. I wanted to tell how much the thought of him actually wanting me to stay scared the ever-loving shit out of me. Yet I had to be strong. Any sign of weakness and Leah would grip it and run with it; she knew me too well not to.

We separated, the engine of the bus hissing as it came to a stop, signaling my immediate departure. Leah was going to get the third degree over this, but I would explain the moment I got into the city; I would call Sue as soon as I had met Carlisle. Leah only needed to cover for me a couple of hours. I knew she would do it for me, even if she didn't agree.

"Love you, Lee."

"Love you back, Bells; you better call me when you get there."

"I will, I promise." I pulled my small duffel bag from the back seat of the car and gave her one last hug before I boarded the bus. I waved at her through the window and gave the biggest smile I could as I fell into the seat. I couldn't show her how scared I was; she would happily climb on this bus and pull me off.

My stomach rolled as her tears slid slowly down her cheeks. Leah was the strongest person I knew. I had only seen her cry twice in our lifetime - when her Dad died and when mamére died. Yet here she was, standing by her car sobbing because I was leaving. Even as well as I knew her, I hadn't expected that; I hadn't expected to see my best friend breaking her heart as though she was losing me for good.

It was almost enough to make me get off the bus.

Almost.

Before I could let the thought swirl around my head any longer, the bus jerked forward and started out of the small station. I turned in my seat, watching Leah as she got in her car with one final glance at the bus. A minute longer and I would have been standing there with her. I had no doubt about that. I wasn't strong enough to sit there and watch her break.

I fell back into the seat with a large exhaled breath.

This was it. This was really it. I was going to meet my dad, come hell or high water, and nothing was going to stop me. I would have felt nervous or anxious, but I wasn't really sure what to feel anymore. The ball of emotions seemed to spin around in my chest, fluttering like birds after the rain; it wouldn't settle on just one. When I began feeling sure of what I felt, a new one would push it out of the way, and I would start all over again.

Was this normal?

It didn't feel normal, but then I'd never just stepped out of my comfort zone and gotten on a bus to see my estranged father before either. And as if that wasn't enough, I was going to New Orleans. The city that had pretty much brought about my existence, a city I had never been to. It scared the crap out of me.

"Miss?"

I looked up to see the man in front of me standing up and looking down at me like I had four heads.

"Yes, sir?"

"Will you please stop with the foot tapping?"

Foot tapping? I looked down at my legs and grimaced - both of them were bouncing up and down with all of my pent up nervous energy. I stopped and felt the slight ache of the muscles I had been working. How had I not noticed that?

I pulled my legs up under me and looked up at the man, offering him an apologetic smile. I had no idea how long we'd been on this bus, but I was certain my legs had been doing their odd dance the entire time. It was a nervous habit of mine that drove Leah mad.

I needed something to distract me. I was over thinking everything and driving myself crazy just sitting here staring out the window. I felt like one of those kids who constantly asks, "_Are we there yet?_" every time the bus pulled into a station.

I opened up the messenger bag I had brought with me and pulled out the stash of letters, hoping that they would calm me down. Re-reading my dad's words, wanting to get to know me and saying how much he'd missed me should have been reassuring, but to the contrary, it made me more anxious than I had been simply thinking.

All too soon, the bus pulled into the city of New Orleans.

I wasn't ready.

As we wove through the streets toward the station, I found myself longing for the annoyance of the trip's longevity. Being stuck on the bus almost seemed like a blessing rather than a curse as I realized how much closer I was to meeting my dad.

I put the letters back in my bag and pulled out the two maps I'd printed. One took me to his office, the other his home. I had chosen a Wednesday to see him because his office hours were shorter than normal. If I went to his office, I would be subjected to the receptionist once again asking for my name, which, in turn, would give him an advance warning. If I went straight to his home, I would have the element of surprise, but I wasn't sure what, or more to the point, who would be there.

I had to take that chance, it was better than the alternative. If he wasn't home, I would lie and walk away. It would be easy, no one would know any different. I could tell them I had the wrong house.

I put away the map to his office and collected my things as we pulled to a stop. This was it. I was in New Orleans, the city I was conceived in, the city that my dad had lived in without me knowing it for sixteen years. It held so many answers but so many fears.

The heat was oppressive as I stepped off the air conditioned bus and onto the asphalt below. I could feel the torridity rising from the street against my bare legs as I moved further from the door. The most surprising thing was the noise. It was constant, traffic, people walking and talking, and the hum of the city that surrounded me. I had never experienced anything like it in my life.

I found a pay phone close to the station and dropped eight quarters in to it, hoping it would be enough. I'd made a promise to Leah, and I intended on keeping it. Thankfully, she was the one who answered.

"Bella?"

"It's me. Everything ok?"

"No, far from it actually. Jacob is pissed off, when Seth asked what was wrong he opened his fucking mouth and blabbed like a bitch . . ." Leah's voice grew muffled and then disappeared altogether. It seemed Jacob was there with her, trying to get the phone so he could tell me what he thought himself.

I waited patiently as indecipherable whispers passed back and forth before the phone was picked up again.

"Sorry, Bells. He's being an asstard, and Seth's threatening to tell mom if I don't."

"Why is it the only time I do something like this everyone freaks out? Emily was gone for more than forty eight hours, but there were no repercussions from that. Then there was the time Kim and Jared took off to go to the rodeo in Houston without telling anyone, no one threatened to get all righteous then either. So why me?"

"Umm, preaching to the choir here, sister. Don't worry, I will sit on him until you call if you like. He will not tell mom about this . . ." She paused as Seth's muffled voice could be heard. "Like hell you will, Seth. Stop being such a brat, or I will tell Bella about that thing in your room."

There was scuffling on the other end of the line as Seth and Leah began a screaming match.

"Bella?"

"Hey Jake, Sorry I didn't say goodbye, I just wasn't even sure I had the guts to get on the bus y'know?"

"I just wish you'd let us come with. New Orleans is a huge city, I was worried enough when Lee said y'all were in Lafayette."

"I'm fine, I promise, anything happens and I will call you."

"What good's that gonna do when we're over two hours away?"

"Jake, please. I have to do this. I have to know, and if Sue finds out, she'll call. Please just hold Seth off for a couple more hours till I call back, please."

Jacob growled down the phone, but I knew I had won . . . for now. He wouldn't rat me out. "Fine."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. Oh, and what does Seth have in his room?"

"You don't wanna know."

"Yes I do," I laughed, throwing two more quarters in the phone.

"You remember last summer? When you were in your . . ."

"No!" Seth's voice filled the line before it went dead completely. I would have to find out later when he wasn't around to boycott the call. I would get answers, but for now I was confident Jake and Leah would hold him off.

I made my way down to Howard Avenue, which would lead me to Lee Circle. From there, I could get the St. Charles Avenue street car right into the heart of the garden district where my dad lived. There would be a little bit of walking involved, but it didn't seem so daunting anymore because it was giving me the extra time I so desperately needed.

Even now, I was trying to talk myself out of this. The constant questions that seemed to hound me were the most difficult thing to endure because in some cases I knew the answer; I was just terrified to come to terms with it. I had to keep reminding myself how much easier this would all be once I got this out of my system, how when I finally got my answers, I could move on. At least I hoped I could.

For now, I had to distract myself from what I was doing long enough to just do it. I had a whole city around me to take in, and I was ambling down the street with my eyes on my feet. It was ridiculous considering how much beauty filled the city beyond streets like this.

The one thing I did notice was, it felt so much hotter here, I was sure it couldn't be right, but it seemed to permeate my body, and by the time I made it to St. Charles and stood waiting for the trolley, my back was damp and my shirt clung tightly to my chest. I felt disgusting, but there was nothing I could do about it now; the best I could hope for was a gas station or Rite Aid or something when I got closer so I could clean up a little bit. The last thing I wanted to do was meet anyone looking like this. What kind of first impression was that going to give?

I got on the street car a little worse for wear at having to race to the stop before it passed me completely. Everything here was so new; I had no idea what I was doing at all, and if the passerby hadn't heard my mumbled concerns I would never have known what to do. If I'd have had more time, I would have liked to have thanked her as well.

The trolley was almost full to capacity with tourists and college students. Squeezing myself in with the huge duffel bag didn't make things any easier either. With the thin layer of sweat on my skin making things more uncomfortable and my mind really not being on anything other than my next stop, it wasn't the most commodious ride I'd ever taken in my life. People seemed to shift around one another while chatting about the sights of St. Charles Avenue.

Any other time, I would have been more interested in the views surrounding me, but it was impossible to concentrate on anything. Nervous, anxious energy seemed like a cage locking me into my own little world while my heart beat to a sporadic tempo and my stomach clenched and released. It was getting harder to remember why I insisted on doing this alone.

I pulled the cord to stop when we were between Third and Fourth Streets and fought my way to get off the street car before it took off again. I threw my bag back on my shoulder with a huff the moment I stepped out onto the asphalt and finally drank in my surroundings. It was breathtaking. The houses that lined the Avenue were beautiful. It wasn't the same as any other city were the houses were all lined up in generic little rows. This was different, they were all different. I'd heard Sue talking about the Garden District before, but I had never expected this. Trees edged the street, casting deep shadows against the ground which almost touched across the neutral ground, making it look more like wonderland than Louisiana. Beyond that, each of the houses that lined the street seemed to be framed perfectly with trees and foliage.

I couldn't seem to drink it all in at once. It was all too much to take in, and I found myself wishing I had brought my friends with me so they could share this. How had we gone our whole lives without coming here?

I wandered slowly in the direction I should be going, but my eyes were on everything around me. I didn't expect comfort, being this close to my dad and the truth, and I hadn't really been wrong. What surprised me was the intimidation that came with these houses. We had assumed Carlisle was rich, but never in my wildest dreams had I expected this. These couldn't even be classed as houses. Most of them were mansions, ornate structures that seemed to tower over the streets and trees that lined them. Somehow, 'rich' wasn't a big enough word to cover it.

What the hell was I thinking coming here? I didn't fit into this world, and I doubted I ever would. So why the hell had I talked myself into this?

I stopped walking. I couldn't do this. It was stupid of me to even think I could. It was a waste of time and money, and I should have just had Sue call him. Curiosity was one thing, but this was just stupid. This was masochistic.

I looked around myself and almost laughed at where my subconscious had taken me. The numbers of the house matched the ones on the piece of paper tucked neatly in my back pocket, and without even looking at the street sign, I knew where I was.

This was the house. This was _his _house.

As hot as the sun was, my blood ran cold through my body, making me shiver. So much for having to do this alone. Right now I needed Leah here because I knew she would be pushing me toward the door. Encouraging me to get this out of my system. Alone, I couldn't do it; I couldn't force myself toward the cast iron gate, so the front door was hopeless.

I couldn't do it.

I spun around so quickly, I made myself dizzy; it was like a head rush but I was already standing up. Ignoring the need to grab onto something, I stumbled forward, trying to shake off the bad equilibrium as I darted around the corner, but I didn't make it far. The brick wall that came out of nowhere knocked me to my ass.

My spine seemed to vibrate from the impact as the jarring pain rode up the vertebrae. I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as I could as my teeth finished the wave of impact with a sharp crack as they snapped together. Typical of me really, not paying attention at all and slamming into someone bigger than myself.

The arrogant snort of laughter pulled me from the apologies I had stockpiled to spew forth; I hadn't been looking where I was going, but there was no need to laugh at my misfortune. You'd think after sixteen years of tripping over my own feet, I'd be used to it, but it never got any easier. Assholes like this just made me feel even worse about it. I looked up to see three guys about the same age as me standing around as though this was a spectator's sport.

Dicks.

Nice to see chivalry was alive and well.

"Nice shot, Emmett," one of the slimmer darker haired boys said with a smirk. His air of arrogance was evident as he looked down at me with distaste, shaking his head. He looked over at his friend, a blond guy with amazing blue eyes, and groaned audibly.

"What can I say, Pete, girls just fall for me."

"You're such an arrogant ass, Emmett," the one called Pete said as he stepped over me and carried on walking.

_'Don't mind the road kill, keep on walking_,' I thought, swallowing the comment that had already bubbled up into my throat. I wasn't normally this arduous, but the audacity of this asshole was grating on my nerves.

The blond guy gave me one last glance, his eyed narrowed as though he was bored of the situation, before following his friend.

I was amazed by the rudeness of them. Who just steps over someone who's fallen down anyway? It wasn't as though I'd knocked any of them down. I hadn't even said a word to them, yet this was the attitude I'd gotten. The light and heat coming from the ground swirled in front of me with it's liquid motion, and I could feel the hot concrete against my thighs as I tried to regain any kind of composure and dignity.

I was so wrapped up in my disbelief and disgust, I wasn't even aware the guy they called Emmett was there until he spoke.

"Sorry kid, you know they're assholes," he said, offering me his hand. "Welcome home by the way, love the hair, but what the fuck are you wearing, Iz?"

. . .

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**A/N: Happy Birthday Susayq!!! Hope you have an awesome day sweets!!**

**I know, so close to answers, yet oh so far away!! Poor Bella just keeps getting thrown new hoops to jump through bless her.**

**Thank you to my beta, Annabanana for fact checking and making my English so much better. She rocks!!**

**As always a huge thank you to my plot bunnies and hand holders. My twinnie miztrezboo because she slaps me around when I'm being ridiculous, bendingmirrors because she will sit and listen to me go on and on, and bob (Hev99) for being patient and keeping me smiling.**

**Another huge thank you to Salix Caprea for the forum. You're awesome thank you sweets.**

**I would like to say another collective thank you to all of you who reviewed. I was so paranoid about this story and you've really made me smile and feel a bit more confident about posting, and I have no idea how to thank you for all of your kind words and encouragement. I love you all!!**

**As always there will be teasers, and there's polyvore, songs and pictures on the blog :) privileged-fanfic(dot)blogspot(dot)com.**

**Much love and huge hugz ~ Weezy**


	4. Carlisle

_**All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, and some of the idea goes to V.C. Andrews, the rest comes from my mind. ;) Happy Tuesday**_  
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**Carlisle**

_Living your end_  
_Never seem to get in the place that I belong _  
_Don't wanna lose the time_  
_Lose the time to come _**  
_Letting The Cables Sleep - Bush_**

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_**My head cocked to the side the minute the name left his lips. Izzy? Seth had always called me Izzy, much to my dismay - no matter how many times Leah threatened to kick his ass, he went right back to it. The question was, how did this complete stranger know my name at all, let alone a nickname derived from it? Who was he? And why did he seem to know me?

I continued looking at his bemused face as he curled the fingers on his outstretched hand, inviting me to take it. My mind seemed to be going through a million possibilities as I stared blankly at him. It wasn't until his smile became something more akin to confusion that I realized how my dumbstruck expression was probably leading him to believe I was mentally incapable of processing what he was trying to do.

I took the offered hand and let him pull me to my feet. With one tug, he moved me with very little effort, making my head spin and causing a slight breeze to travel swiftly up my skirt. My body propelled into the air faster than I had expected it to, and I slammed against his with the excess effort he'd given. Anyone would think I weighed nothing at all the way he threw me about. Flustered, I apologized profusely before stumbling back from him with my eyes on my feet.

My entire body ached from the fall, it shouldn't have been the issue at that point in time, considering the situation I found myself in, but the affliction was too much to ignore. I concentrated solely on trying to avoid rubbing the stinging ache at the top of my ass so it didn't look like I was feeling myself up, while keeping my eyes on the relative stranger in front of me.

"I would have expected a comeback from that."

"From what?" I asked, making sure the skirt I was wearing covered everything it should. It would be just my luck that the damn thing would ride up and my ass would be hanging out.

The blush stained my cheeks the moment the thought entered my mind. What about when I fell? Had I at least been graceful and not flashed all three guys my hot pink underwear? This was mortifying. At least Emmett seemed to be more focused on my behavior than my embarrassment.

"My insult, you'd normally have some witty retort. What's with you?" he asked, starting forward again as I bent to pick up my bags that had been scattered when I'd hit the ground. I looked up at Emmett as I pulled the messenger bag over my head. This was perhaps the most bizarre exchange I'd ever had in my life. Had they been expecting me?

"I think there are probably more pressing matters than what I'm wearing," I said, looking down at my clothes and wondering why he seemed to be so offended by them.

"Whatever you say. Are you coming or going?" Emmett asked, stepping around me and wiggling his eyebrows as he passed.

Going where exactly?

As disconcerting as my comfort level with Emmett was, it didn't extinguish the curiosity that was still the most prevalent topic at hand. Why was I feeling so comfortable with him? Was it his apparent familiarity with me? Was it because I had met him before? I didn't think I had; I would remember someone like him.

"I'm not waiting all day, space cadet."

The confusion I had felt previously passed. Confusion was now a twinkle in my very perplexed mind. Right now, I needed answers before my head exploded.

"Who _are_ you?" I asked. I wasn't trying to be rude, even though the way I blurted it out made it sound that way. It was a valid question, I was standing in a city I'd never been to before, and here was this giant, talking to me like he'd known me his whole life. What was I missing?

Emmett seemed to contemplate me again as I questioned him. It seemed both of us were left off center and couldn't find the common ground to get the answers we needed. Instead, we seemed to go with the more antagonistic route of interacting.

"Very nice, Iz, I see the hair didn't change your attitude."

I raised my eyebrows at his slight. Attitude? What attitude? I wasn't being purposely pedantic; I wasn't acting like I didn't know him just to piss him off. In fact, I had no idea what he was talking about, and he had yet to answer any of my questions. It wasn't a particularly hard line of questioning either.

Emmett didn't seem bothered by our exchange. There was no contrition for the comment, and what's more, my confusion seemed to amuse him. I could see the dimples forming on his cheeks as his lips curled up into a smile.

Sadly, I found it adorably endearing.

"How do you know my name?" I asked again, this time I was about ready to stomp my foot to get the point across, but Jacob constantly called me out on it. It really wouldn't surprise me if Emmett here did the same thing, so I contained myself.

"My God, you're such a brat."

"Excuse me?" I asked, affronted. He'd done nothing but insult me, albeit playfully, since I'd met him, and it was starting to push my buttons. I'd never been this irritable in my life, well not with a perfect stranger anyway.

"This is why you have so many problems," Emmett sighed, the smile falling from his lips. "You complain about no one wanting to hang out with you; this is why. Sometimes I wonder why I put up with your shit."

"Who do you think I am?"

"Izzy Cullen," he said with an exasperated sigh. "And I'm leaving now."

Emmett turned around and started walking away. He shook his head slowly, making the curls bounce, leaving me on the sidewalk feeling even more baffled than I had been. It was like every question he answered created more in my head. Izzy Cullen? So he did know who I was. Did my dad tell him about me? If he did, why would he make me out to be a brat? I'd never even met my father, did he think I was a brat because I didn't answer his letters? It hardly seemed fair since he'd alluded to the fact that he suspected I wasn't receiving them.

"Wait, Emmett," I called out after him, realizing he was possibly the one person, other than Carlisle, that would be able to answer any of my questions.

"No, It's too hot to play your stupid games. You wanna talk, catch up," he said, calling back over his shoulder.

I folded my arms and watched him walk toward the street corner. My foot tapped impatiently as I tried to make up my mind. I was nervous about following him but I wanted answers. Maybe he had some.

My teeth worried my bottom lip as the questions I needed to ask rolled around in my head.

I had to do it. I had to follow him.

I growled at myself before throwing my duffel bag over my shoulder and taking off after Emmett. I didn't even know what I was doing anymore. I could be getting myself into a situation, yet here I was, chasing _him_ down. I was pushing away every one of the instincts that told me to stop and persevered around the corner, almost running into him again.

Leah would kill me if she were here.

"Nice of you to join me," Emmett said as I slowed from my run to walk at his pace. I rolled my eyes and bounced my bag again as I looked up at him.

"Humor me here, who are you?"

"Emmett McCarty," he chuckled, slowing down until he was barely moving.

"How do you know me?"

Emmett stopped completely and turned to face me; we were inches apart now. His blue eyes latched onto mine as he inched forward, instantly making me nervous again. I could see the curiosity there. I could see that he was trying to read me and whether or not I was telling the truth. Something he saw seemed to convince him though.

"I am your step brother, my mom, Tanya, is married to your dad, Carlisle."

"Step brother? What happened to Elizabeth?"

"Are you messing with me?"

"No," I answered, biting back the 'you idiot' because I really didn't want to offend him. He seemed like a nice guy.

"Your dad divorced Elizabeth when you were ten. He married mom when I was fourteen and you and my brother, Peter, were thirteen. Well you were twelve, almost thirteen I think," he said, rolling his eyes back as he tried to remember. "So what happened to you, and why are you dressed like that?"

Again with the clothes. I chose to ignore it this time around.

"I came to see Carlisle."

"That's kind of obvious, considering you're standing outside his house and all."

"Do you have a sarcastic remark for everything, Emmett? Or is it just your response to me?"

"Just you," he said, grinning, elbowing me playfully. "You're too easy, and you bite every time. You normally give as good as you get, but seeing as we're playing a new game of yours, one I imagine you picked up in New York, I figure I'll make the most of it before you get that silver tongue of yours back."

"Silver tongue? See I really think you're confused. I've never met you before, Emmett."

"No offense, kid, but I'm already bored of this game."

"Then just take me to see Carlisle."

"Better not keep the man waiting then," Emmett replied with a smirk, showcasing his deep and endearing dimples. He stepped away from me and started off toward the house again. How someone could be so friendly and infuriating all at the same time was beyond me, but both applied to Emmett McCarty. He was like the Jacob of New Orleans.

I followed him slowly, still unsure of whether or not I was doing the right thing. Carlisle had obviously told his family about me - what other explanation was there? How else would he know me and assume my responses?

Emmett's long legs had him coasting through the gate and up the stairs of the porch without a backwards glance. I had two choices here. Follow him and still hold the upper hand in the element of surprise, or leave, and either come back later or not at all, losing the element of surprise and the courage needed to strike up a conversation.

"Last chance, kid," Emmett said from the front door, his head cocked to the side as he gave me another smile.

This was it. I had to make a decision now.

My fingers tightened around the strap of the duffel bag as I ran through the gate and up the stairs. I almost tripped on the third step up but managed to right myself before I fell headlong into the front door. My heart was in my throat and my gut was twisting into painful knots, but I was out of options. I was a remorseful thinker sometimes. I knew this would be one of those instances, but I had to do it. It had to be now, or I would walk away and get on the bus home.

The southern Victorian style of the house didn't seem quite so intimidating once I was closer to the door. With the gables out of view, it was easier to drink in the intricate iron design that seemed to frame in the porch. My hand slid against the metal as I passed it on my way to the door. I hadn't taken the time to appreciate it when I'd found myself in front of it earlier; my nerves had been eating away at me and my flight instinct had kicked in at first glance.

Not to mention the fact that I'd momentarily freaked out and decided against the meeting.

I followed Emmett into the house and almost fell flat on my ass at the view that greeted me. The large open foyer with highly polished hardwood floors and rich colored walls seemed to house the vintage furniture perfectly. The ceiling seemed to rise forever only interrupted by the staircase that rose to the second floor. I had never seen anything like it in my life.

There were several doors leading off into different rooms, and I found myself curious as to what lay behind them. There seemed to be far too many doors for the usual rooms you would find in a house. My head tipped back on my shoulders as I looked up at the ceilings.

"Come on space cadet."

Emmett disappeared into one of the rooms at the front of the house, and I had no choice but to follow him in. My eyes were on the fleur de lis pattern that seemed to be incorporated into the crown molding running along the edges of the high ceilings of the room we entered, and for a second, I was oblivious to everything but the design of the house.

"Fuck me, what's wrong with her now?" Peter asked. He was sitting on a couch that looked as though it should be in a museum. Everything looked as though it was the same period as the house, vintage and old worldy; I would even goes as far as to say gawdy in some instances. The only thing that seemed to stand out was the huge flat screen television hanging over the fireplace. Peter was holding a remote to a game system, tapping on the buttons furiously.

"Leave her alone, Pete," Emmett said, throwing himself onto the couch next to his brother and picking up a remote.

"Fuck off, Emmett. Your self righteous bullshit is getting old. She can look after herself."

"Back up to the menu and add me."

"Fuck off."

"No, you fuck off."

"I fucking hate you sometimes," Peter said, hitting a button on the controller, taking them back to a menu screen.

"I hate you all the time, which is why you're about to have your ass handed to you on a silver platter."

The banter continued until the game started again, then both fell into a concentrated silence, leaving only the sound of buttons tapping and the game's macabre sounds to fill the room. I dropped my bag by an empty chair by the door and perched on the edge of it, finally letting my surroundings sink in.

This was so bizarre. I had wanted to know about my dad my whole life, and here I was, sitting in his living room looking at his possessions as his step-sons battled to the death on some game I had never seen before. Even though the air was cool in the house, I found my palms dampening with every passing car or every voice that came close enough to hear.

I tried to drink in everything that surrounded me without moving and causing the dark haired kid sitting next to Emmett to throw yet another insult at me. It seemed he was under the same misapprehension as Emmett was but a little less friendly about the whole situation. Maybe he was closer to Carlisle than Emmett was. I knew I'd never done anything to him.

I tried to think of everything I wanted to ask Carlisle. The questions mulled around in my mind. Did he really want to see me? And if he wanted to, why had he never tried to come and see me at maméres? Why would his parents lie to him about me being dead? What information did Renee hold over him to blackmail him? Did he ever get answers to his letters?

Then there were the new questions. Why did these people act as though they knew me? Why did they seem to resent me when I'd never met them before? What happened with Elizabeth?

It was a never ending cycle of questions. Ones I needed answers to because there was no way of moving on without them. I hadn't intended this to become a confrontation or an interrogation, but the questions seemed to form themselves in an accusatory tone.

I was beginning to wish I'd never bumped into Emmett and the others because it made it impossible to call Leah and ask her advice. I knew that she would be just as shocked as I was at the way I was received by these people. Even now, in their living room, they were going on like they would on any normal day, almost as though they expected me to be there.

"Boys," A voice said from somewhere in the house, making me jump. I hadn't expected anyone else to be here, and the voice startled me.

"In here," Emmett yelled in response, elbowing Peter as he tried to win the bloody battle they had been involved in on screen.

I immediately felt defensive again. Meeting another person in my dad's life before I'd met him hadn't occurred to me, and now I was faced with the reality of having to do so, I found myself freaking out internally. I could feel my heart restricting my breathing as I waited for my dad's wife to show up in the very room and look at me as though I were a bug in her pristine house.

Why wouldn't she? It wasn't as though her sons had made me feel all that welcome. Granted, Emmett was friendly enough, but even he had defenses up against me, masked with his sarcasm. Why? I didn't know, but I did plan on finding out; I just wished it was before I met Carlisle's wife.

A beautiful strawberry blonde entered the room. Her short hair was in loose curls, resting comfortably on her shoulders, as she breezed in, holding two very red dresses.

"Ok, Carlisle and I have that gala tonight, which one?" she asked, holding them up to the two boys on the couch. She hadn't even noticed me yet.

"The one on the right," Emmett said, hitting the pause button and smiling at his mom.

"Left," Peter answered, rolling his eyes. "May as well call a spade a spade."

The woman shook her head and turned to exit the room, finally catching me in her peripheral vision.

"What the hell are you doing home already? I thought your dad was picking you up?" she spat, her distaste evident as she looked me up and down. "I told Carlisle you would come back looking like common trash, seems I wasn't wrong."

My mouth fell open as the woman marched out of the room with her head held high, not a glance backwards at any of us. What the hell was wrong with these people?

I could feel the familiar prick of the tears as the salty water flooded my eyes. I needed the bathroom; maybe if I changed they would be a little less hostile. Every one of them had insulted my clothes and me. Maybe if I changed now, I would be less likely to insult Carlisle when he got home.

"Emmett," I whispered, hoping I would get his attention without another snide remark from his brother. He turned to look at me with a smile that quickly faded when he saw my face. "Where's the bathroom, please?"

"Ha, like you don't know," Peter spat from beside him, still hammering on the buttons.

"Under the stairs," Emmett answered, looking a little concerned as he appraised me.

I offered him a weak smile and picked up my bag, heading toward the foyer where I'd seen the staircase. I could hear someone moving around on the upper floor and slid into the room under the stairs where the door was cracked open.

My hand slid along the wall until I came across a switch and flicked it on. There was a mural of what looked like French countryside on the back wall. The huge mirror, angled down towards me displayed just what a mess I was. It was bad enough to have to swallow the insults these people were throwing at me, but I looked tired, and terrified.

My eyes, now red and swollen from the fat tears rolling down my cheeks, looked dimmer than I had ever seen them before. Less than an hour in my dad's world, and it was already killing my spirit. I should never have come. I should have let Sue take care of this for me. Everyone was so cruel, and I had done nothing to deserve any of this.

I leaned against the wall behind me and closed my eyes. This was ridiculous. Why was I letting these people get to me like this? I may not have the money they had, but it didn't mean they were better than me. Not by a long shot.

I missed home, I missed my family and my best friend. If Leah were here she would have me laughing now. She insulting each of them behind their back as she helped me overcome the new fear that had arisen within me. A fear of meeting my own father because, if he was anything like these people, it would devastate me. I'd held him on a pedestal all these years because I believed he had to be better than Renée. I had thought anyone could be an improvement to her, but how wrong I had been.

I had to snap out of this. I had to get out of this mind-set these people had put me into. They had managed to get under my skin and hit a nerve, and I hated them for it. I had never doubted myself before.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward toward the basin, turning on the cool stream of water from the faucet and cupping my hands so I could splash the liquid on my face. I didn't want them to see how much they were affecting me.

I changed quickly, applying a little mascara and lipstick while I was there. My hair was helpless so I threw it up, bending it over and leaving it in a mess atop my head. It would have to do for now. It wasn't as though I could take a shower before he got home.

I had never spent so much time on my appearance before, and it still didn't feel like enough. They'd managed to make me feel so paltry that I was second guessing everything. I knew how Leah would deal with it; I would even go as far as to admit I knew what she would say. Why was I letting them bother me?

Was it because I was here alone? Because they seemed to know me while I was oblivious? Because I didn't have my best friend with me to stop me from second guessing everything I did?

I had to stop this. I had to stop sitting in this tiny room feeling sorry for myself because there was nothing I could do about it now. I was in Carlisle Cullen's house. I had to cancel the pity party and walk out there with my head up.

Happy with my Leah-worthy pep talk, I took one last deep breath, opened the door, and stepped out into the foyer again.

"Izzy," Emmett said, his voice reaching me before my eyes could find him. He was sitting on the stairs, obviously waiting for me to come out of the bathroom. "I'm sorry, I thought you were fucking around. I really didn't mean to upset you. Tell me what happened?"

What was he asking? Why I had decided to come now? Why I had decided to break the silence of ten years? I didn't know, but I had one answer to give him. I only had one reason. "Mamére died."

Emmett eyed me for a second, obviously still trying to determine whether I was telling the truth or not. I could see that he wanted to believe me. It was there, so clear behind his blue eyes, as he searched mine. It took him a while to answer me; he even went as far as to get up and walk toward me. He stopped only a foot away, his eyes sad as he took a deep breath.

"Iz, your Dad's mom died a long time ago."

"My mom's mother," I said sadly, taking a loaded breath. It still hurt.

"You know your mom? I thought, well Carlisle has always said that . . ."

"Said what?" I asked, curious as to why he'd needed to say anything at all.

"That she died during childbirth. It's why he married Elizabeth when you were so young."

"Oh no, Renée is alive and kicking. I wouldn't say I know her because she's off galavanting across the country ninety-nine percent of the time, but she's alive." She was the very reason I didn't know my father. Not that I would tell a relative stranger that, but it didn't stop my mind from visiting that reality, quite frequently in fact.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize you knew her."

"Emmett, I . . ." I wasn't able to finish that sentence. I wouldn't have been able to if I'd have tried.

"Isabella?"

I looked from Emmett to the front door where Carlisle stood, one hand on the frame, the other holding a medical bag. His mouth hung open with shock, and I could only assume that my expression was very close to his. My chest felt as though it were vibrating within me, my heart felt as though it was trying to escape. It was drumming in my ears with such ferocity that I think I even swayed where I stood.

It was Carlisle, my father. It was really him, and even though he looked completely shocked at my appearance, he seemed genuinely excited. I could see the smile that he couldn't form on his mouth radiating from his eyes. My eyes. They weren't the same color, mine were brown like Renée's, but they were the same shape. His were a steely grey, which I was sure could pass off as blue.

"Isabella?" Emmett asked from beside me. I was sure he was looking between Carlisle and I, but I couldn't rip my eyes off the man at the door long enough to look.

My whole life I had wondered what it would be like to meet the other half of my biological make up, and here he was. I wanted to say so much and nothing at the same time. Conflicting emotions seemed to cause a fault line down my chest. Excitement and fear, happiness and sadness. It was all too much to take in.

"Dad. Dad, will you move out of the _doorway_," a voice said from behind him, then he was jolted from his position. There, in his place, was my mirror image with blonde hair and my father's eyes.

"Holy fuck. There's two of them," Emmett said quietly from beside me.

I was a twin.

* * *

**A/N: There was a few people that figured that one out lol. I have done some shuffling with family members and such and I hope you don't mind the evil wench Carlisle is married to. Things will slowly unfold now, and even though this doesn't answer all the questions, they will be addressed soon. :)**

**Thanks to my beta and fact checker, the AWESOME Annabanana. New Orleans may have seemed different had it not been for her expertise. Thanks chick!!**

**Huge amounts of love to my pre readers, Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99. They keep me sane and stop me from deleting huge chunks, as well as jumping from proverbial ledges and hiding. Love you guys!!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, your reaction to the cliffhanger was hilarious and I do apologize for it lol. Thank you so much for taking the time out to let me know what you think, you're all awesome and I have massive love for each and every one of you!**

**Pictures and such are up on the blog privileged-fanfic. blogspot. com, as well as a link to the forum that the wonder Salix Caprea created :)**

**Much love and huge hugs ~ Weezy.**


	5. Revelations

**_All Things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer, some slithers of storyline are attributed to V.C. Andrews, and the rest comes from my noggin ;). HAPPY TUESDAY!!_**

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**Revelations**

_Breaks your knees and leaves you so  
The sun can burn you up and wear you out  
it's an angry summer  
Don't look at the past again  
The first and last has made everything new  
And you are too  
So lift your head  
And let your story be told  
**Break Your Knees by Flyleaf**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

"Carlisle, where have you been? It's almost four and our limo will arrive at six, I can't believe you took so long . . . What's the matter?"

The whole room was silent, I could even see Peter standing in the door between the living room and foyer, eyes wide as he looked between my mirror image and me. Emmett was open-mouthed beside me, his hand stuck permanently to the back of his neck, where he'd been rubbing it in the confusion of Carlisle calling me Isabella.

My mirror image, my twin, stood gawking at me. She was flawlessly dressed, her hair perfectly set, her clothes fashionable, and they fit her perfectly. I could see the shock reflected back at me, and I could only imagine I looked exactly the same.

"What the hell is going on, Carlisle?" Tanya demanded as she hit the bottom stair, her eyes flickering between me and the girl at the door. "Is this a joke?"

Carlisle seemed to jump back into life the moment Tanya's heels clicked over the hardwood floor toward the door, her blood red talons digging into his arms as his eyes flickered from me to his wife.

"Tanya, this is Isabella. My other daughter, Elizabeth's twin."

"There's two of them?" Tanya asked, sounding disgusted.

"Daddy?" Elizabeth said, tearing her eyes from me for a brief second so she could look at her Dad standing beside her. "Could you tell me why there's a girl with my face in our house?"

Emmett shifted beside me and leaned in so he was closer to me, his dimpled smile evident now. He was so close I could smell his cologne but still couldn't move as the scene unfolded around me; all I could do was watch the girl with my face, slamming her hands on her hips as she waited for Carlisle to say anything.

"I guess you were telling the truth then," Emmett chuckled, nudging my arm and making my body waver on the spot. "Sorry if I came off like an asshole, but you can see my confusion."

I nodded. What else could I say? It was starting to make a little more sense at least, but there was still the question of why they were so hostile to the girl they thought was me.

"Why don't we all go into the living room and we can figure all this out," Carlisle said, nodding toward the door where Peter was still standing, looking a little confused by the whole scene.

"But, Daddy,"

"Izzy, living room."

Izzy rolled her eyes and marched across the foyer to the living room, following Tanya and Peter. Emmett nudged me one last time and winked at me before taking off in the same direction. I still couldn't move. I just stood watching my father as he sighed and placed his case by an umbrella stand next to the door and closed it quietly.

"Isabella?"

"It's just Bella." I smiled weakly, biting back the tears that threatened to spill over again.

"Bella, are you alright? Your mom . . ."

"Mom's fine . . . I think."

"Why don't we go into the living room and see if we can't sort the chaos out?" he asked, his warm smile from the picture showing up on his handsome, but older, face. He had the same look, pride and astonishment with a sense of being overwhelmed.

I nodded and followed him into the room, making sure to keep my distance from him. The last thing I needed was to get my hopes built up. I just needed him to hear what I had to say. I had to get answers, and then if he wanted me out of his life, I would oblige.

The only problem was: I had more questions than I had the ability to ask.

A twin.

And it wasn't just a twin. She was my identical twin. She was obviously as clueless as I was when it came to my existence, which only seemed to bring a plethora of new questions streaming through my discombobulated head. Why would they hide us from one another? Why was there nothing in that folder about her? Wasn't mamére interested in her other granddaughter? It wasn't as though she wouldn't recognize her, we were identical.

I still couldn't get used to that word, even if it was an accurate description. The only difference I could see was the eyes. She had Carlisle's eyes, I had mom's eyes. Seemed quite fitting really.

The living room didn't seem to hold the answers Carlisle was looking for. There was just as much chaos reigning; it was just contained to a smaller space. Everyone was talking over everyone else. Izzy seemed to be demanding the truth from Tanya who looked just as confused and pissed off as Izzy did. Both of them turned on Carlisle the second he entered the room, firing questions at him so quickly they blended into one another. Peter and Emmett were discussing it loudly, occasionally adding their own questions and then competing to see who could be the loudest.

There was no order, no answers, just endless questions and people shouting over other people. It was too much for me, too much for anyone who wasn't in the myriad of voices all talking over one another. I wanted to cover my ears and shout at them all to be quiet, but it was pointless. It was just adding to the fire that was already well on it's way to becoming a white hot ember smoldering in the middle of the room.

How did they solve anything in this house if it was approached like this?

I backed away from the group as the voices rose, and Carlisle just seemed to quit, grasping at his hair with both hands as all four of the other fired more questions at him. My back hit the wall just as Izzy pushed Tanya and demanded to know whether she knew about this.

My hands covered my ears as the female voices spiked up an octave almost to the frequency only dogs could hear. Peter and Emmett were pushing at one another as they shouted about respect and it being earned. How it was relevant to the situation was beyond me, but the voices were blending together leaving noise in their place.

I slid down the wall as their motions seemed to slow in my foggy mind. The welcome intrusion of the couch blocking my view made me breathe easy for a second as I pulled my legs into my chest, letting my head rest on them as the muffled shouting continued.

I hadn't wanted all of this. I don't know what I had been expecting but it hadn't been this established family unit. Even though I had entertained the idea of Carlisle having a family, I had never imagined it would be quite so dysfunctional. They made Sue's family look like the Cleaver's.

I'm not exactly sure when it finally went quiet, I wasn't even sure they'd noticed I was missing for the longest time. All I knew is I had been huddled long enough for my legs to begin aching as they crushed into my ribs.

Carlisle was the the one who eventually found me, his hand gently brushing my hair from my forehead to the knot I had put it into earlier; his fingers seemed to linger within the strands as his other hand tried to pry mine from my ears. I knew it was supposed to be a calming action, but there was still a slightly maladroit feel to it, as though he wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do.

"Bella, sweetheart, it's okay."

"Carlisle, it's anything but okay," Tanya said from somewhere above him with a huff. "We have a charity Gala to attend, our limo will be here in an hour and I haven't even started on my make-up."

"Then go and do it, Tanya. It takes me five minutes to get ready."

I could hear Tanya's exasperated sigh of annoyance before she left, making the small space seem a little less crowded. For the first time since Carlisle and Izzy had appeared, I felt as though I could breathe. I let my hands slide from the sides of my head and looked up to see Carlisle's wide eyes as he smiled gently at me.

"Everyone's gone, I sent the kids to their rooms. I figured it would be better to discuss this once the shock's worn off a little. We weren't getting very far, and I'm sorry you had to see that," he said, sitting down in front of me with his back to the couch.

I continued to watch him as he struggled to get comfortable. It was almost comedic to watch this well established man sitting on his floor. I could only happen a guess that this was the first time he'd ever done this. I stayed where I was with my legs pulled tightly against my chest, happy that I had changed before all of this happened.

"I'm a twin," I mumbled, settling my chin on my knees, finally letting the word play on my lips rather than teeter on the edge of my mind. How was this even possible? How had no one ever said anything?

"Yes, I'm sorry you had to find out like this. My parents arranged it all and told me . . ."

"I was dead."

"Yes, but the minute I found out, I started writing to you and your family. Your Mamére wrote back to me telling me how sorry she was and that it had been my parents and Renée that had made all the arrangements, that she would love to see Elizabeth too. I'm not sure what happened, but not a week later, she wrote back to me, telling me to stay away."

I couldn't believe mamére had spoken to him. That she had agreed to let him see me then taken it all away. I thought back to my childhood, trying to pinpoint exactly when this would have happened. I was six, it was the year Charlie had found out he'd gotten the job in Washington State. The year Renée had refused his request to take me with him.

Of course it was my mother. Who else would have ruined my chances of having any kind of life outside of her. She'd held me there to use against Carlisle. All of the puzzle pieces slowly came together to show me the big picture.

"Renée," I sighed, my eyes finding his as he watched me mentally deducing where the change had come from.

"What about her?"

"She's the reason mamére changed her mind. When I was going through her things after she died, I found a letter addressed to me in the file that had all of your letters and information."

"Marie died?" Carlisle asked, looking saddened by the news. I hadn't really expected him to be affected, not really. How well could he know her?

"I'm sorry, I should have said."

"No, I guess I should have figured it out when the letters stopped."

"Excuse me?"

They still spoke?

How was that even possible? I'd thought all of the information about Carlisle had been in that file. Maybe I should have looked a little harder instead of stopping there. Maybe I should have searched more of her room. There was nothing in the letters I'd found from him indicating that he'd been receiving pictures. There wasn't anything indicating he'd been receiving much of anything.

"I sent her about three letters pleading to see you, she finally wrote back and asked that I stopped writing to her, that she would send me weekly updates on how you were with pictures but I had to stop writing to her and trying to see you. She never told me to stop sending you letters though, in one of her letters she explained that she was keeping them for you until the time was right, so I kept writing them."

"She wrote to you every week?"

"Yes, I have pictures, so many pictures. I needed to know you were alright. I would send her a generic letter if the pictures stopped for even a week. I called her last week after I'd heard nothing for two weeks but there was no answer."

"I've been staying with Sue," I whispered. My head was swirling with this new information. He hadn't given up on me at all. All this time he'd been waiting for me to get the letters, all this time he'd been waiting for mamére to make the next move. "You really wanted to see me?"

"Of course I did, Bella. You're my daughter. You're a part of me just like I'm a part of you. I would have done anything to see you grow up, but I had to respect Marie's wishes, she asked me to trust her, and I had no choice but to adhere to her wishes. How's your mom after losing Marie?"

"I doubt she even knows. I haven't seen her in years," I sighed. It seems as far as parents went Izzy had gotten the better deal out of the two, but I was the one lucky enough to have had Mamére and Leah all those years. I wouldn't trade that for the world.

"She's not around? I thought you said she was the reason Marie kept us apart."

"The letter that she left me said that she didn't want Renée to have the chance to blackmail you, that we would end up resenting her and each other for ruining our relationship."

I dug through my bag that was still sitting next to me and pulled out the package I had kept together since discovering it. I opened the top and pulled out the whole file before shuffling through it and pulling out the embossed envelope I had read over and over again, trying to find more meaning between the words laid bare on the page. I handed it to Carlisle and leaned back against the wall as he opened it.

He read through a few times before folding it neatly and placing it back in the envelope. He shuffled closer towards me and nodded at the envelope I was now clutching against my legs as they were blocking my chest.

"What do you have there?"

"It's everything she kept about you, all of your letters are in there, and I have your money, but I had to spend some of it to get a bus ticket."

"Bella, the money was for you. I would have sent more but I didn't even know if you were getting the letters."

I nodded and placed the thick envelope on the floor by my feet. I still had so many questions but they were so jumbled in my head with all of the new information - like me having a twin. I tried to organize the chaos in my head, so I could clear some things up at least.

"Tell me what you're thinking about."

"I had so many questions for you, but I'm drawing a blank. everything's swirling around in my head in a giant ball of nothing. It's frustrating."

Carlisle laughed and shifted closer, picking up my hands in his. I could see his genuine smile radiating from him and making the tiniest of creases at the edge of his eyes. He made me feel more comfortable than I had expected.

"You don't have to ask them all now. How about I take you up to the guest room. I have to do this thing tonight, but I only have a couple of appointments tomorrow. Maybe you and I can go to lunch and talk it out before we try the group thing with the crazies again."

_I would love to_.

"I really can't put you out like that," I said instead, knowing that it was impolite to impose on them like that. Not to mention the fact that I really needed to talk to Sue and Leah, and I couldn't do that in this house with everyone around.

"I insist, I'm not having my seventeen year old daughter staying in a hotel when I have a perfectly good room for her to use in my own house. It's too easy to get into trouble in this city," he insisted, watching me closely to see if he'd stepped over the mark.

I tried not to smile at him with the excitement that was emanating from the inside out, but the minute my lips curled into a smile, I knew I hadn't succeeded. How was it even possible that he was this nice of a guy? I had so much I wanted to say, but I knew he was right, I needed to take a breath and just catch up with myself before I could even figure out my thoughts.

I also needed to talk to Sue and Leah.

"Umm, could I possibly use your phone please? I didn't tell Sue I was leaving and my best friend's currently covering for me just in case I had to catch the bus home tonight."

"You want me to talk to her? If she's like most parents, I can imagine she's not only worried sick, but she'll want to make sure that you're telling the truth."

I giggled at his rationalization. Sue trusted me implicitly, aside from this little trip, I hadn't really put a foot out of line my entire life. It seemed strange that he'd immediately assume that.

"What's tickled you?"

"Nothing," I grinned, uncurling my arms from the death grip around my legs and instead crossing them and settling them on top of my knees. "Sue trusts me, but I'm sure she'll appreciate you talking to her. She's pretty protective of me so she may set some rules down for you too."

"Would it placate you to know it would give me peace of mind. I just want her to know that I'll look after you while you're here."

I nodded and took the phone he'd just pulled from his suit pocket. Weird didn't seem to cover it, I was here, with Carlisle Cullen, my father, in his huge mansion, using his phone to call Sue so he could tell her he'd look after me. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever expected this to happen.

I dialed Sue's number and waited patiently for Leah to answer the phone, knowing she would be on stand by if Seth hadn't already escaped and ratted me out.

"Hello?"

"Lee, it's Bella," I whispered, even though Carlisle was sitting right next to me.

"Oh thank God. Seth is pissing me off. You okay?"

"I'm . . ." I smiled at Carlisle. " . . . really good actually. Is your mom around?"

"Uh do you think you could spare a moment for your best friend to tell her what the hell's going on first," Leah huffed into the phone. "I mean I have been covering for you all day. Jacob and Seth almost got into fisticuffs, and wouldn't you know it, every man and his dog has asked for you today. I think I deserve a little insight into your day."

"Well, um Dr. Cullen just wanted to let your mom know that I'm here and I'll be staying the night. I promise I'll tell you everything later," I said quickly, hoping I didn't sound too juvenile.

"Are you serious?" she squealed into the phone. "You better call me the second you're alone. I want to know everything."

"I will," I laughed, ducking my head to hide the blush I knew was staining my cheeks.

"K, love you, bitch."

"Love you back."

The line went silent, apart from muffled questions I could only imagine came from Seth or Jacob.

"Lee?" Carlisle mouthed.

"Sue's daughter. She's my best friend."

He nodded and seemed to shake his head in disbelief.

"Bella?"

"Sue, please don't be upset with me, I forced Leah to take me to the bus station, I know I should have called here first but . . ."

"Bella, what are you talking about?"

"I'm in New Orleans."

"You're what?" she asked, her voice growing more stern than I'd ever heard it in my life.

"In New Orleans. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before, I just had to do this on my own. I needed to know."

"Why didn't you talk to me?" she asked, exasperated. "Do you need us to come get you?"

"No, ma'am. Carlisle has invited me to stay the night so we can talk about this a little more. He's right here, he wanted to talk to you."

The long pregnant pause made me nervous, and I tried to hide my cringe. Sue had never been upset at me before, and I didn't want that to change now. I was hoping she would understand, I was hoping she would give me a pass for lying to her for the first time.

"I understand, but you could have come to me. You know you can tell me anything, Bells, I just don't know why you had to be so secretive about it. We'll talk about that when you get home. Put Dr. Cullen on the phone."

"Yes ma'am."

I handed the phone to Carlisle and offered him a smile of encouragement. Sue could be a fire cracker from hell when she wanted to be, and I hoped her momma bear side wouldn't scare him away. She had as much to do with bringing me up as mamére had; she was my surrogate mother, and we had a mutual respect for one another. To her, I was another one of her kids.

"Hello, Sue," Carlisle offered in a polite professional tone.

He sat quietly listening to whatever she seemed to be saying, adding a _yes ma'am_ and _I understand_'s at sporadic intervals. There wasn't a whole lot of information I could get from that, but I could only imagine what she was saying on the other end of the line.

"Of course," he said, smiling. "I promise I will take good care of her. It was nice talking to you again, Sue. It's been a long time . . . and you. Goodbye."

Carlisle flipped the phone closed and laughed, shaking his head, causing his blond hair to wave slightly.

"You were right. She trusts you," he laughed. "But I am under strict orders to keep you safe."

"That's Sue," I sighed, picking up the envelope from the floor and pushing it into the bag beside me. "Are you sure no one else will mind me . . ."

"Carlisle Cullen. You have twenty minutes to get ready. No husband of mine will be attending a charity event without a shower. Do you hear me?"

"Yes dear," he shouted before lowering his voice. "The whole garden district heard you."

I could feel my eyes widen as he winked at me.

"Come on, I'll show you your room then I need to jump in the shower. Maybe then my wife will stop nagging."

He stood up first, offering me his hand so he could pull me to my feet. I picked up my bag and followed him out of the living room and up the stairs. My eyes scanned everything as we made our way through the house. Everything had a place here, the huge ornamental pictures and Wedgewood nick nacks seemed to fit in with the design and finishes. It was breath taking in some aspects, gawdy in others. I was so interested in the things around me, I almost walked into him when he stopped ahead of me. He opened a door on the landing that revealed another set of stairs. There was a huge attic at the top that led to each of the Gables; all of them with window seats under them, drinking in the natural light. It was, of course, my first inclination to think about how perfect they were for reading spots.

A king sized bed sat in the middle of the room with a dresser and an old carved wardrobe sitting in another corner. There were no words for how amazing this loft was. On the other side of the stairs, there appeared to be a lounge with a TV and cable box of it's own.

Carlisle looked around the space before turning back to me with a warm smile.

"Right, a couple things before I head out. You have your own bathroom over there. The closet is tiny which is why we have the wardrobe in here, and it's zoned air, so if you get hot or cold the controls are right over here," he said walking towards a small white box on the wall. "I'm going to get dressed before Tanya has apoplexy, I'll come and check on you before we head out okay?"

I nodded, unable to form words in my astonishment. This area alone was at least half the size of mamére's house. If I was being honest, I was about to push him out so I could explore.

"There's a library in my study, or if you prefer, there's the television. It's a little small, we've been meaning to put a bigger one in here for a while now. Feel free to explore if you like, I will try and come back up before we leave."

"Thanks, Carlisle."

"What for?"

"Being so welcoming, I honestly didn't know how you were going to react. I'd prepared myself for pretty much anything." I said, my hands clasping together as I anticipated his response. I didn't want to offend him now.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Bella," he said, stepping forward and awkwardly patting me on the shoulder. "I'm so glad you decided to come and find me."

I nodded and stepped away, letting him get on with what he needed to do. Mrs. Cullen had already been more than willing to throw the inconvenience of my appearance in his face, and I really didn't want to cause him any more problems.

The moment the door clicked at the bottom of the stairs, I ran toward the bed and jumped, launching myself onto it like I was a five year old. The comforter and blankets hugged my body as I bounced on the mattress a little more. I sunk into the bed, enjoying the sheer comfort of it as I stared at the beamed ceiling above me. The leaf-looking fan hung down from one of the huge peaks and spun lazily, blowing cool air on my body.

I felt like a kid in a candy store as I hopped off the bed, I didn't know what to do next. I wandered toward the bathroom and almost squealed with joy. I don't know what I'd been expecting, but the claw foot tub with the rain like shower head built directly in the ceiling at the center hadn't been it.

I knew one thing, the second I got a chance I would be taking a shower in that thing, and I knew I would enjoy every last second of it.

I spent a little more time investigating my room for the night, opening doors and drawers, and laughing at the "small" closest Carlisle had referred to. The thing was huge, it was certainly big enough to put a twin bed in it and still have room for a night stand.

"Bella?" Carlisle called from the room.

I spun around and tripped over my own feet as I attempted to head back to where his voice was projecting from. I landed in a pile on the closet floor, giggling at my inability to operate the two feet I had.

"Bella," Carlisle called out a little more frantically.

"Coming," I shouted, as the closet door opened. I looked up and grinned in embarrassment at Carlisle. "This is probably a good time to mention how much of a klutz I am."

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, sir," I laughed, hopping up onto my feet and finally looking at the man in front of me. He was standing in a black tux with a red bow tie, cummerbund and handkerchief looking like a more suave and debonair version of James Bond. "You look amazing."

Carlisle chuckled and bowed his head as he led the way out of the closet. He turned to face me as I pushed the door closed behind me and hit the light switch. I clasped my hands behind my back, unsure of what to do with them after the "amazing" comment.

"I hate these monkey suits, they're uncomfortable," he said, looking up and offering me a smile.

"You look great," I offered, toning down my last effort. Great wasn't the right word but I didn't want to embarrass him again.

"Thank you, I brought you up a phone so you could call your friend and Sue if you wanted to. Just hit one of the buttons on the side that isn't lit up in red. Your extension is twenty-three, so if they want to call you directly they can."

"You have twenty three phones in your house?"

"No," Carlisle laughed, fiddling with his bow tie. "I think we have fourteen or something like that but we skipped over one through nine. It was easier to remember that way."

Yeah because there was a huge difference between fourteen and twenty-three.

"Tanya hates people shouting, so she can just dial an extension and get you that way."

"So I should have dialed your extension when I fell over in the closet?" I grinned.

"You're a quick learner," Carlisle laughed, and reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. "Before I forget, take this credit card. All the take out menu's are in the kitchen drawer next to the refrigerator. No two people like the same thing in this house so you have to fend for yourself I'm afraid. Here's my business card too, just incase you need me. My cell number's on there."

Was he serious? A credit card? I was his daughter sure, but other than Sue's testament, he couldn't know that I was trustworthy. Did they really have that much money that they could hand someone a credit card and cut their losses if it was never returned? Even though there was never any way in hell I could do that to him, I still had to decline the offer. It was entirely too much responsibility.

"It's okay, I still have most of the money from the cards. I'll use that."

"You don't have to do that. It was meant for you to spend on something nice for yourself."

I ducked my head for a second, trying to find a way to turn him down without offending him.

"Sorry, this must be so overwhelming for you," he said, realizing his mistake.

I shrugged and looked up at him, worried that I had hurt his feelings in some way. I was relieved to see him smiling down at me.

"It's just a lot to take in."

"I can appreciate that," he offered.

Then the phone in my room chirped. "Carlisle, the limo's here."

Carlisle rolled his eyes and grinned at me. "I have to go, don't let the others overwhelm you. I'm just a phone call away."

"Yes sir."

"Have a good night, I'll see you in the morning."

"Night, Carlisle, have fun."

Carlisle gave me a beaming smile before backing away and heading down the stairs, leaving me alone in the huge room, of this huge house, with siblings I had only just met.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry I am a little later this week, I took vacation and I slept in ;) . . . I know it doesn't answer half the questions Bella had, but I promise we're getting to that. Being so overwhelmed, I think everyone needed to take a step back :)**

**Thanks to my awesome beta, Annabanana, who stops me looking completely illiterate lol. You're awesome chick thank you.**

**Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99, thank you for being not only awesome pre-readers but amazing friends!! I don't know what I would do without you guys!!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviews. You have no idea how much your comments and questions help me out. You guys make me smile and giggle and really think about the characters and I love you for it.**

**As always, info is up on the blog privileged-fanfic. blogspot. com, as well as the chapter songs :)**

**Much love and huge hugs~Weezy~**


	6. Invitations

_**All Things Twilight Belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, some ideas come from V.C. Andrews, and the rest well my strange mind came up with it lol :) Happy Tuesday!!**_

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**Invitations**

_But here's a helping hand_  
_ A voice that's far too close_  
_ And I am up and on my broken limbs  
**Disaster Button - Snow Patrol**_

_**

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I looked around the room and took in a deep breath. I didn't know what to do with myself. I'd never been in a house like this before, let alone been in a house like this unsupervised. And with three other teens in the house to boot.

I went to the window that I knew looked down to the front of the house and watched as the long black car pulled away from the curb. It was so well polished, the rays of the sun bounced from it, sending prisms of light into my eyes, making me squint. I was amazed at how different life here was.

I knew immediately what I wanted to do first. There was a shower with my name on it, and I was determined to venture in there before I went home, which I knew could be as soon as tomorrow. It would be nice to spend some time with the father I'd never known, but Leah was right, summer was drawing to a close and it would only be a matter of time before we had to go back to school, and until I turned seventeen.

I wandered into the huge bathroom and stared at the shower head implanted into the ceiling. It was just a rectangular looking box, but I knew what would come out of there was sure to be pure heaven after the day I'd had. I turned on the water and stepped back, giggling at the sight in front of me. It really did look like rain. Sheets of water fell innocently, hitting the porcelain with a rhythmic patter, reminding me of the summer rain on the roof of our house.

I made my way back to where I'd dropped my bag when we got here and picked out everything I needed before heading back into the bathroom to take one of the most luxurious showers I'd ever had in my life. I'd been reluctant to get out, but after an hour of standing under the falling water, my skin was starting to resemble one of the prunes Leah's pawpaw loved so much.

Even the towels in this house were fluffy and thick, much better than the threadbare ones I'd been using for years. I'd thought Sue's were a luxury, this was simply divine.

When I finally ventured out of the towel and into the shorts and shirt I'd brought to sleep in, I sat by the phone and pulled my brush through my hair as I watched the red lights flashing on the face of the phone. Three lights to be exact, and I could only imagine that Emmett, Peter and Izzy were on the phone to their friends, telling them about me.

Ironically, I was about to do the same thing myself. It still seemed so unreal to me, like reality had become suspended in that one second and seeing Carlisle had made my mind snap and so my brain had to compensate. Yet that wasn't reality; the fact was, I had a twin and I still hadn't sat still long enough to let it sink in.

Part of me was terrified to call Leah because I knew, the moment I told her, it would be real. Telling Leah was like admitting it to myself, and I still wasn't sure if I was ready to process that yet. Meeting Carlisle had been taxing enough.

The brush tapped to a non-existent tune against my thigh as I tried to think of a way I could tell Leah without her freaking out. I knew she'd have questions, this was Leah after all; I just wasn't sure how to answer them. I hadn't said a word to the girl while we were downstairs, and before that, I hadn't thought to ask about her because I didn't know she existed.

Putting it off wasn't helping anything. I knew every minute I waited Leah would become more and more impatient, and hardwired to her impatience was her temper. I really wasn't mentally equipped to deal with that right now.

I threw the brush to the side, picked up the phone and dialed the number, only to get a squawking in my ear from the phone.

Typical.

I hung up the phone and picked up the receiver again, this time hitting one of the non-flashing buttons before dialing the number I knew so well.

I had a feeling this was going to be one of the strangest conversations of my life, and as I took a deep breath, I could feel my heart flutter in my chest. I was nervous. Of what, I didn't know, but I knew this feeling well. It was the same one I got when I did something I wasn't sure about. Something I knew I could easily be reprimanded for. The only difference was, this time I hadn't done anything, this was all out of my control.

"Clearwater residence," Seth said into the phone. His voice reminded me of home and how much I missed it, his pronunciation told me he was teasing Leah.

"What do you have in your room, Seth?"

"Oh fuck!"

"Seth Harold Clearwater! What have I told you about your language?" I heard Sue yell in the background before the shuffling of the headset and the "Ow, sorry mom."

"Hello?"

"Hey, bitch."

"Whore!"

"Leah," Sue warned in the background before her voice faded away to mumbling.

"You'd think she'd be used to it by now," Leah sighed, sounding as though she was getting comfortable. "Oh well, maybe another sixteen years, and she'll be resigned to our nicknames."

"Not likely, but I won't stand in the way of your dreams," I laughed, falling back onto the bed and bending my knees.

"Thanks, I have such high aspirations and all," she laughed. "So how are you? What have you been doing? And tell me everything, do not spare the gory details. Is he a Doctor Kevorkian type?"

"Oh God, you're so twisted."

"What? It's a completely reasonable question."

"In your head, Lee, nobody else's," I said, laughing, my fingers picking at the hem of my shorts where they sat on my thigh.

"You're stalling," she accused, a hint of humor in her voice because she knew me too well; she also knew I wouldn't deny it. "Spill."

"I'm not sure I know how to," I confessed, digging my toes into the down comforter I was laying on. It was typical of me to fiddle when I didn't know how to say something.

"It can't be that bad, can it? Seriously just spit it out. This is me."

Spit it out. Pull it off like a band aid, probably the best policy at this point.

"I'm a twin."

There was nothing but silence reciprocating the statement.

"Lee?"

Her laughter filled the phone line after that, and I knew I'd have to wait for it to subside before I could tell her it was the truth. The laughter went loud and quiet as she tried to gather herself together enough to come back at me.

"Leah," I said again, trying to get her attention.

"Ok, you got me there. You're such an ass, Bella."

"I'm being straight up. I have an identical twin, her name is Elizabeth and they call her Izzy."

"Yeah, joke's over numb nuts."

"I swear to you, on everything. I. Am. A. Twin."

There was another silent pause, but this time I knew there was no laughter, this was her thinking about the possibilities, calculating whether I was telling the truth or not.

"Identical?"

"Well she has blonde hair and gray eyes."

"Blonde?"

"I suspect it's dyed though," I replied, thinking about it.

"Two Bella's. I think that freaks me out a little bit, but Seth is going to have a field day with this new information."

"That's sick."

"Thank you," she laughed, proud of her accomplishment. "Which reminds me, what did you say to him to make him drop the f-bomb in front of mom?"

"I asked him what he had in his room."

"You're an evil genius."

"I learned from the best."

Leah laughed again quietly. "Ok, now tell me everything. Are there anymore kids? How's Carlisle? Is Izzy nice? Are you the good or evil twin? What happened when you got there?"

"I have two step-brothers, Carlisle seems really nice, I haven't said a word to Izzy, I don't know, and it's a long story."

"Good thing I have all night to hear it then isn't it."

I laughed and launched into the story, starting with getting off the bus in New Orleans, leaving out nothing as I explained everything that had happened to me during the course of the day. The subject of Tanya didn't go to the wayside either. Leah wasn't impressed with her attitude.

"So you're going to come home tomorrow?"

"Seems that way. I have lunch with Carlisle, but there are no plans past that."

"I miss you, Bells. There's no one here to have a laugh with, and Seth's pouting, and Jacob says that I'm acting weird."

"You always act weird, Lee."

"Ha fucking ha. I won't be telling him you said that because he'll only agree with you."

"If it's any consolation, I miss you too. You wouldn't believe how many times I wished you were here with me."

"Would now be a good time to hit you with 'I told you so'?"

"You're insufferable," I laughed, twisting the phone cord around my finger.

"It's why you love me."

There was a quiet knock on my door that I would have missed had it not been during a lull in the conversation. One thing about Leah and I, once we got going, nothing could penetrate the conversation between us.

"There's somebody at the door, Lee, I'll be right back."

Before I put the phone on the bed, Leah started singing there's somebody at the door to no apparent tune. I couldn't contain the laugh as I headed down the stairs to the door at the bottom. I pulled it open without much thought, the smile still wide on my lips.

I was greeted with a pizza box under my nose, the pizza coincidentally attached to a grinning Emmett.

"I come bearing gifts and an apology."

"Pizza! How did you know, Emmett?" I laughed, turning around and leaving the door open for him to follow me in.

"Let's call it a good guess." He laughed, kicking the door shut behind him and following me up.

I skipped over to the bed and picked up the handset again, grinning at Emmett.

"Hey, Lee, I gotta go. I'll call you later."

"Who is it?"

"Later."

"Fine! But I still have more questions. Love you, bitch."

"Love ya back, whore," I laughed and hung up the phone. Emmett was watching me with his head cocked to the side and his eyebrows raised in question. The pizza box balanced in one hand while the other held a small bag with sodas.

"You came prepared didn't you."

"I was a boy scout," he said, tossing the pizza box at me.

I almost fell flat on my face as I tried to catch it; I guess he hadn't been informed about my lack of coordination. Who threw pizzas anyway?

"I'm hoping that was your friend on the phone," he chuckled, falling into the sofa. "I'd hate to think you spoke to your elders that way."

"It was my best friend, and who are you, my father?"

He laughed again, throwing his head back against the couch as the sound filled the room. "I think I could get used to having you around. You're entertaining."

"Glad I could oblige," I said, sitting down next to him and opening up the box. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until the smell hit me. My stomach rolled and clenched as the prospect of food seemed to loom on the near horizon.

Without further ado, I picked up a slice and took a bite, almost humming in delight as the amalgamation of flavors danced on my taste buds. While trying to think of the last thing I ate, I realized that it had been this morning at home. Leah had been asking me to rethink what I was doing, and I had been begging her to understand while jamming poptarts down my throat so we could hit the road.

"You like it?" Emmett asked, an amused smirk on his lips as he watched me chew.

I nodded, I may have a foul mouth but I did have manners.

"Ok, it's official. You're my new favorite person in this house."

I swallowed the mouthful I had turned in my seat to face Emmett, while placing the box between us. "I am? What tipped the scale for ya?"

"You eat the same pizza as I do. No one can stomach the pizzas I have them make, and you didn't even blink. That combined with your quick wit . . . I am sold. Welcome."

"Thanks, I think."

I took another bite and sat back into the couch. Emmett reminded me of Jacob in some ways, and it made me feel a little bit more comfortable with him. Especially now there was no confusion as to who I was.

We ate in relative silence, Emmett occasionally firing off questions when he didn't have his mouth full. I was surprised to see the box empty in record time and had to fight the blush that threatened to rise at my hand to mouth ratio with the pizza eating. Emmett had eaten a lot more than I had, but I'd still made a pig of myself.

"I really am sorry, by the way," Emmett said, cracking open a can of soda and taking a mouthful. "I really thought you were Izzy, but I couldn't understand the sincerity that seemed to exude from you. I was starting to think you had amnesia or some shit."

"I thought that I was going mad. Or worse, that Carlisle had warned you against me. I just couldn't understand where he'd have gotten his information from. I mean sure I'm not perfect, but I'm not that evil, maniacal bitch you were making me out to be."

"Yeah, sorry about that, I really thought you were Izzy."

"She can't be that bad, Emmett. I mean, I know I haven't really talked to her at all, but she does share my genes."

"That's about all she shares. Look, I'm not trying to paint you a picture or tell you to make up your mind now, but Izzy is bad news. I get along with her but keep her at arms length because she can turn on you in an instant. I know you're curious, I can't even imagine what it must be like to have an identical twin you never knew existed, all I'm saying is don't be too quick to put all of your faith into her."

"She's really that bad?"

"She's the worst kind of brat, and you seem like a nice kid. If you want to do the twin thing with her, just . . . I dunno, be careful."

"Thanks, Emmett."

"Anytime," he grinned before launching into some of Izzy's more creative escapades.

I couldn't believe she was as bad as he made her out to be. It was obvious the three boys I had met in the street disliked her intensely, why when they'd thought I was her they were happy to leave me flat on my ass. I would take Emmett's words into account and be careful around my sister, but I had to at least give her a chance.

Sister. It was just too weird.

The word rolled around in my mind as I tried to let it sink in. Sixteen years of being an only child, if you didn't count the relationship I'd had with Leah; it was hard to deter that frame of mind, and I knew I would at least have to allow her the same courtesy of coming to terms with this.

"So Bella, how long are you going to be with us?"

"Not sure yet. It looks as though I'm having lunch with Carlisle tomorrow, but past that, I'm not sure. My best friend misses me though."

"So where is it exactly that you're from? All I heard was a whole lot of screaming down there."

"Bayou Teche, it's close to New Iberia, " I said with a smile. "Just a small community, you know the kind, everyone knows everybody else. There's little to no crime, beautiful."

"It sounds nice enough. I never really thought about it before. I don't venture out of New Orleans much, the only time I do I'm on a plane going somewhere. It's sad really. I've lived in this State my whole life and only ever seen two cities."

"You're missing out then," I grinned.

"I guess I am - maybe I can come see you soon," he grinned, nudging me again. "If we can't convince you to stay."

"I think you may just convince me, even if it is only for the use of your towels," I giggled, hiding my face at my lame attempt at a joke. I looked up again slowly, my bottom lip between my teeth as I tried to maintain some semblance of normalcy. "I haven't really had a chance to talk to Carlisle or Izzy. I don't want to put anyone out."

"Are you kidding? It would be nice to have someone I can actually communicate with around here."

"How do you know I'm not some raging lunatic?"

"I don't," he laughed. "But it could be fun if you are."

I raised my eyebrows and laughed again. I hated to admit it, but the guy I had thought was infuriating was actually highly entertaining and friendly. I was glad there was someone other than Carlisle in this house who was welcoming. I hadn't spoken to any of them since they figured out who I was, but if this was a sign of how I was going to be received, Emmett's actions had spoken volumes.

"So how did you find your Dad? Sixteen years seems like a long time to wait."

"The choice was out of my hands, really," I sighed, looking down at the loose thread on my shorts. "I was told that no one knew who he was, so I couldn't go looking for a name. When mamére died, Sue told me that mamére had known my father all along, and Sue was sure she'd had a file on him so that one day . . . well, one day _this_ could happen."

"So you found the letters?"

"I did," I said, getting up and stumbling forward, eliciting a laugh from Emmett. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, big guy. It would be nice of you to have some sympathy for the gravitationally challenged."

"How did I ever mistake you for Izzy?"

"There are similarities," I said, pointing to my face like Vanna White points to letters. "You're forgiven for your misapprehension."

I made my way to my bag and dug through it, pulling out the letters in the bundle. They were in one tall stack now rather than the two that mamére had put them in. I wasn't planning on showing them to anyone but Carlisle while I was here, so I put them back in the bag before heading back to the couch with the rest of the contents.

"What's that?"

"Well, I was wondering if you recognize . . ." I rifled through the stacks of paper in the folder I had partially pulled out of the envelope and found the object I was looking for easily. "This?"

I handed him the picture of Carlisle in the hospital and watched his face flicker through several different emotions before landing on - well, nothing in particular.

"I think, and I say think because I really don't know, but I think that's Carlisle and Izzy."

"Why do you say that?"

He looked between me and the picture several times before an apologetic smile broke across his face. It was then that I figured out his hesitance to answer.

"You're not going to offend me, Emmett," I laughed, watching as he visibly relaxed into the couch again. I hadn't meant to make him uncomfortable. I had just been curious as to whether today had been the only time he'd ever met me. Especially considering he'd believed I was dead for the first six years of life.

"It's the eyes," he said simply, handing me back the photo. "You have different colored eyes. I should have noticed it sooner, but it's not like I sit gazing into Izzy's eyes all that much."

I pulled the picture out of his hand and studied it a little more.

It was a tiny detail, tiny and not at all obvious, but it was there. The light eyed baby in Carlisle's arms, my sister.

"I never noticed that before," I said, staring at it with a little more intensity than I really needed. It wasn't as though it was that unbelievable, and it also answered the question of whether she dyed her hair or not. "So she dyes her hair?"

"Every month, mom can't stand the roots," he chuckled, rolling his eyes. "So, do you have any other brothers or sisters?"

"No." I laughed. "I wasn't lying when I said I hadn't seen Renée in a while. It could be a possibility, I guess, but she's the kind of person who would drop the baby off with us so she wouldn't have to "deal" with it."

"There's no way she could have changed?"

I thought about it and what it would mean if he was right. What if Renée did have another family? What if she was able to be a mother to someone who wasn't me? I didn't even know how to feel about that. I couldn't stand being that person, the thorn in her side when she'd been mine for most of my life. It was a possibility.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you think about that. It was kinda shitty of me. You're probably right. By the sounds of it, she's too selfish to look after anyone other than herself."

"It's fine. It just never crossed my mind before. It kinda puts things into perspective."

"That's my cue to exit," Emmett laughed, his eyes apologetic.

"You don't have to go, Emmett."

"Shucks, I'm honored you want to keep me around."

I rolled my eyes as the high-spirited guy I'd first met came back to the forefront, his dimpled smile making me feel better as the quip sunk in.

"I retract that last statement then."

Emmett laughed, stretching before he picked up the empty box and the bag of sodas. He stepped over my legs, giving me a smile as he reached the top of the stairs. He stopped a couple steps down and turned around so he was looking at me again.

"You should think about staying, Bella. It's been kinda nice to have someone to talk to."

"There're two other people downstairs, and then your mom and Carlisle."

"You have a lot to learn," he smirked, shaking his head in disbelief. "If you decide to leave tomorrow, don't forget to come say goodbye."

"I won't," I promised.

"Night."

"Night."

I listened to him heading down the stairs, only moving when the door clicked closed at the bottom. I headed toward the huge fluffy bed in the middle of the room and slid under the down comforter, pulling it up to my chin as I shuffled to the middle of the bed so I could feel the fan beating down on me directly.

It had been one of the longest days in my life, yet I found it hard to settle down long enough for sleep to find me. It was quiet here. Too quiet. I was used to the sound of the bayou being the soundtrack of my life as the crickets chirped along with the other sounds of the swamp surrounding our homes.

I tried to shut off my brain as I lay in the darkness, listening to the unfamiliar sounds of the city surrounding me. I knew sleep would come eventually, and it did, pulling me into the black abyss of unconsciousness where only the dreams could find me.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if you were expecting the Conversation between Bella and Carlisle lol. I just had to establish an ally for Bella so she didn't feel completely uncomfortable in a strange house. Emmett, having realized his mistake, has opened up a little bit and given some answers :) Not all of them are accurate though ;).**

**Thank you to my wonderful Beta, Annabanana, who makes pretty rainbows over the page and makes my writing better, as well as more accurate.**

**Thank you miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99, for being awesome cheerleaders and plot bunnies, and for keeping me sane. You ladies are awesome and I love you!!!**

**Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews. I love seeing what you have to say and how you feel about the characters :) You're all amazing and you inspired me every day. I love you guys.**

**That being said :) ~ Much Love and huge Hugs ~ Weezy!**

**P.S. Vicki, I love ya girl. Hope you feel better :)**


	7. Lunch

_**All Things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer . . . some ideas stem from the intriguing mind of V.C. Andrews, and the rest of the insanity comes from moi!!!! Happy Tuesday ;)**_

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**Lunch**

_She took the offer to be the daughter _  
_We pledge allegiance to the one who offers social graces _  
_Please don't blame me, Please don't blame me _  
_'Cause I'm in over my head, _  
_In over my head _  
_It's for the best **  
Over My Head - Furslide**_

_**

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**_

Considering how long it had taken me to fall asleep, I woke up at an ungodly hour. One that Mr. Uley's roosters would have been crowing to, had I been at home.

Had I been at home.

That's when the realization sank in, and there was no getting back to sleep. It all came flooding back to me the moment the thought hit me. I was in Carlisle Cullen's home, miles away from my family, the people I had grown up with.

I wasn't sure what disturbed me, but I could hear voices on the floor below as people moved around and got ready for the day. It seemed as though it was business as usual, yesterday was just a blip in their daily schedule, not leaving a lasting impression on most of them. Or, maybe I was just being self absorbed, maybe I was making assumptions about them. I had been the one to step in unannounced. It wasn't as though they'd come into existence because I had discovered them.

The huge yawn rode up my chest, making me drag in the clean cool air that surrounded me; it filled my lungs as my jaw clicked quietly with the force behind the action. I was convinced it was my body's way of telling me it was entirely too early to do anything but go back to sleep.

Emmett's muffled laughter from the floor below was almost contagious as it put a smile on my lips. If nothing else, last night had made me a friend, and I was glad he was the first person I had really spoken to in the house. He'd made me feel welcome. I hoped the others would be just as friendly, even though Emmett had all but said Izzy wouldn't be happy about my presence.

Why were they awake? There was only a week and a half left of summer.

Had I been at home, I would have still been passed out not even aware that there were two sevens in a day, let alone two sixes; but here they were, up and about, cat-calling and throwing what sounded like insults around. I would never have gotten back to sleep knowing they were all early risers. It was enough to make me look forward to going back home.

I stretched out in the huge bed, trying to will myself out from the cocoon I had made for myself. I knew it was impolite to sleep in while everyone else was up and I didn't want to make a bad impression. It didn't mean I wasn't tempted to roll over and close my eyes again.

I growled at myself and threw the covers off, rolling out of the bed until my feet hit the cool wood planks of the floor. Still reluctant, and still half asleep, I made my way to the stairs.

I managed to wake up by the time I hit the first floor and realized I had no idea where the kitchen was. I ventured toward the back of the house, figuring that it was more than likely located there. Thankfully, just before I took a wrong turn, Emmett's booming laughter rang out like a beacon in the dark, guiding me the rest of the way so I didn't end up in an office or some other obscure room.

I approached the door quietly and peered inside, watching as they all seemed to go about their normal routines. Emmett was by the range top stove, frying bacon and eggs on the cast iron grille that was built into the middle of it. Peter was arguing with him about how he was cooking it, leaning over and trying to steal the spatula from him so he could show him how to do it right. The only time someone even attempted to interject was when Emmett threatened Peter with a cooking utensil. That was when Tanya clucked her tongue, covered her phone with her hand and told them both to stop.

Izzy was sitting next to Carlisle on the kitchen island, picking out strawberries from her special K. It was strange really, I knew they made the cereal without the fruit, so why buy it to pick it out? It seemed pretty redundant to me, but I moved on to Carlisle, who was simply drinking coffee and reading the morning paper.

"Bella," Emmett said, making me jump and flush from being caught watching them.

My mouth opened and closed several times before I was composed enough to articulate a reply. I hadn't expected to be caught, but then I was standing at the door, gawking at them all.

"Morning," Carlisle smiled, lowering the paper. I could see Izzy beside him, looking between us as though we were aliens with four heads. "How did you sleep?"

"Very well, thank you." I smiled, stepping a little further into the room so I wasn't hovering. "The bed's very comfortable. How was your benefit?"

"Gala." Izzy corrected me, looking to her step-mother for her approval, but Tanya ignored her and continued her conversation as her finger slipped around the rim of the coffee cup in front of her.

"Gala," I corrected myself, throwing her a bone and an assuring smile; which only seemed to gain a glare as she turned back to her cereal.

"Boring," Carlisle laughed, drinking from his cup. "How was your evening?"

"Good thank you."

"Please, come in and help yourself to breakfast."

I nodded and stepped into the room as my stomach growled fiercely at the smell of the bacon frying. Still, there was one thing my body craved more than food and that was caffeine.

"You want some bacon and eggs, Bella?" Emmett asked, nodding to the cupboard as I pointed at the coffee.

"Yes, please," I said timidly, opening the door and pulling out the first mug I found. I was easy to please when it came to coffee, black, straight up. The only time I had milk in my coffee was when we drank those fancy coffees from Starbucks that cost seven bucks a pop.

"Dad, it's drinking coffee. You said . . ."

"Yes, thank you, Elizabeth. I'm aware of what I said, and her name is Bella."

They didn't let their kids drink coffee? It was no wonder she was so snappy in the mornings.

I was a piranha without my coffee. It was the one staple of my daily diet. Everyone knew that. I wasn't at home though. No one here knew me, they had no idea of my daily rituals or how I did things. Even taking all of that into account, I knew that I should adjust my behavior to their rules, considering I stayed the night under their roof.

I took a deep breath and turned to look at Carlisle again.

"Should I not . . .?"

"You're fine, Isabella."

"But . . ." Izzy said, almost bouncing in her seat in contempt.

"Elizabeth."

Izzy stopped talking but bowed her head and mumbled under her breath about the unfairness of inequalities. One pointed look from Carlisle and her volume decreased even further. I poured my coffee as Emmett handed me a plate and winked with a co-conspiratorial grin. At least someone was getting a kick out of the elephant in the room.

I sat down on the other side of Carlisle and gave him a smile. I could feel the eyes of everyone in the room watching me as I took a sip of my coffee. I wanted to sigh in joy as the bitter taste tantalized my taste buds but with an audience I forewent the coffee worship.

"Do you mind if I steal part of the paper?" I asked quietly, picking up my fork and twirling it in my fingers.

If I'd felt alienated about the coffee, it was nothing compared to their reaction of me asking for something to read over breakfast. The way even Carlisle looked at me made me feel as though I had four heads in puce. I couldn't quite figure out what the big deal was. Did none of the kids in this house read the paper?

"Sure, which section?"

"It doesn't matter really, I like to read most of it, so whatever you're finished with."

Carlisle pointed to a stack of papers in front of him and I rifled through them looking for the local news. It was always the first pages I read at home. Not that I would have complained if it hadn't been there, of course.

The room fell silent as my eyes scanned the pages of the paper. There wasn't anything interesting going on, so I let my eyes drink in the words on the page, not really seeing them as I waited for anything to go on around me. I could hear Tanya still on her phone call, chatting about some of the dresses she'd seen on people at the gala. Her nasally voice reminding me of the first time I called the house.

Beyond that there was nothing but forks on plates and the gentle crinkle of the paper as Carlisle turned the page next to me.

"Okay boys, what are your plans for the day?" Tanya said, hanging up from her call and picking up her coffee cup with both hands.

"Coach wants us in early for practice. He wants us to be ready for the first game of the season. After that, I'm going downtown with Edward and Jasper to catch a movie, maybe some gambling."

"You're hilarious, Emmett. Peter?" Tanya asked, obviously realizing that Emmett was joking.

"Going to see dad."

"All day?" she asked, her tone accusing.

"Yes, do you have a problem with that, mother?"

The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife as his question hung in the air. Tanya didn't seem phased by the way he was talking to her, but as I peeked over the paper I could see her watching him. It was as though she was waiting for the truth to jump out and make itself known. I didn't know about Peter, but I found it intimidating.

"No, just be home before ten."

"Whatever you say."

"Elizabeth?"

"You're really going to go back to the interrogations, Tanya?" she paused, as though waiting for an answer before rolling her eyes and dropping her spoon. Her head turned slowly so she could look at me before looking back to Tanya with contempt. "I was planning on laying by the pool, but now we have a _guest. _I'm going over to Jessica's."

She spat the word guest with such force it was as though she was spitting acid from her mouth. She was so hostile. I wasn't sure what I'd done to deserve it, but it came at me in waves as her grey eyes flickered back to me once again.

"I really don't want to be an inconvenience," I said, avoiding the stares that were once again on me.

"Too late for that."

"Elizabeth Marie Cullen," Carlisle warned, dropping his paper onto the counter in front of him. "Bella is a guest in this house, and you will treat her as such. I don't know where this attitude is coming from, but I brought you up better than that."

"Can I be excused?"

"Izzy."

"Please?"

Carlisle gave her a nod, but it was followed by an elongated sigh of frustration.

This was the one thing I had wanted to avoid. I didn't want to be a thorn in their side while I was here; I just needed some answers and to request Carlisle sign over guardianship of me to Sue. Then I would be out of everyone's hair, no longer a distraction or inconvenience in their daily life.

I had only been here one night, I hadn't spoken to anyone but Emmett in all that time, and my twin sister was treating me with more contempt than a stranger would have to a stray dog shitting on their yard. Wasn't she even curious about where she'd come from? Emmett had mentioned what the official story had been in passing yesterday, but finding out about me, about our pasts, wasn't she in the least bit curious?

"I'm leaving," Peter announced, pushing out his chair so it scraped across the flagstone floor.

"Well, it seems I can clear a room," I sighed, pushing the egg around the plate now that my hunger had dissipated. "I guess I should just head home."

I got up from my place next to Carlisle and headed to the sink. My eyes flickered to the window where the sparkling blue pool was catching the first rays of the morning sun, sending reflective ripples across the pristine siding of the house.

"Bella, we have lunch this afternoon," Carlisle said quietly as he got up from his chair and moved to stand beside me. His hand wavered over my shoulder awkwardly for a second before he brought it down and let it rest there. "This is new for everybody, all I ask is you stay for lunch. We can talk and discuss things then, but please don't rush home now - not when we haven't even had the chance to get to know one another."

"You should stay, Bella," Emmett said from his place at the table. I could even hear the smile in his words, as though he knew it was the perfect time for him to add his penny's worth in the conversation. "I can change my plans and hang out if you like."

"No you won't, I don't pay for that coach for you to skip, Emmett."

"Sure, mom," Emmett said, rolling his eyes, but winked at me as he got up from his place at the table. "Remember that promise to me, Bella."

"I will," I grinned, giving him a smile in return. It was quite possible he was the only person other than Leah and Jacob who could have made me smile in that one moment.

"So you'll stay for lunch?" Carlisle asked, retracting his hand slowly and letting it fall to his side.

"Yes, sir."

"I'm glad, I should be home by eleven thirty at the latest," he smiled, his hand once again fanning the air between us before he settled on patting my back softly. "Tanya, I will see you tonight. Have fun with the ladies."

He moved across the room and kissed her on the cheek before picking up his briefcase by the backdoor and pulling it open with one last look back at me. I watched him stepping out of the gate and into the garage, feeling a little bit lighter than I had since I'd gotten up. That was until Tanya rounded on me.

"You'll be in this house alone then?" she asked snidely, her hand planting itself firmly on her hip. "I suggest you keep your sticky fingers to yourself, don't think you're entitled to anything just because he's your father. If one thing is out of place when I get back, you and I will be having a chat."

I could take a lot of things from a lot of people. I had been brought up to respect my elders, but this woman was rude; it was evident she didn't like the thought of another child in the house. As much as I wanted to be friends with everyone here, they were making it increasingly difficult to do anything but resent them. Emmett and Carlisle were the only exception in this case.

I wanted to say what was on my mind in that one second her accusation hung in the air, but it wouldn't do me any good. Mamére had taught me to choose my battles, and this was one I couldn't win. The woman was a fluffy and primped trophy wife who had as much brain power as she did natural breasts. It wouldn't be a difficult task to out-wit the woman. What worried me was her manipulative nature. I could see it plain as day as her perfectly manicured nails drummed on her hip. It wasn't worth it.

"I'm not a thief, Mrs. Cullen. You don't have to worry about that."

"You think your word reassures me? You're a money grabbing brat, and I won't let you play my husband," she hissed, her eyebrows high on her head as she turned and strolled from the room with her head held high.

I bit my tongue as my retort sat in my mouth like bile; it was hard to swallow the poisoned words. I didn't like being accused of being a thief or a blackmailer, because I was neither. I didn't need a thing from these people other than Carlisle's time, and even now, I was beginning to question whether it was worth it.

My fingers gripped the edge of the sink as I let the anger bleed from my body. I couldn't do this for five hours, I couldn't let the anger mull away in my head, making me bitter and cold for my meeting with Carlisle. I had to distract myself for five hours, and I could see just the thing that would help me do that.

~*•*~

Five hours was longer than I'd thought it was. I'd been floating in the pool for a good hour and a half before I got out. Then I lay in the sun for forty-five minutes, waiting for it to dry me. Then I was bored. I took another shower and threw on shorts until I had to get ready for lunch.

With so much time on my hands, I got restless easily. I'd always had someone around growing up. Whether it was Leah, Jacob, Seth, or even mamére, I'd never spent much time alone. I found the ringing silence disconcerting and decided to busy myself by exploring the house. I wandered around the rooms of the mansion and finally realized what Tanya had been so worried about.

Everything they owned seemed to be an antique or something entirely too expensive to simply be sitting out on a shelf. I didn't know a lot about antiques or the names that glared at me from the plates and eggs, but I knew they looked expensive. After almost dropping a Fabergé egg, I backed away from the ornaments and decided to hunt down the library Carlisle had told me about. The last thing I needed was to break something that cost the same amount of money as college tuition would.

The library, which I imagined also served as Carlisle's office, wasn't that difficult to find thankfully. I was elated as I stepped inside and scanned the treasure trove for nerds everywhere. The leather bound books left a scent in the air that shouldn't have felt as familiar as it did, it hung in the air, almost palpable with the dust motes that danced in the late morning light. It was comforting, like a safety blanket that was associating the scent with a memory I didn't remember having. Maybe it hadn't been the leather but the books themselves that made me feel so at home. Mamére had always had so many books littering our home throughout the years. They ranged from general literature to the obscure, books filled with herbs and their healing powers.

Approaching one of the walls which were stacked to the ceiling, I ran my fingers along the spines of the medical texts and journals that seemed to be from a time long since passed. First edition books from writers such as Chaucer, Charles Dickens and Lewis Carroll filled the higher shelves that rose to the ceiling above me.

I closed my eyes and let my hands run across the spines, it was the only way I could pick a book from the collection in front of me. There was entirely too much choice for me to simply choose just one. When I opened my eyes, my fingers were lingering on the "Phantasmagoria and other poems" by Lewis Carroll.

I pulled it from the shelf and made myself comfortable in a chair as I opened up the book, mindful of the barely creased spine. The last thing I wanted was to put a new crease in a book exponentially older than myself. I let my eyes scan the page, losing myself in the written work that evoked images in my imagination.

"Bella?"

I jumped from the chair, the book falling and hitting my bare foot, making it throb where the edge had hit the skin. My eyes scanned the room to the door where Carlisle was standing, smiling politely as he tried to hold in his laughter.

"I'm sorry, I thought . . . I figured . . . when you mentioned the library last night I thought . . ."

"Bella, relax," Carlisle chuckled, taking a step further into the room and holding out his hands in an effort to calm my verbal and physical stumbling. "They're here to be read, I was trying not to startle you; I guess, I failed to do so."

"No, it's not your fault. I tend to get lost in the words when I pick up a book. A tornado could have been stampeding the room, and I wouldn't have seen it."

"I'm much the same way," he said, smiling. "Sorry I'm so late, I had a patient who needed an x-ray. All of the rooms were busy. I would have called, but I wasn't sure if you'd be in your room."

Embarrassment stained my cheeks as I crouched to pick up the book. Was I supposed to stay in my room? Had they wanted me to stay there while I waited? I wasn't sure what the proper etiquette was in this situation. It wasn't as though I did this every Summer and knew exactly what was expected of me.

I straightened up and checked the integrity of the book and it's spine, making sure I hadn't damaged it. The room was so quiet, I felt the need to break it; I didn't want to start the afternoon off on the wrong note.

"I'm sorry, I . . ."

"Bella, please stop apologizing," Carlisle asked, stepping closer to me as my hands ran across the book with my discomfort. "I understand how new this is to you, believe me, it's new to us all. I've never, well to be honest, I'd almost given up hope. Especially when Marie stopped writing."

"I know, believe me if I'd found the letters sooner, I would have made this trip a long time ago. I mean, if I knew your name I'd have done this a long time ago."

"I'm not sure I understand."

I shifted uncomfortably on the spot before turning around to find the spot the book belonged. "I was told that no one knew who you were, that no one knew your name. It wasn't until I found that envelope, a week ago, that I knew who you were."

I didn't know why it was so hard to say out loud. Why it was so hard to turn around and face him. Yet it was. It felt as though I was betraying mamére by telling him this, that I was making him feel belittled for not being allowed to exist in my life until now.

"It makes perfect sense. When Izzy turned ten and started asking questions about her mother, I felt sure that you would do the same. Izzy almost found the lie I'd been feeding her when she was twelve, she was trying to find Renée online, trying to understand. I had hoped . . . but I never imagined that - seems like quite a sacrifice for Renée. Wasn't she squandered? I mean . . ."

"She married Charlie when I was only a couple of months old. Sue said that was when people stopped asking questions."

"Charlie?"

"He's my step-dad. I have his last name."

Carlisle's hand covered his mouth, squeezing his jaw gently as though he were trying to hide his emotion. His eyes no longer met mine as he let all of the new information sink in. I could see that it hurt him, see that my having another man's name tagged onto mine didn't sit well.

"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to . . ."

Carlisle looked up and waved his hand in the air in front of him, once again halting my apology before I could get it all out.

"We should go if we're going to eat, why don't you go and get ready," he said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

I nodded and headed toward the door, pausing beside him as I tried to figure out how to handle this. Without another word, I put my hand on his forearm before leaving the room completely.

I wasn't sure why he'd been so upset about what I'd said. I tried to see it from his perspective as I dressed and gathered some of the things I wanted to ask him about, but I always came up with a blank. The only thing that came close to an explanation was the fact that his daughter, whose face was identical to that of the child he'd been a father to all these years, had another man's name tacked on to the end of it. Was it my similarity to Elizabeth that made him so uncomfortable?

Whatever it was, it was gone by the time I met him again downstairs. The calm demeanor I'd seen from him since that first meeting was back, accompanied by his easy smile. It was as though nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, sir," I answered, giving him a wide smile and squeezing my purse to make sure I had everything with me.

It didn't take us long to get to the restaurant, or to get seated for that matter. It seemed the later lunch meant we were able to get a table easily rather than waiting. Neither of us had said a word since leaving the house and the air between us seemed to grow maladroit as we put off the inevitable.

It wasn't until the waiter brought our drinks and took our lunch order that Carlisle decided to speak.

"For two people who have a lot to say we're very quiet."

"I was just thinking the same thing," I sighed, crossing my ankles and then uncrossing them as I tried to get comfortable. "I really didn't mean to upset you when I mentioned Charlie."

"I should be apologizing about my behavior. I wasn't prepared for that I'm afraid. In my head you've always been my daughter. I wasn't sure how to process the new information."

His daughter.

Daughter.

For so long, I'd wanted to know who my father was without really thinking about how it would feel to be around him. To him, I'd always be and had always been his daughter. To me, he was an idea, a dream I'd always had.

In my dreams it was always the idealism of a child's fantasy. The running into his arms as he accepted me into his life like it was meant to be, the instant comfort that only a paternal father could offer. Unfortunately, that's all they were, dreams. There would be no instant gratification from knowing this man. Yes, he was my father, but he wasn't my dad. He didn't know me well enough to offer an apology without sounding as though he were putting it to a board of trustees.

I knew I had to be patient, I knew I had to give it time; but time wasn't something I had much of, time was running out. I refused to out-stay my welcome. Izzy and Tanya had made it perfectly clear how they felt and Peter just seemed indifferent to the whole thing. The only ones that seemed at all happy about my presence were Emmett and Carlisle, and even Carlisle seemed a little overwhelmed.

I needed to initiate this conversation before I lost my nerve. I had to take the initiative this time, and I knew Leah would be proud.

"Carlisle, I'm truly sorry that I made you feel uncomfortable, but I think in order to get past that, we need to talk about a few things. I have a lot of questions, and you may not have answers, but I need to ask them anyway. I'm sure that you have just as many questions you want to ask. I don't want to rush getting to know you, but I am leaving this afternoon, and I think it's best we clear the air."

The Leah in my head applauded the speech and quietened down as Carlsile's interest seemed to pique. He shifted in his seat, I was sure he was going to straighten his posture a little more, but I was surprise when he relaxed in his chair and smiled at me, taking a sip of his tea.

"Would you like to start?" he chuckled.

"How did you and Renée meet?"

He tried to hide the slight cringe as he contemplated the question, but it didn't pass by my attention. I was watching him to intently to miss it.

"I met her on a Thursday afternoon. My friends and I had been on our way down to the French Quarter to let off some steam, we were cutting class for some reason or another. I can't even remember why now. We were on Canal street when I saw her. She was with Sue and her boyfriend, and she had this light about her. She was so free, dancing around the other two as she talked animatedly. I excused myself from my friends, telling them I would meet up with them later and approached her and her friends. I was seventeen and stupid, Bella," he said, sighing, his fingers spinning the glass on the table. "We didn't spent that long together before we separated from the other two; we walked around for a while talking about what we wanted to do with our lives. Before she'd even finished listing off the things she wanted to see, I kissed her."

"How long had you spent together?" I asked, amazed at his honesty. Everytime I had asked Renée about what had happened she'd brushed me off with her usual answer of '_we were teens led by our hormones, Bella, now go and play.'_

"By the time I'd kissed her, it must have only been about four hours. I knew we were running out of time and made my move. I'm not proud of what happened that day, or . . . well, you don't need to know that much, but I have never regretted what came from it."

"So how did you find out she was pregnant?"

"I told you we talked that day, Bella. She knew where to find me. She showed up at my school, her eyes red from crying, and told me that I was going to be a father."

"What did you do? What did you say?"

Carlisle hung his head and ran his palms over his face before he could bring himself to look at me. I knew from his reaction that his retort couldn't have been good. Not that I blamed him, a seventeen year old boy getting news that he'd gotten a one-time-lay pregnant must have been quite a shock, and hormonal teens weren't known for their tact.

"I'm not proud of what I said that day, Bella, and I really don't want to repeat it. I was cruel, and accusing. Renée left crying, leaving me alone to break the news to my parents."

"They weren't happy." It wasn't a question. Carlisle had seemingly always had money and I was sure the last thing his parents would have wanted for their son, was to get a sixteen year old girl pregnant.

"No, they weren't, and they threw insult after insult at me. They had been trying to get me to date one of the girls in my mother's cotillion classes that she ran for an all girls school. Her family was from old money and they believed that we were a good match."

"Arranged marriages were still around in the seventies?" I quipped, knowing very well exactly when all of this happened.

Carlisle laughed raucously, his blond hair falling into his eyes as he tried to hide his amusement. "Bella, this was in the nineties. I was born in the seventies."

"I know! It's called exaggeration," I grinned.

My answer only seemed to make him laugh harder. He was still chuckling when they placed our food on the table five minutes later. I picked up my fork and pushed the lettuce around my plate for a little bit before continuing.

"Ok, so what happened after that to make you come to my - our - birth?"

"My mother," he sighed, stabbing the pasta on his plate. "Renée was sending her scans and updates through the mail, hoping that we'd pay attention. I was still upset, but my mother's resolve seemed to weaken the more she saw the pictures. When she heard it was twins, that was the day she decided I would take responsibility for my actions."

"What did you want?"

Carlisle chuckled again and ran his hand through his hair. "You know, to this day, you're the first person to ask that."

"Well it just seems like you were forced into this situation."

Carlisle shook his head and leaned forward, placing his hand on mine. For the first time, there was no awkwardness in his action. It was a genuine moment between us.

"Bella, you may choose to believe this, you may also think I'm full of crap, but I never didn't want you. I was angry -- at my parents, at Renée, at the world -- but I never once felt forced into the situation. My mother may have demanded I take responsibility, but by the time she had, I'd already made up my mind. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to do the right thing, I wanted to take responsibility, it just so happened she thought she was winning."

"What made up your mind?"

"You two did. I always knew I was going to become a doctor, I just didn't know what field. When I saw the last ultrasound of you and your sister, I knew I wanted more than anything to know how to protect you. You two were the reason I went into pediatrics. It may sound silly to you, but as a seventeen year old boy it seemed to answer every question I ever had, and I found myself making plans for the future with the two of you the most integral part of it."

"Were you there for the birth?"

"I was," he said proudly, squeezing my hand before releasing it. "You were a half pound lighter than Elizabeth, and I could feel it too, but you were both so beautiful."

As soon as he said he felt the difference, I remembered the picture sitting in the bag hanging over the back of my chair. I turned and pulled it out, handing it to him across the table.

"I was wondering if this was me or Elizabeth. It was in the file with some other things."

Carlisle examined the picture with a smile. "This was you, the picture I have like this is of Elizabeth, mother was holding her."

"But the eyes."

"Infants eyes change color all the time," he chuckled, looking at the picture again. "This was the only time I ever held you. I had a big baseball game that night, and even though I wanted to stay, my father insisted I not let the team down and took me back to New Orleans. That night, they told me you hadn't made it. I . . . I was heart broken."

"Why did they lie to you? Why did they tell you I was dead?"

"Bella, I . . . I'm not sure it's my place to tell you, I really don't know how much truth there is in what they had to say."

"Please tell me, I want to understand."

"They said Renée got greedy. She demanded that I pay child support and was asking for extortionate amounts of money. My mother and father offered her a deal she couldn't refuse. I . . . it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it."

"What was it?"

Carlisle seemed to contemplate his response, his head hanging low as he stabbed at his food a little more. Was this also the answer as to how Renée could blackmail them? What could possibly be so bad that he felt the need to hide his eyes from mine before he could answer?

My mind seemed to come to conclusions of it's own accord. Most of the theories were more outlandish than the one before it. Hitmen and kidnapping plots seemed to fill my overactive imagination and filter into the real world with mine and Izzy's faces plastered onto the two small children in the middle of the elaborate plan.

It seemed leaving me to my own devices wasn't the greatest idea.

"Please."

Carlisle placed his fork down in resignation and finally let his sad eyes meet mine. Whatever they had done, he still hadn't forgiven them for, it still hurt him. I could see it behind the gray of his iris, spinning and interweaving with the blue and black.

"They made your mother an offer. They bought Elizabeth from her and made sure she signed a contract so she would never bother us again. They were smart about it though, they went through their lawyers and had them draw up a custody paper, the payment was noted as being a lump sum child support agreement. She had four payments of one hundred thousand dollars. When that was done, she had to cut all ties with Elizabeth. Your mother was just as smart though, she had them add a clause in the contract saying that if I made an effort to see you the contract was null and void. Which meant she could demand more money for child support or custody of Elizabeth."

My blood ran cold in my veins as I realized what I had done. What I had subjected him to. This is what mamére had been protecting us all from. This is why she had those papers. I knew what was in them now, it was the contract. Me, coming to see Carlisle had made the contract void, and Renée was free to blackmail him again and demand more money.

My hand covered my mouth, trying to suppress the choking sobs that were blocking my throat. I was an idiot. I knew that there was a reason. Mamére didn't do things like this to hurt people, it was always to protect us, all three of us from Renée.

Carlisle pushed out from the table and knelt in front of me, his hands cupping my cheeks as he raised my face to meet his.

"I know it's hideous. I'm so sorry, Bella. You must believe me though, I had nothing to do with this."

"It's not that," I sobbed, my hand dropping to my lap. "By coming here, I've voided the contract and Renée is free to blackmail you again. I'm so, so sorry."

"Bella, Bella, Bella. Breathe. I don't care about that," he said, his thumb brushing tears from my cheeks. "She can try all she wants, but you and Izzy are old enough to make your own decisions now. She can't demand a thing, and considering it was a contract between her and my parents, she doesn't have a leg to stand on, unless she gets rid of it and then we may have a hard time proving anything, but I don't care, she can have it all. You and your sister are what matter to me."

"I have it," I whispered, brushing the tears from my cheeks as he released my face.

"You have what?"

"The contract, I think I have it." I turned around in my seat and pulled the large stack out from the file and handed it to him. His eyes went from sad, to confused to happy within seconds before he got up and sat back in his seat.

"Bella, this isn't important, but it's good to have. I promise I will not use it against her."

"I don't care what you do with it," I said with certainty.

"All the same, if you would prefer to look after this I will give it back to you."

"No keep it, Carlisle. I don't need it," I said, bowing my head so my tears wouldn't show anymore. He didn't need to feel guilt. He hadn't been a part of this. Had mamére known? However unconscionable it was, I needed to know. "Did mamére know, Carlisle?"

"I asked her once, and she swore to me she only found out when Renée came home from the hospital. By then it was too late. There was nothing she could have done."

"She was trying to protect us from my own mother. A woman who never wanted me to begin with. What does that say about my life? It's all a lie, the only true thing I've ever had is my friendship. They're my only family now."

"No, Bella. You have a family, I know that we're relative strangers but there's no need to not get to know one another better. You could . . . you could come and live with us."

"What?" I asked, not even a pretense of being polite anymore. I wasn't sure if what I'd heard was right.

"You're my daughter. You belong with your family. You don't have to answer now. Think about it. You can go back to Sue and talk it over. I'll talk to everyone at the house. Things will be different once they've had time to get used to the idea."

"I don't know, Carlisle. Tanya hates me, my own twin doesn't even acknowledge my existence, I have no idea what Peter even thinks of the situation. Emmett's the only one that's even made an effort. At least at home I know I'm wanted."

"You're my daughter, Bella, I will always want you in my life. Think about it."

I was so confused as the words echoed around my mind. Living with Carlisle. Leaving behind everything I'd ever known. What about Leah? What about Sue, Seth and Jacob? I didn't know if I could leave them behind. They were all I'd ever known. But I wanted to know my father, I wanted to know my sister.

I was torn between two different worlds, and I didn't know what to do anymore.

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**A/N: I hope that answered some questions. I know Izzy should have been there, but the girl is flat out stubborn and has an epically large chip on her shoulder. I know that it seems harsh, but Renée is a major bitch. She thinks of herself, and that's the only person she thinks about.**

**Thank you to my beta, the amazing Annabanana, without her my grammar and punctuation would suck!! And her knowledge of New Orleans is invaluable!! Thank you hun!!**

**Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors, and Hev99, my awesomesauculer pre-readers. They keep me sane!! I love you guys!! To Vicki, I hope you feel better sweets!!!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, you all make me smile and you have some of the best questions that really make me think. You're all so amazing and I love you for it!!**

**The song and images aren't up on the blog yet, I had to go do some things last night so they will be up by tonight, as always the address is _privileged-fanfic. blogspot. com . . . _Thanks again guys!**

**Much love and huge hugz ~ Weezy.**


	8. Dog Days of Summer

**_All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, some plot points belong to V.C. Andrews, and the rest is all me lol!! Happy Tuesday my lovelies._**

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**Dog Days of Summer**

_A little taste of what may come - A mere glimpse of what has gone _  
_ Cause for the moment we are free - We seek to bind our release _  
_ Too young to die too rich to care too fucked to swear that I was there _  
_**Age of Innocence - Smashing Pumpkins**_

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"This is where you live?" Peter asked as he stopped the car outside of mamére's house.

I couldn't believe he was the one Carlisle asked to drive me home; I think I would have preferred the bus, even more so now the trip was over with. His silence and occasional side glances had made me feel uncomfortable the entire ride up here, and now he just seemed to talk at me every time I reached for the door handle. Even if his tone was indifferent.

"Yes, I do. Why?" I asked, sitting back in the deep leather seat that seemed to cradle my ass perfectly.

"No reason, I just didn't expect it."

His eyes scanned the small community as his fingers drummed against the steering wheel. His silence had made it too easy to think on the drive, and my head was pounding as I sifted through the thoughts that echoed through my mind. Memories of this afternoon's lunch, the sour goodbye Elizabeth offered as she rolled her eyes and stormed up the stairs, the mental itinerary that Tanya seemed to be doing as Emmett pulled me into a bear hug.

There was no way in hell Carlisle could convince me that anyone other than Emmett wanted me to stay, and he hadn't even mentioned it to them yet. However, the decision was mine to make, and he was hoping for one before next Friday so he could get things arranged.

The whole idea of making any kind of decision while my mind was so bogged down with my mother's treachery terrified me. It was an exorbitant amount of information to absorb, and only a small amount of time to process it. It was all well and good thinking about it on the way home, but it didn't answer the questions that seemed to pop up with the new line of thinking.

It wasn't as though I hadn't known Renée was a callous, heartless harpy. As far as that aspect was concerned it was old news, but it didn't stop that tiny amount of pain that seemed to circle around my heart like a boa constrictor. She was supposed to be my mother, the one person on the face of the planet who loved me unconditionally, and yet she didn't care, she didn't even want me. I was just the bishop in her sick little game, hanging behind the royalty to wipe out the opposition when they least expected it.

Now I was making chess references. Leah would be laughing at me if she could read my thoughts right now.

Peter hammered out his tune a little harder than before on his steering wheel and offered a weak attempt at a smile. At least he was trying. Still, he had to drive back to New Orleans tonight otherwise Tanya would throw a fit, so it wasn't as though I could waste any more time sitting in his car, with him, in silence.

"Ok, well thanks for the ride. Sorry Carlisle put you out like that."

"I don't mind, gets me out of the house," he said, running his hand along the steering wheel. "Hey listen, I guess I should apologize for yesterday, I kinda thought you were Izzy."

"It's fine, seems she has that effect on people," I said half jokingly. It wasn't as though I'd managed to have a conversation with her. When Emmett had said goodbye, he'd laughed and said it's funny how we can share a face but not share words. In all fairness, he was right, but I hadn't really tried that hard myself.

"You have no idea," he drawled, sounding bored again. "I'll see you later. Nice to meet you and all that."

"Yeah, you too. Be safe driving home." I cut out the _'you lunatic'_ at the end of the sentence. Peter owned one of those old muscle cars that growled when you hit the gas. Jacob would kill me for not asking what kind of car it was, or the size of the drive shaft and whatnot, but I was too absorbed in my own problems to really pay any attention.

Peter seemed to make his own rules as he drove. He seemed to find corners a worthy opponent, slamming himself into it with his handbrake as the tires screamed and clouded against the asphalt. The first time he'd done it, I'd almost thrown up over his nice, well-maintained interior. He apologized and seemed to throw the car into the corners with less fervor after that. I just hoped I would never have to depend on a ride from him again.

"Yeah, later."

I got out of the car and pulled my bag out of the trunk. Not trusting the guy behind the wheel, I stepped as far away as I could from the car as he revved the engine. The car rocked from side to side as it growled and snarled under his lead foot. Throwing it into gear, the wheels spun, kicking up small rocks and pebbles as he slid his way toward the highway, leaving a trail of dust behind him.

Ass.

I could honestly say, after over two hours in the car with him, I still didn't know him any better, and I wasn't really sure I wanted to. He seemed like a self-righteous, pompous little ass who loved the sound of his own voice. Unfortunately, we hadn't met under the best circumstances and I knew I had to give him a chance.

"Bella, you slut, are you picking up rides from perfect strangers now?"

My lips curled into a smile as I dumped my bag at my feet and turned around to confront the voice behind me. I should have known she'd be here to greet me. If I knew her as well as I knew I did, she'd missed me just as much as I missed her.

"Whore, my name is bitch. I don't, nor will I ever answer to slut," I grinned.

Leah laughed from her place on the porch, leaped down the three steps and ran at me. Her long legs covering the distance in half the time it would've taken me. Within seconds she was in front of me, her arms around my waist, squeezing as she hoisted me from the ground and into a bear hug.

"Ow, ow," I spluttered with laughter, trying to wriggle from her grasp. Her death grips had a way of making you feel like a coke can in a trash compactor. "You're crushing my spleen, Lee."

"Sorry, consider it payment for two days of absence," she laughed, dropping me on my feet so I stumbled backwards. Her hands shot out to steady me before I landed on my ass and she gave me another grin. "I missed you bitch, the bed got cold."

"Yeah right, I know that's a lie. I'm sure Jacob was more than happy with my night away. What time did he sneak in?"

Leah's cheeks flared red, which answered my question long before she did. Leah's blushes were like her tears, they didn't appear often, but when they did they told you the truth.

"Shut up!"

"Umm no. It's been a year since you discovered the benefits of sex, I can't believe you're all abashed about it now. Where's Leah and what have you done with her?"

"Oh God, you know me too well."

I smiled and bent to pick up my bag from my feet, slinging it over my shoulder.

It felt good to be home, surrounded by the familiarity of my childhood and the people I loved, but my decision was still weighing heavily on my mind. I knew Leah was with the one person in the world who would give me an honest answer, but I could also guarantee that she would be less than happy with what I was offered. She and I had never been apart more than – well two days, and I wasn't sure that I could make it without her, I wasn't even sure I wanted to try.

I felt as though I had the burden of an army on my shoulders. All of the lives that would be affected by my decision seemed to play heavily with my emotions as we walked toward the house slowly. It hardly seemed fair. What made me so special?

"So who was the owner of the fine piece of American muscle?"

"You mean the car right?"

Her shoulders fell in mock horror before she slung her arm over my shoulder and walked with me. "You have much to learn, Bells. You at least have to know what kind of car that is to impress any of the male species. It's a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda, it's V8 and has a hemi in it. They were only produced until 1974, so it's a big deal."

"You're starting to sound like Jacob."

"Don't tell him that; it'll make him happy, and you know I only exist to make him miserable."

"You say that while you have an audience."

"You're the only other person on the face of the planet who knows. So if it gets out, Jacob will be castrated in public and I will throne you town whore! You Seth Fucker, at least, when I'm done, you will be."

"Secret's safe with me, but you know you're mentally disturbed right," I asked, wrapping my arm around her waist as I broke out into a giggle.

"Of course."

"As long as you're aware."

"So the driver?"

"Step-brother, Peter. He's kinda odd. Doesn't say much and talks in short choppy sentences," I grinned. "He drives like a lunatic and seems to have lost all manners. He's one of the guys that stepped over me yesterday morning."

"No wonder he didn't get out of the car then. Asshole."

Before we'd even managed to get to the bottom stair of the porch, Seth stormed through door like a tornado in a teacup. He hopped down the stairs just as Leah had. Before I knew it, I was being picked up and thrown in the air like I weighed nothing at all. Anyone would have thought I'd been gone for a month the way they were acting.

"Seth, put her down," Leah groaned from beside me. I could see the smile she was trying to hide by impaling her teeth into her bottom lip so I gave her the finger to inspire her.

"Shut up, Leah. I'm just saying hello," Seth answered, his arms snaking around my waist as he pulled me to him, his face nuzzling in my hair as I tried to push him away. To most people it would look inappropriate, maybe even romantic in some cultures, but this was a standard Seth greeting - for me at least.

"Yeah and Sasquatch has more tact than you, you underdeveloped ape. Will you please put the girl down?"

"No," Seth said defiantly, swinging me around in a circle so I screamed and slapped him on the shoulder. He was only a year younger than us and he was strong. He liked to work out with Jacob most nights, so his muscles were far more developed than his years. It was just a shame he was such an immature ass most of the time.

"Put me down, Seth. I am not your rag doll."

My body was starting to ache with the mixture of laughing and being crushed with everyone's arms. Now all I needed was Jake to come and give me one of his bear hugs and I'd be out for the night, but thankfully, he was working.

Laughter at the door made me aware of another presence I had missed more than I had expected to. The moment my feet hit the ground, I took the steps two at a time and threw myself into Sue's arms.

"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you."

Sue wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a maternal hug, her fingers automatically brushing through the ends of my hair as she swung us from side to side. She was the only person that had ever done that to me. She was the only person, other than mamére, who ever made me feel like their child. Like I meant something.

Renée was different, she always had been, there wasn't a maternal bone in her body. So when she even attempted to act as though she cared it came off like a bag of bones in a burlap sack that had been frozen solid. She didn't know how to be anything but selfish, she was her first priority.

"You could have talked to me," Sue smiled, her hands gripping my cheeks affectionately.

"I know, I just . . . I . . ."

Then the waterworks came.

I'd been known to do my fair share of crying in my life. If there was a sad ending to a book or movie, I would get teary. When I broke a bone or cut myself open on something, I would sob in pain or, in extreme cases, cry hysterically; but I had never in my life cried like this before. I could feel it crashing over my body in waves one after the other, rocking me so hard my body shook violently around my bones. My throat, now raw and swollen, coughed up sounds that seemed to echo the pain and confusion etched in my heart.

It had come out of nowhere, but I immediately knew what the problem was. It was too much, too soon, and now I had to make a decision which would end up hurting someone.

Sue pulled me inside the house, sitting me down in one of her dining room chairs as she knelt in front of me holding my hands. My shoulders shook with my sadness, the red hot tears felt as though they were lava as they slid down my face, but it seemed to only make everything worse.

"Bella, honey, stop it. You have to talk to us. I can't help you if I don't know what's bothering you, bébe."

I tried with everything I was to get my breathing under control but it was useless. Too many things seemed to fog my mind every time it cleared and it left me with nothing but more why's and what if's. Yes, I had a decision to make; yes, it was hard for me to even fathom, but I realized these weren't tears for that, these were tears of pain because of what _she_ did.

"I . . . I . . . she never cared, she never wanted me, Sue," I hiccuped, running my hands through my hair as my breaths came in small stuttered spurts.

"Bébe, I don't understand."

"Please say you didn't know, please, please . . ."

"Bella . . ."

"Mom, let me," Leah said, crouching beside her and giving her a pointed look.

"Leah, I don't think . . ." Sue nodded and backed away when Leah gave her the _don't argue_ look, allowing her daughter to shuffle closer.

"Bella, Listen to me. If you don't stop this shit right now, I am going to slap you. You're hysterical, and it's not helping a damn thing. Now tell me what the hell these people did to you."

I took my time catching my breath, concentrating on my breathing while Sue sent Seth to get me some tissues. I knew I should feel embarrassed by my outburst, I should be making an effort to get up and wash my face so my puffy, red eyes wouldn't serve as a constant reminder that I had momentarily lost it. Yet I didn't feel the need here. They loved me, puffy eyes and all.

Seth came back with tissues and a cool damp washcloth for me to wipe my face with, and I couldn't help but grin at him.

"So, now that's out of your system, do you mind telling us what the hell that was all about?"

"I went to lunch with Carlisle and he answered a few of my questions," I sighed, blowing my nose. "He explained the paperwork and inadvertently answered the question of why mamére was so intent on keeping us apart."

"What did she do?" Sue asked, pulling out the chair beside me and sliding into it. Renée had been her best friend growing up, she knew her too well to not know it was her selfishness that had caused the outbreak. It wasn't hard to figure out.

"She sold my twin."

"Your what?" Sue asked, bewildered.

My eyes flickered between her and Leah before settling on my best friend. "You didn't tell them?"

"It wasn't my place to say anything."

This was why I loved my best friend so dearly. Just when I thought I knew everything there was to know about her, she pulled a rabbit out of her hat and surprised me. I'd never thought in a million years she would have been able to keep that to herself.

"Wait, there's two Bella's?" Seth asked from the kitchen, where he'd slid up on the counter.

"Now's not the time perv," Leah laughed, rolling her eyes and winking at me. "You can fantasize later."

"Shut up, Leah."

"Kids," Sue groaned, shaking her head. "You have a twin?"

"Yes ma'am, she's identical, except her eyes, and Emmett says she dyes her hair."

"Emmett?" Of course it would be Seth asking about a guys name.

"Step brother."

"Right."

"So, she sold your twin."

"Yes, but that's not the half of it. Carlisle had no idea this was going on. The day I was born he was at the hospital, but had a big game at school so his dad drove him home. Apparently, they came back with a contract and made arrangements with Renée while he was gone."

"I don't think I want to hear anymore," Sue sighed from beside me, her head in her hands. "I knew she had issues, but this – this goes beyond that. This is disgusting."

"How much did she sell her for?" Seth asked, sliding from the counter and edging closer.

"Seth!"

"What, it's a reasonable question. I mean it's good to know what price she puts on human life."

"Four hundred thousand dollars."

"What? No million?" Seth growled, leaning against the wall behind Leah.

"Seth Clearwater, if you don't stop asking retarded questions I will kick your ass. I don't care if mom is in the room. You're being an asshole."

"It's fine," I sighed. "She accepted four payments of one hundred thousand dollars, but she was calculating about it. She added her own stipulation to the document stating that if Carlisle made any attempt to see me or make contact, the contract would be void, which meant she was free to ask for more money, or blackmail him. It's why mamére kept us apart."

Sue mumbled under her breath in Cajun beside me, cursing Renée's name along with some other choice words and descriptive nouns. Leah was now squeezing my hands so tightly that my fingers were numb. They seemed to be just as shocked as I was at her debauchery.

"Well if she ever graces us with her presence again I have a few choice words for her," Sue said, standing up and pacing. "As a mother, I can't understand how she could – would do that. If she thinks for a second that this is . . ."

"You can't," I interrupted, prying Leah's hands from mine and shaking them as they tingled from the rush of blood. "She can never know that I am interacting with Carlisle. She'll use it against him, I can't have that on my conscience."

"I understand," she sighed in frustration. "But she will get what's coming to her one way or another."

"I know, I just think for now it would be better keeping it under wraps."

"Agreed," she said, dropping her arms to her side and taking her seat. "So tell me about everything else."

"What do you want to know?"

"Everything." The three of them answered in a chorus.

I spent the rest of the evening telling them about the house and my night there. I described Izzy, and the others in detail as well. They had so many questions for me. I answered everything I could, avoiding the topic of any further interaction because I just wasn't ready to discuss that. Still, it never went away. It hung in the back of my mind, dancing around the topics as they came up, inserting itself into answers I tried to formulate in my head.

Leah seemed to be the only one who noticed my avoidance. Every time I danced around the subject, her eyes would narrow and she would watch me like a hawk. It would only be a matter of time before she pulled me to the side and started asking questions.

It turned out it was sooner rather than later.

"Well, Bella's had a really long day. How about we get some sleep and finish this in the morning?"

"My daughter, talking sense. I'm so proud."

"My mother, making a joke, I'm horrified," Leah mocked, grinning.

We said quick goodnights as Leah attempted to drag me into our room. I was beginning to think she would pick me up and physically carry me because I wasn't moving fast enough. She knew I was putting it off; I couldn't hide anything from her and she knew it.

When we finally made it, she pushed the door closed behind us.

"Spill it, Isabella."

I hated it when she used my full name like that. It was like a parent using a middle name when you were caught doing something wrong.

"Lee, I just need to . . ."

"No, you don't. I can see how much it's bothering you."

"It is bothering me, but its something I need to think about for a while."

"Bullshit, Bella. You've never not told me something before. Just like I've never kept anything from you. Whatever it is, I can help."

I hung my head, my eyes watching my hands as they fiddled idly with the other. I knew Leah could help; I needed it, too, but the problem had the ability to hurt her feelings because, in reality, it shouldn't have been that hard to make my choice. The problem was I couldn't, something was stopping me from declining and moving on with my life like I should be. It wasn't the money or the house or the future those things promised. It was a parent who wanted to get to know me, wanted to spend time with me. I'd never had that before.

"Bella."

"He asked me to come and live with them," I said, closing my eyes and waiting for the fallout.

"What? You said no I hope," Seth said, storming in the room, surprising me. I hadn't known he'd been listening.

"Seth, you little fucker get out."

"No, I want to know what her answer was."

"Seth, get out."

"Bella?"

"Seth," Leah growled, storming towards him.

"Bella?"

"I haven't given him an answer, Seth. He gave me a week to think about it, and I haven't got a God damn clue what to say to him. You have no fucking idea how hard this is."

"I know we're your family, we've known each other since birth. Are you really willing to give up on us for a house full of strangers?"

"Enough, Seth. Go to your room, now," Sue shouted from behind him, startling us all. "You have no right to eavesdrop on their conversation. You've gone too far. Go to your room and don't come out of there until the sun comes up. Do you understand me?"

"But . . ."

"Do you understand me?" Sue asked slowly.

"Yes ma'am."

Seth gave me one last disappointment-filled glance before turning around and leaving the room. I felt horrible for shouting at him like that, but I'd been bearing my soul to my best friend, not for a second believing someone else was listening. He'd caught me off guard.

"Goodnight, girls."

"Night," we said in tandem as she backed out and closed the door behind her.

"My God, my brother's a brat," Leah said, falling onto the bed beside me. "I'm sorry that he gave you a reaction first, because it's going to make this conversation weird."

"Why?"

"Because I'm on the fence," she said, leaning back so she was lying on the bed; she tugged on the back of my shirt so I lay down next to her, looking up at the ceiling. "Bella, you're my best friend, I love you, but you're the only one that can make this decision."

"I know that, I just . . . you know me, you know that I would choose home a hundred times over if it wasn't _this_."

The tears filled my eyes and ran down over my temples, dampening my hairline. This was so much harder now. Seth hadn't hidden how he felt, he never did; it's why he was always so open about his crush on me. I knew, in some way, it reflected what Leah was thinking.

Leah shifted beside me and rolled onto her side, she picked up a handful of my hair and dabbed my tears away. Of course she had to try and cheer me up now.

"I know you can't make a decision for me, Lee, but what do you think?"

Leah was silent in her contemplation. She laid her head on her arms and took a deep breath before finally answering me.

"As much as it kills me to say it, I think you need to do this. Sometimes I wish I could be like Seth and just blurt out whatever the hell I'm thinking, but, Bella, I know you. I know what you've longed for your entire life, and even though, I will miss the ever-loving shit outta you, I think it's something that needs to happen."

"What if it's the wrong thing to do?"

"Come home. This will always be your home, I will always be your best friend, and Seth will always adore you – because I know that's important to you," she laughed, rolling onto her stomach and propping herself up with her elbows. "It's not like you're moving to Japan, just New Orleans."

"I still don't know. It was so hard not having you there to talk to every day."

"It sucks not having you here, Bells. I'm not saying make your decision now and run off to New Orleans, I'm just saying think about what you want and don't make a decision on what you think we want. This is your life, if you have to do it, then do it. It won't change our friendship."

I dug the heels of my hands into my eyes and growled at nothing in particular. I hated having decisions like this on my shoulders. It was all so complicated, and even though Leah had made things so much easier by taking away the pressure on this end, it didn't take away the fear of the unknown that awaited me in New Orleans. Carlisle wasn't the only one I had to consider while I was there.

"Thanks, Lee."

"There's more isn't there?"

"She hates me, they hate me."

"Who are they?"

"Tanya and Elizabeth. Tanya I kind of expected it from, she's the plastic, Barbie-like trophy wife who sees me as a threat to her access at the money. Elizabeth, well if i was just her sister I could see that she would consider it competition for her dad's affection, but she's my twin. I mean really my twin, if she had the same color hair, I would seriously have considered her a reflection."

"It's an adjustment for everyone; you can't expect them to immediately accept you without having some kind of doubt. But then if what Emmett said is true, Izzy seems like a bitch."

"My head hurts."

"I'm sure it does. I mean you don't have to overthink it tonight. When does he want an answer, you said a week right?"

"Yeah, but it's the sooner the better kind of deal. He wants to enroll me in school and all that. Lee, he was so excited, talking about the changes to the room he was going to have Tanya arrange and getting me a car so I could come up here whenever I wanted to."

"Well there you go then."

"I wish it was that simple."

"It is, you're just making it difficult."

"Whore."

"Bitch."

•~*~•

It was only two days later when I called Carlisle with my decision. After talking with Leah some more and then discussing it with Sue, I realized that I had more choices than I thought. It wasn't as though I was being quarantined in the Cullen household. If things didn't work out, I was always welcome back here. I'd spent the day going through mamére's house alone on Friday, trying to figure things out in my own head and come to terms with my decision before I called.

Saturday morning, I woke up at peace with my decision. Leah and I had been through every scenario and decided that, no matter what was going on, we'd see one another every other weekend, even if it was only for the day. Seth had been ignoring me since he'd overheard our conversation on Thursday night, but I'd hoped that he'd get over it, and maybe even move on and get a girlfriend.

Carlisle seemed elated with my decision and was more than happy to let me know that everyone had been informed of the move. The term informed hadn't exactly given me confidence in the way he had approached it, but my mind was made up, anything else that came my way I would deal with in time.

We agreed that I would move on Wednesday so it would give me time to settle in before school started a week from Monday. Emmett had already agreed to come and get me and my things in his car, so I wouldn't have to catch the bus again. I was just happy it wasn't Peter. I didn't think I could stand another two hour drive coasting around corners.

It was all happening so fast; I only had three days left at home before my life changed forever.

Tuesday night, Sue, Leah and Jacob threw me a party in the field by the bayou. Paper laterns hung from the trees in the still night, casting a warm glow over the small open space. Sam and Emily barbequed ribs and boiled huge pots of crawfish all seasoned to perfection, and everyone else brought sides, desserts and drinks. Everyone showed up, except for Seth.

"He'll regret it tomorrow," Leah sighed, rubbing her full stomach as she pushed the plate away from her. "You know what he's like, I mean shit, he's had a crush on you for fifteen years you can't say he's not persistent."

"It just feels wrong. Seth's always around."

"Shouldn't we be rejoicing in the peace?" Jacob laughed, stealing the last rib from Leah's plate. "I mean let's face it, we've spent the last five years complaining about him."

"It's just weird. I hate that I'm leaving while he's so mad at me."

"Then go find him. I'm sure he'll be thrilled at your attention."

"I'll try," I sighed, pushing up from the blanket we'd been sitting on and stretching. "Wish me luck."

"You don't need it. He loooves you."

"Your maturity astounds me."

"Aw, you're so sweet. Don't be too long, the dancing starts soon and I can't wait to see you fall on your ass again."

"Bitch."

Leah laughed as I walked toward the house. I knew they felt the same way about Seth's absence but were reluctant to agree with me because they wanted the night to end on a happy note. I knew I'd hurt Seth's feelings by shouting at him the night I'd come home, but I hadn't seen him alone since that night, and he avoided me like the black plague when I made an effort.

Tonight, I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I may never feel what he felt for me, but it didn't mean I didn't love him. I'd known him since the day he was born, you couldn't not love someone after knowing them for that long.

I ran up the steps of the porch and reached for the door, only to let off a scream when a voice came from a chair hidden in the night's shadows.

"What do you want?"

"Fuck, Seth. You scared the shit out of me."

"What do you want, Bella?"

My shoulders slumped at his monotoned question as I quieted my galloping heart. I hated that he felt so hurt, but he had to understand that I had to do this. I was so tired of his pouting.

"You're coming to the party."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," I said defiantly, stepping forward. "Do you really want me to remember you like this? Do you want to say goodbye on bad terms so it festers and we end up hating one another?"

"You don't get it do you?" he asked, stepping forward so some of the light dusted his face. "I'm in love with you, Bella."

"No you're not. You're comfortable with me, there's a huge difference."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes, yes, yes. Seth, I love you, but I'm not, nor will I ever be, in love with you. What will it take for you to get this out of your head?"

"Anything?"

"Yes, I will do anything, as long as it proves to you that you're wrong."

The little bastard smiled. I couldn't believe I'd walked into it like that. The Shit had probably forgiven me days ago, but he and Jacob had probably devised this little plan. I was such a sucker. I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time.

"How long, Seth?"

"What do you mean?"

"How long ago did you forgive me?"

I was met with silence and his signature grin. I'd been had. It all made perfect sense now. He'd never avoided me before. He was just like Leah, confrontational to the point of belligerence. I was just entirely too distracted to notice.

"Fuck, I won't go back on my word, but how long?"

"Sunday."

"You fucking asshole. I can't believe you made me suffer for two fucking days to orchestrate this. No wonder you've been avoiding me. You knew I would catch on. I can't believe you did this when you knew how distracted I've been."

"A guy has to use every advantage he has. Are you rebuking your offer?"

I scrunched up my eyes and rocked onto the balls of my feet with frustration. My head fell back on my shoulders so all I could see was the tin roof of the porch above me. I was going to kill Leah and Jacob for this. If Leah wasn't involved I would ask her to avenge me.

"No, I gave you my word. What do you want?"

"Kiss me."

"What?" I screeched, my head snapping forward so quickly it popped loudly. "You can't be serious."

I hummed my annoyance and tapped my foot, this was so wrong on so many levels. I was going to be out for blood after this. Rather than give an answer in words, I nodded once.

This was bad.

My body was completely rigid as he approached me, my eyes were on his as I tried to avoid looking at his lips and having my stomach lurch everything I'd just eaten on his shoes. It didn't help, they were almost dancing with his amusement at the situation. I was ready to tell him to get on with it when I felt his hand cradling my neck.

He took his last steps forward and towered over me, I still hadn't moved a muscle so I was now staring at his collarbone. The hand cradling my neck tilted my head back a little so I was looking up at him. I felt nothing, I didn't know what he'd been hoping for, but there was a whole lot of room for thought in my head, and it was just what I needed in that one moment.

His eyes slid closed as he leaned down. His lips, glistening from the last run of his tongue, were inches from mine. He was going to be so pissed off at me for this, but I hoped it would teach him a lesson. Just before his lips touched mine, I turned my head, and he got my cheek.

"There, wasn't that nice," I giggled, stepping back from him.

"Oh no you don't, Swan."

Before I had time to contemplate what he was about to do, the hand on my neck pulled me forward and his lips were against mine.

It wasn't bad, if I was being honest, it was just a kiss. Closed mouth and detached from emotion. When he finally released me and opened his eyes, he searched my face for some trace of emotion.

"Finished?"

"Oh come on, Bella."

"Best get back to the party then," I said, turning around and marching down the porch steps. "You better be following me after that, Seth."

I heard his heavy footsteps coming down the porch as I kept up my pace. Jacob was about to get my foot in his ass, and Seth was going to regret ever fucking with me.

I didn't stop my rampant march until I was in front of Leah and Jacob. I could see Jacob's smirk from the other side of the space, even in the diffused glow of the lanterns.

"Fuck you, Jake," I growled, lowering myself to the ground so I was sitting in front of him and Leah with my arms crossed.

"Woah, woah, woah, what happened?"

"Your little plan that you devised with Seth worked."

Jacob's eyes went to the lanky, smiling boy next to me. "Seth? You didn't."

"I told you it would work."

"I told him not to go for the kiss."

"Apparently, he didn't listen."

"You kissed, Bella?" Leah asked, sitting up from where she was leaning against Jacob. "What did I tell you about that?"

"Lee, I . . ."

"You're dead." Leah hopped onto her feet, and in the second it took for her to reach her full height, the two of them were gone, leaving Jacob and me sitting on the blanket, laughing. This wasn't the revenge I'd been going for -- it was so much better.

I was going to miss this when I left tomorrow. The playful banter would be traded in for watching where I stepped and starting the slow process of not offending the people I lived with. It would be difficult, considering my breathing seemed to offend Izzy.

My only hope was Emmett, and even then, it was too new to know whether that would change with time. I leaned back on the blanket and kicked Jacob as Leah finally caught her brother by the back of his shirt. I would enjoy this while I could and worry about the rest in the morning.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed :) as always little pieces of info are over on the blog: privileged-fanfic. blogspot. com**

**I know it seems weird, but Seth has had a crush on Bella since he was old enough to walk, and as much as she loves him, it's more of an friend love that what Seth would really like. I know it's kind of reminiscent of the Jacob/Bella storyline, but he's not that brutal about it, because she doesn't take him that seriously. **

**Thanks to my amazing beta, Annabanana, she not only corrects my atrocious grammar and punctuation, but she makes the best suggestions. Thanks for the call on the crawfish!! You Rock!!!!!**

**To my sweet and wonderful pre readers, miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99. You gals are amazing and you have no idea how much I love you for helping me out and keeping me calm. Not to mention listening to my inane rants. I love you all!!**

**Another huge thanks to Salix Caprea for the thread and to all the ladies who post there :) You're all awesome and I love that you ask the questions you do!!  
**

**Lastly, but certainly not least, thank you to everyone who takes time out to review. Your thoughts and comments mean so much to me, and I think every one of you have made me smile with your love/hate relationship with the characters. I love you all!!**

**Much love and Big hugz **

**~ Weezy**


	9. Drawing Lines

_**All Things Twilight Belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer. There are some plot points that come from my rusty memory of a V.C. Andrews novel, and the Rest is from some odd place they call an imagination! Happy Tuesday!!**_

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**Drawing Lines**

_And you're hanging around 'til it's all done  
You can't keep me back once I've had some  
Wasting time to get it right  
And you will see what I'm about**  
I'm Good, I'm Gone by Lykke Li**_

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Leah and I were on the porch steps when Emmett arrived the next day. She was leaning against the post and I was laid down with my head in her lap. We'd been talking about Seth's little trick and how we were going to pay him back. Sue had put a stop to the retribution last night so we had to get more inventive this time around.

Leah had been distracting me all morning. At the first sign of pacing she'd call me out and try to figure a way around it by sending me to do obscure things or bringing up stories from the past. Everyone had just seemed to leave us alone after last night's emotional goodbyes.

I sat up as soon as the roar of the diesel came through the trees. We didn't have a lot of traffic so I knew it could only be one person. I gave him a small wave and a smile as he came to a stop outside of the house and I could see his dimpled smile returning the gesture.

"Which one's this?" Leah asked, leaning in surreptitiously and bumping shoulders with me to cover up her question.

"Emmett," I said trying not to move my lips. "He's the nice one."

"Dammit I was hoping they'd someone else so I could do some threatening."

"Leah."

"What? I have to make sure they treat my best friend better than they did the first time you were there."

"I love you."

"I know. I love you back."

"Bella," Emmett said, hopping out of the truck with his grin still in place. "You're right, it's beautiful."

"Told you," I laughed, getting up to go and greet him. "How was the drive?"

"Not bad, Pete's actually good at remembering directions so I found you easily," he said, pulling me into a bear hug. "I was happily surprised you decided to ignore the idiots and come anyway. I've never seen Carlisle pace before."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. I couldn't even imagine Carlisle pacing; he seemed too well balanced for things like that. Even when everyone in the house had talked at him the day I showed up he was composed. Just closing himself off to the four voices and sighing quietly until he was forced to react.

Emmett gave me one last squeeze before I stepped out of his hug and turned around to give Leah a grin.

"Emmett, this is Leah, my best friend."

Emmett stepped around me and approached Leah who was offering her hand, but he bypassed that and pulled her into a hug. The shock on Leah's face was something to behold. Not many people had the privilege of hugging Leah; she liked to exude a false front of hostility. The only people she ever let close enough were Jacob and I, which was why she was perceived as a bitch most of the time.

"Bella's told me a lot about you," he commented, stepping back and stretching. How this guy came from Tanya was beyond me. He seemed to fit here, just as easily as he seemed to fit in Carlisle's house.

"She told me a lot about you too," Leah smirked. I could see she was trying to hold back on the welcoming until she was certain Emmett was what he seemed to be, but even she couldn't resist his charm. He was too amiable to be rude to. Even when he thought I was Izzy and antagonized me, it wasn't cruel like the others had been. It was a patience I imagined he'd pieced together from knowing her for so long.

"She did? What did she say?"

"I'm stood right here, Emmett."

"I'm aware of that," he grinned turning to look at me briefly before turning his dimpled smile back to Leah.

"That you're the nice one. That you and Carlisle are the only ones making her feel welcome."

Emmett's booming laughter seemed to make Leah jump. His jovial nature wasn't something she was used to at all. Yet, I could tell she understood why I liked him.

"Maybe you should come down this weekend and spend some time with us. We're not all bad, I promise. Just her evil twin and my emotionally stunted brother."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why the hell not? Jessica stays over all the time, I can't stand the bitch, but she's Izzy's best friend. I know Carlisle will be happy that Bella's getting comfortable."

I grinned at Leah, pleading her with my eyes to say yes. I hadn't even thought about it with all the excitement from the move and the complete terror of a new life, but it was just what I needed. If I was being honest, it's what she needed too. I needed her to see where I would be staying, I needed her to feel welcome.

"I don't see why not," she grinned back. "Why don't we go get your things? Jacob's on his way over, I'm sure he'll want some man talk about the lift on that truck."

"Sure you don't need any help?"

"We got it thanks," Leah smiled, tugging on my arm and marching us into the house.

She didn't say a word until we were in her room gathering my bags. I was beginning to think she wasn't going to say anything at all until I made a move for the door.

"I see why you like him," she sighed, smiling. "He seems like a decent guy, and he's adorable."

"Lee, brother – Gross!"

"Step-brother. Yours, not mine."

"Leah Katherine Clearwater," I laughed, trying not to think about Emmett in that capacity. He may only be my step brother, but it still seemed wrong to even look at him in that way. It wasn't as though I hadn't thought he was handsome when I bumped into him, but as soon as I found out he was - in some way - my brother it was put out of my mind.

"What? Like you haven't noticed how hot he is," she laughed rolling her eyes. "What are you anyway, a nun?"

"Bitch."

"Whore."

We both burst into laughter as the words came out of our mouths. If it hadn't been for her agreeing to come to the Cullen house this weekend my reaction would have been to burst into tears because I was losing this kindred spirit. Thankfully, she had agreed so the wait to see her wouldn't be as excruciating as I was anticipating.

We made our way out with the bags I had loaded in our arms. I didn't have much, but it was enough. When we got there Jacob and Seth had joined Emmett and were fawning over his truck. The hood was open with Jacob and Seth admiring the engine, while Emmett stood to the side looking bemused.

"We're gone five minutes and you already have the hood open," Leah exclaimed from beside me as we stopped where Sue was stood on the porch. "Sorry, Emmett. My boyfriend and brother have no restraint when it comes to things like this."

"Oh it's not a problem. The whole thing is custom, I've had so much work done to it the real beauty is under the hood anyway."

"Maybe you could teach Bella some things," Jacob mumbled from somewhere in mechanical heaven.

"Shut up, Jake. Get the hell out of there, they have to leave now."

"Lee."

"Jacob."

Jacob reappeared from under the hood and turned to look at us. He raised his eyebrows in a challenge he knew he would lose, whether it was now or later. He may have wanted to grasp onto that man card in front of Emmett, but he knew it was in Leah's possession ninety nine percent of the time. It was all dependent on whether she would revoke it in front of Emmett or not.

I laughed as the stare down commenced and turned to Sue who was shaking her head in amazement. We embraced, her hugging me tightly before kissing me on the temple in a final farewell.

"Thank you, Sue, I love you and I'll see you soon."

"Okay, sweetheart. I'll miss you everyday till you come visit. I love you too. Never forget that."

"I won't, I promise," I said, releasing her and giving her the strongest smile I could. I knew she could read through it and see my terror, but she let it go, well aware that my mind was made up. I picked up my bags and made my way down the porch steps, handing them to Emmett as he came back from taking the bags Leah had given him to the truck.

Jacob, having lost the battle with Leah, stepped forward and wrapped his long arms around me, pulling me into his chest. "It's gonna be weird, Bells, but I know why you have to do it. I'll see you soon, but don't forget to call."

"I won't, Jake. Look after Leah for me, keep her out of trouble," I whispered, pushing up on my toes to kiss him on the cheek. "I'm going to miss you. Love you."

"Love you too, brat."

Before Jacob could even release me, I found myself pressed up against Seth's chest, my nose almost flat against his collar bone.

"Seth, can't breathe."

"Oh," he chuckled, loosening his grip. "Don't go, Bells."

"Seth."

"A guy has to try," he said, the smile evident in his voice. He dipped and kissed me on the cheek before slapping my ass. I could hear Sue and Jacob laughing just as well as I could hear Leah's mental eye roll.

For old time's sake I gave Seth a slap on the shoulder and danced out of his embrace.

"Always pushing your luck," I laughed. "Still love you though."

"Love you too."

Then it came to saying goodbye to Leah.

I threw my arms around her waist as hers linked around my neck holding me close. We didn't say a word, we just stood there hugging for the longest time, rocking from side to side as I choked back my tears. My heart seemed to literally ache in my chest as I thought about not seeing her everyday, or eating lunch with her, or sneaking her out of the bedroom window most nights so she and Jacob could do whatever it was they did every night. I didn't need a visual so I didn't think too hard about that.

My everyday would be drastically changed because she wouldn't be in it. It was like losing a part of myself and I was beginning to think chopping off an arm or a leg would be less painful than this. When we finally broke apart we were both teary eyed.

"I left the spare key to mamére's house in your nightstand," I whispered stepping back and giving her a wink and squeezing her hands in mine. "Love you, Lee, I'll see you this weekend?"

Leah nodded and smiled through the tears that had now spilled over the bottom lid, leaving wet tracks down her cheeks.

"Love you, Bells," she choked out, pulling her hand free and smacking my ass hard.

"Bitch," I whispered, rubbing my ass and backing away from her.

"Whore," she mouthed, giving me the finger in front of her stomach so her mom wouldn't see it.

I laughed and climbed up into the huge cab of the truck, almost falling on my ass as I tried to bounce from the ground. Emmett's long arms reached out and pulled me inside on the second try, making me land face first in the leather seats, my legs dangling helplessly out of the door.

"Sorry, Bella," Emmett snickered, as he tried to help me straighten up. "You got it?"

"Yeah, thanks," I mumbled, the familiar heat crawling up my neck towards my cheeks. I hated being so clumsy and the laughter of my friends outside the truck didn't help either.

Emmett's truck started with a growl that had Jacob and Seth elbowing one another. Leah was stood next to Sue, their arms around one another as they watched the truck jerk forward and start down the long dirt road to the highway.

This was it, I was leaving, I was actually going through with it. I was leaving the only place I'd ever called home and moving in with a father I'd only met once and his family. I was going to be living with the girl that shared my genes and face, going to an educational institution that probably had more people in one grade than we had in our entire school.

I was leaving behind the familiar and stepping into the unknown blind and unsure of everything.

"You alright? You're really quiet over there," Emmett asked as we got on the freeway and followed the signs towards our destination. The garish sun seemed to stream through the windshield and bounce from the cars surrounding us as I thought about how to answer him. Was I alright?

Physically, yes; mentally, pretty much; emotionally, no. Emotionally I was suffering. The fear that had been underlying these last couple of days was now gripping me in its embrace, making my heart thud against my ribs to a mercurial beat.

I had been gone only twenty minutes and I missed my best friend more than I could form words to describe. It hadn't been bad that one night I had come alone because I knew I would be going home the next day. This was different, this was a more permanent change. I was moving.

"Bella?"

"Sorry, Em, I wasn't exactly sure how to answer that."

"We're not so bad once you get to know us," he said smiling at me. "I know it seems intimidating, especially after the close knit family you have back there, but it'll all work out. You'll see tonight."

"Tonight? What's tonight?"

"It was supposed to be a surprise, but I'm thinking that's probably not the best idea right now."

"Emmett," I sighed, wishing I understood his code. "What are you trying to say?"

"I organized a get together with my friends, I figured . . . Are you alright?"

My head was currently residing between my knees. The words 'get together' didn't seem to fill me with as much mirth as he'd been expecting. It didn't seem to fill me with with anything other than a wave of nausea. Last night was one thing, they were people I'd known since birth. I'd spent time with all of them in one way or another growing up because mamére was owed a lot of favors. If she had to run an errand and Sue was out, one of them would be stuck with me. Tonight, these were people that would look down on me, these were the people that stepped over me and criticized my clothes. These were people I'd never met before.

"Please don't throw up in my truck."

"I won't," I mumbled, forcing myself to sit upright and look at him.

"You're really white. What's got you so freaked out?"

"I know you mean well, Emmett, but big crowds make me nervous."

"It's not a big crowd, Bells and anyway wouldn't you rather start school knowing people?"

He was right. Knowing people would make it easier to start at a new school, especially one my sister frequented. I knew a lot of them would be confused to begin with. There may even be some cases of mistaken identity, which really wasn't an appealing thought considering the reaction of those who thought I was Izzy, but I still couldn't help my trepidation.

"I have nothing to wear," I said, looking down at myself and thinking about everything I'd brought with me. It wasn't exactly the truth, but I hoped it would get me out of this.

"I asked mom to help out. I told her you were meeting my friends and she was her usual colorful self and insisted I not take you dressed like a . . ." He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't need to. I knew what she would have said. It was probably something akin to what she'd said to my face the first time she'd met me.

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yes," I said rubbing my face with both hands hoping the rough movement would encourage the color to return. "Just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"If I feel uncomfortable, will you take me home?"

"I promise," he grinned, his dimples appearing clearly. "You won't regret it."

I highly doubted that, but I held my tongue and tried to feed off of his positive energy.

It didn't take us long to get into the city again. It was a longer ride than it had been with Peter, but the decent conversation and lack of fear had made it less torturous than it had been. Emmett seemed genuinely excited to have me coming to stay with them and I wondered just how starved he was for conversation.

We pulled into the drive just before the five o'clock traffic created a complete gridlock on the freeway. Not that I knew what a gridlock even looked like living in the country my whole life, but the way Emmett described it, it didn't sound like fun at all.

Carlisle came outside the moment we pulled up, which had Emmett chuckling beside me in the cab of the truck and I could only imagine it wasn't something he did often. I guess he didn't have the need to. I couldn't help but feel flattered at the attention though, he seemed excited that I was here.

"This is new," Emmett mumbled, giving Carlisle a nod through the windscreen and winking at me.

I raised my eyebrows at the comment, but said nothing to respond to it. I unclicked the seatbelt as Carlisle approached the door and pulled it open. Once again his smile reminded me of the picture I had studied for days before my first trip down here and it eased some of the panic that was still ingrained inside of me.

"How was your drive?"

"Not bad thanks," I grinned, not tacking on the 'better than the way up there' that seemed to linger in my mouth after the statement. It would do me no good to insult Peter's driving when our non-existent relationship was rocky at best.

"Sorry I didn't come myself, I had a few appointments I just couldn't reschedule."

"It's not a problem, Emmett was a great chauffeur," I said, grinning at Emmett as I slid out of the truck.

"She threatened to fire me when I didn't have the hat," Emmett laughed, jumping to the ground with a thud on the other side. "Now let's get this stuff inside so she can settle in before tonight, maybe even throw up a few times."

"Not funny, Emmett."

"I thought it was hilarious."

"What's this?" Carlisle asked, a bemused smile painting his lips as he watched Emmett and I go back and forth.

"Seems Bella's not to keen on parties."

"You told her? I thought you wanted it to be a surprise?"

Emmett laughed loudly and it echoed around the courtyard the pool was situated in. He clapped Carlisle on the shoulder making him jerk forward, before opening the back doors.

"She was freaking out, I thought it would be better if it wasn't sprung on her like that."

Carlisle nodded thoughtfully and picked up some of the bags that Emmett was unloading onto the driveway. He looked at me curiously before becoming more animated again.

"I hope you don't mind, I had Tanya fix up your room while you were gone. It's no longer a stuffy guest room. She was excited about a new project. You have the same bed I'm afraid, but she did buy a more contemporary frame for it."

I almost laughed at the remorseful look he offered me for the bed. It was the one thing I had been looking forward to coming back here for and I wasn't sure how the comment would be received if I verbalized it. I was, however, curious about the changes he'd asked Tanya to make and how she'd decided to put the room together. After our last interaction I knew there'd be nothing of value in there because I was sure she'd expect me to steal it.

I picked up the last of my bags and followed Carlisle and Emmett into the house. There was no one around; I couldn't even hear a television playing. For a brief second I panicked that they were all up in the room waiting to greet me, then I came to my senses.

We took the back stairs I hadn't noticed hidden behind a wall in the kitchen and made our way up the stairs to the second floor, then through the door next to it until we were in the room I had occupied previously.

My eyebrows rose high on my forehead as they scanned the place, it was barely recognizable. The television was now four times larger than the one that had been in here and a lot more expensive looking. Hooked up to it was a playstation three and a cable box, with stacks of movies and games beside that. The couch, that had previously been a simple loveseat with neutral colored fabric, was now a black leather sectional with a chaise lounge at one end. Two paper lamps stood tall behind it with shelves towering to the wall full of books.

On the other side of the room stood the bed, the comforter, once a simple white down, was now black in color with lines in different shades of gray and silver along the foot of the bed. There had to be at least ten pillows on there including the decorative ones that sat neatly on top. The new frame was padded black leather that rose high into the room with two spotlights hanging down to read from.

It was breath taking and far more than I expected from a woman who seemed to dislike me intently.

"What do you think?" Emmett asked, nudging me in the arm as he placed the bags in front of a huge black dresser that had obviously replaced the old one.

"It's amazing, your mom has a real eye for this."

"It's her passion," Carlisle laughed, "I think every room in this house gets redone every year or so. She was excited to have a new project. Not to mention having to redo the guest bedroom downstairs again."

"Leah's going to freak out."

"Hope you don't mind I extended an invitation to her friend, Leah, for this weekend," Emmett said, winking at me. I appreciated him bringing it up, considering I hadn't asked and just blurted out that my best friend was sure to appreciate my new room.

"No that's perfect, maybe Sue will be a little more comfortable if she knows we're not hiding you in the basement."

"I don't think that was her inclination," I laughed, drinking in the room a little more. "She trusts my judgement."

"That's a good sign. I have a couple of errands to run this afternoon, but I figured we could all go to dinner before Emmett's little party. I know that there's still some things Izzy's curious about and I'm sure there's some things Tanya would like to get out in the open too."

"That would be great, I need to unpack anyway. Thanks so much for all of this, Carlisle. I'm just . . . I'm stunned."

"I'm glad you like it. I'll see you for dinner, if you need anything I think Emmett or Peter will be around."

"Yes, sir," Emmett confirmed from behind me, looking through the games by the TV.

"I'll see you for dinner then," Carlisle smiled, before turning to leave. He stopped at the top of the stairs and looked back at me again. "Tanya bought you something to wear tonight. She's going to take you shopping this weekend, but she thought it would be nice to have something new to come out to dinner with."

"Tell her thank you."

"Will do," Carlisle said, making his exit down the stairs.

"Check out the drawer of your nightstand," Emmett said, stepping forward with a grin. "You were supposed to find it on your own, but I'm shit at surprises."

"I noticed," I laughed, skipping over to the bed and pulling open the drawer of the simple black nightstand. There were two boxes inside, one bigger than the other, both wrapped in gold paper with emerald ribbon wrapped around them. "What is this?"

"Open them and find out."

I sat on the bed, placing the two packages beside me, wondering which to open first. I picked up the smaller of the two and turned it in my hands so I could see all of the sides. I slid my finger under the paper and ripped it back. The moment the object came into view I began to wish I'd waited until I was alone. The metallic pink of the casing was a dead give away, and there was no stopping the smile breaking out on my face. I'd always wanted an iPod.

"Do you have one already?"

"No," I grinned. "I don't and I have no idea how to work it."

Emmett laughed and walked over to the bed to sit next to me. "I'll teach you how, but you may need the next gift to use it."

I pulled the bigger box on my lap because it was entirely too heavy to do anything else with. I didn't hesitate as I pulled the paper from this package, and it took everything in me to not squeal in delight. They couldn't be serious.

"A laptop? I can't accept this, Emmett. I really don't want to offend Carlisle, but this is too much."

"Yeah, but you kinda need it for school anyway so it's not as awesome as it should be when you consider that."

"I do?"

"Yeah that's how most people take notes and the teachers hand out those little memory sticks with homework and reading material on them."

I was horrified, my computer skills were minimal at best and there was no way I could type fast enough to take notes in class. It was an impossibility. I was so far out of my depth.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't type that fast."

"You don't need to," Emmett laughed again, pulling the laptop all the way out of the wrapping and pulling off what looked like a DVD case. "This is all you need. It's dictation software and the laptop has a built in microphone."

I grinned at him and starting reading the back of the software case, hoping that he would at least help me set it up. I wasn't a complete technological reject, but I would need some advice when it came to this state of the art computer.

We sat in silence as I opened the box with reverence. I knew that coming in here with nothing they were going to end up buying me things to suit their tastes, especially on things like the way I dressed. Tanya had made it all too clear how she felt about my appearance. This though, this was too much and entirely too soon to even think about accepting things like this.

The silence seemed to hang in the air as I pulled out the pretty white laptop. Unfortunately, the silence didn't last and it was interrupted by a voice I'd never heard before.

"Why are we going to the third floor? God, Izzy, glutton for punishment much?"

Emmett groaned under his breath beside me and moved to get up, but I put my hand on his arm, curious as to why these girls were in my room.

"You have to see it now, Jess. Seriously, they're bending over backward to please this bitch, when I think she'd be perfectly happy sleeping on straw in the garage. You should have _seen_ the way she was dressed. Even Tanya had something to say about it. Now, she's decorating her room and buying her clothes from Saks. Like she's going to know what to do with that."

Emmett looked at me with apologetic eyes as the girls crested the stairs. Jessica's mouth was wide open as she gaped around the room, it wasn't until they hit me that she almost choked on her tongue.

"Oh, it's here already," Izzy said, looking at me still perched on the bed. "And what did I tell you? The buying of the love has already begun."

"Get out of here, Izzy," Emmett said, sounding tired already.

"Why are you taking sides, Emmett?"

"Izzy, you're right she has your face but with boring features like muddy brown hair and dull brown eyes. It's like you without all of your amazing features," Jessica said, her eyes roaming up and down me. I don't know why it made me feel so violated, but she was definitely giving me the creeps.

"Right! I told you."

Jessica turned up her nose at me, her eyes rolling with boredom now she'd seen everything there was to see. She folded her arms and glared at me in an act of solidarity to Izzy. At least she had a good friend too.

"Let's go, Iz, Mike's probably wondering where we are anyway."

Emmett snorted next to me and Izzy shot him a look before nodding at her friend and following her to the top of the stairs. I watched as Jessica made her way down, but Izzy stopped, her hand gripping the railing as her head turned slowly so she was facing me again. Her blue gray eyes flashed in the dim light, they were like the steel blades of a knife as she glared at me.

"You may _think_ you have the upper hand, Isabella," she purred, her eyes narrowing. "But you've only won the battle, I _will _win the war and when I do you'll be gone quicker than it took to carry your one bag up the stairs. I'm not someone to be fucked with and _MY_ dad will see you for what you are. Don't get comfortable, you won't be staying."

She marched down the stairs as Jessica cackled from the bottom, obviously enjoying the show. I hated that she made me feel so hollow, that her words cut me like a serrated edge, but they did. There was no stopping the pain from flooding my consciousness after that, tears welled in my eyes as the sobs rolled up my throat and threatened to break.

"Bella," Emmett said, his sad eyes watching me fight the losing battle with my emotions. "You can't let her get to you like that. She lives for that shit. You have to learn to give as good as you get, treat her like Leah, but mean what you say."

"I don't know if I have it in me."

"Of course you do," he grinned, punching me in the shoulder gently. "You're quit witted and sharp. She may have a silver tongue that cuts deep, but you have the ability to hit back. Shit, you did it to me the first day I met you."

I smiled and shook my head. "You don't have my face."

"That would be kinda scary and I would be in the circus. But the point is, you don't have to listen to her crap. Carlisle knows as well as anyone the shit she's capable of. Just don't take her bullshit and it will make living in this house a hell of a lot easier for you."

"You're right, thanks Emmett."

"You're welcome, Bells. Now why don't you do yourself up and show that little bitch what someone with class looks like."

I nodded and gave him a fake punch in his arm as he started out of the room. If I didn't have him I'd already be sinking miserably in this ship.

I would take his advice though, whatever Tanya had bought me, I would make the most of it and I would go down there with my head held high, because I knew who I was, I knew what my motivation was. If she wanted a war, she had one.

* * *

**A/N: Firstly I apologize profusely to the people I had unintentionally lied to and said Edward be appearing in this chapter. I was one chapter too soon on that so I apologize. I should also probably point out that this is based loosely on a V.C. Andrews storyline, and that things may not always be what they seem. However, it will be an ExB story!! Hope that helps and I'm sorry it's taking so long to get the gang in here. **

**Secondly, it will start picking up from here. It won't be bombs and napalm, but things will start changing and I hope they are interesting for you.**

**Thank you to Bob, or Hev99 for giving this a last minute look over. I appreciate it hun!!**

**To my prereaders, miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99. Thank you ladies and I love you lots. You keep me sane and I know that's a huge task to deal with and I love you for it.**

**Thank you also to everyone who visits the blog and the forum. You guys are amazing!! (I'm running late on today's update of the blog but it will be done by tonight!)  
**

**A HUGE thank you and an I love you to all of you that review. Every week you keep me smiling with your comments and observations. Your questions are appreciated and I hope the answers don't give too much away. I love you all, You're all brilliant!! Thank you!**

**Much love and huge hugs ~Weezy~**


	10. Calm Before The Storm

_**All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, some of the odd situations are inspired by V.C. Andrews, and the rest is all my unusual imagination. Happy Tuesday :)**_

* * *

**Calm Before The Storm**

_I can set you free,  
Make you rich and wise.  
We can live forever;  
Look into my eyes.  
**Sinister Purpose: Creedence Clearwater Revival**_

_**

* * *

**_I had managed to not break my ankles coming down the stairs in Carlisle's house. It was a miracle in its own right, considering the shoes Tanya had put me in. I imagined I could attribute said miracle to the clothes she'd bought me though. The black skirt came down just below my knees and was so tight I had to pause on each step on the way down.

I'd never in my life been dressed like this before. The clothes were beautiful, high fashion and very nicely cut, they seemed to hug my curves in all the right places. The only problem was they were so uncomfortable. Most of the dresses I owned were strapless, but the top she'd bought me was a softer material that threatened to slip down at any moment.

I felt like a fraud.

Emmett's encouragement had made me persevere with these ridiculous clothes; I'd never done so much wiggling to get into a skirt before in my life. If it had been any other situation, I would have ignored the instructions and worn something of my own, but here, I knew I needed to make allowances to fit in. Elizabeth had already drawn the battle lines, and I had to keep my head up high to show her she had no power over me.

I was victorious as I reached the bottom step. I hadn't worn heels too much at home; I had no need for them and hadn't really wanted to break an ankle, but it seemed that I had no choice if I wanted to make nice with the step momster. After our last conversation, I was hoping this would wave the white flag and bring up a little bit of a truce so she would at least give me a chance.

"Bella, you look great," Emmett said, coming down the stairs behind me. His shiny black shoes looked so much more comfortable than the death traps I was wearing.

"Thanks," I mumbled, releasing the banister and stepping forward. I followed Emmett into the living room.

It wasn't long until everyone showed up and we began making our way out. Carlisle and Tanya took their own car because of the party we were heading to after dinner. I rode with Emmett, so needless to say, he had to literally pick me up and place my into the passenger seat of his truck because there was no way in hell this skirt would allow that kind of movement. I was still a little nervous about meeting all of Emmett's friends, and knowing that Elizabeth and her friend, Jessica, were supposed to be there, as well as Peter, really didn't instill much hope in me. So taking his truck while Elizabeth and Peter took his car ensured that Emmett would stick to his word and take me home if I felt uncomfortable.

Dinner was awkward, to put it mildly.

I was seated between Peter and Emmett and was all too aware of Peter's eyes as they scanned me, occasionally peering down the front of the top I was wearing if I leaned too far forward. It was a little creepy to say the least, but I continually extricated it out of my mind as I pushed the food around my plate and nibbled on bread sticks.

Elizabeth sat between Peter and Carlisle and tried to monopolize their attention whenever either of them asked me a question. Tanya looked bored and checked her phone every five minutes for messages, her long manicured talons tapping back a message whenever it did finally vibrate. Emmett was the only one who seemed relaxed at the table, which was an indication that this odd behavior wasn't on the account of my presence.

It was amazing to me that these people managed to communicate at all with this kind of hostility. Yet, I tried to persevere and keep my manners as the quiet conversations picked up and ended as quickly as they'd started.

"Bella, I have arranged everything for you to attend school with the others. With Sue's help, we managed to get your files transferred with minimal complication, and I think you should be set," Carlisle said, smiling and taking a sip of his bourbon that he'd ordered after dinner.

"Thank you, and thank you for the gifts, Carlisle; they were too much, but I do appreciate it. Tanya, I just wanted to thank you for decorating my room and the clothes. It was really very thoughtful of you."

Tanya looked at me a little bewildered. It was as though she hadn't expected an act of gratitude for her efforts. Maybe it wasn't something she was used to. It didn't last long though; the shock was soon replaced with a smirk of satisfaction.

"You're welcome, Isabella. I couldn't have you coming to dinner looking like a vagabond now could I?" she said, smiling with an ounce of hatred tainting the curve of her lips. "I will be taking you shopping this weekend for new clothes and your uniform. I won't have a child living in my house looking like she was dragged in off the streets."

My mind repressed every answer I could give her. Every answer I wanted to give her. Who did she think she was? My clothes were fine -- they weren't Gucci or other brand names I had no knowledge of, but they were decent, clean and reasonably well cut. They sure as shit didn't hug my curves and make me look like a high-class whore.

"Thank you." I knew she was trying to get a rise out of me, but I refused to bite. She wasn't the reason I was here, and I wouldn't let her make me feel like crap because I hadn't come from money. The clothes I had were fine, but I wasn't going to argue with this woman over something as ridiculous as my closet and it's contents.

She said no more, just nodded in my general direction as she picked up her vibrating phone. I felt Emmett's leg nudge me under the table, and when I turned to look at him he simply winked, letting me know that I had done the right thing.

"Bella . . ."

"Daddy," Elizabeth said, cutting him off. "I think I've decided what I want for my seventeenth birthday. It's less than three weeks away, and I finally decided on what I want."

"That's nice sweetheart," Carlisle said, his wise eyes twinkling as he processed what his daughter was attempting to do. "Just do the same as you do every year, put it in the birthday box on my desk with all your other ideas."

"Birthday box?" I whispered under my breath, not really expecting an answer. Unfortunately, Emmett had heard me and found it necessary to answer my question.

"Carlisle has a box in his office, it's there all year round. When you think of something you'd like for your birthday, you write it down and put it in the box. It's a clever idea. I put something in there a week after my birthday and got it the next year," he laughed, scratching the back of his head as he tried to remember what it was. "It ended up being a surprise, but it was still something I wanted."

"You'll have to start adding to it, Bella," Carlisle smiled, swirling his glass.

All of my birthdays had been surprises, and I couldn't even imagine placing requests in a box all year then getting what you wanted. It seemed wrong somehow, but then Leah had always been the informant where that was concerned. She would listen to me when we went to the mall and I admired something, then tell anyone who asked. I guess this was the same kind of thing, just a little more direct.

I gave him a smile and a nod, and it seemed to appease him even though Tanya and Elizabeth glared at me. I was beginning to think I couldn't win no matter what I did.

By the time the meal was over, I was actually looking forward to getting away from this mess for a while. There were so many conflicting emotions around this one table, I felt exhausted after sitting here for two hours with them.

Elizabeth and Peter left first, mainly because Izzy wanted to pick up Jessica on the way to the Hale's house. Emmett and I left not long afterward; Emmett seemed intent on getting there before Peter and Izzy.

"Thanks for dinner," I said, getting up and teetering on my heels, making Tanya scowl at me. "It was very nice."

"You're welcome. Have fun tonight and try to be home before two."

Emmett nodded and tugged on my arm as I followed, a little shell-shocked at the request. Two am? He really trusted us enough to stay out that late? Sue trusted us, but then we knew everyone in town; there was no way in hell we could get into that much trouble. But in New Orleans?

"I imagine that's early for you, huh?" Emmett asked, nudging me again. He danced through the crowd, pulling me out of the way of a group of guys whose eyes were hovering on my chest.

"Quite the opposite actually," I said, ignoring the cat calls from the guys as they passed, blushing scarlet at some of their more lewd suggestions. I moved to turn around and answer one of the guys who was still hollering what he'd like to do to me when Emmett stopped me and forced me to keep walking.

"I appreciate your spirit, Bella, but I don't need to get into a fight defending your honor tonight. Take my word for it, you're better off ignoring it."

"Men have it so easy."

"Believe me, I have the same problem. I've lived here long enough to be hit on."

"You mean . . .?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean," he chuckled. "You don't get out much do you?"

I laughed and followed him to the car, where once again he had to lift me into the truck. My eyes ran across the houses of the Garden District I hadn't had a chance to acknowledge the first time I'd been here. We drove down streets, passing by some beautiful mansions as we went.

The Hale house was stunning, it seemed to exude the feel of the city with it's plantation styling and huge columns. It was a completely different style from the house I now lived in, but it was still filled with the old world charm that most of the houses in the area held.

Emmett pulled up into the driveway and climbed out while I simply drank in the scene in front of me. He pulled open the door and offered me his hand with a smile.

"Nice house, huh?"

"Beautiful, it reminds me of the old plantation house close to home. Shadows on the Teche. It's so big and beautiful and has the same kind of feel. It's a museum now."

"I'll have to hit it up," Emmett chuckled, his hands waving impatiently. "For now, why don't we go inside."

"Oh right, sorry." I grinned, offering him my hand as I slid from the cab of the truck. He lowered me to the ground and shut the door behind me before taking off toward the front door, leaving me to fiddle with the clothes I was wearing.

I tried to keep up with him in the shoes I was wearing, but it was hopeless. By the time I managed to get up the steps of the porch, the door opened, revealing a beautiful blonde. Her hair was brushed immaculately up into a twist at the back of her hair, whilst her relatively simple but stunning black dress was swept into a bunch at her hip, making her seem even slimmer than she already was. She was beautiful and looked like a super model. Her eyes lit up when she saw Emmett and pulled him into an embrace, her full lips brushing against his cheek in welcome.

"Emmett, you're early," she smiled, stepping back and grinning at him before noticing me standing behind him. "You must be Bella, and this will take a little getting used to."

"You'd be surprised, Rosalie," Emmett laughed, stepping back so I could step inside first. "She's a lot more charming than Izzy."

"Standing right here, Emmett," I laughed again, offering a hand to Rosalie.

"Again, I'm aware of that."

"Nice to meet you, Rosalie," I smiled when she took the hand I offered.

"You too, Bella, come on in."

I stepped past her, trying not to slip around on the marble floors that felt like ice under the heels I was wearing. Rosalie giggled as she followed me in and gave me a look over.

"You alright there?" she asked, grabbing my elbow and steadying me.

"New to the heel thing," I sighed.

"And the fashion thing," Emmett offered from behind me.

"Thanks, Em."

"Anytime," he chuckled, looking around the place. "Where is everyone?"

"I told you, you're early," Rosalie said, releasing my arm in a test run to see if I'd finally caught my balance; I hadn't. She giggled again and shook her head in disbelief. "Emmett why don't you make us some drinks while I get Bella into something a little more manageable."

Emmett nodded and headed into the house while Rosalie indicated I should kick off the shoes I was wearing and follow her.

We headed up the stairs, the task a lot easier without the shoes, and walked into a bright and beautifully designed room that looked as though it belonged in a catalogue rather than to a teenage girl.

"I'm going to show you a little trick that may help when you have to be on your feet a lot in heels. I'm guessing you're about the same size as me," she sang, disappearing into the closet and appearing again with a beautiful turquoise dress and shoes with a considerably smaller heel compared to the ones I was wearing.

She placed the dress on the bed before stepping back and looking between me and it.

"You'll be a lot more comfortable in this, and you'll be able to move freely too. The kitten heels are perfect for it, and until you get the hang of the bigger ones, they'll work well. They're like training wheels; I have thousands of pairs so you can have these."

"Thank you so much," I grinned, stepping up to the bed, unzipping the skirt I was wearing and wiggling out of it.

"No problem, believe me, I had to learn too. Heels are amazing and make your legs and ass look great, but it's hell getting used to them."

"Tell me about it, I'm not the most balanced person on the face of the planet to begin with. Put me in those things and it's a disaster waiting to happen."

Rosalie laughed and sat on the bed while I continued to change, folding the skirt and top I had been wearing before pulling on the shoes.

"This must be pretty weird for you. I can't even imagine finding out I have a twin at sixteen, but then the added bonus of her being the devil incarnate must suck."

"I haven't really had a chance to talk to her all that much," I admitted, testing my balance on the shoes. "But she hasn't really been all that welcoming. In fact, she mostly refers to me as 'it'."

"She's such a spiteful bitch."

"Certainly seems that way." It seemed that Emmett and his friends from our first encounter weren't the only ones to feel as though my twin was poison. I guess they had known her longer than I had; if anyone was going to know, it would be them.

"Feel better?" she asked, standing up from the bed and smoothing down her dress.

"A lot, thank you," I sighed. I was amazed at how comfortable I felt with Rosalie, considering how difficult it had been with Tanya, Izzy and Jessica. I think I'd been expecting her to be exactly the same way as the others. Treating me as though I were an inconvenience to their daily life, rather than giving me the benefit of the doubt and making an effort to get to know me. It was a pleasant suprise.

"So are you and Emmett . . ."

"Oh, no," she laughed, stopping me before I'd even managed to get the question out. "I'm dating Edward Masen, he's Emmett's best friend, so Emmett and I are good friends."

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't meant to . . . that makes sense I guess."

It didn't make sense at all, considering the way she looked at Emmett when he showed up, but I wasn't going to ruin the only hope I had for a friend in the first twenty minutes of interacting with her. Yet, I hadn't seen her interact with Edward, so I couldn't be certain of my assumption.

Emmett had three drinks set on the bar in the corner of the room Rosalie led us into and gave me a smile.

"Well that looks considerably more comfortable."

"Very much so," I laughed, taking a big step forward. "I can actually walk in it."

We made ourselves comfortable against the bar, and Emmett took a huge mouthful of his drink, making my eyes widen.

"So, Bella, tell me about yourself."

"What would you like to know?"

"Well, Emmett said you grew up in New Iberia. What was that like?"

"Hot," I grinned. "Mostly though, it was really quiet. I've always had my best friend Leah in my life, and I think that's the hardest part about leaving. It's a small town so nothing all that exciting ever happened."

"What do you guys do for fun out there?" Rosalie asked, taking a sip of her drink and almost spitting it out. "How much Vodka did you put in that, Emmett?"

"Half and half," he laughed, winking and handing me my glass. "Drink up, Bella. It'll kick those nerves in the ass."

I took the glass from him with trepidation. I wasn't a saint by any means -- Leah, Jacob and I had stolen alcohol from his dad's house more often than I cared to remember, but I trusted them implicitly, and we never really got all that crazy with it. I could honestly say I'd only even been shitfaced drunk a couple times in my life, and it was something I had no interest in repeating often. Especially not with people I didn't know that well. I figured, if I milked this drink all night, I'd be left alone.

I took a sip and immediately shuddered as the liquor over-powered the taste of the orange juice he'd put in it. The bitter burn coated my throat as I tried not to react.

"See it's not just me," Rosalie laughed, taking another sip and shuddering.

There was a knock at the door, and Rosalie disappeared to open it, leaving Emmett and I alone in the room again.

"Don't drink much?"

"Not really, but I do drink. Leah, Jacob and I normally stick to beer and bourbon."

"Jack or Jim?"

"Jack."

"Very nice," Emmett chuckled, taking a huge mouthful of his drink.

Rosalie came back in with the blond guy, who was followed by Peter, Jessica and Izzy. I tried not to groan audibly, especially when I saw the look Izzy was giving me. Peter almost looked disappointed in the change of wardrobe, but again, I ignored it and tried to believe I was imagining things.

"Oh God, what are you wearing now? I should have known you'd embarrass us," Izzy drawled, dropping her purse on the leather couch that sat against one of the walls.

"Excuse me?" Rosalie said, her eyes wide as she turned on Izzy.

"What? The bayou rat is showing her hideous taste in clothes. I would have figured you, of all people, would have noticed, Rose. Your fashion sense is impeccable."

"Yes, which is why I take offense to that statement, Elizabeth. That's my dress your ragging on, and quite frankly, I am not impressed with your insulting it or my guest."

Izzy stood with her mouth open as her eyes moved between Rosalie and me. I was waiting for the back peddling, but it never came; she seemed to shrug it off and whisper something to Jessica, who snorted like a wild hog in a burlap sack.

The tall blond guy approached Emmett and me and threw himself onto the stool Rosalie had been occupying. His sapphire blue eyes shone with curiosity as they moved between Izzy and me.

"It's kinda strange, huh?" Emmett laughed, handing him a drink. "Confused the shit out of me."

"It's fucking wild, they're identical, except for the eyes and the hair," he said, shaking his head in disbelief before remembering himself. "Sorry, I'm Jasper Whitlock, and you're Bella, right?"

I nodded and gave him a smile. The fact that the guy had walked over me the day I had fallen on my ass seemed to elude his memory as he continued to grin at the two of us. He was gorgeous, under the mop of blond hair was an almost flawless face. His blue eyes seemed to sparkle mischievously.

"Ok, forgive me for being a rude and inconsiderate bastard, but twins."

"You're sick, Jay, a sick, sick man."

"Oh come on, you're telling me, if you weren't their step-brother, you wouldn't be thinking the same thing?"

"Ew," I said, backing away from the guy who was beaming at me. I knew a lot of men had that kind of fantasy. I may have grown up in a small town, but men were men wherever you went and most of them had the same ideals. This though, this was gross.

"I'm really sorry, please don't go. I'll behave myself; I promise," he laughed, holding up both of his hands in surrender. "It's out there now, I will drop it. I promise."

I couldn't help but smile at him as he gave me a cute grin, the tips of his white teeth digging into his bottom lip. I tried to eye him suspiciously but failed miserably.

"I couldn't resist, I always say what's on my mind, but this is the first time I've offered an apology for it."

"It's true, he's a dick," Emmett chuckled, slapping him on the shoulder.

"I wouldn't go that far."

"I would," Izzy said, dancing up to the bar, pulling Jessica along behind her.

"Of course you would," Jasper said, his voice changing from the playful manner he was talking to me with to an ice-edged brutality. "You're a bitch."

"Yeah, and I make no apologies for that." Her eyes cut across to me before she pulled a bottle of vodka from the bar and strode off. She was making it difficult to like her, even if she was my sister.

"How do you live with that shit, man?"

"You learn to ignore it."

"Fuck that. What about you, Bella?"

I shrugged my shoulders and took a mouthful of my drink, trying to avoid the question. I didn't know how to deal with her; I'd only been around her for a couple of hours, which hardly gave me a chance to figure any of that out. Jasper laughed before pouring himself another drink and turning to start a conversation with Emmett.

I looked around the room that was slowly filling up with people I'd never seen before in my life. Some of them were watching me curiously and others just seemed more interested in the conversations they were having with their friends. The only person I couldn't see was Peter and could only imagine he'd skipped out early. He hadn't seemed that happy about Jessica was fawning over him when they'd arrived.

I found Rosalie amongst the sea of people and gave her a smile; she was talking to a dark haired boy and didn't seem that happy about it either. I was about to head over and attempt to save her when she was pulled away and into the arms of the most handsome guy I'd ever laid eyes on. He was tall, his body reminiscent of an athlete, with a mass of reddish brown waves that seemed to have no particular style other than to simply lay where they wished. I could see how green his eyes were from where I was standing across the room. They sparkled gently as he pulled Rosalie into his chest and dipped low to press his lips against hers.

I wanted to turn away and not watch like some creepy voyeur, but it was difficult. He slid his nose along her jaw as his lips peppered kisses against the skin below it. Rosalie was smiling as her hands linked behind his neck and she pushed her lips against his again, drinking him in as though he were the answer to every question she'd ever asked.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, turning from the scene in front of me so I didn't get caught gawking at them like a love struck teenager.

"Masen," Emmett yelled over me, holding up a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Get your ass over here and drink."

"Smooth, Emmett," Jasper laughed, lining up shot glasses on the bar. "That wasn't obvious."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't. You figure that one out?"

"Me?" I asked, taking the last mouthful of my drink, wishing I'd slowed down a little.

"No, the ghost behind you."

"Ha, Ha, Ha." I grinned, rolling my eyes. "No, I have no idea what that was about."

"See, you have it all wrong," Emmett laughed, sloshing the bottle over the glasses to fill them up. "Right, Bella, you're up."

"A shot?"

"You have a knack for stating the obvious, don't you?" Jasper laughed, sliding off the stool and picking up two shots and handing one to me.

"Well, if you didn't speak in tongues it wouldn't be such an issue would it?"

"I'll speak to you in tongues," Jasper laughed, wiggling his eyebrows.

"In your dreams, horn-ball," I reciprocated.

"You've been here, what, an hour? And you already have his personality figured out," Edward said, stepping forward and grabbing two glasses. "I'm Edward, and you're very obviously, Bella."

"That's me," I answered, my eyes on Rosalie as I tried to smile. I would hate to think she could figure out the impure thoughts that I'd had about her boyfriend as he'd kissed her.

Edward raised his glass, his eyes catching mine before he looked away again. "Here's to twins, let's hope they're not as similar as they look."

Ignoring the toast, I knocked back the shot quickly and slammed the glass on the counter while the fire eased down my throat and warmed my chest and stomach. I didn't shudder this time, though, Jack I was used to.

"Another," Rosalie laughed, snuggling into Edward's chest as she scrunched up her eyes and giggled.

Emmett filled up the glasses, and I took mine again, hoping the toast wouldn't be aimed at me. "To bitches and breeding," Edward said this time, starting the shot wave. I threw mine back and placed the glass back on the bar before excusing myself.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Rosalie asked, but I never heard the answer; I was already pushing my way through the crowd and toward the stairs. I wanted to change and get the hell out of there. I let myself into Rosalie's room, thinking about how rude it was but not really caring at that point.

I was pulling up the zipper on the skirt when there was a light knock at the door. Thankfully, the only thing I had left to do was the shoes.

"Come in," I called out, sitting on the bed and pulling on the torturous heels.

"Do you do this often?" Jasper chuckled, shutting the door behind him.

"Do what?"

"Change in the middle of a party. You look great but it seems a little wasteful of a perfectly good dress."

"It's Rosalie's, I didn't want to leave in it."

"You're leaving?"

"I promised myself the moment I felt uncomfortable I was out," I sighed, pulling on the second shoe. I felt the bed move next to me as Jasper's weight created a dip beside me.

"Yeah that was an asshole move on his part, I'm sorry about that. You really don't have to leave though."

I didn't answer, but I turned my head to look at the handsome guy sitting next to me. It occurred to me that I should be dubious about his presence, but I felt oddly at peace with him here. Almost as though there was no threat involved. He gave me a grin and pointed at my chest where the shirt was showing my cleavage.

Heat rose to my cheeks, I sat upright and rearranged my shirt, cursing the stupid thing as I forced it to sit right on my chest.

"You're blushing," Jasper laughed, his fingertips brushing my cheeks. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"No it's fine. I appreciate it, thanks."

"You're really gonna go?" he asked, turning his body so he was facing me.

"I think I should, I feel awkward and . . ." I was unable to finish the sentence, because Jasper pushed his fingers against my lips and then squeezed them closed between his forefinger and thumb. It wasn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but I could feel my lips curling around the obstruction into a smile.

"That's better. Now change and come back downstairs, or come as you are. Either way don't leave. The party's only just beginning, and considering you're the guest of honor, we kind of need you there. I promise, anyone else starts shit, and I'll say something."

He released my lips and waited for an answer, his smile wide.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know I don't, but I'm hoping we'll be friends, and friends look out for one another, so let's go have some fun."

I nodded and stood up.

"Okay, I have a request."

"What's that?"

"Don't change your clothes," he chuckled, standing up and putting both his hands on my shoulders. "Being taller than you, I have a really good view."

"You always this forward?" I laughed, looking up into the pools of sapphire that were still sparkling, even though they were slightly more glazed than the last time I had looked into them.

"Yes, it's a blessing and a curse, and it's a part of me you'll learn to love."

I shook my head and laughed. Even as forward as he was, I appreciated that he was making an effort. He grinned at me hopefully and offered me his hand, tilting his head to make the point I should take it. I obliged, still feeling oddly comfortable with this horny but sweet guy who seemed to have taken me under his wing. If nothing else came out of tonight, I was glad I had made myself a friend.

* * *

**A/N: I am thinking I should probably hide!! I know it's not what you expected at all from Mr. Edward Masen. This _is_ a Bella and Edward story. I have tried to be pretty upfront with that lol, I just didn't state under what circumstances or when they would be together. *Ducks from the things being thrown***

**Things will work out, but please bare with me. I know some of the stuff in the next dozen chapters or so may be hard for some people to swallow, and that's fine I can appreciate that completely, but things will work out.**

**Thank you as always to my amazing beta, Annabanana, she not only fixes the atrocious grammar and punctuation, but also fills in the holes when it comes to facts. She's awesome!!!**

**Thanks as always to the plot bunnies/handholders, Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and hev99. Without these ladies I would be a trembling mess in the corner!! Yes I am that co-dependent lol.**

**Thank you to all of you that review. You are all awesome and you have no idea how much your comments mean to me. You make me smile and giggle and I love you all for it. Thank you!!**

**Much love, Big Hugz ~Weezy**


	11. Chalk and Cheese

_**All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, a couple plot point belong to V.C. Andrews and the rest is from my warped imagination. Happy Tuesday!**_

* * *

**Chalk and Cheese**

_Black valley, peace beneath the city  
Where the white girls wander the strip mall, singing all day  
"Give me a juggernaut heart and a Japanese car and someone to free"  
_

_**Peace Beneath the City - Iron and Wine**_

* * *

Days passed quickly with my new allies. I spent more time with Emmett as I waited for the weekend to near. Leah had confirmed she was definitely coming when I called her to tell her about the party. She was intrigued about the way I described Jasper and Edward.

I wasn't a prude by any means, but even with the brief relationships I'd had, I'd never really been all that enthusiastic about the guys. Leah knew the moment I started talking about them that something was different. She knew me too well to not see the distinction.

She arrived on Friday morning, and before she'd even made it in the door, she was shuffled around the side of the house and into Tanya's flashy SUV. Tanya had made sure to take us to the mall early so she could spend time with 'the ladies' as they were known. She had complained that it was cutting into her schedule up until we arrived at the mall. She seemed to be in her element there, throwing clothes at me then demanding I try them on; she also seemed to enjoy dressing Leah just as much and picked out colors and styles that matched her complexion.

After forty five minutes of her coaching us about our styles and colors, she watched for fifteen minutes to decide whether we'd mastered her vision for us. Apparently, we'd done well because she told us she had to run some errands and that we were to meet her by the front doors in four hours time. She'd given me one of her credit cards and told us both to pick out what we wanted. When Leah had argued she'd simply stated that she would not have a guest in her house dressed like a hobo. Thankfully, I had dragged Leah away before she could respond.

Leah and I did stick to what she'd asked us to do, but we also went against her in some ways, picking out things we could wear at home where her beady eyes wouldn't be watching over us. Leah didn't buy too much more, much like me she hated the thought of spending so much money on things you could buy in other stores for half of what we were spending here.

By the time Tanya picked us up, we couldn't carry many more bags.

"Do I have to do everything myself?" Tanya sighed, turning in her seat. "You should have double that by now. What have you been doing for the last four hours?"

Leah's mouth fell open with the slight, but it soon gave way to a smirk as she smoothed her hair and looked pointedly at Tanya. My eyes followed hers, and I saw what she was looking at, the crown of Tanya's head looked as though it had been back combed.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, rather than stated. My voice had gone up an octave because of the mental picture I'd gotten from the scene in front of me.

"Isabella, do you have no idea how things work? I'm going to have to send you and Elizabeth out again soon. Maybe you could learn some things from her. It is the one thing she's good at."

"I don't think we could have carried much more, Mrs. Cullen," Leah interjected, her eyes hard; she'd been here for five hours and we'd been shopping the entire time. She hadn't even brought her bags in from the car yet, I could only imagine how frayed her nerves were becoming from the spade tongued woman in the front seat.

"You two have a lot to learn, that's why you take the bags to the valet service and tell them to hold them for you."

"We had no idea," I said, trying to keep my tone light. There was no point in trying to argue with her, she seemed to have a predetermined opinion of me that she wasn't willing to change now. It was sad to think I had a permanent battle on my hands, but there wasn't much I could do to change her mind.

"Too late now."

"Maybe Bella and I could go again tomorrow, take my car so we can drop things off as we shop," Leah added pointedly. I knew what she was doing, she was inadvertently accusing Tanya of being gone. Surreptitiously pointing fingers in hopes it would shut Tanya up. Leah was always good at pointing things out like that. She could fight her battles with quick witted comments that left no room for argument and this time was no different.

Tanya didn't even acknowledge the accusation, she simply agreed with Leah's assessment.

We followed her into the kitchen with our arms so full of bags we had to slide in sideways to clear it. Carlisle was seemingly waiting for us in the kitchen as we entered, his smile wide as the crackle of the bags filled the silent room.

"Looks like you girls had fun."

"We did, thank you," I offered with a smile. "And thanks for taking us, Tanya."

Tanya ignored me, but kissed Carlisle on the lips as she passed, wiping the excess lipstick from his bottom lip as she went. "I'm off to get ready. Not sure how late we'll be out it's margarita night at Kate's."

Carlisle nodded but it was the only acknowledgment he gave her, and she didn't seem to notice either as she continued out of the room. One of the things I'd noticed since being here was the constant lack of communication between them, it seemed that no one really talked about anything, just informed the others what they were doing and what to expect. I didn't know how anything got done with an attitude like that.

"Leah," Carlisle spoke, bringing the attention back to him as the situation was pushed to the wayside. "Bella speaks of you often, it's nice to finally meet you."

"You too, Dr. Cullen."

Carlisle smiled as we put the bags down and Leah offered her hand; he took it without hesitation, comfortable with the formality of the gesture. Something that neither of us had figured out yet.

"I hope you don't mind, Bella, but I took the liberty of ordering you a bank card after you agreed to come and stay. I know you don't particularly like the idea, but it would put my mind at ease knowing you have money should you want or need it. Emmett also made a good suggestion to save you both some time," he said, picking up a bag and pushing it at me awkwardly. The name on the side instantly gave away his gesture. "He said that you missed one another and we thought this may make the adjustment a little less . . . uncomfortable."

"You didn't have to do that," I grinned, wondering if he would object to the hug that I felt the need to give him. The lines between us were still slightly blurred considering we were so unfamiliar with one another.

"I wanted to, the two of you have grown up together, it's to make you both more accessible to one another, and a gesture of good will to Leah so she'd know we're not trying to steal you," he laughed and winked at Leah, who did nothing but giggle.

I took my chances and stepped forward, wrapping my arms awkwardly around his waist. I was surprised how comfortable he seemed to be with the gesture, his arms wrapping around my shoulders as he squeezed gently.

"Thank you," I said into his chest before stepping back to look up at him.

"You're welcome, I know how different this all is for you."

"'Thank you, Dr. Cullen, it's a very sweet thought."

It was then that Peter decided to make an appearance. His eyes widening as he drank in Leah from the top of her head to her toes. I wasn't sure how he managed it, but he seemed able to give off the mental image that he was staring at you with nothing at all on. It made me uncomfortable, but Leah seemed to choose to ignore him.

"Well, I have a trustees dinner this evening, but maybe we can all do dinner tomorrow night?"

I nodded and stepped out of his arms, taking the hint that he had to get going. I stepped toward Leah and offered him one last smile as he excused himself, leaving us alone with Peter in the otherwise empty kitchen.

"Your dad is really good at that," Peter said in the same bored tone he'd used every other time he'd addressed me.

"Good at what?" I sighed, my resolution to just ignore him crumbling.

"Buying affection. He wants to get to know you, so he'll start by buying you things so you have a common ground to talk about."

Leah stepped around me in a defensive movement, her body rigid with anger as she appraised the guy standing, staring into the refrigerator. "What's your problem?"

Peter turned around, one side of his mouth curled up in a smile as his eyes appraised Leah's legs. His eyes had the ability to make my skin crawl. "What's your name?"

"None of your goddamn business," Leah snapped, her legs bending as she picked up the bags she'd dropped around her. Peter's head cocked to the side and he ran his tongue along his bottom lip hungrily. "And I would advise you to watch your eyes kid, Bella is a lot more forgiving than I am."

Peter laughed and pulled a bottle of water out of the refrigerator, never taking his eyes from Leah. "I like your friend, Bella. I'm hoping we get to meet again."

"Nice, Peter," I sighed, picking up my bags and shuddering as I felt his eyes on my ass. "Have a nice night."

Leah and I made a quick exit, holding in our reactions until we were out of earshot.

"He's creepy, Bells. I hope you lock your door at night."

"He makes my skin crawl," I admitted, giving off one last shudder before we reached the stairs.

We didn't get very far. It seemed that the house was fully occupied today, all of the Cullen's seemed to be hanging around the house and popping out when the heard the new voice.

"Leah, you made it," Emmett crowed as he stepped out of the living room.

"Emmett, nice to see you again," Leah laughed, dropping the bags and offering him a hug. It seemed Emmett had that effect on people; he'd made the gesture when he'd come to pick me up, but Leah reciprocating now was still a bit of a shock.

"You girls need some help?" Emmett offered as he released Leah, stepped to me and punched my shoulder gently.

"If you wanna grab those, I still have to get my stuff from my car," Leah said, nodding to the bags she'd just discarded.

"That little yellow thing out there yours?"

"It is." Leah beamed proudly, digging in her purse for her keys before throwing it over my neck and heading toward the door. "Wait for me though, I have no idea where I'm going."

She dashed out the front door, pulling it to behind her as she went. Emmett picked up all the bags from the floor with one hand and gave me a grin. "You wanna do dinner tonight? Jasper's bored, Edward and Rosie are doing some date night thing and Peter - well, he's Peter, who the fuck knows what he gets up to?"

"Sure, I don't think we have anything else planned."

"Oh, and you have a package on your bed, be prepared to cry, we all got one."

"What is it?" I didn't think I could handle any more gifts, especially after Peter's comment in the kitchen. I could see the truth behind his words, but in no way did that mean I agreed with him. The bond between Carlisle and me was still so new, and I wasn't a step child, I was part of him, his blood pulsed through my veins.

Of course Emmett's answer threw me completely off guard. Whatever fleeting thought I'd had, I was nowhere close to the unhappy surprise Emmett had spoiled.

"Uniform," Emmett groaned, rolling his eyes. "At least the girls get more options than we do."

"We wear uniforms?" I hadn't even thought about that when Carlisle had told me it was a private school. In fact, I'd thought that was the idea behind the shopping trip today. Apparently, I had been so very wrong, and Tanya had wanted to shape me for general appearance.

Emmett laughed, not answering me as the front door opened again and revealed Leah with her bags.

"What's so funny?"

"You'll see," Emmett answered, heading toward the stairs.

Leah gave me a look, but followed behind Emmett rather than questioning me and the look of utter horror I was sure was on my face. Her smile made it obvious that she realized it was humiliation rather than morality based.

It wasn't until we reached my room that I realized why Emmett had offered his chivalrous services. I could see his amusement at Leah's reaction the moment she saw the room. Her reaction was much like mine, mouth open with shock as her bags landed with a quiet thud on the hard wood floors. The natural light of the windows were constantly filling the room, the huge bed with the new frame looked just as inviting as it had when I'd first stepped in the room. Leah took off and launched herself onto the bed with a quiet squeal of delight.

"This is your room?" she asked when she'd finally stopped bouncing long enough to quiet her giggles. "Not too shabby, Bells."

Emmett chuckled behind me and placed the bags off to the side before stepping further into the room to stand next to me. For being a member of this family, his enjoyment of Leah's reaction seemed out of place. Nevertheless, I didn't doubt the genuineness of his reaction -- it suited him.

"You should see Izzy's room, it's like Rainbow Bright threw up in there. Mom almost did the same in here, but Carlisle and I convinced her to tone it down a bit, figured Bella wasn't a pink kinda girl."

"She's not but it would have been hilarious to see her reaction."

I held my hand up in front of my face and waved it around before punching Emmett in the arm.

"What was that for?"

"I'm trying to break you of the habit of talking about me like I'm not in the room."

Emmett's dimples were the first indication of his smile, and Leah fell into her usual laughter on the bed. She rolled onto her back as it subsided, and I took my opportunity while I had it. I took off toward the bed and sprang at Leah as though I was aiming for her. She curled into a ball the moment I got close, but I managed to pull off what I was attempting to do and bounced over her easily.

Our hands and legs went to work quickly as we fought to push one another off the bed, our laughs and shouts muffled by our squeals and laughter. It took us both a while to realize that the booming laugh of Emmett was almost subdued to a chuckle.

"You know, if Bella wasn't my sister i could be the luckiest guy on the face of the planet. You wouldn't believe how many teenage boy fantasies revolve around pillow fights. I just can't wrap my head around the Bella is my sister thing though."

Leah and I looked at one another and burst into fits of laughter. Only Emmett could get away with saying something that eluded to our play fighting as something sexual and not make us feel weird about it. In most ways, he was my brother and as he'd said himself, I couldn't look at him as anything but that now.

He shook his head and pulled one of the pillows from the couch and threw it at us. "I'm going to call Jay, maybe you two should start getting ready, I know how long it takes chicks to get dressed."

"I'll bet we can be ready before you are," Leah challenged, raising her eyebrows.

"You sure you want to make a bet you can't win?"

"Oh we can win," Leah said, raising her eyebrows. Her head turned to me and she winked with her tongue between her teeth. "Especially if Bella and I decide to conserve water."

Emmett made a choking noise from where he was standing that only made Leah and I fall into a torrent of laughter that neither of us could stop.

"You're trouble together, Jay is going to have a field day with the two of you," Emmett said, shaking his head, bringing another bout of giggles from Leah and me. "At least it won't be boring."

Emmett turned around and headed for the stairs, his smile and shaking head indicating that he was still highly entertained at the thought of the evening ahead. Leah and I were known for pushing our luck with Jacob, but this comfort we had with Emmett was new to us both and, more than anything, proved to me that my sibling relationship with Emmett was something tangible, a bond held in place by our similarities, rather than the tenuous thread that could snap at anytime between myself and the other two.

"Be ready by seven, we're riding with Jasper tonight."

Leah and I waved him off as the dissonance of our laughter quieted a little. Rather than pushing, we were both flat on our back, dragging in the air to try and stop the ache in our ribs as the click of the door sounded from the bottom of the stairs.

"He's more fun than Jake to play with," Leah sighed, twisting her body as she tried to work the kinks out of her side. "And Jay . . . that wouldn't be Jasper would it?"

"Oh don't start that, Lee," I groaned, trying to sit up, my ribs aching slightly from the laughter.

"Start what?" she asked innocently, bouncing to the edge of the bed. "I was just curious. What are you hiding, Miss Swan?"

"I'm not hiding a thing," I answered, tugging on her hair playfully. "Just don't start anything, Emmett was right about Jasper having a field day."

"We'll see . . ." Leah smirked.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that. Leah had seen that as a challenge, and although it would make for a highly entertaining evening, it was also bound to leave an impression. I was confident with Leah around; I was myself and unafraid of making an ass of myself because I knew she loved me regardless. When she wasn't there, it was a different story; I was unsure of how I would be received, I didn't have the security of knowing that I was loved regardless of what I said and did in the moment, I didn't have her to cover my mouth and shut me up before I went too far, even if she did finish the sentence off in a whisper and an 'I know.'

Leah ate her words the minute she got in the shower. Thankfully, I had enough sense to hop in before her, knowing that she would find the falling water as irresistible as I had the first time I had climbed in there. I was sitting at the vanity doing my hair and makeup as she showered. Her comments making me have to stop periodically to regain my composure from the fits of laughter she constantly had me in. By the time I was finished, I had to reach in and turn the water off so she would get out of there.

I'd hung up all of my new clothes before jumping in the shower, and it didn't take me long to find something to wear. I dressed quickly and started playing with my new phone. Carlisle had labeled the boxes and when I opened them I saw why. My phonebook already had the numbers of all the family members and Leah, and I could only assume Emmett had found access to the phones too because I had the numbers to Rosalie, Jasper, Edward and some other people I remembered meeting at the party. It was, however, the picture attached to his number that tipped the scale. It was a picture of my bedroom door with his hand flicking it off.

"What are you smiling at, Whore?"

I showed Leah the phone which immediately had her pulling hers out to check the picture he'd attached to hers. Hers had a picture of her car, him at the driver's side window pretending to break in.

"He's such a dork," she laughed. Holding up the phone to take a picture of me.

"What are you doing?"

"It's for your contact page, you look hot," she smirked, hitting the screen and grinning. "It wouldn't be for _Jasper_, would it?"

"Okay, I am changing and getting into bed," I sighed, standing up and tugging the buttons of my shirt open.

"Oh shut up, you wouldn't do that to me."

"Oh wouldn't I?" I asked, undoing another button and heading toward the closet.

"Oh come on you whore," she laughed, tugging the strands of my hair so I stumbled backward. "I promise, no more innuendo."

"You give up far too easily," I laughed, redoing the buttons on the front of the shirt as I looked at the clock. "Come on, time to go."

I picked up my bag and made my way to the stairs, wobbling down them as I gripped the railings for dear life. I was sure I would regret wearing the heels, but Tanya had threatened me, in no uncertain terms, that if she saw me in anything other than pyjama's without heels, she would cut up all my tennis shoes and flip flops so I wouldn't be tempted to wear them again. Considering I was quite attached to my own shoes, I was following the rules under duress.

I fell through the door at the bottom of the stairs, laughing hard as I almost knocked someone over. Leah's laughter echoed behind me.

"Shut up, bitch," I laughed without thinking about it. My mouth snapped shut as I looked up into my mirror image.

"Ahh ya whore, you look drunk," Leah laughed, stepping out the door. She froze the moment she saw the double image in front of her. "Shit, that's insane."

"Watch where you're going, and you may want to rein in the other bayou rat you dragged in."

"Excuse me?" Leah snapped, her sense of humor evaporating in record time. "You may want to watch how you talk to me. You may have Bella's face, but I'm not beyond slapping the shit out of you."

"Nice friend, you may look the part but you still sound common," Izzy snapped, her heels staccato against the wood floor as she walked away.

"Oh my God, I can see her roots," Leah stage whispered, making the laughter bubble in my chest. I tried to hide my face as Elizabeth's hand instinctively moved to her hair, but it was useless. Leah snorted beside me and hummed "You're so vain" as she looped her arm with mine and moved us toward the stairs.

"She's gonna make my life miserable," I sighed as I finally managed to get the laugh out of my voice.

"I'm sorry, but I don't like the other you, she's rude."

"I know, but I have to play nice."

"I don't, and anyway, there's no rules to this. There's no right way of handling it. What's to say that you being passive aggressive isn't giving her all the power? So she runs to daddy and makes Bella the bad guy, you think he doesn't know how manipulative and conniving his own daughter is?"

"Lee, I just want a chance to get to know her."

"Why?" Leah laughed, stopping us when we reached the foyer. "She's nothing compared to you. All you have to do is be yourself; you've never said something that cruel to anyone. I mean, even when that horrid girl from Lafayette was dating Jared before he met Kim, she was a nasty piece of work, and even when she stole your bracelet from the bathroom you didn't yell or scream and call her names when you would have been more than justified to do it."

"That was different though," I laughed, nudging her shoulder with mine. "You did all that for me."

"Yeah well, she deserved it. She was sleeping with most of the boys in the senior class, and poor Jared had no idea."

We both laughed at the memory. It was the last time she'd ever come to our small community, especially since Jared had dropped her like a bad habit when Leah had called her out in front of all our friends.

"Who's this then?"

I looked up and blushed scarlet as Jasper stepped out of the living room and leaned against the door frame. He looked even better than he had the other night, his shaggy blond hair falling into his eyes as his lean, sinewy body moved gently under his shirt as he flexed his muscles.

"Hey, Jasper," I forced out with a smile. "This is Leah, she's been my best friend since birth."

"Good to meet you, Leah," Jasper offered, flashing his perfect smile. "Would you be the one I talk to in order to convince Bella to make her blush like that somewhere private?"

"Oh Jesus, you weren't lying were you?" Leah laughed.

"She talked about me? I guess that's a start at least."

Leah looked between us, her eyes sparkling under her dark lashes as her mind went to work. It wasn't a look I enjoyed, and I knew nothing good could possibly come of it. Leah was dangerous when she got this look, and I could only imagine what was coming next.

It never came though, either Emmett's arrival interrupted the plan in action or she was lying in wait for the perfect moment to bring it into light. I wasn't sure which terrified me more.

"Ready to go?" Emmett asked, moving to the door, eyeing Leah with the same curiosity that I felt.

"I'm always ready to go," Jasper laughed, his smile infectious. I couldn't help but laugh at him, spending all my time with him at the party had desensitized me to his crude sense of humor and constant innuendos. I almost expected it from him.

"Where are we going?" I asked, finally curious. It wasn't as though I'd seen a lot of the city since I'd been here. It was mostly the garden district. Not that I was complaining.

"Well, we're going to eat, then I have a friend who started Tulane this year, there's a couple parties going on around the area."

"You're taking us to college parties?"

"Not technically, it's more private parties. People who rent houses around the campus; he met a couple sophomore chicks and they invited him and his friends."

"Us being the friends?" Leah asked with a grin.

"Garrett's a good guy, he's fun and it's free beer."

"I'm in," Leah said, nudging me.

"Me too."

"Excellent, then let's go eat."

Thankfully Emmett sat up front with Jasper, while Leah and I sat in the back talking quietly as she communicated how hot Jasper was without saying a word.

Dinner went somewhat normally; it wasn't until Jasper dropped his fork twice that I realized exactly what Leah's plan had been. The first time, she sat quietly, eating and chatting with Emmett and me as her eyes watched Jasper. It was like she could read him, as though she was expecting it.

The second time, I felt Leah's hand high on my thigh squeezing. I looked over at her wide eyed, but she nodded at Jasper; instantly Emmett and I bit back our laughter, trying with everything we could to keep a straight face, when he popped back up, his eyes flickering between Leah and me.

He didn't go under the table again, but we could feel his eyes in the rear view mirror at every red light on the way to the party. The third time he did it, Leah leaned closer to me, her mouth inches from my ear.

"He's so easy to fuck with, just bite your lip like I'm saying something suggestive, then giggle."

I bit my lip and improvised with the giggle, my hand running through my hair as I rolled my eyes. It was a corporeal joke to be playing, but I could see the reactions it was getting from Jasper, and it took everything in me not to laugh.

"You have to be fucking with me."

"What?" Emmett laughed then looked back at us with his eyes wide. I could see him trying as hard as he could to not laugh. "Oh, they do that. You should have seen it earlier man, they had a pillow fight."

"Shut the fuck up."

"You think I'm fucking with you?"

"Yeah, I think you're fucking with me, I think you all are."

Leah, Emmett and I burst into laughter as the car behind us honked with contempt. I wasn't sure how long the light had been green, but it seemed it had been a while, considering the length of the horn blare.

"Sorry, Jay," Emmett laughed, clapping him on the shoulder, his smile wide. "I told you they were wild together."

"So the pillow fight . . ." Jasper asked, disappointment evident in his tone.

"That was the truth," Emmett answered, "But they were fully dressed and not so many pillows were involved."

"You just killed the visual, couldn't you have, I dunno, lied?"

The comment sent another wave of raucous laughter through the car, but we were laughing together this time. It lightened the atmosphere that had steadily grown with Jasper's sexual tension.

The party wasn't everything it was cracked up to be. There was a keg and music, but the four of us had more fun together than branching out and interacting with the other people there. Leah and Emmett were dancing in the middle of the room while Jasper and I hung out on the couch.

"So where was this Bella the other night?" Jasper asked, taking a mouthful of beer as his other arm slid around my shoulder.

"I was there, but I didn't know anybody. When Edward started commenting with his toasts, I'd had enough."

"I probably wasn't helping then," Jasper said, squeezing my shoulder and offering me a smile. "I know I talk a lot of shit, but I have a feeling you see through that."

"I do," I laughed. " I also saw that you bent over backwards to make me feel included."

"Anyone who can manage Emmett the way you do can't be half bad."

"Emmett?"

"Yeah, Emmett. He has a heart of gold, and he has tried to keep Izzy included as much as he can, but he does talk shit about her. He's not a puppy dog; he can only take so much. With you, he's protective like most brothers would be. He gave Edward shit for what he said to you, he wouldn't have done that for Izzy."

"Is she really as bad as people make her out to be?"

"If Emmett told you she was bad, you can probably square that and multiply it by a hundred. Why? You think you can crack her?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, turning on the couch so we were facing one another. Jasper's arm dropped from my shoulder and sat between us on my knee.

"The icy veneer. I think Emmett's nice to her because, underneath all of that talk, he believes there's someone who feels."

"What do you think?"

"Me?" Jasper laughed, his eyebrows raising.

"No the drunk guy throwing up on the lawn."

"I think she's a cold hearted bitch who thinks about one person, herself."

I closed my eyes and thought about the words he'd used. They were similar to the ones I used to describe Renée on more than one occasion.

"I'm sorry, I should have kept my mouth shut," Jasper said, picking up my hand and squeezing it. This was the first time I'd ever seen him this serious.

"No, I was just thinking of someone she reminded me of," I smiled. "Why don't we drop that topic of conversation and move on to something else?"

"Like you dancing with me?"

"I don't dance," I laughed, fighting to get out of the grip on my hand he was using to pull me from my seat.

"I don't believe that for a second, get your ass up and dance with me before you give me a complex."

"What's the matter? Don't deal well with rejection?"

"You're not rejecting me." Jasper pulled me with more effort this time; the heels seemed to work against me rather than with me, giving him the advantage.

"Oh really?" I laughed, my hands on his arms, trying to focus on the conversation rather than the feel of his muscles tensing and relaxing under my grip.

"Yes, really. If we're going to be friends . . . which we already are because you take my bullshit in your stride - then you're going to have to get used to being my unofficial official date, which means dancing and hugging, and making with the fake loving."

I threw my head back and laughed, letting him guide me onto the dance floor.

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**A/N: I know there wasn't much progress in this chapter, but I needed to establish Bella and her new circle of friends and how they include Leah in their stride. Leah has kind of established some of her own rules, and in giving Bella her confidence, has cemented Bella's friendship with both Emmett and Jasper.**

**I have to admit, I've been having fun with this Jasper in the last couple chapters and I'm so happy that most of you enjoyed him, and unfortunately I am not currently accepting bribes to make it a Jasper x Bella story lol. **

**Thank you to my wonderful beta, Annabanana, who corrects my horrific grammar and punctuation. If only there was a life beta!! I think it would help me out!!**

**Thanks to my prereaders/handholders/plot bunnies miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and hev99. All three of them are amazing writers, and I am so honored that they take time out to read through chapters for me. I love them dearly and would be a snotsnobbing mess without them!! Love you ladies :)**

**i would also like to thank the ladies on the forum, in particular dizziestdaydream and Salix Caprea. both of them always have the most amazing comments and they ask the best questions. Thank you both for being so fabulous.**

**I would also like to thank the reviewers. All of you make me smile, and I love that you seem to enjoy the characters as much as I do. Your comments and questions are all amazing and i love each and every one of you for taking the time out to let me know what you think. Each and every one of you are amazing.**

**The blog was updated last night so all that and the chapter song should be available. **

**Much love and huge hugs ~Weezy~**


	12. New Kid In School

_**All things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer and some of the plot points belong to V.C. Andrews, the rest is all in my mind. Strange things imaginations!!!**_

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**New Kid In School**

_I will be the one to pull you through the mirror  
before you come, before you come undone  
Strange Times are Here  
**Strange Times - The Black Keys**_

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The time Leah spent with me seemed to pass by too quickly, and before I knew it, it was Sunday evening and she was packing her bags.

Her being here had made it fun, all of my fear and trepidation pushed to the wayside as she managed to distract me as she always had when things got hard. Her friendship with Emmett had grown to camaraderie in the short amount of time she'd been here. She was happy that he was willing to look after me to her standards, because she knew he wouldn't let me be objectified by the less than enthusiastic majority of the house.

We spent most of Sunday in my room, watching movies with Emmett. The mood was somber, and even Emmett seemed disappointed that she was leaving so soon. We'd all gone out to the French Quarter on Saturday, Emmett and Jasper taking us to get fake ID's so we could gamble in the Casino the next time she came into town. After that, we'd gone to dinner with Carlisle and just walked around New Orleans.

Saying goodbye was harder than it had been when I left Sue's house to come here. My whole world was going to change drastically when I was incorporated into the new school, with my new siblings, in a new town. I was Izzy's twin, which would provide it's own set of complications without the added pressure of being the new kid in school.

Emmett had spent the rest of the night trying to cheer me up, and I was appreciative of his efforts. He actually managed to subdue some of my nerves, until it was time to crawl into bed and I was left alone with my own thoughts.

Everything seemed to swirl around in my head as I lay in the darkness willing myself to sleep. Leah leaving, Jasper's description of Izzy, which segued into my fears of what tomorrow would bring. I knew how cruel high school could be, and I knew that they would assume I was Izzy or that I was like her, which was not the case.

The fears seemed to clinch in my stomach making it roll uncomfortably. I shouldn't be putting myself through this, I shouldn't be as terrified as I was, but having been around these people at the party, and knowing exactly what Peter and Izzy thought of me; I could only see disaster looming on the horizon.

I don't know how long I lay awake, but I was aware of the shadows cast from the moon, moving across the room. I was begging for sleep to claim me quickly, yet it stayed oddly elusive the more I wished for it.

When the alarm finally went off my hand searched for the snooze. My stiff body made me all the more aware of how exhausted I truly was. It was terrible timing, but I refused to give way to my fears, and I knew Emmett would be waiting for me downstairs. Not that it made it any easier.

I took a shower and dressed in the uniform that seemed to fit every cliché on the face of the planet, and headed downstairs to attempt to eat breakfast.

My stomach rolled nervously the moment I saw the other three uniforms and Izzy's death glare. Any trace of hunger I'd felt dissipated as the nerves ate me alive. I forewent the pancakes Emmett was cooking and opted for coffee and some toast instead. I knew I was being ridiculous, Emmett had introduced me to his friends which seemed to give me more of an advantage, there really wasn't that much more to be nervous about, but it still didn't take away the dread that clawed around in my head like a caged cat.

If I was being honest, the building didn't do much to comfort me either.

The school was huge. Emmett pulled into the parking lot as a sea of uniforms moved lethargically toward the building that looked like a cross between a church and a prison. It wasn't until people saw their friends that they turned animated. The dull sounds of voices carrying across the parking lot turned into a cacophony as we entered the building. Girls were shouting at one another down the hall with squeals of appreciation as they saw friends they'd neglected over the summer. The guys gave off a deeper rumbling and watched the girls as they gathered in groups.

It was a typical high school, but at the same time so very different.

"You okay, Bells? You look a little green," Emmett said, pulling my mind from the silent comparisons it was making.

"Shut up, Em," I laughed, walking into him as my wandering eyes stopped their scan of the crowds. "It's a lot to take in, but I think I can hold off the technicolor yawn."

Emmett's booming laughter attracted the eyes of the curious as we made our way toward the office. If I'd been alone, I was certain I'd look like a deer in the headlights, but instead I stepped closer to him, finding comfort in the friendship I'd developed with him, and tried to ignore the whispers as we passed.

Due to my late registration, I had to pick up my class schedule at the office. When we turned the corner I couldn't contain my smile at what waited for us. Jasper was standing against the wall in his uniform, his blond hair looking more arranged than I had ever seen it before. His eyes were scanning the halls as the girls passed, and he flashed them a smile as they eyed him with appreciation. He didn't see us coming until Emmett shouted at him, yet again drawing more unwanted attention to us.

"Hey, what took you so damn long?" Jasper asked, looking like the picture of ease as he pushed off from the wall and strolled toward us. He really was a good looking guy, but this weekend had played a part in building a friendship more than anything between us. Not that it stopped him and his comments though.

"Dude, I have a chick riding with me now," Emmett laughed, elbowing me so I wavered on the spot. "You know what that's like."

"Shut up, Emmett. I think you were the one hogging the mirror before we left."

Jasper rolled his eyes playfully and threw his arm around my neck as he guided me toward the office. I couldn't help but notice the curious stares of the people around us as we walked. It was like watching the metal cogs in their mind turn as they tried to figure something out. Did they think I was Izzy? Or did they know that she had a twin by now? Whatever it was I didn't get to think on it long as I was guided into the office and forced to face the smiling woman behind the desk there.

"Isabella Cullen?"

"Yes, Mrs. Cope," Emmett answered for me before I could correct her on my last name. He winked at me as he leaned across the counter and smiled at her, his dimples ever evident. "Can we get her schedule, and I think we'll need that permit Carlisle asked you about."

"Emmett, I'm sure Isabella can answer for herself, now would you please give me some space to work."

"You're breaking my heart, Mrs. Cope."

"I'm sure you'll live Mr. McCarty," she laughed, looking from him to me with her kind eyes. "Now Miss Cullen, this is your class schedule, all of the room numbers are listed, if you need a map . . ."

"She has GPS," Emmett interrupted, nodding at Jasper. "No map required. She can't go around looking like a tourist can she?"

"Emmett," Mrs. Cope warned again, this time rolling her eyes. "Isabella, if you need anything else, you can come in here and request it. Your parking permit will be ready by the end of the day."

"Can I come and pick it up?" Emmett interjected once again.

"I don't see why not. Now head to class before you're late, please."

I pulled my schedule from the desk and turned around to walk out, holding off my curiosity until we were out of ear shot.

"A parking permit?" I asked, my eyebrows high on my head. I wasn't sure why I'd need one, but Emmett seemed determined, so I'd kept my mouth shut.

"Yeah, Peter has a hard time getting one, so Carlisle asked that I get one in your name so he doesn't have any trouble."

"Trouble?" I asked, but changed my mind as soon as I'd said it. Peter's driving skills or lack thereof, spoke volumes. "Nevermind, I don't want to know."

"Probably best," Emmett laughed, his eyes scanning the hall again.

Jasper pulled my schedule from my hand while I was distracted and scanned it slowly, his smile growing more with every second. Somehow, I knew that was to do with my sigh of impatience. "You're in about eighty percent of my classes, I know that Rose is in your history class . . . I think the only one you have alone is lit."

"What? Are you babysitting me now?" I laughed, pulling the schedule out of his hands with a wink. My eyes scanning the page so I'd at least know what to expect.

"No, consider it stalking. It's the one free service I offer," Jasper threw back at me with a grin. "I also ward off the evil known as Elizabeth, Jessica and anyone else Izzy feels like throwing at you."

"My hero," I sighed playfully, batting my eyelashes at him. "And who said gallantry was dead?"

"I have Mr. Ward first period, I'm heading that way," Emmett grumbled beside me. "I'll see you at lunch."

"See you then."

Emmett walked away, leaving Jasper to tow me toward the first class.

School work seemed to bring an odd sense of familiarity. After the initial whispers when we first walked into the room, things fell into the monotonous routine that most classes seemed to have regardless of what school it was. I threw myself into the lessons with more effort and concentration than I ever had, paying more attention to the teacher than the people sitting around me. It made it easier to ignore the curious glances and whispers.

With the sense of routine, came the calm I had been trying to find as I lay awake the night before. Throwing myself into the assignments made the time fly and kept off the exhaustion that I was sure was about to plague me at any moment.

Jasper sat beside me confidently, whispering quietly who everyone in the class was and his personal opinion of them; which unfortunately included some information I really didn't want to know about them. His efforts seemed to triple when our trig class was unfortunate enough to include Jessica. Her snide comments were countered with Jasper's stage whispered description of her reputation, which effectively shut her up.

The class before lunch was lit, the one class I had alone, so Jasper walked me to the room I needed and promised to meet me after so he could guide me to the cafeteria. Ever the flirt he slapped my ass lightly before dancing away; leaving me with the gawking people I had to share a room with, my face flushed with the scarlet blush I could feel crawling up my neck.

I sat next to the least threatening girl in the class when I finally got enough composure to look around the room. I hoped that my instincts weren't completely thrown off by this odd situation, the last thing I needed right now with my waning coherency and anxiety was sitting next to someone like Jessica. All I wanted was a quiet corner where I could keep my eye on the book and my mind on the task at hand. It didn't seem like too much to ask.

Thankfully, my instincts weren't completely burned out.

The girl looked terrified when I sat down next to her; which I could only attribute to her thinking I was Izzy. I hated that her heart shaped faced turned down to the desk in front in her eagerness to not look at me. Her hair, so light a brown it could have been considered dirty blonde, was long enough to cover her face completely.

"Hi," I whispered, hoping that I could break the ice so her nervous energy wouldn't transfer to me. It seemed it was already too late though, and my incessant need to babble incoherently when I was nervous kept my introduction going. "I'm Bella Swan, or Cullen as I'm registered. I'm new, which would normally be obvious . . . . You don't happen to have the reading list on you? I was late registering and I didn't even think about what I would need."

Her brown eyes lifted from the desk where she'd been concentrating on an irregularity in the wood grain and appraised me nervously. Even after my verbal vomit, she still looked uncertain. Her eyes seemed to really look at me as though she could see some difference other than the obvious ones.

"Bella Swan?"

I nodded and smiled. "It's okay, I know it's weird."

"So you're not . . ."

"No," I said, lowering my voice so the curious audience would have to strain to hear me. I recognized some of them from my other classes. Yet, this was the first time I'd spoken to someone other than Jasper so I could understand their renewed fascination. "We're twins."

"I had no idea."

"Neither did I." I grinned as she shifted beside me.

"I'm Angela Webber," she offered, her smile growing with my lame effort at nonchalance.

Angela pushed a sheet of paper toward me, her warm smile making me feel better about making the effort to reach out to someone other than the people I already knew.

"You can keep this copy, I have another one at home."

"You're a life saver, thank you."

My eyes scanned the page, mentally checking off the books I already owned and the ones I needed to get. It helped draw my attention away from the lingering stares my conversation with Angela had stirred. The low murmurs of the class grew in volume suddenly, and I couldn't help but look up to see what had created the new stir of whispers.

I wished I hadn't.

To my dismay, my eyes met Izzy's as she glared at me across the room. Her gray eyes were filled with hatred as she moved to a seat as far from me as physically possible. Everyone in the class was looking between the two of us, their confusion clear as they spoke to their neighbor louder than they had been prior to her arrival. Whatever they'd been thinking about me, it obviously hadn't been that I was her twin.

Angela, who incidentally had heard the truth from me moments earlier, squirmed in her seat next to me, her head bowing once again so she was invisible to the room, and more importantly, Izzy. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who my sister hated. The glare may have been for me this time, but Angela's stiffness in posture and desire to make herself smaller spoke volumes. She didn't need to tell me that Izzy intimidated her, it was obvious.

Feeling responsible for her reaction, I tried to shift the focus of Izzy's attack onto myself. I had no idea why Izzy would hate someone as seemingly sweet as Angela, but it was neither my business nor priority to find out.

"Does she hate everyone, or just me?" I asked in a whisper, turning my head so I could see Angela rather than the rest of the class. I flashed her a conspiratorial smile.

"Pretty much everyone," Angela sighed, a knowing smile evident as she realized the look hadn't been for her after all. "Do you not get along then?"

"I would go for a no, but the jury's still out on that. I don't think we've had a conversation yet, so I'm not exactly sure what I've done to offend her, other than exist."

"That's enough for her," Angela sighed, peeking at Izzy from her peripheral vision. "We used to be friends in junior high, but then Jess moved here from New York, and we haven't spoken since."

"Has she always been so abrasive?"

Angela let off a quiet laugh as she hung her head again to hide it. "Yeah, that hasn't changed much, but it's easier to deal with when it's not aimed at you."

"I can imagine," I murmured as the teacher finally stepped in, calling order to the class.

It was interesting to find someone who had something nice to say about Izzy. It wasn't all sunshine and flowers, but it seemed as though they'd been genuine friends at one point in time. It was refreshing to see another side of her, even if it was through someone else's memories.

I was happy that I seemed to have picked the right person to sit next to. Angela was generous and shared her book with me as we immediately delved into the world of Shakespeare. Our teacher Mr. Birdie was obviously a book lover, his love for the written word was evident in the way he read the old English verses that Shakespeare loved to use.

Angela was smart and articulate. When permitted to discuss the topic at hand, she and I fell into easy conversations about the characters and motivations behind their actions. She was easy to talk to, never laughing at my idealism of Shakespeare and his observation of the human condition.

Being one of my favorite classes, it was over too quickly, and the room started filtering out to head toward the cafeteria for lunch, most of them were still talking about having the two Izzy's in the same class. Izzy, still seemingly pissed off, pushed her way out of the room first so she could avoid me completely, and I couldn't say I was disappointed. It saddened me that she hated me without a reason behind it, but I didn't have time to fight her. She'd already made up her mind, and now all I could do was stay out of her way.

"Are you heading to the cafeteria? I could show you the way if you like," Angela offered beside me as she gathered her things together.

"I appreciate it, but Jasper said he was going to meet me outside," I said, smiling at her so she would know I genuinely did appreciate the sentiment. Granted I'd been with Jasper most of the day, but she was still the only person to offer me any help at all.

"No problem, Bella, I'll see you later."

"Thanks, Angela."

"Anytime," she offered before she ducked out of the room, leaving me alone to gather my things and hide from the last of the stares as people filtered out of the room.

I half expected Jasper to be waiting for me already, considering he was surprisingly punctual. Of course this was the exception though. I stepped out of the classroom as my eyes scanned the halls. Angela was just disappearing around the corner, and I had half the mind to take her up on her offer. Before I could call out to her, her books were pushed to the ground by a tall blond guy rounding the corner.

"Angie, you need to be more careful," he laughed, the sound a cackling that was reminiscent of a hyena. He kicked one of the books as she reached for it, her hand retracting quickly to avoid being kicked.

Anger bubbled in my stomach as I watched from afar. I'd never been one to stand around and watch a bully go to work, but I also had to consider I was new here. It was after another torturous sounding of the abrasive laughter that I couldn't stop myself from breaking it up. I didn't know who this guy thought he was, but I wasn't going to stand around and watch a sweet person like Angela be his punching bag. He was just starting to use her backpack as a soccer ball when I finally found my voice.

"Leave her alone, Jerk."

The guy and Angela both looked up at me, Angela's eyes were wide with embarrassment as she gathered her things quickly, her head shaking surreptitiously in a silent warning; one I didn't heed as the guy just smiled at me.

"Baby, I've been looking for you." His voice was saccharine sweet as he tried to purr the words at me, and I immediately saw my mistake.

"I'm not . . ." I started, my foot trying to back me away from his advance, but I was cut off as he hoisted me over his shoulder, knocking the wind out of me as his hand ran up the back of my bare thighs.

"Put me down," I growled, squirming as I tried to get down from his shoulder. "I'm not who you think I am."

"Sure, babe," he grunted as my knee planted itself in his chest and his wandering hands moved further up my leg. He followed it with a sickening chuckle that made my stomach roll uncomfortably.

"Get your goddamn hands off me," I shouted again, working harder to free myself from his shoulder. "I'm not Izzy, and if you don't put me down this instant I'm going to fucking scream."

Before I could say or do anything else, he dropped me to my feet in a dark room and pulled the door closed behind him. The darkness swallowed both of us in those first couple of seconds and my labored breathing from trying to escape his shoulder hindered my ability to listen for him. Without warning, he pushed me up against the wall, his hot stale breath running over my cheek as his hands found the hem of my skirt.

"You're really gonna fight me, babe? I've been looking forward to making up for lost time."

"I'm. Not. Izzy," I growled, pushing him with all my strength, but he was too strong for me. His body pinned mine up against the wall as my hands found his hair, pulling his stale breath behind the searching lips away from me.

"Oh we're playing this game again. Who do you want to be?"

His hands found their way up my legs until his fingers ghosted over the hem of the boyshorts I was wearing. It was thankfully only my hip at the moment, but it didn't stop the rush of adrenaline from spiking through my veins. My scream sounded like a siren in the small room, sharp and piercing, every octave laced with my fear as I fought his weight from me.

It was then that the room flooded with light, bright and garish, but I welcomed it hungrily. The door hit the wall with a crash so loud that made me flinch, and my fingers lost their purchase in his hair.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Newton?" Jasper shouted, his voice filling the small space and reverberating from the white washed walls. I recognized it instantly even with the anger distorting it. Turning my head, I could see that his face was contorted with rage, his blue eyes dark and narrowed as they glared at the fear on my face to the hands on my thigh.

The silence was so prominent that my panicked breathing sounded louder than it should. Jasper took a step forward and held out his hand to me. I took it without hesitation, letting him pull me from the small prison I had been shoved into. I hadn't realized it before, but I was trembling with fear.

"You okay?" Jasper asked, not taking his eyes from the boy in front of him.

"Fine," I squeaked, as I felt a smaller hand in mine.

I jumped in fear, not expecting the gesture, but I looked up to see Rosalie and Angela standing side by side, concern on both their faces. Rosalie pulled me to her, her arm circling my waist as she pulled us back from the room and Jasper altogether.

"Do you not understand '_no' _when it's screamed at you, Mike?"

"Why don't you back the fuck off, Whitlock, she's my fucking girlfriend."

"You're a fucking idiot, that's not Izzy, and you fucking know it. I saw you with Izzy this morning."

Before Mike could answer, Jasper's arm pulled back and snapped forward quickly, resulting in a dull thud as it made contact with Mike's nose; it was followed by a groan of pain from Mike.

"Touch her again, motherfucker, and you'll get a lot worse."

Jasper slammed the door of the closet shut and turned to face the three of us.

Angela was practically trembling on one side of me, her breathing even louder than mine, while Rosalie laughed quietly at the scene that had just unfolded. Her arm squeezed my waist one last time before she released me.

I was stuck in the middle, unsure of what to do.

Jasper's hands cupped my cheeks as he took a better look at me, the anger was evaporating and giving way to concern. I could see his eyes soften from the hardened darkness to the malleable blue I was familiar with.

"You sure you're alright? You're shaking. He didn't . . ."

"No! He just freaked me out a little," I mumbled, trying to get my breathing under control. It had all been so quick, that it was finally catching up with me.

Jasper turned to Angela as he pulled me against his chest, offering me much needed support. "Thanks, Ange, we'd have never found her if you hadn't been here."

"Sure, I . . . I have to go," Angela squeaked, backing away, her brown eyes wide as she tried to figure out the right thing to do. Eventually, she turned and walked away quickly.

I felt terrible. My first day and I had put Jasper in a position to have to hit someone and scared the one friend I'd made myself half to death. My hands, still lying against Jasper's chest, felt the accelerated beat of his heart as the last of what I imagined was adrenaline made it's way through his body.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, leaning my forehead against his shoulder, letting my arms tighten around his waist.

"Why the hell are you sorry?" Rosalie asked, rubbing my back gently. "Mike's the douche not you. He knew you weren't Izzy. My God, Emmett's gonna have his ass on a silver platter."

"Yeah well, he deserves it. Come on, let's go eat. Mike will be crying in there for a while," Jasper laughed, his arm once again looping around my neck as he walked me down the hall, Rosalie beside him.

Emmett seemed to know there was something wrong the moment we entered the room; it took him one look at my face and he was on his feet, bounding over to us as we moved through the cafeteria. He looked from me, to Rosalie and then to Jasper, his eyes imploring one of us to speak. He didn't even have to ask though; Rosalie seemed to know what he was asking before he said it.

"Mike Newton decided to play, 'I thought it was Izzy,'" she said, her hand resting gently on his forearm in a soothing gesture before she passed him to greet Edward at the table.

"Don't worry, I found him before he got too far, but he shook Bella up pretty badly, and I think I scared the shit out of Angela Webber."

"Why?"

"I hit the fucker," he paused, shaking his head in disgust. "He had her pinned against the wall with his wandering hands a little too high up if you catch my drift."

"Motherfucker, I am going to kill him. You said you saw him with Izzy earlier right?"

"Yeah, they were making out in front of his Biology class."

I could see the anger as the two of them went back and forth. It would only be a matter of time before they gathered the townsfolk and went after the guy with pitchforks and torches. I couldn't let them do that. Jasper may have to answer to someone after what he'd already done. They didn't need to dig themselves a deeper hole. Jasper had defended my honor, and that was the end of it.

"Emmett," I interjected, my hands crossing over my chest to show how serious I was. "I'm fine, honestly. Jasper hit him, it's over. He just caught me off guard. It won't happen again."

"Damn straight it won't." Emmett appraised me, his concerned eyes lighting a little as he decided whether I was telling the truth or not. I honestly felt stupid now the whole thing was over. If I hadn't been so surprised by Mike, I could have explained to him who I was and maybe had a chance at fighting him off. I didn't know that he was Izzy's boyfriend, and I'd only guessed once he'd started making advances. He wouldn't catch me offguard again. If I could take down Jacob, I could sure as hell take down Mike Newton.

Jasper and Emmett seemed to be under the impression that he knew I wasn't Izzy though, and if that was the case, I felt horrible for my sister. I didn't care what she'd done to me the last couple of days, no one deserved that.

Now that the rush of adrenaline had depleted, I could feel the lack of sleep licking at the edges of my mind again. I knew I needed to eat something if I expected to at least get through the day, so I headed toward the line, Jasper walking with me.

I got something to eat before we sat at the table with everyone. Surprisingly, Edward was sitting beside Rosalie, and I did everything in my power to ignore him. I hadn't spoken to him or seen him since Rosalie's party, and being around him made me nervous. I couldn't put my finger on why either. It couldn't be attributed to being hurt by his comments, because in all honesty it didn't bother me. I'd heard worse, and let's face it, I'd lived with Izzy for almost a full week.

Jasper nudged me with his elbow as my mind faded with the thoughts and sat idle. It was like the engine was running with no one behind the wheel as I stared at the small water stain that sat in the middle of a ceiling tile.

Emmett was telling us about what he thought was going to happen with the LSU Tigers this season. He was animated when it came to the discussion because he was already making plans to go tailgating. His descriptions of the event were enough to pull me from my thoughts and participate in the conversation.

"Jacob and Seth would love that, and come to think of it so would Leah," I laughed, pushing Jasper's hand from my face as he tried to put some of his icing on my cheek.

"Well, we'll all go one weekend. It'll be fun," Emmett offered, pulling out his phone. "I'm going to text Leah. I haven't harassed her today."

"Heads up, here comes trouble," Rosalie said as the conversation lulled. All of our heads turned to where her eyes were directed. Mike had just come into the cafeteria, Izzy touching his nose gently as she glared over at me periodically.

"Great." It was just what I needed. I knew I was going to somehow get blamed for this, and I wasn't wrong. The moment Izzy had finished fawning over her boyfriend she headed toward our table, and more precisely - me.

"You," she spat, skidding to a halt as she stood over me. "How did I know you'd manage to convince him you were me. You have no boundaries do you? You've taken everything from me and now you want my boyfriend? You're sick."

"Iz . . ." Emmett started, but I cut him off, standing up so I was face to face with Izzy. If this was going to happen, it was going to happen now. In that one sentence she'd said more words to me than she had since I'd arrived, and I'd had enough.

"Taken everything from you?" I laughed maniacally. "I don't want anything of yours, Elizabeth. Let alone your lying, manipulative boyfriend. Why don't you just stay out of my way and I'll do the same for you."

I grabbed my bag and walked away with absolutely no idea where I was going. Emmett was laughing, I could hear it as I stormed across the linoleum floor toward the exits. I stampeded through the halls, my eyes darting down every hall as I tried to find my escape. I needed air, even if it was heavy and humid.

It wasn't until I finally made my way out into the heat of the afternoon that I realized I was being followed, the footsteps quick as they caught up with me. My whole body was vibrating as I headed toward the bleachers. My phone was in my hand as I typed out a message to Leah.

--Fuck This and Fuck Elizabeth!! Five days and She broke me! Help!!!!--

I hit send.

"You okay?"

"Peachy fucking keen!" I snapped back, almost immediately regretting the burst of anger misguided to him.

"I'm sorry, I think that was my fault."

"No, Jasper, it was my fault. I promised myself I wouldn't let her get to me. Then off I went. With an audience no less; it was stupid and I gave her the upper hand." I sighed, sinking down onto the first row of bleachers, my eyes following the small group playing soccer in the middle of the field.

"What? You were just gonna let her walk all over you, Bella? You had to put her in her place at some point. At least now she knows you're not going to curl up in a ball and let her win. In fact, I think you're the first person, other than Rose, to put her in her place publicly."

"Go me," I laughed sarcastically, pumping my fists in the air.

Jasper laughed and straddled the bench we were on so he was facing me. "Look, I know this has to be really fucking uncomfortable for you. Leah explained to us that your lives have pretty much been the same since the day you were born. This is a huge change, I get that, and Emmett and I promised that we would do everything we could to make this easy for you. I think you probably just got past the worst of it though. Izzy's bark is worse than her bite, and you just took that away from her."

"I just wish I knew why she hated me so much. I mean she doesn't even seem curious. I had so many questions that first day when I found out. She was standing there, and all I could think was how did I not know? Do we have anything in common? Chocolate or Strawberry ice cream?" I growled, throwing my hand up in the air, as Jasper smiled sympathetically. "I wanted to know everything, but she just acts like I don't exist. I don't understand it."

"I can tell you exactly what her problem is," Rosalie said, dropping her bag by my feet in a picture of ease. I hadn't even realized she was there.

She sat down next to me and thought for a second before continuing. "Izzy is selfish, probably the most selfish person I know; but I don't know if you can really blame her for that. Well, not all of it anyway - most of it's her. You know that she and Angela used to be friends right?"

"Yeah, Angela mentioned it," I said, kicking around the dust from the field that littered the concrete with the toe of my shoe. "Junior high or something."

"Yeah, well when Angela opens up, it's easy to see how much Izzy dumping her for Jess hurt her, but she's known Izzy since she was a kid. They were best friends, and Izzy told her a lot of stuff. Apparently, your dad was working a lot the first few years of Izzy's life, what with the internship at the hospital and everything and Izzy was left with her step mom, Elizabeth. Elizabeth didn't like her so much, but it wasn't really ever Izzy's fault."

"Why didn't Elizabeth like her?"

"She was born," Jasper answered. He laughed when I looked at him surprised. "My mom is best friends with Elizabeth, and you hear stuff. Believe me, those two talk a lot and neither of them are quiet."

"Yeah well, she was pretty fucking cruel to her."

"She thought Carlisle had cheated on her, and Izzy was the result of that."

"He didn't though," I said defensively. "In fact, they got together after he and Renée . . . you know."

"That didn't matter," Jasper said, laughing. "Elizabeth's family had a good name, and she was in love with him when he found out he'd gotten your mom pregnant. She thought she could handle it; she didn't know that Carlisle was going to have full custody."

Hearing this now, made me realize how little I knew my family. I hadn't come into this situation blind, but I'd thought I knew something about them. I'd known more about my history in the last couple of weeks than I had my entire life, but it still wasn't enough. There were still so many secrets under the shiny veneer of the happy family.

"Don't get me wrong," Rosalie said, leaning back with her elbows on the bleacher behind her. "It wasn't Cinderella cruel, but she was pretty mean. Izzy just wanted to spend more time with her dad, but he was too busy establishing a name for himself. It was only when things calmed down that he noticed how cruel Elizabeth was."

"They had a huge fight about it," Jasper said, leaning forward.

"Which was why they got divorced. Izzy was happy apparently, Angela said that Carlisle used to take them on outings on his days off, he met Tanya at the zoo when he took Izzy and Angela for Izzy's 12th birthday, seven months later they were married."

Silence fell over the three of us, but I didn't miss the look between Rosalie and Jasper. It was almost as though we'd reached another turning point in the story, something neither of them really spoke about, but both understood.

"That's why Emmett's always so nice to her," Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. "He's always trying to make up for other people's mistakes. He's amazing really."

"I don't understand?" I could see just how highly Rosalie thought of Emmett as she spoke about him; if it had been any discussion other than this, I would have asked more questions, but I was struggling to understand my sister and her accusations.

"Carlisle married Tanya without a prenup. Emmett knows his mom better than anyone, he loves her, but he realizes what she's capable of. She never really cared about being a mother and Emmett doesn't hold that against her. She had them to keep Marcus close, but he kicked her like a bad habit when Emmett was five. After that, she used her boys as tools to get men. And believe me when I say, she gets payback for that from Peter.

"When she married Carlisle, she did the same thing to Izzy that Elizabeth did, but for different reasons. At first, it was a battle for Carlisle's attention, then it was Tanya trying to force Carlisle to divorce her because it's the only way she gets half of everything. He's not the cheating kind, like you said, so they're both trapped right now, and poor Izzy has been used as a torture point to get at Carlisle."

"Yeah, then you add Jessica to the equation and you have the formula that makes up, Izzy," Jasper finished.

"How is Jessica part of the problem?" I asked, not understanding the transition between wicked step mothers and her new best friend.

"Jessica's Mom and Dad are both rich, and they lived in high society. She came from New York. So both parents tried to buy her affection. She picked that up quickly and used it to her advantage. She knows the game and plays it well. So really it was only a matter of time before Izzy started picking up on her scheme, and now Carlisle gives her anything she wants to make up for everything. I honestly don't even think he realizes he's doing it anymore."

"So why would that mean she hates me?"

"Bella you have the one thing she wants most in the world . . . your Dad's attention," Rosalie said, sitting forward. "It's illogical, and a little narcissistic, but it's Izzy. She hasn't taken the time out to hear your story, and I'm pretty sure won't; she's terrified to ask you about your mom in case you had the life she always wanted."

I thought about that. It made perfect sense, I could only imagine what being pushed and pulled in different directions by the women vying for you father's attention would do to you. I imagined I would be just as bitter as she was. I still couldn't process it though.

"I never said it was a good reason, but it's the reason," Rosalie finished when she saw my expression. She picked up her bag with a flash of her smile. "Now that's out of the way, am I correct in thinking I finally have someone to sit with in history?"

"You do." I grinned in response as all the new information slowly sunk in, making my head ache. I could see that the two of them were trying to help by telling me the story that I wouldn't necessarily hear anywhere else, and in some ways, it answered so many questions that I couldn't help but be grateful.

"Well, lets get going then," she sang, standing up and swinging her bag over her shoulder.

I turned to Jasper at the other side of me and threw my arms around his neck, my lips brushing his cheek. "Thank you for everything. I'll see you later."

"Anytime, gorgeous. I'll see you after history."

I looped my arm through Rosalie's and walked with her across the field.

"And stay out of trouble this time," Jasper added with a laugh.

I flipped him the bird and continued, knowing that my mind wouldn't be on anything but what lunch with my new friends had revealed.

___

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**A/N: It's a little bit longer than normal , but I'm hoping that the info added in was helpful. Izzy is dating Mike Newton, and yes he is a douche to the highest degree. Angela is sweet and has a past with Izzy, and Izzy actually has reason to be such a evil, maniacal monster. It's not a good excuse really, but I hope it explains some of her attitude.**_

___**Thanks as always to my amazing beta, miss Annabanana, for improving my horrific grammar and punctuation and just being all around amazing with her knowledge of Bella's state, and her city!!**_

___**A huge thank you to miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99 for pre reading for me. They let me talk things out and make them a little more viable :) They're also some of the best friends a girl can have.**_

___**To everyone of you who review, thank you. You guys have no idea how much you make me smile and laugh. You have the best questions and comments ever and I hope that the review replies answer some of those for you. I think I have the best set of readers here!! You're all amazing!!**_

___**The blog's all up to date if you're interested :)**_

___**Much love and HUGE HUGZ ~Weezy~**_


	13. Disclosure

**_All Things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer and a little of the plot (Very little now I've read it again!) to V.C. Andrews. The rest is all my mind ;) _**

**Warning:** Some of the content may disturb some people, so please proceed with Caution.

* * *

**Disclosure**

_Circling the pain inside my soul  
I reached inside your silence to steal what you won't show  
I tried to find the answers in my fears  
But what was found is lost again as soon as it appeared_  
_**Take It All Away by Red**_

_**

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I hadn't been able to concentrate all week. Monday's revelations were playing on my mind more than I cared to have them there, but it seemed to dissolve my anger at Izzy, once again leaving me open to her hostile nature and underhanded comments.

Still, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. At home, I watched the interactions between Izzy and Tanya and it was obvious that the two of them hated one another venomously. They were never cordial, and there was never any façade of politeness. They spoke in sharp, flat sentences using as few words as possible so they weren't stuck together longer than they had to be.

It wasn't the only thing I figured out either.

School was calmer and less stressful now people seemed to realize there were two of us. The hushed whispers were still there, but they weren't as distracting as they had been that first day which helped me relax. Tuesday was awkward when Mike showed up to meet Izzy after Lit. However, one look from Jasper, and Mike refused to even acknowledge me again.

Even the time spent with the group at lunch became easier. Edward still made his back handed comments at me, but it was easier to ignore him now that my fascination with him seemed to be diminishing. I didn't even react anymore, I just moved on as though he wasn't there, so he moved on talking to Peter or Emmett about sports and cars.

Jasper continued to flirt with me shamelessly when he got the chance, and I found myself doing the same in return. We'd become close friends after spending most of our time together. The only downside to this was spending more time with Peter because they were friends.

Peter still gave me the creeps, his eyes wandering as he spoke to me, lingering on the v of my blouse where the two edges met over my chest. Jasper reassured me he was harmless, but I couldn't help but shudder the moment he looked away; I didn't like the feeling of being objectified.

The only other person that seemed to notice was Rosalie. She and I were becoming closer friends, but there was still an odd tension between us. I wasn't really sure what it was, or what I had done to offend her, but I couldn't even ask her because I knew there was a chance I was just being paranoid.

One thing that stood out to me more than anything else was Emmett's affection for Rosalie. It wasn't obvious at all, but after becoming as close to him as I had since all of this started, I could see the differences. He was always so gentle with her, his voice moving from his usual bellowing joviality to a more subdued version of himself, and he always included her in conversations, something I'd noticed Edward never did.

More than that though, it was the way he looked at her, his eyes softening as she spoke, the hunger to hear her words rather than just acknowledge that she was speaking. Then there was the constant need to touch her, his fingers would brush her arms or hands if they were close enough.

I watched them doing the same dance all week and still said nothing until my curiosity got the better of me while we were driving home on Friday.

"Emmett, you think I could ask you something without you being offended?" I asked, pulling on the seat belt and waving at Angela as she climbed into her car. "You don't have to answer it, I just . . ."

"Spit it out, woman," Emmett laughed, starting up the truck. It roared to life around us, the diesel creating the familiar purr.

"How long have you liked Rosalie?"

"I've always liked her," he answered easily, his nonchalant shrug paired neatly with the shaking of his head.

"You know what I mean," I laughed, not buying the diversionary tactic. At least he didn't seem to be upset by the question, even if I was prying.

"Is it that obvious?" he asked, turning in his seat to back out of the space, his eyes flickering to me sporadically.

"No, you hide it well." He did, even if I did remember Jasper bringing up something about it the night I moved in with them. Did Jasper know? Or did he just pull his usual playful mocking not realizing how close to the truth he was?

"Then how . . .?"

"Emmett, that's the dumbest question I ever heard come out of your mouth. What, you think these past couple weeks I haven't got to know you at all?"

"Aw, are you telling me you care, Bells?"

I rolled my eyes at him, crossing my arms in mock frustration. "You may as well be my brother you big dummy, and if you didn't want to answer, you didn't have to distract me. You should have just told me to butt out."

"Aww c'mon. Don't be all pouty. I'm fucking with you."

"I'm not pouting," I laughed, uncrossing my arms and turning in my seat. "I just see it, and if you want to talk about it – well, I'm here."

"What good will it do to talk about it? It doesn't change anything."

"It's got to be better than keeping it all inside."

Emmett thought about it for a moment before responding. His eyes were cautious and serious, even with his reassuring smile evident on his lips.

"Edward's my best friend, Bells, there's really nothing to talk about. Yes, I like her, but I can't ever do anything about it. Put yourself in my position, what if you felt this way about Jacob?"

I tried to imagine it; Leah was my best friend, I knew how much she loved Jacob. They did everything together, and their mutual love and respect were something I admired. I aspired to have something like that one day. What if I felt the same way about Jacob? What if I secretly loved him? Emmett was right, it wouldn't change a thing. I would never say anything to him or Leah because I loved my friend too much to take away her happiness. Even if seeing them together made me miserable.

If it had been anybody but Emmett, they wouldn't have been so caring. We were similar in so many ways, and he knew that. He knew the moment I thought about it I would understand.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered as I thought about the pain he must be feeling.

"Don't get all soppy on me," he chuckled, slowing the truck down for a red light. "It's just one of those things."

"How did they meet?"

"Rosalie started at the beginning of last year. She's always lived in New Orleans, but her dad was promoted to CEO of his company, so the pay rise was significant. Her parents wanted more for her and moved into a new house and enrolled her in a better private school. Edward just happened to be in her first class, she's beautiful so naturally he was drawn to her. He asked her out, she said yes, and that was that."

"Don't you ever wonder what would have happened had you been the first one to meet her?"

"Every fucking day, but it still doesn't change anything."

"Does Edward love her?"

"I think so, never really asked. It's not something guys talk about, we leave it up to you chicks."

"God forbid you show emotion."

Emmett laughed and took off from the light while I silently contemplated my last question. What did it matter if he loved her or not? It didn't even matter that I was convinced that Rosalie liked Emmett. Emmett would never do anything to jeopardize his friendship with Edward, and Rosalie was seemingly happy where she was. There would be no happy ending for Emmett.

The whole situation haunted me, even when we got home and I challenged Emmett with a round of boxing on the Xbox. All I could think about was this horribly perplexing puzzle. Emmett deserved to be happy, but at what price? What if Rosalie loved Edward with all of her heart and I was misreading her emotions? What if Edward believed she was the one, did he deserve to be any less happy? There was always someone hurt, always a broken heart in the scenarios in my head.

"You look like you're about to have an aneurysm," Peter said as he strode in with his usual air of arrogance.

"That's a big word for an idiot," Emmett laughed, knocking out the little guy I was controlling.

"So witty," Peter drawled, throwing himself down next to me, his arm resting on the couch behind my head. "Jasper just called, his parents are going to his grandparents or some shit for the weekend. He invited us all over. He asked me to pass on the message because you're an asshole and don't answer your texts."

"Okay, now relay the message in his words you little dick."

"Tell Emmett to answer his goddamn phone."

"Sounds more like it. Why aren't you going?"

I looked up at Emmett and then at Peter briefly. I wasn't sure how Emmett had deducted that he wasn't going, but Peter's reaction made it seem he'd hit the mark. I was still trying to figure them out. They were in the same group of friends but somehow managed to avoid one another at all costs.

"Who said I wasn't?" Peter asked, leaning forward infinitesimally making me feel self-conscious.

"Because I know you, and if you figured you could get away with it, you'd be happy I wasn't there."

"Who said the message was for your benefit?"

Emmett ignored him and restarted the game, forcing me to hit the buttons on the controller. I had no idea what did what, so I simply hit them all in hopes of getting the right one. Peter shifted beside me, and it took everything in me not to take my eyes from the screen to see exactly what he was doing.

"Hit the red one, it's the uppercut," Peter murmured in my ear, making my skin crawl. I don't know why he affected me the way he did, but it was always the same. Even Leah had noticed it. His hand shot out and tapped the button for me. My player swung his fists and caught Emmett's player offguard, effectively knocking him out.

"Thanks," I mumbled, shifting slightly so I was closer to Emmett.

"Sure thing, Jasper said be there by seven at the earliest."

Peter gave me his smirk and stood up, offering me a little nod before he left the room. Leaving Emmett and me to continue our game.

I conceded victory to Emmett after he managed to win every round we played after that. After his small but hilarious victory dance, I decided it was time to get ready to go to Jasper's house. Emmett, knowing his friends well, had advised me to wear a bathing suit because Jasper's pool was more of a lagoon and everyone apparently ended up in there at one time or another.

I went through my usual routine when I got to my room. I called Leah and talked about the day, her mocking me for how dull it was compared to her busy country life. I was learning to adjust to talking to her everyday rather than seeing her, and having the cell phones made life so much easier. That included the dirty jokes Jacob liked to text.

We finally made it over to Jasper's by seven thirty.

The house was beautiful, it was one of the biggest I'd seen yet and had a huge garage at the back of the house. The pool, in the middle of the backyard, was huge and made it easy to understand why Emmett had said what he had about it. There were waterfalls running from high rocks that ran along the back of it, the stone formations naturally creating a dark cave that was hidden by the falling water.

I followed Emmett into the garage, and up a flight of stairs where there was a small apartment. There was a pool table in the middle of the room, but what should have been the bedroom housed a couch with a huge television and the most game consoles available. It was a teenage boy's wet dream, and Jasper seemed to be living it.

"Bella, you made it," Jasper shouted, smacking my ass with a pool cue. He was playing a game with Edward while Rosalie sat in a corner where the bar was, sipping on a beer.

I dodged out of his reach as I made my way over to Rosalie. Peter was in the bedroom playing a racing game with a guy I hadn't met before, so I was able to dance out of view before he looked up. I smiled at Rosalie, sliding onto the stool next to her.

"Hey."

"Hey," Rosalie smiled, handing me a beer from the small refrigerator that sat beside her.

"Where's Leah?" Jasper asked, heading toward the bar and picking up his drink.

"At home, she can't come down this weekend."

"That sucks, I was looking forward to another weekend of wit."

"I'll have to tell her you said that," I laughed, taking a mouthful from the beer I'd just opened.

I was only aware of Edward's presence when he mumbled from the other side of Rosalie taking a mouthful of his own drink. He leaned forward and kissed her, his tongue sweeping her bottom lip making me turn in my seat and almost fall into Jasper.

"You play?" Jasper asked as he steadied me while nodding to the pool table. "We could play doubles. Me and you against Edward and Emmett."

"What about Rose?"

"I don't play," she giggled from behind me. "I watch and cheer on whoever happens to be winning."

"Aw babe, I love it when you cheer me on," Edward chuckled, the sound muted as though he had his lips pressed against Rosalie's.

I shrugged and nodded, thinking it would be a harmless game.

I was wrong.

Somehow, they'd made the assumption I couldn't play. Edward was cocky with his constant jabs, he broke, then Jasper took his turn, followed by Emmett, leaving me last. There was playful banter while the first three played. When I stepped up to the table to take my turn, only Emmett made constant jokes, Edward stood silently next to Rosalie, his slender fingers running through her long hair when she leaned into him.

I averted my eyes the moment he caught mine, my concentration all going to the table in front of me as I started sinking the balls into the pockets. I managed three before I heard Edward muttering about being hustled.

"What's up, Edward, can't take a girl kicking your ass?" Peter laughed, stepping into the room with his phone in his hands. I couldn't lie about my surprise, he was an unlikely defender for me in a room filled with people I considered friends.

Jasper was the first to laugh, followed closely by Emmett, Rosalie bit back her smirk, her bottom lip hidden between her teeth.

"Oh I can take being beaten by a girl. It just helps if the girl is honest."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't asked if I could play. I believe you assumed I couldn't."

Edward's green eyes turned on me, I think it was the first time he'd deliberately looked directly at me since I'd met him. I knew it because I'd never noticed the shade of his eyes before, the green so vibrant they reminded me of grass after it had rained.

"Well, I guess I don't need to hold back then do I?"

"Guess not," I said, sticking my head out, my pride getting the best of me.

Edward's fingers tangled into the hair at the back of Rosalie's neck as he leaned toward her. I turned my head, knowing exactly what he was about to do, and caught Emmett's eyes before he looked down. Had I done that, had I created more pain for him by bringing it up?

"Well, we're waiting on you," I said, pointedly refusing to look in his direction again. I hated to be rude to him, but his attitude was getting on my nerves. I was hoping to distract him from Rosalie for a little while so it would stop Emmett's torture - even if it was for ten minutes.

The game progressed now that nobody assumed I was hopeless. Edward was a good player when he tried, his cue moved with precision, striking each ball exactly where it was needed. Unfortunately, he wasn't good enough to beat me.

"Damn girl, you can play." Jasper bumped his shoulder against mine with pride, making me waiver on the spot. Edward simply turned away from me and fawned over Rosalie while her wide blue eyes gave me a look I couldn't decipher.

"Why don't we go for a swim?" Emmett suggested, his eyes moving around the room. It wasn't as though it was hard to feel the tension. You could cut it with a knife.

I started laughing, it started off as a giggle, but after a while I couldn't stop and it progressed into a full blown laugh. Thankfully, Jasper joined me, his arms circling my waist as he buried his head in my back with laughter. I didn't even know why I was laughing, but I suspected it was my anxiety kicking in. It was how I dealt with things when the tension became too much.

It was only when Edward and Rosalie looked over at me that I stopped. Rosalie's eyes were full of curiosity, but Edward was frowning as though he was trying to figure something out. He almost looked offended.

"Right then. Swimming," Jasper chuckled, ignoring the looks others were giving him. He grabbed my hand and tugged on it, pulling me toward the door that led to the stairs.

"I didn't offend them did I?" I asked the moment the door clicked closed behind me. "It wasn't my intention."

"I have no idea, Edward's become a moody bitch lately. I don't know what's up with him. I wouldn't worry about it though. He'll get over it."

"That's encouraging," I mumbled as we stepped out into the darkened evening. The sun was still emitting a hot amber glow on the horizon, but it was fading quickly.

"Oh come on!" Jasper laughed, tugging me a little faster toward the patio furniture that was around the pool. "If I beat you into the pool . . ."

"Oh no you don't," I squealed, grabbing the hem of my shirt and tugging.

Thankfully, I had worn my bathing suit under my clothes as Emmett had suggested and simply stripped off by the patio furniture. We didn't wait for anyone else. Jasper just grabbed my hand and took off toward the pool. It was so much easier to keep up with him when I didn't have the death traps on.

We both cut through the water, laughing as we resurfaced, only to have to dive out of the way when Emmett shouted "Cannonball" at the top of his lungs as he emulated Ron Burgundy. We swam and splashed one another for hours, racing from one end of the pool to the other to see who was the fastest.

"I need a beer," Emmett chuckled as he dunked my head under the water with ease. "Behave yourselves while I'm gone, and I mean you, Jasper."

"I'm offended," Jasper gasped, splashing the water at Emmett as he got out. "It's not my fault she wants my body."

"Sure, is that why I've been watching you play grab-ass with my sister? Who wants a beer?"

"Yes please."

"Please."

"Three beers coming up." Emmett headed toward the apartment above the garage, leaving Jasper and me alone in the pool.

I turned on him with a grin, both of my hands planting on his shoulders as I tried to push him under the water. We wrestled fiercely, my small squeaks of excitement escaping as he gained a small advantage. He pushed when I pulled and vice versa, neither of us finding the upper hand. My legs locked around his waist as I hoisted myself up to push him down.

"Cheater," he growled, his hands gripping my hips as he tried to pull me from his body, which only made me squeal louder. He lifted my body out of the water and threw me into the water.

Not to be outdone I swam to his legs and pulled them out from under him, his body immediately submerging.

We both resurfaced, laughing and pushing one another playfully. Then his arms wrapped around my waist and his hand tangled in the wet tendrils at the base of my neck. Instinctively, I knew what was going to happen; Jasper was going to kiss me. Surprisingly, I wanted it.

His lips brushed against mine, softly at first, as he tested my reaction. When there was no resistance, he pulled me tighter against his chest, his tongue running along my bottom lip. My arms wrapped around his neck as I separated my lips, accepting his tongue into my mouth so we could deepen the kiss.

Nervous energy made my fingers tingle as they rubbed against his scalp. His free hand gripped my hip as his teeth pulled my bottom lip between them, making me hum in satisfaction.

"Didn't take her long did it?"

Jasper and I separated as though we burned one another with touch, both of our eyes moving to the voice behind the snide comment as his hand caught mine under the water.

"What the hell are you doing here, Izzy?"

"Aw, Jazz, you break my heart," Izzy drawled in a bored tone. "Thanks for the offer but we're not staying, 'specially if you're slumming it."

"You're such a bitch."

My eyes flickered to Izzy's companion as she glared at Jasper. Mike Newton was standing next to her, ogling my body under the water, making my skin crawl.

What was it with these guys and their wandering eyes?

"Jessica will be so disappointed."

"Jessica can continue to dream," Jasper snapped, his eyes moving to Mike. He slid in front of me, blocking me from the hungry stare Mike was wearing. "You can fuck off now and take your sad excuse for a boyfriend with you."

Izzy's eyes moved to Mike just in time to catch the look he was giving me. Her eyes were wide, her mouth hanging open as though she'd been insulted.

"Are you . . .?"

Mike looked at her, his eyes bored as though he expected what was going to happen next.

"Were you . . . checking her _out_?"

"What's the big deal, babe? You have identical bodies," Mike snorted, his tongue running along his bottom lip as his arm closed around her waist and pulled her into him. It seemed Izzy didn't find the humor there, at least we were agreed on something.

"You're a fucking pig, Mike Newton."

"Izzy?" Emmett asked as he appeared from the garage with three beers in his hands, followed closely by Peter, Rosalie, Edward and the other guy I'd never met before.

"Oh great, are you going to give me a hard time about being here too?"

Izzy pushed Mike away from her and took a step back, her eyes moving over the small group of people as the hurt gave way to anger. She turned back to me, her eyes narrowed as though she was ready to pounce.

"Do you exist to make my life miserable?"

"Excuse me?" I couldn't believe I was being blamed for her boyfriend's shitty comments and wandering eyes. Jasper had to step in front of me to stop his lewd mental undressing of my body. Yet, somehow, I was at fault. I was the one to blame.

Since our altercation on Monday, I'd made it a point to stay out of her way so she could come to terms with this in her own way, but it didn't seem as though that was going to happen any time soon. She was accusing me of ruining her life when we'd barely said more than a handful of words to one another.

"You, you come in here and charm everyone, the poor little twin left behind to struggle in the little coonass town she was brought up in as a bastard child. The sob story to win everyone over, well it doesn't work with me. I know why you're here, I know what you want from MY dad. I won't let you do it."

"You know nothing about me or my life. You sit up there in your ivory tower assuming you know everything when you're so far off base you couldn't hit the broad side of a van. You want the truth Izzy? Ask me. You haven't said more than a string of sentences since I got here. Maybe if you took the time to get to know me, rather than making absurd assumptions, you wouldn't be choking on your own bad attitude."

"Peter," Izzy turned to face our step brother. "Will you take me home, please?"

Peter nodded, a small smirk on his lips as he pulled his keys from his pocket. His eyes roamed over to me once before his eyes turned back to Izzy, his amusement was perplexing.

"Iz," Mike said, drawing out the Z in her name. "C'mon, I was joking."

"Go fuck yourself, Mike. Or even better, fuck the cheaper version of me. I could give a shit."

Everyone was silent as we watched them go. It took a while for anyone to say or do anything. Even Mike didn't seem to realize he was standing alone with us now. Jasper's hand was still holding mine under the water, and I only really noticed when Edward's eyes skimmed the surface of the water.

"What the hell set her off?" Emmett asked, his eyes moving from us to Mike in question. "I mean, I know she can be a pain in the ass, but we didn't need to gang up on her."

"She flipped when she saw those two making out," Mike said, nodding toward us as though it answered everything.

All eyes turned to Jasper and me; I leaned my forehead against Jasper's shoulder. I wasn't embarrassed about kissing him. I made my own decisions, and that was one I didn't regret. I was simply hiding from the knowing look Emmett would give us after his playful warning.

"No, motherfucker, you were undressing Bella with your eyes while your girlfriend was standing next to you. Why don't you get the fuck off my property now, before I knock you the fuck out again."

My hand gripped Jasper's, trying to keep him in place so he wouldn't do anything stupid. My head lifted from his shoulder in time to see the small smile on Rosalie's lips. Edward stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders, the emerald green piercing the place where Jasper was still holding my hand.

Was he that averse to me being in his circle of friends?

Why did it matter?

"Bye, Mike," Jasper said, turning his body so he was facing me again. His eyes full of his unspoken apology. I watched as the small crowd dispersed and finally allowed myself to give Jasper all of my attention again. I smiled at him so he would know that my somber mood was nothing to do with the kiss because that was the one thing I had enjoyed this evening. I pushed up on my toes and pushed my lips against his briefly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "The timing sucked."

"You think?" I smirked and winked, unable to help the small smile. "Maybe next time we won't have an audience."

"Next time, huh?" He grinned.

"Shut up."

I pushed his shoulder gently, and he swung in again, pushing his lips to mine.

"Jazz."

Jasper sighed and turned around to see who'd called him, Edward was standing alone by the edge of the pool throwing his keys from one hand to the other.

"I'm taking Ben home; I'll be back in a bit."

"Okay, we'll be here."

Edward looked from Jasper to me before turning around and walking away. I couldn't help but watch him as he left. He confused me. I couldn't read him. I couldn't even understand what I'd done to piss him off. At least with Izzy I could understand it, even if I didn't agree with it, but with Edward, I hadn't even spoken to him.

"Hey, you okay?" Jasper asked, his hand running up and down my back gently.

"Yeah, just getting tired."

"Want me to drive you home?"

"You don't mind?"

His warm lips pressed against my forehead in an affectionate gesture. "No, I don't mind."

I threw on my clothes and said a hasty goodbye to Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie's eyes avoided mine as she spoke to me, but I tried to think nothing of it; I was still convinced I was just paranoid. We got along well, and it was only occasionally that she would do something that would make me feel otherwise.

I made my way to Jasper's car after I convinced Emmett to stay, and the moment I laid eyes on it, it was a little more understandable why Jasper and Peter were friends. It looked as though it was vintage much like Peter's, but it was a Chevrolet. The contours of the car were a little more appealing to me, as was the pristine condition he seemed to keep it in.

"Nice car," I said, sliding into the soft broken in leather.

"Thanks, it's my baby. It's a nineteen-seventy Chevrolet Chevelle SS, it's really rare because of the engine it has in it. They were sold mainly for race cars but there were a few installed in street cars, and my baby was one of them," he said, running his hand over the dash before giving me a furtive glance. "You have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about do you?"

"Sorry." I grinned, biting my lip. "But Leah and Jacob make up for my lack of knowledge; Jacob loves vintage cars and their . . . blocks?"

"Block engines?"

I shrugged and smiled again. Maybe Leah was right, maybe knowing a car engine was the way into a man's head. She'd always said using car analogies made things easier for Jacob to understand, maybe she was onto something.

Jasper chuckled quietly and started the engine; it rumbled below us, growling and snarling as he hit the gas to warm it up. You could see the pure pleasure in his eyes as it roared one last time before idling. I held my breath as Jasper put it in gear and backed out of his drive, half expecting him to drive like Peter. Thankfully, I was wrong.

We rode together in silence with the radio playing softly in the background. It wasn't uncomfortable, it was pleasant, easy even. He would glance over at me occasionally and smile when we stopped at a red light, and I couldn't help but return it enthusiastically.

When he stopped the car outside the house he put it in park and turned in his seat so he was facing me.

"I had fun tonight. It was nice to see Edward have his ass handed to him in pool," he chortled, his fingers brushing over mine.

"He may have pressed my buttons a little with his comments, I was showing off."

"Yeah, I don't know what that's all about, but he's known to be a snob sometimes. Give him some time and he'll figure shit out."

I looked down at my hands in my lap, Jasper's fingers still brushing over the skin on the back of my hand. I liked Jasper a lot, he was sweet and kind and he looked out for me the way Emmett did. I loved spending time with him. So I decided I would be the first to make a move this time.

I leaned over the center console before raising my eyes to meet his. He met me half way, his lips pressing against mine with a little more urgency than there had been the first time. There was no hesitation, my lips separating without prompt and his doing the same. We moved together in synchronization, our hands gripping at the other with the need to close the distance between us. He was warm and soft, the chlorine from our swim lacing his familiar musk. His lips closed around my bottom lip, sucking gently on the flesh there before he pulled away, letting the air slowly fill my lungs again. I could definitely get used to doing this.

"I'll call you tomorrow." He grinned, his fingers running down the side of my hairline. "Don't let Izzy fuck with you; she's embarrassed and she'll lash out, but you don't have to take shit from her."

"Thanks," I whispered, my hand finding the latch on the door so I could let myself out.

"Oh, and tell Leah thanks."

"For what?"

Jasper winked at me, shaking his head.

"What did she do?" I would kill her for this. I should have known she'd meddle in some way. They'd been thick as thieves last weekend, and now I knew why. She was talking strategy.

"I'm sure you'll get it out of her."

I looked at him skeptically before pushing the door open. I narrowed my eyes in mock annoyance before I got out, earning a grin from him as he winked at me.

"Goodnight, Bella."

"Night, Jasper, thanks for the ride."

"That sounds dirtier than it should."

"Do you think of nothing else?" I asked with a laugh before I pushed the door closed and gave him a small wave.

His head fell back against the head rest as he let out a laugh loud enough for me to hear over the engine. I gave him one last smile before I turned around and headed toward the house, phone already in hand.

_'Bitch, what did you and Jasper plan? He said to tell you thank you!'_

I walked up the stairs with my shoes in my hands, waiting for the response. I was sure I already knew what she was going to say. I just needed her to confirm it. I got to the top of the first floor when my phone vibrated in my hand.  
_  
'You whore, you made out with him! I am so telling Seth you're cheating . . . . dirty giiirl!'_

I rolled my eyes and typed in my reply. She'd already admitted her guilt when she knew what he was thanking her for. I should have known she would pull something like this. Still, I couldn't exactly be mad about it, I wasn't complaining._  
_  
_'Kiss my ass! I can't believe you conspired with him! You're so getting your ass kicked next time I see you!'_

I had just hit send when I heard someone crying in one of the rooms by my door. I felt the guilt wash over me as I realized it was coming from Izzy's cracked door. I hadn't meant to upset her enough to make her cry. I hadn't even thought it was possible to make her react; she seemed entirely too cold to ever have that kind of emotion.

The question was, should I go in there and apologize or should I just go to bed and see what happened in the morning?

I turned around to my door and put my hand on the handle. She was upset. I was sure nothing would be resolved tonight; it wasn't as though there was any love lost between us anyway.

That was until I heard her whimper and a fresh wave of guilt crashed over me. I hated that I had morals sometimes. It wasn't as though apologizing would do a damn thing to help. She was my sister though. My shoulders slumped the moment I decided to get this out of the way tonight.

My first order of business was the silent hissy fit. I'm sure it would have been hilarious to anyone watching me, but for me, it was getting all the anger out before she decided to press all of my buttons again. My balled up fists came up and pushed into my eye sockets as I let my head fall back on my shoulders. Why couldn't I just go to bed? It would be so easy to turn around and open the door.

There was another muffled whimper from her room, and I let my hands fall to my sides. I could take a hint. I had to do this now.

I walked barefoot across the floor, pushing my phone into my back pocket in case I needed to defend myself from projectiles, and stood outside the door unsure of how to proceed. Did I knock or just walk in? Could I stick my head in and see if she was at least alright? Maybe then I could decipher whether she was going to bite my head off or not. For all I knew, these could be tears of rage and I was walking into a lion's den.

I scratched my eyebrow and rolled my eyes as I tried to decide. I was being ridiculous.

Stepping forward, I pushed the door open a little more to see where she was and at least make sure she was okay.

The scene in front of me hadn't been one I was expecting. My eyes widened and my breathing stopped as I saw her moving. She hadn't been crying. She was moaning; and she wasn't alone. The shock of black hair under her moved quickly as his head turned to the side. His blue eyes caught mine that were now wide with horror.

Without a thought of how loud I was being, I backed away and fled the scene. I threw myself into my room and locked the door before bolting up the stairs and into the bathroom assured that I wouldn't make it. My stomach lurched the moment I allowed my body to double over and heaved all of it's contents into the porcelain bowl in front of me.

I could feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket, but the heaving of my stomach was so violent I had to use both hands to stabilize myself. I threw up until there was nothing else to bring up. My phone was vibrating consistently in my back pocket and my head swam.

I flushed the toilet and pulled the phone from my pocket, collapsing on the floor. Sliding the bar across the front of the phone, I held it to my ear as the tears slid down the side of my face.

"You're not really mad are you?" Leah laughed at the other end, her silence ringing out as she awaited my response. "Bells?"

I burst into tears, the sobs rocking my body violently as I rolled onto my side and into a ball.

"Bella what the fuck happened? Talk to me," Leah screamed into the receiver as I tried to find my voice.

"Lee," I croaked.

"Bella, What's wrong?"

"Peter and Elizabeth, oh god, Lee . . ."

"WHAT?" she shouted, fear and anxiety coating her familiar voice. "What did those motherfuckers do?"

"Leah, they were fucking."

* * *

**A/N: I know it's disturbing . . . believe me I was hesitant to write it and thought maybe I could find a way around it, but alas . . . Okay try to remember there is NO BLOOD between them, they are Step siblings and yes they hate one another with a passion but this is all going somewhere I promise! I felt dirty writing it! Off to take a shower now!**

**As for the rest of the chapter I hope most of you are able to now see what I mean by "close" friends. I know it seems dangerous for Bella to let herself get this close, but I promise everything will make sense soon.**

**Thanks as always to my amazing beta, Annabanana who not only corrects all my mistakes xoxo, but also fills in gaps when it comes to this amazing city. Thanks girl!**

**To my hand holders, plot bunny, ledge talk downer friends who I love dearly - miztrezboo, bendingmirrors & Hev99 - thank you for being a group of amazing women and making me sane when I get freaked out. I love you all!**

**As always the blog is updated and ready to go!**

**Thank you to everyone of you who review. You guys are so amazing and I really appreciate that you take the time out to let me know what you think, and thank you for the amazing questions as well. I just hope I am able to answer then as best I can lol. I love everyone of you and I can't thank you enough!**

**Much love and HUGE hugz ~weezy~**


	14. Truce

_**All things Twilight belong to the Amazing Stephenie Meyer, tiny part of the plot is attributed to V.C. Andrews and the rest comes from my strange mind! Happy Tuesday!**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Truce**

_Drinking in order to feel  
Thinking, reinventing the wheel  
Kicking up mischief and feeding the fire  
Kicking up mischief and walking the wire  
**Picky Bugger - Elbow**_

_**

* * *

**_

"Come home," Leah whispered down the phone. Her shouting had woken Sue up, and I'd only just convinced her to not say anything so she made an excuse and promised to keep the noise down.

"Lee, what would I say to Carlisle?"

"Who the fuck cares? Tell him the truth, tell him his daughter is poison and his stepson is a perverted pig. I don't really care what you tell him, just get the hell out of there."

I knew she was right, I couldn't argue with her logic. It made sense for me to go home, to get out of here before the shit storm that was so obviously brewing blew up and scarred everybody. Yet, I hadn't had enough time with my dad. I'd been so involved in everything going on around me that I'd forgotten my very reason for agreeing to stay here.

Getting to know my father.

"You've been quiet for too long. What are you thinking?" Leah asked, sighing in frustration.

"Carlisle and how selfish I've been since I got here. I've barely seen him, Lee, and now I'm just going to leave and break his heart by telling him that my twin, his daughter, is fucking her step brother." I shuddered as the seared image I never wanted replayed itself in my head. It was disgusting, and now it made sense why Peter reacted to me the way he did.

"Do you think Emmett and his friends know?"

"I'd like to think Emmett doesn't, and I'm pretty sure that his friends don't. She has a boyfriend, and she and Peter hate one another."

"I honestly don't think Emmett knows," she agreed thoughtfully. "I mean he's a nice guy, I think it would sicken him. More importantly though, what are you going to do?"

The image played itself in my head again, Peter's piercing blue eyes catching mine as I backed out of the room, the noises, the glow from the street light that illuminated them both. My stomach rolled and I tried to think of anything else, but the only other mental image I could conjure was the disappointment on Carlisle's face.

"I don't know, Lee, I don't know that I can even look at either of them again after that. I mean, I knew they were fucked up but . . ."

My voice trailed off into nothing as a knocking at my bedroom door echoed through the room; it was so clear I could hear it where I was still huddled up in the bathroom floor. Chills ran through my body as Peter's eyes haunted my consciousness. Was he going to tell me to keep my mouth shut?

"What? What's wrong?"

"Someone's knocking at my door."

"Ignore it," Leah hissed, her voice cracking from trying to keep quiet.

"What if it's Carlisle, or Emmett?" Not that Carlisle would be up this late, considering he had a six am flight to catch in the morning.

"I hate your logic sometimes. Can you just pretend to be asleep?"

My phone sounded out a text alert over Leah's voice.

"Hang on," I said, pulling the phone away from my ear and looking down at the screen. Thankfully it was from Emmett.

_'You still awake? You got some 'splaining to do!' '_

"It's Emmett," I breathed, relief flooding my system. "Will you stay on the line with me? Just in case."

"Sure, but shouldn't your fear tell you that you can't stay there? What are you supposed to do? Tiptoe around them?" Leah asked as I made my way to the stairs, the adrenaline making my heart beat out to an odd rhythm.

"No . . . I don't know."

I tiptoed down the stairs, stepping over the one squeaky one as I descended. The only sound I could hear was Leah breathing on the other end of the line. I pressed my free ear up against the door.

"Emmett?"

"Hey, I didn't wake you up did I?"

I stepped back and opened the door, grabbing Emmett's shirt and pulling him into the room before closing the door and locking it again, my heart in my throat as the vision assaulted me with my memory.

"Hey," Emmett said, surprise coloring his tone as he looked at me. "You alright? You're really white."

I shook my head as I tried to swallow the new waves of sobs and nausea that rolled around in my body. My throat burned white hot as the sensation started making my mouth water, and I threw the phone at him as I took two stairs at a time and flew into the bathroom.

My stomach heaved again but resulted in nothing but the awful retching sound. It was so empty, not even the bile was escaping from my system anymore. I rolled onto the floor as soon as it passed and leaned my forehead against the cool tile floor.

"You ok?" Emmett asked from the bathroom door, his usual joviality absent from his voice.

I shook my head again, unable to bring the words to the surface. He crouched down next to me and pulled my hair out of my face as he sat me up. His worried eyes seemed to scan over my face again, and I finally noticed the phone that was held up to his ear.

"She looks really white, but I think she's okay."

I could hear the buzzing of Leah's voice through the receiver as she spoke to him, but I couldn't make out the words. I was mentally and physically exhausted, and I couldn't even think anymore. It probably wasn't the best way to react to this situation, but my body was making it's own decisions now.

"Leah wants to know if you want her to tell me?" Emmett asked, his conflicting emotions now evident.

"Please," I whispered. I didn't think I could say it all out loud again, and I wasn't even sure I knew how to break the news to him.

"She said, please," Emmett repeated, offering his hand to me so he could help me of the floor.

It seemed like an eon passed before there was any reaction. Emmett had helped me up from the floor, but I was perched on the edge of the bath while he leaned against the sink listening. I couldn't even look at him; I didn't want to see the look there if he did know what was going on. Would he feel betrayed that I had told someone outside of the family?

"You what?" he said, his voice quiet and fierce like a cat about to jump into a fight.

The fluttering murmur of Leah's tone was all I could hear again.

"Bella? Is this true?" Emmett asked as he moved toward me. I couldn't look up as I nodded. I couldn't ascertain why I felt so responsible, but it was there, coursing through my veins like ice.

Emmett leaned against the wall next to the tub and slid down it until he hit the floor. When I finally ventured to look at him, he was just as white as I felt. "Can we call you back, Leah?"

He nodded as Leah spoke and offered her a goodbye before hanging up the phone. We both sat in silence, neither of us knowing what to say. What was there to say after that?

An hour must have passed before he finally said anything at all.

"You okay?"

"Shaken up," I answered honestly, lowering myself from the bathtub to the floor so we were on the same level. "How about you?"

"Sickened, disgusted, angry, there's more but I won't bore you with the details."

"I'm sorry, Em, I really am. I was just going in there to apologize. It sounded . . ." I choked on the words and started again. "It sounded like she was crying, and her door was cracked open . . . I swear, I never . . ."

Emmett waved his hand to, I thought, stop me, but his words contradicted my assumption.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Bells, you were doing a good thing. You never . . . I mean, it's not natural."

"What do we do?"

"Maybe we could talk to them?"

I felt my mouth fall open with a pop as my dried lips separated. He wanted me to talk to them after what I'd seen? Shouldn't we go to Tanya and Carlisle? It wasn't as though I was well versed in having sex talks with my estranged family members, but it seemed to me that the adults were a lot more qualified to deal with this situation than we were.

"What?" Emmett asked, his eyes trying to read my expression.

"Shouldn't we tell Carlisle and Tanya?"

"I thought about that," Emmett sighed, running his hands through his dark curls and gripping the strands tightly between his fingers. "And I hate to say it, but I think that's what they want."

"I'm not sure I follow."

"Bella, Pete and Izzy agree on one thing, and one thing alone . . . they want to try and separate mom and Carlisle. They've tried everything, even getting into physical fights, but it's never enough to . . . well—shit—you should probably know, I guess. Carlisle and mom don't really want to be together. They put up a good front, but that's because they have to. Mom wants half of everything, and Carlisle's not budging. If he divorces her, cheats or initiates the proceedings in any way, mom has the chance of walking away with half of everything."

"And if she starts something, she gets nothing," I deduced.

"Exactly."

"How do you feel?"

"Carlisle's a good guy, Bella; I like hanging out with him. If I'm being honest, he's a damn sight better than my dad, although Pete would disagree with that. I like it here, but I hate what my mom is doing. She's used us as tools to get what she wants from men our whole lives, and as much as I love her, I know the woman would sell us for the right price."

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on them. Hearing it from Emmett's mouth was harder than I thought it would be, mainly because he didn't deserve it. He was one of the nicest guys I'd ever met; I'd even go as far as to say I considered him family. Hearing him talk about his family like that was heart breaking.

"I'm so sorry, Em, this is all so fucked up."

"You get used to it," he chuckled half-heartedly. "But I think that's why they're doing it."

"I don't know what to do anymore," I sighed, moving my head so my chin was resting on my knees. "Maybe I should go home and save everyone the trouble. I can't be helping matters."

"Don't you fucking dare leave me here on my own. After three years, I finally have someone I can relate to, someone I can talk to about all of this shit. You can't leave now."

"Well I have a house to myself, you could come with."

"Bella," Emmett laughed, his hand dropping and slapping to the tile below. "I know they're fucked up, but they're still our family. We can't just run away from this. We're the only two sane people in this insane asylum. Leaving them would be like the blind leading the blind. It would be an all out war."

"So what? We stay here and referee their bouts?"

"Do you see any other way? Our family may be fucked up, but I still love them."

"So our only option is to talk to them?"

"I think so. We don't have to do it together in the same room. You could talk to Izzy, and I can talk to Pete."

"I see that going down well," I mumbled, realizing I had to at least try to do this. Emmett, as misguided and loyal as he was, was right. I couldn't leave knowing all hell could break loose because of something I'd said or done.

"You can do it; I saw how you handled her at Jasper's. She doesn't have that ability; it's why she walks away."

"Sure," I said skeptically. "As long as you help clean up the mess once she's retracted her claws."

"You never know," Emmett laughed humorlessly. "The two of you may actually end up having a conversation—without it being a screaming match."

"I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you."

"No, I wasn't planning on it."

Emmett and I talked a while longer about how we should approach them and what we should say. I was more nervous than I had been since the day I came here to find Carlisle. I could hold my own in an argument, but it didn't mean I liked confrontation. That was Izzy's specialty.

When I finally crawled into bed, the exhaustion did nothing to push me into sleep like I'd hoped it would. I was physically and mentally exhausted, but I couldn't find sleep no matter what I did. After an hour of trying, I gave up and moved to the couch, turning on the television in hope it would distract me.

- o O o -

I woke up with the television playing some lame, made for television movie about a girl pregnant at sixteen, and my first thought was - _if only our problems were that simple._

The lack of sleep and uncomfortable hunger and thirst that lingered around me were making me grumpy, which wasn't going to bode well for the task I had been assigned for the day. Just what I needed on a Saturday morning.

I could only imagine a nap would be necessary in an hour, at the most. Less if I saw Izzy beforehand.

I really didn't want to do this.

Talking to Izzy wasn't exactly on the top of my list of priorities, but talking to Izzy about _this_ . . . . I may as well dress in a flame retardant suit before hand. I still wasn't exactly sure how to approach her. Was I supposed to say 'Hi, Izzy, I know we haven't said a civil word to one another yet, but I feel as though we should discuss your sexual habits with our step brother'?

I growled at myself before pushing off the couch. I at least needed food before I did this.

Unfortunately, there was a chance Izzy would be in the kitchen, then Emmett would force me to approach her. I wasn't even willing to do that in this grungy state. I needed a shower first, if for no other reason than to get the chlorine smell from my hair. I'd completely forgone the shower I'd been craving when I got home.

I finally wandered downstairs an hour later, showered and dressed, feeling a little bit better. I'd never taken so long to get ready in my life, and I was attributing it to my procrastination. Knowing Emmett, he'd already talked to Peter. They were probably back to ignoring one another by now. I wasn't so lucky.

Izzy was in the kitchen when I walked in, and I had to physically fight not to groan audibly. I had been hoping to put it off a little longer and maybe get some food in my stomach before it ate itself in a desperate attempt to gain sustenance.

"Morning," I mumbled as I made my way to grab the pop tarts out of the pantry.

Silence was my reply. It wasn't as though I expected anything more from her after our little spat at Jasper's house last night. It would also serve as a nice hurdle to overcome in order to have an actual conversation with her. At least I didn't have to worry about having Carlisle and Tanya walk in on our conversation. They were out of town for the week. He had a medical conference, and Tanya was in Vegas, gambling with the nameless ladies she seemed to socialize with.

I bit off the corner of the pastry and moved words around in my head, trying to decide how to approach her about this. I was probably annoying the shit out of her, but she didn't say anything. How was I supposed to even go about saying anything without it sounding like an accusation?

"Okay, you're pissing me off. What the fuck do you want?"

"To talk?" I asked rather than stated, leaning on the counter, the back of which was the elevated counter where she was sitting in her usual chair.

"And what the fuck do we have to talk about?"

I leaned on my elbows and let my finger trace the pattern in the marble of the counter top while I took another bite of the pop tart. This was so much harder than I'd even imagined it could be. This was like someone pulling out my fingernails with a wrench.

I let out all the air in my lungs after I swallowed and looked up at her. "A couple things, really. I think there were some things said that really shouldn't have been said, I think we've both made assumptions about each other with nothing to substantiate them, and . . . IsawyouwithPeterlastnight."

Izzy said nothing—she didn't move, she didn't blink, and I was certain she wasn't breathing either. It took her a minute to show any kind of emotion at all.

"You were _spying_ on me?"

"No," I said, elongating the o to demonstrate how very far from the truth that was. "When I came home, I thought I heard you crying, your door was open . . ." I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Okay, so what do you want, a medal?"

"You don't see anything wrong with that situation?"

"What do you care?"

She was more stubborn than I was. Enlightening in some ways and frustrating in others. I couldn't understand why she was so flippant about it. It was disgusting. Had she really not thought this through at all? Couldn't she see that ethically it was just plain and simply wrong?

"Look, I know we haven't really gotten along; I know neither of us has given the other a chance, and both of us refuse to back down. Whatever, that's great, but _this_, Izzy. This is disturbing. He's our step brother."

Izzy growled and let her head fall back on her shoulders as she eyed the ceiling overhead. She took deep measured breaths as she thought about her reply, and for a second, I thought she might even be civil.

"Look, I don't have to explain myself or my motivations to you. If you're that worried, tell Dad; if not, thanks for the chat on morals and scruples, and I'll be sure to think it through before I let him in my bed again."

"That's it?" I asked, surprised my stomach was able to roll with so little food inside of it.

"What do you want from me? You wanna know why? He's hot, it feels amazing, and it pisses Tanya off. Dad doesn't know, but what do I care if he does? Nothings going to change, he's never going to care enough to pick me over . . . it doesn't matter . . . think what you like. I don't care."

"You think he's picking Tanya over you? That's ludicrous."

"What the fuck do you know? You've been here what . . . two weeks? You're still shiny and new to him, but he's already got that under control." She winked sarcastically. "You've already got the credit card, the laptop, the state of the art shit in your room. He's buying your affection because he doesn't know how else to connect to you. A couple more weeks and you'll be handed more money when what you really want is time with him. Then we'll be equals again."

"I'm so sorry," I sighed, pushing up off the counter so we were eye level again.

"For what?"

"Everything. For our mother being such a selfish bitch, for our father not understanding what you want from him, for never getting to know you before they piled all of this shit on you."

"Don't you dare feel sorry for me."

"I don't, I pity you. You just keep using this to your advantage. I don't understand why you don't fight to spend time with him. I don't even understand why you're so hostile to me. You haven't even attempted to ask me questions or get to know me. We're twins, Izzy, identical twins, but you can't see past your selfish agenda to process that."

"Now who's up in her ivory tower?"

I laughed; I couldn't help it. Emmett had been right, her bark was worse than her bite, and even then, when she was cornered, she snapped at my ankles. She was using my own little speech against me.

"What the fuck is so funny?"

"Us, we can't even have a conversation without drawing blood. I have been trying so fucking hard to stay out of your way, hoping you would calm down," I laughed, shaking my head. "And it's useless. You've already decided how you feel about me. You hate me, and I'm just wasting my time."

"I don't . . . _hate_ you."

I tried to stifle my laughter as I raised an eyebrow at her skeptically.

"I don't, I just . . . dislike you."

My other eyebrow rose to meet the first.

Izzy started laughing with me. It was the first time I'd heard the sound, and it was eerily similar to my own. She leaned forward, and her beautiful turquoise and chocolate brown dress dipped into the leftover milk in her bowl, making her laugh harder still.

We laughed for a while, both of us gripping the counter for dear life as the tumults of laughter shook our bodies.

My laughter slowed first, turning into a sigh of satisfaction. It wasn't all better, but at least we'd managed to communicate in some way. I made my way over to the paper towels and pulled off a handful so I could hand them to Izzy. She accepted them gratefully with small spurts of giggles still emitting from her.

"Okay, okay," she sighed, trying to catch her breath. "Maybe we should call a truce. I really don't hate you, it's just easier to pretend you're not real."

"Did you know about me?"

"Nope, not an iota. It was just as much of a shock to me as it was to you. Do you know why?"

The question sobered me. I hadn't expected her to not know. I figured she'd gone to Carlisle with any questions she'd had about me and my existence. It seemed she really had pretended I didn't exist.

"Bella?"

"Our mother," I whispered.

"She's alive?"

"Yes, and she's the reason it all turned out the way it did. She's not this sweet loving person you seem to think she is. She's selfish and callous."

"Well, as a good-faith gesture from me, why don't we get into the pool and you can tell me everything? We'll have a trial sister day."

"I think I can handle that. If you promise not to drown me."

"I think I can manage that," she laughed, rolling her eyes as she got up from her chair and took her bowl to the sink. "I'll meet you outside."

"Okay," I said, offering a smile that I still felt a little unsure about.

I went up to my room to change, feeling as though I had just taken up permanent residency in the Twilight Zone. This truce was unprecedented, and it really didn't make much sense. I couldn't say I trusted her either. I was going into this with caution, heeding not only the stories of everyone else, but also my own experiences. The most I hoped for was basic levels of communication with a little civility thrown in there, but Izzy was offering a truce. Only time would tell if she really meant it.

Amazingly enough, when Izzy was being somewhat nice, she was actually good company. I told her everything I knew about what transpired when we were born. She seemed to take it a lot better than I had, and even seemed slightly apologetic about what she'd said to me. She asked questions about Leah and the rest of my extended family back home and confided in me about missing her friendship with Angela.

When her phone rang later in the afternoon, she surprised me even further.

"You're home for the weekend?" she asked, a hint of excitement in her eyes as the voice replied. "Yeah, sure. I'm bringing my sister with me."

There was a long pause while the other person spoke to her. All I could do was stare at her in disbelief as I tried to remember if I'd already made plans for the night. I didn't think I had.

"Yeah, a twin. Can you fucking believe it?" she laughed, giving me a conspiratorial grin. "That's only an hour. You know I need more time than that to get ready."

She managed to get off the phone with an extra hour to get ready; her mood was even more elevated than it had been before the phone call.

"You have a fake ID, right?"

I nodded. Still unsure of whether to trust her or not.

"Excellent. James is in town for the weekend. He goes to LSU, but he comes back occasionally to hang out for the weekend. We're gonna go party down on Bourbon Street. I already told him you were coming, so you can't back out on me."

"Sounds like fun."

"Oh it will be. I'm gonna go get ready," she said, springing up from the lounger she was perched on and dancing into the house, leaving the door wide open behind her. I assumed that was a rather large hint that I should follow her and do the same.

I took the hint, but didn't go straight to my room. Instead, I went and knocked on Emmett's door. I told him about the conversation we'd had and let him know where I was going to be. He almost seemed as surprised as I was at the change in direction between Izzy and me, yet he reminded me that I should watch my back and to call him if I needed anything.

I wasn't sure how she did it, but Izzy always seemed to be well put together. It was almost as though she'd gained all the fashion sense, while I was in my usual jeans and designer shirt combination that I had adopted since I'd been schooled by Tanya on how I should dress. It was a compromise on both our parts. One I was more than willing to take after the skirt she'd put me in the first night I'd been here.

We met up with Jessica and Mike, who were already entertaining their friend when we arrived. Jessica's eyes narrowed at my appearance, but Mike just seemed to smile even broader, his eyes flicking between us.

"Bella, you know Jess and Mike, but this is my friend James Webber."

"Webber?" I asked, looking for some similarity between Angela and the good-looking guy in front of me. "As in Angela's brother?"

"The very same." He smiled, offering me his hand. "You kinda look like Izzy did when she was eleven. Well, you look your age, but the hair . . ."

He was a good-looking guy, tall with dark hair and golden skin from being in the sun. His confidence seemed to exude from him in the way he carried himself—his shoulders were back, head up high, and his eyes were assertive. For some reason I couldn't really place, his smile made me comfortable.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should, Izzy looks amazing all the time, and being identical, I guess you're tarred with the same brush."

"Oh shut up," Izzy laughed, rolling her eyes. "Anymore of that and Mike will get jealous again."

"Babe," Mike pouted, his arm wrapping around her waist.

"What?" Izzy snapped, her eyes turning cold as she turned to Mike. It was obvious she was still upset with him about last night. If it hadn't have been Mike, I would have felt guilty, but I couldn't say he didn't deserve it. He was the epitome of a chauvinistic pig.

"Jealous?" James laughed.

"Oh yeah, he thought we were screwing when we went camping last April."

James didn't say a word, he just laughed and leaned against his car that was parked outside, what I assumed was, Jessica's house. I stood back and just observed them interacting as the stories from the camping trip they'd mentioned were retold in tandem by James and Izzy. They'd gone with James' family, which included Angela.

"Right, where are we going?" James asked, pulling keys from his pocket and pushing up from his car.

"Bourbon Street. I don't think Bella's experienced it right. She went with Emmett and Jasper," Izzy said, the distaste evident as she said the names. "I think it's time she got to party."

"You haven't partied on Bourbon yet?" James asked, his whole body turning to me. "Where have you been living?"

"Around," I grinned, hoping I wouldn't be ostracized the entire night for not being the party girl Izzy was.

"This will be fun then," James grinned, the mischief evident. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry at the statement. I knew they expected me to get drunk; they wanted to see me cut loose and do what they obviously did when they were together.

I didn't mind getting drunk on occasion, I had with Leah; the only problem was . . . I didn't know if I could trust Izzy and her friends.

* * *

**A/N: Dun Dun Dunnnnnnn. can she trust Izzy and her friends? Personally i don't think I would trust Mike as far as I could throw him and Jessica is cold calculating . . .*deep breaths* Still Bella wants to get to know her twin. This standing truce is the best option she's had to do that. **

**Thanks to Annabanana for being an awesome beta. She fixes my bad grammar and such and checks for accuracy when it comes to locale. She kinda rocks!**

**Thank you to BE4Evr and tg10781 for the recc in the story An Angel Closes Her Eyes. You guys are amazing.**

**Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99, a trio of amazing ladies who I would probably fall apart without. You guys keep my head up and eyes focused even when I melt lol. I love ewe guise!**

**Thank you to everyone that reviews. Every one of you put so much thought into what you write and you are all amazing. Thank you so much for your support and questions and for keeping me smiling. I love you guys too!**

**Till next week :)  
**

**Much love and huge hugz ~Weezy~  
**


	15. Intervention

_**All Things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer, and a small hint of the plot comes from V.C. Andrews. The rest comes from my strange mind lol. Happy Tuesday!**_

**Disclaimer:** I know it seems choppy, but it's supposed to be that way. I hope it makes sense.

* * *

**Intervention**

_ Walk the line and pay the price.  
A pound of flesh for paradise.  
Wear the wounds of your demise._  
_**All Your Lies - 10 Years**_

_**

* * *

**_

I woke up, my head thick and swimming with the dull ache of left over alcohol in my system. It made it hard to think about what had happened the night before. The beginning had been so clear, we'd met up with James, Jessica and Mike then headed down to Bourbon Street. I think I'd asked for a beer when James offered to buy the first round, but he came back with kamikaze's instead. It had set a pace for the rest of the evening and there was no changing after that.

I remembered dancing with James, then I think Izzy and I were dancing and after that there was just haziness. A blur of colors and sounds that I couldn't make sense of now my mind was my own again.

What had happened last night?

I tried to sit up but fell back into the pillows when the room swirled uncomfortably around me. My stomach rolled with loud noises that seemed to echo through the quiet room. Now there was a dull thud in my head to add to the list too.

I never, ever, wanted to drink like that again. If my stomach hadn't been churning from the inhuman amounts of alcohol I'd consumed, I would imagine my embarrassment at not knowing what the hell I did would offer the same reaction.

The worst part was I didn't even remember getting home. How had I gotten here? How had I managed to get in bed?

In a moment of sheer panic, I pulled the covers off my body and looked down at myself, releasing a breath of relief as I realized I was still fully dressed.

"Morning."

I looked up and saw Izzy bouncing up the stairs and into my room, looking as bright as the day was new. Her hair was perfect, her outfit was pristine, and I felt nauseous.

"How the hell are you so chipper after last night?" I grumbled, my voice cracking with strain as I tried to project the sound.

"Somebody didn't drink water and take a Tylenol before they passed out," Izzy laughed, bounding over to the bed and hopping onto it, making my body rock and my stomach churn.

"What the hell happened?"

"You were pretty fucked up is what happened," she chortled, falling onto her back, making my whole body curl in on itself to stop the nausea from becoming a reality. "I had so much fun. Oh and James wants your number, he texted me this morning. I lied of course and said it was up to you; I didn't want to tell him I didn't have it, and really it _is _up to you."

"What?"

"You don't remember dirty dancing with him?" Izzy laughed, flipping over so she was facing me. "I think his hand was on your ass most of the night, then the guy who tried to take you out of the club . . . James almost killed him. Good thing you had your game face on and stopped him. Didn't much fancy having to explain to the cops how we got in there. I should warn you though, James has a girlfriend at LSU, just in case that's not your thing."

"God, I don't remember any of that," I moaned, throwing my arm over my eyes with shame.

"Nothing to worry about, it was all harmless fun. I had to kind of throw you into bed though—I know we're identical, but I really didn't want to undress you, didn't know how you would react. You're hilarious when you're drunk by the way. There was this one guy trying to get you to go home with him, and you kinda killed him with sarcasm."

"Oh no."

"It wasn't bad. In fact, I was quite impressed with your drunken wit," she sang before pausing for thought. "Right, I'm going to get you some Tylenol and a gallon of water, you're going to go take a shower. We're going over to Jess' to swim and drink Hurricanes."

"No."

The thought of putting anything more than water and food into my body made me cringe away from her. There was no way in hell I was ever going to drink like that again. Especially not when I was this hung over. The girl had to be insane.

"Oh come on. Don't be such a puss. The hair of the dog and all that. It'll be fine. You won't feel much better if you lay around all day. Come on, I promise you don't have to drink too much; do what I do, milk the one your drinking. No one will notice."

I removed my arm and looked at her with my eyebrows high. "You said that last night. I remember that much. You didn't tell me about the shots, you can't really milk a shot, Iz."

"Come on, please," she begged, pushing out her bottom lip and giving me puppy dog eyes. "You're my sister, and you told me you loved me last night. If you really loved me you would get up."

Leah had always told me I was too free with the I love you's when I was drunk, not that I was drunk that often. If I didn't believe it before, I sure as shit did now. I also couldn't believe Izzy was playing the sister card with me. Forty-eight hours ago we couldn't stand one another.

"Fine," I grumbled, trying to work up the motivation to move.

"Excellent," she crowed, rolling to her knees, then she bounced on my bed. "Get up. Get up. Get up."

That was when I had no choice but to roll out of bed and run to the bathroom. It seemed every ounce of alcohol still in my body wanted out, immediately.

I jumped in the shower the moment I was finished. I felt disgusting, my skin felt gritty and tight and the hair at the back of my neck was almost stiff from getting so hot, or so I assumed. I must have spent a good forty minutes in there because the hot water felt so glorious on my skin.

When I finally stepped into my room to finish getting dressed there was an outfit on my bed next to the nightstand which held Tylenol and a glass of water. Who knew that Izzy was capable of kindness? Let alone compassion. I sure as hell didn't, not until now anyway.

I got dressed in what she'd laid out, figuring I would keep the peace while my head felt like it was splitting down the middle. I really didn't want to debate why I'd picked out my own clothes when she'd so thoughtfully done it for me. I just hoped that she didn't mistake my acquiescence for a green light to be my personal dresser.

The moment I arrived downstairs, she gave me a nod of approval and hurried me out the door and into the car. Only stopping to let me get something to eat before we reached our destination.

Jessica's backyard was amazing. It was similar to Jasper's with tall palms and a lagoon pool, but it was also obvious that her parents liked to party a little more than the Whitlocks. Tucked away in one corner of the yard was an outdoor kitchen with a bar attached to the end of it. James and Mike were already there, sitting on the stools, facing Jessica on the other side who was currently operating a blender.

"Ladies," James crooned, sliding out from the stool with his arms open. "Fashionably late as always I see."

Izzy stepped into one side of him without a second thought. One of his arms wrapped around her, pulling her tight to him which made me realize the other arm was for me. I stepped into him, letting him pull me close to his body.

It felt a little awkward to be this close to someone I had no recollection of bonding with. I'm sure we'd built up some kind of friendship last night while I was drunk, even if I didn't remember it. It probably didn't help that I was still feeling a little hung over.

"How are you feeling this morning?" he asked, looking down at me, small traces of concern shadowing his eyes.

"Not good," Izzy laughed, "She needs a drink and soon. I think I will have to force feed her water and headache meds before she sleeps. She was hurting this morning."

"Rookie mistake."

"If you say so," I grumbled, pulling back.

"I know a really great hangover cure," James offered, releasing both Izzy and me at the same time.

"What's . . ." Before I could even finish my sentence I was hoisted into the air in his strong arms as he ran toward the blue-green water.

"No, no, no," I squealed as he launched himself into the air.

The water felt cool as we sliced through it. My arms and legs were tangled with James' as we sank to the bottom. James cradled me against his chest and kicked, grinning at me as we broke through the surface once again.

"James, you just jumped into the water with Chanel. Are you insane?" Izzy laughed at the edge of the pool, her hands on her hips. Trust her to dress me in designer clothes for a pool party.

"Oh no!" James' sarcastic remark had him dropping me and covering his face in mock horror. I resurfaced just in time to see him grab her legs and pull her into the pool as well.

"My Jimmy Choo's." Was the first thing out of her mouth when she resurfaced, the heels in her hands. "I just got them in New York, you asshole."

"Looks like you'll have to buy another pair then, doesn't it," James retorted, his hand skimming the surface of the water so it rained over her.

The pool seemed to explode into life after that: Mike jumped into the pool, his body in a ball, soaking Izzy again as he landed next to her. Jessica sauntered up to the edge with a smirk and kicked off her shoes before jumping in herself.

Water flew in all directions as each of us fought to cover the others. Izzy and I teamed up to dunk James under the water, but he managed to throw us off and elude our kicking arms and legs. Jessica, at some point, had gotten out to put on music and get us drinks.

The fruity cocktail tasted like a slushy, and I couldn't seem to stop myself from guzzling the cool liquid from the red plastic cup. It was too good to stop. Much to my surprise, the hangover all but disappeared with each drink, eventually just disappearing completely after my sixth or was it seventh drink?

Before I knew it things were getting patchy again.

I had been laying on one of the loungers, soaking up the last of the sun as it lazily sank behind the horizon. I was dizzy and lethargic from all of the drinks I'd been consuming, and the surreal confusion of my alcohol numbed mind was making me sleepy.

The cool droplets of water pulled me back from the cusp of sleep, and I was aware of someone standing over me, offering me another drink. I couldn't seem to stop myself though. Part of me was saying what a bad idea this was, but the rest of me reached for the drink with enthusiasm, giving me a second wind.

Izzy pushed me back in the water the moment I was on my feet again, and I was hoisted onto James' shoulders. Izzy was on Mike's and we were trying to knock one another off, squealing and laughing as I ignored the way James gripped my thighs. The last thing I really remembered was falling into the water and cracking my head on the steps, and oddly enough, laughing. Jessica handed me another drink and a towel to hold to the back of my head to stop the bleeding.

Then I woke up in my own bed, my head feeling like a cracked egg. Once again wondering how the hell I got home as I let off a groan of pain. Even my limbs didn't feel like my own.

"What the hell happened?"

I started at the voice and sat up in bed only to feel woozy again. Emmett was sitting on the edge of the mattress, holding out a glass of water in one hand and pills in the other. I couldn't see his face because the light on the nightstand silhouetted him.

I took the pills gratefully and drained the glass of water, hoping it would be enough to stop my mouth from drying out again or at least ease the throbbing that vibrated around my skull intensely.

"Thank you."

"What happened, Bells? Izzy said you hit your head on the steps in the pool. Is that right?"

"Yeah, I was on James' shoulders, Izzy and I were trying to knock one another down. Why, what happened?" I asked confused. It really didn't hurt all that much when it had happened, and I didn't remember there being all that much blood. It was just another accident to add to the cache I had been building up since birth.

"James brought you in, you were passed out and covered in blood. It looks like you're still bleeding too," he said nodding to the pillow, his eyes wide. "How hard did you hit your head?"

I turned slowly and noted the pink stain on the pillow, immediately feeling embarrassed.

"I didn't mean to worry you, Em. I'm sorry."

"Look, I'm not trying to get in your business, Bella. I'm just worried. I know you're working at building a relationship with Izzy, but you don't have to turn into her to do it. She's been in this destructive loop for years; it's another way of getting Carlisle's attention. You don't have to play her games."

"Emmett. I'm just having a little fun. Two days of fun isn't exactly habit building."

"But it's not you, Bella. None of this is you."

"Actually the head hitting part is," I said, smiling sheepishly as I tried to ease the tension, but there was no trace of humor on Emmett's usually smiling face. Just concern.

There was a small ring of silence between us as my joke fell flat. I knew that I wasn't acting like myself. This was as far from me as I could possibly get without getting plastic surgery. I wasn't even sure I could say I enjoyed it either, because it was all a blank after a certain point. I had no idea what had happened between hitting my head and getting home.

"You could have had a concussion."

"But she didn't," Izzy said from the stairs where she was standing with her hands on her hips. "She's fine, grandad, so why don't you leave her the fuck alone?"

"No, it's okay, Iz," I whispered, laying my aching head against my knees as a small wave of dizziness shook me. "He's just taking care of me like he promised Leah."

"Wow, she doesn't like you to have any fun then."

"No, that's not it," I sighed, getting defensive. My head felt too heavy to pick up off my knees, so I turned my head to look at her. "You have to understand, we've been friends since birth. We've always looked out for one another."

Izzy nodded and turned to walk back down the stairs. I could see that she felt hurt by the statement. Maybe she was finally beginning to wish that we'd had the same opportunity. I hated that it had been taken from us, that we'd never had the chance to be sisters until we were perfect strangers. I also hated that she looked so dejected.

"I had fun this weekend though, Iz. Thank you for inviting me out."

The comment earned me a smile and a wave of her hand as she descended the stairs. "See you in the morning."

"K," I answered, cringing at the sound of my own voice. It sent waves of pain from the back where I could feel the lump throbbing, to the temples that were echoing my pulse through my fragile mind.

Emmett and I both sat in silence as she descended, neither of us moving until the door clicked at the bottom.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interfere."

"You're not," I sighed, resting my hand on his. "I appreciate your concern."

"Do you mind if I check your head?"

"Sure, want me to move so you have more light?" I asked, not really wanting to move because my entire body hurt. I just knew that he wouldn't be satisfied until he saw it for himself.

"No, you're fine. I'll move the light to you. You don't look like you feel so good."

I bent my head further forward so the crown of my head was pressed against my knees, giving him better access to the back of my head. I winced as his fingers separated the hair around the throbbing tender lump that was beginning to feel like Mount Everest.

"Jesus, that looks bad. Maybe we should get that looked at. There's a lot of blood, and the cut looks pretty deep."

"I can't go anywhere, Em."

"Why not. I'll drive you, I don't expect you to drive yourself."

"It's not that, I was drinking, I'm a minor. It's just not a good idea."

"Oh and bleeding to death is?" He chuckled awkwardly. I knew him well enough to read between the lines to see he was indeed half serious.

"Head wounds always bleed more."

"Alcohol thins the blood."

"I'll be fine, I've had worse."

"You're so frustrating," Emmett laughed, shaking his head. "I know you've got to be hurting like a son of a bitch, but you're still too stubborn to swallow your pride and get your wrists slapped by the doctor."

"Look I promise if it's still bad in the morning I'll go. For now just let me sleep."

"What if you do have concussion though?"

I wanted to hug him for caring enough to question me, but I knew the symptoms of concussion. I knew that anything I was feeling other than the stinging ache at the back of my head was to do with the alcohol. There was no comparison.

I could even explain the blood on my pillow. I was sure it was simply the pool water mixed with the blood.

"Emmett I'm fine. I do have a headache, but I'm not dizzy, there's no visual disturbances, and I'm lucid. Believe me, I've been concussed enough to know when to bite the bullet and go see someone. The water took away most of the impact anyway, I think it was more the edge of the step than the impact that cut me."

"What are you some child genius?"

"No, I'm clumsy, remember."

Emmett chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. "You're really going to fight me on this aren't you?"

"Yes, I am. I'm not having the first week alone in this house be tainted by a stupid accident that really isn't as bad as it seems. Carlisle trusts us. I don't want to break that trust."

"You drive a hard bargain. I still think we should take you to the hospital."

"Look I promise, I will go tomorrow if my vision is off or I feel dizzy or confused in any way."

We stared at one another, waiting for the other to concede and admit defeat. Thankfully, I'd known Leah my whole life, so I was a wall of defiance. The longer we stared, the more I could see his resolve dwindling.

"Fine, but I don't like this."

"I'll be okay," I said, picking my head up off my knees and forcing the mumble of pain to recede back down my throat. "Just need some rest is all."

"I'll be up here to wake you up in the morning. If you're in a coma or some shit I am gonna kick your ass after Leah's kicked mine."

"There won't be any need," I assured him with a gentle laugh.

He offered me a goodnight and filled the glass up with water from the bathroom, bringing me a towel to stop any more damage to the pillow than there already was. He left, turning off the lights and leaving me to fall into a more stable and comfortable sleep.

As promised, Emmett woke me up the next morning; his gentle shaking made me jump awake, sending spikes of pain through my head. A combination of the lump and my hangover was not the best way to start a school day, but I swallowed my complaints and assured him I was okay.

I assured him again as I ate breakfast and swallowed more pain pills.

I assured him again in the truck on the way to school.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a chance to assure Jasper in first period, because I ran out of the room to throw up breakfast as my body shook uncontrollably. This wasn't the head trauma though, this was the alcohol.

Fortunately, or unfortunately if I was in the right mind to distinguish the two, Izzy was in the bathroom I'd managed to reach. She waited silently for me to finish my misery in the stall before saying a word. Then she offered me a solution that I knew better than to take.

A small flask full of vodka.

I'm not saying it was my finest moment. I drank half the flask before feeling functional again and managed to make it back to class, assuring the teacher that I was fine while Jasper gave me funny looks. At lunch, I was whisked away by Izzy and Mike to the bleachers where they fed me more alcohol and left me on a very tenuous line between sober and inebriated.

After school, we met up again and got shit faced at Mike's house.

It became a routine, waking up feeling like shit and drinking to take the edge off, going to the bleachers at lunch and testing my new found alcohol limitations. Then finishing in the evenings, getting fall over drunk before starting again.

Jasper was the second one to try and talk me out of this painful self destruction, but he tried when I was drunk and I called him a few names while giggling at the video we were watching in class. Rosalie tried next, taking the "I know it seems like fun and games now, but you can't see what it's doing to you. We can," approach. Even Edward tried with his snide underhanded comments and superiority complex. I shot him down before giving him the finger and stumbling away laughing.

It wasn't even as if he'd been his normal colorful self, he'd simply asked me to think about what I was doing to the people who cared about me. It just seemed like a contradiction that he would be the one to throw that at me. I could take it from Emmett and Jasper, even Rosalie and Angela because I knew they cared. Edward didn't.

I could remember each of these conversations in my sober moments, but it was hazy, like a dream I wasn't really sure had happened at all.

By the time Friday rolled around again, I was happy that I wouldn't be at school to feel nagged about what I was doing. Even though deep in my heart I knew they were right I couldn't seem to force myself to stop.

Izzy and I met up with Mike, James and Jessica. James had come back for the weekend again and immediately started the night by handing me a shot the moment we eased into the full bar.

I tried to slow the pace of my drinking. There was only one night this week I remembered how I got home and into bed, the rest was a mystery to me. I needed to keep control and start being responsible again, even though I was having the time of my life. It was, however, made increasingly hard when Izzy, Jessica or Mike would hand me a shot every time James went to the bar to buy another drink.

I spent most of the night talking and laughing with James who seemed to slow down on the drinks as well, while Izzy, Mike and Jessica knocked them back and made a spectacle of themselves on the dance floor. We talked quietly amongst ourselves as James deflected any unwanted attention to us by throwing his arm over my shoulder and pulling me close to his body protectively.

I was still drinking a lot, even after my promise to myself, and my head was already swimming. Jessica had just handed me another kamikaze. James followed that with another sweet shot before dragging me out on the dance floor toward the others. The inhibition of liquid courage had my hips rocking from side to side as I danced by the group. The music was hypnotic in my foggy brain. Ignoring everything else around me.

Hands gripped my hips and pulled me into a hard body behind me, and for one lucid second I turned to see who was there. James smiled as he moved with me, nodding to indicate I should continue. His fingers flexed against my heated skin as they edged up under my shirt. He moved slowly and easily over my damp skin as we danced together.

The air was so hot in the bar, I could feel a small trickle of sweat rolling down my spine as my hair clung to the skin on my neck and shoulders. My chest felt heavy and constricted as I drew in breath, but I continued to move, accepting drinks as they were placed in my hand, draining the glasses that made my head roll and swirl.

Everything was moving too quickly around me, bodies and colors left tracers in their wake, blending together to make nauseating rainbows swirl and crash together in my slow brain. I tried to stop moving, but I couldn't, the hands on my hips were doing the work for me as the beat continued on. This didn't feel like it did before, this felt wrong, different and wrong. My limbs felt numb and achy and I was so tired.

"Bella?" James asked quietly, his lips close to my ear as my head lolled forward. "What's wrong?"

"I don't feel good," I slurred. Even though I was attempting to articulate each syllable. Was this how I was when I was drunk and didn't remember things? Or was this something else as I had first suspected?

"You need some air?"

"No," I choked, stepping out his arms and almost falling on the spot. I needed a bathroom. I just wasn't sure I had time.

I bolted through the crowd with my hand over my mouth, willing my stomach to still as I fought my way through the bodies that were grinding and writhing around me. My balance made me walk in zig zags as I hit things that should have been well out of my range.

I could hear my name being called behind me, but I kept moving until I could see the universal sign for the ladies room. I crashed through the door, surprising people waiting in line patiently. Eyes widened too far as their faces seemed to move around me, but I couldn't pay attention to that, my stomach was twisting and heaving violently.

The girl at the front of the line pointed to the stall a woman had just come from, indicating I should go first. I gave her a nod but fell into the stall, my body bending over to empty the contents of my stomach as my foot slammed against the door to keep it closed.

I flushed the toilet and stood up, leaning against the wall of the stall as I panted for breath. My stomach had been empty, only the alcohol seemed to expell from my system, and I realized I couldn't remember the last time I'd eaten. I couldn't remember much of anything, except the fog in my head I was trying to focus my eyes through now.

I turned to the door, noticing the same tails of color that followed behind everything my eyes touched. I gripped the small handle in my hand as I tried to steady myself. This needed to stop. I needed something to drink to stop the spinning.

A small round of applause greeted me when I stepped out, and I felt the blush rise up to my cheeks as the clean oxygen finally filled my lungs again. I washed my hands and tried to focus at the way my hands went through my hair before I stumbled to the side and into some chick putting on mascara. I staggered backward muttering an apology as I headed toward the door where the music seemed to flow from.

When I pulled it open, I saw James on the other side, his eyes wide and worried.

"You okay?"

"Drunk, really drunk," I sighed, swaying on the spot.

"You can't be."

"What do you . . ." I put my hand over my mouth as my mouth flooded with saliva. "What. Do. You. Mean?"

"I was buying you virgin shots all night. You looked like shit. I figured you needed a night off."

"Then why?" I asked, hearing the whine in my own voice. "and I'm really really hot."

"Come on, lets get you some fresh air."

"What about, Izzy?"

"They've gone, Bella. Now listen to me, I think someone spiked your drink. I need you to act a bit more coherent so we don't get questioned. Do you think you could do that for me?"

I nodded and tried to walk forward, but lost my balance, stumbling over my own feet. I was only righted when James' arms caught me and pulled me against his body.

"How are you feeling?"

"Really dizzy, I feel like I should be walking in a straight line but can't."

"Who else gave you a drink?"

"Jessica, I think, I'm not sure."

James held up my weight with one arm as he walked us through the sea of bodies toward the door. I could feel the cooler air the moment we got close to it. James mumbled under his breath and straightened us both out as we got to the door.

My head snapped upright, and I could immediately see why he was working so hard. There were a couple of uniformed officers talking to the bouncers at the door, their eyes scanning the crowds and scrutinizing everyone that was leaving the bar.

"Come on, babe. The babysitter will be wondering where we are," James said confidently, his arm pulling me into his body as he nodded at the cop watching us. To my amazement, the officer simply nodded in response and went back to scanning the crowd as James lead me down the street.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, do you need to sit down?"

"That wasn't nothing. You just told me that we had to get home to our make believe children. What's going on?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes," I nodded, my head swirling uncomfortably, making my eyes flutter.

"I think this was one of Izzy's games. The cops, the drinks, everything. She left after you headed to the bathroom. I followed them out and asked what they were doing. Izzy said, and I quote, 'It's Bella's induction into the Cullen hall of shame.'''

I couldn't even think enough to process that, the only thing I could do was question him. I couldn't understand why she would do such a thing when we'd been getting along so well up until this point. Was all of this a ruse? Had she befriended me to make a mockery out of me?

"What? Why?" I asked, the words bleeding together so much it even sounded alien to me.

"It's what she does, she tests people to see how far she can go. Jess probably didn't help matters; she doesn't like you for some reason, something about a guy fawning all over you. I don't think she meant you any real harm. She just wanted to get you in trouble so you wouldn't be the golden child anymore."

"All of this was to get me into trouble?" I asked, clarity making a small cameo in my otherwise clouded mind.

"I think so. I can't be sure, but with Iz it doesn't matter who you are. She will do anything to get her own way. I normally don't spend that much time with her, after what she did to Ange . . . well she was more of an acquaintance, but she kept calling so I hung out with her when I just couldn't say no."

"Then why did you call her?" I asked, remembering the conversation I'd overheard between them last week when Izzy and I had spent some time together.

"Well, I was curious. Angela had mentioned you, and how you reminded her of her friendship with Izzy. I didn't mean any harm by it; I came home this weekend because I enjoyed your company last week."

"I thought you had a girlfriend."

"What? Who told you that?" he asked, his eyes narrowing making him look dangerous. I couldn't help but retract from him as he tried to regain control of his temper.

I should have known it was a lie, but it hadn't mattered anyway. I wasn't interested in James like that. I considered him a friend and nothing more. I just couldn't understand why she would feel the need to lie about something that was inconsequential to me. Did she like James? What that a little secret she was trying to hide?

The more i thought about all of this, the more everything swirled around in my body like a hurricane. All of the lies and deceit, the way I had lied and beguiled the people who truly cared about me. The way Izzy had used me in her twisted little game. All of it made me sick to my stomach and I just wanted to go home and go to bed. Hide under the covers until it all went away.

"You look like you're going to throw up again."

"I want to go home."

"I can take you, come on."

James pulled me into his body again and walked me toward where he'd parked his car earlier in the night. I still felt dizzy and incoherent in ways, but I had my mind again. I knew that whatever relationship I thought I had with Izzy was over. I wasn't sure if I would miss it, so much of it was a blur. I had been drinking for almost a week solid, the lucid moments sadly in conceit to the drunken reality I had been living.

The faces of the friends I'd made seemed to swirl past my consciousness as I let James guide me. That should have been my red flag, that and not talking to Leah for days on end. It should all have been a warning, except when I had alcohol in my system, I let go, I had fun.

It was all a lie.

I was silent in the car on the way home. I was trying so hard to keep my mind working. The guilt was like a shower of summer rain falling constantly on me as the faces of the people I loved and disappointed churned around together in the swirls of color already in my head.

What was I thinking?

"Bella."

My head rolled on the seat and looked at my savior of the evening. The one person who'd woken me up and finally made me see what I was doing. I wasn't really sure it was his intention, but it's what he'd accomplished.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I know you've still got to be effected by whatever they put in your drink. You're home."

I rolled my head in the other direction and looked out the window at the dark house that towered above the street. Was she in there? The girl that had called herself my sister and tried to take everything from me. The girl I had been so desperate to befriend, I trusted her and let her crack me once again. Did it matter?

"Thanks for the ride home, James."

"Anytime. I hope we get to hang out again, Bella."

I leaned forward and grabbed the handle of the door to let myself out but felt his hand wrap around the top of my arm to stop me.

"Hey, I know this isn't exactly the best time, but . . ."

My whole body shrank away from the question, shutting him off before he'd even managed to get to the point. I hated being that way after he'd been kind enough to help me, but I just couldn't deal with that right now.

"I'm sorry."

"No," he chuckled, releasing my arm and patting me gently. "Bad timing on my part, I'm just not sure when I'll see you again."

"I'm sorry, James. I'm really not feeling well. Maybe we can catch up soon." My body ached as I said the words as though they were reiterating the statement. My forehead beaded with sweat even in the cool air of the car, and I could feel my chest heaving for oxygen.

"No problem. Goodnight, and I'm sorry about what happened."

I offered him a weak smile and climbed out of the car, shutting the door behind me. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and disappear for a week. I had acted terribly to my friends, pushing them aside to do whatever the hell it was I was doing with Izzy.

I opened the door and locked it behind me, hoping I wouldn't see anyone on the way up. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone and I really did feel ill. I made it into my room, my legs were feeling weak and my head was still spinning which made it so difficult to concentrate on the stairs that were directly in front of me.

I fell to my knees and made my way up to my floor on all fours. By the time I reached the top, I was ready to just collapse and sleep where I fell. Everything was swimming and swirling, my body was damp from sweating and my heart was beating too rampantly in my chest.

"Bella?"

A light flickered on in the room somewhere, and I heard footsteps hurry across the wooden floor.

"What the hell happened to you?" Concern was the most noticeable thing in her voice as she fell to her knees beside me and brushed the hair from my face.

"Leah," I spluttered, my throat closing over as the sobs over took my weak body. "Help me."

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**A/N: I guess the sense of foreboding was definitely there for a reason. I know that most of you were upset about Bella's need to get to know her twin, and most of you were begging her not to trust her. Unfortunately she did and it didn't turn out well at all. At least Leah's on the case now though!**

**I hope you all had a great long weekend (If you had one) and I apologize about the non update of the blog but that will be done later today.**

**Thanks to Annabanana, my awesome beta. She is amazing and somehow manages to get through the mess I like to call my grammar!**

**To my awesome friends and prereaders, Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors and Hev99. I don't know what I would do without you ladies! I love you all loads! Huge hugs and thanks for keeping me grounded and relatively calm.**

**Thank you to each and every one of you that review. You wouldn't believe how much you all make me smile. You're so thoughtful with you insight, comments and questions and I look forward every week to see what you have to say! You're all amazing and I love you guys!**

**Much love and huge Hugz ~Weezy~**


	16. Burning The White Flag

_**All Things Twilight belong to the amazing SM, and there are some hint and allusions to a V.C. Andrews novel, and the rest is my twisted little mind ;) Happy Tuesday!**_

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**_**Burning The White Flag  
**_I've missed so many days  
__In a world that has become an unfamiliar place__  
Now to you, I'm just an unfamiliar face__  
I'm losing myself again  
You swore you'd be around this time_**_  
Blown Away by Shiny Toy Guns_**

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"Bella. Bella look at me. What's going on?"

My heavy eyelids felt like ten ton weights as I tried to lift them to look at Leah, her voice sounding so faint in my clouded mind, and it took me a while to focus on her at all.

"I don't feel well. She spiked my drink, Lee. Who does that?"

"Right." Leah pulled my body from the floor and sat me upright, making my head wobble and my eyes go in and out of focus. "What did that little bitch do?"

"Do we have to talk about this now?" I whispered. Her words, too loud, were echoing around my head and bouncing around my skull like a pinball machine. It was too much to try and process the actual words as well as filter out the noise they made in my head.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"Lee, don't." I begged. I knew she was upset and had every right to be, but I wasn't myself and I didn't want to get into an argument about this when I'd already decided enough was enough. Izzy's little game had finally come to the forefront. I was honestly scared about what would have happened if she hadn't pulled this.

"Don't what? Care? Sorry too late for that, Isabella, you've been my best friend for almost seventeen years; I don't just care about you. I love you. Don't get upset? It's too late for that too. I have never in my life seen you like this. What are you doing?"

"Having fun," I mumbled, pushing myself to my feet and swaying so violently I almost fell down the stairs. I marched away from Leah, my feet working against me as they crossed over one another in front of me, making me stumble.

"This is what you call fun now? Really? Because to me you look skinny and sick. Your hair is like fucking hay and you smell like alcohol and cigarette smoke."

"You act as though you've never drank before. I know that I don't cut loose often, and sure, I kinda dropped the ball a little, but why are you so fucking upset? I'm not hurting anyone. Not really."

I knew that was a lie, but Leah's attack was making me defensive. She'd never spoken to me like this before, and it hurt. We both seemed to be out for blood as we faced one another.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Leah shouted again, her long legs pushing her up from the ground with ease. She strode toward me, her steady steps carrying her with an accuracy I wish I currently possessed. She stopped in front of me, her face close to mine as she caught my eyes. "Not _hurting_ anyone? Bells, you haven't called me in a week. Poor Emmett is worried out of his mind, Jasper is hurt and a little insulted by the way you've been acting. You think that's not hurting anyone? You're starting to sound like your doppelganger."

"Jealous?" I spat uncharacteristically. Even I knew that was a low blow. I wasn't even sure I had said it until Leah's face contorted with her rage.

"Fuck you, Bella. FUCK YOU. You know me better than that, you know everything I do is because I care, and here you are, throwing it in my face because you've been having _fun_. I can turn my happy ass around and go right home if you like. If I'm being honest, it's what I want to do because I don't know who this is. My best friend seems to have been swallowed by the big city and spat out like a ghost of the person she once was."

Fighting with Leah was never something I enjoyed, but this time her words hit home, cutting through the fog in my mind and stabbing my heart with a precision strike. I knew she was right, she'd been right all along, but I was arguing with her for some sick sort of justification for what I had been doing when I had struggled to even convince myself it was normal.

The words hung between us for seconds before my stomach rolled again and pushed me stumbling toward the bathroom with my hand over my mouth. My empty stomach heaved painfully as I lurched, tears rolling down my cheeks, hot and wet, and Leah came in behind me, pulling my hair out of my way.

Hysterics followed the bile out of my mouth. I was mumbling incoherently as the sobs blocked the apology I was so desperately trying to voice. I never wanted to hurt Leah like that, and I hadn't even meant what I'd said; it was all just pointless insults aimed to hit low and hard. I hated myself for it.

"Bella, calm down . . . Just stop already," she cooed, trying to calm me. She crouched down next to me as I pathetically fell to my ass and just cried. "I'm sorry, I know it's not the time for this. Why don't I run you a bath and grab you something to eat, then we can talk?"

I nodded as she tucked my hair behind my ear. I could see the worry behind her eyes as she gave me one last look before standing up and walking out of the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I gave up the moment she was gone and let my body fall to the floor slowly. The tile and I had become well acquainted in the last week; its cool, glossy veneer was almost familiar to my overheated cheek as I pressed it to the ground. Everything was still spinning even this close to the floor, and my thoughts didn't help much either. They were fuzzy and conflicting, changing words as I thought them.

I don't know how long she was gone, but laying there trying to keep everything out of my head made the time pass quickly. Before I knew it, she was helping me up from the floor and walking me into the bedroom. There was a sandwich, which she ordered me to eat before disappearing into the bathroom to run a bath for me.

I didn't realize how hungry I was until I had eaten the sandwich. My body was craving more as my stomach growled at the little relief the food seemed to offer. I managed to find my way back into the bathroom without help from Leah and found her sitting on the edge of the bath looking concerned.

"Hey," she jumped up the moment I entered and walked toward me. "You feel any better?"

"A bit," I sighed, avoiding her eyes. "I don't know what they gave me but my head's still swirling."

"What happened, Bells? You called me about Iz and Peter, then you disappeared off the face of the planet and I get a call from Emmett saying he was worried about you."

"Emmett called you?" I asked, horrified.

"Is that really important?"

It was. I had scared him enough to go to Leah for help. I wasn't even sure I could face him after all of this. I had been so rude and disrespectful to all of them over the course of the week. How could I expect them to just forgive me? Especially when they didn't really get a chance to know me before I fell into this trap.

"Get in the bath and we'll talk. You kinda smell and I think it will do you good to relax a little."

I nodded and started peeling off my clothes before climbing into the hot water and sinking into it with a sigh of pleasure. Leah was right, it seemed to ease the haze and relax my body completely. I leaned my head against the back of the porcelain tub, and closed my eyes.

When I opened them again, Leah was sitting on the floor beside the tub, her knees under her chin as her hazel eyes watched me closely. I knew what she was waiting for.

"Emmett and I decided it would be better if we talked to them; he thought that going to the parents is what they wanted. I didn't understand it until he finally opened up and told me everything . . ." I continued on, explaining everything that had happened over the course of the week, right up to this moment. It wasn't all that difficult, considering I didn't remember that much.

Leah hadn't been happy when I explained what happened this evening. I had told her about James' attempt to help with the virgin shots and the endless drinks that the others seemed to put in my hand every time he was absent.

"So what does he think they gave you?"

"I honestly forgot to ask. It was really weird, Lee. It wasn't like being drunk where I couldn't remember everything. It was like having a small amount of coherency without control over anything. I can remember most of it, there are patchy parts, but it scared me . . . it really, really scared me."

"And she said it was for your induction into the Cullen hall of shame?"

"Yeah, James seems to think she was the one who called the cops."

"I'm going to scratch the bitch's eyes out. All of this was her building your trust so she could break it. I told you you trust people too easily but you never listen. Always so damn eager to see the best in people. If James hadn't been there, you could have ended up in jail, Bella. Please say that you're done with this shit."

"Oh I already made that decision. I don't want anything to do with her or alcohol again."

"Then what was with the argument?"

"I don't know, but I am so, so sorry, Lee. If I ever talk to you like that again you have permission to slap the shit out of me."

Leah laughed and pushed up off the floor to grab a towel. "Duly noted, but if I'm being honest, I think I knew it wasn't really you saying all those things. I've known you too long to believe you could change in the span of a week."

"Now I'm predictable?" I smirked, accepting the towel and standing up to wrap it around myself. I was happy we were finally falling back into the natural ease of our friendship. The tension had slowly fallen away during our conversation. Leah was the only person in the world that worked with. We'd known one another too long to let stupid shit stand between us. We did what we always did. We talked it out.

"Doesn't really seem like a bad thing to me," she laughed. "I love Bella, not the version of her being used as a puppet by the evil twin."

"I love you back, Lee."

"Oh don't get mushy with me. It's almost three in the morning. I'm tired, cranky and fighting the urge to knock down that little bitch's door to give her a piece of my mind."

"Bed it is then," I laughed, appreciating the ability to walk in a straighter line than before.

I made my way into the closet and changed into comfortable PJ's before joining Leah in the huge bed. She turned off the light as I tried to get comfortable in the huge bed.

"Night, whore."

"Night bitch, love you."

"Love you back," she murmured, patting my head in the dark.

~oOo~

I woke up alone in the huge bed. My head was thumping painfully. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked over at the other side of the bed to make sure I hadn't imagined Leah having been here. Thankfully Leah wasn't known for making the bed when she got out of it and evidence of her presence made me feel better.

Last night had been the second worst night of my life. Second only to the loss of mamére. I hated myself for the things I'd said to Leah, and lying in bed alone was only serving to give me more time to think about what I'd said to the rest of my friends over the course of the week.

With a clear head, it made it all that much worse.

Even I knew how out of character it was for me to treat people that way, but I couldn't see it then, not when my judgment was impaired by alcohol and the false friendship my sister had offered me. I was so eager to believe her, so eager to have a relationship with my estranged sibling.

She was poison, just like everyone had told me time and time again. Unfortunately, I'd learned the hard way. I was so eager to believe that we could establish a sisterly relationship that I hadn't seen what it was doing to me in the process.

"Isabella Swan, get your lazy ass up and come down for breakfast." The phone beside me squawked, projecting Leah's voice into the room.

"Coming, your ladyship."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Hurry up before it gets cold."

"On my way."

I climbed out of bed slowly, my tender head making my movements lethargic. I took my time descending the floors, avoiding Izzy's door and going the long way to the kitchen so there would be no bumping into her. I wasn't in the mood to even look at her right now, let alone talk to her. I wasn't sure I had the restraint to keep my mouth shut this time.

I managed to make it to the kitchen without incident but stopped in the door as I watched Leah and Emmett interacting. Somehow, they'd managed to become good friends while I'd looked the other way. Watching Emmett laugh, I suddenly wondered why I'd been so eager to spend time with Izzy. My relationship with Emmett was easy; he was like the brother I would have asked for, if I'd thought to ask for one.

"There she is," Emmett said, his laughter dwindling down to a cautious smile.

"Hey," I offered, my heart jumping into my throat. I looked to Leah who nodded.

"I'm gonna go do something, be back to cook the eggs in five minutes."

Emmett couldn't help but laugh at her less than subtle exit. She slapped him as she passed and gave me a wink before dancing out of the room.

I stepped forward, running my fingers through the tangled tips of my hair. "Emmett, I . . . I'm so sorry for the way I've behaved. I don't know if Leah told you anything, but . . . I was an idiot. You've been my friend and brother since you met me, and I was so quick to just . . . I know I'm a bitch and I don't blame you if you never wanna talk to me again . . . I deserve it. I just want to say sorry."

Emmett's sudden raucous laughter caught me off guard and made me shrink back against the wall of the door. I hadn't expected it, and I was still a little disorientated after last nights mishap.

"You think I would give up on you that easily? Why do you think I called Leah, Bella? I know that wasn't you. Izzy has a way of sucking you in. Believe me, I went through it too."

"You did?"

"It wasn't drinking," Emmett laughed, patting the stool next to him. "We just cut class together. She had to convince me every time, but I did it, right up until we got caught."

"Why did she do that?" I asked as I made my way across the room and slid into the stool he'd offered me.

"Because I got along with Carlisle, he used to take me to football games at LSU when my dad was too busy. He also took me to a couple baseball games there too. I was her competition."

"So how did you find out that's what she was doing?"

"Angela," he chuckled. "She's always had a bit of a crush on me, I think. They were still friends at the time and Izzy confided in her."

"I should have known she had an ulterior motive," I sighed, putting my elbows on the counter and resting my head in my hands. "Last night was the last straw though."

"You told him?" Leah asked, stepping back into the kitchen.

"Told me what?"

I looked at Leah wide eyed and shook my head. Her teeth immediately terrorized her bottom lip as she danced toward the stovetop where there was a pan over the heat waiting for her to finish the breakfast she was cooking. I should have known it would be something fried after her skinny comment last night.

"Ladies?"

Leah gave me a pointed look which was supposed to be encouragement to tell Emmett what had happened last night, but I really didn't think I could go through the whole thing again, too much of it was hazy to get it accurate. I shook my head and nodded at her, effectively giving her the go ahead to tell him.

"They drugged her last night," Leah said with a sigh, stepping toward the counter where Emmett and I were sitting.

Emmett's fists clenched and released once before he took a huge breath. Leah and I exchanged glances as we waited for the questions.

"Are you sure?"

"A hundred percent," Leah answered before I could. "I've seen Bella drunk before, the moment I saw her I knew it wasn't that. She couldn't even string a sentence together, which she can't do drunk but it wasn't just slurred it was . . . backwards almost."

My eyes widened and I examined Leah's features. I hadn't thought it was that bad, it made sense in my head while I was talking to her.

"What?" Leah asked, her eyes on me.

"I didn't think . . . it sounded normal to me. I was more concerned with the swirling and spinning."

"So what happened?" Emmett asked, trying to decipher what we were talking about from the small bits and pieces that were in our conversation.

I retold the story once again, explaining what had happened last night and how James had been the one person to help me when the shit so very nearly hit the fan. Emmett was upset by the time I finished; he'd at some point turned in his seat and given me all his attention as Leah cooked and filled in some of the blanks that she'd managed to decipher last night because I had missed them.

"Are you alright?"

"I was a little shaken up, and I feel a little woozy, but other than that I think I'm fine."

Leah put our plates in front of us before grabbing hers and circling around the counter to sit next to me. I forced the eggs, and sausage down quickly as my stomach once again seemed to grumble in appreciation. I hated that I couldn't remember the last time I ate.

Emmett was silent next to me, pushing his food around the plate as he eyed me occasionally in his peripheral vision. I knew he was concerned again. After I'd hit my head last week, he'd been almost mentally taking inventory every time he saw me. It was even more obvious now I was sober.

"Spit it out, Em," I sighed. Hoping that once it was said I could try and fix what I'd broken.

He didn't get a chance to say anything though. Izzy blew into the room as though she didn't have a care in the world, her gray eyes taking mental note of me with a flicker of disappointment before hiding behind the usual walls she put up.

"You coming over to Mike's?" she asked me, ignoring the two people sitting on either side of me.

"You're joking right?" I answered before Leah could draw breath to retort.

"Why would I be joking, loser?" she laughed playfully, making my stomach clench. I couldn't believe she was being so blasé about it all. She made her way over to the pan and looked inside it curiously.

"Because I really don't feel like being inducted into the Cullen hall of shame."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said a little too stiffly, her back still to us.

"Of course you don't, Iz."

My insolent tone had her spinning on the spot, her eyes narrowed and full of accusations. She leaned across the counter as she stepped up to it, her heels giving her the extra height. I surprised her when I didn't back down and leaned forward over the counter to glare right back at her.

"This is your first and final warning, Elizabeth," I said too calmly under my breath, my eyes not moving from hers. "You ever pull shit like that again, and you and I will have a problem. You made a mistake thinking you could walk all over me because I have something you will never have."

"What's that? Gag reflex?"

"It's so obvious, but you're so cold and callous you can't even see it, can you?"

"Oh Jesus, cut to the fucking chase, Bella. What do you have that I never will?"

I sat back in the stool and gave her the most snide smile I owned. "I have friends that actually care, and whether you want to acknowledge that or not, it eats you alive. You have such superficial people surrounding you, you can't even see that they're giving you just enough rope to hang yourself with. I don't need you in my life, Izzy. I've never needed you. Whatever you choose to throw at me, I will always have them to back me up. Nothing you ever throw at me will have the ability to cut at me."

"God one little arrest and you freak the fuck out. Rough night in jail there? Did you honestly believe that we actually liked having you around? You're boring and dull. Do you really think this is such a loss for me? The best part about it is Daddy will see just what a fraud you are."

"Daddy will never know!" I said, tipping my head and speaking with the same arrogance.

"You think you can hide an arrest from him?"

Leah slid out of her seat; she seemed calm enough so I thought nothing of it—I was too focused on the bitch in front of me to look at her face. Izzy and I were staring one another down with such ferocity that not even she noticed Leah step up beside her.

"I wasn't arrested, dumbass," I seethed, a slight victorious smirk on my lips.

Izzy's eyes widened in shock, her head turning to look at Leah as her anger rose to the surface again. Her nostrils flared slightly with rage and she turned her whole body to Leah.

"What, did I offend you by hurting your girlfriend?"

Leah took a deep breath and smiled at Izzy.

This worried me.

I knew what came after this smile.

"Iz, don't," I warned.

"Don't what, bitch? Don't instigate with the white tras . . ."

Too late. Leah had cocked her fist the moment 'bitch' fell out of Izzy's mouth, she'd hesitate for just a nanosecond to let Izzy shove the last of the foot into her mouth before extending her arm and knocking Izzy flat on her ass with a thud on the tile.

Emmett laughed hard next to me, burying his head in his arms as my mouth fell open with shock. Leah simply looked satisfied, her long body bending over at the waist as she got in Izzy's face.

"Don't you ever call my best friend a bitch; I'm more of a sister to her than you will ever be, and if you even utter the words white trash in my direction again, I will drag your ass up to the bayou and feed you to the gators. You get me?"

Izzy held her jaw where Leah had punched her, her eyes wide and pooling with unshed tears. She looked to me where I stood, leaning over the counter to watch the exchange, and back to Leah again.

"You've so fucked up," she smirked, holding her jaw. "You will never step foot in this house again. I have a good mind to call the cops."

"And say what? You think you have friends here?"

Izzy's eyes moved from me to Emmett, who simply grinned. I hated that he'd just declared war with her by picking sides. He'd had an amicable relationship with her before; they were pleasant to one another. Now he was outright stating he was siding with me, and I could see the anger behind Izzy's stare.

"What about this?" she asked, moving her hands, showing the darkening area that had just met Leah's fist.

"Well you started it! It's not my fault you hit like a four year old."

Izzy pulled herself up from the ground and brushed off her skirt, her eyes traveling over the three of us. "You'll be sorry for this. All of you will."

She stomped out of the kitchen, her heels slamming on the tile as Emmett and Leah started laughing at her retreating form. If there hadn't been a war before, there was sure as hell one now, and I was on the front line. I could only imagine what Monday would bring with it.

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**A/N: I feel like singing ding dong the witch is dead, but she's not dead just knock on her ass by Leah. Much deserved I believe lol. It should have been Bella doing the punching, but she was still a little wobbly on her feet and Leah was closer ;)**

**I'm aware that not a whole hell of a lot happened in this chapter, but I needed Bella to clear the air with Leah and with Emmett. She felt terrible about everything and she knew how badly she'd screwed up.**

**Thank you to my beta, Annabanana, cuz she's awesome amazing and knocks my words into shape :)**

**A Huge cuddle to miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99, I love you girls you keep me sane and laughing! I have no clue what I would do without you!**

**Thank you also to everyone who reads and reviews. You guys are amazing. As always your words are so inspiring and I love hearing what you have to say and I always love questions . . . especially when I can't answer them lol ;) . . . I love all of you guys! Thank you so much for reading!**

**Much love and huge hugz ~ Weezy ~  
**


	17. Trouble

_**All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some tiny plot details are inspired by V.C. Andrews, and the rest . . . hello Strange mind of mine :) Happy Tuesday ;)**_

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**Trouble**

_I'm waiting for a friend to come, to help me off the ground_  
_Better come sooner than later, can't stop feeling down_  
_Scattered memories drifting back from my stereo_  
_Of how we dream this could be and how we let it go_  
**_If you're Thinking of Me - Dodgy_**

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Leah was an anchor for me. The weekend was so normal with her there. Even Emmett seemed to understand what I needed. Only once had he mentioned going out at all and retracted the offer before I'd even had a chance to process the question.

Instead, he went to the video store and picked out a bag full of DVDs to keep us occupied. There was candy and popcorn littering my room, as we seemed to hibernate in there for the duration of the weekend. The new couch gave the three of us plenty of room to stretch out and watch the huge TV, and I started feeling normal again by the time Sunday night rolled around.

Until I had to say goodbye to Leah.

As soon as her car was out of sight, I went straight back to my room and curled up in my bed alone. I was feeling sorry for myself and a little abashed about my behavior. If I could have taken this week off to hide, I knew I would have, but there was nothing wrong with me and having a pediatric surgeon for a father meant that I would be diagnosed and given the all-clear before even an hour had passed.

Carlisle had arrived home around noon on Sunday, and Tanya had arrived at six. I hadn't seen either one of them; I didn't want to. If I saw Carlisle, I was sure I would feel the need to come clean about my behavior because I felt I had betrayed him. With Tanya, I just didn't want to see her at all. Izzy was her little personality clone, and I didn't want to deal with that on top of everything else.

I just wanted to bathe in my own self-loathing a little while longer.

It seemed that wasn't allowed though, when there was a knock at my door about an hour after Leah had left. It wasn't Emmett—I knew his knock, and it rattled through the room like he was trying to break through it. He found it hilarious. This was a more subdued knock, loud enough to get my attention but not much more than that.

"Come in," I shouted. I couldn't be bothered to get out of the little cubbyhole I'd made in the middle of the bed with the pillows and comforter.

I heard the door open and close and footsteps on the wooden stairs as my visitor climbed them. Carlisle's gentle smile greeted me as he stepped into the darkening room. He made his way over to the bed and perched on the edge, one of his knees folded under him as he twisted his torso so he could see me.

"I heard you had a busy week?"

I wanted to pull the covers over my head and hide from the conversation that was so obviously coming. I was stupid to think I would get away with it. Izzy had promised that we'd be sorry, and I guessed this was all part of her master plan.

"Yes, sir," I answered, my voice barely above a whisper. I hated that I'd broken his trust the first time he'd been away from the house.

"I know this is all exciting and new for you, Bella, but Izzy told me you were drinking excessively while we were gone. I'm not sure what the rules were at your home with Marie, but I can't tolerate that kind of behavior."

Bitch. Any guilt I had about Leah putting her on her ass melted away as his words sank in. I had three choices here: be the bigger person and take the fall, incriminate Izzy and tell daddy dearest about the pretty little flask she kept on her person—as well as the bottles I knew were hidden in various places in her room, or lie. Deny everything and play it that way.

Decisions.

I never was good at making decisions under pressure, and the betrayal was still too fresh in my mind to take the fall for her. I never really did like lying either, so vindication it was.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle, I can't lie to you; I was drinking. I was drinking a lot, but I'm fine now. Leah and Emmett were worried and made me realize the mistake I was making. I'm just worried about Izzy; she doesn't have anyone like that. If she gets caught with that flask at school, she's going to get expelled, and well, I watched this documentary once that said people with drinking problems hide their alcohol. Izzy has it hidden all over her room. I was going to talk to you about it, maybe that's why she decided to tell you about me instead. Maybe she's asking for help."

The silence seemed to hang between us, thick and congealed, as he let the words sink in. I knew I should feel a little bad about outing Izzy, but I couldn't. She made too many assumptions about me and figured I would just lie rather than incriminate myself,; and she'd guessed wrong. I didn't like lying; I liked having a standard level of trust with the people I looked up to.

I had to hand it to her though, she played dirty, but she'd underestimated me.

"Bella, are you sure?"

"Where do you think I got the alcohol? I'm not a tattle-tale, I don't throw around hollow accusations," I said, looking him straight in the eyes. "I gain nothing from this because I am admitting to you that I was in the wrong, but I'm concerned. This week was terrible, I was ill much of the time and it scares me how fast I fell."

"Where is she getting the alcohol?"

"That I don't know," I lied. I wasn't going to get everyone else in the house in trouble by telling him about the fake IDs. Emmett really didn't drink that much, but he did enjoy gambling; I didn't want to be the one to take that away from him. "I'm sorry I broke your trust, Carlisle. It's just a little more freedom than I'm used to."

"Thank you for your honesty, Bella."

I nodded. It was all I could do to stop the guilt from searing me and start the back peddling. Maybe I was doing the right thing. Maybe Izzy did, in fact, have a problem with alcohol. I also hoped maybe my honesty would help me get more time with him. I still had so many questions for him, about everything. Even Emmett's comments about their marriage had me curious. If I was to talk to him about something would we lead into that conversation? I could never ask him outright, because he'd know someone talked to me about it.

"Try and get some sleep. We'll sort this mess out in the morning," he offered, looking unsure of how to discipline me.

"I'm sorry."

"I know," he smiled, pushing up off the bed. "I just hope you know you're able to come to me with problems like this. You don't have to burden yourself with things, we're a family."

I stifled the snort in my throat as I considered his disillusion of family. He hovered uncomfortably over my bed before turning around and walking out.

I felt horrible. Had I gone too far in outing Izzy to Carlisle? Sue had said time and time again, two wrongs don't make a right, yet it's exactly what I'd done. In a moment of anger, I'd done exactly the same thing Izzy had. I wasn't any better than her and her petty games. Too late now though, it was out there and there was no taking it back.

I tried to get comfortable as my conscience weighed heavily on my mind. I was dreading school tomorrow, because I had to face everyone I had been so quick to push away when Izzy had falsely befriended me. I owed each and every one of them an apology.

I finally fell asleep, after tossing and turning for hours, and woke up to my alarm, feeling even worse than I had before I'd fallen asleep. I went through my routine numbly, trudging downstairs, dreading seeing Izzy and the others I had been so desperate to avoid yesterday.

I ate quickly, having arrived in the kitchen later than normal. I avoided the eyes that watched me closely and followed Emmett out with my head down. He seemed to realize I wasn't in the mood for idle chat and left me alone with my thoughts as we drove to school.

Sadly, Jasper wasn't there. I was alone in most of my classes, and the only person I spoke to up until lunch was Angela, who I hadn't been rude to once, even with Izzy and me communicating across the classroom last week. Today, Izzy skipped and I was glad that I was able to just relax and talk to someone normally for a while.

By the time lunch rolled around though, I had worked myself into such a mess about facing them all, I acted like a coward and hid. Instead of going to the cafeteria, or the bleachers, I went to the swimming pool and sat on the bleachers there, appeasing my stomach that was angry with me for skipping lunch.

The serenity of the room made me feel better. The calm of the water and the sterile smell of the chlorine made conflicting emotions, but it was better than the alternative. I knew I would have to face them eventually; I just couldn't do it today.

I jumped when the doors to the pool opened and slammed closed. The footsteps echoed on the tile as whoever entered walked toward the changing rooms purposefully. I pulled my knees into my chest, burying my head in them in an attempt to make myself smaller so I wouldn't be seen, but it was too late. I knew it the moment I heard the steps on the stairs rather than continuing on to the changing rooms.

The footsteps stopped in front of me, followed by a sigh of frustration that had my head rising from its place on my knees. The face I saw wasn't one I wanted to see, it wasn't what I needed right now. I didn't want to fight with anyone else.

"You okay?" he asked, moving to sit next to me as he dropped his bag to the bench next to him.

"Been better," I answered, turning my head to the side and resting my cheek on my knees so I could see him.

He raised his eyebrows and ran his hand through his bronze hair, looking uncomfortable. This close, Edward was better looking than I'd remembered. I hadn't really focused on him much after the party that night, and I had somehow managed to look past his features and focus on his personality, which left a lot to be desired.

"Emmett said you were feeling stupid after last week."

He also lacked tact, which grated on my nerves.

We sat in silence for a while. My hands were holding my skirt in place so I could hold onto what little dignity I had left, while I watched him fiddling with the strap of his bag.

Should I start my apologies now? Would Edward be a good place to start? He was the most averse to having me around. Maybe his cocky response would make the rest easier to swallow when I got around to it.

"Edward," I said, watching him tense for a second and take a long exaggerated blink. "I'm sorry about what I said to you. I really didn't mean it. I know you don't particularly like me, but you didn't deserve to be spoken to like that."

He stared at the water silently, his hands no longer fiddling. I took in his profile while he sat contemplating my statement. It felt like eons before he finally turned his head to look at me, the emerald green of his eyes catching mine.

"I've been thinking about what you said to me last week," he said thoughtfully, shooting me a warning with his eyes when I opened my mouth to respond. I snapped my mouth shut and let him finish. "You were right about the contradiction. I haven't exactly been forthcoming when it comes to you, and me lecturing you about hurting the ones who care the most probably wasn't my best idea, but you're wrong. I do like you, Bella. I'm just going through something right now, and you were probably the closest target to take it out on."

This was new. When the fleeting thoughts of how he would react to my apology went through my mind while I was tossing and turning last night, I hadn't once thought this would come out of his mouth. I found myself rendered speechless.

"No one's upset at you, Bella. Not really. I can't even imagine what you must be going through after sixteen years of being an only child, then discovering you have a twin. We're all your friends, and considering the circumstances, I think you've been given a second chance without having to ask for it. Don't sit in here thinking they'll reject you, because they won't. Emmett cares a great deal about you as a sister, just trust him enough to be on your side when shit like this happens. He won't let you down."

Everything fell into place after he spoke. Emmett's loyalty and admiration for Edward, Rose's relationship with him, and Jasper's refusal to paint him as the bad guy. He was nothing I had imagined he was when I'd first met him. We just hadn't managed to get past that first impression to even have a conversation. I hated that I was so quick to judge him.

"Thank you, Edward," I whispered, offering him a faint smile as I raised my head from my knees.

The side of his mouth turned up, giving the appearance of a lopsided smile. His eyes released mine as he looked down at his watch.

"I hate to chat and run, but I have practice in ten minutes and I need to change. You gonna be okay?"

I smiled, pressing my lips together as I nodded. "I think I will. Thank you for talking to me, and I really am sorry about last week."

"No big deal, Izzy flips me the bird every chance she gets. It was a familiar sight," he laughed genuinely, standing up and towering over me. "I'm sure they're still in the cafeteria if you want to find them."

"Is Jasper there?" I asked, noting the slight darkening of his eyes as I said the name.

"No, he's cutting with a note. Such a rebel." Edward rolled his eyes and offered the same lopsided grin he'd given me before. He turned around and jogged down the bleachers, hopping onto the tile at the bottom before loping toward the changing rooms. He didn't look around again, but he waved over his head and shouted.

"They don't bite." Then he disappeared through the doors, leaving me alone with my thoughts and a new motivation. One day I would thank him properly.

I got up and made my way down the bleachers. Edward was right; these were the friends that had tried to help me, why would they have bothered if they were so willing to give up on me? Waiting to apologize was ridiculous; I had to do it now. I wanted to do it now, not to ease my conscience, but because they deserved it.

~oOo~

"See, that wasn't so bad was it?" Emmett asked as we got into the truck after school. His outlook was exponentially brighter than mine, but I wasn't going to deflate his balloon of hope.

Things _were_ better, apologizing to Rosalie and the others had gone so much better than I'd thought it would. All of them had accepted me back without question, even the ones I didn't speak to often, like Ben and Peter. In fact, I'd been in a good mood when I'd left the cafeteria with the distinct notion that things would work out.

Unfortunately, that was when I ran into Izzy and Jessica.

They weren't as forgiving, especially when I didn't offer them anything but my back as they came into my line of sight.

. . .

"Oh look, it's James' little fuck toy," Izzy sneered, speeding up her steps so she was right behind me. She leaned over my shoulder so her mouth was close to my ear. "He said you were a really sloppy lay, nothing to what I gave him."

There was the stomach roll that I didn't miss.

"You're such a slut, Izzy."

Izzy ignored my slight and turned to Jessica who was watching the exchange with a satisfied smirk on her lips. "See, I told you she wouldn't deny it. She's a common whore."

I spun around to face them. I didn't want to dignify what she was saying with a response, so I held my tongue as my fists clenched, the nails biting at the skin on the palms of my hand.

"Oh my God," Jessica laughed out, her short dark hair bouncing with the exaggerated movements of her shoulders. "You weren't lying, she's really not denying it. I should kick your goddamn ass. James and I had a thing before you came along. Then you get all up in my business, now I wouldn't touch him. I have no idea what you carry."

The girl was an idiot. I guessed her and Izzy weren't that close after all, she obviously had no idea what Izzy had just whispered in my ear to make me react.

"Told you," Izzy said, satisfied. "She's just common . . ."

She dropped off as I did something stupid. I prodded the aubergine bruise on her face with satisfaction. "Does that still hurt? I can give you a matching one if you like. Just say the words, Iz. Finish that sentence."

I was daring her to say exactly what she'd said in front of Leah. Leah had a shorter temper than I did, but I was closing in on the precipice fast, I just needed one last push.

"Aww, but you don't have your skanky little friend to back you up," she laughed, shimmying back surreptitiously. She wasn't as dumb as she pretended to be.

My fists tensed and released as I tried to fight the urge to let loose and hit her. I was precariously balanced as it was; I really didn't need her to test my patience any more today, but I highly doubted she would let me walk away.

"Bella," Angela's voice reached me before she did, but her tiny frame stepped between Izzy and me, immediately pulling me from the stare down that had commenced. Angela looped her arm through mine. "Can I borrow you for a sec? I have a question."

Angela guided me through the small circle of people that had gathered around the argument we'd been having. I hadn't even been aware of the audience; I was so focused on restraining myself that I'd gone into tunnel vision.

"Sorry, I didn't want you getting caught. She's not worth getting expelled over."

God love her. Angela had just stopped me from doing something stupid and given me a dignified escape at the same time. There were no words for my gratitude, so I flung my arms around her shoulders and gave her a hug.

"Thanks, Ange."

"It's okay, I just saw Mr. Birdie heading in the direction. Otherwise I'd have liked to see her put in her place."

"Angela Webber," I laughed, stepping back and looping my arm through hers again. "I never thought I'd hear those words coming out of your mouth."

"What can I say? She's a vapid little bitch who likes to press buttons."

"And you cuss too," I laughed, bumping my hip into hers. "There's hope for you yet."

Angela laughed timidly and guided us toward our next class, where I slipped into the seat next to the empty one Rosalie would soon occupy.

. . .

When we got home, it proved my theory was a little more literal than Emmett's. I'd gone upstairs to change before eating. Izzy was standing out on the landing, her arms crossed and her eyes rimmed in red, as she stared into her room. The moment she heard my footfalls, she spun on her heel and glared at me, her lips a thin white line of anger.

"You did this," she seethed, her voice cracking with the combination of venom and tears.

"I did what, exactly?"

"You told dad, and now they're searching my room."

"I was worried about you, Izzy. I know we don't get along, but it doesn't mean I want to see you hurt yourself." I tried to sound as honest as I possibly could. I wasn't going to have another screaming match with her, because that's exactly what she wanted.

"Worried my ass," she spat, spinning around as the sound of a bottle hitting another sounded from her room. "You did this to hurt me. You were drinking too . . ." she spun around and looked into the room again. "She was drinking last week too, but you're not searching her room."

Carlisle stepped out into the hall and looked between us.

"They can search my room," I offered. "I have nothing to hide. I already admitted drinking last week."

"Oh and suddenly you're reformed? Give me a break."

Carlisle opened his mouth to say something but I was quicker.

"I never said I was reformed, Izzy, but I do learn from my mistakes." It was a double entendre and she knew it. I had learned from my mistakes, both of them. The most valuable was to not trust her as far as I could throw her.

"Do you honestly think you're fooling anyone with the little miss perfect act you've got going on?"

"I'm not perfect; I never eluded to the fact that I was."

"Girls, that's enough, both of you. I know this is an unusual situation, but both of you broke the rules. You're both grounded until further notice."

Izzy spun on her heel to face Carlisle, her hands gripping her waist. "It's _MY_ birthday party in a week. You can't just ground me beforehand."

I frowned. This was the first I'd heard of any party, and it was three days after our actual birthday anyway. Seventeen wasn't a particularly special year.

"I believe I just did, Elizabeth. Now go to your room and stay there while I check Isabella's. You would also do well to remember it's not just _your _birthday. If you wish to act like a petulant child, I'll cancel the party altogether."

"I hate you right now."

"When don't you, Elizabeth?"

She growled and stamped her foot, marching into her room, throwing me one last look before slamming the door closed. Carlisle sighed and opened the door again, ignoring Izzy's demands that he "Get out." He reappeared with a bag, clanking with bottles, and eyed me apologetically.

"Bella, I'm sorry to do this."

"No need to apologize, it's only fair."

He made his way to my room and hesitated at the door. I could only imagine how strange it must feel for him to have to do this. We hardly knew one another, and now he was going through my room, looking for alcohol hidden in there.

It was the first parental thing he'd ever had to do with me.

He sighed and walked in, climbing the stairs while I slid down the wall next to the door, giving him his space.

"What are you doing?" Emmett asked as he came up the stairs with his usual after school sandwich.

"Carlisle's checking my room." I grinned, my eyes darting to Izzy's room and back to Emmett. His eyes lit up in the nano second it took him to figure it out.

"Did he get the wet bar from her room?"

I nodded and pointed at the door where Carlisle had dropped the bag full of bottles just inside. Emmett made his way over, his eye widening as the bag came into view. I don't even think he'd realized how much alcohol was stashed in her room.

"How does she have a liver left?"

"You got me. Mine is still hurting and that was only a week."

Emmett chuckled and shook his head. "What's the damage?"

"Grounded until further notice," I laughed, I'd never been grounded in my life. The threat had always been enough to keep Leah and me in line. This was definitely a new experience for me.

Emmett rolled his eyes and started walking toward his room. "You'll be out with me this weekend."

I crossed my legs under me and waited patiently as Carlisle searched my room above me. It had only been about twenty minutes when he finally called me upstairs. I pushed up off the wall and grabbed my bag, stepping over the big trash bag full of liquor, before heading up the stairs.

"You were right; I found nothing. Even so, I am grounding you until Thursday because you still broke the rules."

"That's fair."

"I can't say I'm not disappointed in your behavior, but I appreciate your honesty with me. I called Sue today to ask her whether you've ever been in trouble like this before, and she assured me that this was the first time. She also told me to send you to her if you pulled something like this again."

I smiled. Sue would tear me a new one if that ever happened, but I was also confident I wouldn't do anything this stupid again. "Believe me, that's enough to send me to the nunnery."

Carlisle chuckled. "You seem like a good kid, Bella. I'm excited to get to know you better, Elizabeth is . . ."

I put up my hand to stop him as I leaned against the railing at the top of the stairs. "Don't make excuses for her. I'm aware of her history, I've tried to build a friendship, but all it got me was this. So I appreciate what you're trying to do, but it's not necessary."

"Bella, she's your sister," Carlisle said with sad eyes.

I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't think I would ever be able to think of Izzy as my sister. She was cold and calculating. She struck low and hard and didn't care what happened in the fall out; as long as she came out on top, she was happy. How do you relate to somebody like that? You can't, unless you have the similar frame of mind. Even then, this afternoon showed me exactly how a friendship like that worked.

"It'll all work out somehow," Carlisle said, his eyes distant as though he were picturing it in his head. I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth.

"It normally does."

"Okay, I'll leave you to it. I'm sorry about the intrusion, but it was necessary."

I nodded and pushed off the railing, stepping toward my bed, passing Carlisle on his way out. He rested his hand on my shoulder as he passed, stopping me in my tracks.

"I really am glad you came to stay."

I nodded and stayed still as he walked past me and out of my room. Now it was a countdown until I got a call from either Sue or Leah. I was sure Leah would be the first, and I knew what she was going to say. She was going to tell me that Carlisle had called Sue.

I wasn't wrong; Leah called not even an hour after the search, warning me that her mom would be calling soon and that she wasn't happy. I was prepared for that though. I had known it was coming. I also deserved the tongue-lashing she gave me when she finally did call.

She was disappointed in me, which I got, but she was also hurt that I hadn't come to her when it became too much for me. We talked for hours as I explained as much as I could remember of what happened the previous week. When she hung up, she made me swear to call her if I found myself in a similar situation.

I promised, but there was no need. I'd learned my lesson the hard way, and I wouldn't be making the same mistake again. Even with all the mistakes I'd made, one thing had become abundantly clear to me through the mess: I had friends and they cared. They weren't fake or superficial like Jessica. They cared about me. I'd always thought I was lucky to have Leah and Jacob, but now that I had Emmett and his friends, I couldn't ask for more than that.

Tuesday, things were pretty much back to normal. Jasper had come back and wouldn't even let me apologize for the way I'd treated him. He, like the others, just seemed to move on and embrace me the same way that they had that first week of school. I spent a lot of time with Jasper again, and even though Edward and I had a better understanding of one another, we still didn't talk much because he was barely with us anymore. Not now that swim practice had started up again.

Jasper and I continued to flirt playfully with one another. I even found myself kissing him between classes when we found ourselves alone. It was unspoken between us; we weren't a couple. It was almost a mutual and silent decision between us, but we enjoyed the others' company and the kissing definitely wasn't a downside.

Being grounded wasn't as bad as Carlisle made it out to be. I divided my time between Emmett and Carlisle. He had so many stories to tell, all of them so vibrant and detailed, I was sure, had he not been a surgeon, he would have made an amazing writer.

The more time I spent with him, the more he started to feel like a father rather than a stranger.

There was only one more altercation with Izzy and Jessica. Izzy surprised me though; she held back and watched as Jessica tried to intimidate me. They'd cornered me in the girls' bathroom, throwing around the same insults they had been using all week.

I found myself oddly calm, even face to face with Jessica as she threw out insults. I think I even smiled at one point. I was waiting for her to make a move, to start something so I could finish it with a clean conscience. Before she could make a move though, Rosalie was standing behind me, her voice low and dangerous as she threatened both Izzy and Jessica on my behalf.

They hadn't confronted me since.

Thursday night was the last night of my grounding and Emmett was already making big plans for Friday night, seeing as Leah had decided to come down with Jacob. This was the first time Jacob would be here, and I was excited for him to see where I was living now. Leah had been teasing him every time she called me, talking about things he'd never seen and people he'd never met. So he'd finally managed to get the weekend off work so he could join us.

I was confident the first weekend after my misgivings would prove to Carlisle that he wasn't wrong to trust me.

* * *

**A/N: There was an actual conversation between Bella and Edward! Who knew he could be civil? I think he was the one she needed to hear that from because they weren't close friends, and yet he was willing to make exceptions.**

**I think that Carlisle taking a little more assertion in parenting was needed too. These kids have entirely too much freedom and continuously weave wicked little webs around themselves. Unfortunately, he's still got a lot to learn!**

**Thanks to Annabanana, my beta, who makes the chapters look like a bag of skittles every week. She's awesome like that!**

**Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99, you ladies are awesome and you keep me sane, I love you ladies :)**

**Thanks to all of you who read and review. You all make me smile with your comments and questions and I'm always so excited to see what each of you have to say every week. You're all so amazing and I wish there was a way to really thank you for your encouragement and kind words. I love you guys!**

**P.S. I wrote an entry for the Me and Mr. McCarty Contest call Beautifully Random. There's some amazing entries over there, and voting is up on the blog meandmrmccarty. blogspot. com  
**

**Much love and huge hugz ~weezy~  
**


	18. Second Chance

**_All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer :) Some plot points belong to V.C. Andrews (Very Very Few!) The rest my mind came up with. Fun little funky town ain't it! ;)_**

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**Second Chance**

_And this is where I like to stand_  
_And watch this world in amazement_  
_Stir humanity_  
_With the visions of dignity_  
_To see what will conspire_  
_**On The Surface - Civil Twilight**_

_**

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**_

"Bella," Jacob crowed as he unfolded his large frame from Leah's car with little effort. I'd stood, leaning against the garage, waiting for them to show up since Jacob had texted me from Leah's phone saying he could see me.

Goober.

Apparently they had only just entered the Garden District, so I was waiting for ten minutes because Jacob kept having Leah divert from her path to see things. He was like a magpie, anything shiny and off he went. The shiny being the cars parked in the driveways of course. This was a veritable wonderland for him.

"Hey Jake!" I grinned, launching myself at him. His huge arms caught me easily and swung me around in a huge circle before dropping me to my feet.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too," I laughed, pulling him in for a tight hug before stepping away and squeezing Leah tightly. I knew I should have been home to visit them by now, and I felt guilty about not being back in three weeks, even though Leah had been here all but one.

"You gonna show me this house of yours, or do I have to use my imagination?" Jacob teased as I released Leah from my arms.

"Use your imagination," I laughed playfully, walking ahead of them and leading the way toward the back door. I was hoping that no one would be around. I knew Carlisle and Tanya were here, Izzy had to be here because she was grounded. Emmett was in his room, and who knew where Peter was. I really didn't see him that often. He just seemed to pop up on occasion, his appearance giving me the same obtuse sense of creepiness as he passed through with his smirk.

Jacob and Leah followed me, the two of them hand in hand as we made our way through the courtyard and in through the back door. I could hear Jacob's mumbled amazement at the back yard alone, not to mention the garage he'd just been dragged past.

We started the tour in the kitchen before making our way through the ground floor. I whispered to them both what each of the knick-knacks were worth. Well the ones I'd questioned Emmett about anyway.

Thankfully we didn't run into anyone other than Carlisle, who was in his study in the library. He welcomed Leah back with open arms and shook Jacob's hand warmly as he explained how much he'd heard about him already. Our week of bonding had been spent talking about the people I grew up with, so it definitely wasn't a lie. I excused us as we continued through the bottom floor and toward the stairs at the front of the house.

Leah waved the two of us on when she made a pit-stop in the bathroom downstairs. She'd seen it all before so I continued up the stairs with Jacob behind me, pointing out the rooms of each family member before reaching the second floor landing.

Unfortunately, the clear path couldn't last forever, and Jacob's loud booming laughter seemed to attract unwanted attention, alerting Izzy to someone new being in the house. I almost cringed as her door opened, my eye roll alerting Jacob to the new presence. He followed my gaze to the door that was opposite my bedroom, his eyes widening with the shock of the familiarity.

"Jacob, this is Izzy. Izzy, Jacob."

I could almost hear the cogs in his mind working as he drank in the similarities between us. It still caught me unaware at times, so I knew it must have been shocking the first time around. Unfortunately she wasn't as tactful as Jacob was.

Her eyes rolled over his body seductively as she stepped out into the hall and toward us. She was wearing the shortest shorts I'd ever seen in my life paired with a tight tank top that really didn't leave much to the imagination.

I hated that she was like this; even now she was playing her games, trying to get back at me. She just didn't realize who Jacob was or the relationship I had with him. I guess it really showed how much she'd listened to me when we actually attempted to have a relationship, otherwise she would have recognized the name. Had it not been so disturbing, I would have laughed at her.

"Poor guy, you met the boring twin first," she drawled, her voice dripping like hot wax. I wanted to gag, but it was easier to let her hang herself than point out the obvious.

"Excuse me?" Jacob laughed, his arm falling easily around my shoulders. It was obvious he was playing her game; there was no doubt in my mind that Leah had told him exactly how malicious she was. "I don't believe I would call Bella boring."

"You're right," she sighed, leaning against her doorframe. "Maybe frigid is a better word."

"My God, does your hair bleach seep into your brain, Elizabeth?" Leah asked as she danced up the stairs behind us. "I mean really? You continually contradict yourself, then you try and flirt with my boyfriend, you must be missing the dull ache of that bruise."

"Fuck you, bitch. What, you think because you caught me off guard once you can do it again?"

"You weren't lying about her being volatile were you?" Jacob laughed, throwing his free arm around Leah's shoulder as she stepped forward, effectively stopping her from knocking Izzy on her ass again.

"Just ignore her, Lee. She's not worth it," I sighed, stepping out from under Jacob's arm and heading toward my door so we could avoid another confrontation. I was sure Izzy would use it to her advantage this time.

"Is poor little Bella scared she'll get in trouble?"

"No, you're just not worth the time and effort. You keep throwing around these insults, but there's never anything new. You just use the same things over and over because you were caught out. Did you honestly think I was going to lie down and take your shit? You continually misjudge me, but you're too vindictive and cold to see it. So, scared I'll get in trouble? Not at all; wasting my time talking to a heartless whore? Yes."

"Fuck you," Izzy screeched, her voice climbing octaves.

Jacob steered Leah in my direction without another word as Izzy glared from her perch against the doorframe. Her attitude was making it hard to live under the same roof but we generally avoided one another at all costs.  
This was the first time anyone had been here after the big raid last week, so I knew she would try something. It was just unfortunate for her that I'd known Jacob and Leah since birth.

I opened my door and let both of my friends in first, turning to give Izzy one last look before I closed the door behind me, thankful I had a lock on my door to stop whatever vindictiveness Izzy might want to take out on my possessions while I was gone.

"Holy shit, that was weird," Jacob chortled, moving up the stairs as he pinched Leah's waist with this index finger and thumb. "Maybe we should have brought Seth. He seems to like a challenge."

"Oh hell no. My brother may be a royal pain in the ass, but he doesn't deserve to be shredded by the catty bitch."

"I don't think she would say no," Jacob said.

"That's even worse."

"Not to him it wouldn't be, I'm sure . . . Holy crap, look at the size of this place."

"I'm so glad you didn't finish that sentence, babe," Leah sang, grabbing his hand and guiding him further into the room as I reached the top of the stairs.

I stood off to the side and watched as Leah gave him the tour of my room and bathroom. We had some time to kill before we were heading out with Emmett, so all three of us ended up sprawled out on my bed just catching up. I'd missed this, this camaraderie we had between us. Sure, I was often the third wheel, but neither of them ever made me feel that way. It was always the three of us together at home. Well, except when they were off screwing like rabbits. That really wasn't something I wanted to see or hear so I gave them a wide berth.

"So this guy had you pinned up in a janitorial closet?" Jacob asked, his eyebrows rose with anger rather than his usual jovial manner.

"Yeah, but the door flies open just as things get really bad, and there's Jasper looking like he's out for blood. He pulls me out from between the wall and Mike and pushes me at Rosalie and Angela, then he smacked the bastard," I said, swinging my fist as I tried to remember the terrifying moments that had passed between entering the closet and being pulled out by Jasper.

"I would have killed him."

"I know you would have, but, Jacob, really Jasper is a great guy and he's been such a good friend to me. I really think you'll like him."

"Yeah, 'cuz Bella does," Leah said on the other side of Jacob, rolling so her arms were crossed on his chest and she was looking up at him.

"Shut up, Lee." I sighed playfully, sticking out my tongue. "That was your . . ."

"Are you guys ready?" Emmett called from the bottom of the stairs, interrupting my accusation.

"Yeah, is Jasper here?" I called back, rolling off the bed and heading to the closet to get my shoes. Leah giggled at my question behind me, making my eyes roll for the umpteenth time this evening.

"No, he's meeting us at the restaurant. Now c'mon before we're late."

"Sir, yes sir," Leah barked from the bed, trying to sit up as Jacob continued to pull her back down.

I grabbed everything I needed and headed toward the stairs as Leah clambered on Jacob's back so he could carry her—she may have been more gravitationally stable than I was, but she still hadn't mastered heels and stairs yet.

We all piled into the truck and let Emmett point out things on our way. He even managed to show us things he hadn't yet shown me. There was so much to see in this city, I had a feeling it would take me forever to learn all of it's history and points of interest.

We were sitting at the table for a while before Jasper finally showed up and slid into the seat next to me.

"Sorry I'm late. You must be Jacob," he said, extending his hand across me to shake Jacob's hand. "Bella's told us a lot about you. I've been looking forward to meeting you."

"Good to meet you," Jacob offered with a smile. "Leah and Bella talk about you a lot too."

"That can't be a good thing," Jasper smirked, his arm moving to rest at the back of my seat.

"It's never a good thing when these two get to talking," Jacob snorted, choking as Leah reacted under the table.

"You were saying, baby?"

"I like the blood circulating to my leg?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow then scowling obviously as she continued.

Jasper and Emmett were laughing at the interaction, but all of my concentration was on my back, where Jasper's fingers were drawing on the bare skin there, sending tiny shivers down my spine. His hand didn't move from its spot there, his warm fingers gently painting intricate designs, fingering the strands of hair that got in his way. He didn't stop until our food arrived.

"Ok guys, I have a question for you," Emmett said, looking at Jacob and Leah, his eyes darting briefly to me. "I know it's Bella's birthday next week and Izzy's planned some stuffy birthday party for that weekend, but I've arranged a little something for her tomorrow, and I was hoping you guys could come with."

"Emmett," I said quietly, trying not to smile.

"Nope you don't get a say in this. You're going whether it's by your own volition or kicking and screaming over my shoulder."

"That, I would like to see," Jacob laughed, his elbow nudging my arm.

"Where are we going?" Leah asked, grinning and raising her eyebrows at me in a challenge.

"It's the first LSU game, and I've got some people together to go tailgating. Edward and Peter won't be there because they're going to the Saints game, but Rosalie will be there. So will Jasper."

"Are you serious?" Jacob asked, his smile growing.

"Yeah, they're playing the Bears."

"Count us in." Leah grinned, leaning into Jacob's chest, her head turning so she could wink at me.

"Excellent. Bella, Rosalie's taking you shopping for a shirt tomorrow, no arguments," Emmett chuckled, taking a mouthful of his food.

I looked between him and Jasper and raised my eyebrows. How long had they been planning this? Was it before all of the bullshit I'd put them through?

It didn't really surprise me that Edward wouldn't be there. Since our small talk on Monday, he seemed to be hanging around less and less. In fact, I'd only seen him briefly all week, and even then, he wasn't in his normal seat—he was sitting at the opposite end of the table.

Still, I couldn't find it in me to be upset about it all. I knew it would be fun, and inviting Leah and Jacob made it even more exciting.

"Does this mean she can't complain about presents?"

"What? No Jake, no presents. You know the rules," I said, nudging him in the back, making him rock forward and dislodge Leah from his chest.

"Too late," Jasper commented beside me. "It's not her decision guys, so feel free to do what you wish."

"What? No," I protested, turning in my seat so I was face to face with Jasper.

"I said too late," he grinned, his finger touching the tip of my nose before he looked past me to the rest of the table. "We're making this her day to celebrate, because Iz will claim next weekend and the day of will be family only."

"Excellent," Leah said from behind me, and I spun in my seat once again to glare at her.

"You wouldn't." It wasn't a question, it was an accusation.

"I love you."

"Lee," I whined.

Jasper laughed from behind me and wrapped his arms around my upper body, trapping my arms against my sides as he pulled me back against his chest. "Concede."

"Never," I giggled, giving the puppy dog eyes to my best friends that could see me.

"Who the hell doesn't like presents?" Emmett asked almost in shock, but the answer was obvious when Jacob and Leah both pointed at me.

"Traitors," I sniffed playfully, laying my head against Jasper's chest so I could look up at him too.

"It's only because we all love you," Emmett answered with a bigger smile. "But just to warn you, fighting against us only makes us want to defy you even further. I may have to go shopping again tomorrow."

"Don't you dare."

The whole table laughed at me, which only served to have me rolling my eyes at them. I don't know why I was so against receiving gifts. Leah had always given me a hard time about it, so she'd given me my gifts on my birthday in secret so no one else knew about it.

Mamére and Sue simply ignored me and gave me presents. They would tell me to stop pouting, give me a kiss on the forehead, then leave me alone for the rest of the day. Then there were Jacob and Seth who simply ignored me and left something at my door with little notes of defiance on top. It seemed I wouldn't be so lucky with my newer family and friends.

Jasper released me and helped me sit up from where I had fallen against his chest. His hands lingering on my back as I turned to stick my tongue out at him. He just grinned and raised his eyebrows at me in a challenge. After making out with him all week and learning to appreciate the chances we were able to sneak away, I found myself trying to fight the urge to kiss him in the middle of this restaurant, but I refrained.

We continued to eat and talk. Emmett went into some of the more colorful games they'd gone to in the past. He and Jasper had so many stories about Peter and why he was always so pissed off. Jacob had yet to meet him, but by the time the two of them had finished speaking, I really don't think he had a desire to.

Jacob and Leah decided they would check into their hotel for the night, seeing as we would be up early in the morning to leave. Emmett had extended them an invitation to stay at the house, but I'd caught his eye, shaking my head because I knew exactly why they had decided to stay at a hotel. It wasn't often they had the opportunity to be alone, all night, away from the eyes of Sue, Seth, Billy and Jacob's sisters.

Being the ever-hospitable person he was, Emmett refused to let them stay in the hotel they'd picked out and checked them into an upscale hotel close to home, putting it on his credit card. All the while deflecting their polite refusals, giving them the excuse that it would be easier to pick them up in the morning.

They took off with Emmett in the truck after dinner, leaving me alone with Jasper. It'd taken a while to pry Jacob from Jasper's car, but after a whispered threat from Leah, he'd withdrawn and climbed into the truck, looking torn.

"See you tomorrow morning, whore," Leah called out of the back window with a grin.

"Love you, bitch."

"Love you back, don't do anything I _would_ do."

I rolled my eyes and gave them a wave as the truck took off. I turned to Jasper, who was leaning against his car with a bemused smile, and made my way over to him, giggling as he pulled me to him and flipped us so I was flat against the car and he was leaning against me.

"I have wanted to do this for hours," he whispered, his lips pressing against mine hungrily, one of his hands pressed against the car, the other cupping my head and tilting my face to give him easier access. My hands gripped the shirt at his hips as our tongues danced together, making my chest heave with the effort.

Kissing Jasper always gave me a hunger I'd never felt before. It was never sated and never died down, even when our limbs were tangled together and the pushing and pulling became heated. It wasn't until there was a cough from somewhere around us that we pulled apart and gasped for breath, our eyes scanning the full lot.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, his lips brushing against my temple, his hands rubbing up and down my arms. "I couldn't help myself."

"You see me complaining?"

"No," he laughed, dipping so his lips brushed against mine again. "But what do you want to do on your first night of freedom?"

"Make out with you."

"You want to come to my house?"

"Sure," I answered, but buried my face in his chest to hide the blush that crept to my cheeks. I hoped he wasn't expecting it to go any further.

"I think we probably need to talk too," he mumbled into my hair, the disdain making me laugh.

"You sound so excited about the prospect."

"It's not that, it's just something Rosalie mentioned the other day."

My interest was piqued. "How about we talk while you drive?"

"Sounds good to me," he said, the smile in his voice evident. He stepped back from me, releasing my body from the cage made up by his. He gripped my hand, walked me around to the other side and opened the door for me, his hand not letting go as I climbed in.

He seemed to think carefully before placing his lips on my palm and releasing his hold on it before pushing the door closed and making his way to the other side of the car. My mind was working overtime as what needed to be discussed flooded my mind. I thought I knew what it might be about, and I was hoping that we were both on the same page, but only time would tell.

He got in without a word, and started the car, turning the radio down so it was even less than background noise.

"You okay?" I asked, swallowing nervously as he backed out of the space.

"I'm fine," he sighed, putting the car in gear and taking off slowly. "I just think that we need to discuss what we are."

My heart suddenly weighed twice my body weight as I waited for him to continue. I knew what I wanted, but what did he want? What was he trying to say?

"Bella, I like you—a lot, in fact—but I'm not really looking for a relationship. I mean, I am but . . ."

"Jazz," I whispered, interrupting him.

He looked over at me briefly and frowned when he saw the smile I was wearing. "What?"

"I think I know what you're trying to say."

"Oh really?" he laughed. "How about helping me out then?"

"It's probably exactly what I'm feeling. I like you a lot too, in fact, I really like kissing you too, but I really only think of you as a friend." I looked away, nervous that I had said the wrong thing. My hands were balling in my lap awkwardly as I waited for a response.

"Are you serious?"

My heart sank; I'd thought that was what he was trying to tell me. I thought that he just wanted to be friends that had a little bit of fun occasionally. Had I been wrong? I looked up at him and found myself surprised that he was smiling.

"How did I luck out like this?" he laughed, picking up my hand and dropping another kiss on the palm. "Bella, I really didn't want to hurt you, but Rosalie was afraid that you looked at this as something different. I figured you two had talked or something. You're beautiful and fun and I would be lucky to date you but . . ."

"There's no fire."

"Exactly, it's more like an indulgence. Do you know what I mean?"

"I do," I laughed. "I love talking to you, laughing with you, and you're a good kisser—but right now I can't get past the friend thing to actually see you as anything else."

"So we're friends, but we can still make out?"

"Yes," I laughed. "Why not enjoy this while we don't have anyone else in our lives."

"I think I am sort of loving you in a platonic sense right now."

"You're so sweet," I laughed sarcastically.

"I mean it, you're an awesome chick, and I can be myself with you no strings."

"Back at ya," I laughed, relaxing into my seat now that the awkward was out of the way. Now that the anxiety of the conversation was out of the way, I wondered why Rosalie would think I had considered this anything other than friendship. I hadn't said a word about it, not even to Leah, even though I was sure she knew about it. Leah could read me like a book, and quite frankly, all she'd have to do is ask and I would tell her the truth.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Jasper asked, shaking my hand gently.

"Just curious as to why Rosalie would think that I was under the impression this was more."

"She probably mistook your admiration for the early stages of love."

I giggled and slapped him. "I'm serious."

"I dunno, maybe she was just worried and figured we needed to talk about it rather than just keep going the way we were. It made sense when she said it. The last person I want to hurt is you. You're one of my closest friends."

"You're probably right. I just . . . I dunno, she's been acting really distant lately."

"She does that. When her and Edward fight a lot, she withdraws a little. Don't take it personally."

"They fight?" I asked, looking over at him for confirmation. From what I'd seen, they appeared to be perfectly happy.

"Yeah but they get over it." I could see the doubt in his face as he spoke the lie. There was something he wasn't saying, but I knew there had to be a reason for it, and it really wasn't my place to ask.

Then Jasper went and distracted me again, his fingers tickling up and down my arm, making my need to kiss him rise again. I was almost counting down the houses by the time we got there, his fingers moving against my skin in a precise motion.

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**A/N: There's really not much of a note today I apologize, work is insane right now and way to much to be able to break away and post so this is a little huried. I may also be doing some overtime for the next couple days so I apologize if you don't get a reply immediately, but you will get one as always! I swear it :) **

**Thanks as always to my amazing beta, Annabanana, who I put through Hell with this chapter. Lets just say they laughed . . . a lot!**

**As always a huge I love you to miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and hev99 for keeping me sane and being some of the most awesome chicks a girl could ever call friend!**

**And thank you also to every one of you who take your time to tell me what you're think and asking every question you ask. You're all phenomenal and I think I have the best readers on ffn ever! I ain't lying either! I love all of you guys!**

**Much love and huge hugz ~Weezy~**


	19. Lions And Tigers And Bears, Oh My!

**_All things Twilight belong to the Amazing Stephenie Meyer. Some of the plot (less than I originally thought) can be attributed to V.C. Andrews, and the rest . . . *knocks on noggin* yup! Came from up here! ;) Happy Tuesday!_**

**_

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_Lions And Tigers And Bears, Oh My!**

_And underneath the arch_  
_It turned into a march_  
_And there he found the spark to_  
_Set this fucker off_  
**_Set It Off - Audioslave_**

**_

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_**The early morning wake up call hadn't been the one I was expecting. I had got in too late to even hear my alarm bellowing like a siren as it tried to stir me from the deep restful sleep I'd fallen into. I'd been home before the curfew Carlisle had given us, but it was still only allowing me five hours sleep.

The blonde hair swung into my face as the grinning face of Rosalie met my fluttering eyes.

"Hmm, I should be insulted that you're late, but something tells me I should be blaming one Jasper Whitlock."

I laughed but pulled the free pillow over my face, hoping that my burning cheeks wouldn't give me away.

"A pillow to the face?" she laughed, peeling it back so she could see me. "What exactly did you and Mr. Whitlock do last night?"

I figured it was probably best to let her know what had happened so she wouldn't feel so inclined to worry about me. I appreciated that in order to be concerned she had to care, and I was happy that she cared. I just wanted to ease her mind so she'd know that I knew what I was doing.

"We talked," I grinned.

"Did that bastard implicate me in said talk?" she asked, smiling. I noticed that it wasn't reaching her eyes as it normally did. Had it been that way before?

"No, nothing bad. In fact, I think I have you to thank for helping us get out what we were both trying to say without saying anything."

We both paused and looked at one another before shaking off the backward statement with smiles.

"Okay, you wanna explain that?"

"Well he'd mentioned you were concerned about how I perceived what we were doing."

She raised her eyebrows at me.

"Oh God, not like that. I'm talking about the flirting and making out thing."

"Go on."

"Well we decided that we're better off as friends," I said, sitting up and folding my legs under me as Rosalie moved to sit in front of me. "I mean we like one another but there's no passion there, no fire."

"Did you, or did you not stay at his house, making out with him?"

"I did," I giggled. "It's just something we decided to enjoy while we had no one else."

"Friends with benefits."

"Friends with limited benefits," I corrected her.

"I guess that makes sense," she smirked. "Now get your ass out of bed and showered, we have to go on a quick shopping spree before we leave. Emmett's gone to pick up Leah and Jacob from the hotel and get some sodas in the ice chest. Jasper's grabbing the food and everything we need for that. We're going to find shirts for me, you and Leah and a jersey for Jacob. Jasper, Ben and Emmett are set."

I nodded and rolled out of bed, dragging my ass into the shower while Rosalie disappeared into my closet.

"Oh I have a present for you, too," she shouted from the depths of my clothes and laughed when I groaned and pushed the door to the bathroom closed.

When I finally came back out I felt awake but couldn't help the groan as I noticed the box next to the shorts and generic t-shirt she'd picked out for me.

"You pick out your own underwear, I draw the line at picking out Bella's secret," she laughed from the couch where she was watching the weather channel.

"And I thought you were all about color coordination," I teased in response as I dressed.

"Oh I am. You'll see. Open your birthday present."

I raised my eyebrows and dressed quickly, falling onto the bed next to the wrapped box that was sitting close to where my clothes had been. I pulled it into my lap and opened it, almost squealing with delight when I realized I would be spending the day more comfortable than I had in weeks. She'd bought me tennis shoes, which of course had a streak of the LSU purple integrated into them.

"You mean I get to wear normal footwear?"

"It's a sporting event, Bella. It's the one place your evil stepmother won't deny you comfort. It's also your birthday weekend with your friends. Screw what she says anyway."

"Okay," I laughed, pulling on my socks and almost sighing in sheer joy as I slipped my foot into the shoe. "Where are we going to get the shirts this time of the morning on a Saturday, anyway?"

"I had a friend in my old high school. Her parents own a little LSU dedicated store, I called her last night and her parents said we can stop in there and grab what we need, as long as it's cash so they don't have to run it through the register till they open. I figured you'd want to pick out your own shirt, and you've known Leah all your life, so I'm sure you know her taste too."

"I do," I laughed. "What about you, don't you have a shirt already?"

Rosalie shook her head, and looked at the television in quiet contemplation before she answered. "It's always been a guy thing. Jasper, Emmett, Peter, Ben and Edward always went together, but Peter and Edward have tickets to the Saint's game. Emmett and Jasper figured it was about time we were allowed to share in the festivities."

"And we're going to make sure we're invited more often," I said, winking conspiratorially.

Rosalie laughed and turned off the television before meeting me at the top of the stairs. We made our way down but stopped at the door that was cracked at the bottom. There were two voices just outside my room, Izzy and Carlisle were arguing on the other side of it, and there was no escaping my room.

"Why does _she_ get to go then? She was grounded too."

"Yes, she was, and she's done the time; she wasn't the one with alcohol in every crevice of her room, Elizabeth."

"This is favortism dad; you can't punish one and not the other. All of _MY_ friends are going, and I'm not. How's that fair?"

"Who's she kidding?" Rosalie mumbled under her breath as she leaned against the wall opposite me.

"Elizabeth, you can whine and pout and call this favortism as much as you like, but the fact that you were the one that broke the rules still remains. Bella admitted that she'd made a mistake, she never even attempted to lie about it, and when I searched her room, I found nothing. You made the mistake, young lady, nobody else. You've only got yourself to thank for this."

"Oh really, you'd never have known if you hadn't been told. You don't care, you just hate that you were called out on your negligence."

"Go to your room, I don't want to see you for the rest of the day. You just lost your phone and pool privileges too . . . give me your phone."

"No . . ." she paused then her voice moved to a higher octave. "Dad, what are you doing? No, no."

I stuck my head out of the door and grabbed Rosalie's hand. Both of them had disappeared into Izzy's room and it was time to make our escape. I clicked the latch on my door and pushed it closed quietly, checking that it was locked before following Rosalie down the stairs.

~oOo~

We were on the road within an hour. Six of us in the Dodge and a couple more in Ben's truck that was following behind us. Rosalie was on the bench seat in the front of the truck between Emmett and Jasper, and I was in the back with Leah and Jacob.

Rosalie was recounting Izzy's whining session with Carlisle and had been for the last hour.

"Do you think she really believes we're her friends?" Jasper laughed when she was finished.

"No, Izzy uses that as an excuse, because she knows that if Carlisle thinks she's with me she won't get into trouble."

"She's delusional," Rosalie laughed again.

"Do you think she really has a drinking problem?" Leah asked, her feet nudging my leg. She was leaned against Jacob and her feet were in my lap.

"I wouldn't doubt it," Emmett sighed.

I was starting to feel guilty about what I'd done. If Izzy was right I had made Carlisle feel like a bad parent, and that hadn't been my intention. I hadn't wanted to hurt him by lashing out at Izzy. If I was being honest, I hadn't really wanted to call Izzy out either because it just complicated things.

Now she was inadvertently accusing me of stealing her friends. Friends that really hadn't been her friends to begin with. Had they simply tolerated her all this time, had they invited her to do things? Or had it always been this way?

The fact was it didn't really matter. It was done and there was nothing I could do to change it. These people were my friends, and the only people I trusted aside from Leah and her family. That was important to me.

"Ouch," I squealed as Leah brought her heel down, giving me a dead leg. "What the fuck, Lee?"

"I wasn't sure you'd feel that, you were spaced."

"I did," I moaned, swatting her feet off my lap and rubbing my thigh because I couldn't get out to stretch it.

"Good, cuz we're almost there," Emmett laughed from the front seat as he followed the sea of purple and gold toward Tiger Stadium.

I couldn't believe the sight; from what I could see the campus was beautiful, but most of my field of vision was obscured by the tents set up in the section we were in. There were so many people gathered and the school colors were everywhere as far as the eye could see.

Emmett found a spot and parked, and Ben pulled up beside him as we all piled out and started unpacking things. The boys immediately started putting together the tents they'd brought, Ben and his friend Eric started cooking the jambalaya. They were so organized as they worked and left little for the rest of us to do.

"Is there anything we can do, Em?" I asked, following him back to the truck for the third time, him still not letting me carry anything.

"No, just enjoy yourselves. We don't have tickets for today's game so this is it for now. You could just go walking around or stay with us. It's up to you. You're here to have fun and relax."

"Fun, relax, right."

Emmett guffawed in his usual spirited laughter and tossed me the football that was on top of the cooler he was about to pick up. "Why don't you girls try your hand at the actual game and give us some entertainment."

"What, you think because we're chicks we can't throw a ball, Em?" Rosalie asked, dancing up beside me and pulling the ball out of my hands. "Come on, Bella, let's go throw the pigskin around and slap each other's asses."

She threw her arm around my neck and steered me toward an empty spot as she threw the ball up and caught it with her free hand. Considering how useless I was at anything to do with coordination, I anticipated the embarrassment I was sure to feel.

"Leah," Rosalie called with a smile. It seemed that she and Leah got along well, they'd been talking on and off for the entire drive and found they had more in common than even I'd thought they had.

"Yeah?"

"Girls throwing balls, you in?"

Leah threw her head back and laughed before standing on the tips of her toes to kiss Jacob and running toward us like a cheetah.

I was doomed.

"You need a fourth?"

The three of us turned to the voice. The beautiful redhead was walking toward us from one of the tents that were set up on the other side of the open space. She had to be at least twenty, but her smile was friendly enough.

"That would be great," Rosalie offered. "I'm Rose, and this is Bella and Leah."

"Victoria," she smiled, pulling her fiery hair back and winding a band around it. "You guys freshmen?"

"No, juniors," Rosalie answered confidently, squeezing the ball between her legs before twisting her hair at the back of her neck and snapping a clip around it. "In high school."

Victoria nodded at Rosalie. "You and I on a team?"

"Sure," Rosalie answered, shrugging as she pulled the ball from between her knees.

We paired up and Leah went through our strategies. I was covering Victoria and ordered to do what I could to get the ball from her if I was to find her in possession of it. Leah was the most competitive person I knew and I knew that she was in it to win it.

The game started playfully enough, we spent more time laughing than playing. Leah and I were up two–one, much to my surprise and I found myself bouncing around like a cocker spaniel as I tried to cover Victoria. She was fast and her long legs seemed to give her the advantage when she tried to dodge me.

Rosalie threw her the ball with precision, and I tried to catch the ball before it got to her. I was almost as surprised as she was when I actually managed it. I stood in shock, staring at the ball in my hands before Leah screamed at me to run.

I took off down our small playing field to where Leah and I had decided our end zone was. I managed to dance around Rosalie and avoid Victoria's hands as she grabbed at me and took off again, only stopping when I was in the end zone, squealing with delight.

The applause shocked me a little because I hadn't realized we had an audience, and I couldn't help but curtsy at Emmett and Jasper as they cheered.

We continued to play, Emmett and Jasper playing with us. Jasper was on Rosalie's team, Emmett on ours. Jasper was fast and seemed to shadow my every move, making it impossible to do anything. Victoria threw him the ball and I ran at him without really having a plan. He took off, but my momentum was already in place. I pulled the ball from his hand and double backed toward our end zone feeling victorious.

"Bella?" A voice I recognized called and I stopped, not even thinking about what was behind me. I caught his eyes as Jasper ran into the back of me. I could see the ground coming at me too fast but threw my hands out to save myself anyway. I felt my wrist bend the wrong way and let out a yelp as the rest of my body crashed to the ground behind me.

"Shit, Bella. I'm so sorry." Jasper mumbled from over me, his hands under my arms as he pulled me to my feet.

"It was bound to happen eventually," I admitted with a smile, trying my hardest not to flex my wrist too much and give away the injury.

"Bells."

"I'm fine, Lee," I grinned, my arm frozen in place.

"You're a terrible liar," she said, holding out her hand as my eyes scanned the small group that had gathered to watch us play. "Bella."

I rolled my eyes and put both of my hands in hers. I could hear her expletive as she saw the swelling on the wrist I had probably bruised, or worst case scenario, sprained. My eyes were still scanning the crowd, looking for the familiar face, but it seemed he was gone.

"How bad? And tell me the truth."

"Bruised, maybe sprained."

"No break?"

"No, doesn't hurt that bad."

"And you know this how?" Jasper chortled from beside me, his hand reaching out and cradling the forearm of the injured wrist.

"She and the ER have this love-hate relationship. They've become intimate over the years."

"You weren't lying when you said you were clumsy then?" Jasper said, his free arm wrapping around my waist and pulling my back against his chest. His other hand was still holding my arm out in front of me.

"Unfortunately not," I sighed, laying my head against his chest. "Still, I think I have to sit this game out."

"You bet your ass you are," Leah said, waving Jacob over from where he was leaning against the truck. "Jacob will take your place."

I nodded and turned in Jasper's arms, looking up and giving him a wink. "Go play, I'm going to grab a soda. You need anything?"

"I'm good thanks," he grinned, releasing me and slapping my ass as he ran back toward the game.

I rolled my eyes and headed to where the others were sitting, watching over the food and drinking beers.

The game didn't last much longer after my injury. Everyone, including Victoria, ended up out of breath in the chairs we'd brought with us. It turned out Leah's team won, which was really no surprise. I was sure after my swift exit it gave her a further advantage.

When the guys brought out some beers, Emmett and Leah both looked at me with concern. I wasn't that deep into the mess, I wasn't going to jump in the cooler and drain all the bottles like the cookie monster with cookies. I knew they were just looking after me, but I couldn't help but laugh at them.

When there was only an hour left until the game started, Leah, Rosalie and I decided we were going to walk around the growing crowd that had quadrupled since we'd arrived.

It was so much fun to just watch people as they interacted, shouting "Geaux Tigers," when they saw our shirts. We were invited into groups as we passed and we hung out for a while, laughing and talking. I had never in my life been in an atmosphere like it. It was high-spirited fun paired with camaraderie for the team.

We ended up making a huge circle, and just before we made it back to the guys, Victoria pulled us into her group to introduce to her friends. Rosalie and Leah were animated in a discussion about the college with a jock who seemed to be trying and failing to flirt with Rose. I was talking to a sophomore who was trying to convince me that he made the best gumbo on campus, he was so drunk he was stumbling while standing still.

"Seriously, you should try it. I promise you'll be hunting me down for more."

"Chad, the girl said no, you may have to use your gumbo line on somebody else."

I turned and smiled at the voice behind me. James stood with his hands in his pockets grinning. I stepped forward and threw my arms around him, giving him a huge hug. I hadn't seen him since the disaster and I'd felt bad about how I'd left him that night.

"I forgot you went to school here," I said, stepping back and smiling. "I thought it was you calling my name earlier."

"Yeah," he smiled sheepishly, picking up the wrist I'd hurt gingerly. "I didn't mean to distract you, I felt terrible. Have you iced it down?"

"Yeah, our friend Ben insisted," I admitted, feeling a little awkward as his thumb stroked my skin gently.

"How have you been? I was worried about you the last time I saw you."

"I'm fine, I was grounded after Izzy called me out but was released early for good behavior."

"I swear I wonder how she and I became friends sometimes. She never used to be such a bitch."

I laughed and pulled my arm from his hand subtly, letting it drop to my side. After our conversation in the car that night, I really didn't want to give him the wrong idea. In all honesty, Izzy's words were repeating themselves in my head from the corridor, and it made me feel awkward.

"Bella?" Leah asked, sliding up beside me and giving James the once over.

"Hey, Lee. This is James, he's the one who helped me home that night."

"Oh right, the deflector of Izzy's evil master plan."

"That's a new one," James laughed, offering his hand. "James Webber."

"Angela's brother?" Rosalie asked, stepping up to my other side.

"The very same. You must be Rosalie?"

Rosalie smiled and nodded in confirmation. The arrival of my friends seemed to stop whatever conversation James and I were about to have. His hands went back into his pockets and he looked uncomfortable, which was a complete contradiction to the guy I'd met through Izzy.

"So you're dating Jasper Whitlock? I'm imagining Jessica can't be too happy about that."

"They're just friends," Rosalie teased, nudging me. "But we don't tell Jessica that."

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought . . ."

"Oh they're good friends," Leah added, nudging my other side, making me roll my eyes.

James nodded and looked between us before his eyes widened and his eyes rolled.

"Ladies, I see you've met my ex," Victoria almost growled from behind us. "He decided to kick me to the curb because he thought he wanted a thing with a high schooler. Shame she didn't want him."

"Vicky," James groaned, his hands running down his face in exasperation.

"What?" she asked, dragging out the a's.

"You're drunk."

"I am, and surprisingly you're not for once."

Leah, Rosalie and I stepped out from between them and headed toward our group. I offered James an apologetic smile as I passed him, hoping that he wouldn't have too hard of a time.

"High school girl?" Rosalie asked, looking behind her when we were out of earshot. "Interesting. I wonder who it is."

"No idea, but he's slept with Izzy before."

"Are you serious?"

"It's what she said, but who knows if she actually has," I grinned, shaking my head.

"She told you that?" Leah asked curiously. "Was this while you were friendly?"

"No, this was the Monday after that weekend, she and Jessica confronted me in the hall. They were calling me a whore, saying that I had slept with him in my drunken binge. Jess apparently has a crush on him, so Izzy tried to get a rise out of me by leaning in and telling me that he told her I didn't have her skills."

"Who'd want her skills?" Rosalie asked, shaking her head. "And if you ask me, which I know you didn't but your getting it anyway, James has a thing for our Bella."

"No he doesn't."

"I dunno," Leah added with a laugh. "The way he was looking at you made it seem as though he did."

"He helped me out, we're friends, nothing more."

"He's kinda hot."

"Will you shut up," I sighed, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. "He asked for my number but I said no. I would think he's over it by now."

The two of them laughed and pulled me toward the group where they were watching us with curiosity. Victoria's aggression made it obvious how hurt she'd been by James, and I was beginning to wonder if maybe Izzy hadn't been completely fabricating everything she told me. Had Jessica and James had something before he'd helped me out? There'd been nothing between us other than friendship, but maybe it was Izzy's way of cementing Jessica's hate for me.

Whatever was going on, it was confusing and none of my business. I just hoped it would all work out for James in the end. He seemed miserable.

"Ladies," Emmett grinned as we got back within shouting distance. "Just in time for the game. What took you so long?"

"Bella's picking up admirers."

Jasper's eyes lifted from the radio he was tuning, they caught mine as he searched my face for any truth in the accusation and grinned when I rolled my eyes. He held open his arms as he put the radio on the floor and I fell into his lap happily.

"Admirers, huh?"

"Oh, shut up. They're just picking on me. We ran into James."

"Webber?"

"Yeah, he's the one who helped me home last week," I said, leaning back into his chest and placing my head against his.

"I didn't know that." His voice was faint as his fingers traced over the bruise already appearing on my wrist.

"It wasn't important," I said, flinching as I turned my hand to lace my fingers with his.

He hummed his disagreement but said nothing more on it. Before I could ask about his reaction, Emmett swooped in and picked up the radio, tuning it into the game before setting it on the table and shouting "Geaux Tigers" at the top of his voice, which seemed to set off a chain reaction to everyone around us.

I wasn't sure if Jasper was worried about something or simply jealous. I didn't know what there was to worry about, and after our discussion last night, I highly doubted he was jealous. Did he and James have a history I didn't know about?

I didn't really get the opportunity to think anymore on it as the excitement of the first play started the crowd singing "Hey Fighting Tigers!" all around us.

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**A/N: Sorry, no birthday yet, but the Cullen's don't seem to do anything in small measure so I think I can say with assurance that you're in for more than there should be lol. Still I hope it doesn't drag out and bore you to death. **

**I also hope my lack of football knowledge didn't offend anyone. I know limited amounts about the game, even if I do love to watch it. I know the basics and as you can probably tell I used them here.**

**A HUGE THANK YOU to ANNABANANA for all the info about LSU and the games. She's been an amazing asset for this story as well as a kick ass beta to boot. I think I can honestly say I would be lost without her.**

**Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, and Hev99. You girls keep me sane and I am so luck to have the honor to call you guys friends. I really don't know what I would do without you.**

**Thank you to everyone who reviews this story, and to the one of you who pimp it out each week. If I was Oprah I would so give you a car, but I'm not and unless you want one of those little barbie electric cars your SOL. I love you all anyway though. Every week you give me amazing comments and ask intuitive questions. You keep my mind working and I thank you for your everything you've done.**

**Much love and huge hugs ~Weezy~**


	20. Birthday Dinners and Other Disasters

_**All things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer, some small plot points are attributed to V.C. Andrews and the rest is my odd mind.**_

_**

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**_

**Birthday Dinners and Other Disasters**

_It's in my head now  
Can't let go  
No matter what you said  
'Cuz I already know  
**Just A Little Heat by The Black Keys**_

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**_

The rest of the day had been amazing. Once the game had kicked into gear we were all screaming and shouting at the plays. It didn't seem to matter whose group you were attached to, everyone just molded together and partied. It was such a fun atmosphere, I found myself hoping that they would invite us again.

I'd said goodbye to Leah and Jacob last night when we got back. They were leaving early this morning because Jacob had to work in the afternoon and he couldn't take another day off to hang out a while longer. My goodbyes to my best friends never got easier with time, and I doubted it ever would.

They of course left me presents and made me promise to wait until Monday, my actual birthday, to open them. I swore I would, and I promised to call when I opened them. I knew Leah liked to be there for the reaction, even if I did give her crap about spending too much money.

I got up early on Sunday morning and not by my own volition. I could hear Izzy's stamping around and shouting as it echoed around every corner of the house. Whatever had upset her had sent her into a tirade, and I tried to pull the covers over my head, but it was hopeless. Her voice seemed to echo the louder it got.

I made my way down to the kitchen, ignoring the death glare I received when I stepped out of my room and onto the landing where she and Tanya were toe to toe, noses almost touching. Both voices so high only dogs could hear them. I couldn't even figure out what they were screaming about, so I ignored them and continued down the back stairs to the kitchen as the voices picked up again behind me.

"Morning," Emmett yawned from the table where he was pushing eggs and bacon around his plate. "I'm surprised you were able to sleep so long with the clashing of Medusa and Pamela Voorhees up there."

"I was trying to ignore it. How long have they been at it?"

"An hour now. Mom's taking advantage of the grounding and refusing to let Izzy shop for something to wear to dinner tomorrow night."

"This is about clothes?"

Emmett nodded and smirked, taking a mouthful of eggs.

"How do they act when it's something worth fighting over?"

"Tanya will take a few days off to spa, and when she comes back they ignore the issue," Carlisle answered, walking in rubbing his dirty blond hair as he honed in on the coffee pot. "They've been at it since yesterday morning. I think it's Izzy's push to drive us insane before her grounding comes to an end."

"Do the rest of us have to suffer through it though?" Peter asked, walking into the kitchen in pajama pants. "I mean there's less noise at a UFC cage fighting match than there is right now."

"I've tried breaking it up on several occasions this morning. I even sent Tanya out to lunch with the ladies yesterday," Carlisle sighed, taking a mouthful of coffee. "Izzy starts again the moment I turn my back."

"Maybe a bitch slap will help."

"Not helpful, Peter," Carlisle said, raising his eyebrows.

"Then let her go shopping. For the love of God, I'm tired of hearing this shit."

"Then her punishment means nothing. You boys know the rules."

"But at what cost? Our sanity?"

"Stop being so melodramatic, Pete," Emmett laughed, sitting back in the chair he was occupying.

"Stop being an asshat, Em."

"Seriously guys?" I asked, walking towards the coffee pot. "You're really gonna go there now, with those two at it upstairs?"

I reached up for a mug with the hand I'd landed on and cringed as Carlisle put down his coffee cup and grabbed my wrist with that medical tenderness most doctors seemed to have. It really wasn't a big deal; it barely hurt anymore.

"What happened?"

"My usual struggle with gravity," I giggled, tucking my hair behind my ear with my free hand. "I was playing football and landed on it."

"This could be broken."

"It's not," I said, smiling confidently. "It doesn't even hurt anymore. I think it's just bruised."

Carlisle's fingers ran along the bones of my wrist and down my hand to my fingers, as he made sure there was no obvious damage to my hand. His warm fingers pushed at the bruise, feeling around the darker areas and smoothing out to the lighter parts.

"Maybe you should come to the hospital with me so I can x-ray it."

"There's really no need. I know you're a doctor and all, but believe me I know a broken bone."

"Leah was playing nurse anyway—apparently this isn't the first time they'd been through this together." Emmett chuckled again and I gave him the finger behind my back which only made him laugh harder.

"I have a bandage in my office. Would you at least wear it for a couple of days to make sure that it's supported if it is a sprain?"

"But it won't match her dress," Peter said, fanning himself with his hand. "It will be a disaster."

"Very funny, Peter. Don't you have somewhere to be today?" Carlisle asked, chuckling as he released my wrist so I could get a mug for my coffee.

"Unfortunately not. I am a free agent for the next week. You're gonna get sick of seeing me."

"Where's dad?" Emmett asked suspiciously.

"He's gone out of town with Irina for the week."

"Irina?" Emmett asked with his eyebrows high on his forehead.

"See if you actually gave dad a chance and hung out with him occasionally you'd know these things. She's a Swedish model. He's been seeing her for a couple months."

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Emmett mumbled, standing up and grabbing his plate. "And I've told you before, I've given him too many chances. He doesn't deserve another."

"Come with me, Bella," Carlisle asked, his arm out telling me to lead the way. He'd obviously seen one of these discussions between Emmett and Peter before because he looked resigned to the fact it was going to happen.

I took the chance while I had it. I hugged the mug to my chest and walked to his study as the voices in the kitchen rose in volume and rivaled the voices I could hear upstairs. I could hear Emmett's voice deepen as his anger grew with his brother, and I couldn't stop from turning my head to see if he was alright.

"Best to let them talk it out. It's the one thing I never get involved with. It's their father; you can't say anything right when it comes down to that. Believe me I've tried," Carlisle sighed, shutting the door to the study behind him and muffling the voices. "I'm sorry you have to deal with all this, Bella."

"Is it always like this?"

"The arguments?"

I nodded and sat down in the seat opposite his desk, my fingers running along the spines of the books closest to me.

"Not this bad, but then Izzy's never been this insolent before. I know that I haven't done the best job I could with her. I was at school and then the hospital a lot when she was growing up. I didn't know what Elizabeth was doing to her. She's been guarded since, just lately though her walls have been going up more often."

I knew he was just trying to be honest with me, and I did appreciate that, but at the same time I felt like I was intruding in Izzy's life in even listening to what he had to say. I was sure if she wanted me to know the finer details she would tell me herself. Jasper and Rosalie had given me a breakdown of her past, but hearing it from our father made it all the more real.

"Okay, let me see your wrist," he said, kneeling in front of my with a stretchy looking bandage in his hand. I held out my arm and let him get to work, watching him as he twisted it around my arm with almost a reverence.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can."

"Are you happy?"

Carlisle stopped working on my hand and looked up at me, bouncing on the balls of his feet where he was perched in front of me. I wasn't trying to be rude or intrusive with the question, I was just curious. It seemed as though no one really asked those kind of things in this house.

"I'm happy I have all of my family together. I'm happy you found me."

"That's not really what I'm asking," I said timidly, looking to the spines of the books again.

"Then what do you mean?"

I looked back at him and examined his face, making sure I wasn't offending him in any way. It was a personal question, one that I doubted most daughters would ask their fathers, but this wasn't exactly a normal situation. It never had been and I highly doubted it ever would be. I may as well get to know him as best I could.

"Well that first lunch we had when we talked, I asked you what you wanted and you said no one had really asked you that before. Having been here these few weeks, I've . . . I've noticed things that I didn't see the first week or so I was here."

"What kind of things?"

"It's just, well . . . You're never here. I want to spend time with you, it's the whole reason I moved here in the first place and I know I haven't exactly made myself available, but when I did try, I noticed you're not really here that much. I mean I know we spent a lot of time together last week, but other than that there's not really much opportunity."

"You noticed that, huh?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it, really—I just—I don't know."

"Sometimes I am happy, I see you and Izzy and I can't help but be proud of the two of you. You're both beautiful, smart kids. I love you both unconditionally, even though I haven't been in your life for sixteen years, it doesn't mean I didn't think about you every day. Then I look at Izzy, really look at her, and I see how miserable she is and I don't know how to fix that, I don't know how to help the little girl that fought to spend time with me. You're so well balanced, Bella, I only wish Izzy had the same."

"Balanced?" I asked, putting my hand on top of the frozen ones still holding the bandage at my wrist. "I struggle every day, wondering why my own mother can't stand to be around me, why mamére lied to me every day of my life. I sometimes feel like I would have been happier if I knew you my whole life and other times I feel as though it was meant to be. I have had so much love in my life, and knowing you now, I get to have that little bit of love I lost when mamére died. I feel guilty when I start feeling happy, and then I feel guilty when I'm not. I'm not well balanced, dad, no one is."

The word dad had fallen out of my mouth; I couldn't believe I'd just said it out loud. I looked up at his face and saw the smile there and knew I couldn't take it back, and I wasn't even sure I really wanted to. Last week had been nice. Getting to know him, I could see parts of him reflecting in myself.

"Bella, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all feel guilt, but knowing the differences, picking out your own mistakes is just one of the things that makes you who you are. You don't see it, but you've done so much good by being here. Emmett is a perfect example. He used to hide here in the study if he wasn't out with his friends, the only time he was happy was when he was with his friends. Peter is just slightly more polite than he used to be. You make me smile every time I talk to you, which makes it so much easier to talk to Izzy. You belong with us and you belong with Sue and her family. No one is forcing you to choose between us, we just want you to be happy."

He finished my wrist and cupped my cheeks with his hands, his gray eyes capturing mine. I could see the honesty there as he stared at me.

"As for your mother. She has to be the biggest idiot on the face of this planet to avoid you, because look at how you turned out _despite_ her. You're smart and beautiful and your heart is so big that you amaze me sometimes. When I see you and Leah together I see what we stole from you and your sister. I know she makes it hard for you to love her, but give her time."

Carlisle opened his mouth to continue our conversation but was interrupted by the door opening with a crash as it hit the hard bookshelf behind it.

"Daddy, she's impossible, I won't stand for this anymore . . . "

Izzy's eyes grew wide as she eyed our dad's hands on my cheeks. He must have seen the same thing, because he let his hands fall to his knees and pushed up from where he was crouched, patting my bandaged wrist gently as he stretched to his full height.

"Come in and sit down, Izzy."

"Why? What's she told you now? What else are you going to ground me for on _her_ word?"

"Elizabeth Cullen, I will not have you say another insolent word about me or your sister. You will come in and do as I ask or go to your room. You will start listening to what I have to say, young lady; this crap is going stop now. I've had enough of your attitude."

I had never heard his tone so strict before, and if I hadn't have been sitting already, I would have fallen into a chair obediently, which is exactly what Izzy did. She slid into the seat close to me, her eyes darting to me and back to our dad.

"Yes, sir."

"Both of you have to stop this. I know this is new to you, I know that you have had sixteen years without so much as a sibling, but you're twins. I blame myself for this rift between you, but I want you both to make an effort."

"It wasn't you . . . dad," I hesitated but said it anyway, knowing it would hurt his feelings if I reverted to Carlisle. I didn't miss Izzy's head snapping in my direction either. "It was our Mother, she's selfish enough to not care about us and what we need, she just wanted the money."

"Be mad at her all you want, she did me a favor," snorted Izzy beside me. "And when did you start calling him dad?"

"That's not relevant, Izzy, nor is it helpful. All I'm asking you to do is think before you speak."

"That's all?" Izzy asked, a perfect smile on her lips as she fluttered her eyelashes.

"That's all."

Izzy sat and looked contemplative as she looked at me. Her eyes, the same gray as our father's, hardened as her lips curled into a sneer. "I hate you, go back to where you came from and leave us alone."

"Elizabeth."

"Yes, daddy? You said think about what I was going to say, and I thought long and hard about it."

"Just go to your room, please," Dad sighed in resignation.

"But . . ."

"You're still grounded, and you'll be lucky if you get your party next week. Bella will pick out a dress for you for tomorrow night." He put up his hand to stop her very obvious argument. "You either communicate what you want, or let her pick for you. Whatever she does pick out, you will wear. Bella, I am trusting you."

"Yes, sir."

We both got up and walked to the door, well, Izzy marched. I walked. As much as I wanted to teach Izzy a lesson, I knew I didn't want to disappoint Carlisle. We both walked to the stairs and made our way up them. I headed toward my room to get my bag so I could get ready and get this out of the way so I could be screamed at some more for getting the wrong thing, because no matter what I got I knew it would be wrong.

"Ok here's the deal," Izzy said reluctantly. I stopped and turned to face her. Her hands were on her hips as she stood in the open doorway to her room. "You probably don't like this and of course I don't, but I really want this dress. If I give you all the details will you get it?"

"Yes, Iz, I'll get you the dress you want."

Izzy disappeared into her room and came back a couple of minutes later with a printed sheet of paper. She shoved it at me and nodded when I didn't take it.

"I wrote my size on it. The second sheet is the shoes I need to go with it. If you go to the mall you shouldn't have any trouble finding it. I suggest you take Rosalie with you; she's good at getting what she wants."

"Sure."

She grunted at me, which I assumed was a thank you, and disappeared back into her room, slamming the door closed behind her. I was glad she suggested taking Rosalie because I was hoping she could help me pick out a dress to wear.

~oOo~

"Happy Birthday, Bella," Jasper shouted as he met up with me outside of our first period class. He shoved what looked like a professionally wrapped box in my hands, making me blush pathetically.

"Thanks, Jasper," I mumbled, unable to help the smile on my face as he wiggled his eyebrows at me. He offered me his arm and walked us to our normal seats, sliding into his as I slid into mine.

"Open it already," he said impatiently.

I laughed and peeled open the package, revealing a box that housed a digital camera. It was silver and sleek and I loved it, but it was so much more than I had expected.

"Jasper . . ."

"You better be saying thank you, and not some stupid shit like, this is too much, or I can't accept this."

"Is it's beautiful off limits?" I asked, laughing.

Jasper grinned proudly and nodded, accepting the comment on his gift. I turned to put the box into my bag as the teacher stepped into the class, cutting off any conversation we wanted to have.

The rest of the day went much the same way, Rosalie handed me another gift before lunch, which was a stereo system for my iPod. I had to drop that off at my locker because it was huge, and that's where I ended up bumping into Edward.

I hadn't seen him much last week and he was normally at practice during lunch, so seeing him here was a surprise. He handed me a big wrapped gift, mumbled happy birthday and then disappeared into the crowd.

When I'd opened it, I was surprised by what was inside. It was a beautiful leather backpack from a popular designer; one I knew must have been expensive. I found myself blushing as I put it back into its protective bag and pushed it into my locker. I was feeling slightly overwhelmed by it all, and if I was being honest, I just wanted to go home and hide.

I knew I had to thank him for the gift though, and after telling Jasper I would meet him in the cafeteria rather than him meet me after class, I made my way to the pool where I knew Edward would be practicing. He was already in the water swimming laps when I got there. I made my way to his lane and waited at the end, hoping he would see me standing there.

He did.

"Hey, what are you doing hiding in here again?" he laughed, crossing his arms on the tiled ledge so his torso was above water distracting me, while the blush and guilt fought for victory.

"I just came to say thank you. For my gift." I knelt on the ground in front of him so we were closer to eye level.

"You're welcome," he said, smiling the lopsided smile I remembered from our first civil conversation. "Rose loves those things; I figured if she did, most other chicks would appreciate it."

"It's beautiful, really, and entirely too much."

"It's a bag, Bella," he laughed, raising his eyebrows.

I nodded and offered him another smile. "I should probably go, they're waiting for me in the cafeteria. I have a sneaking suspicion they've planned something. Maybe I should hide in here."

"You hide in here, you have to get in."

"Pool rules?"

"My rules," he laughed, his hand hovering over the water as though he were going to splash me.

"You wouldn't?"

"He would," Peter said from behind me, laughing. "You're wearing a white shirt, you do realize what happens when they get wet, right?"

"Pete," Edward laughed, rolling his eyes before turning his attention back to me. "Go enjoy your lunch, I'll talk to you later."

I nodded and pushed up from the ground as Peter dived in the pool. "Thanks again."

"You're welcome."

I gave him one last parting smile before backing away and leaving the pool area altogether.

Lunch was interesting. Rosalie produced a cupcake with a candle in it, and Ben and Jasper seemed to contend for loudest singer of happy birthday which drew more attention than I wanted, effectively making me blush and, of course, Izzy glare from the other side of the cafeteria. She'd yet to say thank you for the dress, but I really wasn't holding my breath for that.

The rest of the day seemed to pass too quickly, bringing us ever closer to the birthday dinner that I really wasn't looking forward to. Thankfully, we were having an early meal and then Emmett and I were meeting up with the others to go bowling.

I knew the evening was going to be tense, but I hadn't prepared for just how awful it was.

The six of us were seated around the table in silence. Izzy and I were on either side of dad; Emmett was next to me, which I needed for moral support. You could have cut the tension with a knife as we waited for our food. The silence was almost piercing, even with the conversations at the tables around us.

I was beginning to wonder why we did dinner at all if this was the result. It would have been so much easier to do whatever they were planning at the house and then let us go our separate ways. It wasn't as though we were having fun.

"How was everybody's day?" dad asked, breaking the lingering silence after our meals were delivered. It seemed he was tired of the tenuous silence.

"It was good thanks, how about yours?" Emmett offered, seemingly taking the prompt and running with it.

"Interesting actually," Carlisle answered, smiling. "Did you girls have a good day at school?"

"It would have been better if I could have accepted the invitations to hang out with friends tonight," Izzy drawled, her fork stabbing the lettuce of the salad she'd ordered.

"Funny you should say that," Dad laughed, turning in his seat to face her. "I think, considering it's your birthday, we'll end your grounding for now. You and I have talked about the consequences should something like this happen again."

"Really?"

Carlisle nodded and Izzy threw her arms around his waist, her chin landing on his shoulder where she proceeded to smirk at me.

"Thank you, daddy. I won't let you down."

"I know you won't, baby," he laughed, releasing her. "Now eat up so we can give you both your gifts."

"So were you able to follow all of my gift suggestions?" Izzy asked as she picked up her fork again. "I put a new one in there yesterday."

"Yes, I saw that and I don't think it's appropriate."

"It was only a suggestion to send her back to where she came from. It's not like it costs money."

Peter and Emmett laughed quietly under their breath, but in an act of sympathy, Emmett shook his head and winked at me. Tanya seemed uninterested, but dad was affronted.

"Do you really want to be grounded again?"

"For what? Being honest? That hardly seems fair."

"Your disregard for Bella's feelings seems unfair, but you don't take that into account do you?"

"Why would she, dear? She believes the world revolves around her. She's the most spoiled brat in New Orleans," Tanya added, putting down her phone and taking a mouthful of food.

"Fuck you, Tanya."

"Elizabeth!"

"What? The woman is a troll. I can't even believe she's here. Shouldn't she be out with the ladies? It is a day ending in Y after all."

Peter snorted but turned away, and Emmett hung his head. Unfortunately, his dimples gave him away. I couldn't even bring myself to see the humor and truth in the statement because I was horrified this was happening in the middle of a restaurant where people were starting to look at us.

"Do you see what I have to put up with, Carlisle? You're always defending her, but it's plain as day in front of you. Now there's two of them."

"Mom, Bella hasn't said a bad word to you since she's been here."

"Emmett, stay out of this."

"Here we go," Peter sighed from the other side of the table, pulling his napkin off his lap and dropping it over his food. "Sorry, Bella, Izzy, I ain't sticking around for this shit. I'll give you your presents later."

"Peter Anthony McCarty, you will sit down this instant and continue eating your meal or I will call your father," Tanya hissed, plastering a fake smile on her lips as she finally started noticing the people staring.

"Call him, Mother. It's not like he doesn't know you're a crazy, controlling bitch. Wasn't that why you got divorced in the first place?"

"Sit. Down. Now."

"No." Peter offered the rest of the table a smile before strolling out of the restaurant, leaving us all open mouthed as we watched him leave.

"Wow, that was fun," Izzy laughed from the other side. "Has Bella been taking lessons from you Tanya? She's a crazy controlling whore."

"Excuse me?" I asked, leaning forward so I could see her.

"I called you. A. Whore. Why, are you deaf as well as dumb?"

"Elizabeth. Stop."

"A whore, Izzy, really? Is the definition lost on you? Maybe I should have bought you a dictionary for your birthday you dumb bitch."

"Isabella."

"Are you forgetting your drunken evenings with James?"

"Newsflash, bitch: nothing happened, but then you'd know that if you actually had a conversation with someone rather than making accusations."

"Sure, just what a slut-whore like you would say. Daddy, you wouldn't believe how promiscuous she is."

I laughed maniacally. I couldn't believe she was trying to have this argument in front of our father or the fact that she was trying to involve him. It was the last straw; I was so beyond all of this that the reciprocation slipped out without even thinking about the consequences.

"Slut-whore? Sweetheart, I am still a virgin and proud of it. Shame we can't say the same about you!" I didn't wait for a come back, I didn't even wait to hear Carlisle's reaction. I just wanted out, and I wanted out now.

I grabbed my purse and stamped towards the front door, ignoring the stares of the people who'd been close enough to hear our argument. I just didn't care anymore. If this was the way she wanted it. Fine. I would take my happy ass home. This wasn't quitting. This was for my sanity. If this kept up, I would end up doing something I regretted and alienating my dad for the rest of my life.

I paced in front of the restaurant as I tried to gather my thoughts. I couldn't even figure out which way was home because my mind was hazed in a red cloud of anger. If it had been possible, I was sure I'd have fire coming from my nostrils. The bitch had pushed me too far this time.

"Bella." Emmett's voice reached me before he did. I'd strolled a block away already, probably in the wrong direction but I didn't care. "Come on, slow down."

I did as he asked and slowed to a stop, my arms wrapping around my body as my anger shook me. I wanted to call Leah and ask her to come and get me. I wanted to just run from everyone and everything in this stupid town and finally admit defeat. I wasn't strong enough.

The sad thing was I knew I was, I just didn't have the energy to fight anymore.

"You okay?"

"No Emmett. I am so fucking far from okay I am orbiting another solar system."

"Jesus, you're shaking."

"I am fucking angry, Emmett, it's what I do."

Seeing that the conversation was obviously going nowhere, Emmett pulled me to him, his arms wrapping around me as my cheek pressed against his chest. He didn't say a word, he just stood there with his arms around me until my shaking calmed down to a tremble.

"I don't think I can do this anymore, Em."

"Don't be defeatist, you handled that better than most, and the way your dad was talking to her, I'm imagining that she's gonna think twice before lashing out again."

"I just don't care, I don't even want to look at her, and my God, what was I thinking shouting that out like that? I'm a fucking idiot. An embarrassed idiot at that."

"I thought you were proud of it?" Emmett asked, trying not to laugh, but I could feel him shaking.

"Shut up, Emmett," I laughed, backing away from him now he'd managed his objective to make me smile. "I am horrified."

"Don't be, it's actually kind of refreshing. But I didn't say that."

"Say what?" I grinned, slapping him with my purse.

"That's the smile I was looking for. Cheer the fuck up; you just schooled her in front of a restaurant and she had nothing to say to that."

"I shouldn't have said it, Em. I keep doing that, fighting fire with fire, and it gets us nowhere fast."

"Knock the shit out of her next time. I guarantee she will shut the fuck up then."

"Not helping, Em."

"I'm serious," he said, shrugging. "Right now she thinks she can say what the fuck she likes and there'll be no repercussions. Smack her just once and she'll remember it."

My head fell back so I was looking up at the sky, my shoulders went limp and I actually entertained the idea. "It's so counter productive though, Emmett, and it's not who I am."

"Then keep doing what you're doing. She doesn't know how to handle it . . ." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Look, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but you can't just walk away now."

He was right; I couldn't let her win by walking away. She obviously knew that by pushing hard enough I would leave and she could have everything back to the way she wanted it. By staying, I would show her that I wouldn't be moved, that her catty comments and obvious tactics to make me look like the black sheep would only make me try harder. She was still testing my limits, pressing buttons to see how I would react and hope that it would make me walk away or do something to live up to the label she'd pinned on me.

I couldn't let her win, but I couldn't keep playing into her hands either. I needed to just let things go.

"Bella, Emmett?" Carlisle called us from the front of the restaurant. He looked tired, his eyes sad as he tried to figure out what was going on.

"Come on, just talk to him. I think he's worried that you're actually going to walk away."

"I was until you came out here."

"Then I'm glad I decided to talk sense into you," he chuckled, throwing his arm around my shoulder and steering me back toward the restaurant and Carlisle.

"Emmett would you give us a minute please?" Carlisle asked as we approached. Emmett answered with a nod, tugged the ends of my hair and then disappeared inside again.

"Dad, I'm sorry . . . it's just I couldn't—I mean, I can't . . ."

"Bella, stop."

My mouth shut with a snap as I looked down.

"Look I know that things are difficult and strained between the two of you, but retaliating when she instigates something isn't helping a thing. I know that what she said was unnecessary in there, and I don't even know where to begin with everything that was said."

"I was telling the truth, dad. I know you don't know me, but . . ."

"Bella, I didn't come out here to talk to you about that. We can talk about that later, I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"I'm fine now, thank you."

"Now?"

"Emmett," I said simply, knowing that he would understand.

"Will you make me a promise?"

I didn't answer, I couldn't. I didn't want to make him a promise I couldn't keep. There was no way of knowing what he was going to ask.

"Please don't just disappear if you get upset. I know that it must be so easy to think about going home to Sue and Leah when the going gets tough, but please, all I'm asking is that you'll give me a chance to help fix whatever the problem is, talk to me before you make a hasty decision."

I thought about it. Was it a promise I could keep? Could I talk to him rationally before taking off to the comfort of my family and friends in the home I grew up in? I missed the simplicity of my life there, and situations like this made it hard to not contemplate going home. I knew they would welcome me with open arms, and I knew that there was love surrounding me there.

I wasn't weak and I wasn't a quitter. I enjoyed spending time with my dad, and Emmett and all my new friends, but were the negatives outweighing the positives? Were Tanya and Izzy worth going up against for the simple joy of companionship and getting to know my biological father? I thought so.

I threw my arms around my dad, laying my head on his shoulder as I sought comfort from him. "I promise."

* * *

**A/N: Some interesting developments. Edward, actually flirting! Like I said the Cullen's never do anything by halve and apparently arguing is one of those things. Bella would have been pushed to her limits to react like that, but Izzy seems to be an expert at button pressing!**

A huge thank you to Annanabanana, my beta, for not only correcting my atrocious grammar and punctuation, but also filling in any blanks I have with Louisiana and New Orleans.

Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors and Hev99, you ladies are constantly keeping my head on straight and stopping the Linda Blair worthy head spins I have going on. You keep me smiling and I love you for it.

I hope all of you who celebrate the fourth had an amazing long weekend and took care of yourselves :)

Lastly, but certainly not least, a huge thank you to the reviewers who keep me smiling week after week. Your replies are always entirely too kind, and you have the most amazing theories and questions that keep me on my toes. I love you all!

**Much love and huge hugz ~Weezy~**


	21. Transitions

_**All things Twilight belong to the Amazing Stephenie Meyer. Some plot points were inspired by V.C. Andrews. The rest however, all mine! Happy Tuesday ;)**_

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**Transitions**

_I'm gonna take a stab at this;  
sure you will be alright  
Make a decision with a kiss  
Baby I hold fast by it.  
**Ready, Able by Grizzly Bear**_

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The rest of the night got better the moment we left the restaurant and Izzy went her separate way to celebrate with her friends and Emmett and I left to meet everyone else.

We bowled for a while, laughing and joking around, ignoring the fact that everyone but Peter and Edward were there. Peter never was around much in the evenings so it wasn't unusual, especially after the tension-filled meal with the family. Edward though, he was with us less and less, and even when he was there he'd normally sit as far away from Rosalie and me as he could manage without disappearing to another table completely.

The whole week at school was bizarre for me. Nothing much had changed, but it felt so different. I found myself dividing my time between Angela and the rest of my friends. Angela had turned out to be fun and witty in her own mousy way. We'd sit laughing in our class as everyone around us had their head down working. Even Izzy seemed to ignore us. Whatever Carlisle had said to her seemed to be working for now, and I gripped it with two hands, giving her a wide berth so I didn't provoke her in any way.

Whether it made sense or not, I tried to avoid our table at lunch when Edward was there. I sat with Angela and her friends, hiding from the group so they didn't physically drag me to their table. It wasn't that I didn't like him—I did; after last week, I even had hopes of becoming friends, but Tuesday had been strained.

He'd sat at the end of the table next to Peter, eating the sandwich he'd bought, with his head down and his eyes avoiding everyone else at the table. I watched him closely until he looked up and caught me, making me blush and him flee. I didn't want his friends to be deprived of his time because I was sitting at the table, so Thursday I skedaddled to Angela's table for the first time.

I felt horrible when Jasper started texting me asking where I was. I told him the truth and saw his eyes scanning the room until he found me. He rolled his eyes and turned back to the group, and then all of them were looking at me. When Jasper moved to get up, Rosalie pulled him back down and gave me a nod. She explained later that she'd told him I was allowed to make other friends.

I spent that evening with Angela at her house. We were attempting to work on our English papers, but we ended up just talking about the fall of her friendship with Izzy and her brother's continued acquaintance with her. I invited her to the party on Saturday, but she politely declined the offer.

All too soon the day arrived and I found myself dreading the fake smiles and excitement of a birthday party that really had nothing to do with me. The family was under strict instructions from Tanya and Carlisle to save their presents for the big night, and I knew it was just killing Emmett because as he'd said himself, he was shit at surprises. He'd been avoiding me all week so he wouldn't accidentally say something he shouldn't.

"Come on, Bells, you're riding with me."

Emmett was by his truck when I exited the house all made up and ready to act like the happy family unit we weren't. Tanya had already drilled us about being on our best behavior because her and Carlisle's friends would also be there. Izzy and I had agreed and gone our separate ways, not even making eye contact.

Emmett and the others would be my only saving grace on this nightmare evening because we'd already been instructed there would be a photographer there who would insist we were photographed together, and we were expected to smile.

"Emmett, are you sure you can handle it?" I asked, teasing him playfully. "That's like twenty minutes alone with me in the car."

"Shut up. You know how shit I am at keeping surprises, so don't ask any questions and we should be fine."

"On one condition."

"Don't do this to me," he pouted, his hands running through his curls as he leaned against his truck.

"It's nothing bad."

"You promise?"

"Emmett."

He opened the truck door and lifted me inside before closing it behind him. He made his way to his side of the truck and climbed in, looking at me skeptically before sighing. "Fine."

"How bad is this going to be?"

"How bad is what going to be?" he asked, chuckling as he backed out of the drive and took off toward downtown where the party was being held in some huge fancy ballroom of an expensive hotel.

"This party. All the warnings and a photographer?"

"Don't worry, Izzy will be happy to act as center of the universe. Just stick with us. You'll be fine."

That didn't exactly ease my mind. Emmett seemed reluctant to give me any details at all. The 'stick with us and you'll be fine' routine was his usual way of getting out of saying anything. He knew how much I hated being in the spotlight, and his reaction seemed to just cement my fears.

"Just try to have fun. Jasper will stick by your side if you ask him to. Newton will be up Izzy's ass all night."

"I feel so much better," I said sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "Mike Newton being within hearing distance is going to do nothing but set Izzy off on one of her tirades."

"Oh I wouldn't worry about that tonight, she's gonna be in a good mood, and if you downplay, she'll be even happier."

"Thanks for the advice, Em." That wasn't going to be a problem at all. I would happily be the wallflower for the evening. I'd had my birthday with my friends the weekend before. I didn't need another. In fact, if I was being honest, I was attending this under duress. Dad had begged me, telling me he wanted to show his twins off.

"Just try and enjoy yourself, we're almost there and you're already breaking like four of mom's rules."

"How?"

"I don't see a smile, you're slouching, you're pouting, and your arms are folded."

"That's not really four, Emmett. All of that is conducive to pouting, and we're not there yet so let me enjoy it while I can."

He laughed at me and navigated the streets while I tried to get out of the mood I'd been in since Rosalie had taken me shopping this morning. I had put myself in a foul mood after Leah had called to tell me she couldn't make it, and poor Rosalie had done nothing but try and cheer me up the whole time we were in the mall.

She'd had me laughing, but the lecture we'd received from Tanya had put me right back where I was pre-Rose. I had to try and think of this as an evening with my friends. Everyone was going to be there, and the division would be as clear as it always was, except when Izzy and I were thrown together for photographs. I could do this. I could manage a couple of moments being thrown together with my twin; I just hoped she'd keep her mouth shut.

I looped my arm through Emmett's as we walked into the hotel. We were greeted by people I had never seen before, all off them wishing me a happy birthday and commenting on how much I looked like Izzy. I smiled and thanked them politely, excusing myself as Emmett pulled us toward the ornate double doors that the music was pouring from.

We found our friends easily. Edward, Peter and Ben were in an animated conversation, while Rosalie and Jasper sat on the other side of the table, talking quietly amongst themselves. Emmett joined Edward and the others, and I joined Jasper and Rosalie.

Thankfully, Emmett had been right. I spent most of the night in my corner, only being called to join my sister on things like cutting the cake and everyone singing happy birthday. Both Izzy and I were all smiles the moment we were anywhere near one another, leaning in close for photographs that sent all the adults in the room into a stir of aw's.

It wasn't just Izzy and me acting either. Tanya and dad stuck close to one another, their arms around the other or holding hands as though they were a normal couple in love. Even Emmett and Peter were oddly civil to one another.

"Dance with me?" Jasper asked as I fell back into my seat after another round of photographs with Izzy and the rest of the family.

"Would you be offended if I said no?" I laughed, wiggling my toes in my shoes to get the blood circulating back to them.

"I would be heartbroken."

"Then I guess I need to say yes," I giggled, slipping my hand in his so he could pull me to my feet and onto the dance floor where the lights were swirling in time to the music. We danced playfully, him swirling me on the spot and dipping me as we moved to the beat. He kissed me occasionally when he was sure no one was looking and still managed to make it look like part of the dance, even when I did blush.

"Can I cut in?"

"Masen, be my guest. But watch your toes, this girls out for injury with those heels."

I slapped Jasper on the arm but never got a chance to react. Edward laughed playfully and caught me as Jasper twirled me in his direction.

"I'll get us something to drink, Bella."

"Thank you," I sang, laughing, trying not to think about whose warm hands were currently on my bare back, whose breath was moving the light hairs at the back of my neck.

What the hell was I doing, thinking about him in this capacity? He was Rosalie's boyfriend.

"You look beautiful," he whispered. His body was so close to mine, all I could feel was him. He was just being kind, he was trying to be friendly and here I was, blushing like I had been asked to strip naked. This was mortifying. I had to get a grip.

"Thank you," I choked, trying to gain composure just as the music changed to a slower beat.

He pulled my body against his with the hand that was still on my back, forcing my cheek to rest against his shoulder.

"You weren't at the table on Thursday."

"No, Angela and I had a project to work on so we set up guidelines at lunch," I lied.

"Overachiever," he teased in response, moving us in a circle with small steps. "You realize you have a week for shit like that right?"

"Yeah, but once it's done we don't have to worry about it anymore."

He laughed and pulled back from me, his emerald eyes searching mine for something before he pulled me back against his chest and moved us around again. My eyes caught our table, and I couldn't help but notice the looks on both Jasper's and Rosalie's faces. I couldn't place the emotion on Rosalie's, but Jasper looked almost dubious about the whole situation.

"Hey, can I cut in?" Peter asked from behind me. It was starting to feel like a wedding. I knew it was customary to pass the bride around, but was this normal for birthdays?

"Sure," Edward answered, his voice holding no emotion as he placed the hand of mine he was holding into Peter's. "Thanks for the dance, Bella."

"Thank you." I smiled, my other arm wrapping hesitantly around Peter's back as he pulled me to him.

I didn't turn to watch him leave because I knew I was being watched and scrutinized by everyone in the room. I didn't even pull back from Peter like I wanted to; I was sure it would give away my cautious reaction to my step brother.

"You're looking good tonight, Bella."

"Thanks, Peter," I answered lightly, trying not to cringe at the tone of his voice. It brought back too many memories of the night I saw him and Izzy together in her bed. His hand on my back was enough, it was like a branding iron, burning the skin there as his fingers stroked my bare back more intimately than I liked.

"Bells," Emmett said from behind Peter, his hand outstretched for mine. "It's time for presents."

I could have hugged him for his timing. Could he see how uncomfortable I was? I knew that he had a better read on me than anyone else in the room. My discomfort would be obvious to him. I took his hand happily and gave Peter a small nod in thanks as Emmett guided me toward where Izzy, Tanya and dad had gathered.

"Thanks, Em."

"Knowing one another well comes in handy sometimes," he chuckled, releasing my hand as we stepped up next to the rest of the family, followed closely by Peter.

Carlisle had a microphone, which scared me half to death, and I could see that this amused Jasper and the others as they grinned at me from the table at the back of the room.

Bastards. I was horrified.

"Ladies and gents, could I have your attention please," dad said into the mic, effectively silencing the room and drawing all eyes on us. I could physically feel all the blood rushing from my face. My whole head throbbed with anxiety. "As you know, my other daughter, and Elizabeth's twin, Isabella, came home to stay with us this past summer. It's definitely been an interesting adjustment period."

The whole room chuckled at the comment, and I could see Jasper leaning into the table to say something. Staring at them wasn't helping matters.

"That being said," dad continued on, "we're happy to have the two of them celebrating their seventeenth birthday together. Now before we open the presents, I would like you all to raise your glasses in a toast."

The crowd did as he asked and raised their glasses to us.

"To the girls' seventeenth birthday, may they share many more together."

I barely heard the crowd repeating the gesture because my head snapped to our dad in surprise just as the camera flashed. Standing on the other side of him, I noticed that Izzy had reacted the same way, which I could only imagine would make for an interesting picture.

"You girls ready?" dad asked, handing the microphone to a guy who approached.

"Yes," Izzy squealed, while I simply nodded and forced a smile.

He took both of our hands and lead us toward the door and then onward to the entrance of the hotel. I could hear people following us out, which only served to terrify me even further. I watched television, I knew what normally followed things like this, and I hadn't dreamed for a moment that this would be my seventeenth birthday present, let alone the first birthday with the family, just over a month after I moved in.

"Happy birthday, girls," dad said proudly, releasing both of our hands.

Izzy was gone in an instant, her ear-piercing squeal almost making my ears bleed as the crowd that was behind us laughed and chortled at her reaction. I was frozen on the spot. I just didn't know how to react. My whole body was frozen to the spot, rendering me unable to move even if I'd wanted to.

"Bella?" dad asked, a smile evident in his voice.

"Hmm," I answered, unable to produce anything more articulate.

"Are you okay?"

"Hmm," I repeated.

"It's yours sweetheart, go and check it out."

"It's okay, Carlisle, we've got this," Emmett laughed, his hands pushing my back so I stumbled forward. I kept moving toward the huge red bow and the tag with my name in calligraphic ink. I waited until I was out of ear shot to react further.

"Emmett, he got me a car."

"Yes, and it's a very pretty car."

"It is, but it's also entirely too much."

"Bella," Emmett sighed, stepping up next to me rather than pushing. "I know it seems like a lot to take in, and I know how you are about gifts, but he's been so worried about this. This is the first birthday he's had a chance to make up for lost time. It's not going to be like this every year, but he thought this was special."

"It is special, Emmett."

"Then show him," Emmett whispered.

I swallowed, knowing that my shock wasn't really helping in this situation. I turned around and propelled myself at my dad, my arms tangling around his neck as the tears rolled down my cheeks. Once again the crowd aw'd around us but I ignored them.

"Thank you, dad. Really, thank you, I love it."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. The keys are inside. Go take it for a spin."

"Thank you, thank you," I giggled and ran back to the car where Emmett and the others already had the door open waiting for me. I slid inside the sleek, silver car and took a deep breath, enjoying the new car smell I'd only ever smelled once in my life and that was when Charlie had bought his new pick up to drive home. Mixed with the leather, it almost made me light headed.

Jasper slid into the passenger seat with a huge smile. Emmett pushed the door closed and told me not to be long as he pulled the bow from the car and tapped the top, letting me know it was safe to go.

"Where are you taking me?" Jasper asked as I pulled away from the curb, almost purring as the engine growled below me and pulled away with ease.

"Somewhere I can do something I've wanted to do all night."

"And what's that, Miss Swan?"

"You'll see," I giggled.

I managed to drive a couple blocks before the adrenaline kicked in and ate me alive. I pulled into a high-rise parking lot and pulled into an empty spot, unclicking my belt and almost diving over the console to press my lips against Jasper's.

My whole body exploded in the excitement of the new gift, mixed with the anxiety of the party and the usual need when kissing Jasper. His left arm cradled me against his body and his right hand curled around the back of my neck as he always did when kissing me.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but by the time I pulled away, I was fighting for air, and my body was tensing and relaxing, so far beyond my control I could barely even think.

"Damn," Jasper panted as I slid into my seat and stroked the steering wheel gently.

"Yeah," I said, taking a huge breath and smoothing down my dress.

"You wanna come over and hang out after the party?"

"Yes."

"You wanna think about it?"

"What's there to think about?" I laughed, turning my head and looking at him.

"Fair enough."

I drove us back to the party, letting the valet take my car and hand me the little stub so I could pick it up at the end of the night. I had no idea if Izzy was back or not, and I didn't really care; I was still entirely too elated to pay much attention to anything other than this insatiable excitement that seemed to run around my body like an electrical current.

The moment we were back in the ballroom, I danced toward dad and gave him another hug.

I danced the rest of the night with Jasper, my arm around his neck, laughing as we made up stupid dance moves and attempted to swing dance to a slow song. If Leah had been there, I knew the night would have been perfect. I hoped everything was okay with her, she'd had to take her paw-paw to the hospital again, and I knew how much of a toll that took on her.

We opened the rest of our presents the moment Izzy got back, and before long, people started filtering out, leaving just the family and small groups of friends hanging around. Dad let us go soon after and gave us the freedom to stay out as long as we were sensible.

Unfortunately, our plan to be alone at Jasper's was thwarted, as everyone seemed to agree to meet there to continue the party. We stayed awake for hours, playing pool and dancing. Everyone was drinking except Jasper and me. Jasper had taken it upon himself to be the sober buddy.

Before long, people started passing out. Emmett and Rosalie were top and tail on the couch, Edward was passed out on the pool table, and Peter and Ben were on the floor—one in the kitchen, and one under the pool table, leaving Jasper and I laughing at them.

"Wanna crash in my bed? We seem to be out of room in here."

"You don't mind?"

"No, I have a real comfortable couch in there I can take."

I nodded my ascent, and he took my hand, gently tugging on it so I would follow him. We ran through the back yard and into the house, trying to keep our giggles to a minimum so we wouldn't wake anyone up. I was still so wide awake from the evening that the thought of being alone with him had my toes curling in the shoes I was wearing before I peeled them off to cross the tiled floor of Jasper's foyer.

The moment we stepped into his room I gasped. Take away all of the junk he had dumped around the space, it was an amazing bedroom. The low bed was sitting on a rug that matched the comforter, the couch he'd referred to was a mixture of metal, wood and leather and it fit the modern feel of the art and clean lines of everything else in the room. It was amazing.

"This is your room?" I giggled, my arms wrapping around his neck as I pushed up on the balls of my feet to kiss him.

"Yeah, what's so funny?"

"I dunno, it's just with the car and your personality, I never figured you as the art deco type."

"I'm not," he smirked, his lips pressing against mine as his arms tightened around my waist, bowing my body against his. "But god forbid Tanya Cullen one-ups mother. This room is the result of your room."

"Are you serious?" I laughed as his lips moved down over my neck, sending shivers down my spine and tiny pops of electricity to dance around my stomach.

"Mmm hmm," he hummed against my skin, walking me toward the bed, his strong arms pulling me easily up his body, making it easy for me to wrap my legs around his waist.

"I like it," I breathed, my hands tangling in his hair as he sucked gently on the skin behind my ear.

"I knew you would," he growled, his teeth grazing against my skin, making my hips rock so I ground myself against him. "Careful, Bella. I'm not sure how much I can take before you drive me completely insane. That stunt you pulled in the car almost did me in."

"I'm sorry," I mewed breathlessly, rocking my hips more deliberately this time.

His lips found mine, his teeth sinking into the flesh around my bottom lip before releasing it with a pop. Both of us fell deeper into the kiss, my body rising so I was slightly taller than he was, his head bent back as my fingers tangled into the blond curls at the back of his head and tugged gently.

His hands grabbed my ass as he lowered me to my back on the bed before releasing me and climbing over me so he could find my lips again. His body fit easily between my legs as he slid up my body. He leaned on his forearms, his hands tangling in my hair as his lips pressed against mine with more fervor than we'd ever had before.

Both of us committed ourselves to the moment, whines and groans falling from our lips as our bodies writhed against the other. My dress rode up my thighs, but I ignored it, the feeling of him rubbing against me so I could feel him was too sensual to stop now.

He rocked forward so I could feel the length of him create friction against my underwear. His lips moved from mine and down my throat to my chest where he kissed along the neckline of the dress I was still wearing. His tongue would jump out to taste me periodically, making me moan gently around the finger I was biting to keep myself quiet.

Rather than moving the fabric of the dress, his teeth found my already aroused nipple through the material, biting down so my body arched from the bed, pushing against him in all the right places. He touched me everywhere as his lips found mine again, his body was held up only by his knees as he knelt between my thighs.

Then his hands gripped my calves, pulling them gently over his hips as he nuzzled my neck reverently. His hand continued up my legs, up over my thighs, squeezing in time with the nibbles at my neck. It wasn't until he was fingering the fabric of my panties on my hips that I realized this was the last chance to be honest with him.

"Jasper?"

"Mmm?" he hummed, his fingers running along the skin just under the material, making me moan his name rather than saying it. I tried to fight the haze of lust that rolled through my body with the sensation.

"I need to tell you something."

He kissed the skin on my neck once, then twice, before pulling back to find my eyes with his. "What is it, baby?"

I took a deep breath and put one of my forearms over my eyes, hiding my face from him. I knew it was nothing to be ashamed of, but I still thought he had a right to know.

"Bells, what's going on?"

"I have no idea what I'm doing? I've never . . . I mean, I'm a . . ."

Stupid word.

"Bella, are you saying you're still a virgin?"

I nodded, not moving the arm from my face so he couldn't see my embarrassment.

"Why are you hiding?"

I shook my head.

"Bella," he laughed, tugging my arm from my face so he could see me. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

"I know, but it's killed the mood," I sighed, gripping the collar of his shirt and pulling myself up to a sitting position, both of my bare legs on either side of him.

"I can't deny that, but Bella—I can't believe I'm going to say this—maybe it's better this way."

I could feel the frown forming on my forehead. The feeling I'd been getting from us touching like that was too much to give up. Had I been doing it wrong? Was I bad at it?

Jasper's fingers moved from my leg and smoothed out the frown on my forehead. "It's not that I don't want to, Bella. God knows I would love to, but I would feel like shit if I took that from you. We're not even dating, this is casual, and your first time should be something amazing, with someone you love."

I bowed my head and let it rest on his shoulder. I was hiding my embarrassment and the pain of rejection. I wasn't going back on our agreement, and I knew that I was being silly, but I couldn't fight the overwhelming emotion.

"You're not crying are you?"

"No," I snorted, lifting my head and looking at him. "Just a little embarrassed."

"Why?"

I looked away from his deep blue eyes, unable to voice what was going on in my head. I hated that I was frozen by fear in this one moment, when I was with someone I could trust.

"Bella, please don't do that. If you hide shit, things are going to get weird between us, and I don't want that."

I groaned and looked at him in the eyes. "I can't help thinking things would have been better off if I had kept my mouth shut."

"No." Jasper wrapped both of his arms around me and pulled me against his chest, his nose nuzzling into my neck. "I'm glad you told me the truth. I think it would have made me feel like an asshole if we'd continued and . . . you know."

I nodded, my fingers running through his hair. I knew he was right, but I had to get what was in my mind out. I should have mentioned it earlier. I should have said something long before now, but I didn't want to sound presumptuous.

"You could give me head."

I pulled back and looked at him with my mouth open, my lips curled into a smile. He wiggled his eyebrows.

"We could call it a learning experience," he laughed, kissing the end of my nose and rolling onto the bed with me in his arms. "I'm playing, beautiful."

"No you're not," I laughed, my hand moving down between us and grabbing him through his pants. "And who said I needed teaching?"

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**A/N: Hmm, knowing the divide and knowing how many people want the Edward connection to take off, I'm wondering whether I should hide. Haha! I know this will go either way, so I may hide anyway!**

**Bella and Jasper are close, but Jasper was a gentleman. I know it may seem odd that they went ahead and did something else anyway, but they're teenagers driven by hormones and I think Jasper showed a lot of restraint stopping it where he did.**

**Thank you as always to my wonderful beta, Annabanana, she's amazing and really makes my writing look so much better with the grammar and punctuation.**

**Thank you also to Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99 for keeping me sane. They are the best. I would also like to thank Newmoonaholic, who is sporktacular and gave me a readers feedback on the chapter!  
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**As always an amazingly huge and love filled thank you to the reviewers. Every week you guys knock me on my butt with your kind words, theories and questions. You get my mind working and keep me on my toes when trying to answer said questions without giving away too much . . . sometimes I fail haha! Love you guys! Thank you for being amazing!**

**Much love and Ginormous Hugs ~Weezy~**


	22. Persona Grata

_**All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, a couple of smaller plot points were inspired by V., and the rest is from my odd imagination. Happy Tuesday!**_

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**Persona Grata**

_When Breathing's a burden we all have to bear  
And trust is one thing we're taught never to share  
_Somehow you just seem to shine  
When loving means breaking and saying goodbye  
**_Wonder by Megan McCauley_**

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I could feel the warmth surrounding me and the memories came flooding back, putting a smile on my face. Jasper was more amazing than I ever gave him credit for. He was a gentleman, not giving me any leeway when it was something he didn't believe in. He wanted me to experience that for the first time through love, and now I had slept on it, I agreed with him.

I didn't know what had brought me to that point last night; I had been so lost in the moment, so sure that I was ready for that with him. If I really thought about what he'd said about it changing our relationship, I knew he was right. I knew that it would form a bond between us that I would be reluctant to give up.

I tried not to disturb him as I looked over at the clock, but the slight movement had his eyes fluttering open. The disorientation only seemed to last for a second as they finally focused, and then he smiled. A warm satisfied smile that was filled with affection.

"Morning, beautiful."

"Good morning." I smiled, snuggling back against his chest, forgetting the clock and the reason I was looking for it.

"How did you sleep?"

"Good and you?" I asked, giggling at the formality of the statement. It seemed odd considering what we'd done last night.

"Fucking awesome. I don't know where you learned how to do that, you still not talking?"

I shook my head and smiled. There was no way in hell I was telling him that Leah had taught me that shit on fruit. She and Jacob were close enough to tell the other what was good and what wasn't. They liked to do new things and find new things, and thinking about that was killing the mood, especially with Jasper's hand on my stomach, warm over the shorts he'd loaned me. Still, he could think what he liked, but I would never tell him that it was my first time doing that. He could live in disillusion.

"Fine, I'll ask Leah."

"What?" I asked, spinning in his arms so I was facing him. "No, you wouldn't."

"No I wouldn't," he laughed, pulling me closer to him so our legs tangled together. "But your reaction tells me that she knows."

"She does, she's my best friend. She'd never tell though."

Jasper laughed and nuzzled into my neck breathing me in. His hands, now on my back, dipped below the waist of the shorts, making me squeak and arch into him. Effectively making him groan again.

"Sorry," I whispered and kissed the tip of his nose, making sure to hold my breath. "You caught me off guard."

"That's one way of putting it," he laughed, his lips brushing over my collarbone. He rolled onto his back and out of the bed completely, heading toward the bathroom. He was wearing shorts, but I couldn't help but stare at the muscles that seemed to ripple in his back as he stretched before disappearing through the door.

I fell onto the bed, flat on my back, and silently had a victory dance. Last night, for the first time in my life I had experienced ecstasy, and amazingly enough, it was with minimal physical contact. Something I didn't even know was possible. I didn't even know how to explain it, it just happened.

I stilled myself and put my arms over my eyes, unable to stop the stupid smile on my lips.

"Bella?"

I sat up in the bed too quickly, giving myself a head rush that brought my hand slapping to my forehead to ease the feeling. I took a deep breath before I looked at the face at the door. Emmett's eyes were wide as he tried not to look directly at me.

"You dressed?"

"Yeah, fully. Why?"

Emmett relaxed and stepped inside, his eyes darting to the bathroom door and back to me.

"You didn't?" he whispered, his voice almost pleading.

"What?" I asked, my voice barely audible.

"Are you still in possession of your V card or will I have to kick my friend's ass?" he asked, his voice still a whisper but breaking in points.

"Emmett!" I hissed under my breath, my cheeks flaming with embarrassment.

"What? You're my sister, Bella. I'm all about your virtue," he whispered hurriedly. "Well?"

"Still in possession and that's the only answer you're getting." This was mortifying and I couldn't believe I was giving him an actual answer. I loved Emmett, but this was none of his business, virtue or not.

"Oh thank fuck for that. I really didn't want to kick Jasper's ass. I just came to find you; your dad said you're not answering your phone. Apparently, you had a visitor this morning."

"What? Who?"

"James Webber. He was heading back to school and wanted to take you out for a coffee first."

"Weird." Why was James coming to our house and making assumptions about me even wanting to go for coffee with him? I mean, he was a nice enough guy, but I hadn't led him to believe that we were in any way friends; I wouldn't have said we were close enough for coffee either.

"Emmett?" Jasper said, stepping back in the room, his bare chest distracting me again.

"Message for Bella and she promised someone she was going to visit today."

"Shit, Leah," I squeaked, rolling out of bed and picking up my dress. I slid my shoes on and made my way around the bed to kiss Jasper on the lips. "I'll call you later."

"You'd better," he laughed, slapping me on the ass as I turned to leave.

"Bye, Em," I sang, hopping out of the room on the stupid heels. Hoping he wouldn't give Jasper the third degree and get more out of him than he had from me. It was bad enough I was forced to answer the questions.

I managed to make it home and change before ten. I knew it would be a short visit, but I hadn't seen Sue or Seth in a while and I missed them. I figured a couple hours with them would be enough time to visit and eat before I had to come home and get ready for Monday. It would also give me a chance to drive my car, which I hadn't done much of since I had parked it as soon as I was out of view.

The G37 rode like it was on rails, and I finally understood why Peter drove the way he did. It was smooth and the radio worked like a dream, so I was able to play the music I wanted to listen to after I figured out how to attach my iPod to it. I had the windows open and sang most of the way there, the smile on my face not faltering once.

It wasn't until I stopped for a soda at a small gas station that I felt discomfort at being alone. When I got back into my vehicle, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end as the feeling of being watched overtook me. The only way I could describe it was knowing that there were eyes on me, it was like being in a room full of people and picking out the one person who knew you'd entered. It wasn't a thrill though; it was almost a violation.

I started the engine and pulled away, never losing the feeling once as I continued on.

I must have checked my mirrors a dozen times as I finished the journey. I still sang and I still enjoyed the drive, but it was tainted with the paranoia that someone was watching me, even when there wasn't another car on the road for miles.

The moment I pulled up into the small community, I laid on the horn and parked outside of the Clearwater house. I hopped out and leaned against the car casually, a smile on my face as I waited for someone to appear. I could have sworn I heard an engine heading up the dirt road, but as I turned around, I was almost deafened by the squeal of my best friend, who instantly had all of my attention.

"Are you telling me this is yours?" she shouted, hopping down from the porch and dancing toward me. Her arms circled my neck for a split second before she stepped back to admire the pristine body of the Infiniti.

"It is. Dad gave it to me last night. It's my seventeenth birthday present. Izzy got a BMW, but I love this so much more. It's almost as though he's taking the time to get to know me."

"With a little help from Emmett," Leah laughed, opening the door and climbing in.

"That too," I agreed, crouching next to where she was seated.

"Bella?" Sue called from the door, and I stood up and jogged to her, taking two steps at a time before throwing my arms around her. I didn't realize just how much I'd missed her until now.

"Sue, I missed you."

"I missed you too, how are things going?"

"Good," I answered honestly, stepping back and looking at her. "I'm so sorry for worrying you like that. Honestly, you have nothing to worry about. I learned my lesson."

"Well, Leah explained most of that to me. I had no idea things were so difficult there. It sounds like you have quite a handful, but it's no excuse for your behavior."

"I know."

"So your father bought you a vehicle for your birthday?" she asked, a slight tone of disapproval in her voice. I knew her well enough to figure out her anxieties about the situation.

"Yeah, but I think he had already planned Izzy's present in advance. I mean I'm not being ungrateful, it's an amazing present, but I think he figured, being twins, he needed to keep things fair."

"Like you're complaining," Leah teased from the car. "This is insane."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. She was right. Whatever the reasoning was behind the gift, it really didn't matter because I loved it.

Leah and I went for a drive while Sue cooked us all a late lunch. I told her everything about the party and went on to tell her about the experience with Jasper after that. She almost deafened me with her squeal of delight, and when I explained Jasper's thoughts on being in love the first time, she, much like me, had so much more respect for him.

She still asked for a play by play though, and I found myself giggling like a schoolgirl as I went into detail without sharing too much.

Seth and Jacob were both working at the small garage close to town, and when we pulled up, I could almost hear their jaws drop with awe. It seemed the motor-heads approved of my gift almost as much as I did.

After two or three engine inspections and fondling of auto parts, we finally managed to head back home.

They followed us back to Leah's house and we had lunch, talking about all of my friends and the party. Seth had so many questions—he still hadn't been allowed to come and visit me, so he knew nobody—and all the talk about Jasper seemed to raise more. By the time I had to leave, Leah and he were arguing about what friend meant. An argument I chose to stay out of, especially considering the extended benefits package we'd explored last night.

It was nice being here, back where there was no one to avoid or worry about insulting. It was so easy to just sit on the porch and swing as we talked about everything we'd missed while being apart. The lazy late summer afternoon was exactly what I needed, and I felt more at home here than I ever had in the city, except when I was with my dad in his office talking. Those were the moments I stayed for, those and the afternoons with Emmett, getting my ass kicked on whatever video game he was into. Jasper and I hanging out while I wiped the floor playing pool and then making out all afternoon on the couch in the game room.

My friends and dad were the only reason I stayed, but even then, I missed this. I missed feeling at home. I had to persevere though; as much as I missed my family, I needed to do this for me. I had promised dad that I would give him a chance—if I ever felt like leaving, that I would give him warning. I couldn't just move because I longed for where I grew up. It would be unfair to him and every one of my friends that cared about me.

So I made myself a promise. If I was still determined to leave by the time next summer rolled around, I would come back and go through senior year with my best friends in the climate I felt most comfortable in.

I left them as the sun was meeting the horizon, casting the usual burnt orange glow across the sky. Having a car would make it so much easier to come home more often, and I planned on using the advantage as much as I could without it seeming rude. Goodbye really didn't seem that bad now I knew I had the means to get here when I wanted to.

I took off towards New Orleans with a lighter heart and a more relaxed attitude. Whatever feeling had been plaguing me earlier was now gone.

~oOo~

The week passed by quickly; I still rode with Emmett to school in the mornings, and I rode home with Jasper after school. Jasper and I still made out a lot, but there was no repeat of the night of the party. I didn't feel rejected or hurt by the cooling of our actions because we were still the same as ever when it came to conversations and situations. In fact, it was easier. It was like all of the sexual tension that had built up between us had been vacuumed out and we were just us again.

Peter started spending more and more time with us after school. He was avoiding his mother because his dad was still out of town with his girlfriend, so hanging out with Jasper was his only out. Especially considering Tanya was spending more time at the house as well. Most of us seemed to steer clear.

Peter, although creepy as ever, wasn't as bad as I initially believed him to be. He still took cheap shots, trying to look down my shirt, and made comments that made my skin crawl, but once he dropped the issue—he was actually quite funny. There was still no way in hell I would be left alone in a room with him though, not after what I'd seen that night.

Edward, well he was still as unusual as ever. He was so kind and talkative when we found ourselves alone together, but the moment someone else showed up, he was right back into the moody and mysterious mindset he'd been in since I first met him. I never saw him alone with Rosalie, and if I was being honest, they barely spoke anymore.

Izzy and her vapid twit of a friend gave us a wide berth. Whatever dad had said to her was still sticking, but Jessica didn't seem to care and would throw comments at me whenever we found ourselves alone in a corridor.

Angela and I hung out a lot when I wasn't with Jasper. She was so shy in front of everyone else, but if it was just she and I, we would be laughing and telling stories without inhibition. One thing I did discover, after days of nagging, was that she had a crush on Emmett. Which explained her closing up like a clam when he was in a hundred feet of her.

She'd invited me to her house this weekend because her parents were out of town and her brother was at school and she didn't want to be alone. After a little mocking, I agreed and told her I would gladly keep her company. I was due over there Friday at about nine.

Friday evening, Rosalie and I went to dinner alone. It was her suggestion; we'd been getting along better than ever since she'd helped me find something to wear to the party last weekend. We'd even had lunch in the middle of the track field one afternoon, just so we could get away from everyone and tan while eating.

I met her at the restaurant, and slid into the chair opposite her, noticing that she looked upset.

"Rose?"

"Hey, Bella. I ordered you a coke," she said, her fingers playing with the silverware awkwardly as she refused to look me in the eye.

"Thanks. Is everything okay?"

Rosalie nodded at first, her blonde hair bouncing around her shoulders, it soon turned to shaking though, her head bowing even further forward as she tried to hide from me. I really didn't know what to do. So I waited while she composed herself.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked quietly after the waiter had dropped our drinks off and offered to come back in a while.

"Edward broke up with me."

"What? When? Why?"

She looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes. "I feel so stupid, Bella. It was three weeks ago, and the worst thing is, I'm not even as upset about it as I should be."

"Three weeks ago?"

"I know," she sighed, putting her elbows on the table and looking at me as her chin came to rest in her hands. "I should have said something earlier, I just didn't know how. Then I got all jealous and God it's such a mess."

"Jealous? Rosalie, I'm sorry, I don't think I'm following you. I understand you're upset, but why don't you start at the beginning?"

"You know how Edward and I met right?" she asked, taking a sip of her coke, before placing it back on the table.

"You had a class together and got to talking?"

"Talking isn't exactly the word I'd use, but yeah." She grinned. "Edward has a history of being obnoxious to girls he likes. Now don't get me wrong, he is an asshole to Izzy because he hates her, but with me, it was more antagonistic. I had all of my AP classes with him up until lunch, and after I called him an asshole, he decided to ask me out on a date. Of course, I said yes."

"Really, after he antagonized you like that?"

"Yeah, it was ridiculous, but nothing he said was really all that hateful, he was just trying to get a rise out of me. Anyway, he took me to the cafeteria and Peter was Peter, Jasper was his normal self, and Ben was too involved with his girlfriend at the time to even notice. Emmett was this life of the party that welcomed me into their circle with open arms."

She looked down at the centerpiece on the table and fiddled with the leaves of the flowers with her free hand.

"After my first date with Edward, he was all I paid attention to for the longest time and things were just normal. We would sneak off to the pool when no one was looking and make out before his swim practice—we were always together and we were happy. Then the arguments started. You have to understand that Edward and I are alike in many ways and we clashed. I mean we would argue about what color my shirt was, it was ridiculous. We got into such a bad fight one night, we were in his car just screaming at one another. We broke up and he drove off, he was so angry with me. We didn't speak for weeks, and I ended up spending a lot of time with Emmett. Bella, I swear we never did anything but talk, but I couldn't stop myself from seeing everything I wanted in him. God I sound like a bitch."

"No, you don't. I know what you mean, Rosalie. You were hurt and there was this guy treating you like you were the most precious thing on the face of the planet. It probably wasn't intentional, but when you're drawn to someone, there's nothing you can do about it."

"How do you know that?"

"Call it a hunch," I sighed, offering her a weak smile. I couldn't tell her that Emmett and I had talked about it or that I had seen it first-hand every time they interacted. It really didn't seem fair.

"Edward and I talked about things, and we decided to try and make it work because we missed one another. So for the last two months, we've been trying to iron things out, but it was strained. When we were alone, it was like two friends just hanging out and talking. When he started to react to you the way he did, I knew what that meant."

"You what?" I asked, sitting back and staring at her.

"Calm down." Rosalie laughed lightly, her hands folding on the table in front of her. "Let's order and I will explain."

I nodded and followed her lead as she caught our waiter's attention. We both ordered greasy food on a whim and grinned at one another.

"I am so glad you're not one of those chicks that eats rabbit food," Rosalie laughed, getting comfortable in her chair again.

"I like my food to taste like something. I grew up with flavorful food, most of it able to set your mouth on fire."

"Oh, I love that stuff. You'll have to take me home with you so I can try it. I miss my mom's cooking, she used to kick ass at gumbo and jambalaya; now all we seem to do is go out. I can't lie, I love having money, I just hate the laziness that comes with it. At least my mom's laziness."

I smiled but I couldn't help anticipating the continuation of her speech. I didn't understand what she'd meant by Edward reacting to me. I think I'd been aware of her attraction to Emmett from the day I met her, but I just hadn't put much stock into it once she explained she was dating Edward. This explanation of Edward reacting to me just went over my head. He barely spoke to me.

"Right, anyway the party. I should probably explain to you what that was about. Edward felt bad about acting that way toward you. I gave him a hard time and explained that you're nothing like your sister and he really didn't believe me at all. As the night went on and you and Jasper flirted and Emmett teased you, you reacted to both of them the way you always do. I caught Edward watching you and smiling, and I found myself . . . Bella, I was jealous as all hell. I have to say it. I don't think he's ever looked at me like that."

"I don't understand."

"All of the antagonistic comments at lunch, the avoiding you every chance he got, the making out with me whenever you were in the room. Bella he likes you, and he has no idea how to deal with that. First off, you look like Izzy, who he hates; second, he was with me and he would never want to hurt me like that. I know he can give off this persona of being an asshole, but he is a good guy. I love him with everything I am, but I don't think I've ever been in love with him. Even when I was seething with jealousy, I knew that I had to stop fighting. Then he breaks up with me, and do you know what he says to me?"

I shook my head, I couldn't even think, so guessing was way beyond my brain's capacity right now. Nothing Rose was saying made sense at all. Edward and I barely spoke. Was it his way of letting her go? I couldn't really say I liked being a pawn in that game.

"He said, and I quote, 'don't break Emmett's heart. He's a good guy.' Then he walked away. Didn't even give me time to react. Just off he went all moody and brooding. I didn't understand, I have been so confused Bella. So confused, but we finally had a chance to talk, and he told me that he knew how I felt about Emmett and that he knew Emmett felt the same way and that he won't stop us from getting together. So I called him out about you."

"Me?" I swallowed, my eyes wide as I contemplated beating my forehead against the table. "Rosalie, I really think you're mistaken. I mean he's stopped with the comments but I really don't talk to him that often and I think . . ."

"Bella," Rosalie laughed stopping my incoherent mumbling.

"Yes?"

"Calm down," she laughed, sliding into the seat next to me. "Believe me, I know Edward almost as well as Emmett does, better in some cases. I'm not wrong about this. I wouldn't expect much if I were you though, he knows you and Jasper have something. I just wanted you to understand how I got to where I am and ask your advice."

"About what?" I asked, confused.

"What do you think I should do about Emmett? I like him, Bella. Edward wasn't wrong about that."

I thought about it. I knew how Emmett felt about Rosalie, but I also knew that he would never do anything to jeopardize his friendship with Edward. Had Edward given Emmett the same speech?

"I know Emmett is loyal to Edward, but I also know he likes you. I think you probably need to talk to him about everything. It's the only way you'll know. If you try and act on your emotions without explaining anything to him, he may see it as a betrayal to Edward."

"That's what I thought," she sighed, sitting back so the waiter could put the plate in front of her. "I just, it's so weird to even think about being with Em. I've known him for so long, but he's been untouchable and I don't know how to get around that mentality, because I really want to."

"Just spend some time with him, talk to him about what Edward said, and then go on as normal until you're ready for something more. I'm sure once you both have it put in the open it will be easier."

"I guess you're right. Bella, I'm sorry I loaded all this on you, but you and Angela are my only close female friends, and I know Angela has a thing for Emmett."

"She told you that?"

Rosalie nodded and grinned. "Only after she freaked out when he came close to us."

"That's how I found out too," I laughed. "She kept darting off into the nearest classroom so she didn't have to talk to him. I badgered her for days about that."

"I'm a terrible friend," Rosalie sighed, picking up her fork. "I know how she feels and I'm still going after him."

"Rose, I'm going over there tonight, let me talk to her and try and clear the whole thing up."

"Thanks, Bells. I'm sorry I laid all this on you."

"Don't be silly. That's what friends are for."

We talked while we ate, Rosalie trying to figure out how to do this without rubbing it in Edward's face and how to stop it from being weird with Emmett. I was truly happy for her and I knew that Emmett would be happy too once he'd gotten over his reservations about hurting Edward.

I didn't like being used as an excuse, but I thought it was admirable of Edward to let go of Rosalie when he realized it wasn't working and even more admirable for recognizing how she felt about his best friend. Admirable and very twisted. I wasn't sure how I would handle the situation. Just thinking about it made my head hurt.

Rosalie and I went our separate ways after dinner. I drove to Angela's house and knocked on the door. I knew she was probably already freaking out being alone for this long.

"Hey!" She grinned, opening the door and stepping back so I could get in. "Thanks so much for hanging out with me."

"Ange, we're friends. You don't have to thank me for hanging out with you."

She grinned and disappeared back into the house, beckoning for me to follow her.

"So after our conversation in gym, I decided that we are going to have a night full of movies you were shocked I hadn't seen," she laughed, pointing at the table.

"Excellent!" I grinned, grabbing the stack of movies and choosing one. "We have to start with this one, it's imperative that you see this one. Next on the list is a horror."

"I knew I should have left those out," she quipped, grabbing two blankets from a hamper. She put one at one end of the couch for me and kept the other.

By the third movie, we were both in the middle, huddled together under the blankets, hiding our faces as Freddie's claws mangled a perfectly good Johnny Depp. Angela sat next to me squealing as she hid her head.

Just as things went from gory to downright horrific, there was a squeaking from somewhere in the house that froze the two of us in place. We'd left all the lights off and just had the movie playing. My heart hammered it's way up into my throat as we both tried to listen to the sound over the movie.

"Ange," I whispered. "Who else is here?"

"No one," she squeaked, her hands gripping my arm so tightly she was cutting off the blood supply to my hands.

I moved to get up but her death grip pulled me back to the couch and held me in place. She was trembling beside me and I could have sworn she mumbled I'm too young to die. The slamming of the front door made us both jump closer, our hands tangling in front of us as my eyes scanned the room for anything to use in self defense.

"Hello? Mom, Dad, Ange?"

"James you asshole, you scared the shit out of us," Angela shouted, her hands releasing mine as they ran through her hair.

"Why the fuck are you sitting in the dark then?" he asked, then the room flooded with light, making Angela and I blink and squint into the brightness. "Oh, Bella, hi."

"Hey, James," I answered, unable to see a thing as my eyes attempted to adjust. It felt odd to be here now. Angela and I had enough movies to watch all weekend, and now I felt as though I would be intruding by doing so.

"I thought you were staying on campus this weekend?"

"I was, but I changed my mind."

"A phone call would have been nice," Angela sighed beside me, picking up the remote and hitting pause. "I swear you just took five years off my life span."

"What the hell were you watching?"

"_Nightmare on Elm Street_," we said at the same time, laughing.

"No wonder you jumped like you did. Don't let me stop you, but whatever you do . . ."

"Don't fall asleep," I finished, laughing.

James turned off the lights and fell onto the couch next to me as Angela hit play, both of us instinctively leaning into one another again.

By the time we were finished watching movies, it was three in the morning and I could barely keep my eyes open. Angela had already passed out beside me, her head on my shoulder, her breathing long and even. I was fighting it. I didn't want to be rude, but James had been staring at me for the rest of the evening and it was disconcerting to say the least. I forced myself to stay awake until the credits rolled so I could go to my room and lock the door.

I shook Angela awake and gave her a smile as her eyes fluttered open.

"It's three in the morning, you wanna continue this tomorrow?" I asked, hoping that she would say yes. I really didn't have the energy to ignore James anymore. If he continued to stare, I would turn around and very happily ask him what the hell his problem was.

"K," she mumbled sleepily, her body pushing off the couch in almost sleepwalking mode. "Come on, I'll show you your room."

I followed her up the stairs, my hand planted in her back to speed her sleepy form up. I could hear her weak giggles as I continued to push.

"You're in the blue room, next to mine," she yawned, pushing open the door straight ahead of her, and then pointing to the door to the right. "I'm in there."

"Got it," I said, giving her another gentle push forward. "I'm going to get my bag. Do you need anything while I'm down there?"

"Could you get me a bottle of water?"

"I think I can handle that."

"Thank you."

I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen, not bothering with the light considering we'd been sitting in the dark all night. When I opened the refrigerator, it cast a glow over the kitchen and startled me when it highlighted the form next to me.

"For God's sake, James, scaring the shit out of me once isn't enough; you have to do it again?"

"I'm sorry," he laughed, stepping closer to me, making my body rigid with tension. "It's good to see you, Bella. I was hoping we could talk more at the game, but then your friends showed up, my ex showed up, it just didn't work out. I went to your house last weekend before I left, I figured we could have coffee."

"Yeah, sorry about that," I lied, turning around and grabbing two bottles of water. "I stayed the night at a friend's. I should probably head to bed. It was good to see you again, James."

"You too, Bella," he said easily, grabbing a bottle of water and closing the door.

That was kind of the way the rest of the weekend worked. He seemed to stay in with us the whole time, sitting on the other end of the couch. That was until I raced Angela back to it at one point and sat at the other end, leaving her to sit next to her brother.

It was like he was always there, his eyes always wandering over to where I was curled up in the pj's I had worn which I was beginning to regret. The short shorts were only making matters worse. I didn't know how to politely ask him to stop. Had I not promised Angela I would stay, I would have headed home in a heartbeat, but I couldn't do that to her. So on Saturday night I asked Angela if I could invite Jasper over to hang out.

I knew it was unfair of me to do it, but I couldn't help it. I needed some kind of support and it wasn't as though I would disrespect Angela by disappearing with him. She said it was fine and I called him, hoping that he would be free to come hang out, but he was out with Peter so I was stuck with Angela and her brother.

Sunday, I couldn't leave quick enough. I got up early and said goodbye to Angela with an excuse that I had something I needed to do. She mumbled an exculpation for her brother coming home, but I was certain she was apologizing for just that and not his odd staring.

I thought I'd made it out clear without having to talk to him again but he caught me leaving, he'd been in the kitchen making coffee. I almost rolled my eyes when he called my name.

"Leaving so soon?"

"Yeah, I got stuff to do," I said, offering him a smile.

I turned around and unlocked the door. The warmth of the morning sun lapped at my legs when I pulled it open and I could almost smell my freedom.

"Bella."

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to go out on a date sometime?"

I turned around and looked at James. His handsome face was almost pleading, and even though I had been less than polite this weekend, I still felt guilty about rejecting him. Just because I found him annoying didn't mean he deserved to be treated like crap when I turned down his offer for a date. No one deserved to be belittled like that.

"I'm seeing someone, James."

"No problem, maybe some other time."

"I'm sorry, I don't think that's a good idea. Bye, James."

I left it at that and left as quickly as I could. I knew I had been cold this weekend, but after the teasing from Rosalie and Leah at the Tigers game, I didn't want to give him the wrong idea. It was easier to act uninterested and deflect the unwanted attention than continually turn down his offers to go out. It hadn't worked this weekend, he'd been persistent in his interest with me, but perhaps this would make him realize that I wasn't interested and hopefully encourage him to stop asking.

I spent the rest of the day in my room, just enjoying the peace. I hadn't realized just how much he'd really made me feel awkward until I was laid out on my bed, playing my music. I was even considering turning off my phone so I could have the rest of the day off from life and just hibernate.

Thankfully, I only received two calls all day. Jasper, apologizing for not being able to come over, and Leah, who gave me an update on Papaw. He was doing fine and his blood pressure had finally started evening out again so it was good news all around.

I went to bed early and got up easily, finally feeling refreshed and ready for the week ahead.

It was a completely normal day until I ran into Angela, who had been given the task of showing around the new girl. She stepped forward when they stopped to say hello, her smile wide and natural as she analyzed me.

"I'm Alice Brandon, who are you?"

* * *

**A/N: ALICE! Hahahaha, I may have some angry mail today lol, I know I said Alice would be in this chapter and really I wasn't lying . . . it was just not much lol!**

**Thank you to my beta Annabanana, who not only makes my grammar and punctuation better, but also helps out when I have questions about the city in question ;) Thanks chick ;)**

**As always a huge thank you to Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99 for their feedback and their amazing skills of talking me off the ledge. Also to Newmoonaholic for reading through it as well. You're awesome!**

**Top all of you who review, what can I say – You're amazing! Every week you give me more feedback, and keep me smiling. Your questions and theories are so perceptive and your constantly keeping me on my toes. So thank you, and I really do love you guys!**

**Much love and huge hugs ~Weezy~**


	23. Maladjustment

_**All things Twilight belong to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, some inspiration was drawn from the magical mind of V.C. Andrews, and the rest from my strange head! What can I say lol!**_

* * *

**Maladjustment**

_To my watering eyes  
Must be something in the air  
That I'm breathing  
Yes'n I try to ignore  
All this blood on the floor  
It's just this heart on my sleeve that's a bleeding  
**Burn by Ray LaMontagne**_

* * *

Alice had disappeared with Angela almost as quickly as she'd popped up, her bell-like peal following after her as she continued to listen to Angela's description of things. She ended up showing up in my lit class and the teacher found it necessary to move Angela to sit next to Eric so she could help him and Alice was put in the empty space next to me.

Thankfully, it was a discussion on the book we'd just read.

"Is this place as bad as it seems or am I hanging out with the wrong person?" she whispered, pointing at the book as though she were bringing up a topic for conversation.

"It's not so bad. Angela's really sweet, but pretty much keeps to herself."

"Good to know," she laughed, dropping the book and the facade right along with it. "You're a twin right? Ange kinda steered clear of the blonde version of you. The one sitting right over there in fact."

"Yeah, most people avoid her; she's like slow burning acid. Where are you from?"

"Biloxi, dad got transferred. He's in the oil industry, so we do that a lot. How about you?"

"New Iberia, originally, but my dad's family has lived here for generations."

Alice looked over at Izzy and back at me before leaning back in her seat and hiding her mouth to talk to me. She looked unsure about what she was about to say but seemed as though she was going to roll with it regardless.

"Don't hate me for saying this, but I don't see that girl living by the bayou."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. "She didn't. We didn't know the other existed until about a month ago."

"Really? What was that like?" Alice asked, sliding down in her seat and turning so her body was angled toward mine. "I mean, how do you get over that?"

I hadn't really put much thought into that, especially not recently. I just tried to avoid being anywhere near her. We may as well have been complete strangers for all the sisterly behavior we were completely lacking. In fact, that's exactly what we were. The week we'd spent together was a drunken haze, so any conversations we'd actually managed to have were blurred or completely forgotten.

"Well, when your twin is the devil incarnate it's a little testy. I never really had money growing up, and when I found dad, Iz wanted nothing to do with me. She accused me of trying to get at his money . . ."

"And his time," Alice said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Been there. My dad got remarried after mom died, and her daughter, who I call my sister, used to get upset whenever Lynn and I spent time together."

"How did you get over that?" I asked. It wasn't as though I had any hopes of bridging the gap between Izzy and I, but I was still curious.

"We talked it out. Dad was sick of our bickering so he stuck us in a room together and told us to work it out."

There went that curiosity. Being stuck in a room with Izzy was basically my own personal hell. There was no way we could maintain civility for that long while in such close proximity to one another. That would just be asking for trouble.

"Something tells me that wouldn't be a solution for you," Alice laughed, picking up her book and smiling at the teacher as he passed. "It doesn't work for everyone, I guess, but our only differences were territorial, so we managed to make an effort to stop."

"Our problems go way beyond that," I sighed, my eyes finding Izzy's. She was watching Alice and me talk, so when our eyes met, she simply raised her eyebrows in a challenge.

When the bell finally rang, I gathered my things, dawdling like I always did so Izzy had a chance to get the hell away from the room so we wouldn't bump into one another. Angela approached the two of us with a bright smile, her books tucked neatly in her arms.

"You ready for lunch, Alice?"

Alice looked between Angela and me, her confidence evident as she appraised the situation. "Actually Ange, do you mind if I sit with Bella for lunch?"

"Oh, not at all, I actually had to hop to the library first anyway."

"Thanks hun," Alice sang, looping her arm with mine and looking up at me. "Lead the way."

"Ange, why don't you come sit with us today?" I offered, like I did every day. She shook her head and gave me a knowing smile. She turned me down every day because it broke her self-imposed not allowed to be within a hundred feet of Emmett rule.

Which reminded me that I had neglected to talk to her for Rosalie.

"Talk to you later," she sang and disappeared before I had a chance to formulate a tactful way of bringing up the conversation.

"What was that about?" Alice asked, looking back at me for an answer.

"Long story, one that will have to wait for after lunch."

We made our way to the cafeteria, chatting about the people we passed. Having only been here for a couple of months myself, my knowledge was limited, but I offered her as much information as I could, trying to quench her curiosity. She was a lot more confident than I had been on my first day, but I understood her drive for answers.

Unfortunately, we didn't make it to lunch without incident. Izzy and Jessica were standing outside, talking quietly as Mike talked to one of his friends. I almost cringed when I realized this meeting wasn't going to be ignored like every other time we bumped into one another.

"Hey, new girl," Izzy said, her eyes not meeting mine. "You need to be careful who you choose as friends in this place."

"Oh, I was," Alice said easily, not missing a beat. "I wasn't in the mood to chip through the ice to find your vapid personality. Thanks for the heads up though."

"Excuse me?" Jessica said in her nasally tone, her hands finding her hips as Alice and I strode past them.

Alice didn't answer; she simply walked past them with her head held high and a victorious smile on her lips. I, however, fought the urge to laugh at the comment as we passed through the doors into the cafeteria.

"Sorry, I just can't stand the girls that say that. Their delusional self importance gets on my last nerve."

"Don't apologize," I laughed, leading us toward the line. "I don't think I've ever seen Izzy that speechless."

"What about the other one?"

"She's a raging idiot."

"Figures."

Alice and I managed to grab our lunches and make it back to the table without further incident. The moment I reached the table, Jasper pulled me into his lap and stole some of my fries before planting a kiss on my neck.

"Everyone, this is Alice. Alice, this is Ben, Emmett, Rosalie, Peter, Edward and Jasper."

"Hey," she sang, taking the seat next to Jasper and me.

She made it through lunch being quizzed by the others. She answered every question they had with the same open honesty she had with mine. Everyone seemed to accept her as easily as they'd accepted me, and it was nice to have another female friend in the group to even things out.

~oOo~

Within a couple of weeks, it felt as though Alice had been there for years. No one really thought about how little time she'd been there, well, unless Izzy found it time to antagonize us again, but even then, Alice had a quick wit and managed to shut Izzy up.

I divided my time between my family and friends as best I could. Missing Leah had really taken it's toll on me, so we had been alternating every other weekend because she wasn't the only one, or thing I missed about the small town I had grown up in.

I'd thought it would get easier over time. The noticeable absence of certain colloquialisms fading, but they never did. It was as though they were embedded into me like a trait I couldn't rid myself of. The bayou was just as much a part of me as Leah and her family were; they defined me as a person.

This knowledge made it easier for me in some ways. I had come here to find myself, and it was blatantly obvious that a large portion of that was my life before this mess, before I was drawn into ridiculous territorial battles which not only stemmed from the locale, but the attention of the people around us as well.

Trying to find time with dad had been difficult as of late because Izzy seemed to be expecting it. She had been hovering around the house more often than not. Her and her vapid little friends making snide remarks and empty threats. It wasn't even as though I felt threatened. I had no fear when it came to Elizabeth; it was simply caution and vexation at the immaturity of it all.

My lack of repartee hadn't gone unnoticed either. Dad had pulled me aside on one of the rare afternoons my impenitent sister had decided to actually leave the house to do something other than watch me. He pulled me into his office and sat me down, his face holding the smile I still had embedded in my mind from the only photograph I had of him and me.

"I just wanted to say thank you for making an effort to keep the peace. I know it's not easy and I know I don't do much to help with the situation. I'm trying to clear up some of the unresolved things at work and take on a lighter case load so I can be more active in both your lives."

That sounded ominous. If I was being honest I had gotten used to the freedom of being able to do what I wanted. It wasn't like I was a social deviant or anything, but being able to escape the house without alerting anyone to the fact I was leaving was very liberating. I could only imagine how a change like that would affect everyone else in the house.

It wasn't as though I didn't want to spend time with him, because I did. I loved talking to him about his family—I'd managed to discover where the natural curl in my hair had come from, where my tiny toes had originated. Being able to discuss our heritage was something I took a lot of interest in, but another set of eyes watching my every move just didn't sound that appealing.

I didn't even know how to respond to him.

"Okay?" It came out as a question.

"I know I haven't been the most attentive parent, Bella. It's inexcusable. So many things just seem to have slipped through the small fissures, and I feel as though I've let you both down."

"You haven't let me down, Dad. I enjoy my time with you."

The answer was singular because I didn't know if I could say the same for Izzy. I didn't blame him for her behavior or bad attitude because I really didn't believe it was his fault. I just didn't know what she believed, and I refused to speak for her.

"And I you, Bella. I just wish we had more time to spend with one another. I know that things between you and Izzy have calmed down, but they haven't gotten any better either, you simply just ignore each other. You're twins and it breaks my heart to think that there's such a division between the two of you."

"I honestly don't think it will get better for a while, dad. Neither of us is really willing to try, and when we're within a hundred feet of one another, it just gets ugly."

Dad nodded and looked down at his hands that were neatly folded on the desk in front of him. He must have known what a stretch it was to even hope that Izzy and I could reconcile our differences. I was sure that over time we could find it in our best interests to feign interest in the other, but I truly doubted there would ever be the trust that most siblings seemed to naturally develop. Sixteen years was just too big of a gap to even try.

We'd spoken a while longer, but when his pager went off, he left with a quick apology and a kiss to the top of my head, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I'd stayed in the library and attempted to read.

That had been a week ago, and nothing had changed. Just this morning over breakfast, dad had been telling us about a case he'd accepted from a hospital in Baton Rogue. So much for lightening his caseload. Yet, I still couldn't blame him; he was good at what he did and was one of the best pediatric surgeons in the country.

"Hey Bella," Emmett shouted, chasing me down the corridor as I made my way to English. He slid through some freshman and jogged up to meet me where I 'd stopped at the sound of his voice.

"Hey, Em," I greeted him with a smile.

"Glad I caught you. I was hoping you could help me with a little project this weekend."

"What kind of project?"

"I finally got mom to let us make the pool house into more of a friendly space rather than the shit hole storage room it is right now. She wants to decorate it, but we have to get the shit out of there first. She has a storage room, I have the truck, I just need a volunteer to help."

"Me being the volunteer?" I laughed, shuffling my books from one arm to the other.

"Well, you are my partner in crime. Peter's doing his thing—whatever the fuck that is—and there's no fucking way I would ask Izzy, she may break a nail and be traumatized for life."

I rolled my eyes but laughed anyway. It was the truth, Peter had been scarce since his dad had come back from vacation, and Izzy was Izzy. Manual labor had no place in her vocabulary let alone her lifestyle. I really didn't mind helping out, and in reality, it would be nice to have a space to hang out in. I could only imagine that he'd just used the '_but Mrs. Whitlock did it for Jasper_' excuse, which would have set off a frenzy in the competitive nature of outdoing the Joneses.

"Sure, I don't mind."

"See, this is why I love you. We can start tonight and maybe salvage the rest of the weekend by getting it out of the way."

"Sure, sounds like a plan."

Emmett grinned at me, his signature dimples showing his emotion before he nudged me with his elbow and took off in the direction he'd come from. It never ceased to amaze me how easily we got what we wanted from the parental figures we lived with. Dad was a push over; it's the very reason he'd given us our own credit cards, so we wouldn't feel the need to ask. Tanya, well, as long as it was fashion or competition with the other perfect wives, she could be depended on to fold just as easily.

The corridors emptied slowly around me, bringing me out of my thoughts and back into reality. I was late for class, and I still had to get halfway across the school before the bell rang, which would be likely to happen in mere seconds.

I took off at a sprint, making my way toward the English department while trying hard not to trip over my own feet, but something slowed me down. The clatter of my heels against the linoleum floors quieted as the hair on the back of my neck prickled, sending an ice-cold shiver down my spine. It was that feeling again, the same one I'd had driving home to the bayou weeks ago. The feeling of being watched.

I turned around and checked the corridor behind me, but there was no one there. No closing doors, no echoed footfalls from someone disappearing around the corner, nothing. Just an empty space with lockers lining the walls on either side.

I turned around to continue forward, but I couldn't shake the feeling. It was so invasive, my skin pebbled with the increased beat of my heart and the shiver that had been one icy tendril turned into a waterfall, constantly streaming down my spine as the fear prickled and tingled throughout my body.

I sped up again, hoping that being in a class full of people would take away the feeling. My echoed footsteps only seemed to frighten me more though, pushing me faster, leaving a staccato beat behind me. I looked behind me one last time as I reached the corner, trying to find anything that would be following me.

Not looking as I rounded the corner didn't bode well for me. My body collided with something in its path, sending me tumbling to the floor in a move reminiscent of my first day in New Orleans. This cold linoleum didn't feel much better than the hot asphalt that day.

"You seem to spend a lot of time on your ass, Bella," Peter teased, holding out his hand for me to take. "Wasn't this how we met for the first time?"

I took his hand and let him pull me to my feet, my free hand grasping the books I'd been carrying as I went. I really didn't want to bend over to pick them up in the ridiculous skirt we had to wear for school. "It was, but you not stepping over me is progress."

"You had a more flexible skirt on this time," he laughed, his eyes traveling down to my thighs where the material lay.

"That's not creepy," I muttered under my breath, smoothing it out in an attempt to make it longer. I still didn't quite get Peter. He was more secretive than anyone I'd ever met, but he was also open in other aspects. He didn't hide the sexual innuendos; his sexuality was like a badge of honor he flashed to anyone and everyone he met. Even Alice tried to avoid being alone with him, and she hadn't spent much time with him at all.

"So, are you cutting class?"

"No, just late."

"Cut with me," Peter offered, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "We'll go do something fun."

"Not today, I have a paper I need to turn in."

"Over achiever," he laughed, shrugging his shoulders and walking away without so much as a goodbye.

I didn't think I would ever understand him; I didn't think I ever wanted to.

~oOo~

"Bella?"

"Up here, Em," I shouted from the couch in my room. I was online talking to Leah. I had bought her a notebook for her birthday so we could spend more time chatting, and she wouldn't have to go to the public library for a reliable computer. She was in the middle of telling me about what she and Jacob were planning on doing this weekend.

If I was being honest, I was glad of the interruption. I wasn't sure I needed a play-by-play of my best friend's planned sexual explorations.

"Hey, you still up for helping me out tonight?"

"Of course. I turned down an invitation to hang out with Alice and Jasper to help."

"They seem to get along well."

I grinned up at him as I signed off with Leah, promising not to call her tonight but in the morning instead. "They really do."

Emmett laughed once and looked at me curiously. I knew what he was getting at; I could see it in his eyes as he appraised my reaction. Even Rosalie had mentioned it over the past few weeks. I just chose to leave it alone. Sure Jasper and I weren't as touchy feely as we used to be, but we weren't any less close for it.

"Come on then, let's get this done so we can go pick out all the crap we want to put back in there."

"Don't sound so excited about it."

"I was until I realized it had to pass my mother's rigorous standards. We may never get this done."

"So negative, have faith," I laughed, getting up and joining him at the top of the stairs. "You managed to get my room looking good. What makes you think it'll be different?"

"I don't have your dad as an advocate."

I shook my head, laughing as I followed him down the stairs. I understood what he was saying, but if Tanya was in fact trying to outdo Mrs. Whitlock, then she would have to consider the practicality of it for her children, because one look at Jasper's pool house and it was obvious it was catered to his needs.

"Yes, but you have Mrs. Whitlock's pool house for inspiration."

"I knew there was a reason you're my favorite sibling."

"Love you too, Em."

We made our way down to the pool house, talking about the possibilities. It was a two bedroom cottage that was between the garage and the house, and even though Tanya wanted to make one of the bedrooms a guest room, the rest of it was for our use but still had to be functional for any guests that were going to stay there.

Between the two of us, we decided the pool table should go in the other bedroom, and the living room should be set up with deep couches and recliners so it could be used with the game consoles.

"What about the bar?" Emmett asked, holding the back door open for me before following me out.

"Does it have a kitchen?"

"Yeah."

"Well then get a counter with stools and it can be used for both, and you'll have access to the refrigerator."

"I like the way you think," Emmett chuckled. He threw his arm over my shoulder and guided me to the pool house. I'd never been inside of it before; there was never any reason for me to. "Now for the shit hole, don't say I didn't warn you."

Emmett threw open the door and the large open room was stacked with boxes and lamps, even old headboards and couches were strewn about. The one that had been in my room was closest to the door. There was a path going back to both rooms and Emmett took the lead, squeezing between boxes as he made his way further back.

"Let's see how much crap's behind door number one," he said, pushing the door open.

I don't think either of us were prepared for what was behind the door. Emmett let out a grunt of disgust as I turned away from it. Izzy and Peter were together; this time Izzy was on the bottom, and Peter didn't show any signs of stopping, even when he saw us standing there.

"You sick motherfuckers. You have two minutes to get dressed and get the fuck out or I will beat the ever loving shit outta you, Pete." Emmett slammed the door closed and turned to face me again, his face pale.

We both stood there in silence, neither one of us knowing what to do about the situation. It was obvious that whatever we'd said to them the last time hadn't had any effect. Not that I was surprised. The last time I'd talked to Izzy about it was what led to the week of drunk and the fight at the end of it.

"What are we going to do about this?" I whispered, unsure whether Emmett was even in the frame of mind to talk to me about it.

"I'm going to kick his ass."

My heart pounded in my chest with the thought. I knew that they were brothers and this kind of thing happened a lot, I mean even Seth and Leah came to blows at times, but this, I couldn't see it solving anything. I couldn't see it doing anything other than creating a bigger problem.

"Emmett, you can't. It's not going to solve anything."

"It'll make me feel better."

"I'm sorry I can't stay around and watch you do that, Em. I just . . . I can't."

His warm eyes turned on me, I could see how remorseful he was, he didn't want to scare me. Emmett was a big guy, he played football, and he had the build for it. I knew he could probably do a lot of damage, but that wasn't the guy I knew. The Emmett I knew was big and cuddly and kind hearted.

"Fine, but the next time I catch them together there will be no warning."

"Fuck you, Emmett. Like you're gonna do shit," Izzy hissed, stepping out and pushing past the two of us before stomping out of the pool house. She'd left the bedroom door open, revealing Peter lying on the mattress with his hands behind his head, only boxer briefs covering his body.

"Bells, we'll do this in the morning. I need to talk to my asshole brother."

"Sure, Emmett." I offered, backing out of the small space before turning around and stepping out into the courtyard. At least I'd held my dinner this time.

I hoped that whatever Emmett said wouldn't start a fight between them. I wasn't saying Peter didn't deserve it, because I was pretty sure he did. I just didn't want Emmett to have that on his conscience. I knew he would never tell Dad or Tanya what was going on, so there was a chance he'd get blamed for starting the fight to begin with.

I made my way back to my room, figuring it would be better to keep a low profile. I really didn't want to have to face my twin and deal with seeing more of her than I ever wanted to. I really didn't have anything to say to her either. She was disgusting.

"What no pep talk this time?"

My whole body reacted to her voice, my shoulders slumping as my head lolled back on my neck. I wasn't in the mood for this; I really could have cared less if she never spoke to me again. I rolled my head back into its usual position and opened my door, deciding that ignoring her was probably better than falling into her trap.

"Aww is widdle Bewwa scawed?"

"Really?" I asked, finally turning around to look at her. "After what we just caught you doing, you're going to try and pull me into some petty argument? Do you even know how disgusting you are? How little your opinion means to me when you continually degrade yourself like some common whore on a street corner?"

"Fuck you."

"Oh how the words sting. Grow up, Izzy. You don't get to act better than someone when you act like an animal."

I hadn't expected what came next, so she caught me off guard. She rushed at me, one hand tangling in my hair as the other slapped my mouth. I could feel the sting from her hand and the rusty taste of blood in my mouth. Before I knew what I was doing, my hand balled into a fist and landed square in the center of her face. Both of her hands moved to her nose, releasing my hair so I was able to turn all the way to face her.

Fire boiled in my veins with my hatred; it seared every inch of me as it moved through my body. I could feel the adrenaline kicking in as her hands moved to reveal the patch of red leaking from her nose. It still didn't stop her though; her arms started swinging in my direction, ineffectively landing on nothing in particular.

In self-defense I swung again and landed another fist square in her nose as a feral scream fell through my lips. I was past my limit, I was beyond angry—I was pissed. I kept swinging, one fist in her gut and the other on her cheek, eliciting a scream as her hands found my hair again and pulled roughly. It did nothing but piss me off further.

Before I could even land another punch, there were a set of strong arms pinning my own flat against my sides, leaving my legs kicking at the girl in front of me. I could see dad behind her, his arms like manacles around her wrists as he pulled her toward her room.

"I fucking hate you, you bitch," she screamed, her blonde hair sticking to the blood oozing from her nose.

"That hurts, you dumb bitch," I laughed maniacally, fighting the steel grip of the person holding me. "Say it to my face, bitch, SAY IT!"

"Bella, calm down, breathe," Emmett panted from behind me, his voice oozing calming reassurance. "Relax."

He carried me in his arms to my door and released me, nudging me gently toward the stairs.

"I fucking hate her, Emmett. I. Hate. Her."

"So does everyone. Just relax."

I marched up the stairs, my feet pounding each step with a precision beat. The adrenaline was pumping through my body, making it impossible to sit still, let alone breathe. Emmett was sitting on my bed, watching me pace and curse under my breath. He looked amused and concerned all at the same time.

"What?" I snapped, unable to control my temper. I regretted it the moment it was out. I didn't want to take it out on the one person who was on my side. "Sorry, Em."

"Are you kidding, it's nice to see you let loose. All this pent up aggression can't be good for you."

My emotions all seemed to meld together, draining me of the adrenaline that had pushed me forward. I fell onto the bed next to him and put my head on his shoulder. "What the hell do I tell dad, Em? He's going to ask what that was all about."

"Tell him a version of the truth, she was pushing your buttons and you reacted."

"She hit me first," I said defensively.

"She did?" Emmett laughed, immediately pressing his lips together when I lifted my head and gave him a look.

"Yeah, and then I smacked her. She's a hair puller," I said, rubbing my scalp.

"Well I think you fucked up her nose pretty good."

"I didn't mean to," I groaned, covering my face with my palms. "This is so fucked up. What do I do, Em? I mean, I just don't know if this is worth it anymore."

"Thanks."

"You're worth it; Dad is worth it, but this harassment. I don't know if I can live like this."

"Then she's won, Bella. That's what all this has been about from the beginning, her pushing you with everything she's got to see how far she could go before she pushed you away completely. I understand if you feel like you have to go, but I don't think you should."

"Bella?" Dad's voice seemed to ring out in the room, the pain behind his eyes made the fact that he'd overheard us very obvious.

"I'm going to go do . . . something," Emmett said, getting up and patting me on top of the head. His hand clapped on Carlisle's shoulder before he disappeared down the stairs, leaving dad and me alone just staring at one another.

* * *

**A/N: I know there were a few of you out there waiting for that to happen! I think it was only a matter of time and Izzy finally pushed her over the line!**

**Thank you to my awesome beta, Annabanana, for making my writing better, and my atrocious grammar pretty and flowy! ;)**

**As always a huge thanks to Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors and Hev99 for all the support and hand holding they provide, and also to Newmoonaholic. Love ya ladies!**

**To all of you who review. You guys are always so amazing, I always love to see your questions and theories about who's doing what and why lol. You keep my mind ticking and I love you for it. Thank you so much *Massive hugs***

**Much love and huger hugs than ever ~Weezy~  
**


	24. Promulgation

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer. A couple plot points can be attributed to V.C. Andrews, and the rest comes from my strange mind! ;) Happy Tuesday!_**

* * *

**Promulgation**

_Just like the brightest light will fade away to black _  
_There comes a time when there's no reason to look back _  
_I gave you everything, I gave you all I had _  
_And when it all comes down, I know I won't be sad_  
**_Hail Mary by Skold_**

_

* * *

_

"Dad, I'm sorry, I just . . ."

Dad put up his hand, his cautious eyes capturing mine as he gathered his thoughts. This couldn't be good. I hadn't meant to lose my temper like that, and I sure as hell hadn't meant to hit Izzy. It hadn't made me feel better about anything and it didn't fix the situation.

It also did the one thing I had been trying to avoid. It put our dad in a difficult position and left him free to question the reasoning behind the action. This was so much worse than bad, this was disastrous.

"Bella," he started, slowly making his way to the bed so he could sit next to me.

"Yes, sir," I replied, hanging my head as he perched beside me. His body turned so he was facing me.

"Let me see that lip, please."

I looked up at him, his normally kind and relaxed eyes looked harrowed and haunted by our actions. I hated that I'd put that look there, that I had once again let him down by letting Izzy provoke me. I should have just walked away, not even dignified her ridiculousness with a response. My stupid pride had gotten me into this mess, and all I wanted to do now was huddle up in a ball and forget it ever happened.

That wasn't an option though.

"Nothing too bad," he said, his two thumbs pressing gently around the tender skin. "It may swell a little more, but I don't think there's much more I can do for it."

"Thank you."

"Izzy has a broken nose, a bruised jaw, and I'm sure, two black eyes on the way. Do you want to explain what happened? She seemed to think you lost your mind, but I'm more inclined to believe there was instigation involved."

"I'm sorry, I really am, but she slapped me and pulled my hair, and I . . . I lost my temper. I'm so sorry; I never wanted to fight with her."

"She hit you first?"

"Yes, sir."

He sighed and rubbed his face with his hands, the weariness of the action showing just how tired he was of our constant bickering. I couldn't say I blamed him—I was half of the problem, and I was exhausted. All I wanted was a quiet life, but I knew Emmett was right; whatever I did after this would either give Izzy more power, or it would take it away.

"I don't know what to do. It's your word against hers, and I can't take sides. I can't imagine Izzy attacking someone. I've never seen her lift her hand in anger before, but I also can't see you doing anything of the sort. I am at my wits' end, and I just don't know what to do about this."

"Maybe . . ."

He lifted his hand to stop me from continuing as he gathered himself. I could see that he was shifting through his thoughts, trying to organize what he was going to say next.

"That being said, I don't want this to make you think you should or have to leave. I know things between you and Izzy haven't been good; I was holding out with the hope that the two of you could, somehow, at least coexist. I won't tolerate violence in this house, Isabella, but I don't want this to push you away either."

"I'm sorry you even had to hear that, dad," I sighed, my hands tangling in my lap. "I was venting to Emmett; it was never meant to be overheard by you. I don't want you to think I would use that as a manipulation to get my own way. I just needed to blow off some steam."

"I can appreciate that, Bella, and I know you aren't trying to use that as a get out of jail free card either. I just want you to know that, whatever is thrown at us, we can handle. Don't ever think you have to leave because things got rough."

"Yes, sir."

It seemed we were both at a loss with how to handle this situation. He seemed almost as confused as I was about the whole thing. I felt as though I was waiting for a punishment, while he seemed to be contemplating whether it was something he should do.

"I talked to Izzy, and I want to say the same to you so I am being fair."

"I understand." We were the ones that put him in this situation to begin with.

"I will not tolerate violence in any form or fashion; this is the first and last time this will happen. If I catch either of you laying a finger on the other in hate, I will be forced to do something drastic. I don't want to have to think like that Bella; you are under my care and I will punish you as I see fit. Is that clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"This is over for now. You're free to go, but I'm serious about this. I don't want to see anything like this happening again. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir."

He got up from the bed with an exaggerated sigh. I had been expecting to be grounded again, or at least a call to Sue, which would have been fine with me. She knew me well enough to deduce that an act of violence would be my last resort. I couldn't say the same for dad, because he didn't know me that well.

"I really am sorry, dad. I never wanted it to come to this."

"I know that, sweetheart," he said, bending over to kiss my forehead. "It's a difficult situation, and I think the two of you nursing your wounds is enough punishment for now. If she so much as calls you a name, you come to me first."

"I will," I lied. There was no way in hell I was going to him every time Izzy mumbled a curse or derogatory term at me—we'd be in a constant meeting. I would, however, go to him if I caught Peter and Izzy doing what they'd been doing again, I would go to him if I felt threatened or pushed in any way. I had a feeling, though, that it wouldn't be an issue for a while.

I watched him leaving my room and waited until the click of the door going home before I reached into my bag for my phone. There was only one person I could talk to when shit was this difficult. She'd know exactly what to say to me. I found her in my favorites and hit send, waiting for her to pick up even though I had promised not to call her tonight.

"Bells?"

"Leah," I said, the lump in my throat making the word distorted. "I fucked up."

"What happened?" she asked, her attention immediately all mine. I felt terrible for disturbing her, but I needed to talk.

"Izzy and I got into a fight."

"Oh I hope you kicked that sorry bitch's ass," Leah laughed, her voice relaxing from the tense state it had been in when she'd heard my voice.

"It's not funny, Lee."

"Stop overreacting, Bells. It was a fight; people have them all the time. Things get heated sometimes. I know it  
probably seems like a travesty, but I know you. I know that whatever that skank bitch said or did lit a fire up your ass and you reacted. I'm surprised it took this long to happen. What did happen anyway?"

"Emmett and I found her and Peter again. Emmett pulled Pete to the side, but I ignored Izzy. She started pushing until I bit; I told her she didn't have the right to talk down to me when she was a sick animal, then the bitch slapped me."

"Did she hurt you?"

"Not really, a tiny cut inside my lip, but, Lee, I broke her nose."

Leah's raucous laughter filled the line; I heard her recounting the altercation to Jacob, who laughed with just as much gusto. I really didn't find it funny, but I knew I had to let her get it out of her system before I could get any sense from her. Finally, her laughter died down into manageable giggles.

"That's my girl, Bella. I knew you had it in you."

"Not helping, Leah."

"What did daddy say?"

"He gave us both a warning that he would punish us severely next time."

"You're not grounded or anything?"

"No, but I feel horrible."

"You are so lame. I love the shit out of you, Bells, but get over it. Maybe the bitch will shut the fuck up and think before she comes at you like that again. If you're not grounded, call Jasper and go out. Get out of the house and take your mind off of it. There's no point in feeling all guilty about it. It happened; just move on or you'll drive yourself crazy."

"I know."

"I know you know, that's why I say these things," Leah laughed playfully. "Do you want me to come down there?"

"No, it's fine. You and Jake get back to molesting one another indecently. I'll call Jasper and Alice."

"Love you, Rocky."

"Fuck off," I laughed, rolling my eyes even if she couldn't see it. "I love you back."

"Call me tomorrow, later."

"I will; now stop wasting time with me you dirty whore."

Leah blew me a kiss down the phone before disconnecting, leaving me smiling down at the phone, thankful that I had a best friend who knew me well enough to slap me upside the head and tell me to get on with life.

I took her advice and called Jasper, who was happy that I'd changed my mind and decided to spend the evening with them. They were going to our school's pre-season soccer game to cheer on Ben. It seemed like a good way to get out of the house so I told him I would meet them there.

Getting there later than everyone made it a pain in the ass to find a parking spot, but I managed and made my way to where Jasper said he and Alice would be sitting. They waved to me from the center row of bleachers.

"What the fuck happened to your lip?" Jasper asked, making me cringe. It was the last thing I wanted to discuss, but I should have known he would ask.

"Izzy happened," I sighed, falling down onto the bleacher next to him. Alice was on the other side, leaning forward so she could see what he was talking about.

"I hope you gave as good as you got," she teased, reaching out to touch my lip, making me flinch away from her and swat at her hand playfully.

"I broke her nose," I sighed. It wasn't as though I was proud of myself.

Alice and Jasper looked at one another and laughed. I simply prodded at my swollen lip with my tongue as my own personal penance for retelling the story. I still felt awful.

"It's really not funny."

"Are you kidding? It's fucking hilarious," Jasper answered, his arm circling my shoulders and pulling me into his side. "I know she's your sister, and I'm sure your dad was pissed, but you just did what everyone in school would love to do."

"Still not helping," I sighed, letting my head come to rest on his shoulder. "I feel bad—dad said she had a broken nose, bruised jaw and two black eyes. I feel horrible."

"I wouldn't. Maybe she'll give the attitude a rest."

Jasper's eyes moved back to the game, as did Alice's, and when I looked, I could see the ball traveling toward Ben, who efficiently started working it down to the goal. Jasper stood up, taking me with him, his arm hanging over my shoulder as he shouted for Ben to go.

My little bout with Izzy thankfully passed to the wayside after that, and we focused on the game. All three of us shouting and chanting when our team, the Falcons, got the ball. We were better than I had expected, and we managed to score before halftime, leaving all three of us hoarse.

I turned around at one point and saw Angela in the stands with her brother and gave them both a wave before turning back to the game. She'd mentioned they were going to be here and I'd forgotten. I felt bad because I'd turned down her invitation, mainly because she'd asked after I had agreed to help Emmett out.

I didn't have time to dwell on it though, the game was in full action, and the Falcons had the ball and were making their way down the pitch with only seconds until the whistle blew for halftime. The player with the ball took a risk and shot at the goal a second before the referee blew the whistle. The ball went wide, but had us all jumping and screaming in hope that it would go in.

All three of us fell into our seats after the team made it's way to the benches.

"I need something to drink, you two want anything?" I asked, pushing up again.

"Hot dog?" Jasper asked, hopeful.

I nodded.

"Alice?"

"Diet coke, please."

"I'll be right back." I smiled, making my way to the end of the row and out back to where the small stands were.

I knew I would be waiting for a while. If I'd been smart, I would have come down before the whistle, but the game had been too good to just walk out during the play. It kind of felt good to be walking around anyway. The game had started again before I had a chance to even get what I needed. I stayed as people started filtering back toward the game, where people were already cheering and screaming.

I got what I needed and juggled it in my arms as I made my way back to where the others were sitting, wondering if I should go up and explain why I was there to Angela. In all honesty, though, I really didn't want to deal with James and I really didn't want to explain why my lip was swollen again, so I decided against it. I made my way back to the bleachers but somehow ended up in the wrong place. It wasn't really unusual for me.

Rather than heading all the way around, I cut under the bleachers; I was only one section out. Unfortunately, I hadn't thought about there being someone else down there, and I sure as hell hadn't thought about what people did down there.

I hadn't seen them in time, so the whimper caught me off guard and I turned to look without even thinking.

Mike Newton was pressed up against someone, his back to me. A set of legs were hooked around his waist, I don't know what or who I thought he was with, but the face of the girl pressed up against his neck wasn't his girlfriend, my sister . . . it was her best friend.

I took off. The area I was heading for wasn't that far ahead of me so I took my chances and bolted toward the bright white lights that were now shining around the area. I found Alice and Jasper and made my way toward them, unable to even concentrate on anything other than the image seared to the back of my eyelids.

Everything was so sordid here, so many rules discarded; ethics that most people considered common sense pushed to the wayside for their hormones. Was this how life was? Was I so sheltered before I came here?

Taking my drink, I shoved the rest of the things I was holding at Jasper and fell onto the bench below me. I couldn't even decide whether I should feel bad for Izzy or not. Hadn't I just caught her with Peter hours earlier? Everything was so messed up, so many lines blurred until they fell out of focus completely. It just left me more confounded than I already was.

"Everything okay, Bella?" Jasper asked, sitting next to me, his body leaning into mine so he could hear my answer around the screams and shouts for the players on the field.

I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't know how to get all of the confusion and emotions and formulate a response. I hated this. I hated being confused by things that didn't directly effect me, but still made me feel.

"Is everything always so fucked up?"

"What the hell just happened?" Jasper asked, his eyes scanning the spectators around us. I wasn't sure what he expected to find, but it wouldn't be there.

"I just walked up on something, and I just . . . I don't understand how people can do shit like that. It's so . . . disrespectful, and I don't know how to feel because—it doesn't matter."

"Qué?" Jasper asked, his eyebrow quirked.

I put my drink on the floor and put my head on my knees as I tried to gather my thoughts. Jasper's hand rubbed my back gently as he waited. I could hear Alice questioning him, and I knew I was being overly dramatic but after the days events, it did nothing but confuse me more.

"Bella, talk to me."

I lifted my body, putting my elbows on my knees so my hands could cradle my chin. I wanted to go home, and to make matters worse, I was getting the same creepy feeling I'd been having more and more recently.

"I caught Jessica and Mike Newton fucking under the bleachers. I just can't understand how she could do that to her best friend. It's like every time I turn around, I see someone else getting fucked over behind their back. I feel so naive for even saying it, but I just don't understand."

"Jessica is a skeezy whore, Bella. You can't tar everyone with the same brush. I get why you're upset, especially after everything with Izzy, but believe me, she's no saint either. Why do you think we all give them a wide berth?" Jasper said, pulling me into his side and giving me a reassuring hug. He knew me well; I hadn't counted on that. I knew we were close, but he'd just given me the same answer I knew Leah would have given me had she been here.

"I'm sorry, I'm just having a really shitty day."

"I can see that," he laughed, kissing the top of my head and squeezing me again. "I guess this isn't a good time for Peter to be here then?"

"What?" I looked at the end of the row and watched Peter edging toward us through the crowd. He already looked bored, which made me wonder why he even bothered coming to things like this.

"Hey kids," Peter said, falling down next to me as Jasper moved us over to give him room. "Damn Jasper, you're keeping the new girls to yourself; your mom never tell you to share?"

"Shut up, Pete."

"How are you holding up, Brock Lesnar?" he laughed, bumping my shoulder with his.

"Who?" I asked, looking over at him with my eyebrow quirked.

"Brock Lesnar. You know the UFC . . . What?"

I looked to Jasper who was shaking his head at Peter. I could have kissed him. It was another example of him seemingly knowing what I needed without me having to say a word.

We went back to watching the game after that, Jasper and I switching spots so Alice and I could talk while we watched. I enjoyed her company; she and I were close and had been since the day she'd started. She was such a free spirit compared to most of the other people in the school—I had a feeling it was one of the reasons she fit in so well with us. She wasn't the uptight brat everyone else outside of our group seemed to be.

Even as close as we were though, I couldn't help but notice that she seemed a little off as we talked. It wasn't something I would get upset about. I was more concerned than anything; she seemed a lot more quiet and subdued than normal.

"I'm sorry, Al," I sighed, as the fans around us started flooding out when the game ended.

"What are you sorry about?" she asked, her arm looping through mine as it always did when we walked together.

"Well, I just feel like I ruined your night. I've been so moody. You and Jasper came to have fun."

"We're having fun, you dork. Why would you think we weren't?"

"You just seem really quiet." I grinned. "You're never quiet, Al."

"What are you trying to say, Bella?" she giggled, pinching my side making me yelp.

"Ouch, I was just saying you're not the silent type," I laughed, dodging out of reach.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It was." I grinned, glad that I had just been imagining things.

At least I thought I had been imagining things. The rest of the night had gone by with ease, and I actually managed to avoid Izzy all weekend by spending time with Jasper, Alice and oddly enough Peter. Emmett had ended up asking Edward to help him move things from the pool house after his initial inspection. He insisted that it would be a surprise and wouldn't let me near the place to help.

The two of them didn't even show up to lunch for most of the week after that. It was strange not having Emmett at the table giving me a hard time. Even Rosalie seemed to feel his absence; she sat next to me everyday, quiet and contemplative, a small smile on her lips as she stared off at nothing in particular.

If that wasn't weird enough, Alice seemed to sit on the other side of Rosalie rather than her normal place next to Jasper, while Jasper seemed to spend more time with Peter. In fact, Peter was the only one acting his normal, creepy self.

By Thursday I was so confused by the new dynamics, I skipped the cafeteria completely and went to the pool again, knowing that it wasn't a practice day and I could be alone for a while. Everything was so different. I couldn't put my finger on why, and nobody seemed to want to talk about it. So I was taking some time out so I would stop over thinking everything.

I pulled my phone out as I made my way to the top bench of the stands and dropped my bag on the floor. I sat down and pulled my legs under me, making sure the stupid skirt we had to wear covered everything. I opened up the text messages and typed a message out to Leah.

'_Hey whore things are still weird. Can you talk?'_

I waited a couple of minutes, pulling out the pop tarts I'd taken this morning. I think I knew that I was planning this before it was even a conscious thought. My phone chirped from beside me, alerting me to a new message.

'_Define weird.'_

'_Wish I could. Everything's changed. Emmett is gone, Rosalie's weird, Alice is avoiding Jasper ,and Jasper is spending time with Peter. Peter is still a perv though.'_

I ate as I waited for a response, wondering how she would decipher the message. There really wasn't much I could add to it. They were acting weird, but none of them really said anything about it, making me feel as though I were seeing things that weren't there.

'_As long as Peter's still a perv! The world can be sane. Are you just being paranoid?'_

I rolled my eyes and laughed. Only Leah would pull out the Peter comment. She and I thought too much alike for her not to.

'_No. I don't think so—I don't know! Maybe? It's just weird._'

Was I being paranoid? Yes, more than likely, but in the same breath, things were definitely different. Jasper and I never sneaked away to make out, Alice seemed to be avoiding Jasper, and Emmett and Edward seemed to be avoiding everyone. Rosalie, even with her silent thoughts, was still herself though.

'_Don't worry. Det. Clearwater is on the case. Will be there after school tomorrow. Don't say I never give you anything. Love you bitch, go do something productive._'

'_You're coming this weekend? I LOVE YOU WHORE! See you tomorrow!'_

I hit send and silenced my phone, shoving it back in my bag as I finished the last of the pop tart I had been eating. At least nothing with her would change, well, not drastically anyway. I knew that people grew and changed, and she and I had gone through so much together that we just accepted it and went on as we always had. I wasn't used to things being so askew.

Having her coming down for the weekend made my day so much better. When Rosalie had asked where I'd been, I rearranged the truth to leave out my obvious paranoia and made it seem more as though I had planned to nag Leah into coming down and not that she had suggested it to stop my whining.

The minute I got home on Friday, I was bouncing in anticipation of her arrival. Emmett, who I still rode to and from school with, had been laughing at me on the drive home. He was now sitting in my room watching me throw all of my crap into the closet in an attempt to clean my room.

"Bella, she goes in your closet while she's here," Emmett laughed from the couch as I made another trip with my arms full of clothes.

"Yes, and this, what I'm doing right here, is called a Leah special. I learned from the best, and it needs to be washed anyway."

"I had no idea you were such a slob."

"I got bored, shoot me," I laughed, stepping in the laundry basket to give me more room. It was true, I'd spent every evening this week in my room. After I'd exhausted my book collection, I had moved on to separating my clothes into piles to wash them. I just hadn't counted on it eating up a large portion of my floor space.

"Why didn't you come and get me then?"

"You haven't been around a whole lot lately, Em, and even when you are, you're oddly quiet. It's disconcerting."

"I know, but I am proud to say the pool house is done, and we're having a Halloween party this weekend to celebrate."

I fell out of the laundry basket and back into the bedroom, my eyebrows quirked. "You finished? When?"

"Last night. The last of the stuff arrived at lunch today. They've been delivering crap all week. Mom was out with the ladies so I had to be here to sign for shit."

"Can I see?" I asked, grinning as I walked to the last pile of clothes.

"Tomorrow, you can help me get ready for the party."

"I'm there!" I grinned. I scooped up the last of the clothes and made another run to the closet, stuffing them into the little space I had left in the laundry basket. At least this weekend would be fun. I just hoped there would be some normalcy again.

* * *

**A/N: So sorry I am posting so late! I am sick as a dog and slept in! I know there was no Edward, but I'm hoping some of the moving along is evident here :) Got to love Alice not being worried about her appearance!**

**Thanks as always to my awesome beta, Annabanana, who make my writing so much better with her keen eye and knowledge of the city Bella is currently inhabiting. You rock chick!**

**Thanks as always to Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic who hold my hand and tell me what they think when I freak out! Love you ladies!**

**Thanks also to the amazing reviewers. You are all so amazing and wonderful and your questions and theories keep me smiling! I wish I knew how to thank you properly! You never cease to amaze me! I love you all!**

**Much love and huge hugs ~Weezy~**


	25. All Hallows Eve

_**All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer, some parts were inspired by V.C. Andrews and the rest . . . my slightly warped mind lol! Happy Tuesday :)**_

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**All Hallows Eve**

_I can't turn my back on you_  
_When you are walking away._  
_Bottomless celebrity scar_  
_Staged circuses for schoolgirls,_  
_Us boys are all dressed up like a_  
_Mediocre suicide omen._  
**_The Red Carpet Grave by Marilyn Manson_**

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"Emmett McCarty, I did not just put all this effort into this for you to hang up fake cobwebs and bloodied appendages," Tanya said, her hands on her hips as her eyes scanned the pool house.

Leah and I were hiding in the bedroom that the pool table was in. We were peeking around the door, hoping she wouldn't venture in here and tear us a new one, as she seemed to be doing to Emmett. I currently had my hand over my best friend's mouth, stifling her giggles; it unfortunately didn't stop the skeleton in her hands from jiggling though.

I couldn't believe how amazing the pool house looked. Both of them had done a phenomenal job on it. It managed to look warm and inviting as well as contemporary and stylish. They'd outdone themselves. There was a vintage pool table taking up most of the room we were in. Thankfully the room was big enough that it wouldn't affect taking a shot, but it was the only thing that could be housed in here.

In the living room there was a huge, deep leather couch that had ottomans making it look like a giant bed in the center of the room. There were all kinds of throws casually strewn around it. It was facing a huge flat screen television which had every gaming unit that existed attached to it, as well as a computer hard drive, which according to Emmett had the best video card on the market installed in it. It meant absolutely nothing to me, but it seemed to excite him.

The crowning glory, of course, was the kitchen that doubled up into a wet bar. All of the granite countertops were dark, and the lights they had installed were almost spotlights that seemed to pick up the reflective surfaces, making it seem lighter than it actually was. I hated to admit it, but Tanya had a good eye for this kind of thing.

"I guess we should just do this over at Jasper's then. Ms. Whitlock normally just lets us get on with it."

Leah almost doubled over and I had to bury my head in her shoulder to stop from laughing myself. Emmett knew how to get around his mom, most of us did. A little tweak of her pride and she rolled over like a well-trained dog.

There was a long, silent pause.

"You better have it back to the way it was, Emmett. I'm not playing with you."

"I know, mom. Thanks."

We heard the click of her heels on the tile as she made her way to the door. Leah was almost convulsing as the door clicked closed. Before I could even look around the corner, her tongue ran along the palm of my hand, making me release her.

"Gross, Lee," I squealed, wiping my hands on my jeans.

She grinned at me and stepped towards the door, sticking her head out first to make sure the coast was clear.

"Great help you two were," Emmett grumbled from the other room, his voice not actually holding the disdain it was probably supposed to.

"Like we would have helped," Leah laughed, walking toward Emmett and punching him playfully on the arm. "She hates me and she's trying to make Bella's life miserable. I really don't think that would have helped with the fuck off and let us do our thing you just pulled."

"I guess you're right, but now you have to get on my shoulders and put this shit up to make up for it."

Leah laughed and clambered on the new couch without even a second thought. Her and Emmett worked together, finishing the rest of the cobwebs, while I tried to get the random skeleton to look like he was holding the pool cue. Which was proving to be a little more difficult than I'd anticipated.

"You're not giving him any form," a familiar voice said from behind me.

I stood up and turned around, smiling at the face that matched the voice. "Now correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't I kick your ass the last time we played? I really don't think there's anything wrong with my form."

Edward laughed, his green eyes sparkling in the light from the specialty lamp Tanya had installed over the table. I felt the blush rise in my cheeks as I realized I was staring at him, my mind moving to places it really shouldn't be moving to. I turned around and hid my face while I played with the skeleton again.

"You caught me off guard."

I snorted.

Horrified I rolled my eyes at myself. I needed to get a grip.

"Did you just snort at me?"

"Yes I did. I believe you went to your 'best game' after you accused me of hustling you," I teased, looking at him as I made the quotations with my hands. "I still kicked your ass."

Edward laughed again, but I didn't look at him this time. I pretended to be too interested in the skeleton. I had to stop flirting with him; it was no wonder he'd used me as an excuse to break up with Rosalie. If I thought back to the times we'd interacted, it made sense. That thought alone made me blush again and I was glad I was keeping my head down.

"You're doing it wrong."

"Excuse me?" I chortled, shaking my head and concentrating on nothing but the joint of the finger I was trying to arrange to hold the cue.

"Does that look natural to you? The poor bastard would have to be double jointed," he chuckled, sliding behind me and making me jump. "Let me do it."

"No," I laughed, swatting him away. "I'm perfectly capable of . . ."

Before I could even finish my sentence, he'd pushed me out of the way, flashing me his customary lopsided grin, which, to me, simply made him look arrogant. I stepped back and leaned against the wall, crossing my arms as I watched him.

"You've gone and fucked it all up, Masen," I sighed, pushing my tongue into my cheek to stop from laughing.

"Masen, huh? You working in reverse there Miss Cullen?"

"Swan," I corrected him. I hated that I was still so attached to the name, but being a Cullen right now wasn't exactly something I was rooting for. Especially after the incident with Izzy. It just reminded me of how fucked up everything was. It was easier to keep the line drawn for now.

"You what?"

"My surname—it's Swan, not Cullen."

He stood up and looked at me, one of his hands resting on the skeleton's head, while the other ran through his unruly hair. His smile passed across his lips again, making me reciprocate. It was impossible not to, his smile was contagious when he actually used it.

"It suits you."

"Why? Is she an ugly kid that turned into a beautiful white bird?" Leah asked, giggling as she sidled up to me and threw her arm around my neck. "Would you excuse us? We have to go and pick up our costumes."

"Sure," Edward laughed, leaning over and putting all of his attention back into the skeleton.

It seemed to be getting a lot of that this afternoon.

"See you later?" I said; it came out as a question rather than a statement, making Leah giggle and me give myself a mental eye roll. I hated that my speech was so stunted around him. If Rosalie hadn't said what she'd said, I would be fine. I would still have the same old indifference toward him. Maybe.

We made our way through the house, taking the directions from Emmett as we passed. Leah and I pushed and stumbled over one another playfully as we tried to get out of the door first. We chased one another around the pool toward the garage where my car was parked. It was customary to take mine now. As soon as she arrived at the house, her car sat at the curb and stayed there until she left.

"Were you just flirting with Edward?" Leah asked, dancing around to the other side with a grin worthy of the Cheshire cats.

"Shut up."

"You were. Look who the whore is now," she teased, climbing in as I unlocked the doors.

I got in and started the engine. We already knew what we were doing—we were coordinating with Emmett. He was a pimp and we were his hoes. I dreaded to think what had been picked out for us in advance.

I made my way to the store using the directions Emmett had given us. It didn't take us long to find the place, there was a huge crowd outside. The line almost wrapped around the building. However, thinking ahead as he always did, there was a line to pick up the pre-ordered costumes, where there were only five people waiting. We were shuffled in and greeted like old friends, the woman handing us the dress bags and pushing us out because it had already been paid for.

Dying of curiosity, we opened them the moment we got to the car. Each bag had a name attached to it, so when I opened the one with my name, I almost fell over. There was so little material it was practically going to be indecent exposure wearing it. I was going to kill Emmett.

"What the fuck?" Leah gasped, holding up hers after checking the bag for something more we both knew she wasn't going to find, except of course for the huge stripper boots sitting neatly at the bottom. "What was he thinking? I mean I knew they were going to be scandalous, but this . . ."

"I know," I groaned, turning my bag to face her. Her eyes almost popped out of her head.

"Oh this is going to be fun."

"Traitor," I laughed, zipping the bag and picking up Emmett's to see what he'd picked out for himself. Of course his was just a leisure suit with a loud shirt and cane. Add in the spats, shoes, cravat and fedora and he would look relatively normal compared to us. "Look at this shit."

"How is that fair?" Leah asked, her eyes wide with surprise.

"It's not."

"You're right, but I have an idea."

"No, Lee," I laughed, zipping the bag and shoving it into the backseat.

"It's okay, I will convince Emmett, he'll come round to seeing things my way."

Somehow, I knew she would. Whatever devious plan she'd formulated in her head, she would work until she got her own way. Poor Emmett didn't stand a chance. Leah was a force of nature when she wanted to be; if it was something she believed in, or thought was right, she could convince someone that the sky was green.

"Do you think he dressed Rosalie the same way?" she asked, her teeth impaling her bottom lip as her mind worked over whatever plan she was devising. She was smart; she knew if she had Rosalie on her side there was a larger chance that Emmett would fold with the least amount of resistance.

"Probably." I picked up my phone and scrolled through the contacts until I found her. I hit send and waited as it rang, slapping Leah's hands away from trying to pull the phone out of my hands.

"Hey, Bella," Rosalie answered, her voice bright.

"Hey Rose, have you picked up your costume yet?"

There was a pause on the line, followed by a snicker. I imagined that was a yes. Rosalie had far more confidence than I had, so her easy laughter really didn't surprise me. It was almost the same response Leah'd had, with the 'this is going to be fun' comment.

"What color?" I asked.

"Red, bright fucking red, and leather too. The shoes alone are going to kill me. It's almost burlesque."

"Is there very little to it?" I asked, rolling my eyes to let Leah know that he had in fact given Rosalie the same kind of costume.

"It's practically indecent. How about yours?"

"Same," I laughed.

"Can I come get ready with you guys? There's no way in hell my parents will let me out of the house wearing this."

I was starting to wonder if we'd have the same problem, but being in the back yard at least gave us a little bit of advantage. I just hoped I wouldn't have to face my dad dressed as a slut, mortification wouldn't even cover that experience.

"The more the merrier," I confirmed, realizing I'd left her hanging on the other end of the line.

"See you in a little bit then."

I hung up and rolled my head to look over at Leah. She, much like Rosalie, had exponentially more confidence than I did. I knew it would be weird for her to show that much skin around people she really didn't know, but she was confident in her own skin. I knew she could make it work. I, however, had trouble showing my stomach most of the time, so this itty bitty costume was going to have me fidgeting all night, especially when it was doubtful I would get a shot to help ease my nerves. There was no doubt about it, this was going to be interesting.

~oOo~

The three of us stood in front of the mirror, looking at each other and ourselves. There was no doubt about it now, we were wearing the costumes, or lack thereof. Rosalie had helped with my make up and it made all the difference. She and Leah had run with it, their hair huge, their make up in bright colors and their jewelry matching their outfits.

My hair was straightened and my make up, although over done by usual standards, was downplayed compared to the two of them. My jewelry was all fake gold. Rosalie had even gone so far as to stick a roll of condoms down her cleavage. If nothing else, we certainly looked the part.

"Look at the three of you," Emmett boomed from behind us. We could see the sparkle in his eyes through the mirror. He had all of his little extras on. He was covered from head to toe.

"This just won't do," Leah sighed from beside me, turning around to face him. "You're too covered up, this situation has to be rectified."

"I have to agree with the girl, Emmett. Fair's fair," Rosalie said, turning around, her hands on her hips.

"What? What do you mean?" Emmett asked, looking down at himself and then into the mirror where he managed to catch my eyes. We'd been over the plan several times; I guess I had my part to play too. He was my brother after all.

"Sorry, Em. I'm with the two of them on this."

"Take off the jacket," Rosalie ordered as she shimmied up next to him, her hands pushing the cheap material over his shoulders. He didn't even fight them as they worked together to take the jacket off. Rosalie moved to the cravat around his neck, untying it and putting it over his eyes, using her natural prowess to get him to cooperate when he moved to fight it.

Leah nodded at me and I bolted into the closet, wobbling on my heels, as she unbuttoned his shirt.

"What the hell are you two doing? My sister's in the room."

"Shut up, Em. This is all about your costume, not sex," Leah laughed, slapping his stomach as I teetered over to them with the chest wig we'd had Rosalie pick up on her way over.

Knowing Emmett, he wouldn't be upset about the addition, but having the thing pressed up against my arm, I understood why it would be a punishment. The thing was scratchy, and to add insult to injury, the glue they were going to use—which was in fact made for this very reason—would pull at the small amount of natural hair he already had there.

Retribution was a bitch in the hands of three scantily clad girls.

Leah and Rosalie worked quietly as they added the chest rug, pressing up against him with silent giggles. I could see his frown under the well placed cravat as they finished and buttoned up his shirt.

"We figured your costume was missing something," Leah said, as Rosalie removed the makeshift blindfold. "What do you think?"

"It's awesome," Emmett laughed, stepping closer to the mirror as I stepped out of the way. "It looks so real."

"Excellent." Rose grinned, handing him his jacket and tying the cravat back in place. She patted him on the back playfully as she pulled her corset up and rearranged her chest. I could have sworn Emmett's eyes were about to fall out of their sockets.

"So, is it time for our big entrance yet?" Leah asked, fluffing her hair and wiggling her eyebrows.

"Yeah, I was just coming to get you. Jasper and Alice are currently watching the door and Edward is playing bartender."

We followed Emmett out of the room, all three of us gripping onto the railings for dear life as we made our way down the stairs. These shoes hadn't been designed for this, I was fine walking in the damn things, but stairs were something I hadn't mastered yet.

My stomach rolled with my anxiety. My hands seemed to flutter uselessly around the practically non-existent skirt and the midnight blue corset that showed a little more than I was comfortable with. How we had thought Emmett picking out our costumes was a good idea was still beyond me.

We could hear the music the moment we stepped out of the house and into the courtyard. I could see the cars lining the street and I felt all the more need to go and change before someone actually saw me in this outfit.

"Look at you guys," Alice called, dancing out of the pool house and towards us in a costume that could only be described as slasher film victim. She was wearing a denim skirt and bikini top, fake knives peppering the skin of her stomach, while fake barbed wire hung around her neck.

"Alice, who killed you?"

"Michael Meyers. AKA Jasper," she laughed, pointing to the door where there was a figure in coveralls and a mask standing stock still, poised for attack. I'd honestly thought he was a statue added at the last minute, but the moment she said it, he moved.

"And now I have new meat. Ladies, you look fabulous. I may have to pull your pimp aside and get some pricing information."

"Shut up, Jasper," Rosalie laughed, flicking him off as Emmett pulled us into the pool house looking smug.

Everyone looked amazing. Ben was a zombie that was believable enough to have me steering clear of him completely. Jessica was the dead beauty queen from Beetle Juice, which really didn't surprise me; I actually believed she considered herself to be above everyone. The costume that had Leah most excited, was Izzy's. She was wearing boxing gloves and silk shorts with a sports bra. Her hair in pigtails as she sipped a drink I was sure was spiked.

"Did you do that?" Leah whispered, leaning into me so no one else around us could hear.

"Guilty as charged," I sighed, hating the constant reminder of my misjudgment. It was an ingenious idea though. She'd taken the week off school after having her nose reset at the hospital on Monday morning. It wasn't as though I was complaining, having her out of sight meant no one knew what I had done.

"I didn't know you had that in you."

"Lee," I sighed, bumping my hip into hers. "Stop it."

"What? I'm proud."

I laughed and shook my head. Only Leah could make it seem like something spectacular after a week of me feeling pathetically guilty and evil.

"Hey, Bella, I dropped my keys, you think you could get them for me?" Peter taunted, standing in front of me dressed as a bloodied horror version of a scarecrow. He actually looked scary as hell, it really didn't help with his creepy factor.

"Anybody got a lighter?" Leah asked, smirking. "What's the matter scarecrow, did the wicked witch get to you?"

"If you're the witch, you can get to me anytime."

"Peter, leave them alone," Jasper said, shoving him to the side playfully. "Now Em if you don't mind, I'm going to take my victim and one of your whores into the other room for a game of doubles."

The double entendre made everyone around us laugh, while Alice and I slapped him. We didn't buy his feigned innocence, yet we still looped our arms through his and let him lead the way to where the pool table was. How I was going to play pool in a skirt this short was beyond me. A slight bend and I would be flashing anyone that stood behind me.

Needless to say, I almost turned and ran the moment we entered and our fourth for the game was standing waiting for us. He looked like John Dillinger with his Tommy gun and fedora. Even without his bronze mess showing he still looked amazing.

If I could have slapped myself for the thought—without question I would have. When had I thought he looked amazing? Always? Recently? What the hell was wrong with me? I was going to have stop flirting with him so much. Sure he was good looking and single, but I couldn't do that to Rosalie.

"I'm teaming with Bella." Edward grinned, challenging Jasper to argue.

"Like that will be any kind of a game. How about girls against guys?"

Edward gave him a blank stare, his eyes moving between Alice and me and then back to Jasper who had his eyebrows raised. His smile rose to the left and he nodded. I wasn't sure what he found so amusing, or what exactly his plan was, but he seemed keener than he had been.

"We break," Jasper said, pulling the cues from the rack on the wall and patting the skeleton guy on the head.

"How's that fair?"

"You're one of the best players I've seen. If you break we don't have a chance in hell."

We played three games; they won every time. Alice was a terrible player, but with a little help from me her game was improving with each turn she took. I wasn't a sore loser by any means, but I felt bad leaving Leah alone for so long. She got along with everyone, but she was here to see me.

"Alright guys, have fun, I'm off to find Leah."

"Thanks, Bella," Alice sang, putting the cue back on the wall. The moment I left the room she seemed to follow suit and headed toward the bar, leaving Jasper and Edward playing another game against one another.

"What the hell's up with Alice lately?" Rosalie asked as I approached, her eyes following Alice as she slid up to the bar and took a shot of tequila. "She's been so jumpy."

"I don't know, but it's been going on all week."

"It has?"

"Rose, how spaced out were you? You didn't realize she was sitting next to you all week?"

"She was?"

"Do you think maybe she likes Jasper? Crushing on him a little perhaps?" Leah asked, turning her back to Emmett so he wouldn't overhear our conversation.

Rosalie looked between Leah and me, concern making her pale skin look even more alabaster. Whatever reaction I'd been expecting, it hadn't been that. I looked at Leah and back at Rosalie who seemed to have shaken off whatever had just caused that kind of reaction.

"You okay?"

"I just . . ." she took a deep breath and started again. "I hate my thought process sometimes. I thought about it and I got all defensive, then I realized I am doing the same thing by going after . . ."

She nodded at Emmett and rolled her eyes. I hadn't realized she was still so conflicted by the whole thing. I think I had just assumed the two of them were talking and hanging out.

"You mean you haven't . . ."

"No, I've tried but he spends all his free time with Edward now. I thought . . . I don't know what I thought really, I just—can't walk in these heels," she finished, giving Emmett a grin seeing as he'd stuck his head literally into the middle of our conversation. "Right, I'm off to get a drink, anyone need anything?"

Leah and I shook our head and looked to Emmett.

"Good move, jackass," Leah laughed, pulling off his hat and putting it on her now huge hair.

"What did I interrupt?"

"We were speculating over Alice's odd behavior and deduced that she has a thing for Jasper, which would explain her avoiding him. We also deduced that with all your smarts, you're still a big dummy."

"And how exactly did you manage to get to that conclusion? It's the cravat, isn't it? It should say smart as fuck, instead it's just a big neon dork sign," he chuckled, putting his elbow on Leah's shoulder and leaning against her for support.

"No, it's not the cravat. It's your sense of direction."

"Leah, I adore you; you're like a sister to me, but would you please, for the love of your pimp, stop talking in riddles."

She shook her head, smiled and patted him on the head before walking away in the same direction Rosalie had disappeared.

"So Jasper and Alice, huh? You want me to kick his ass? He's my boy, but I told him if he . . ."

"Emmett," I giggled, squeezing his cheeks together with both of my hands. "Exactly how much have you had to drink? I haven't been gone that long and you smell like a Jack distillery."

"Am I making an ass of myself?"

I shook my head and patted one of his cheeks. I wasn't going to make him feel like shit for having fun. Everyone seemed to be getting slowly inebriated around me, so why shouldn't he cut loose and have some fun?

"Thanks, Bells. Really though, do you think Alice and Jasper . . .?"

"Em, Jasper and I were never dating. If he wants to date Alice, it's fine with me. I mean, sure, I hope he talks to me, but it's no big deal."

"It's weird, I always just figured the two of you would get together. You're not hurt?"

"Ask me again when you're sober and I'll explain it," I giggled. "For now, go and have fun. I'm fine! Rosalie and Leah are fine. Everyone is having fun."

I wandered through the mass of bodies toward the doors and stepped outside into the cooling air of the city. Fall was here so the humidity dropped a little in the evenings, making it pleasant to be outside. I'd meant what I'd said to Jasper all those weeks ago. Nothing had changed there, even after our night together. He and I were still better off friends.

I unzipped the huge boots I was wearing and almost groaned as the flat floor came into contact with the aching balls of my feet. I lowered myself to sit at the edge of the pool, and slid my legs into the water, just enjoying the subdued noise that was coming from the pool house.

I wasn't sure if the speculation about Alice and Jasper was right, but their odd behavior did make all signs point to yes on that front. They had been getting close for a while now, and I had been seeing Jasper alone less and less. I wasn't complaining by any means; I'd always known that I wanted him more as a friend than anything else. Maybe this would be for the best.

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**A/N: So there was finally some Edward, and finally some Alice and Jasper too by the looks of things lol :) We'll see how that goes!**

**Edward will be popping up again next week, and should be more often from now on. I really shouldn't say that . . . lol . . . oh well! It's said now.**

**Thanks as always to my amazing beta, Annabanana, who's sweet and awesome and kicks my grammar ass into shape, and helps me out with factoids about the great city of New Orleans :)**

**Thank you to miztrezboo, bendingmirrors, hev99 and newmoonaholic for the amazing support. All of you have been fabulous at helping me through freakouts, and brick walls, etc. I wouldn't know what to do without you guys! Love ya!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviews. All of you are so amazing, your questions and theories keep me smiling and my mind working and you're all awesome. I love you guys!**

**Thank you for all the well wishes last week too, I am feeling much better thanks :)**

**Much love and huge hugz ~Weezy  
**


	26. Spiral

_**All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some plot points were inspired by V.C. Andrews and the rest comes from my strange mind. Happy Tuesday :)**_

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**Spiral**

_The dawn to end all nights_  
_That's all we hoped it was_  
_A break from the warfare in your house_  
_To each his own_  
**_The High Road by Broken Bells_**

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_**I thought having everyone together would smooth things out. I figured everyone acting normal, or as close to normal as they could be, would make things better, but it didn't. Even Leah couldn't help shed a light on the situation, because in all honesty we were all together. The only thing she did notice, or at least speculate, was that Alice was acting strange and she believed it was because she had a crush on Jasper.

I knew she was right.

Before leaving, Leah had made me swear to keep her updated on the situation and also made me promise to come home for Thanksgiving.

I had agreed to both but hadn't spoken to anyone about Thanksgiving yet. I didn't even know how this family did that. Did they spend it together like most other families? Mamére had always had me spend it with her and the Clearwater's because she believed in spending time with the people you loved and were thankful for, and I had been happy to, because there was nowhere else I would rather be.

Now, I was torn.

I wanted to spend the holiday with Carlisle and Emmett, and all of my friends, but I also wanted to go home to my family—the people who kept me grounded and loved me unconditionally.

Having two worlds to live in was exhausting, and if it hadn't been for Leah integrating so easily into my life here, I would have given up a long time ago. It wasn't because of my friends; they were amazing and had accepted me easily and with open arms. It wasn't even necessarily my family because Emmett and Carlisle seemed genuinely happy to have me there. Peter, for all his odd behavior and sick relationship with Izzy, didn't make me feel unwelcome either. If I had to give a reason, it was simply that I was homesick. The world here was a different place. Fast paced and scary as hell. Maybe a trip home was exactly what I needed.

I had been going back and forth like this all week. Leah had left early on Sunday morning, leaving me with too much time on my hands again. I didn't want to call Jasper because I didn't want him and Alice to feel weird around me. Emmett was with Edward again, and Rosalie was out shopping with her mom.

Five days later, we were back in this odd dance again. Alice was still avoiding Jasper and practically ran from him in the corridors, and Emmett and Edward were scarce. Emmett at least sat with us at lunch again, but much like Jasper, he sat at the other end of the table with Ben and Peter, who looked a little perplexed at all the attention. Edward didn't even bother; he ended up at the pool most days.

Rosalie was frustrated too by Thursday afternoon. She sat at the table with her chin in her hands, watching as the boys at the end of the table laughed and talked amongst themselves.

"What the hell am I doing wrong?" she sighed, leaning into me and putting her head on my shoulder. "I asked him if he wanted to hang out this weekend, and he told me they were going to the LSU game—which is fine. I just thought maybe he would invite us again."

"Why don't you just tell him how you feel?" I asked. "This dancing around the subject is making you miserable."

"I can't, Bella. I mean I want to try and have a relationship with the guy, but I'm not the first move kinda girl, and this whole thing with Edward just makes it all the more confusing. I mean, was he just saying that to be nice? Did he say something different to Emmett? I can't tell him how I feel because I'm terrified of his rejection."

She sat up, her head leaving my shoulder as she gave off an elongated sigh. I could understand her fear. She was one of the most confident people I knew, but under that exterior, I knew there had to be an inkling of self-doubt. It just so happened Emmett was the reason behind it at the moment.

"Hey y'all," Alice sang, sliding into her seat next to Rosalie. Her eyes flashed to Jasper before looking down at her food as she did everyday.

Since Leah's observation on Saturday, I had been noticing small things like that more and more. I hated the thought that her misery stemmed from her loyalty to me. Maybe it was time to set the record straight with her. Maybe honesty was the best policy so we could all get out of this funk and move on and regain some normalcy.

"Hey Al?" I asked, leaning forward so I could see her past Rosalie. "Do you want to come hang out at my house this weekend? You too, Rose."

"Really? That would be awesome. I have been home every night this week," Alice said, smiling. I'd assumed she was at least hanging out with Jasper in the evening, but apparently her avoidance involved all forms of communication. I gave her a smile and a nod and bumped shoulders with Rosalie.

"How about you?"

"Sorry, made plans with my cousin," she sighed, her hands slapping on the table as she pushed out her chair. "I have to go talk to a teacher about a stupid pop quiz I missed. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye Rose, see you in class."

Alice and I watched her walk away in silence, when she was gone Alice slid into her now vacant chair.

"What was that all about?"

"Just a bad week," I sighed, pushing the fries around my plate. "We all have them."

We talked about our plans for the weekend while we ate. Alice never looked up from her food unless it was to talk to me, and I was beginning to feel as though I had made the right choice the more we spent time together. Alice was such a free spirit; she was spirited and happy most of the time, so seeing her like this was making me miserable.

I had no idea what I was going to say to her, or even how I would bring the subject up, which at least gave me something to do while I locked myself in my room that night. I was hoping Leah would have some words of wisdom. Unfortunately, her phone went to voicemail, which meant one of two things, and I wasn't willing to dissect that right now.

By the time the end of school rolled around on Friday, I had managed to work myself up into a huge mess. I had gone so far in the preparation I had moved on to freaking myself out about it all. It was ridiculous. I knew that, just as much as Leah would have if she could see the mess I'd worked myself into, but I couldn't help my trepidation. The last thing I wanted was to offend Alice. She was one of my closest friends.

Thankfully though, it turned out my anxiety had been pointless.

We were sitting in my room watching movies; both of us shared the same pillow in the middle of the couch, our bodies sprawled out on opposite sides. There was a huge bowl of popcorn on the floor that both of us would sporadically grab a handful of.

I had been working myself up to my speech all day and now I felt ridiculous. Alice really didn't need a speech, I just had to talk to her, or at least get her talking. We were friends, so I needed to start acting like one.

"Hey Al, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," she answered, rolling onto her stomach so she could see me, her ankles crossing. She looked down at me expectantly, her eyes smiling with her amusement.

"What's going on with you and Jasper?"

"What?" There went the smile. I could literally see the panic behind her eyes as she tried to find an answer. Then her answer tumbled out all in one long breath. "Nothing, I don't even hang out with him anymore nothing's going on why would you think something's going on?"

I rolled over onto my stomach so I could see her face; she looked like she was about to start crying.

"Alice, I didn't mean it like that," I laughed, picking up her hand. "I mean you two were close; now all of a sudden you're avoiding one another."

Alice's eyes pooled with unshed tears. Her eyes were wide and apologetic; whatever was going on had been plaguing her. I could see it in her red-rimmed eyes and the way her teeth worried her bottom lip. I wanted to hug her, but I also wanted her to open up.

"I am such a horrible friend. I suck, and believe me, I hate myself more than you ever could."

"Alice, chill out. What the hell are you talking about?"

"The last time Jasper and I hung out, alone—God it's been two weeks now, but I feel horrible. I know that the two of you are, well, I don't know what you are, but I know that you're at least seeing him in some capacity. I never meant for it to happen I swear it."

"Still not following you, Al." I smiled gently, squeezing her hand.

"I almost kissed Jasper. Well, I didn't, we just kind of moved in at the same time then stopped. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I'm sorry, I knew I should have stayed away from him when I realized how attracted I was to him . . . Oh Jesus."

Considering I had figured out the truth after Leah's prompts, this was almost amusing to me. I felt bad for giggling at her when she was pouring out her woes, but it seemed oddly humorous to me. If I thought about it, they made the perfect couple. Yet both respected me so much they fought what they felt and pushed it aside. I had never been in love with Jasper. Our attraction to one another had been based purely on our friendship and both of us had known that from the start. We'd even talked about it. Yet he still fought not to act on his attraction to Alice. I loved them both for that.

"What the hell is so funny?" she screeched, her tears now spilling over her lids and leaving big wet tracks across her porcelain cheeks.

"Alice, Jasper and I were never dating. We, in no uncertain terms, said that we would enjoy one another's company until it didn't work for us anymore. I love him, but I'm not in love with him. I love you both for thinking of me like that, but really, all this heartbreak is for nothing."

"You're not mad?"

"No, why would I be? Alice we're friends, you and me, and Jasper and me. Friends. If you and Jasper are feeling more you should go for it. Jasper is an amazing guy; I think the two of you would be great together."

"God, you're so weird," Alice wailed, burying her head into the pillow.

"I don't know whether I should be offended by that," I laughed, sitting up and pulling my legs under me. I hated that she was crying, that she still felt so bad about all of this while I felt almost liberated. Knowing the truth, all of it made me feel so much better. I loved spending time with Jasper—I would miss making out with him when the opportunity presented itself, but I would rather him and Alice be happy. It had never been a permanent thing, and I could honestly say that it didn't bother me. Especially after having all week to get used to the idea.

"You think I didn't notice?" I asked, my voice a softer tone this time.

Alice looked up at me with her eyes red and puffy, sniveling as she tried to read my expression. "What do you mean?"

"Al, since the day you arrived the two of you have been inseparable, then all of a sudden you're not talking to him, you won't sit by him, you avoid one another unless forced into a social situation. I hate seeing that, and I hate the thought that I am making the two of you miserable. You two have a chemistry with one another, and I'm not going to stand in the way of that."

Alice's wide eyes now suited her gaping mouth. I still didn't quite understand why she was so surprised; I would have thought Jasper would have explained it to her. Not to mention their very obvious attraction to one another. It wasn't until Leah pointed it out that I could see what I had missed all that time, but it had been there since the beginning.

"Bella, you don't understand. He loves you; I can see it when he looks at you. I can't let you break his heart."

"Alice," I sighed, and pulled her into me so I could hug her. "Let me talk to him, just me and him and I won't mention this talk I promise. I'll approach him the same way I did you and get to the bottom of this, k?"

She shook her head in my shoulder, telling me no, but my stubborn side had already made up its mind and there was no stopping me. Jasper and I had talked about this, we'd made our decisions, and he'd even made an effort to keep my virtue intact because he knew it wasn't a permanent thing. I could tell Alice that, but right now I wasn't sure it would help her in this frame of mind because I was sure I would have to go into further detail and that really wasn't something she needed to know.

"Do you feel better at least?" I asked, sitting back and catching her eyes.

"I do, at least the truth's out there. I was so worried you would hate me, Bella."

"Why would I hate you? I thought Jasper would have explained our relationship to you."

"He did, but if you could just see the way he talks about you. And then when we almost kissed, he looked horrified, like . . . I don't know. But it was horrible."

"You probably caught him off guard. And I don't mean in the kissing sense," I finished when she moved to correct me. "When I say that, I mean he probably didn't expect to feel attracted to you. Jasper acts like a flirt but he's really a monogamous kind of guy I think."

"And he loves you."

I wasn't sure how to make her understand. Nothing had really changed since Jasper and I had had the conversation before my birthday party. In fact, we hadn't made out in forever. If I had to pinpoint a time that it had happened it was after our evening together. I knew Jasper loved me, he was one of my best friends, but much the same as I knew I wasn't in love with him, I knew he wasn't in love with me.

"He doesn't. He's one of my best friends, Alice, but we're not in love."

"It doesn't matter, Bella. Neither one of us will act on anything; we both love you and respect you. It was a stupid mistake and I just have to get over my stupid crush on him."

Now we were talking in circles. It was pointless trying to change her mind without talking to Jasper. So I waited. Saturday I spent the day with Alice and finally got her laughing. We watched movies again that night and just had fun together, neither of us mentioning our conversation the previous night.

Alice was an amazing person to be around. She could make hours disappear and talk about anything. I was envious of her in some ways. Her parents let her choose her own style and she more often than not wore band tees and jeans with Chuck Taylor's. Being one of the shortest people I knew, I almost expected her to be the girlie-girl that wore heels and make up, but she wasn't. She was just Alice.

The moment she left on Sunday morning, I did two things. The first was to call Leah and tell her what a smart-ass know-it-all she was. The second was to call Jasper and see if he was free to hang out.

He was.

"Hey sexy." He grinned, meeting me at the front door before taking me up to his room. He waved off his parents as I entered, but I smiled and waved anyway. I had spoken to Mrs. Whitlock before and she was always so welcoming with me. I enjoyed our chats the days I got here too early and had to wait for Jasper to get home.

We got to his bedroom and fell on his bed at the same time—me sitting up, and him on his back. He tugged on my shirt and pulled me back so I was lying beside him. We both looked at one another for a long while, neither of us moving or saying a word.

"Jazz, what happened between you and Alice?" I started, knowing that I couldn't say that I had already spoken to Alice. I figured it had worked with her. Maybe it would work with him too.

"What do you mean?"

I raised my eyebrows. He was so much more cautious than Alice had been. I could see that guilt behind his eyes but they were guarded, the blue coming down heavily to block the emotion before I could read too much into it. I pushed the blond strands back from his forehead with the hand closest to him and grinned.

"You like her don't you?"

"Bella," he sighed, his hand catching mine and pulling it to his chest where I could feel the hammering of his heart.

"Jazz, why are you doing this to yourself? We talked about this. We said that if someone came along we were interested in we'd just go back to being friends."

"Would you believe me if I told you I was a greedy bastard and wanted you all to myself?" I would have laughed but I could see the seriousness create a protective barrier between us. I had never seen him like this before; he was always the joker, the smiler that fought to make things easier. Now here he was, vulnerable and a little defensive.

"What the hell are you talking about, Jasper?" I asked, rolling onto my side and propping my head up with my hand.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me, do you?" he said, turning his head to look at me. "I do like Alice, Bella. There's something about that girl that I can't stop thinking about, but I'm torn apart because I can't let you go. I don't know if I can unblur the line between us. You're probably more my best friend than Peter has ever been. You understand me, I don't want to lose that."

"You're not going to, Jazz. I will always be there for you. I will always be your friend; we're just eighty-sixing the kissing and the touchy-feely. Nothing's really gonna change. I will still love you without being in love with you."

"But what if I want to grab your boob?" he asked, the serious veneer of his face cracking and allowing the smile to shine through.

"You're a sick puppy," I snorted, covering my face with my palm to cover the sound. "Why would you want to touch my boobs when you'll have a girlfriend, whose boobs will be at you beck and call?"

"Bella, I can't date Alice."

"Why not?" I asked confused, my brows furrowed but relaxed when his thumb ran over them.

"Because it will hurt you. If it was anyone else, someone outside the group, I could probably do it because I wouldn't feel as though I was rubbing it in your face, but we're all so close. My fear of hurting you wouldn't make a great relationship, and I'm pretty sure I could say the same for Alice. She loves you."

"Jazz, I'm not going to stand between you and Alice. You like her, she likes you, and I think it may be weird at first, but not a bad weird where I will avoid you. It'll just take a little getting used to. The sooner you jump in there, the sooner the awkward will go away."

"No, Bella," he said softly as he turned his head to look at the ceiling of his room.

"You're a stubborn ass, Jasper Whitlock."

"You're a selfless seductress, Isabella Swan," he said, turning to look at me again and winking.

"That was a contradiction. But you should know I won't be letting this drop. What if I decided I was in love with Ben?" I asked, my mind not picturing the dark haired boy with glasses. My mind formed a perfect picture of Edward Masen instead, but I would never say that out loud. "Would you expect me to just ignore how I felt? You call me selfless, but you're being self sacrificing to the point of idiocy. You being with Alice would make me happy because I think I know how you feel about each other. I saw it before you stopped talking to each other, I just didn't pay attention."

"I think I would be jealous if you were in love with Ben. Did he ask you out?" Jasper asked, feigning concern.

"Shut up, you know what I'm saying," I giggled, slapping his stomach with my hand. "I'm making a point and I am asking you to be considerate of that and really think about what you want. You know my feelings on this now. You know that you have not only my hopes but my encouragement as well."

"Let's just see how everything plays out."

"Of course you would say that," I laughed, pushing him with my free hand. "Always so non-committal."

"Knock knock," a voice said from the door, drawing our attention to it. Edward was leaning against the door jam, his eyes guarded and hands behind his back, his hair still the perfect copper mess it always was. I fought back the blush as the thoughts ran through my head.

Ever since the Halloween party, I had been daydreaming about him whenever we simply crossed paths. His emerald eyes were always so intense as he gazed at me, his long fingers running through the mess atop his head as his lips rose slowly to smile at me. It was like watching a movie when everything goes to slow motion. I felt ridiculous.

"I came to get my wallet. I left it here last night."

"Oh shit, you left it in the pool house, right?" Jasper said, sitting up, his body extending further so he was stood. "I'll be right back."

I watched him slide past Edward and disappear down the hall, his footsteps fading with each step. Feeling a little uncomfortable, I sat up and pulled my legs under me, my eyes constantly straying to Edward. I didn't even know what to say to him. How was it possible I could think about him so much?

"I didn't mean to interrupt," he said, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed.

"Oh you didn't," I smiled, trying to swallow the word vomit before it escaped. Too late apparently. "I was just trying to convince Jasper to date Alice."

Edward's eyebrow rose on his forehead in surprise. He pushed off and took a few steps forward, his eyes still guarded as though he were trying to put something together. "Aren't you and Jasper seeing one another?"

"No, just friends, well, more complicated than that but I think we've grown out of the complicated part." I snapped my mouth shut, feeling like an idiot. I needed to shut up. I kept talking and making absolutely no sense whatsoever.

"It's really none of my business. I'm sorry if I made you feel awkward."

"No it's really no big deal."

"You coming to the swim meet next week?" he asked, fiddling with something on Jasper's desk, his eyes not meeting mine.

"When is it?" I asked, trying to sound cool while not falling over myself to confirm my attendance. I was being ridiculous again, but I couldn't seem to help myself.

"Wednesday after school."

"Probably, is the team any good?" I asked, smirking.

Edward chuckled but looked at me this time. His lips were curled into his lopsided grin. "Depends if we have the right audience."

My smirk turned into a full-blown smile as I flipped my hair over my shoulder. I knew we were flirting again but there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was like the most natural thing in the world for me. I couldn't deny my attraction for him now. The daydreams had been bad, but the way my heart reacted to certain looks or mannerisms of his, I knew that I was hopeless. There was just nothing I could do about it.

"Hmm," I hummed. "I may have to check out this team one afternoon at their practices. I wouldn't want to embarrass myself."

"See you on Monday then," he challenged, his green eyes sparkling playfully.

I smiled and nodded. Before I could retaliate, Jasper came back into the room and handed Edward his wallet.

"Thanks, man. See you both tomorrow."

"Bye, Ed."

"Bye, Edward."

He gave us both a wave without looking back and shut the door behind him. Jasper fell onto the bed next to me and pulled me down so my head was resting against his chest. "Now, where were we?"

"I was convincing you to start dating Alice."

"You don't give up do you?"

"No sir, not when it's something I know I'm right about."

I could hear his eyes roll at me, even if I couldn't see them. He knew I was right and he knew it made sense. I knew what I was doing; I knew that the little green monster would rear its ugly head, but I wouldn't hold it against them, and they would never know about it.

Jasper and Alice would make a cute couple, there was no doubt about it, and I knew that if they gave themselves a chance, they could work well. I'd seen them together before the sexual tension had pushed them to almost kiss. I just hoped they wouldn't hold back because of me.

* * *

**A/N: It seems we may have more Edward in a Speedo yet! Bella needed to clear the air with these two and I hope it wasn't super boring, although I really couldn't resist having her and Jasper have one last cuddle :)**

**Thank you to my awesome beta, Annabanana, who fixes my grammar and punctuation and makes my writing better. She's awesome!**

**Thanks as always to my girls, Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic, for holding my hand and slapping sense into me when necessary.**

**I would also like to thank all of you for reading and reviewing. You're all amazing and every week I love hearing about what you think is going on and your guesses for the future and the great divide between Edward and Jasper lol. You keep me smiling and inspired and for that I love you all!**

**Much love and huge hugz ~Weezy~  
**


	27. Merger

_**All things Twilight belong to the Amazing Stephenie Meyer, some plot considerations can be attributed to the V.C. Andrews, and the rest, well they come from my strange mind . . . Happy Tuesday :)**_

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**_**Merger**

_And if I'm gonna talk  
I just wanna talk  
Please don't interrupt  
Just sit back and listen  
**Last Flowers by Radiohead**_

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**_

I still hadn't managed to change Jasper's mind, but in no uncertain terms I had told him that I had already made my decision. I was almost glad I'd told Edward I would come to his swim practice because I hoped it would give Alice and Jasper a chance to talk. I'd even called Rosalie to explain what I'd done. She really didn't seem that surprised by my decision and began pushing me about Edward.

It was strange; everything within the group had become a jumbled mess. Emmett and Rosalie, although highly attracted to one another, seemed to be avoiding one another more and more. Maybe that's why Rosalie was taking such an interest in pushing me at Edward. Maybe it would make her feel better if she knew he was dating someone else. Either way, it was just all messed up and tangled.

Jasper and I whispered through our first few classes, especially after I told him he had his chance at lunch to talk to Alice.

"Bella, will you stop pushing?" he mumbled under his breath while his head hung over the book. We were supposed to be reading the assigned chapter, but I'd already read ahead so it was a moot point. I knew Jasper had read it already, even if his eyes were scanning the print.

"I just think you should at least be friends again; I mean, avoiding one another is ridiculous."

"To you, maybe," he sighed, his elbow finding purchase in my ribs.

"Well, I won't be there, regardless. So do what you have to. Just don't make her feel ostracized."

"Where are you going?" he asked, turning the page of his book as he looked up to see if we were being watched.

I felt a slight dilemma. Would he guess my attraction to Edward if I said I was going to swim practice? I didn't want him to think I was pushing for him to talk to Alice so I was free to talk to Edward, because that really wasn't the case, and I honestly didn't believe Edward was interested anyway. So did I lie or tell the truth? If I lied and he found out, it would look as though I was hiding something.

"The pool. I figured that I would check out the team before the meet Wednesday."

"You're going to that?" he asked, laughing.

"Yeah, why?"

He shrugged and scrutinized the page before looking around the room and then right at me. "No one goes to swim meets here. I don't know why, we just never have."

"Supportive bunch, aren't you?"

"You want some company?" he asked, still feigning interest in the chapter while resting his head on his hands and turning the page.

"No, you need to talk to Alice today, and I'll ask Ange to go on Wednesday, wouldn't want you to accidentally be supportive, and my god what if you're seen?" I added, my teeth sinking into my lip to hide the smile.

"You said things weren't going to change," he accused. "Yet here you are, avoiding me."

"Oh don't be such a baby, Jasper. I'm not avoiding you; I'm giving you an opportunity. You're still one of my best friends," I said, leaning into him and putting my head on his shoulder.

"Miss Cullen, would you like to share with the class what you find so urgent that you need to talk about it during the reading?"

"I was just asking Jasper if he understood the factorization of the polynomial. I had some questions regarding the passage in the book."

Mr. Finke nodded and went back to scrutinizing the rest of the class, his interruption effectively ending the conversation between Jasper and me. Even if he was sitting next to me holding in the chuckle at my being caught.

I asked Angela if she wanted to go with me on Wednesday, and she seemed excited at the idea, inviting me to her house afterward. I hadn't been spending much time with her lately so I accepted gratefully.

Before I made my way to the pool, I dropped into the cafeteria and picked up a couple of sandwiches. I didn't know if Edward would want to eat, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to get him one. The pool was empty when I got there, so I climbed up the bleachers and sank onto one of the benches, leaning back against the wall behind me.

It was quiet in here, the smell of chlorine making it seem sterile. I could hear the muffled shouts of the guys in the locker room as they changed and antagonized one another. Even the slamming of lockers echoed dully through the large room, bouncing from the bare walls and tiled floor, almost as though it was anticipating the arrival of the group.

My phone went off in my bag as I sat in the silence and waited. I knew who it would be—she'd been texting me for the last couple of days because of the upcoming holiday. It was only a couple of weeks until Thanksgiving, and I would be going to the Bayou to celebrate with the Clearwater's. Thankfully, things seemed to work out in my favor. Dad was being dragged to some Event in New York by Tanya, Emmett and Peter were going to their Dad's, and Izzy had already made it perfectly clear she would be spending the time off with Jessica. So I was free to do what I pleased.

'_Hey biznitch, mom says she has a surprise for you when you get here!__'_

_'What is it?__'_ I responded, hitting send and looking up to see the guys enter the pool area. Their uniforms were practically indecent. They really didn't leave much for the imagination. All of their eyes seemed to gravitate toward me, some of them looking unsure of what to think about my presence. It wasn't until Edward stepped out with his relaxed smile and gave me a wave that any of them relaxed. My eyes roamed over his toned body, and I felt the blush rise to my cheeks and tried to distract myself. When Peter stepped out and looked up, he gave me the finger, which I returned happily.

Hanging out with him more because of Jasper had made us both a little more accepting of one another. He still had the ability to creep me out when his eyes went walkabout, but other than that, we antagonized one another playfully, the finger being our standard greeting.

I tried as best I could to keep my eyes from Edward's body as he stood half naked and stretching while talking to one of the guys next to him. It was almost as if his groin had magnetic powers to attract my eyes, the perfect V of his waist dipping under his bathing suit was like an arrow guiding my eyes to where I shouldn't be looking. I was grateful when my phone chirped next to me. It meant I would have to rip my eyes from the scene in front of me.

'_She won't tell me, she said it's a surprise for both of us. What are you doing?__'_

I thought about my answer before typing it in. I knew she would have something witty to say when I explained where I was and what I was doing, and if I threw in the invite she would practically maul me with accusations I only wished could be true. I almost laughed at myself. It wasn't as though she wouldn't figure it out.

'_Swim practice, Edward invited me!__'_

I looked up at Edward again and smiled before he dived into the pool. All the while, I was counting in my head, knowing exactly how long it would take Leah to answer. Almost to the exact count, my phone chirped in my hand.

'_You have a picture phone! You better use it Isabella Swan.__'_

I was giggling so hard I almost choked while trying to keep myself quiet. The guys on the team seemed dubious enough about my presence, I didn't want to give them a complex and get myself thrown out. I bit my tongue as I typed back an answer.

'_You're a perv Leah Katherine Clearwater, but I will take pics for you!__'_

I moved to the picture screen and tried to take a picture without being too obvious about it. There was really only one person I wanted to capture anyway. I knew Leah would give me crap about it, but I could take it. I had finally admitted the schoolgirl crush I had on him to myself; that in itself meant that Leah already knew. She had a way of figuring these things out long before I did.

"Hey you. Up there in the bleachers," a voice shouted from down by the pool. "Are you taking pictures?"

I looked up to see the coach scowling at me and I shook my head. "No sir, text messaging."

"What are you doing here?" he asked, his eyes scrutinizing me and making me squirm.

"She's waiting for me—I invited her," Edward shouted from the other end of the pool. Peter was next to him talking to someone outside of the pool but stopped to look at Edward.

"A warning would be nice, Masen."

"Well I figured it was time for the swim team to have a cheerleader, coach."

"I don't see any pom poms," someone else shouted, setting off a chorus of laughter and making me blush scarlet.

"Shut up, Yorkie, don't be a dick."

"Enough, all of you. Get back to practice. And you," he said, turning to me. "Put your phone away or I'll have to ask you to leave."

"Yes sir," I conceded, sliding my phone into the pocket of my backpack and zipping it.

I watched them practice for thirty minutes before the coach called the end of official practice. Some of them stayed in the pool, doing laps, but Edward gave me a wink and rushed into the changing room. I was actually kind of impressed with them. They seemed like a strong team. I knew it must be close to the end of the season for them, but I made a decision to actually come to the rest of the meets they had before it was over with. If for no other reason than to watch Edward's body cut through the water.

I knew I shouldn't be thinking about him like this. I knew the best I could hope for was friendship, considering the circumstances. I knew that it was unlikely I could get past looking at him as Rosalie's boyfriend, and I couldn't help but admit how much that saddened me.

"Hey, thanks for coming," Edward said, jogging up the stands toward me. His smile was broad as he slid onto the bench next to me, looking the picture of ease.

"No problem," I grinned, opening my bag and handing him one of the sandwiches. "Figured I would bring us lunch."

"Thank you." He smiled, leaning against the wall behind him and unwrapping the sandwich. "So what do you think? You gonna be embarrassed coming to cheer us on?"

"Hmm, still not sure," I said thoughtfully, looking down at the guys still doing laps. "There was this one slow guy who I think would make it impossible for you guys to win."

"Oh yeah," he chuckled, looking at me as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, his name was Masen or something. A real let down to the team."

Before I could even blink, Edward was on his feet, hoisting me over his shoulder. He started toward the stairs, and I could see that my squeals had attracted the looks from the rest of the people in the room.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, I figured I better let you show me how it's done."

"I was kidding," I squealed, trying not to wriggle too much considering he was on the stairs. "I take it back."

"Hmm, figured you would," he laughed, putting me on my feet and stretching to his full height.

I slid past him and headed back toward my bag. "I do take it back. I don't think he was slow; I think he was swimming backward."

Edward stepped toward me, but I anticipated it and took off down the row of bleachers, my heels clicking on the cement and echoing through the room along with my giggles. As soon as I hit the end of the row, I took off down the stairs and cut through one of the lower rows toward the other end, but he anticipated the move and hopped down the bleachers, catching me in his arms. He managed to pin my arms to my side as he pulled me back against his chest, his mouth bowed until he was close to my ear.

"You really want to go swimming don't you?"

"Me?" I asked innocently, trying to swallow the fits of giggles. "I think you're the one who needs the practice."

"Oh, you're in trouble now."

He hoisted me into his arms, one firmly behind my back and the other behind my knees as he started down the stairs again. This time not stopping when I tried to take it back. My arms wrapped around his neck and clung on for dear life as he approached the water. Whatever soap he used seemed to compliment his natural musk; it surrounded me as I buried my head into his shoulder while I clung to him.

"You wouldn't."

"Is that a challenge?"

"No," I squeaked, pulling back from him a little and looking behind me. He was right at the edge, my body over the water. "Please."

"I will have to think for a moment, unless, of course, you retract your statement in front of everyone."

"Edward Masen is the best swimmer on the team," I said loud enough for the people in the pool to hear. Then I dropped my voice to a whisper. "Please put me down."

His hands disappeared from under me for a split second, his laughter filling the room as he caught me again. My fingers dug into his shoulder muscles as my heart leaped into my throat. He took two steps back from the edge and lowered me to my feet, his eyes shining mischievously.

"You need to be more specific there, Bella."

My arm gripped his forearm as I tried to steady myself. The room was full of laughter. I slapped my hand against the arm I was holding and tried to catch my breath. Edward was just laughing along with the rest of them, and I finally joined in.

"I can't believe you did that," I whispered to him while we walked back up the stairs.

"Well, you were the one who was being mean."

I rolled my eyes and fell back onto the bench next to my bag as Edward took his seat next to me and picked up his sandwich again. It wasn't until I let my eyes roam around the room that I realized everyone was still watching us curiously.

"I think we made a scene," I blurted, turning my head to Edward but not taking my eyes off the faces that were scrutinizing our every move.

"I wasn't lying when I said we don't get many spectators," he said, drawing my eyes to him. "You're like an anomaly."

"Why? Do you lose a lot?" I asked, smirking. I knew I was pushing my luck, but I was having fun.

Edward scoffed, swallowing the bite of the sandwich he'd taken. "We're the best in our division. Four state championships under our belts. I think we're just not interesting enough."

"A team of half naked boys in water? What's not to like?" I said, blushing when I realized what I'd just said.

"Are you blushing?"

"Yeah, I do that a lot," I admitted, unwrapping my own sandwich.

"The color suits you."

I rolled my eyes and looked over at him, giving him my best "seriously?" look. He laughed and went back to eating again. Both of us sat in silence while we ate. It was nice—it wasn't a loaded silence or uncomfortable. It didn't even need to be filled with idle chatter; it just was, and we just enjoyed each other's company.

I was beginning to garner hope that he and I could be friends rather than simple acquaintances. He was Emmett's best friend, and I knew it had been awkward for Emmett on more than one occasion when I first started hanging out with him and his friends. There had been tension between Edward and me, and I was sure Emmett felt stuck in the middle of that, unsure of what the animosity between us was. If I was being honest, I still didn't know, and I didn't exactly buy the story Rosalie had given me.

It wasn't that I didn't trust her, because I did. Implicitly, in fact, but I did wonder if maybe she was seeing something that wasn't there. Sure, Edward and I were beginning to flirt rather shamelessly, but it wasn't enough to interpret into him liking me. Our friendly banter reminded me of my friendship with Jasper, without the groping.

Thinking about this as much as I had been quickly got me to the end of the school day. I hadn't been paying attention in any of my classes and hoped to God there wouldn't be a pop quiz tomorrow.

Thankfully, there wasn't, and I was happy to see that Alice and Jasper were back to sitting with one another at lunch the next day. It seemed to bring a sense of normalcy with it, and I finally felt the odd behavior of the last couple of weeks dissolve into nothing. Even Rosalie seemed a little brighter. Even if she was watching Emmett with wide, hopeful eyes.

Seeing as she was the only one I knew in my history class, I decided to talk to her about it. I had been neglectful since the previous week, and I really did want to help her. I knew how Emmett felt about her, and even though I would never betray him and tell her what I knew, I felt as though I had to do something.

"Hey Rose," I said, leaning closer to her while the teacher excitedly talked about the civil war and the effects it had on the government. "How is everything going? You had any luck yet?"

"No," she sighed, writing down some of the information on the board. "I think I was wrong, I don't think he feels the same way about me."

I could hear the sadness emanating from her voice as though she were convincing herself as well as me. I knew better, but I refused to put Emmett in that position. Maybe he was the one I should be talking to. It wasn't as though Rosalie hadn't tried, she wasn't the one hiding behind her best friend and avoiding the situation. That was all Emmett.

"Don't give up now," I encouraged her. I hated to see her down, especially seeing as she had been so cheerful at lunch. Rosalie was a confident person—she was beautiful, had the perfect figure, and she was smart. I was certain that rejection hadn't been in her vocabulary until now. After Edward breaking up with her and Emmett seemingly avoiding her. I could understand why she felt the way she did.

"I'm fine, Bella," she smiled at me, her shiny veneer cracking slightly.

I nodded and dropped the subject. I still rode home with Emmett everyday. Maybe that was the perfect opportunity to talk to him about all this. I hated getting involved in the lives of others, but I was curious. Had Edward given Rosalie his blessing and told Emmett to stay away? Now that I knew him a little better, it didn't seem likely, but then, I wouldn't have thought Izzy was capable of feeding me a drug to get me into trouble. If there was something I'd learned being here, it was that not everything was what it seemed.

I tried to pay attention for the rest of the day, but it was impossible with Jasper sitting next to me. He was distracting me all afternoon, passing notes telling me how bored he was. We ended up using almost a whole notebook of paper discussing what we should do this weekend, and we still hadn't come to a conclusion.

When I got out to the truck, I almost rolled my eyes. Peter was leaning against it, smirking as I approached.

"What are you doing here?"

"Parking pass was revoked again. Well, yours was, you naughty girl," he laughed. "So I have to ride with Emmett until the suspension is over."

"What the hell did you do?"

"I may or may not have parked half in the principal's space and half in my own. Forcing him to park all the way at the back and walk his lazy ass to the school."

"Would it have killed you to straighten out?" I asked, rolling my eyes and leaning against the truck as far from him as I could get.

"No, but I was running late and I couldn't be assed."

"Of course you couldn't. How did you get to school this morning?"

"I have my ways." He winked.

I rolled my eyes and waited for Emmett to arrive, annoyed that our privacy for the conversation I wanted to have with him had been taken away. We rode home in silence; Emmett made Peter sit in the back, ignoring his protests. Emmett had explained to him that we'd been riding together for months, and that wasn't going to change just because he was an idiot.

It didn't exactly appease Peter, but it did shut him up.

I went to the swim meet as promised with Angela. She and I were probably the loudest people there. The other team's section was almost full with banners and signs and people cheering encouragement. There were only the parents of the swimmers and some of the academic students sitting in our section, so Angela and I didn't mind making fools of ourselves, sitting at the front and cheering on the swimmers for our school.

When Edward finally came out, Angela and I went wild with our cheering, and I could see the amusement on his face as he got up on the starting block. I heard some of the girls from the other school comment on him but ignored the green beast of jealousy as it raised its ugly head. He wasn't mine to claim, he was just my friend.

I had to admit, the guy could swim. As soon as they started, his body cut into the water with ease. His arms, muscular and defined, made him travel through the pool with a grace I didn't know a swimmer could possess. He made it look easy.

Angela and I chanted his name, jumping up and down as he made his laps. It was easy to see he was winning—at the end, he was practically half a lap ahead. Nonetheless, Angela and I screamed and cheered as if it were a close call, which had Edward fighting the laugh I could see easily in his eyes.

He invited us out to celebrate with the team after, but Angela and I declined. We'd already told her parents I was coming home with her and they'd made us both dinner. We ate quickly and spent the rest of the evening in her room, talking about the guys in the swim team. Even Angela seemed surprised by them.

"See anything you like?" I asked with a giggle, praying she wouldn't say Edward.

"Not on the swim team." She grinned, her teeth digging into her bottom lip as I raised my eyebrows.

"Go on," I insisted, rolling onto my knees in the middle of her bed.

"Well, you know it's not Emmett. We talked about that." I could see the stain on her cheeks as her eyes got that faraway look I knew could be attributed to thinking about whoever had captured her attention.

"Ange, you're killing me. Spill already," I begged, bouncing like a cocker spaniel.

"I can't," she squealed, hiding her face in the palms of her hands. I rolled my eyes and pried her hands from her face, kneeling on them so she couldn't use them to hide behind again.

"Yes, you can."

She couldn't fight the smile on her lips. Or the giddiness that seemed to accompany his name bubbling up her chest. For a second her eyes went glassy, and I got scared that she would say Peter.

"Ben Chaney," she blurted. She pulled her hands out from under my knees and rolled onto the bed, hiding her face in her pillow. Once the relief of it not being Peter had sunk in, I smiled. Ben was a sweet guy; he always had a girlfriend, but Angela was beautiful. She could easily catch his eye if I set Rosalie loose on her.

"Why are you hiding?" I laughed, pulling her up from the bed. "Ben's sweet and cute."

"But he's Ben!"

"Don't worry, leave it to me." I grinned.

"Don't you dare tell him."

I laughed and help my hands palm up in a peace offering. "The thought didn't cross my mind. I have something better up my sleeve."

"Bella," Angela started, but I held up my hands stopping her.

"I'm going to get water. Do you need anything?"

"No thanks, oh, and be warned, my brother's home."

I tried not to roll my eyes as I backed out of the door. Angela didn't hold my slight aversion to her brother against me. In all honesty, she'd confided in me that he'd never done that before. Which only served to make me feel weirder.

I made my way downstairs quickly and headed into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Unfortunately, James was already in there.

"Hey Bella."

"Hey James, I'm just grabbing some water." I walked to the refrigerator and pulled it open, feeling his eyes on my back as I reached in for a bottle.

"How's school going?"

"Good, how about you?" I asked, figuring it was harmless to ask considering he wasn't being as leery as he had the last time I was here. I shut the refrigerator door and leaned against it as I waited for him to answer.

"Not bad, I shifted some of my classes around so I could get long weekends."

"Must be nice," I smiled and pushed off the refrigerator. "See you later."

I headed out the kitchen and straight back upstairs, happy that I had managed to be civil. Angela lifted her eyes to mine the moment I walked in.

"Right, now to put my plan into action!" I grinned, hopping onto the bed and picking up my phone.

"Bella, what are you doing?"

"Calling in the cavalry."

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**A/N: I think I promised you guys another round of Edward in the pool. I hope it was worth the wait :) Their comfort level has definitely shifted :)**

**Thanks to my awesome beta, Annabanana, who fixes all my atrocious grammar and punctuation mistakes. she's twenty shades of awesome!**

**I would also like to thank, Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic for always managing to keep me sane and for holding my hands and telling me when I am being a complete and utter idiot. It happens a lot ;)**

**As always, thank you to all of you who review. Every week you keep me smiling, and as always your theories and questions keep me on my toes. I try and answer as many as possible, even if I do have to go cryptic sometimes :) You're all awesome and I love ya all loads!**

**Much love and Huger Hugs ~ Weezie ~  
**


	28. Thankful

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, the rest to my crazy brain :) Happy Tuesday . . . sorry it's a wee bit late!_**

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_**

**Thankful**

_I'll try to hold on tight tonight  
Pink slip inviting me inside  
Want to burn skin and brand what once was mine  
But the red views keep ripping the divide  
**Panic Switch - Silversun Pickups**_

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Weeks passed quickly and I found myself splitting my time between the different groups of friends I had made. We spent time together as a group more often than not. Not even Jasper and Alice paired off; they had become better friends but they still weren't even trying to date. Well not as far as I knew anyway. If they were keeping it low key for my sake, they were doing a fabulous job of it, but Alice swore that they were only friends. I think she believed it's what I wanted to hear, but in truth it frustrated me.

Anyone could see the attraction they held for one another, and I had gracefully removed myself from the situation to give them a chance to flourish. I think I was eager to see their first time holding hands or kissing so I could deal with it and move on. All of this suspense was killing me.

Rosalie and I had given Angela a makeover, subtly changing her appearance and trying to give her more confidence as we dragged her to our lunch table. She seemed to be enjoying herself and the attention she was getting from some of the other guys, but it was still Ben's attention she sought. Finally, after weeks of trying, he was starting to watch her more and striking up random conversations with her. Rosalie and I were ecstatic.

Thanksgiving was just around the corner and there was a buzz about the school because of the week's vacation we would get with it. I was leaving on Sunday night after Dad and Tanya left and Emmett grudgingly went to his father's. I'd told him he was more than welcome to come with me, but he wanted to give his dad another chance. I could understand that.

I still hadn't had a chance to talk to him about Rosalie, mainly because Peter seemed to be a permanent fixture around us these days. He still spent a great deal of his time working for his dad, but generally while he was off doing that, there was always someone else around. So I made it a point to find him alone that weekend. It would at least give him some time to think about it before he had to see Rose again.

So Sunday morning, I got up early. I knew everyone else would be sleeping in after the evening we'd spent together, but much like I, Emmett was an early riser and I knew I would find him in the kitchen cooking breakfast.

"Morning." I smiled, sliding in behind him to get to the coffee he'd already put on.

"Hey, you looking forward to seeing Leah tonight?"

"Yeah, it's been a while since I saw her last—Halloween, I think. It's gonna be fun, Sue always cooks way too much food."

"Maybe I will join you then. Dad just orders shit from restaurants. You want some waffles? They're blueberry."

"If there's enough, yes please."

Emmett went back to what he was doing while I slid into a chair at the table and sipped on my coffee. I was still a little nervous about sticking my nose into his business, but I hated seeing them both so miserable. Rosalie had cheered a little over the last couple of weeks, but that was due to her resignation and the distraction helping Angela had provided. She confessed to me that she had given up and was leaving the ball decidedly in his court.

When he finally came to sit at the table, placing the plate in front of me, I thanked him. The smell of the waffles was making my stomach growl. I took a bite, biding my time so he wouldn't think it was the sole reason I joined him this morning. We made idle chatter as we ate, but as the food diminished I knew my time was running out.

"Em, can I ask you something?"

"That sounds ominous coming from you," he chuckled, taking another mouthful.

"I know it's none of my business, but you know Rosalie's single, right?" I asked, my eyes watching for his reaction as I waited for him to speak. He froze at first, his eyes holding mine as I tried to decipher what he was going to say to me. As he relaxed, a little his expression moved through several emotions before settling on curiosity.

He picked up the fork he'd previously put down and cut into his food, finally breaking eye contact with me.

"Yeah, I know, Bella," he sighed, taking a mouthful and chewing it thoughtfully. "And I know what you're going to say, but it doesn't matter. She's still Edward's ex."

"That's ridiculous, Emmett. You're putting your happiness on hold when he gave his blessing?"

Now it was my time to freeze. I hadn't meant to say that and give away Edward and Rosalie's conversation. I bowed my head, trying to avoid his eyes, and chanted for him not to ask what I meant. Only I could start a conversation like that and give away everything I knew in the first five seconds. I was ridiculous.

"How did you know about that?"

"About what?" I asked, playing dumb.

Emmett cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows. There was a ghost of a smile on his lips as he silently challenged me to deny what I'd just said. I rolled my eyes and put my elbows on the table.

"Fine, but this is between you and me. Rosalie and I were talking about it."

"But how would Rose know?" he asked, sitting back in his chair and putting his hands on the table.

"Wait," I said, leaning forward, my eyes narrowing in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Edward and I talked after he broke up with Rosalie and he said it was a lot of things that pulled them apart, but he broke up with her because he could see we had more chemistry than they ever did together. It was a fucking weird conversation; he slapped me on the shoulder and said, 'She's an amazing girl, Emmett. Break her heart and I will have to hurt you.' What are _you_ talking about?"

It really wasn't my story to tell, but Emmett had been candid enough to tell me his side; I figured I owed him an explanation. I just had to make sure this would go no further than the two of us.

"This is still just between you and me?" I asked and he nodded in response, sitting forward again. "Edward talked to Rosalie and said something along the same lines. It's really not my story to tell, but you should know that I believe it was a mutual decision."

It was a slight twist on the truth. Edward had made the decision and broken up with Rosalie, not giving her much of an option. However, after talking to Rosalie, I knew she had agreed with him, that she had herself realized that things wouldn't work out between them.

Emmett's eyebrows rose on his forehead as his hand moved to tease his curls in his frustration and confusion. Which did nothing but make it obvious he hadn't expected that answer.

"But she's been so down lately. I figured it was because Edward broke up with her."

Trying not to offend him, I bit back my laughter. It wouldn't help the situation to ridicule him for being so blind to everything going on around him. Rosalie had been subtle in her own way, not flaunting what she was doing, but as far as her interactions with Emmett were concerned, she could have hit him with an iron skillet and dragged him into a cave and he would be confused by it. I honestly believed he was blinded by his feelings for her. After blocking them out for so long, I could only imagine how difficult it would be to drop that wall for him.

"You really didn't notice, did you?" I said, my voice lilting with surprise.

"Notice what?" he asked. "I swear I need a translator for you girls sometimes."

"Emmett open your eyes. The girl's been throwing herself at you for weeks. She's down because she thinks you're not interested."

"What?" he asked, louder than I expected, and I paused to listen to see if his raised voice had stirred anyone. It wasn't like it was a huge secret, but out of respect for both Rosalie and Emmett, I didn't want to go on about this in front of our siblings.

"You really didn't notice?"

"No, I mean, she asked to hang out a couple times but I thought she was upset about Edward, and honestly, I really didn't think I could handle that because I feel like it's my fault."

"She was subtly asking you out," I laughed, trying to keep it subdued so he wouldn't think I was laughing at him. I just found the whole situation funny; it was all just a huge misunderstanding.

"Jesus, I am such an idiot."

"No," I corrected him. "It is just a weird situation that no one really knows how to handle. I mean, I only asked because I felt bad for encouraging Rose to keep trying. I didn't know if you had changed your mind or something. I know it's none of my business, but . . ."

"No. I'm glad you said something, otherwise I would still be clueless and probably blow any chance at all with her. I mean I still feel weird with her being my best friend's ex, but he's moved on, I think. There's this chick he's interested in."

I tried to quash the disappointment that stirred in my stomach. I knew that the excuse he'd confirmed to Rosalie was simply to appease her in an attempt to help her move on, but it still didn't stop the sting. I wasn't even going to ask who it was, because it was none of my business, and I really didn't think I could process that right now. I wanted to have fun this week, not dwell on my stupid crush being stamped on by the reality of this new girl.

I could already feel a slight shadow falling over my subconscious.

"Are you sure?" Emmett asked, pulling me out of the haze of dissolving disillusion brought on by this new reality.

"Emmett, she's one of my closest friends here. You think I wouldn't know that?"

"Bella, I have never been more grateful for your friendship than I am right now,"—he grinned—"and if you knew how much I respected you already, you'd see how impossible that was."

"I'll just take that as a compliment," I laughed, starting to eat my food again.

"You should."

Our conversation turned a little lighter now that I'd managed to get my thoughts out. Emmett and I discussed Thanksgiving, and I tried once again to give him an open invitation—he promised he would call if he felt he needed to get away.

Slowly the kitchen filled up and the idle chatter started about everyone's plans. The only one who didn't say much was Izzy. She simply sat in her normal spot and ate her breakfast in silence, her eyes occasionally narrowing at me when she caught me watching her. I knew I should probably have invited her home with me, considering she was on her own, but I couldn't get past the acidic relationship we'd shared up to this point. She was poison, her bad attitude and icy veneer sucking the enjoyment out of anything and everything she touched.

I didn't hate her. I pitied her. I wouldn't ruin my Thanksgiving to make her feel included, not this time.

Dad and Tanya left a little after noon. Dad apologized again for being absent for my first Thanksgiving, but I just smiled and nodded. I had already explained the situation with Sue and our traditions, but I didn't want to make him feel as though I were rubbing it in. Especially not with Izzy standing so close to me.

I left for the bayou not long after that, piling all of my comfortable clothes and shoes into a bag, only taking one set of dressy clothes for Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. After driving two blocks and remembering the gifts I'd picked up for everyone were sitting on my dresser, I turned back and hurried into the house to get them. Praying I would be spared the final glare from Izzy for a while.

I managed to get away without an Izzy sighting, but Peter was another story altogether. He gave me a grin and a once over with his eyes before telling me he would miss me. I flipped him the bird and laughed as I skipped out of the house, trying to think if there was anything else I had forgotten.

I got in my car and sank into the seats with a satisfied smile. This would be the first long drive since I'd been home after our birthday party, and I was excited about it.

I took off and finally felt like I could breathe when the congestion of the city fell behind me. The tall trees lining the freeway draped periodically in Spanish moss almost felt like a welcoming embrace from a place I had neglected for so long.

I stopped at a gas station and got something to drink on my way, but regretted it the moment I did. I wasn't sure if it was imagination, but the same creepy feeling that had been plaguing me for months now returned with a vengeance. Only now, I could feel the eyes boring into me as I stepped around my car to climb back in.

My eyes scanned the area, I even scrutinized the dense trees bordering the area I believed it was coming from, but there was nothing. Not even an empty car parked in the general area. Just endless trees towering above the asphalt and cutting into the beautiful cerulean blue November sky. I flicked the button on my key ring and vowed I wouldn't stop midway anymore. Opening the door and sliding into the car, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end as an icy finger of fear trailed down my spine.

I made it home without incident. I couldn't shake the creepy feeling that had followed me all this way until I turned onto the road that led to our small community. The familiarity of it was like a security wall slamming down between me and whatever was giving me that uneasy feeling. The cypress trees that were laced with Spanish moss closed behind me as I traveled up the road. I could see the sycamores in the distance that I knew cradled mamére's house, which brought on a small cloud of sadness, as it always did when I came home. I thought about her everyday, but I still felt neglectful having not been to her grave since she passed.

As soon as I came to a stop outside the Clearwater's house, I felt safe again. Almost to the point where I believed I had imagined the whole thing. Perhaps it was the comforting thoughts and memories of mamére that had pushed it from my mind completely. She had a way about here like that. Even if she wasn't here.

Leah appeared at the doorway with a smile on her lips as I got out of the car and stood in the dwindling heat. I pulled my bag from the passenger seat, hiding the small bag I'd had to return for. Leah hopped down the steps with enthusiasm. "Took ya long enough."

"I told you I was waiting till dad and the monster left."

"Yeah, well I was waiting you dirty slut. What, did you have to say goodbye to Edward first?" she asked, sticking her tongue in her cheek as she goaded me.

"Dammit, why didn't I think of that?" I laughed, pulling a smaller bag out of the one I had gone back to the house for. "I forgot this and had to go back."

"Pour Moi?"

"No, just figured I would dig through the bigger bag and give you something to hold so you'd feel useful," I taunted in return.

"A simple yes would have sufficed, Isabella."

"Since when have I ever done things simply?"

Leah looked me up and down and cocked her head to the side before straightening it again. "True, you are pretty weird."

"Whore."

"Bitch."

"I haven't missed that," Sue laughed, leaning against the jam of the front door, her arms crossed over her chest as she attempted to give me a reproachful look. I could see the smile behind the look though and didn't waste a second hopping up onto the porch to give her a hug.

"I missed you so much, Sue," I said, embracing her.

"I missed you too, Bella. Why don't you come inside? The wind's getting chillier. There's supposed to be a cold front coming through."

I nodded and let her guide me into the house, looking back at Leah and giving her a grin as she opened the bag and peered inside. She smiled broadly and mouthed I love you while doing a little dance. I'd managed to find her the skirt she'd been talking about for weeks. We'd gone when she'd been in town for Halloween but they didn't have it. Thankfully, Rosalie had a talent beyond anyone I knew to hunt down things like that. If I agreed with Izzy on one thing, it was that.

It didn't take long to settle down in the house, and before I knew it, we were all back into the same routine. Leah and I staying up late every night and getting up just as late. We would find ourselves walking along the path of the bayou with the sounds of the marsh hawks and herons as they swooped around the tops of the cypress and oaks. There was a peacefulness about the bayou that I seemed to forget when I was away from it. Every sound and smell seemed to bring back a memory of my life here. Even with the absence of the oppressive heat.

Leah and I had been talking a lot over the week, seeing as Jacob and Seth were pulling extra hours at the garage. Having this much time with her meant I could go into detail about everything that was on my mind. It was like the sun clearing out the fog as it rose into the sky; I was able to gather my thoughts and look at it all so much more objectively.

Leah, though, seemed to be saving the best for last, and decided she and I would be taking a walk before Thanksgiving dinner, especially seeing as Sue had enlisted Seth for his help this year because she knew he would be coming back with me on Friday morning so he could finally see the city that had captured my heart. Not to mention the people whose names he heard frequently.

We were sitting on the dock with our legs dangling over the edge, the water had gone down a little over the summer and we were able to dangle our feet with no fear of getting them wet, or the gators sneaking up on us for that matter. The dim afternoon light filtered through the Spanish moss, painting our skin in delicate patterns.

"Bella, tell me about Edward," she asked, her eyes watching for my reaction.

I had to think about what she wanted to hear and what I wanted to say. My answers had changed since last week. Then I would have gushed and explained all of the little things that I found attractive and endearing, swooning over the qualities that captured my attention. Now though, after Emmett had mentioned his growing emotional attachment to someone else, I was more reserved. I'd been thinking of it all week, mostly when Leah sneaked out in the middle of the night to be with Jacob. I found myself wondering if I would ever have something like that, and my mind would inadvertently turn to Edward.

It lessened with each passing day now.

"What would you like to know?" I responded with a light smile, hoping she could read the warning not to push in my eyes. She'd always said I was an open book.

"What happened?" she asked, shuffling closer to me on the wood planks. The structure groaned even with her small shift of weight.

"Nothing really, we're just friends."

"No, not that. You know what I mean. You were practically giddy last week, and the week before that, and . . ."

"I get it," I sighed, gripping the edge of the plank with my fingers, picking at the splintering wood. "I told you I talked to Emmett about Rose, right?"

"Yeah, what's that got to do with anything?"

"He mentioned Edward is getting over Rosalie and he seems interested in someone else."

Leah laughed quietly, her head hanging and her hair curtaining her face. I wasn't sure what was so funny, but I knew she would explain eventually.

"Have you even considered the fact that it could be you?" she asked, tipping her head to the side so she was looking at me.

I shook my head. Sure, Edward and I were friends now, but there would be nothing more than flirting. You only had to look at Rosalie to understand that I wasn't his type. Rose was beautiful in the breathtaking sense. Perfect features all proportionate to her stature. Blonde hair that never seemed to have a strand out of place. I couldn't touch her in looks, but she was also charismatic and confident. There were no common denominators between us, I had thought about it enough to figure that much out.

"Why not?"

"Have you seen Rosalie?"

Leah pinched the bare skin on my arm and I retracted from her, my mouth open in shock. "What the hell was that for?"

"Being an idiot," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Rosalie's beautiful, I won't deny that. But Bella—you're different people. You're beautiful, sure it's different than Rosalie, but you're still this amazing, beautiful person."

"Lee . . ." I tried to argue, but she put her hand over my mouth to stop me.

"Stop it, Bella. I'm not arguing with you over this. Maybe it isn't you, maybe it is. No matter what, Edward is the idiot if it's not. You're the most amazing person I know."

"You have to say that." I grinned around her hand. "You're my best friend."

"So I know better than anyone how true it is. I hate how self depreciating you are sometimes," she said, dropping her hand and rubbing it on her jeans.

"I'm not saying I'm an ugly tree candidate, Lee. I'm saying I'm not his type."

Leah narrowed her eyes at me and lifted her hand to pinch me again, but this time I shuffled away from her.

"We'll see," she prophesied.

"Yeah, yeah," I laughed, turning as Jacob loped toward us.

Dinner was amazing as always. Everything was spread out over the two tables Sue had borrowed from Billy Black. There were nine of us altogether, Billy and Helen Black, Jacob, Rachel and Rebecca, Leah, Seth and Sue, and me. There was so much food we could have fed an army. As was tradition Billy and Helen had brought a couple of sides to accompany those Sue had made as well as the turkey. Then for dessert there was a huge array of pies with ice cream. It was an enormous feast and we must have been there for hours, picking at things and talking.

Billy, Sue and Helen had so many questions about my family in New Orleans that I was exhausted by the time the meal finally came to a close. They had expressed interest in meeting my twin, but Leah had emphatically told them they shouldn't, which only started a whole new conversation about the evil twin and her plotting for my demise.

It was almost ten before the Blacks left, and I was exhausted. Knowing I would be driving home tomorrow made the exhaustion seem that much more harrowing. I helped Sue clean up, while Leah went for a walk with Jacob, and started on the dishes while Seth dried. He was chattering excitedly about his first trip to New Orleans and was firing endless questions about the French Quarter. Finally, Sue had to take over to simply stop him from talking, sending him outside with the trash while she continued the drying.

"Bella, I'm glad we have a moment alone. I'm sure you know, your mamére made me executor of her will, and I've been trying to sort all that mess out."

"Yes ma'am," I replied, my interest piqued.

"Well, I finally found your mom, sweetheart. I was cleaning the house and the phone rang. She seemed genuinely upset about the passing of your mamére."

"Oh God, is she coming back? I can't be in New Orleans if she is, Sue. If she finds out that I'm living with dad . . ."

"No, no," Sue reassured me, brushing my hair down my back with her fingers. "No need to worry about that; she seemed quite willing to stay away now. I did however talk to her about something else. I hope you don't mind but we discussed the house."

My heart sank in my chest and I had to drop my eyes to keep the shadows forming there from Sue. It would never do for her to see the pain and anger I held towards my mother there. I could only imagine how that conversation had gone.

"I suggested her passing it to you," Sue said quietly, and I couldn't stop my head snapping toward her while my eyes widened with surprise. "I can't lie, Bells, I wasn't exactly nice to her. I know she and I have a lot of history as friends, but I can't condone what she did to you and your family. I didn't say anything about Carlisle, but I used her absence as a weapon. I used her selfishness against her, and she actually signed the papers, placing possession of the house and it's contents into your name and faxed it back to the lawyer."

"How did you manage that?"

"I told her what I thought. We talked about you for a while and how you're doing. She wanted to talk to you but I told her you were at school, which wasn't a lie so much as I just left out the detail of where. She was talking about selling the house and how much she could get for it, and I lost my temper."

"You did?"

Sue nodded before continuing. "I told her I'd never met a more selfish human being in all my life. She sounded pretty affronted by the accusation and asked me what gave me the right. I said, 'What gives me the right, Renée Higginbotham, is looking after your child since your mother passed. She lost the one person in the world that showed her any love. You never cared about her enough, so it was up to your mére to do the job for you. Now that she's gone, you're going to take away the only home your child has ever known? You can't do the right thing one time in your sorry life?' I asked."

"Sue!" I grinned, throwing my arms around her waist, making sure to keep my wet hands away from her dress, and gave her a huge kiss on the cheek. "You lied for me."

"It wasn't a lie, Bella. I meant every last word of it. She's useless and selfish, and I just left out the rest."

"I love you, Sue."

"You're not upset?" she asked, a small smile on her lips.

"Upset? Why would I be upset?" I asked, stepping out of her embrace and looking up at her.

"Well, I told off your mom, and she may not come around for even longer now. You may not get along well, but I know you must at least miss her."

I hung my head. I didn't miss her, not one little bit. In all honesty, I didn't know her well enough to actually miss her. Add to that the fact I abhorred being in her presence. Maybe I was as bad as she was.

"Don't worry," Sue whispered, planting her lips on my forehead and lifting my chin so my eyes would meet hers. "I don't think there's a soul on earth who truly misses Renée anymore. Your mamére missed her, but your love for your children never diminishes. I don't think your mama thought of herself as a mother and doesn't have that instinct in her, but you will always have me, bébe."

"I know," I whispered, giving her a small smile. "Thanks, Sue."

We embraced one last time and finished the dishes in companionable silence. Seth came in and out with new questions, and Sue had to physically swat him out of the room with the dishcloth, threatening not to let him go if he kept it up.

Leah came back not long after, her eyes motioning to her bedroom. I excused myself and followed her in there.

"Where's your phone?"

"In my bag, why?" I asked, kneeling beside it and rifling through my things to find it.

"I got a text from Emmett asking you to call him. He said he's been texting and calling for an hour now."

I dug my phone out and hit the button to activate the screen, dragging my thumb across it as it notified me I had four missed calls and six texts from Emmett "Bro" McCarty.

The first message was simple and short. '_How was dinner? Mine sucked ass and tasted like fast food. Probably because it was! Bring me back some leftovers please._' The second was a little stranger. '_Think the shit hit the fan . . . Call me!_' The Third was more urgent with only two words. '_CALL ME!_' The last was '_Calling Leah if you don't answer soon._'

"What's going on?" Leah asked, crouching beside me as I hit the call button at the top of the messages.

"No idea, but we will soon see," I replied, waiting as Emmett's phone rang.

"Where the hell have you been?" Emmett's voice said, filling the line with frustration. There was a muffled voice in the background but I couldn't make it out so I focused on Emmett's voice.

"I was up to my neck in dishes. Not exactly the best place in the world for my phone. What's going on?"

"You may want to stay away until your dad and my mom get back."

"Why?" I whined into the phone, almost expecting the answer.

"Guess who decided to have a Thanksgiving party and completely destroyed not only the pool house, but most of the kitchen too. Not to mention your bedroom door looks like someone tried to pick the lock with a pick axe."

"What?" I screeched, my head falling into my hands, Leah leaned in, her ear against the other side of the phone so she could hear too. "Did she get in there?"

"Doesn't look like it, but there's some pretty fucking major dents in your door."

I felt all the blood drain from my face. I knew if I went home, I was sure to get partially blamed for the shit that happened, but then taking Seth with me was going to cover my ass in that aspect. Then there was Emmett, I still had his text messages and Sue and Leah to confirm my whereabouts.

"Where is she?" I demanded down the phone. It was just like that selfish bitch to ruin everyone's holiday.

"Throwing up in the bathroom, wanna hear? I was gonna take some video and post it on you tube. It's no less than she deserves."

"Do it," Leah shouted down the phone.

I heard retching on the other end of the phone and Emmett's chuckles, followed by a screamed 'Get out.'

"The place is a fucking shithole," Emmett sighed. "Let me check my room."

There was silence on the other end of the line as he walked around. I could hear the door shutting and his sigh of relief. Then I heard another door open with a muffled scream. "Jesus fucking Christ, get out."

Leah and I looked at one another and both put our ears back to the phone to listen. "Peter's gonna be pissed at you little fuckers."

"Who was that?"

"Sophomores, they were screwing in Pete's bed."

"What do you wanna do, Em?" I asked, sighing.

"Two choices," he said, his breath coming as a gust of wind down the receiver. "I clean this shit up and get Izzy off the hook, or go back to dad's and let her get caught. She'll never clean this shit up in time."

Leah looked at me and shook her head. She could see what I was planning. I couldn't do that to Emmett though. I knew he was unhappy about being at his dad's, and not only that, Seth had been so excited about coming back with me, I couldn't let him down.

"I'll be there in the morning, Em. I'll give you a hand, but on one condition."

There was a pause at the other end of the line as he waited for the condition.

"Izzy has to pull her weight. None of this 'I have a hangover, I don't feel good' bullshit. She will replace my door with her credit card, and if she snaps at either of us, we come back here and leave her to deal with the fallout herself."

"Done."

I said goodbye to Emmett and hung up, knowing that Leah would be disappointed. She watched me for a while and started to grin. I didn't wait for her to say anything to me. Instead I went to explain what happened to Sue, just in case I needed her to back me up if we couldn't get the mess sorted out in time.

"You're too nice," Leah sighed when I got dressed for bed and hit the lights. "I would have let the bitch burn."

"I wanted to. If I hadn't promised Seth, I would have told Emmett to just come up here. He could have stayed at mamére's house."

"Aw, you love little Sethykins."

I put the palm of my hand on her face and pushed gently before rolling over. "No, I just feel bad, you whore."

"Sure," she laughed, yawning. "Keep telling yourself that."

Seth was practically vibrating the next morning as we got ready to leave. I promised Sue I would drive him home on Sunday, but she refused, telling me to put him on a bus. She didn't want me having to drive all the way out here to turn around and go straight back home. This only seemed to excite Seth more.

We left at eight and finally rolled into the congested city around ten in the morning, which I figured was plenty of time for Izzy to get some sleep. I pointed out some of the things I'd learned about since being here to Seth. His wide eyes and wonderment for the city I was beginning to love gave me more enthusiasm. I pointed out houses in the Garden District, and he was amazed at some of the names I produced.

By the time we pulled up at the house, he already had his hand on the door and his eyes trained on the house looming ahead of him.

"This is where you live?"

"Yeah, it's my dad's house, and it's gonna be trashed. So just be forewarned."

Why she hadn't kept it contained to the pool house was beyond me, but then I couldn't ever really decipher her actions. I wasn't exactly sure I wanted to get into her mindset anyway.

Seth and I made our way around the pool, stepping over beer cans and red plastic cups that littered every surface. There were lounger pillows floating in the pool, as well as someone's underwear. Seth stopped, but I gripped his hand, pulling him along behind me.

I turned the handle of the back door, but it was locked so I entered the code on the door panel and pulled again, letting myself inside the house.

Emmett had been right, the kitchen was a disaster. There were cups sprawled everywhere, as well as dip on the floor and ceilings. Someone had pulled out canisters of pasta and it was everywhere. The place smelled of cigarette smoke and beer mixed with the sweet, bitter smell of bourbon. It wasn't until I saw the drugs on the table that I pulled Seth out of the kitchen altogether and up the stairs.

My door was worse than I had imagined; there were heavy dents and smashes around the handle, but fortunately, none had gone all the way through. I stepped up and checked it, satisfied when I found it still locked. It seemed like a small miracle, considering the dents in it. Any harder and there would have been a hole clean through it.

My anger was so palpable now, it was Seth holding onto my hand, rather than the other way around. I knew he could feel the tremors of emotion working through my body as I surveyed the damage with my free hand, his thumb squeezing the pressure point between my thumb and forefinger as he tried to silently console me.

"Hey, you're home," Emmett said, stepping out of his room and walking toward us. "Sorry you have to do this shit. Hey, Seth."

"Hey, Emmett!" Seth grinned, releasing my hand and shaking his to get the blood circulating again. "This place is awesome."

"It can be, when the fucking pigs haven't trampled the shit out of the place."

I unlocked my door and pushed it open; small shards that had chipped off from the impact were the only sign that anything out of the ordinary had occurred. "Seth, why don't you check my room out."

"Why?"

"Please?"

"Fine," he grumbled, darting up the stairs. I could hear his awe as I turned to Emmett.

"Em there're drugs on the kitchen counter."

"What?"

"You didn't notice?" I asked. I assumed he'd done an assessment of damage, but I couldn't blame him if he simply just went to bed.

"White powder stuff. It's on one of Tanya's sterling silver serving trays."

"Son of a bitch. Okay, I'll get rid of it and make sure there's nothing else like that lying around. You wanna wake up the beast?"

"My pleasure." I grinned, looking up the stairs to my room and hearing the sounds of the gaming console starting up. Emmett chuckled and headed for the stairs that led directly to the kitchen while I headed toward Izzy's door.

I threw it open and looked around the darkened room. I could see the lump on the bed that was cuddled up to what I guessed was Mike Newton. I marched toward the window and threw back the drapes and pulled opened the blinds letting the bright streaming light fill the room.

Both of the bodies on the bed groaned. Mike was the first to open his eyes. He looked around in confusion before finding me at the window with my arms crossed. I smirked at him, the same smirk he'd used on me when he was acting all high and mighty.

"Izzy, dad wants to see you in the kitchen immediately." I marched out of the room and left Mike shaking Izzy awake, the fear drawing the little color he had in his cheeks out. I stood outside the door, my back against the wall facing away from the direction of the kitchen. Mike scurried out, pulling up his pants and pulling on his shirt as he sprinted to the main stairs. He flew down them, almost toppling over near the bottom as his pants fell down toward his ankles.

I could hear the expletives coming in waves from Izzy's room as I stepped back inside. Her eyes were swollen and her hair was matted at the back of her head, sticking up in all directions. She looked like a badly dyed peacock. I stood there with my arms crossed as she pulled on some of her sweats and tried to tame the mess on top of her head.

"What the fuck are you staring at? I bet you're just fucking loving this."

"Not really," I sighed, pushing the door closed behind me. "Dad's not really home, Izzy. You can relax."

"What? Jesus fucking Christ, you gave me a fucking heart attack. Get the fuck out of my room. I'm going back to bed."

"No," I said defiantly, "you're not."

"Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?"

"You want me to go tell Emmett to stop cleaning up the lines of coke on the kitchen counter?" I asked, stepping forward. "We can just leave you in this squalor and come home after dad does on Sunday, if you like."

"Like I give a shit," she said defensively, but I could see the panic behind her eyes. I wanted to call her out on it.

"I know you do, Izzy. Unless you want to go to boarding school? I know I sure as hell don't, and to be quite honest, you'd get your wish and I would go home, but where would that leave you? In Connecticut, surrounded by girls just like you? You can do what the hell you like. Emmett and I were going to help you out, but I can see you'd rather just take the heat," I said, turning and grabbing the handle of her door.

"No. Bella, wait."

I stopped and turned to face her again, my eyebrows raised. Her eyes were wide, like she was hiding something, but I didn't have time to dwell on it. Her admission came too quickly.

"I fucked up. I know I fucked up, but what do you want? What's in this for you?"

"Some peace and fucking quiet. No more attitude, no more bitching. I'm not asking to be friends, just to be left alone."

"That's it?"

"That and you replacing the door you tried to get through last night."

"Which door?" she asked, her head tilted to the side in confusion. She stepped toward me and into the large landing, her eyes zoning in on my door. "I'm going to fucking kill her."

"Who?" I asked, stepping out beside her and cringing at the mess.

"Jessica, she kept going on about trashing your room last night and I told her to fucking drop it. Stupid bitch is crazy."

"She's your friend." I said, crossing my arms.

"Yeah and she's paying for that shit. These are specialty doors—it will take a miracle to get it replaced in time."

Her concern for not only my door, but her best friend—whether I believe that or not—defacing said door, actually took me by surprise.

"Oh my God, you weren't joking," Seth said from my door way, his mouth open and his eyes moving between Izzy and me. "Bella, you look hot as a blonde."

"Shut up, Seth," I quipped, rolling my eyes. "Seth this is Izzy, my sister. Izzy, this is Seth, Leah's brother."

"Hey cutie," Izzy said, grinning and stepping over the shards of wood to get a closer look. "Fancy helping us clean?"

Seth looked from me to Izzy, his smile fixed in place. I could see his Adam's apple bouncing as his gaze stopped on Izzy. "I'd help you any day, gorgeous."

Izzy's smile widened and her eyebrows rose at me in surprise. I rolled my eyes as he offered his arm to her and she took it. This could be very dangerous.

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know no Edward! But Leah was at least helping Bella see a resolution to that problem of not feeling worthy enough for him! And Seth's finally come to visit! **

**Sorry this is so late there was some stuff going on in RL and I am slowly getting back to normal. I just didn't get up early enough for this to be normal lol, but it will be next week!**

**Thanks as always to the amazing Annabanana, my beta, for making the words flow just a little bit better and adding all the commas I forget in my neverending brain fart!**

**A huge thank you and loads of love to Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic for being there and holding my hand in my hysteria lol, and for always knowing how to make me smile and keep me going no matter what! Thank you so much for this past week ladies!**

**To the reviews. I love you all! Your endless patience and kind words are so amazing to me. Every week you keep me giggling and smiling and your questions and predictions are always so amazing! I love you all loads! I bar none have the best readers on this site! **

**Much love and huger hugz ~Weezy~**


	29. Suspicious Behavior

_**All Things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer . . . . Some of the beginning concepts were inspired by V.C. Andrews, but almost all the rest is from my crazy head! Happy Tuesday! (Oh and I flaked over the blog, it will be updated tonight . . . Sorry!)**_

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**Suspicious Behavior**

_Looking for the victim shivering in bed__  
Searching out fear in the gathering gloom and suddenly!  
A movement in the corner of the room!_**_  
Lullaby - The Cure_**

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Seth looked back at me once and shook his head to stop me from talking when they approached the stairs. Bad idea didn't even cover this. My first instinct had been to grab him, but I was frozen on the spot as I tried to think about how to deflect a situation from happening here.

I narrowed my eyes at him, but Seth simply grinned in return and winked at me. I knew I would have to keep an eye on the two of them from now on. Izzy was vindictive enough to try something to get at Leah, and Seth, why would he say no?

I followed them down the front stairs into the huge foyer, where Izzy chatted idly about nothing in particular. Seth seemed to hang on her every word. Izzy lapped it up and played up her flirting, her girlish giggle and shoulder bumps making me want to vomit.

Emmett seemed to notice it too, his eyes widening as the two of them entered the kitchen ahead of me.

"You'll have to tell me everything about growing up with her. I know so little," Izzy said softly, fluttering her eyelashes like they were attached to a Morse code machine. Emmett's eyes widened as they moved from the two of them to me, where I rolled my eyes for his benefit.

"Hey Iz, can I talk to you outside for a minute?" Emmett asked, dumping the silver tray in the sink.

"Later, Emmett," she answered, turning back to Seth as if to close the subject, but I could see Emmett wasn't about to let this drop.

"No. Now."

Izzy looked at him again and sighed in an exhausted fashion before releasing her hold on Seth and moving toward the back door. The moment they were outside, Seth turned to me with his natural grin.

"Why don't you and Leah like her? She seems nice enough to me."

"That's called flirting, Seth, and don't get suckered in by it. She's a pariah."

"What's the matter, Bells?" Seth laughed, his arm going around my neck and pulling me into his shoulder. He was so tall it was impossible to avoid him. "Jealous?"

"You wish," I snorted, pinching the fat on his hip and making him jump away from me in shock.

"I do, but it doesn't seem to get me anywhere."

I rolled my eyes and moved around the kitchen to grab a big black yard bag from under the sink. We both started picking up the cups, emptying them and throwing them in the bag. We worked together as Emmett and Izzy's voices rose outside. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I made Seth clean the other side of the room so nothing would be overheard.

It took us hours to clean, it was getting dark outside by the time we threw the last bag out and vacuumed. Emmett argued with Izzy for a full hour then dragged her into the pool house to make sure there was nothing else to find. Seth of course volunteered to help her out, which meant we had to keep her close.

I was so sick of hearing her whining, I almost cheered with sheer joy when Emmett declared we were good. She was the first one out of the room, still complaining about her hangover and no one having sympathy for her. It was just too bad it was self-inflicted, not that I was going to start an argument like that with her.

"This is slave labor," Seth taunted, falling into a stool. "I'm a growing young man and you're starving me."

"You poor, starving child," I bantered back, walking past him and ruffling his hair. "Go take a shower—you stink, then we'll go grab dinner with my friends."

"Really?"

"No, I'm lying."

"Where's my room?"

"We'll figure it out later; go use my shower," I sighed, dragging him out of the stool. "While you're doing that, I'll call my friends."

I watched Seth leave the room before falling into the chair next to Emmett, my head resting on his broad shoulder as I finally let my body relax. I wasn't sure what he and Izzy had argued about, but I was sure if he wanted to tell me he would.

"You need some help calling around?" Emmett asked, his jovial nature beginning to shine through as he flexed the shoulder my head was resting on.

"That would be awesome. I don't think it will be a late night after today, but I feel bad having him clean all day and not show him any of the city."

"I'll call Edward and Jazz, you call Alice and Rosalie, then we can start getting ready."

"Sounds good, maybe you could have Edward invite the girl he's interested in," I sighed, trying once again to hide my disappointment. May as well get the whole thing out of the way, maybe then I could stop mulling over it all so much.

"Will do," Emmett said, pulling out his phone while I did the same. I sat up, scrolled through to Rosalie's number and hit send. Hoping she hadn't already made plans.

"Please say you're home," Rosalie said in greeting, and I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"I'm home; I brought one of my friends with me. Can you do dinner tonight?"

"Yes, please. I need to get out of this house. Who'd you bring?"

"Seth, Leah's younger brother."

"The one that's completely in love with you?" Rosalie asked, giggling into the phone.

"You and Leah talk too much," I groaned into the phone. "Please, don't encourage him. Please."

"Aww Come on, Bella. It'll be fun," she pushed, her voice in a singsong tone.

"Don't make me uninvite you."

"You wouldn't do that to me. What time are we meeting, and are we meeting at your house or the restaurant?"

I looked over at Emmett who was chattering away with Jasper on his phone. I knew it was horrible to do, but I could feel guilty about it later. "Restaurant, or the parking lot we always use. I don't want Izzy to invite herself."

Emmett nodded as though he understood what I was trying to communicate to him. I didn't have to explain to Rose and she wouldn't have asked questions, but by saying it aloud, Emmett would know I wanted an evening away from her. The entire day had been enough for me.

"Okay, I don't disagree with that," Rose answered. "What time?"

"Nine?"

"Perfect, see you then."

I called Alice next; she agreed to meet us there and disconnected to ask Jasper for a ride. Emmett and I went to get ready, but when I got in my room I found my bathroom door locked. It wasn't unusual, considering Seth was in there, but he never took this long in the shower.

"Seth, hurry up; I want to take a shower."

There was no answer from the bathroom so I knocked harder.

"Seth."

The door flew open and a grinning Seth stood before me, with only a towel around his waist. I was staring almost directly at his chest and I had to raise my eyes. Apparently working out with Jake had done wonders for him.

"Your shower . . . is awesome."

"I know," I grinned, keeping my eyes on his so as to not let them wander. Who knows what little stunt he would pull. "But you have to get out so I can get ready."

"You know . . ."

"Don't start," I sang pulling his arm so he stepped out of the bathroom. "Get dressed."

"Yes ma'am, I love it when you get bossy," he growled.

"I worry about you sometimes," I groaned and pushed the door closed.

It didn't take me long to get ready in the bathroom, and it wasn't until I realized I hadn't brought any clothes in with me that the fact I would have to parade in front of Seth in a towel hit home. Tomorrow he would be in the guest room with his own bathroom. For now, I would have to hope he was distracted.

Thankfully, he was involved with the gaming console when I pulled open the door quietly and peeked out. I sprinted toward the closet and pulled it closed behind me flicking on the light. I picked out something relatively low key to wear but rethought my decision when I realized Edward would be there.

It was a ridiculous notion, but I couldn't help but think it was the girl in me that reacted like this. What other explanation was there? I'd already made up my mind to stop thinking about him as much. I had decided to move on and I needed to stick by that decision. I didn't want to lose him as a friend again.

"Damn, Bella." Seth did a double take and got up off the couch, approaching me slowly. He was wearing a blue button-up and black slacks with his dress shoes. He looked adorable, and I was suddenly glad I hadn't invited Izzy.

I shook my head. I was starting to sound like a jealous girlfriend. That wasn't the case at all; Seth was and always would be like a little brother to me. Maybe if it was anybody but Izzy I wouldn't feel so protective over him.

"Looking good yourself, Mr. Clearwater."

Seth took a deep bow and came back up grinning again. He held out his arm for me to loop mine through, and I stepped forward to take it. "I'm ready whenever you are."

Thanks to a hangover and a full day's work, Izzy was still out cold when we left. We locked up the house as though it were empty and took Emmett's truck downtown. Emmett and I pointed out the things Seth and I had missed on our way into the city. I loved seeing his eyes wide with wonder as Emmett's knowledge took over what little I knew.

When we pulled up into our usual parking lot, I could already see everyone else starting to meet up. Jasper and Alice were standing closely, side by side, talking to Edward, while Rosalie was just getting out of her car. Emmett parked beside her, his eyes looking nervously around, before giving Rosalie a grin.

I slid out of the truck first, waiting for Seth to hop out from the back before we went around the other side. I waited to give Emmett a chance to say hello without an audience.

"Who's that?" Seth whispered, shutting the door behind him and throwing his arm around my shoulder easily.

"Rosalie. Come on, I'll introduce you."

We met up with Rose and Emmett on the other side of the truck, and before I could say a word, Seth held out his hand and introduced himself.

"Hi, I'm Seth. Leah's brother."

"Good to meet you. I've heard a lot about you," Rosalie said, giving me a smirk.

"So, is everyone here as beautiful as you, 'cause I may just make a home in Bella's closet if that's the case."

Rosalie and I couldn't hold our laughter in, especially when Emmett's hand came down on Seth's shoulder.

"Easy kid, pace yourself," he chuckled, only causing Rosalie and I to laugh even harder. Seth didn't even look fazed—he just grinned and tightened his arm around my neck, making me react with a playful punch in his abs.

He released me and seemed content to just walk beside me as we headed to the rest of the group. Emmett did the introductions this time, introducing Jasper, Alice and Edward. I was slightly confused by the reactions from Jasper and Edward but put it down to being uncomfortable. Edward having Rosalie here, and Jasper, being with Alice and me in a more intimate situation than the cafeteria.

Unfortunately, it didn't go away either. It wasn't until Rosalie and I headed to the bathroom together that I gained a little insight.

"What is up with Edward and Jasper?" I asked as I washed my hands and Rosalie touched up her lipstick. She and I had been exchanging glances all night because Emmett had been attentive.

"You haven't figured it out yet?" Rose laughed, sliding the lipstick back in her purse and turning to me.

"Figured what out?"

"Bella, you must be the most unobservant person on the face of planet."

"What are you talking about?" I pouted, my arms defensively crossing over my chest.

"Oh don't get all upset," she chided, turning and moving a piece of my hair back into place. "I just thought you would have realized."

"Realized what?"

A small sad smile came to her lips. I couldn't understand what had brought it on until she explained it.

"They're jealous."

"What?"

It didn't make any sense at all. Well, maybe Jasper because, in some small way, I knew how he was feeling. Even though Seth and my relationship was completely platonic, I wasn't ignorant to Seth's continued flirting with me. I mean, this was Seth we were talking about; he'd been flirting with me since he'd been old enough to talk. Edward though, why on earth would Edward be jealous?

"This," Rosalie giggled, holding out her arms for me to step into. I obliged and stepped into her hug. "This is why I love you Isabella Swan. You have no idea how commanding you are, do you?"

"I am so confused." I wasn't lying either.

It just didn't make any sense. They both knew about Seth. I'd talked about him enough, and so had Leah. She found great humor at my expense when we all got together, pulling out the numerous accounts of Seth's attempts over the years until I put my hand over her mouth to physically shut her up. Then there was Jasper,; we were still just as close as we'd ever been, but he had Alice. I wanted that for him, so why would he act that way to a boy that had been like my brother for my entire life. He was the one person I had given some examples too, and he'd told me he was impressed how resourceful Seth was.

Then there was Edward; He was supposed to have this thing for another girl. We were friends. It was a budding friendship but still, he'd been around us enough to hear the stories as they piled up. I had known Seth my entire life; he was included in a lot of them. It just didn't make sense.

I wanted to say something about what Emmett had said about this new girl in Edward's life, but I didn't know if Rose was aware of it—and I wasn't sure how she would react either. So I didn't say a word.

"Just ignore them and enjoy yourself. Oh, and Bella," she said as I started to walk toward the door. "What did you say to Emmett?"

"Uhh," I stammered, completely unsure of what to say.

"Don't lie to me; you're easy to read."

"I told him to open his eyes," I said, hoping the partial truth would be enough to get me through this. I turned to face her and smiled. "Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Sure it doesn't," I laughed, enjoying the turn of events.

"Come on, let's get back before they scar Seth for life."

At the table it was easy to see why Rose had come to the assumption she had. Every time Seth put his hand on the back of my chair, stole food from my plate, or rested his head on top of mine, Edward and Jasper seemed to react. Poor Alice looked as confused as I was when Jasper started firing questions at Seth.

After about an hour, Peter joined us. Jasper had called him and he'd promised to try and join us when he finished work. He was oddly pleasant to Seth, asking him questions about our childhood and Leah. He even asked him how long he'd had a crush on me.

Of course, Seth gave his standard answer. "Ever since she changed my diaper after I was born."

The whole table erupted with laughter, and even Edward and Jasper joined in. I pushed Seth away from me with an eye roll and finished the sentiment with: "Yeah, and he's been trying ever since. Doesn't seem to understand the word no."

"You got guts, kid. I don't think I could be rejected as much as you have in your lifetime and not gain a complex," Peter teased, raising his eyebrows at me in challenge. Then he added arrogantly, throwing his hands behind his head, "But then, I've never been said no to."

"Oh, bullshit," Jasper crowed, giving him a shove. "What about that blonde at the LSU game last year? I believe she said no, and she had backup."

"Well that doesn't count, Jasper. She was dating someone."

"Since when's that stopped you?" Edward laughed.

"Never," Peter said, his eyes focusing on me and holding my gaze. I hated when he did that, I would get that same skin crawling sensation I used to get from him. I rolled my eyes to break eye contact and turned to Seth.

"He'll find someone that won't say no." I smiled and winked at him. "It just won't be me."

The rest of the night seemed to become more relaxed than it had been. We ate slowly and talked for a while, and before we knew it, it was midnight and we were being thrown out. We all decided to head back to our house and convene in the pool house.

We were up almost all night talking. Seth fell asleep in the guest room long before the evening was over. When I couldn't wake him up I left him there and headed to bed myself. Emmett and Peter had gone up ahead of me, so I wasn't surprised to see Peter crossing the hall. It was only when Izzy stormed out of her room, following him with her hands on her hips and her eyes angry, that I realized something was wrong.

"Stay away from me, Peter," she hissed, her voice venomous. Peter looked at me and then her, shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

"What are you looking at?" she shouted at me before turning back around, marching into her room and slamming the door behind her. I didn't think I would ever understand them. I didn't think I ever wanted to.

Like most of my fun weekends, it was over entirely too soon, and before I knew it, Sunday afternoon was approaching and Seth had to go. His Saturday had been more fun than the Friday I had subjected him to, and I was able to divert a small mishap from becoming a full-blown disaster. It turns out Izzy was sneakier than I gave her credit for, and I caught her sneaking down to the pool house on Saturday morning. Needless to say, Seth stayed on my couch Saturday night because there was no way in hell I was taking any chances.

I left for the bus station alone because Emmett had gone to the LSU game scheduled for today. I think almost everyone but Izzy had made plans to go with him, and I was almost looking forward to having the rest of the day alone.

"Do I have to go?" Seth whined as I pulled up at the bus station. I had called Sue and double checked with her, but she seemed fine with Seth taking the bus. I still wasn't comfortable with it though. If I had to be honest the trip down here was the first and last time I would ever be that.

"I don't think your mom will let Izzy keep you, and even if she said yes, I'd trade you for Leah any day."

"Nice to know I'm loved," Seth pouted, but he couldn't hold the look for long. "Can I come down with Leah next time? I think Izzy likes me."

"That in itself is reason to say no."

"Why don't you like her?" Seth asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

I knew to him it must look strange. I was the hostile one this time, I was the one that had her under the thumb because she knew she'd messed up by having drugs in the house and having a party that trashed the house. She owed me and she knew it. It was the first truce in a while and it was one I felt comfortable with, because I had an alibi.

"You didn't see Izzy the sister this weekend, Seth. You met the flirt that was trying to stay out of my way."

"I'll take your word for it." He grinned and winked.

"You sure I can't take you home? I feel weird putting you on a bus."

"Naw, it's cool. Mom ain't worried. You shouldn't."

I pulled into a space and walked with him to the counter, standing back so I didn't cramp his style like the worried big sister I felt like. I wandered to the small magazine stand at the back of the room and picked some out for him, figuring it would kill the boredom on the bus.

I was leafing through the auto magazines when I felt it. It was distinct, more so than it had been when I was at that gas station last Sunday; this was closer, like I was within it's reach, as though I could smell and touch it. The violent shudder than ran down my spine made my entire body react. Maybe it was just my imagination getting the better of me. How could I be feeling it here, surrounded by all of these people?

"Hey Bella." Seth's voice startled me and I jumped, sending the magazines toppling to the floor.

"Seth you scared the shit out of me."

"What's wrong?" I could see by the frown that he could read my body language and see exactly how jumpy I was. "What happened?"

"Nothing, just that weird shudder, you remember the saying."

"Someone walking over your grave?"

"Yeah, that one," I said, less than enthusiastic about the turn of phrase.

"What you got there?" he asked, crouching to pick up the magazines I had dropped.

"Something to entertain you on the way home—believe me it's boring," I explained, flashing him a smile.

He grinned and handed me back the magazines so I could pay for them. I could see by the lack of resistance I had made decent choices. Seth was probably just as easy to read as I was. His bus wasn't for another forty-five minutes, so we sat together in some of the seats in the waiting area talking quietly amongst ourselves. It was so boring in these places, but I couldn't deny the fact that there were some interesting people hanging around.

I laid my head on Seth's shoulder and watched an elderly couple as they talked quietly to each other; I could see the topic of their discussion, and it was a girl not much older than me. She was wearing a white vest, jeans and Doc Martens. That wasn't the topic though, her arms and shoulders were covered in an intricate tattoo, it was an apple tree that seemed to cover her back, the branches with the soft delicate flowers growing up over her shoulders. As it came over her arms the branches seemed to spread out into a tribal design that moved down her arms and ended circling her wrists. Her hair was red and black; it was twisted up into a knot at the back of her head. When she finally turned to face me, I could see the studs and rings. There was a ring in her eyebrow, a stud in her nose and a viper bite in her bottom lip.

I could see why it would be so shocking to an older couple, but to people like Seth and me, there really wasn't much surprising in her appearance. It seemed that no matter what she did, the couple found it shocking. She would stretch and the lady would grab her husband's hand and lean over to say something, her hand covering her mouth.

"What are you giggling about?" Seth asked, looking down at me where I was still leaned against him.

"People watching. The generation gap can be entertaining."

"You're aware of how weird you actually are, right?"

I looked down at the watch I was wearing and sighed. Twenty minutes and Seth would be gone. I was going to miss him, even if he still shamelessly flirted. I was so used to it that it was just a quirk to me, another reminder of my home in the bayou. It was sad to see him go.

"Shut up, Seth," I laughed, sitting up and slapping his shoulder. "Before the bus gets here, did you grab everything?"

Seth rifled through his things, double-checking everything. I knew something was wrong the moment he sat up and looked at me with his eyes wide.

"What?"

"I left the hoody you bought me in the back of your car."

"Could be worse," I said, getting up. "I'll go get it, we still have time. Where is it?"

"Back seat, still in the bag from the store," he answered. "I can get it if you like."

"It's fine, just stay with your stuff 'til I get back."

"Kay."

Thankfully, I hadn't parked that far from the entrance so I had plenty of time to grab the bag and get back to him. I made my way through the parking lot, hitting the alarm on the key chain to make the alarm chirp, that way I was sure where the car was. I didn't exactly feel comfortable, especially after the haunting feeling had plagued me in the terminal of the bus station.

"Ma'am?" I jumped, I'd thought I was alone in the parking lot but there was an older gentleman in dirty clothes passing by. I hadn't noticed him before, so I was sure he must have been sitting between two cars until he saw me coming. "Do you have any spare change?"

I contemplated for a second—he didn't look like the type of person that would hurt me, in fact, as he took a step toward me I could have sworn he had a limp. I opened my purse and grabbed the dollars I had thrown in there from the change of the magazines. I put them in his hand with a smile and backed away.

"God bless you, young lady."

"Thank you, you too," I offered, continuing toward my car with quicker steps. I pressed the button to unlock the car and let my eyes scan the lot again before I opened the door and leaned in. The bag was sitting where I could reach it easily, so I pulled it out and locked the door, putting the keys in my purse and zipping it so I could hurry back to Seth before he had to leave.

I knew something was wrong the moment the doors opened and the cacophony of voices filled the previously muted station. My heart was pounding in my throat as my eyes scanned the crowd that was on its feet now. I pushed forward, making my way through the sea of bodies as the panic gripped me. The bodies seemed to be grouped tightly together as I reached the center. I pushed forward, knowing something was terribly wrong. Where was Seth? He was easily the tallest person here, why couldn't I see him?

My voice, rose with my shouts for people to move as the dread encapsulated me.

"Seth? Seth?" I could hear the terror in my own voice as I fought against the wall of bodies to get to the front. "Move. Seth?"

The girl the old couple had been watching saw me and gripped my hand, pulling me through the crowd so roughly I was sure my arm would wrench from the socket, but she achieved her objective and got me through with shouts. "Let her through, she's his friend. Move."

The moment I was into the center, I fell to my knees beside the battered mess of my best friend's brother. I could see blood and bruises forming on his face and arms, but what worried me the most was his huddling in the fetal position.

"Somebody call an ambulance. NOW!" I screamed, my blood running cold through my veins.

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**A/N: Sorry about the flaking with the blog, but I will update when I get home from work. It was a long weekend which meant Monday felt like Sunday and I was all sort of all turned around! Still, I remembered to post ;)**

**Now, I am going into hiding! Poor Seth, I know I am gonna get an earbending from some of you, but the mystery will be solved and . . . the Edward sitch will pick up again soon. Just trying to juggle the story and the budding romance ;)**

**Thanks as always to my awesome beta, Annabanana. She sorts out all my horrible punctuation and grammar. She's amazing!**

**As always, Massive amounts of love to Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic for the hand holding and talking down from precarious edges. i love you guys!**

**And then of course a huge amount of love and hugs to everyone of you who review. All of you are amazing and always keep me on my toes with you comments and theories. You're amazing and I really don't know how express how awesome you all are! Love you guys!**

**Much love and HUGE hugz ~Weezy~  
**


	30. Who Did This?

_**All things Twilight belong to the Amazing Stephenie Meyer. Some earlier plot points were inspired by a V.C. Andrews book, and the rest comes from my strange mind. Happy Tuesday :)**_

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**Who Did This?**

_The needle on the spinning wheel _  
_Collecting silver coil_  
_It gathers heat without you,_  
_Whether or not you're turned from it_  
**_Silver Soul by Beach House_**

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It had all happened so fast. The crowd that stood around me seemed to rush into action as I tried to rouse Seth from unconsciousness. The tattooed girl was kneeling beside me, her hands moving assuredly up his side until Seth's body convulsed from her light fingers.

"I think he's got broken ribs; he's got some pretty nasty cuts that are bleeding heavily. I'm a medical assistant, but I've been trying to get my nursing degree," she said, answering my curious glance. "It's probably best to leave him where he is so there's no more damage done."

I folded over Seth's limp body and let my forehead come to rest against the top of his head while I begged silently for his forgiveness. I should never have left him alone in this place. I couldn't have been gone for five minutes. What the hell happened?

I sat up and looked at the girl beside me who looked just as helpless as I felt. I echoed my question to her.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, the guy came in through the terminal doors, he had his hood up and I didn't see his face. I don't know what he said, but in seconds he had your friend out of his chair and was just hitting him. There was nothing anyone could do. It happened so fast."

"Did you hear anything he said?" I needed to know. I couldn't understand how anyone could do this to a kid like Seth. He'd never hurt anyone in his life. My whole body was shaking, but I tried to keep control of myself while I listened. It would do him no good to let the panic seep into my veins and render me useless.

The girl looked at her companion before looking back to me, her eyes wide and apologetic. "'Stay away from her.'"

"What?"

The girl shrugged. "That's all I heard, I'm sorry."

I shook my head, my body rocking gently against my will. Who? Stay away from who? It was the only thing running through my mind.

I couldn't do this alone, I couldn't handle this and wait two hours for Sue and Leah . . . Their names brought recognition of what I had to do while I waited for EMS to show up.

"His mom," I mumbled, my hand shaking as I tried to find her number. The girl seemed to take pity on me and pulled the phone from my hand. "Sue."

She handed me back the phone and I heard the ringing, but it didn't register. I needed to get a hold of myself. I was stronger than this.

"Bells? The brat on the bus?" Leah sang into the phone. She must have seen the caller ID.

"Leah, you and your mom have to come down here now. Something happened to Seth. I tried—I mean, I don't know—he was fine—I just ran... but I came back, oh God. Lee, I'm waiting for EMS."

"Bella, I need you to calm down," Leah ordered, her voice laced with hysterics under the exuded calm. "What happened?"

"He left his sweater in my car, I was gone for a second, and when I came back, he was lying on the floor surrounded by people, bleeding. Someone beat him up, and it was done by the time I got back, I don't know what to do."

"Bella, I need you to stay with him and text me when you get to the hospital so I know where to go. Hang tight, I'm going to call Emmett and have him meet you there. I'm going to get in the car with mom and head that way. We'll be there as soon as we can."

"Hurry, Lee."

"I will," she promised and hung up the phone, but not before she started screaming for her mom.

I could hear the sirens in the distance; it was like a beacon of hope coming toward me. At least they would know what to do. I was helpless here, all I could do was whisper quietly and tell him it was okay when I wasn't even sure what was going on, or what was wrong with him.

After that the paramedics arrived and I stood by and watched them do everything they could do. The police fired questions at me, but again, the girl with the tattoos took control and explained what happened. All I could do was stare at Seth; he looked so small and fragile. The bruises and cuts only seemed to add to the illusion. I wanted to get on the gurney with him and curl protectively around him until Sue and Leah arrived.

I was standing in the waiting room for a long time before I was allowed in to sit with him. They had to wait for x-rays. That's when I must have fallen asleep.

My eyes fluttered open; the beeping of the machines that surrounded me made me feel disorientated, but more than that, it was the two warm hands in my own. I knew I was holding Seth's, I could feel his palm sweating lightly as my own held on for dear life where my head was resting, but the other—the other was being held.

I lifted my head from the bed, my mind weighted down with the shock and stress of the situation. It all felt so surreal. I had never seen anything like that in my life. I had never seen someone looking so broken. The doctors had told me that they didn't think any internal damage had been done, but they were keeping him sedated until they were sure he didn't have a concussion. I was terrified.

The hand wrapped around mine squeezed gently. My eyes widened as I turned to the source of sympathy.

"How are you?" Edward asked, his bronze hair more disheveled than I had ever seen it before. I could see how worried he was, his emerald green eyes seemed to exude it. Fear and sympathy, concern and confusion.

I fell apart, the sobs wracking my chest, unable to stop myself. The familiar face had made it easy to let the tears I had been holding back for so long spill over my lids, leaving hot tracks down my cheeks. Without a second thought, he stood up and pulled me to him, his hand gripping the nape of neck and holding me against his body.

He didn't say a word as I let myself cry. I knew I would have to give some kind of explanation eventually, but for now, he seemed content to hold me together while I fell apart inside. This was all too much for me to handle. I was so worried about Seth, worried about Leah and Sue and what state they'd be in. It took me a while to calm down.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into Edward's tear stained shirt. "I just . . ."

"Don't apologize," he said in a subdued voice that seemed to calm me more than anything else had. "I don't even know how you made it this long. What happened?"

"I was at the bus station," I sniffled, stepping back and reaching for the tissues on Seth's nightstand. I blew my nose and took a deep breath to stop another flood of tears. "Seth left his sweater in my car. I ran out to get it, it must have been five minutes, tops, but I got back and everyone was gathered around where I'd left Seth. I pushed through and he was lying on the floor in a ball."

"Who was it?"

I took a deep breath and looked up at him, I knew my confusion was probably like a neon sign across my face. What could I say?

"He was gone by the time I got there. The girl that helped me in the terminal said that he was wearing a hoodie with the hood up and no one saw his face."

Edward's fingers ran through his hair as he tried to process what I was telling him. "I don't get it, I don't see Seth provoking someone. Even if he did, it would take a lot longer than five minutes."

"Exactly, Edward I don't understand it, the girl said . . ." Before I could finish the sentence, the door was being thrown open by Leah and Sue. Edward and I turned to them, wide eyed. I could feel the guilt running through me, it was as though my blood was being drained from my entire body. He was in my care; I was supposed to be looking after him. This was my fault.

Sue moved to the bed, her hands brushing Seth's bloodied hair from his forehead, her tears rolling gently down her cheeks as she seemed to check over him with her own eyes to catalogue the damage. Leah walked to me and threw her arms around my neck. Her eyes were red rimmed and blood shot.

Edward backed away and let the scene unfold in front of him, standing by as a pillar of strength should we need one. Leah pulled me over to the bed where we stood, looking over Seth's unconscious form.

I went over the whole story again in more detail. I even brought up the 'stay away from her' part. I had been thinking about what that meant, and every conclusion seemed to lead back to Seth being the wrong guy or it was my fault. But who would do such a thing if it were about me? Everyone who knew me knew who and what Seth was to me, so I couldn't understand it.

The police showed up a little later to get my version of events, but I couldn't help them any more than the people who'd actually been there could. Edward sat holding my hand the whole time I spoke with them. Leah sat on the other side as close as she could get to me without being on my lap.

When darkness fell around the hospital and the humming of the lights started to become a mundane soundtrack. I was beginning to feel like I was losing my mind. When would they wake Seth up? When would they know how badly he was hurt? The three of us wandered around the halls aimlessly, checking in on Sue and Seth every ten minutes or so. She was so distraught it only seemed to make the guilt evolve within me and become a monster of my own making.

I went over every way I could have done things differently, and the only conclusion I came to was: I should have driven him home. Leah didn't enjoy seeing me blaming myself; she hated that it had happened, but she never, not for one second, laid blame on me, which only made me feel worse.

Hours seemed to bleed into one another, the darkness stealing any indication of time from any of us. At some point, Leah fell asleep with her head in my lap and Edward's head moved slowly onto my shoulder as his breathing deepened and he fell into a deep repose. My fingers mechanically worked through the strands of Leah's hair in time to Edward's breaths as my eyes focused on the wall ahead of me. There was a tiny smudge holding all of my attention as my mind replayed the scene over and over in my memory.

"Bella." My dad's voice filled the empty corridor in a loud pointed whisper. I didn't even know how long he'd been there.

"Dad?"

"Emmett told me what happened when they got back. He wanted to come but I told him to stay home. How are you guys holding up?"

"Okay, I think," I croaked, trying to whisper through the hazy hours of disuse my voice was suffering. "How's Seth, dad? Did you see his chart, his x-rays?"

"He's doing well, but they're keeping him sedated over night. They're going to wake him up in the morning. Why don't you go home and get some rest."

I shook my head defiantly. I couldn't leave until I knew he was okay. Until he looked at me with his bright eyes and actually said something to me. I couldn't walk away from here while he was still unconscious. Sleep was just a pipe dream anyway. Still, I knew I should send Edward home. It was unfair to keep him here.

"Bella, where's your car?" dad asked, crouching in front of us as my fingers still worked through Leah's hair.

"Bus station."

I felt Edward stir on my shoulder. His hot breath licked over my neck as he nuzzled further into my neck, obviously not realizing where he was. Dad coughed once, and Edward's eyes flew open. The iris' moved from a forest green to their usual jade as he focused on my dad in front of me.

"Dr. Cullen."

"Edward, thanks for coming. You should probably head home, you have school tomorrow."

Edward sat up, his hair an amassment of bronze strands. His hand ran through it as he nodded his assent. I knew he couldn't argue against dad. "Yes sir."

"Would you mind dropping me off at the bus station, I'm going to get Bella's car and bring it back here for her."

"I don't mind, sir," Edward agreed with a small smile. He turned to me before getting up, his eyes brighter after the short nap. "Call me and let me know how he's doing?"

"I will." I nodded, giving him a small smile. "Thanks for everything, Edward."

He stood up and ran his hands down his thighs before turning and heading down the hall toward the door. I opened my purse and handed my dad the keys as he gave me a faint smile.

"I'll be right back, sweetheart. Then I'll see about getting you, Leah and Sue some cots to sleep on."

"Thanks, Dad."

He nodded and followed Edward down the hall, leaving Leah and I alone. My eyes trained back on the spot on the wall as I tried to stop thinking. Everything was revolving around this riddle, and no matter how I looked at it, I couldn't make sense of it. I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

The inky blackness swam behind my eyelids for a while as I felt myself slide deeper under the safety blanket of sleep. The harmonious arms of unconsciousness held me against it as I let myself drift away.

Like all good things, the peacefulness inside my own mind couldn't last forever, and soon the day's experiences found me hiding there. Only my subconscious conjured up the things I didn't see and turned them into a ghoulish monster that took shape from the gathered crowd and devoured Seth's small fragile form right before my eyes. I woke up screaming, Leah's hands gripping the sides of my face as she waited for me to focus.

"Calm down, it's just a nightmare."

"It's my fault, Lee. I should never have left him alone," I moaned as the reality came flooding back.

"Stop it, Bella. You left him for five minutes. Beating yourself up about it is ridiculous. Even Seth said it."

"He's awake?"

"Yeah, mom came out about an hour ago. I went to see him while your dad sat with you. Seth wants to see you."

I leaped to my feet and grabbed my purse that had my car keys sitting on top of it, and followed Leah down the hall to the room I knew was occupied by Seth. As the last of the lethargy fell away from me, I began to feel the guilt wash over me in waves again. Telling me it wasn't my fault was all well and good, but it wouldn't stop my self-awareness.

Leah strolled into the room easily, while I hung back at the door, peeking in as though I would be rejected if I stepped foot inside.

"Bella?" Seth's voice was thick and raspy from lack of use. His eyes, one almost shut with swelling, watched me with curiosity. "Why are you all the way over there? I'm trying to milk as much sympathy from this as I can."

"Seth, I'm so sorry. I never should have . . ."

Seth cut me off, raising his hand to stop me mid-speech. His lips turned up at the corners into his usual smile, even though it seemed to pain him to do so. The cut on his lips and bruise surrounding it stretched his swollen skin.

"Come over here and give me a hug, would ya?"

I stepped in the room and approached the bed slowly. Sue gave me an encouraging smile as I caught her eyes. I leaned over the bed and cupped Seth's face in my hands gently. I didn't want to hurt him any more than he already was. My lips brushed against his forehead before I leaned my own against it.

"Forgive me?" I whispered as one of his hands came to rest on my wrist.

"There's nothing to forgive, Bella. The guy was insane. I think he thought I was someone else. Why do you keep blaming yourself?"

"Because you were in my care, Seth. I was supposed to be keeping an eye out for you, and look what happened."

"Bella this could have happened anywhere, sweetheart," Sue said from beside the bed, her smile genuine. "No one but that idiot is to blame. You couldn't have stopped him if you were there. Stop berating yourself for something out of your control."

Was it? Now that Seth was at least awake, all the puzzle pieces started falling into place. In the chaos, I had forgotten the feeling of being watched. Was I being watched? Or was it some sixth sense that something was about to happen? Whatever it was, it was something I hadn't considered before.

I stood up slowly and caught Seth's hand.

"Why don't you and Leah go to your house and get some rest and come back later?" Sue said. Her tone suggested it wasn't open for argument. "Seth needs more sleep and they want to give him some more tests. You won't be missing much."

"Yes, ma'am."

Seth gave me a wink with his good eye and attempted a grin. "Why don't you bring Izzy with you when you come back?"

"What?" Leah asked, her voice almost a growl.

"Izzy took a liking to Seth," I groaned, trying to hide the grimace. I knew I would be grilled on that as we headed back to the house.

"Ugh, over my dead body," Leah snapped at her brother, ruffling his hair before leaning over to kiss Sue on the cheek. "We'll be back later, mom. Can we bring you anything?"

"A big fat juicy burger—I'm starved," Seth answered.

"I think we could do that," Leah laughed, grabbing my hand and pulling me behind her.

"Bye, see you later," I said, my voice trailing behind me as I followed her out.

Leah wasn't happy when I described Izzy's antics. I was sure she was going to level her when we got to the house, but instead she simply answered Izzy's inquiry in a curt tone and continued up to my room. Oddly though, Izzy seemed genuinely worried about Seth and asked me to send him her best. I didn't tell her his request to see her. Leah would have likely murdered me on the spot.

We slept for hours, well into the afternoon. The sun was high in the sky and streaming in through the blinds when I finally woke up completely. Leah was still passed out when I rolled out of bed and into the shower. I didn't want to disturb her; I had a feeling she had gotten less sleep than I did.

We went straight back to the hospital as soon as we were both dressed. We sat with Seth who was in an oddly bright mood, considering his predicament.

While we'd been gone, the police had come in to talk to Seth and Sue. They took Seth's statement and filled in some holes for them as well. Apparently, one of the crowd had seen the guy's hands as he laid into Seth and had reported that he'd been using what they called brass knuckles, which is why Seth was so badly beaten up. The doctors had also been in, reporting he had some broken ribs.

"You mean his brain is normal?" Leah laughed, dodging Seth's swinging leg as he tried to kick her. "I was sure they'd find some abnormality he's had since birth in there."

"Leah Katherine Clearwater. Give your brother some sympathy, he's just been through something traumatic."

"That he's going to milk like a prize dairy cow," she snorted.

There was a knock at the door, and we all turned to see a crowd of people standing there with flowers and balloons and a pizza box. I couldn't stop the smile on my lips.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Bells, we figured we'd come in and cheer Seth up a little. Is that okay?"

"Please, come in," Sue answered for me, her smile wide and broad. "You must be Bella's friends. She and Leah talk about you often."

"Sue," I said, standing up. "This is Emmett, my step brother, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, and you met Edward last night."

That's when I saw the figure hanging back by the door. I gave her a confident smile and nodded for her to step further into the room. Sue gasped audibly, her eyes wide as they moved between us.

"This is Izzy, my twin."

"Yeah, you could say that," Sue laughed, getting up and stepping forward. "It's so nice to meet y'all."

"It's nice to meet you, too, Mrs. Clearwater." Emmett smiled.

"Right, well, I'll give you all a chance to catch up; I'm going to grab a cup of coffee."

"You don't have to leave, ma'am." Jasper grinned, stepping out of her path.

Sue put her hand on his arm and smiled. I could see she was a little overwhelmed, and I was sure after sitting in the plastic chair all this time, she needed the walk to stretch.

"Believe me, I need the exercise, Jasper."

Silence seemed to hang in the air until an acceptable amount of time passed. Seth was the first to say something, his eyes fixed on the blonde next to me. "Hey, Iz."

"Seth, how are you feeling?" she inquired, sidling up to the bed.

Leah and I looked at one another, both of our eyebrows raised as the others moved further into the room and crowded around the bed. There was a murmur of voices as they all spoke to him, only Leah and I hung back.

"What is she doing here?" Leah whispered, as Izzy giggled at something Seth had said.

"Flirting, by the looks of things," I murmured back. I had to give it to Izzy, she was determined.

"Stop her."

I snorted and caught the attention of Jasper and Edward. I smiled at them both before they turned their attention back to Seth and his story.

"How do you propose I do that?"

Leah snickered beside me and covered her mouth with her hand.

"What?"

"I just had this picture of in my head," she giggled. "Of how you could distract, Seth."

I gave her a pointed look, and she motioned as if lifting up her shirt. I slapped her in the arm, which, once again, drew the attention of everyone to us.

"They're at it again," Jasper, laughed, turning around to face us. "What now?"

We both shook our heads, which only made us laugh out loud.

"What?" Seth demanded with such force he gripped his jaw and winced with pain.

"Bella came up with a way to make you feel better," Leah spluttered through her laughter.

I clamped my hand over her mouth and grinned.

"Oh yeah?" Seth asked, his interest piqued.

"No, you're sister is being an idiot and making lewd suggestions again. Please continue with your story."

Seth smirked and tried to sit further up in bed. Izzy tried to help him, which only made Leah laugh harder behind the restriction of my hand. I rolled my eyes and let my hand drop.

"What was this suggestion and how will it make me feel better?"

Leah took a breath as though she were about to speak. I closed my eyes almost expecting her to say it, but she restrained herself and breathed out again. Izzy caught Seth's attention again by asking a question and his story continued.

Sue was gone for an hour, and Leah and I ended up perched on the empty bed in the room while Seth recounted his horrific experience. I found myself cringing away from it; Seth found the story captivated his audience, but for me, it only brought back the nightmare from the night before.

My friends slowly filed out, one by one saying goodbye to Seth and then Leah and me before leaving. Izzy was the last to leave, and Leah looked relieved. I moved to the window and looked down at the sidewalk below, wishing I hadn't the moment I did. I knew it was coming, but I wasn't as prepared for it as I'd thought I'd been.

Leah must have seen the look on my face and stepped up beside me, her hand rubbing my back gently in support. She knew how I felt about Jasper and Alice getting together, that I had encouraged it, but she knew the scene below would be hard for me to watch.

Jasper was standing by the curb, his arms around Alice, one cupping the back of her neck as she rolled onto her toes so her lips could meet his.

"You okay?"

I nodded and took a deep breath, turning back to Seth as we waited for the doctor to come in.

He was released that evening, given some pain medication, and told to rest for a while. Sue and Leah took him home and made me promise to stop blaming myself. Seth was even more insistent, telling me that it wasn't my fault and at least he got a great story out of it.

Unfortunately, it was easier said than done. I could promise them until I was blue in the face, but it didn't mean I could stop feeling responsible. Seth was fine, I knew it when he'd asked me for a kiss goodbye and braced himself for a slap from Leah that never came. I obliged by kissing his good cheek and giving him a smirk before climbing into my car.

It seemed weird to be returning to my life after what had happened. Almost two days of being on the go constantly and now there was just emptiness, a lingering calm. It was unsettling.

The moment I got home, I knew I didn't want to be alone and knocked on Emmett's door. The shuffling inside the room was hurried as he shouted out an "I'll be right there."

His door was thrown open, and I couldn't help but laugh at the sight that met me. Rosalie was smoothing down her hair and straightening out her shirt, while Emmett's dark curls seemed to take on a life of their own.

"I'm so sorry," I mumbled, trying to hold back the giggles. "I didn't know Rose was here."

Rose grinned at me from the bed, her elation at the turn of events highly obvious. Emmett ran his hand through his hair and grinned sheepishly, his dimples making an appearance.

"I'll just go," I chortled and turned around.

"No, come on in," Emmett said, his hand tugging on the back of my shirt so I wouldn't move. "I'm sure you don't want to be alone, I know it must have scared the shit outta you."

"I'm fine, Em. I'll talk to you guys later."

I gave him a grin over my shoulder and pulled out of his grasp. This was definitely a happy ending to a very odd weekend.

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**A/N: Seth's okay and the other couples finally seem to be getting their asses into gear! Now all we need is Bella to see the light!**

**A huge hug and thank you to my beta, Annabanana. She fixes my grammatical and punctuation mistakes and she's awesome!  
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**As always a wave of love to my handholding plotbunny friends, miztrezboo, bendingmirrors, hev99 and Newmoonaholic. You guys have no idea how much you keep me sane . . . not that I was all that sane to begin with! Love you guys!**

**And last but certainly not least . . . Thank you to all of you who review. You make my week. All of you are so amazing and every week your creativity and inquisitiveness keep me grinning. Sorry about all the no comments, but it will make sense soonish! Love you guys!**

**Much love and HUGE hugs ~Weezy~  
**


	31. Shifting

_**All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer. Some plot hints were encouraged by V.C. Andrews, and the rest . . . well I never said I was sane ;) Happy Tuesday!**_

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**Shifting**

_The seeing of the greatest few _  
_Do what you will, always _  
_Walk where you like, your steps _  
_Do as you please, I'll back you up _  
_**I'll Back You Up by Dave Matthews Band**_

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I wasn't sure if it was the left over feeling from the horrific weekend, if it was paranoia or it was real. I just knew it felt like somebody was watching me constantly. I could be sitting in my room alone and the feeling of it haunted me. Walking into the mall with Alice and Rosalie, it was like there was breath on the back of my neck making my skin crawl and my hair reach out for the source. Sitting in class, it was like a shadow—detached but still following.

I didn't say a word to anyone about it, I was sure they would think I was crazy. There was nothing out of the ordinary going on; it was the same thing every day. No strange faces, no one staring when I looked around, but the haunting feeling was always with me.

Emmett and Rosalie were together a lot more; if Edward was off doing—whatever Edward did—they would be holding hands and flirting, feeding one another while their laughter filled the air around us. If Edward came anywhere near the cafeteria, Rosalie would put space between them and talk to me. I wondered if Alice and Jasper did the same thing.

I was sure they did. I saw them at the hospital. Yet at lunch, they would sit close enough to touch but never do it. Even as they whispered back and forth under their breaths.

I wanted to bring it up and tell them that I'd seen them kissing, but I knew they would act even weirder in front of me and I really didn't want that. Jasper and I were still close and I wanted to keep it that way.

"Bella?" I jumped about ten feet in the air when the hand came down on my shoulder, startling me from my thoughts.

"Jesus, Jasper. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

He chuckled playfully, wrapping his arm around my neck and guiding me toward our first class. "I called you three times."

"Sorry," I sighed, pushing my hair out of my eyes and pulling my books to my chest. "I was miles away."

"I've told you, daydreaming about me isn't good for your health."

"Obviously," I laughed, taking my seat as he slid into the one next to it.

"So, were you thinking about me?" he pushed, his azure eyes fixed on mine, his face feigning seriousness. It's a shame he could never hide the laughter from his eyes. They came alive.

"Don't push your luck, Whitlock."

"That's a no," he sighed, but I could see the unformed smile on his lips begging for escape. "Are you heading out to New Iberia this weekend to see Seth?"

"No, Sue said there's no point; he's passed out most of the time from the painkillers." I couldn't tell him that I was terrified of facing Sue again, even though she would never blame me or turn me away. I was being ridiculous, yet there was no way I could stop that right now. It was still too raw and fresh in my mind.

"What did Leah have to say about that?"

I laughed, it seemed Jasper knew her almost as well as I did. "She told her that there was still another person in the house that would love to see her best friend."

Jasper shook his head and sat back in his chair, but I didn't hear what he said because my eyes were scanning the room around me. I hated this; I had never in my life been this paranoid before, and I had lived with cottonmouths, gators and other swamp animals that lurked in the tall grass by the bayou. Yet here I was, in the middle of an occupied room, feeling self-conscious because I was sure someone was watching me.

The hand on my arm made me yelp out and spin in my chair. I almost slid out of it completely but Jasper caught me. The feeling seemed to evaporate with my dignity.

"Why the hell are you so jumpy?" he asked, his face holding no hints of humor. He examined my features and narrowed his eyes.

"I'm fine."

"I wasn't inquiring as to your health. What's going on?"

I took a second, trying to turn away from him. I wasn't sure I wanted to share this yet. I didn't know if I was ready. How did I even put it into words?

Then there was the fact that I might actually have to explain that I had felt this way at the bus station.

"Nothing, it's just . . ."

"Just?"

"I feel like I'm being watched, and I know it's crazy, but it's freaking me out a bit."

Jasper's eyes moved around the room in one long, slow sweep. I knew he wouldn't find anything, because I had just done the same thing.

"You still feel it?"

I shook my head before covering my face with the palm of my hand. I felt like I was losing my last shred of sanity. I knew I wouldn't feel so bad if I could see something out of place. If I could see someone even looking at me, but there really was nothing. People were in their usual groups, chatting like they always did. It was unnerving.

Before Jasper could say anything else, the teacher walked into the room and demanded our attention, leaving very little room for a discussion. Thankfully, the rest of the day passed without any further incidents. Even when Jasper tried to bring it up later, I told him not to worry about it. Looking dubious about it, he nodded and dropped it.

The house was blissfully empty when I got home after school. I drove myself now so I wouldn't cramp Emmett's style; he picked Rosalie up in the mornings. That was a huge sign of where they were, yet they still hid the handholding. I knew they were trying to ease into the situation, but from my own experience, I was glad I got the band-aid effect. It was easier to process.

Thankfully, after a lot of explaining to Mrs. Cope, I'd managed to get my own parking permit, one that hadn't been abused by Peter and his atrocious parking skills.

I made my way upstairs, figuring I would call Leah and see how Seth was doing. I called every day and her answer was the same. "He's a spoiled brat that sleeps all day." In fact, she'd recently started calling him Daisy the Dairy Cow. Being on the phone with her was hilarious, she mooed at him every time he made a comment. It was times like that I really missed living there.

Instead, I was in the huge house that doubled as a museum, with people I probably saw less than the people I didn't live with. It was why I was running for the sanctuary of my room. It was something that belonged to me, filled with mementos of my life. It suddenly pushed me upward with more force.

I didn't get far though; the clopping of my heels came to an abrupt stop almost halfway through my ascent. I could hear someone moving around downstairs.

"Hello? Dad? Iz?" I called out, leaning over the railing. "Anybody?"

The silence was an ominous one, because I knew I hadn't imagined hearing the movement. I moved down a stair and called out again as I pulled out my cell phone and held it at the ready.

"Hello? Tanya? Emmett?"

Silence.

I made my way the rest of the way downstairs, cursing myself as I took one step at a time. Why the hell was I going to investigate? What could I do about it? I had a phone, it wasn't as though it could be brandished as a weapon. There wasn't even a guarantee I would get a chance to call anyone.

"Hello?"

I stepped onto the marble of the foyer and took a deep breath, fear making my legs shake as I took quiet steps toward the living room. There was nobody in there. There was, however, a clatter of plates from the back of the house, and I realized whoever it was hadn't heard me from back there.

Filled with a sense of relief, I made my way to the kitchen, my heels staccato against the floor as I marched forward. I was ready to reprimand whoever it was that frightened the living hell out of me, but as I stepped around the door I froze, my stomach rolling uncomfortably. There was a reason I wasn't getting an answer.

it was Peter and Jessica.

"Oh Jesus," I screeched, turning around so I didn't have to see Peter's naked ass for the third time in so many months. "Could you get a room."

Peter laughed; I could hear his frustration as Jess whined in his ear.

"You're making a habit of this, Bella."

"Not intentionally. Maybe you should go somewhere more private and—I dunno—shut a door."

"Who have you been fucking?" Jess asked, her voice throaty and hoarse with her heavy breathing.

"Nobody important, baby. Let's go finish this in my room."

_Baby?_ I mouthed to myself before trotting back to the stairs and heading up them two at a time. I needed to seriously sterilize that counter before anyone used it again. The thought made me shudder as I took to my room as quickly as I possibly could.

Unfortunately for me, Jessica was neither subtle nor quiet. Her nasally voice echoed through the house like nails on a chalkboard. I had my music up so loud I couldn't think, which meant it was impossible to hear a thing so there was no chance of calling Leah just yet. I turned it down periodically, wondering whether I was free from the screaming and calls to God and Jesus.

If I thought about it, the whole situation was sick but pathetically deceitful. Peter was screwing Izzy and Jessica and so was Mike. Did they know? Did any of them know who was screwing who? I soon got my answer, even over the beat of the music.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Izzy's voice was almost high enough for only dogs to hear. I turned off the music and ventured down the stairs, opening my door a crack so I could see through it.

Izzy was standing in his doorway with her hands on her hips, staring in at the couple.

"I can't believe you would do this! She's my best fucking friend."

"She's _my_ girlfriend," he answered in the same whiny tone.

"I hate you," Izzy seethed, her foot actually stomping the ground below it like a child having a temper tantrum.

"Feeling's mutual, baby."

Izzy spun on her heel and marched toward her room, throwing the door open and slamming it behind her. The only sound that followed was Peter shouting. "You could have shut the fucking door."

His door slammed shut and I moved across the hardwood to Izzy's, wondering how well my appearance would be taken. Knocking gently, I tried get her attention.

"Fuck off, Jess."

"It's me—Bella," I clarified.

"What do _you_ want?"

"You wanna talk?" I asked as the wailing picked up again in the room across the hall.

The force with which she opened her door sent my hair flying over my shoulders. Her eyes narrowed at Peter's room before turning on me. No matter how much she tried to hide it, I could see the pain residing behind the steel gray.

Just when I thought she was going to reject me, her hand gripped mine and pulled me into the room, the slam behind me telling me she was shutting out the noise.

"Bitch. She couldn't even come in here and talk to me. Fucking whore. Did you know about this?" she demanded.

"Not until today. I found them in the kitchen together," I answered, perching on the edge of the bed and watching her pace aggressively.

"Fucking bitch. I can't believe this, I mean, I guess it's not her fault, she didn't know, she couldn't . . . but Peter," she growled, her hands going to her hips as she started pacing, a maniacal laugh falling from her. "He's gonna fucking get my foot in his tiny prepubescent nuts."

There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but I knew most of them would piss her off. She was already wound up, there was no sense in making her feel anymore ganged up on than she already did. Her relationship with Peter was wrong, but I could see from her behavior, that she must have cared for him in her own way, however sick it was. Mentioning it was probably for the best wasn't going to be something she wanted to hear.

"Izzy."

"Don't say it, if you're going to preach about me fucking Peter, just . . . don't."

"I wasn't."

"Then what were you going to say?" she snapped, her body still as her hands moved to her hips.

"Are you okay?"

Her eyes widened and narrowed in one smooth motion. Surprise to suspicion as she tried to calculate whether I was being sarcastic or not. It was like she couldn't fathom someone being worried about her. As though my inquiry was something she hadn't been asked before.

"I'm fine. I just want to be alone."

I got up off the bed and gave her a small smile. I could appreciate that. Sometimes it was better to let the thoughts take control so you could organize them a little. I wasn't exactly sure that was Izzy's style, but I could take a hint.

"You know where I am if you want to talk."

"Thanks." Her voice was genuine and I fought to make my steps not falter with my surprise.

Unfortunately, I was stuck in the house all weekend and was subjected to the screams between Peter and Izzy whenever they were in the vicinity of one another. I had wanted to do something fun. Go out and just be with my friends, but I felt awkward asking. What if they were paired off? I didn't want to be the fifth wheel.

Unfortunately, being alone so much also meant I was plagued with the same feeling I had been having all week and it was making my stomach turn violently. I was actually happy to be at school on Monday, surrounded by the familiarity of my friends.

"Did you end up going to Leah's this weekend?" Rosalie asked as I sat down with my tray and prodded at the nondescript food that lay on it.

"No, I stayed at home and listened to Izzy and Peter scream at one another," I laughed, looking over at her where she was cuddled into Emmett's side. "It was fabulous."

"Why didn't you call?" Alice asked, leaning over the table. "Jasper and I just went to the French Quarter and walked around a bit."

"I just needed to wind down a bit after last week," I said, avoiding Jasper's eyes as he tried to see the lie he knew would be there.

"I swear, that bitch is gonna be shoved in her locker one day, and I'll be the one doing the shoving," Peter growled, approaching the table and slamming the tray on it. "She's got such a fucking mouth on her."

"What's going on now?" Emmett asked, his arm going around Rosalie's shoulder as she leaned over to pick something up.

"She's cock blocking."

Only Emmett and I looked at one another. The rest of the group snickered; the sound was worthy of a third grade class that just heard a rude word. Unfortunately, the two of us understood exactly why she was doing it.

"Why are you screwing Jessica anyway, man? You have to know that chick's been working her way through the yearbook," Jasper asked. His eyes slightly crinkled with his disgust.

"She gives great fucking head."

I pushed my tray away from me now that I no longer had an appetite, and I noticed Rosalie and Alice do the same. I glared at Peter and shook my head.

"What?" he asked, his eyes on me as he cocked an eyebrow.

"Knowing what Jessica Stanley puts in her mouth isn't something that helps me digest food. It's more of a gag reflex," I countered.

"You're just jealous. I'm getting some and none of you are."

"No, that's not it . . ." Rosalie said, pausing from dramatic effect. "It's where you're getting it from, and the reflex your looking for is nausea."

"Fuck you guys."

"Another no," Alice said quietly, her eyes not even focused on the conversation.

"You all think you're so fucking funny . . ." he continued to cuss everyone out, but my eyes weren't focused on him anymore. In fact, the silence at the table made it very obvious I wasn't the only one who had stopped listening. Edward was standing about ten feet from the table, his eyes on Emmett's arm around Rosalie. He backed away from us, two steps, before turning and strolling from the room, his hand going to the back of his neck.

"Fuck." Emmett's voice was deep and full of remorse as he moved to get up.

"I'll go," I offered, standing up.

"Bella . . ."

"No, just let her try," Rosalie said, cutting him off while offering me a smile.

I picked up my bag and took off toward the doors, Peter's voice asking _what the big fucking deal was?_ trailing behind me. As soon as I was in the hall, my eyes darted down the several corridors stemming off from here.  
Where would he go?

My first inclination was the pool, but when I banged through the doors there was no one there. The last of the team was coming out of the locker room.

"Is Edward in there?"

The boy shook his head and went to say something more, but I was already half out of the room and didn't hear it. I was trying to figure where else he would go. I tried to wrack my brain, I knew my way around here well enough, but there were surely secret little spaces that the people who'd been here since freshman year knew about.

I remembered the one time I had been pissed off enough to march out of the cafeteria. I had gone outside to get some air. Maybe he'd had the same inclination. It couldn't hurt.

I walked as quickly as I could toward the back of the school and made my way through the double doors. The cool December wind wrapped around me, but I moved forward, ignoring the bite in the air. As soon as I saw the shock of copper hair, I slowed down and tried to figure out exactly what I was going to say now I'd found him.

"Edward?" I called his name as I climbed the steps of the bleachers and slid down onto the cool metal next to him. "You okay?"

Edward laughed awkwardly, his hands balled into to fists crushed against one another between his legs. I waited patiently for him to say anything, but as the laughter died to nothing, he simply bowed his head.

"It's weird, isn't it?" I sighed, wrapping my arms around myself as his leg tapped impatiently. "I thought I was so ready for them to move on already."

"Jasper?" he asked, his voice soft as his leg stilled. I did nothing but nod in response. I didn't want him to think I'd come out for a pity party. "They into public displays too then?"

"No, they hide it well, but I saw it."

"Saw what?"

"They kissed outside the hospital when they thought they were alone." I shifted in my seat and curled into my legs a little, trying to keep warm. "I know it's nothing compared to what you're feeling, Edward. You were with her for a year."

"Yeah and I gave them my blessing when I bowed out gracefully, I shouldn't be feeling like this."

"Of course you should. In fact, I would think there was something wrong with you if you didn't."

Edward tipped his head to the side and shrugged off his blazer, handing it to me. "You're cold."

I slipped on the too-big jacket and snuggled inside of it, trying to hide from the wind. The silence between us was palpable, a living breathing thing that seemed to linger. I wasn't sure if I should say something more or let him take the lead and do the talking.

"You seem to be handling it better than I am."

I sighed and turned to him, my legs bouncing up and down to keep them warm. "Yeah, but Jasper and I were never officially together. We had an understanding. We were only ever friends. You and Rosalie were together for a year. You were in a relationship."

He nodded and hung his head again.

"Do you still love her?"

"Bella, I . . ."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It was a stupid question," I said, cutting him off. I hated the disappointment that seemed to fill me in the silence that once again lingered between us. Edward was hurting and I was being selfish. It was a stupid question to begin with. Of course he still loved her, they'd spent all of their time together.

"Is she happy?" he asked. I couldn't see his face, so the nod I wanted to administer to soften the blow was pointless.

"I think so," I said quietly. "But I think she's worried about you too. So is Emmett. You're his best friend."

"Thank you."

"What for?" It wasn't as though I'd done anything.

"Coming out here to talk to me. If I know Emmett like I think I do, he tried to come after me. I don't think I'm ready for that. I need to let it sink in for a while."

"I figured," I said, offering him a smile. "I just want you to know you can talk to me whenever you want about this. I know Emmett would be your first choice, but considering the circumstances I know that would be harder. I'm here if you just want to hang out and talk."

"You really are nothing like your sister, are you?"

"Well, we kind of look alike." I grinned, shivering in the dark red blazer, stirring the smell of him so it enveloped me. "But no, I like to think that we don't share a lot of our traits."

"I knew it," he sighed.

I took that as the compliment it was surely meant to be.

"Why do you hate her so much?"

Edward laughed bitterly and sat up, his green eyes hardening as the hate seethed behind them. "We've known each other since we were kids. Never really friends, but we knew one another. I was a year older so we didn't even have classes together. When I met Emmett, I knew immediately we were going to be friends, but Izzy was a pusher. I could see she was doing everything in her power to make Em miserable because he got along with your dad. I confronted her about it and told her to stop being such a bitch."

"I imagine she didn't take that so well."

Edward snorted. "Yeah, well it's not like I cared."

"So what happened?"

"James Webber happened," he growled, his eyes narrowing. I was taken aback by the pure hatred that seemed to boil there, the emerald of his eyes hardening and darkening with the shift in his mood. "Well I'm getting ahead of myself actually. I could tolerate her for a while, in small doses. I figured she couldn't do much harm, but she came onto to me one night at a party and I shot her down. I had just started dating Rosalie, and she was being really persistent. Apparently, she doesn't like being told no, and the next thing I know James Webber has me up against a wall asking why the fuck I had my hands on his girlfriend."

I put my hand over my mouth as I felt my eyes widen. I had no idea that Izzy and James had officially dated. Imagining James being that violent also threw me left of center. I knew he was a little persistent, but I hadn't ever figured him to be a bully.

"Yeah so, me being the idiot that I am, told him I wouldn't ever touch his whore of a girlfriend. He punched me in the gut so fucking hard I doubled over, he knocked all of the wind out of me. When I stood up, he hit me again before I could even swing at him. Of course Izzy couldn't just let it go, she marched over and slapped me as she told people I came onto her and wouldn't take no for an answer."

What a bitch. If I hadn't known Izzy as well as I did. If I hadn't known her backstabbing and manipulative ways, I would maybe have taken more time to believe she was capable of such a thing. Unfortunately, the truth spoke for itself. I had been on the receiving end of Izzy's conniving schemes and this sounded so much like her there was no question in my mind that it was exactly the way it had gone down.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have told you. You're her sister."

"Yeah, and I've been on the receiving end of her deceptions. Believe me, I know what she's capable of."

"Yet you still bailed her out after that party."

I looked over at Edward and shrugged. "It was a great bargaining chip. We stay out of each other's way."

I could hear the bell ringing back at the school and stood up slowly. Edward didn't move. I took his blazer off and handed it to him with a smile. I couldn't miss the pang that followed the action though. I already missed the comfort of it. The smell of him surrounding me.

I felt the blush rise on my cheeks and hoped I could play it off as being stung by the cold should he ask.

"I should get to class. Are you going in?"

"No, I have a free period. All those AP classes paid off," he said, smiling up at me briefly. "Thanks, Bella. Talking helped."

"Well the offer's always there."

He nodded and pulled his jacket on around him as I made my way down the bleachers and back toward the school. Each interaction with Edward was so different. This conversation, so serious and heartfelt, was such a contradiction to the lunch we'd spent in the stands by the pool. I wasn't disappointed by it either. Seeing this side of him was like getting a small glimpse of the person he was without his walls piled up.

As soon as I stepped in from the brisk wind and into the sanctuary of the school, I could smell him on my shirt and smiled. This fascination with him was sick, especially after learning how much he still felt for Rosalie. I thought I had accepted the fact that we would only ever be friends and that was enough for me.

"_Isabella,_" Mike Newton sang, he was standing just inside the door, his arms crossed over his chest and a smirk on his lips.

"What do you want, Michael?" I asked, making a point to full name him the same way he had me. I figured keeping the playing field level was the safest bet.

"You told Izzy didn't you?"

"Told her what exactly?"

"I know you saw me under the bleachers with Jessica, now she's all over my nuts about spending too much time with her best friend."

"You're a fucking pig," I seethed, moving to step past him, but he grabbed my arm roughly, pulling me to a standstill.

"If I find out you said a fucking word, I swear to god I'll . . ."

"You'll what?" I snapped, shaking his arm off mine. "You think I'm scared of you? Is that it? You're a bully Mike, and bullies always pick on people smaller than them. You lay another finger on me. I will knock you out myself."

"I'd like to see you try, princess."

I started walking away again but his hand gripped my ass; it was hard and rough and hurt like hell. Without even thinking I turned around and brought my hand with me, the palm meeting his disgusting rounded cheek with a loud snapping sound following it.

"You ever touch me again. I will cut your dick off," I growled, the skin on my palm tingling.

Mike took a step toward me, anger a glint in his eye. I had gone too far. I'd thought I could probably set him straight and take him on a little bit but my reflex action of slapping him had just pissed him off. I wanted to kick him in the groin and run for my life, but I wasn't sure if that would just push him further.

He took another step, his fists balled at his sides.

"Touch her and you will bleed for a week, Newton. I will kick your ass and leave what's left of it for Emmett," Edward said with the cool breeze that swept into the hall from the now open door.

"It's none of your goddamn business, Masen."

"I'm making it my business, Newton. Back off."

Mike gave me one last glare and stepped away from me as Edward approached, the door slamming shut behind him. I had never been so happy to see someone in my life.

* * *

**A/N: I know Bella's a little blind, I also know that she needs a nice big eye opener ;) It will happen sooner rather than later though ;)**

**Thanks as always to my amazing beta, Annabanana, she's somehow able to take my writing and make it pretty. She's awesome like that!**

**A HUGE hug to my girls, Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic for being guineapigs and pre-reading for me, as well as handholding and keeping what little sanity I have left in tact ;)**

**Massive hugs to everyone of you who review. Thank you for all the kind words you throw at me each week, you keep me smiling and you have no idea how much I enjoy your theories and questions. As always I hate answering the creepy feeling questions with "No Comment" but I really can't say anything more. Love you guys and I hope you have an amazing week.**

**Much love and HUGE hugs ~Weezy~ **


	32. A New Friend

_**All things Twilight, belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer, the rest well apart from a now very distant, and subtle influence of V.C. Andrews, is all from my strange mind. I never said I was sane ;) Happy Tuesday!**_

* * *

**A New Friend**

_Rip the earth in two with your mind_  
_Seal the urge which ensues with brass wires_  
_I never meant you any harm_  
_But your tears feel warm as they fall on my forearm_  
**_I Gave You All by Mumford & Sons_**

* * *

I think Edward took on the role of my protector after that. Being the two odd ones out in the group, he and I found ourselves spending more time together. He made me smile, he was an amazing conversationalist, and being the idiot I was – I was completely and utterly lost in him.

Unfortunately, the afternoon on the bleachers had stuck with me and I knew that he wasn't over Rosalie. Without words, he'd confirmed my suspicions that he still loved her.

I understood it.

Understanding it didn't stop the pain.

I was essentially torturing myself by spending so much time with him, but I couldn't help it. If I was being honest, I'd already set myself up for failure and felt resigned to the dull ache that went with spending time with him. Mainly, because it was worth it. Every aching second was worth it.

I would sit on the stands in the pool as he practiced, doodling in my book because I had been busted for texting Leah again. We ate lunch together and talked. It wasn't just idle chatter either; it was deep, meaningful and interesting.

His voice was like a vortex for me. I seemed, more often than not, to let go and fall into the lilting cadence as it surrounded me. He articulated every word and sentence he uttered. Even with the sounds simply mesmerizing me, I was still able to focus on the words themselves, drinking them in and processing them so I could answer accordingly.

The only thing we didn't agree on was the way the table would go silent as we sat together and talked on the days we joined the others. He was sure it was because they assumed we were together and I assumed it was because they were respectively hiding their relationships from us. When, after a week of whispering between ourselves, the others started relaxing more, we knew it had to be a little bit of both.

The whole group seemed to slide back into the familiar ease it had been when I'd first started. When there were no defined lines or hidden emotions. I could even say it was easier to watch Jasper and Alice hug and laugh together like they'd always meant to be.

"Hey, Bella."

I slowed down as Edward's voice filled the emptying corridor. He jogged up beside me and threw his arm around my neck, which was so commonplace now, even if it did feel like he was about to rub his knuckles into my skull as though I were a younger sibling.

"Hey," I offered in greeting, picking up the pace again.

"What are you doing tonight?" My heart picked up it's pace before tripping and slowing again. It was like a ball being thrown for a dog, but it's a fake out. The hope—still alive—made the ache so much worse.

"Nothing as far as I know. Why?"

"Well, you're a girl . . ."

"I am."

"It's Friday." My heart tripped again.

"Uh huh."

"You're my friend . . ."

The dreaded 'F' word.

"Yes. Do you have a conclusion to this very obvious fact stating?"

"I do."

I couldn't help but laugh as he drew out the word 'do', especially when he turned on the charm and grinned, making my heart canter along my spine.

"Well, I need some help."

"With?" I asked, wondering what the hell could need such a build up. This was typical of him though, and it wasn't as though I was complaining. At least I got to spend time with him.

"Shopping, I need to do some Christmas shopping. My dad said if I buy another bag for my mother, I'm building the new closet to put the damn thing in."

"So you want help present shopping or with lumber supplies?"

Edward's jaw dropped open as his arm tightened around my neck. "Smart ass."

I smirked in response.

This was what killed me, this banter, this playful air about us that would normally lead up to . . . something for everyone else, but for us it was a prelude to a childish comeback. So I did what I had to do and stuck out my tongue, which he inevitably tried to catch.

"Well?" he prompted. "Do you think you could help me out? I promise I won't be tactless and buy your present in front of you."

"You're buying me a present?"

"It's Christmas."

"You're lucky it's my favorite holiday."

"You're a star." He wrapped his other arm around me and pulled me into his chest where his scent enveloped me. My arms were wedged against his abs holding me hostage. This was too close. I had maintained a safe distance from him for so long. His arm around my neck being the closest I had been to him since the afternoon of frolicking by the pool.

"Yeah, yeah. You say that now."

"I'll follow you home so you can drop off your car."

I nodded and he released me from the binds of his arms.

"See you later then," he said, stepping away and heading down the hall the way he'd come. I simply stood in a daze, jumping as the bell startled me out of the little daydream that was forming in my head.

Knowing I was spending the afternoon with him inevitably meant the clock was going to go backwards for the rest of the day, and it didn't disappoint. As stupid as it was, I was almost bouncing in my seat at the end of the day.

Jasper kept shooting me looks as my eyes drew along the same pattern every five minutes and I knew he was holding back from asking me what the hell I was so worked up about, not that I had an answer for him, because not even I was sure about the why of it.

The clock finally granted me a reprieve and sped up briefly.

When it was finally time to go, I heard Jasper mumble something about the case of the Fridays and I gave him a grin before darting out of class to head to my car. I only had to wait five minutes until Edward pulled up behind me with his music blaring and he gave me a nod.

As per the plan he followed me home.

"Hey, can I change in your house? As much as I love our uniform, I don't think it would make a statement in the mall."

"Sure, I need to change anyway," I answered, rattling my keys in the air to tell him to get his ass moving.

He followed me into the house and up into my room not saying a word. The silence wasn't what I would call awkward, but there was a certain air of anticipation to it. Him, my empty room, and me. Alone. Maybe it was one sided but I couldn't help the excited bursts in my chest. The silence was almost deafening. Well that was until we hit the second floor landing and Jessica's usual Holy Communion began.

"Is that . . ."

"Yes."

"And . . ."

"Yes."

"Peter's still dating Skankasaurus Rex. Why am I not surprised?"

"Oh. My. God," I said, putting my hand across my mouth in shock.

"What?" he asked, spinning around and looking for the cause of the problem. Not that he was going to find anything.

"Did Edward Masen just make a joke?"

Edward rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his hair, drawing out the strands. I watched them fall back into place haphazardly. "Smart ass."

"Original."

"Damn, you're on form today."

"No, you're just lame."

I waited for it, and I knew it was coming.

He flipped me off.

Standard reaction between us. The first day we'd had lunch at the pool, when I'd teased him, reared its ugly head again. That was the normal reaction. Touching, chasing, and laughing, but between us, it was simply a show of the tongue or a one-fingered salute.

I changed in my bathroom while he changed in my room. I knocked on the door tentatively before stepping out into the bedroom because I really didn't want to catch him half naked and gawk.

We bantered again in the car and most of the way to the mall he slapped my hand away from the radio on several occasions as I tried to change the station. I was doing it purposely by the time we arrived at the mall.

The Christmas lights and decorations were all coupled nicely with the smell of cinnamon and apples. The music from every store was jolly and seasonal. Whenever we were in a store I hummed along with the songs, which only seemed to make him mock me more.

It was really no wonder he picked out bags, his taste in everything else was awful. I think I finally cracked when he picked up a mixing machine in Williams Sonoma.

"Can I give you a hint?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and glad I hadn't left my shopping till the last minute.

"Okay, oh wise one, hit me."

"No woman wants appliances for Christmas. It's very nineteen-fifties and not very complimentary."

"So then what do I get her?" His hand brushed the bronze waves back on his head again, making some of the strands stand at weird angles, the lights from the Christmas decorations setting off the natural highlights.

"Something thoughtful."

"Like?" he asked, putting down one of the many accessories that came with the mixer and turned to face me.

"I don't know your mom well," I sighed, pausing for thought as I wracked my brain for the two times I had met her. "What are her hobbies?"

"She changes them every month, I can't keep up with that shit."

"What's your dad getting her?"

"Sapphire earrings set in platinum."

"Well, maybe you could get a bracelet or necklace to match that. Some perfume. Oh wait, I got it. Come with me."

I pulled him across the mall to a store I had seen millions of times before but never been in.

"What the hell?"

"She collects them. I noticed it the other day when I was waiting in her study."

"Wedgewood? Really?"

I let out all the air in my lungs.

"Then get a portrait of your ugly mug done and frame it in a pretty silver shiner of a frame. Shit, what's more precious than her only son?" I laughed, rubbing my forehead.

"Bella, you're a genius."

"I know," I giggled, giving off a little curtsy.

"No, really. I just need to find the place." He took off through the mall, making me almost run to keep up with his long strides.

"Where are we going?"

"Her stupid little dog. I have a couple weeks. I'm going to get a portrait done of that little shit."

I let off a shriek as he pulled me towards the antique framing store at the other end of the mall. They had an in house artist that could do oil paintings. As sad as it was, I knew it was going to be a cherished gift. The dog was like her second born child.

Thankfully, the guy said that he would work on it and get it as soon as possible and it wasn't going to be cheap. As Edward picked out the frame and matte and every other thing they tried to tack on, I let my eyes coast over some of the more beautiful pictures the artist had done of the city. Seeing it through his eyes brought it to life. Even the rowdy evenings on Bourbon Street looked amazing. The colors brought with it the smells and flavors, the music and laughter. It was magnificent.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah, where to next?"

"Well, you're going to get coffee."

I frowned at him, and then grinned. I normally hated presents; I still did on some level, but after being ignored for seventeen years, I figured it was about time I just went with it.

"I am so going to stalk you."

"Don't you dare."

"Kill joy."

Edward threw back his head and laughed. He pointed to the Cafe Dumonde down by the food court. "Go, now. I am going to keep checking you're down there and if you're so much as looking in my direction I am going to go all evasive on your ass."

"You're so bossy."

Edward pushed me gently toward the escalators. Watching me as I descended to the lower level. His smile was wide and teasing as he took off into the crowd of loaded down shoppers.

Resigned, I went and stood in line and waited to be served. Seeing as this was like a gas station for humans there was a long enough line to let me get through at least three Christmas songs. I could hear the natives getting restless and mumbling about whether the barista was growing the damn beans. With the holly jolly Christmas season came short tempers and impatience. It was almost compulsory.

I put in my order and moved along, waiting for the hot coffee at the end.

"Bella?" I spun around and faced the direction of the voice I recognized. He was the last person I expected to see at the mall today.

"James," I said, unsure of whether I should even be greeting him. After what Edward told me, I felt a little like a traitor standing here with him.

"You catching up on your Christmas shopping? You must be a last minuter like me."

"No, actually. I'm here with a friend. I'm all finished." I walked away from the stall and felt him following me away from the loitering crowd that were still waiting for their orders. "Well I should really get back to my friend, but . . ."

"Am I that annoying?" he laughed, as I leaned against a railing that closed in the small kiosk and its tables and chairs. I hated blowing people off, and I knew I was terrible at it, but normally people took the hint and politely said their goodbyes. James was calling me out and I wasn't sure what to say to him.

"No," I smiled. Unsure of what should follow, so I improvised. "I just figured you had shopping to do."

"I'm taking a well-earned break. Only got Ange left to shop for really, and she's easy to buy for."

I smiled and nodded, agreeing with the assessment. Rosalie and I had practically bought her an entirely new closet of clothes, encouraging her to get rid of the jeans and t-shirt ensembles she was known for. Alice was the same, but at least she had her own style to go with it. Angela's were just baggy shirts and baggy jeans, yet she was slim and curvy under all that extra material.

I almost barked out a laugh, I was starting to sound like Rosalie and that was scary.

"What's on your mind? You're grinning like a Cheshire cat."

"I was just thinking how, since I've been here, my whole outlook on fashion has changed."

James smiled and bowed his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "So you and Rosalie are responsible for my sister's ever revolving wardrobe."

"Guilty as charged." I grinned, my teeth hiding in my bottom lip as I tried to hide my joy at her gradual change. "She seems happier though."

"Yeah, and every time I go out with her I have to deflect the growing attention."

"God, you're such a big brother."

"Is that a bad thing?" he chuckled, switching his weight from one foot to another as he took a mouthful of his coffee.

"No, not really, but it can be hard on your sister, so keep that in mind."

He nodded and looked down at his shoes, an awkward emptiness filling the air around us. It wasn't even a silence with the abundance of noise coming from the crowd surrounding us. I wanted to say goodbye before Edward saw me talking to him. There was nothing I could do to change the past, I hadn't been there and I had become acquainted with James before I was even aware of their history, but it didn't mean I had to put Edward in that position.

"Well, I should go, my friend will be wondering where I went," I lied, shifting my coffee into the other hand.

Unfortunately, James was pretty useless at hints and stepped forward, his eyes meeting mine and searching for something there. I wasn't sure what that something was, but I knew he wouldn't find it.

"Bella," he sighed, his body moving into a lean.

I slid along the rail and stepped away from it so I wouldn't feel so trapped. I guess there was no being friends with this guy, he really didn't seem to understand that there would never be an us, on a date or otherwise.

"Jesus, you don't get a hint do you?"

I spun around to see Edward standing behind me, his eyebrows high on his head as he appraised the situation.

"Oh, fuck me. It's you, Masen. I should have fucking known. This is nothing to do with you, fuck off."

"You can't even see it, can you? You're making the girl uncomfortable."

I took a step forward and pushed at Edward's chest so their little spat wouldn't escalate into something bigger. This was the very reason I wanted to get rid of James before Edward showed up. I could handle the awkward; I just couldn't handle more of this.

"Come on, time to go, Edward."

I didn't know what happened behind me but I felt Edward push toward me as his face contorted with anger.

"Stay away from her, James," Edward growled, making my head snap up to his eyes. The green had such hard edges around them that it felt as though I should flinch. "I'm not fucking around."

"She's a big girl, Edward," James said in a cocky voice. "She can make her own decisions. After all, you have been shelved in the friend section."

I could feel my blood boiling as James continued to provoke Edward. In a stupid move I turned around to face him.

"Shut up, James. You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

He shrugged his shoulders and smirked at me, his eyes leveling over my head at where Edward stood behind me.

"You know where to find me, Bella. Good catching up with you." Then he walked away.

I thought it was all over with; I let my shoulders relax and took a deep breath.

Before I could even turn and apologize to Edward, he grabbed my arm with his free hand and marched me away from the kiosk towards a corridor that led to the back of the stores. His grip was tight on my arm but not enough to hurt me. As soon as we were halfway down the isolated hall, he pushed me gently against the wall and dropped his bags at his feet.

"What the fuck were you doing talking to him?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, recoiling as though I'd been slapped.

"You heard me, Bella. You know the history I have with the guy."

I blew out all of the air in my lungs and tried to push back my anger at being spoken to like that. I understood his frustration, but being root marched across the mall was not sitting well with me. I gathered all of my strength and attempted to explain in a calm manner.

"He's Ange's brother. He stopped to say hello."

"He's bad fucking news, Bella. Don't talk to him again."

I could feel my eyes widen. This was ridiculous. "Do not talk to me that way, Edward. I won't stand for it. I'm not a fucking lap dog you can push around; I'm your friend. I know you don't get along with the guy, but don't you dare bark commands at me."

"Bella . . ."

"No, Edward. No one has ever spoken to me the way you just did. You have no right . . ."

Before I could even finish talking his hands came up to the wall on either side of my head, and his lips pressed against mine with a sense of urgency.

Damn his lips were soft.

My stomach clawed its way up my body, pushing my heart into my throat as I hungrily kissed him back. I was shaking half with anger and half with pure lust. My body was a live wire as he pushed up against me and kissed me deeper. The hunger, the aggression all seemed to push back my common sense, letting me lose myself in the moment.

His tongue drew along my bottom lip and I parted my lips as my body bowed into his. My fingers gripped the shirt over his hips, the material bunching in my fingers as my whole body flared to life. He was nowhere and everywhere, filling my senses as my need for him grew to more than I could withstand.

Then he growled at me, his lips pressing against mine with almost an anger. I realized exactly what this was about, but I had pushed it all aside in a moment of selfish desperation. He was reacting to James and what he'd said. He didn't want me that way; he was still in love with Rosalie.

I dropped my hands and turned my head to the side, dragging in aching breaths as my chest rose and fell with the effort. Edward leaned in, his hands still caging me against the wall as his forehead came to rest against the hair at the side of my head. His breath moving the strands as we both fought for air.

"Bella . . ."

"Don't," I sighed, bringing my hand to my mouth to trap the building sob within me. He didn't need to see how desperate I was for him.

"I want you," he whispered close to my ear, making my eyes squeeze shut.

"You can't. This is just a reaction to James and I won't let you do this. I know you still love Rosalie."

"Bella . . ."

"Please don't. We're good friends, and I understand that . . . that whatever that was riled you up, but I can't . . . I won't . . . I have to go."

I stepped forward, but Edward's body moved in closer, his hands sliding down the chipping paint of the walls and trapping me like a caged animal. I wanted to turn around and fall into the illusion, to throw caution to the wind and just live in the lie, but I knew it would kill me.

"Stay with me."

"Edward, I won't ruin our friendship based on a reaction to a bully's words. I can't, I don't want to lose you."

"Then listen to me, listen to what I'm saying." His lips pressed against my head just above my ear, his forehead not once leaving its cradle against my hair.

I wanted to cry.

I could feel it building in my chest but my pride pushed it back so I could wait until I was alone. I wanted him so badly that my chest felt as though it were breaking apart with brutal force. If I could have folded in on myself I would have.

"I should go." I pushed against the arm that was blocking my escape, and he finally dropped it, gripping my hand in his as I stepped away.

"Bella, I know you want this."

A lump the size of Texas trapped itself in my throat, making it impossible to drag in the breath I so desperately needed. I had to say my piece and walk away so we could both regroup. I just hoped what I had to say wouldn't push him away forever.

"I want you more than you'll ever know, but it's not enough."

Before he could say another word I walked away, dropping his hand as I rushed to the end of the corridor. My hysterics seemed to climb to the surface as I blocked out anything he had left to say to me. The ringing in my ears seemed to match the throbbing pain in my body.

The revelation hit like a brick wall standing in my path. It explained everything. The pain, the ache, the hole as wide as the Grand Canyon in my chest. I was in love with him. Somewhere during the process of becoming his friend I had fallen completely and undeniably in love with him.

I was the only one to blame for this pain.

I half walked and half ran towards the exit, smashing through the doors into the lazy December afternoon. I had to get out of here; I had to go somewhere I could think. I made my way to the house, glad that I had thought to bring cash with me for a change. Cabs were expensive but I was desperate to get home and break free of this just for a while.

I paid the driver and ran into the house, taking all the stairs two at a time as I threw some things in a bag.

I was being a coward and I knew it, but I had to get out and breathe. I called Emmett and Jasper as I was packing, canceling the plans I'd made with them so they wouldn't get offended that I didn't show up.

Barreling down the stairs and toward the back door, I almost ran my dad over in my desperation to just go. His eyes went to the bag and then to my face, concern marking the same lines that came together when he smiled.

"Hey kiddo, you okay?"

The sob I was still repressing only left me with the opportunity to nod my response, but I could see it wasn't enough. I needed to say something, I needed to let him know where the hell I was going.

"Just off to see Leah."

"Oh, well, say hello for me. You sure you're okay, though?"

"Yeah, just a long week," I lied, forcing a smile.

He kissed my forehead and nodded. "Drive carefully, and I'm here if you want to talk about whatever it is that's not bothering you."

"Thanks, dad. Love you."

"Love you too. Text me when you get there."

"I will."

I took off out of the house and got into my car, checking the gas. I didn't want to stop in the middle again, especially not after Thanksgiving. With a full tank, I took off toward my bayou home and let the tears drain me of emotion as the radio blared.

It was dark when I pulled up to the community, but I turned off my lights before the beams could penetrate any of the houses and alert them to my presence. I closed the door quietly and pulled my bag over my shoulder as my eyes scanned my old home. Its abandoned feel did nothing to comfort me, but it held within its walls the solace I was seeking. I would go over to Leah's in the morning but for now I needed to be alone. I needed time to think things through and figure out how the hell I got myself into this situation.

I kept my keys in my hand as I walked up to the porch; my fingers trembled as I pulled open the screen door waiting for the scream of the worn hinges. They never came and I would have to remember to thank Sue or Jacob for that.

I unlocked the door and stepped in, taking a deep breath as the familiar sights and smells cradled me in their embrace. I had needed this comfort, this connection with my past, so I could clear my head and push back every emotion I was feeling.

My echoing thought?

I didn't want to lose Edward as a friend.

My feet shuffled forward and carried me into my old room where the bed took almost all of the space. I fell onto it and released the pain, letting it overwhelm me as I finally was able to curl in on myself and let go.

Somewhere between sobs, I must have fallen asleep. My next moment of lucidity was the warm winter morning light that flooded through the blinds and hit my skin as I lay in the still house. Now that the light was touching the bayou, I knew Leah would see the car and come crashing into the house looking for me. I waited silently, feeling all but empty after crying myself to sleep.

I heard Leah's approach, her feet heavy on the porch steps as she bounded up them and unlocked the front door with the key I'd left her. Knowing my best friend so well had given me an advantage in knowing her actions and it oddly made the world seem all the less confusing.

"Bella?" Her voice was cautious and full of curiosity.

"In here," I croaked, groaning at the raspy pain in my throat.

"Hey." Leah danced in and stopped with her eyes wide. "You look like shit."

"Thanks, whore."

"Welcome, bitch." She moved over to the bed and hopped on next to me, her arm circling over my shoulders as my brain pounded against my skull.

"Feeling better?" she asked. To her, my actions spoke louder than words. The fact that I had come here and hadn't let her know meant I needed space and time to think, and she appreciated that. Not only that, I was sure my red rimmed eyes were a dead give away.

"Yeah, just feel like a fucking idiot now."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"I'm just a fucking idiot," I sighed, gripping my temples and rubbing them. "What's new, huh?"

"Bella, I would love to agree with you here, but without all the facts I'm up shit creek minus that pesky paddle."

"Shut up," I laughed, pushing her arm away from me and rolling onto my back. "Edward kissed me."

"And you're crying why? I thought you liked him?" she said, folding her legs under her. "Unless . . . oh was he that bad?"

The giggle seemed to come out of nowhere as I looked up at her face. Her smile was broad as she bounced on my bed, making my body flail.

"Come on already. You know I hate guessing."

"It was stupid; he was reacting to James. It was a spur of the moment thing and I was stupid for letting it happen."

It seemed like a distant memory now, faded and worn. With the new morning I couldn't help feeling like I'd overreacted. I was still so confused, but I was resigned to the way I felt now. I was in love with him and I had brought all of this on myself.

"Ahh he went territorial. That's a sign, Bells."

"Of what?" That he really did hate James and Izzy as much as he said he did? That he cared about me as a friend and didn't want to see me get hurt? That he reacted because of what James said? What James had done in the past? There was a whole boatload that this could be a sign for, but none of it helped me out.

Leah rolled her eyes and pushed some loose strands of hair from my face before grabbing my cheeks. "He likes you, you idiot."

"He's still . . ." I started but was cut off before I could say what I'd been saying since Leah figured that I liked him.

"Are ya sure he's still in love with her. Has he outright said it? How about talking to him about it?"

"I . . ."

"Ran away without talking to him?" Leah asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Do you have a crystal ball or something?" I asked, swatting her hands away from my cheeks. Her finishing my sentences was getting aggravating.

"No, I just know you well."

I nodded in agreement. "I'm in love with him, Lee."

"Only you would fall in love with someone you weren't dating," she sighed, planting her elbows on her knees and cradling her face. "But I can't say I didn't see it coming. You two are good together. So what exactly happened?"

I recounted the story with every detail that was still ingrained in my memory like it was permanently engraved there.

Leah listened tentatively, not saying a word except when she was required to react. Her wide-eyed, eager reception of my nightmare told me that I was beginning to sound like a soap opera from the Deep South. It was ridiculous. I wasn't even sure how I got myself into these situations.

"Ok so I'm pissed that he got all pushy with you when James walked away, but . . . and I am sorry to say this—but you deserve it . . . you are an idiot. The guy laid it all out on the table and you put it down to him reacting to James? If he was reacting to James, he would have let the kiss go, Bells. I swear you cut off your own nose to spite your face sometimes."

"What are you talking about?"

"Bella, I have tried to stay out of your business. I know that you want to figure shit out for yourself, but maybe you should start listening to what people say. Rosalie wasn't bullshitting when she said she knew Edward was into you. He could have never said a word and she would have known."

Could Edward really "want me" as he'd put it? Was I so blatantly looking for an excuse to hide from my own feelings? Even if he was unsure, wasn't it worth the risk? Wasn't he worth the risk?

I knew the answer to that.

Yes.

Yes he was.

"Fuck, I am such an idiot."

"I hate to say I told you so . . ." Leah laughed, her arms wrapping around my shoulders. "Now, why don't you blow me off and go try and fix this?"

Leah was right, I had to do this and it had to be now.

* * *

**A/N: Ok I know you may have been screaming at Bella for running, but seriously she was freaked, and I think she went to the only person who could have made her see exactly how stupid she's being–Leah! At least she's going back though :)  
**

**Edward may have gone a little caveman on her, but I can't say I would complain if he had me trapped against the wall.**

**The chapter is thus far unbeta'd, my awesome beta Annabanana has been run off her feet for the last couple weeks, but as always it may be updated with the cleaner – And I mean cleaner grammar and punctuation – version later.**

**A huge hugs and copious amounts of love to my girls, Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic for holding of the hands and damage control (They knock me out when I'm hyperventilating, it's quite sweet really), I love you guys and so glad I have you as friends.**

**Also a huge, massive amount of love to everyone of you who review. You are all amazing and your compliments always floor me. I think I have the most amazing set of readers on this site, bar none, and I want to thank you for sticking with me, even though I have been dangling Edward in front of you for 32 chapters, you've been very patient and I love you for it.**

**Much Love and Massive Hugs ~ WEEZY ~  
**


	33. Stripped of Fear

_**All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some of the earlier plot points were inspired by V.C. Andrews, and the rest comes from my head . . . I apologize for that ;) Happy Tuesday!**_

* * *

**Stripped Of Fear**

_That's when you need someone  
someone that you can call  
And when all your faith is gone  
Feels like you cant go on  
Let it be me  
**Let It Be Me by Ray LaMontagne**_

* * *

Leah walked me to my car and practically pushed me away after I hugged her. I could see her excitement for me; she seemed to be so much more optimistic than I was about the situation. I couldn't help but feel as though I had messed everything up. I had pushed him away and disregarded his feelings, even if I hadn't been sure about whether they were genuine or not.

I took off toward New Orleans as fast as I could without getting a ticket. It didn't even seem to matter that I hadn't thought any of this through. My mind was so preoccupied; I hadn't formulated the words I knew would be needed once I was in front of him. The only thing that seemed to matter was that I get there before I lost my nerve, before I habitually over-thought the situation.

I was taking a risk and I knew I was, there was still a chance that my original conclusion had been right. That nagging inclination that he was reacting to the situation rather than his emotions. Knowing how I felt about him made the risk worth it though. I knew who I wanted, and the rest I could figure out with time.

The memory of his lips against mine seemed to be the drive behind this spontaneity. The way he'd made me feel, even with the force with which he'd taken it, made me squirm in my seat and my stomach roll as though I were breeding butterflies in it.

The closer I got to the city, the more I began to weave through traffic. I couldn't get there fast enough as far as I was concerned. Anxiety and excitement seemed to fill the car, riding on the bass of the music streaming through the sound system that was currently keeping me focused.

My thumb hammered against the steering wheel at every light I stopped at. I was so close now, and I could feel the nerves beginning to mingle with every other emotion I was feeling, making me a melting pot that was boiling over the surface. The confidence Leah seemed to have instilled in me began failing as I worked through the streets toward his house.

Could I do this?

Could I really march in there and tell him that I was willing to take anything he offered?

As if she knew I was starting to have doubts, my phone chimed from the center console. The text message was almost eerily on the mark. '_Stop freaking out! The worse thing that can happen is you knowing the truth. I love you, good luck!_'

Her words seemed to renew the urgency. If it had been anything else, I would have thought I depended on her entirely too much, but I had needed her and once again she knew me well enough to take the initiative.

It wasn't until I turned the corner and saw his huge house that my heart lodged itself in my throat and refused to move. I would take whatever was thrown at me. Rejection was a bitch but at least I would know, at least I could put all of this needing and desperation behind me and get on with my life.

I pulled in behind his car and turned off the engine, trying to catch my breath and calm myself down. I was on the verge of hyperventilating. I could do this. I could get out of my car and walk up to that door and tell him—okay, I wouldn't tell him that I had fallen in love with him, but I could tell him that I wanted him too and I wanted to see if this could go anywhere.

I got out of the car and headed to the door as I tried to verbalize that without sounding like the lame-ass I felt. I stood at the front door without knocking, my hands running through my hair and gripping the roots.

Knock. All I had to do was knock or press that convenient little button that would ring the bell.

With a sigh of frustration, I turned around and faced the street. My hands were on my hips as I dragged the breath into my chest and held it there. This was neither the time nor the place to chicken out like this. I needed to . . .

"Bella?"

I spun around and looked up at the perfect face of Mrs. Masen. Tucked under her Chanel clad arm was her precious Pomeranian, on the other side her purse. Her smile was warm as she stood just inside the door.

"I'm just heading out, I have to be at the airport in an hour. Edward's up in his room, just head on up."

"Thanks, Mrs. Masen."

Mrs. Masen gave me another smile as a town car pulled up outside of the house. She gathered all of her matching luggage together by the door and squeezed the dog gently.

"You going anywhere nice?" I asked, making idle conversation to stall just for a while longer.

"Paris, for a long weekend. It's our nineteenth wedding anniversary."

"That's lovely. Have fun and I hope to see you when you get back," I said, knowing I was out of conversation. I could have pulled more out of my ass, but I knew it was stretching it.

"Bye, dear."

"Bye," I offered, looking up the ornately curved staircase that would take me to Edward's room. I could do this; I could march up those stairs and tell him that I did want it. Whatever 'it' may be.

I took the stairs one at a time, sucking in breaths and jumping as the door closed and locked behind me, the tiny dog yapping as she tried to get at her owner. At least my rejection would be less embarrassing without an audience.

I made my way down to his room and hesitated at knocking again.

_Just do it_, I thought, lifting my hand and taking another breath. My fist rapped against the small wood barrier twice. It wasn't loud at all but he'd heard it.

"Come in," Edward said, his voice licking at my nerves even more.

I twisted the handle and pushed the door open. The scene in front of me seemed to reinforce my dwindling nerves. He was lying on the bed with one arm behind his head and the other covering his eyes. His lean body was stretched out, legs crossed at the ankles. My eyes lingered on his abs, visible under the thin material of his button down shirt, as he released a loaded breath.

"I won't forget to feed Ruby, mom. You've reminded me three times already." His arm came off of his eyes and he jumped from the bed and was on his feet in a blink.

All of the doubt seemed to bleed out of me as his emerald green eyes flashed with hope. My stomach was in knots but rather than it being nerves, it was now excitement. I took my hand from the door and pushed it closed, taking the last deep breath I needed before stepping deeper into the room.

I moved toward him until I was less than a step away, still trying to form the words I knew I would never regret saying. He beat me to it, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to form the right sentiment.

"Bella, I'm sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't . . ." I couldn't let him finish, something in me pushed me forward. I rolled onto the balls of my feet and pressed my lips against his and my hands gripped his broad shoulders as I steadied myself.

That was all it took. I didn't need words; I didn't need to explain how I felt or what I wanted. His arms circled around my waist and pulled me to him as his tongue brushed along my bottom lip. I fell into him, as I should have the first time, letting go of my fears and greedily taking exactly what I wanted. My hands moved over the expanse of his shoulders, my fingers tangling with the thin hairs at the nape of his neck, holding him to me.

My lips separated on the second sweep of his tongue and I accepted it into my mouth and let it begin the intricate dance with my own. My body trembled as his hands moved up my sides and pulled me into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist as I deepened the kiss.

Much the same as the first time, he was everywhere, consumed everything. He was all I could feel, all I could smell. My body was so alive here in his arms that I didn't need the breath my body fought for. All I needed was him, his touch, his lips, and the feel of his muscles under my hands.

He moved us gently, his body bending at the waist as he lowered us to the bed with precise movements. I felt the softness of the mattress give way under my weight, the feel of it sending sparks up my spine and through my body like a network. The ache I had for him made my hips rock against him with desperate need.

Edward grunted into my mouth and shifted us to the center of the huge bed. My legs came down slowly from their grip around his waist as his mouth moved from my lips over my cheek to the line of my jaw. He continued down the column of my neck. His lips forming silent words against the skin there.

"Is my mom still here?" he breathed, his hands moving up and down my sides, making me shudder with pleasure.

"No, the car pulled up when I got here," I mumbled, as my fingers tangled in his hair. It was soft, falling through my fingers as my nails ran along his scalp. "Why?"

"I don't want her to witness what I'm about to do to you," he growled against my collarbone, making my body subtly arch against him. "And, Bella."

"Mmm?" I whined, all of my attention on the hand that gripped my hip over the denim.

"I'm glad you realized I wasn't lying to you."

My rebuttal was stolen as his lips found mine again. His teeth latched onto my bottom lip and nipped at it gently, making my thighs rub against the outside of his as the ache between them grew to a needing. One of his thighs moved until it was pushed up against me, the strain of it pushing the seam of my jeans into my sex.

In minutes of desperate clinging and hand moving, our bodies shuffled. His fingers found the front of the shirt I was wearing and popped the first button; he pushed his leg against me again as he found the next, making my hips buck so I was rubbing against his thigh with a desperate moan. My breath was coming in stuttered pants as a wave of pleasure weaved its way through me.

"Edward." His name was a breathless whisper on my lips and my hips moved against him again, my fingers rubbing his scalp.

His nose ran along my jaw as his eyes captured mine, willing me to go on.

"There's something I should tell you."

"Is it pertinent to this situation?" he chuckled, his fingers finding another button.

"Yes." I groaned, trying to find the will to say what I had to. I didn't want to ruin the mood like I had with Jasper, but he needed to know what I was giving him.

He popped another button, his fingers running along the hem of the cotton bra I was wearing. My eyes slammed shut and my breath expelled from my body in little stutters as the feeling made my back arch.

"Is that what you were trying to say?" he teased, his eyes meeting mine as I let them flutter open. The green had darkened with his lust. I never thought that something so small could make the butterflies in my stomach swarm like bees to honey.

"N . . . no," I groaned, as his fingers penetrated the space between cotton and skin. God it felt so good. I didn't even want to say anything to him now; I just wanted his hands on my body. My skin felt like there was a hum of static ghosting over the surface. "God, don't stop."

Edward's small smile dropped as a look of pure hunger took over. His tongue ran over his bottom lip as he held my gaze. I knew if I was going to say something it had to be now. I had to give him some kind of choice in this.

"What's going on behind those beautiful brown eyes of yours?" he whispered, his lips pressing against my throat.

"I just wanted you to know that . . ." His tongue running over the skin of my neck made my mind draw a blank. I could have sworn I'd forgotten how to speak.

I felt his lips spread into a smile as he pressed them to the skin behind my ear. "You were saying?"

God, he was making this difficult.

"I've never done, this before," I whispered, my hands falling from his hair to his shoulders, and down over his biceps. "I don't want to stop, I just thought you should know."

His head pulled up, his eyes meeting with mine. "You've never . . .?"

I shook my head, but kept his eyes.

"But you don't want to stop?"

I shook my head again.

"You mean you want me to . . ."

I nodded and smiled as his eyes darkened to a forest green. I wasn't sure what I expected him to do with the information, but it was nothing compared to what actually happened. I could see his eyes growing gentle as he looked down at my body. The reverence in his appraisal was breathtaking.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

I nodded, still unable to find my voice with his warm eyes looking at me with such awe.

"Promise me something," he whispered. He picked up my hand and placed a kiss on the palm. "If you feel like you want to stop or get uncomfortable, you tell me to stop."

"I promise," I smiled, running my other hand down his cheek. He leaned into it and turned to kiss that palm too before he let his lips find mine again.

Now that I had said what I needed to, a blissful silence fell into my own mind. The lack of thoughts gave me a chance to focus on everything I was feeling. One of his warm hands moved to cradle the back of my neck gently, his thumb stroking the hair there as his lips finally started their gradual descent.

My skin pebbled as his free hand went back to the task of unbuttoning my shirt, and I realized I needed to make a move of my own. Thank God he was wearing a button down, I didn't want his hands to leave me for a second longer than they had to.

Being so aware of my own body, I could feel my hands shaking as they found the button at the top. It was a feat of engineering, working around one another, but it was a distraction we both seemed to ignore as we worked to get one another undressed.

Edward pulled his hand from my neck and rolled back onto his knees to look down at me. His shirt, now hanging open, showed off the perfect rise and fall of his abs. Working under it's own volition, my hand reached out and stroked the raw power of his muscles. They twitched gently under my touch as Edward pulled the shirt from his shoulders and tossed it across the room.

I loved having this power over him. I loved having the ability to make him react to me.

My shirt was unbuttoned along my torso, the edges still together, hiding my body from him, but the look in his eyes told me it wouldn't be that way for long. With steady hands, he peeled back the material and let it fall to the sides as though he were unwrapping a present. His long fingers danced over my stomach with care as his lips curled at my body's reaction to his touch.

"You're beautiful."

I sat up slowly, the distance between us was excruciating, and my need to close the gap gave me the confidence I needed to make the move. I let the shirt fall off my body and crumple at the ends of my arms before I moved my hands to his chest. I pushed my lips against his collarbone gently and shivered as his hands moved to my back. They were so warm against the cool air in the room.

Edward's head dropped to my shoulder, his lips pressing against the skin as his hands tackled the clasp on my bra. I shuddered lightly, fighting against the voice in my head that was trying to remind me that Edward had seen Rosalie naked before. It was useless though, my body tightened regardless of my mind's pleads.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked gently as my hands moved to keep the cups covering my chest. "Did you . . . Do you want to stop?"

"No, I . . . this is going to sound stupid, but . . ." My free hand came off his body and covered my eyes as I let my forehead rest against his chest. His warm hand rubbed up and down my bare back in reassuring sweeps as he let me collect my thoughts.

"It's okay. You can tell me anything," he said softly; his lips brushed along my shoulder again, making it hard to think.

"I just . . ." I had to bite the damn bullet and say it. Yes it was ridiculous, but it was on my mind. "It's just my body, it's nothing like Rosalie's. She's so beautiful, I just . . . I don't want you to . . ."

"Are you insane?" he whispered into my ear. "Bella you're amazing. You're different, yes, but it's not a bad thing."

He sat back and looked at me with the same reverence he had before. His finger went under my chin and lifted my face so he could see me. He leaned forward and kissed the skin under my eyes.

"You're eyes are stunning, every emotion you have can be seen there; the flecks of lighter brown mesmerize me. When you're scared, the darker brown overtakes them; when you're surprised, they expand."

I let out a small breath as his lips pressed against mine.

"Your lips are warm and soft, your bottom fuller than the top. After kissing you, it's swollen, a darker shade of pink that makes me hard just knowing I was the one that did that to them."

He pushed me back on the bed gently by pressing his body into mine. His hands moved to the fabric I was still holding against my chest; he moved my hands gently and peeled off the cotton, the straps moved with it as he tossed it across the room.

"Never think you aren't beautiful, Bella," he groaned, leaning forward and brushing the long digits of his right hand over my taut nipple. My body arched under the contact, my breath coming in small spurts. He made me feel beautiful, his words were things I hadn't even known about myself, but he had taken the time to notice. My body surged with the realization that this was real. He really did want me.

When his lips closed around the neglected bud, my hands pushed through his hair and held him to me. The ache at the apex of my thighs sang into life with my need for him again, my stomach trembled. I couldn't believe I was so close to earth shattering bliss with my jeans still on.

"I've wanted you for so long," he hummed against my skin. "You have no idea how much I've thought about this. You're all I think about."

He was saying everything I was feeling. His thoughts were an echo of my own.

Edward's lips left their ministrations on my chest and moved down the valley between my breasts to my stomach. His hands spread wide across the skin, hooking around my body and smoothing down the sides of my back as he continued his descent. His tongue and lips explored the flesh as he moved to the waist of my jeans. He made no move to undo them though; he just kissed along the band as my fingers lost themselves in his disheveled hair.

I had never wanted anything in my life as much as I wanted this to happen. It felt so right. His hands on my skin, his breath spilling in heated spurts over my stomach, his mouth and tongue working on my skin. Even when his fingers traced the denim to the center and started unbuttoning them, there was no fear, no trepidation, just anticipation and need. Not having the guts to tell him how deeply I felt, I needed this to show him. I needed him to know that I was giving all of myself to him.

The teeth of the zipper separating bit through the silence of his room, small gunshots as they released one by one. There were no more words of encouragement spoken; they weren't needed. His actions made me feel beautiful, his domination of the situation letting me know exactly what he needed from me.

My hips lifted from the bed as he peeled the material from my body. My skin was so alive I could feel the coarse material as it moved down my thighs, inch by inch revealing more and more of my body to him. He had wasted no time in his endeavor; he'd taken my underwear with the denim.

I'd always imagined how I would lose my virginity, I dreamed about it, mixing it with my fantasies, but never in my wildest dreams had I thought it would be this gentle. I imagined clothes being thrown and ripped from bodies, the desperation taking over etiquette. It wasn't how this was though. Edward was painstakingly torturing us both by moving slowly, drinking in my body as it slowly became revealed to him.

He pulled off my shoes without attempting to tackle the laces. He moved his body to the tips of my toes and started removing everything, just as slowly as he'd peeled it from my skin.

Being so exposed, I had to fight the urge to cover my body. I had never been quite this naked in front of someone in the light of day, and as comfortable as I was with Edward, I still had those underlying doubts.

"Relax, Bella," Edward whispered, his lips meeting my ankle as he removed the last of my clothes. The moment my eyes met his I let go of the nagging doubt and fell into the forest green pools.

Edward's hands moved up my legs slowly, nudging them apart as his body leaned further forward with the movement. He left sporadic kisses on the flesh of my legs as he worked his way back up. He held my gaze until he was lying on his stomach between my legs, his head by my thighs.

His hands moved forward, up over my hips as his fingers gripped gently. In one quick movement he pulled me closer to him, his hot breath ghosting over my sex, making my back arch until my shoulders were the only things anchoring me to the bed.

Without warning, I felt his tongue run along the length of my folds, his hands sliding under my butt to keep me in place. The sensation of his hot wet tongue along my aching sex was like an electric shock that ran up my spine and exploded in my head. My eyes held white spots as my stomach clenched roughly with pleasure.

"Oh Jesus, Edward," I whined, writhing against the sheets as my hands ran through my hair.

space

He moved upward, his tongue lapping at the nub of flesh, my body reared from the bed again, my hips undulating with his movements. He brought me to the edge as he sucked gently, his teeth finding purchase there.

My body went into tremors as he liberated one of his hands and stroked the damp folds he was neglecting. It seemed unfair that I was brought to this first release alone, but I couldn't stop my body from drowning in the pleasure.

My body fell limp against the bed as I came down, and he pulled away slowly. My eyes, clamped together, fluttered open and caught him as he backed to the edge of the bed. Rejection and fear that I had done something wrong made my eyes widen, but all I got in response was a smirk as Edward's hands moved to the button on his pants.

I moved to sit up, feeling the need to be the one to free him from the binds of his clothes, but he shook his head, his eyes holding mine so I was held captive in their weight. His tongue moved across his bottom lip as his gaze shifted from my eyes to my chest, plummeting lower.

I never realized a look could be so erotic; it burned my skin as he moved quickly. When he was as naked as the day he was born he leaned to his nightstand and pulled out a small foil square. I frowned a little, I had wanted to reciprocate, I'd wanted to strip him down and . . .

"What's the frown all about?" he chuckled, crawling onto the bed on all fours. His hands planted themselves on either side of my head as he leaned in to kiss me. "You're giving me a complex."

"Oh," I laughed, feeling the blush rising to my cheeks. "No that's not . . . I just . . ." My hands moved down between us as I managed to catch his eyes with mine, they lit up as my fingers brushed up his length and then up to his stomach. "Wanted to return the favor."

Edward's smile was beaming, the hunger was a living, breathing thing in his features as he bowed forward to capture my lips again, his tongue pushing its way into my mouth and tackling mine for dominance.

"I'll cash in later," he growled as his lips moved back down my jaw. "Unless you have somewhere to be tonight?"

"The only person who knows where I am is Leah," I breathed. I lifted my head from the pillow and put my lips to his shoulder. "My Dad thinks I'm with her."

"Perfect."

Edward balanced himself on his knees so he could kiss me and sheath himself with the condom at the same time. I could feel the anticipation build in my stomach as my hands moved over his broad shoulders. The moment his hands were free, one hooked around my neck while the other traced the lines of my face.

"You sure about this?"

I nodded, my legs coming up on either side of his body as he moved between my legs.

"It may be—uncomfortable."

"I know," I whispered, my eyes holding his once again. I hoped he would stay like this, where I could see the different shades of green. It would make it so much easier to do this while lost in him. He moved his hands and put them on either side of my head as he tried to read me one last time. His arms were shaking gently under his weight as he took a deep breath.

One of his hands disappeared between us and stroked gently up the folds between my thighs, making me arch again. Our eyes didn't move from the other's as he waited for my body to relax again. I could see the question in every determined line of his face and I nodded, telling him I was ready for this, ready for him.

It was the truth; I had never been more ready for anything in my life. It wasn't because I wanted it out of the way either; it was because it was him, and only him. I realized what a gift Jasper had given me by stopping us that night. This was everything I had been waiting for and he was everything I wanted.

Edward's hips eased forward as his hand guided himself into my wet sex. My body accepted him gracefully, but I knew I still had the worst part to go before it would get any better. Edward's eyes stayed on mine as he pushed forward. My legs spread further apart as his hips brushed my thighs.

He slowed briefly, his lips brushing against mine. His teeth closed around my bottom lip and bit down as he plunged into me harder, my body accepting the full length of him as a spear of pain made my voice cry out. He paused, still filling me completely as his head pulled back to capture my eyes again.

"You okay?"

"You bit my lip," I mewed, my hips rolling slightly as I got used to the feel of him deep inside of me. He was big, and though I had never been in this position before, I could feel him clear as day. Even the brief touching I had done told me that.

Edward's hooded eyes rolled as his hips swung back gently. The slight pain I had felt gave way to the immense pleasure of the friction he created with his movement. His eyes fluttered open with my gasp and I couldn't help but smile at him as my hips lifted from the bed and worked with him like I had been doing it my entire life.

We moved together, pushing and pulling as a sheen of sweat covered our skin. There was no pain now, just a rolling sense of euphoric ecstasy as Edward's movement became quicker and harder. My fingers curled into claws against his skin as I pulled him against me.

Our breath mingled between us as it blew out in pants. My body arched and trembled under his as he found a faster tempo and stuck to it. One of his hands moved from its place on the bed and worked its way down my body, circling my nipples as my fingers fell from his shoulders and gripped the sheets below me.

All of my muscles tensed and curled at the same time, my body shuddering violently as the orgasm moved through my body. As my body reacted, so did Edward. He sat back on his heels and gripped my hips pushing in deeper once, twice, three times, before I felt him throbbing, his face a mask of pure pleasure and satisfaction, the muscles on his neck straining gently against his skin.

We both collapsed in a mess, our breathing hot on the damp heated skin of the other. He kissed me gently as he rolled to his side and tucked me into him, his hot breath washing through the strands of hair on my forehead.

"You okay?"

My lips pressed against his chest as my tired eyes fluttered closed. "Never better."

Edward cleaned himself up quickly and climbed into the bed with me, pulling me into his side as we just talked and touched. He got us food at some point which just turned into another session of love making that became more needy and desperate, although as promised, he cashed in on the reciprocation. Every time we made love was better than the time before, and by the time we both passed out, my body ached in places I wasn't aware they could ache.

space

We talked and watched movies, made love and enjoyed each other's company until it started growing dark outside again, and I knew I had to climb out of the bed and head home, no matter how much I wanted to stay with him.

"My parents are gone till Tuesday morning. I wish you could stay."

"Me too," I giggled, searching for the bra that had been flung somewhere across the room the last time I had attempted to get dressed. "But everyone thinks I'm with Leah, and if I get any later, they'll start calling."

"I know." He shifted under the blankets and moved to get up. Even though I had been naked with him for over thirty-six hours, I still couldn't stop the blush at seeing him naked. "I just can't get enough of you."

"God, I know that feeling." I grinned, letting him envelope me in his arms.

"Good. You coming over after school tomorrow?"

"I would like to," I sighed. Now that the little bubble we had lost ourselves in was about to pop, I couldn't help but feel odd about how things would go down with everyone else in the group. Would Edward want to acknowledge this at school in front of our friends, or were we joining the rest of the we're together but not's sitting at our table?

Edward's lips brushed along my forehead, smoothing out the frown there. "I don't want this weekend to end yet either, Bella. Please, don't worry about school, we'll figure it out when we get there. As far as I'm concerned, you and I are dating, so I guess the sooner it's out in the open the better."

"We're dating?" I grinned, placing a kiss on his throat next to his Adam's apple.

"You bet your ass we are. I am not letting go of you."

We kissed again after his small but significant revelation; his lips brushed against mine with such fervor, I had to back away before I ended up back in bed with him.

"Call me later?"

"I will," I promised, giving him one last peck on the lips as I buttoned up my shirt. I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. "Oh, and Edward?"

"Yeah?" he asked, his smile lopsided and sexy.

"Don't forget to feed Ruby."

"You're lucky I don't have the energy to chase you."

I laughed and pet the dog that was curled up outside of his room.

In all honesty, I think I floated down the stairs and out to the car. My body was numb, but in a good way, and I was so happy that I felt positively buoyant. I started the car and let it warm up as I checked my phone and the dozens of texts from Leah. I texted her back, knowing that she would still be impatient, but at least she would know I was planning on calling her.

I typed in: '_Two thumbs up and I will call you later. Promise everything is fine sorry for worrying you. Call you in an hour?_' and hoped that it was good enough to calm her down till I called her.

My drive home was quick, almost too quick, and didn't give me a chance to really think about anything, but I knew once I was safely in my room, I could let my mind wonder to the best thirty six hours I had ever spent.

Unfortunately, nothing was ever that simple, and whenever I started getting happy, things crashed down around me. As I pulled in the driveway and saw the mint condition 1965 Cherry Red Mustang Convertible, a nice big "What the fuck?" fell from my lips.

I knew that car.

I knew it well, it was my mother's pride and joy, and now I figured out where she got the money for it. Selling my twin.

And now she was here.

Renée was here.

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**A/N: Dramabutton. com . . . Poor kid, she was on a high and came home to that . . . I apologized in advance and I apologize again . . . it's really not my forte!  
**

**Thanks to my beta, Annabanana, who is going to beta this later on this afternoon for me, even though she's crazy busy! She's awesome that way!**

**To Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic . . . Thank you for holding my hands and keeping me sane, and bitch slapping me on occasion when I get out of hand. A girl couldn't ask for better friends than that!**

**Thank you to everyone that reviewed, like I said before your patience when it comes to Bella and Edward has been endless and I love you for it. I just hope it was worth the wait! You guys are all awesome and I love t he lot of you! Thanks again :)  
**

**Much love and huge hugz ~ Weezy ~**


	34. Renée

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer. There were some earlier concepts that were inspired by V.C. Andrews and the rest . . . My interesting mind . . . All songs belong to the people that wrote and performed them ;) HAPPY TUESDAY :)_**

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Renée**

_Ohh, can't anybody see_  
_We've got a war to fight_  
_Never found our way_  
_Regardless of what they say_  
**_Roads by Portishead_**

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Dread rolled through my body like a hurricane. I had been trying to avoid this. I hadn't wanted her to know where I was until at least my next birthday. How had she found me? How did she know where I was? Did she even know I was here?

I parked my car in my regular space and fought the urge to scratch my key down the side of the cherry red Mustang as bile rose in my throat. Now that I had one parent in my life, my need to get to know her was gone, and it was replaced by a crushing hatred that filled the empty longing with an anger that could possibly make steam come from my ears. She was a money-grubbing whore who cared about no one but herself, and I would make damn sure she'd walk out of the door with nothing.

In order to do that though, I needed to calm down.

I pulled out my phone and paced between the two cars as I listened to the ringing on the other end. Finally, it was picked up.

"Why are you calling the house phone?" Leah asked, crunching from whatever she was eating filled my ear and grated on my nerves. Thankfully, my hate and anger was channeled exactly where it needed to be, so there was no taking it out on Leah.

"I need to speak to your mom."

"Why? What happened?" Leah's voice had moved from the playful to the protective.

"Renée decided to show up; I'm staring at the mustang now and I am sorely tempted to run my keys down the side."

"Do it," Leah snorted. "Let me get mom for you."

"Thanks, Lee, I will call you later."

"Sure thing, I still wanna know about the big smile you sent me before the bitch showed up."

I smiled despite myself. There was silence on the other end of the line as Leah got Sue to come and talk to me.

"Bella? Are you sure it's her?"

"A hundred percent, Sue. I'd know this car anywhere," I sighed, rubbing my face in frustration. "How did she find out?"

"I don't know, bebé. I promise you I have not spoken to her since you . . . oh no."

"What?"

"Charlie, he called looking for you and I told him where you were and gave him your number, and your dad's name. Maybe he . . . I forgot to mention your mama."

"It's likely that, or she ran out of money and threw caution to the wind," I sighed. "She must have figured it out, Sue. What do I do? I don't even want to look at her right now."

"Why she can't leave you alone is beyond me. Would you like me to call Carlisle and apologize, sweetheart?"

"Why would you apologize?"

"Well, I feel responsible. I should have been more careful with that information."

I sighed and smiled at the worry in Sue's voice. To me, she had always been the mother. She had always been the person to take care of me. Mamére, always the grandparent that let me get away with too much. Renée was nobody; she was an insignificant blip, a surrogate mother who just happened to carry me in her womb for nine months. I didn't know her, and after discovering the truth, I sure as well didn't want to know her.

Sue was not to blame for this. Renée's callousness and manipulative nature were sure to have been the reasoning behind this discovery. If nothing else, I had to reassure Sue.

"It's not your fault. You know how she is, Sue. She would have found out one way or another. Please, don't blame yourself."

"Well, maybe I should have Leah drive me down there so you have some help getting her out of there."

I smiled again. The mama bear in Sue always brought that out in me.

"I got this. I'll call you later and let you know how it went."

"Okay, bebé . . ." I could hear Leah saying something in the background. Her answer was full of the smile I knew she was wearing. "That's enough, Leah. Bella will not be keying any cars, at least I hope she won't."

"No, the beast is safe for now," I laughed. "Love you, Sue, I'll call you back."

"Talk to you soon. I love you too, Bella. Leah said you better call her too."

"I will, I promise. Bye."

"Bye, sweetheart."

I hung up the phone and threw it back in my purse. It was now or never. I either marched in there and dealt with this or . . . there was no alternative. The rock and the hard place had me neatly wedged between them. I took a deep breath and made my way to the back door.

The house was quiet when I stepped inside, but in all truth I was in the kitchen and it wasn't as though sound carried through here. If Renée was here, I knew she'd be in the living room trying to weasel her way into the mix.

Thankfully I was wearing tennis shoes so there was no clip of my heels as I made my way through the house toward the formal living room. The closer I got, the more I could hear the subdued voices. My mother's was quiet and reserved as she answered clipped questions from my dad. I had never heard his voice in this tone before, and it was easy to feel his discomfort from being in her presence.

"So, why are you here, Renée?" he asked, his voice dropping as though they'd been dancing around the subject.

"I'm here to see my daughter, Carlisle. Actually, both of them. You think you're the only one that can go against that contract?"

"What . . ." I stepped forward before the situation escalated. I could hear the incline in their tones and knew it was a breath away from turning into something nasty. I also didn't want my dad to play his hand to early. "Bella. I didn't hear you come in."

I pointed at my feet. "Sneakers."

He grinned at me and I felt the compulsion to rub my relationship with him in my mother's face. I made my way across the room and embraced him as he rose from his chair.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered quietly in his ear as I squeezed him gently. His easing my worry came in the form of a stroke down my hair and a kiss to the temple. The minute our eyes met he nodded, as if to say 'I got this'.

"Bella, sweetheart," Renée sang, her arms opening wide.

I didn't move to her; I didn't want to embrace her. The mere thought of her being here in this house with me made me want to empty the dinner Edward had made me. There was nothing in me that pushed the urge to be nice to her anymore. Mamére had been the only reason for a while, but even then, I couldn't deny a small hope that had burned inside of me, hoping she would want to stay or take me with her. Now, I just wanted her out. Gone. She was nothing.

"Why are you here, mother?"

"Who do you think you're talking to, Bella? Where's this insolence coming from?"

I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms over my chest in anger. "You really thought it would all be sunshine and roses? I haven't seen you in years, and you couldn't even drag your ass back for Mamére's funeral; and that's only the half of it. You have never cared about me or where I am or even what I'm doing, so why are you here now?"

"I missed you."

"Bullshit."

"Bella, language," Dad said from behind me, his hands landing on my shoulder.

"Sorry." I sucked in a deep breath and blew all the air from my lungs, making my cheeks bubble with the effort. I was trying to keep my anger in check, and the more she spoke, the more difficult it became. I looked over at her and noticed for the first time she was dressed to impress. She looked beautiful, but then she always did, which was why it was easy to get her own way with men.

"You're going to show a man you barely know more respect than you show me, Bella?"

"Contrary to your belief, _mother_," I spat, using the term as though it were an insult. "I actually know dad better than I've ever known you. Do you realize that if I actually wanted to waste five minutes and think about the time I have spent with you, I could probably count the hours on my two hands? The _hours_. You only ever came back when you wanted money."

"Baby, I'm so sorry you . . ."

"No!" I shouted, stamping my foot like a child. "You don't get to talk to me like you care."

Dad pulled me into his chest, his hand stroking my arm as he tried to calm me down. I felt like a child, a bratty child who was pouting because she wasn't getting her own way. I was glad that dad hadn't tried to keep me civil because I don't think I would have been able to handle it.

"Hey, whose Mustang is outside in my parking spot?" Izzy called from the kitchen. I could hear her footsteps coming through the house as her signature heels clipped against the polished hardwood. It was followed by Mike's whiny voice as he tried to get her to move upstairs with him.

All of us in the living room were frozen. I wasn't sure about dad, but I'd been hoping to get rid of Renée before Izzy discovered she was here. Even though things between Izzy and me were shaky at best, she didn't need another selfish woman in her life who would only disappoint her, and Renée would inevitably disappoint.

"Oh, sorry, didn't know you had company," Izzy said, looking between dad and me and Renée on the other side of the room. Her eyes narrowed as she realized something was amiss. "What the hell's going on?"

"Michael, I think perhaps you should head home for the evening," dad said, his eyes narrowing at him. He'd heard every word I had, but I had a feeling this would fall to the wayside, considering the big pink elephant in the room.

"Yes, Dr. Cullen. Call me later, Iz."

Izzy ignored his request and his eye roll as he headed toward the door.

"Would someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?"

"You're just as beautiful as I imagined," Renée said, stepping toward her as though she were about to reach out.

An odd sense of protectiveness came over me as she took another step toward my twin. It was a bizarre feeling, considering our own relationship, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want her to suffer at the hands of another mother figure that would only let her down. Renée was poison—she would suck more of the life out of Izzy, and I didn't think I could stand to see that happen.

I moved to make a step forward, but dad's hands held me in place. When I looked up, I could see how cautious his eyes were.

It was then that I realized he wasn't as out of the loop as everyone had thought. He knew. He knew that Izzy had to get to know Renée, and even though I was certain he felt the same need to protect her from our mother, he also knew she had to learn that she wasn't the person she seemed to be. She wasn't the person that Izzy had always dreamed about having in her life. As hard as this was to swallow, I had to agree with it. She had hated me because of this; she had assumed that the woman in front of her was the answer to all her questions.

She had to see Renée make the mistakes again. The same mistakes she'd countlessly made with me.

The only problem with this was that Renée would be around longer than I wanted her to be.

"Thanks I guess," Izzy smiled. "Who are you?"

"You don't now who I am?" Renée laughed, finally stepping in front of her and twisting the edges of Izzy hair in her fingers. "Maybe you would see the resemblance if your hair was the same color as your sister's?"

"You're . . .?"

"Yes, sweetheart, I'm your mom."

I wanted to gag. It took everything in me to stop the swirl of my stomach. She would never be a mom; she was too selfish for that. Moms were attentive and loving, they nurtured and looked after their children. Renée was nothing like that. She was selfish and arrogant.

Watching the two of them talk and smile like it was the most natural thing in the world didn't do anything for my anger. I was certain that to an outsider, or someone that didn't know the relationship I'd had with Renée, my actions looked as though they were bordering on jealousy. To the people who knew me, they would know it was disgust at the charade Renée was putting up to her other daughter. Her little piece of real estate that she had sold.

I sat with dad on the love seat, watching the two catch up, talking about everything Renée had missed not ever knowing her. Mother dearest dominated the conversation and went on and on about how much she'd thought about her over the years and that she was glad she was finally able to catch up on Elizabeth and her life. Not that Izzy had gotten a word in edgewise.

They continued on like that for an hour until dad got twitchy beside me. It wasn't until I looked at him that I realized why. His phone was out in his lap and there was a text from Tanya. She was apparently on her way home.

Thankfully up to this point, there had be no sighting of Peter or Emmett, but that wasn't unusual. Peter was either working for his dad or out with Jess, and Emmett was with Rosalie. They wouldn't be back for a while. Maybe it was a good thing that they wouldn't see the mess that was about to unfold when Tanya walked through the door.

Tanya wasn't one to sit down and take it. She would use this as ammunition against dad; he seemed to know it as much as I did. I felt the need to do something, but I just wasn't sure what. How was I supposed to get her out of here before the proverbial shit hit the fan?

"Well it's been interesting," I sighed, getting up from my seat. "But I need to get ready for school tomorrow. Goodbye, Renée."

"No, you can't go yet," Izzy said, turning in the seat she'd taken next to our birth mother. "Please stay a while. Daddy, she could stay in the pool house; please, I just want a little more time with her."

"Iz, sweetheart," dad started, but she cut him off.

"Please, do this for me, please. I never knew she existed till Bella showed up, and now that she wants to get to know me, you're pushing her away. That's not fair." Her genuine tears streaked down her face in huge drops, the small tracks cutting through the foundation she was wearing, leaving pink streaks in their wake. It was heart breaking. It didn't matter that she was caught up in a delusion, that she would only end up getting hurt, there was no way in hell dad could say no to her. I knew I never could, and quite frankly, we weren't close at all.

"That's fine, Izzy."

Izzy tore out of her seat and flung herself into our dad's arms just as the tap of Tanya's heels made their way down the hall from the kitchen. I had wanted to be gone, I hadn't wanted to witness this standoff, but it was too late. It was going down now and I was in the middle of it all.

"Carlisle, you want to explain what the hell is going on, and who the hell is sitting on my antique Louis XVI Canapé?" At least now I knew where Izzy got her name-dropping talents. She could have just said couch, but no, it had to be the antique name for the thing.

"Tanya, this is Renée Higginbotham, she's the girls' mother."

Renée stood and held out a hand, a snide smile on her lips that was just going to make this so much worse for dad. "Actually, it's Renée Cooper."

"You got married again?" I asked in a small voice.

"Oh, did I not mention it?"

I glared at her across the room and actually hoped Tanya had the power to throw her out on her ass. At least then Izzy's heartbreak wouldn't be on our shoulders.

"Tanya Cullen. I'm going for a bath, I expect that our guest will be gone by the time I get back."

"Excuse me?" Renée piped up, her head squaring on her shoulders. It was like watching two lioness' preparing to fight over the last part of a Gazelle.

"Being known for my articulation, I'm certain you heard me the first time, Mrs. Cooper. This is our home, and you are a guest in it; we have our lives to get back to. Thank you for your whimsical little visit, but you are not welcome here."

"Bitch, who the hell do you think you are?" Renée spat, her hands going to her hips. Her stance was one I knew well, she was anchoring herself for a fight. I'd seen her square off like this against mamére one too many times. She was here for money and she wouldn't be leaving until she got it.

"Carlisle," Tanya snapped, her eyes narrowing on him. "Are you going to let her talk to me like that?"

"Enough, both of you," Carlisle shouted, his cheeks pink from an anger I had never seen before. "Girls, go to your rooms, now."

I wasn't going to argue. I made my way to the stairs, barely hearing Izzy's protests as I took the stairs two at a time. I made it to the second floor before all hell broke loose, then I locked myself in my room and ran to the bathroom, hoping a shower would help calm me down.

I must have been in my room for an hour when there was a knock at the door. I slid down the set of stairs and opened it a crack, smiling when Emmett waved awkwardly.

I opened the door all the way and let him inside, closing it behind him and following him up the stairs.

"How long have you been home?" I asked, falling into the sofa and pulling my knees to my chest.

"I think you were headed up the stairs when I came through the kitchen."

"Shit, you stayed down there for that mess?"

"I didn't really have a choice, fucking chaos broke loose. Izzy spouted off to mom, mom went for Izzy, and your . . . Renée went for mom. Carlisle and I had to separate them. Izzy was going off on a tangent. It's a huge fucking mess. Mom left, she said she wasn't coming back till that woman was gone. I don't give a shit where she goes, I'm staying. Your dad said it was cool."

"Of course it is, you're family, Em."

He gave me a weak smile.

"I'm sorry Renée fucked everything up," I sighed. "It's her nature."

"It was a longtime coming and you shouldn't be making apologies for her. It's clear you don't like her Bella and I respect that. It's not your fault she's here, and it's not your fault Izzy has taken to her."

"She's gonna hurt her though," I sighed, my chin resting on my knees. "I know it because I lived it."

"It's Izzy's mistake to make," Emmett said, shaking his head. He looked tired.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," he grinned, stretching out his arms over his head. "Just didn't get much sleep."

I barked out a laugh and shook my head. I wished I could admit to the same thing. I knew Emmett wouldn't blink if he knew Edward and I were together, but I figured I was best to hold the cards close to my chest until Edward and I figured out how we were going to play them.

"Right, now that things have calmed down a little, I'm going to lay down. Pete's here—he's really agitated for some reason, so be forewarned."

"Yeah, no problem there," I laughed. "I stay out of his way frequently."

"You're smart."

"Thanks."

He grinned and jogged down the stairs, leaving me to my own devices. I threw myself on the bed and took a deep, soothing breath. It felt as though I hadn't stopped since last weekend. So much had happened in such a short amount of time I was ready to hit the lights, roll into the comforter and just sleep. Unfortunately I owed a phone call to a few people first.

I woke up the next morning feeling delightfully achy. Even though the nightmare of Renée's appearance still stood out like gallows in my mind, I still couldn't stop the happiness from the rest of the weekend that I had spent with Edward. I knew why it was fresh in my mind—I was going to see him in school and my heart was practically singing about it.

Last night he'd told me I could spend all the time I liked at his house while Renée was here, and I was grateful for the invite. I really didn't want to be around her.

After I'd spoken with Edward, I had called Leah and spoken to Sue for a while, relaying the disaster that had followed my mother here. She seemed less surprised than I was about her behavior and promised to call Renée if we thought it was necessary.

Then I was passed off to Leah.

My early night turned into a late one as she made me tell her everything. She was happy that Edward and I had managed to work everything out and, even though I blushed a shade of red that resembled a tomato, I told her about the rest of the time we'd spent together. After which, she over-shared details of her and Jacob.

I crawled out of bed and hit the shower, dragging on my uniform before I hit the stairs and made my way into the kitchen to make myself breakfast. Unfortunately, my mother got there before me and had cooked everyone breakfast, including mamére's famous biscuits.

Even though I didn't particularly like her, it felt wrong not to have Tanya barking down her phone at someone while drinking coffee. It felt wrong that Emmett was eating when he was normally the one cooking up the high calorie breakfasts for football training. I actually missed Izzy's silent pouting while she picked berries from her Special K. Even Peter was sitting at the table eating the food, but rather than the sarcastic smile, there was just a dark frown and glazed eyes.

Dad was the only one who even resembled 'normal'. He was reading the paper and held out the local section to me as I passed on my way to the coffee pot.

"I made you a banana smoothie," Renée sang, moving to hand me a glass.

Everyone in the kitchen looked at her like she'd grown three heads and she was the only one that didn't know why.

"What?"

"Bananas make Bella sick," Emmett mumbled, pushing his plate away.

And the mother of the year award goes to . . .

"How's she supposed to know that?" Izzy snapped, reaching for the glass.

I poured my coffee and sat next to Emmett, instead of my usual seat next to dad, because I couldn't stand to be that close to Renée. Peter mumbled something from his seat across from me and took the last mouthful of his food before getting up.

"Bye."

"See ya, Pete," I smiled, but there was no flash of that sarcastic grin that he used to creep me out, just an aggravated nod as he grabbed his bag and left.

The room emptied out quickly and I downed my coffee and burned my throat in an attempt to not be left alone with Renée in the kitchen. Thankfully, Izzy seemed to be hanging around and shooting off questions so I was able to slip out without a big scene.

To my surprise, Edward was waiting for me when I pulled up at school, he had my door open and was pulling me into his arms before I even had the car in park. Everything I had felt when I was alone with him stirred up in my stomach like a hornet's nest and had me sinking into his embrace as I threw the car into park and stepped into him.

"I missed you," he hummed, his face burying into my neck as his arms tightened around my waist. "I wish you would have taken up the offer and come back last night."

"Me too, breakfast was a hoot this morning."

"That bad?" he asked, pulling away and quirking an eyebrow.

"Think bad and multiply it by ohhhh, I dunno, twenty?"

Edward pulled me into his chest and rubbed my back gently. "Sorry this shit happened like that. Grab your bag and I'll walk you to class. You can tell me all about it."

I pulled out my bag and keys and locked the car. Edward picked up my hand and guided me toward the school, listening tentatively as I described the past and why her kindness wasn't welcome for me. He seemed to be waiting at the end of every class, making Jasper's eyes narrow in confusion. He didn't say a word, but I was sure the smile on my face when I saw Edward waiting was enough of an answer.

Edward didn't have swim practice anymore now that they had won finals, so he escorted me to the cafeteria and didn't even flinch when he saw Emmett and Rosalie steal a quick kiss. When we sat down, the table was silent, all eyes lingering on us.

"What?" Edward asked, stealing a fry from Rosalie's plate.

Rosalie quirked an eyebrow at me, and I couldn't help the heat that flooded my cheeks. God, I was so easy to read.

"Girl time. Bathroom. Now." Rosalie grinned. She eyed Alice, Angela and me and stood up, giving Emmett a wink.

Edward rolled his eyes and gave me a smile. "I'll pick you up some food, seeing as Rosalie has a sudden bladder problem she obviously needs help with."

"Whatever, Edward," Rosalie laughed. "Like you don't know we're going to talk about you. All of you."

"What did I do?" Jasper asked, his eyebrow quirking.

Rosalie ignored him and the others and dragged Alice, Angela and me along behind her. This was going to be interesting. And as always, Rosalie didn't disappoint.

She waited patiently as the only other person in the bathroom washed her hands and took her time about it. I was sure she wanted to hang around and listen to what was about to be said, but Rosalie quirked an eyebrow and smiled sweetly, which only seemed to make the girl speed up and exit as quickly as she could.

"Spill," Rose said the moment the door closed again.

My mouth opened and closed like a catfish before I managed to form anything coherent. "Rose, I . . . it's weird."

"With Edward?"

"No," I laughed, scrubbing my face with my hands. "Talking to you about it."

"You and Edward?" Angela said with a smile. Her hand shaking my shoulder with such enthusiasm that my teeth almost knocked together.

"What's weird about it? I can start with what Emmet and I did yesterday."

"Your enthusiasm speaks for itself," Alice teased, sliding up onto the counter next to the sinks. "I get what Bella means though, it would be weird to talk about Jasper in that respect in front of her."

"You mean you two . . ."

Alice nodded shyly. Her eyes on her chucks.

Oddly, I threw my arms around her shoulders and gave her a huge hug. I really was happy for her.

"Case in point," Rosalie sang. "See how easy that was."

"What do you want to know?" I conceded, leaning against the counter next to Alice.

"Everything."

I couldn't tell them everything, I didn't want to—so much of it was still like a dream to me. I did admit that he was my first though, and Rosalie seemed genuinely happy for me. We headed back to the table with me blushing scarlet as Rosalie slid into the seat next to Emmett and cuddled into him. Alice slid in next to Jasper and gave him a grin, and I sat next to Edward, who pulled my seat closer to him so he could rest his arm on the back of it. Even Angela and Ben seemed cozy.

Everything seemed right. It was nice to not have that tense undertone like it had been when everyone was hiding whom they were with and their attraction to one another. If things at home would just get back to normal, I knew I could finally start living again, but Renée's presence was like a black cloud on a sunny day. It loomed on the horizon, threatening to open up at any moment, tainting everything.

As planned, I followed Edward home after school, and it didn't take us long to fall into the pattern we'd been in the day before. I didn't end up making it home until well after midnight, and thankfully avoided any confrontation with Renée or anyone else.

Things fell into a routine quickly; every morning was the same thing, and every evening I would spend as much time as I could with Edward. It was only two and a half weeks until Christmas, and I was hoping that Renée was getting the point and would move on.

I called my dad most days driving over to Edward's and we spoke about how to deal with the situation, but Izzy was growing more and more attached to our estranged mother and it was getting hard to watch. Wednesday night I got home from Edward's and bumped into dad who was slurring and smelled of the expensive scotch I knew he had in his study. I knew he wasn't going to tell me that Tanya had his balls in a vice, but it was obvious. The longer the days droned on with Renée's presence, the more I would come home to find the lights on in the study.

A week and a half later it was evident things weren't going to get any better. By Saturday night I'd had enough, I wanted to know what the hell she was getting out of this. I marched toward the pool house and hammered on the door, hoping I would find her alone.

"Bella, won't you come in?"

I wanted to scream that it wasn't her place to invite me into the home I was living in—that she was a guest in—but I bit my tongue and marched into the place.

"Why are you here?"

"Watch your tone, young lady."

"Oh don't try and parent me now, mother. The time for that is long gone. You're seventeen years too late; Sue and mamére did a better job than you ever could anyway," I spat, pacing across the floor. "Why? Why did you do it?"

"Jesus Christ, Bella, what are you talking about? It's always about you isn't it, my spoiled little brat?"

I spun on my heel and faced her, the blood in my veins boiling with anger as it took everything in me not to do something I would regret later.

"Why did you sell her? Why did you keep me? Why did you even bother having us? Make me understand, because no matter how I look at it, nothing makes sense."

"When you're older, you'll see I did what I had to so I could survive. I never wanted kids, Bella, not you or your sister. It's so easy for you to judge now you're sitting pretty in a bankroll. I did what I had to do for me."

"You selfish bitch."

"Takes one to know one, sweetheart. Why did you come here? Don't tell me it was to get to know your father—he's a wet fucking blanket, that one. He hasn't got a backbone. He couldn't stand up to his mother and he won't stand up to that white trash wife of his. You think he loves you, sweetheart? You're just another trophy, a possession he can own and act like he has control over."

"I hate you. For your information, dad is amazing, but you never gave him a chance, did you? You see what you want to see, because you only go by what you would do in any situation. You want to know the only reason you're here? It's not to get money because I already told him to not give you a dime. It's because that girl in there, the girl you sold, thinks you're something you're not, and we're all counting the seconds until she sees the real you."

"Oh don't worry, he'll give me money. I will sweet talk your sister until his little Housewife Barbie tells him to pay me off. People with money know how to solve problems. And your father is weak enough to do it too. He should be giving money to look after you, and for the fucking house Sue tricked me into giving you."

It was worse than I thought. The woman had no soul. She was pure evil that was here to fuck with Izzy's mind to get more spending money.

"How did you get to be like this? Why would you do that to your daughter? I don't care about you being absent all those years, in some way I knew it was the right thing. I was miserable when you were around; didn't you ever wonder why I spent so much time at Sue's while you were home?"

"No," she said, laughing, pulling a cigarette from her purse and lighting it up. "Quite frankly, I was glad to be rid of you. You were always the source of discord between mama and me. I hated you for that."

"She hated you for that," I choked. "She hated you till the day she died. You were worthless and such a disappointment."

"Don't try to manipulate someone who's much better at it than you, Bella. You think your words cut me? You're not even scratching the surface. I will get what I want, and I won't leave a second before. You hate me so much? Stay the fuck away. But I'm enjoying Izzy's company. She's my little cash cow."

"You're sick," I cried and turned around. "I wish you'd just disappear."

"Aw, funny that, I have been thinking the same about you for almost eighteen years."

I turned and left the pool house, but I didn't go home. I got in my car and drove to Edward's, calling his cell as I pulled up in front of his house.

"Bella?"

The moment I heard his voice I couldn't say a thing, the tears and sobs seemed to choke off any words I was trying to form.

"Baby? Where are you? I'm coming to get you."

"Out . . . side," I choked, my embarrassment mingling with my despair.

"I'll meet you at the door."

I stumbled out of the car and locked it before making my way up to the house. I could see his silhouette dancing in the doorway, but I couldn't even feel the cold. I was numb.

My arms wrapped around his waist and clung to him as everything I felt poured out of me. He pulled me into the foyer of his home and let my tears run until there was nothing left to spill, then he took my hand and guided me to his room.

Pulling me into bed, he never said a word; he just wrapped himself around me and brushed his long fingers through my hair until I passed out.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, evil isn't a big enough word to describe the person ****Renée is. She's worse than Bella imagined because she didn't want to get rejected by her mother. It's amazing how evil people can really be when they get a taste of money. I know it seems harsh, but ****Renée has spent her whole life thinking about herself. **

**Thank you to my Beta, Annabanana, for being as amazing as always. She really does make my writing look better, she's also awesome!**

**To Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic, Thank you for pre-reading and holding my hand. If it wasn't for the four of you, I would be a mess. You slap me into shape and push me back in the game! I love you guys!**

**A HUGE THANK YOU to everyone that reviews. You guys are always so awesome and with a lot of you the reviews and replies are like conversations and I love getting to know you! You make me laugh, keep me smile and give e the confidence to keep posting week after week. You're also pretty badass with your predictions :) Love you guys!**

**Much love and HUMUNGOUS hugs ~Weezy~**


	35. Revolving Door

_**All things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer, some earlier plot inspirations come from V.C. Andrews, and the lyrics belong to the artists and their labels . . . The rest comes from my twisted frontal lobe ;) HAPPY TUESDAY :P**_

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**Revolving Door**

_Fragile earth where cracks in the temperature _  
_Keep it cool to give, you understand_  
_Cause I just can't find the strength _  
_to pull you up and keep you taut_  
**_Canvas by Imogen Heap_**

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My eyes fluttered open as the sun filtered through the window and warmed my skin. The sound of steady breathing filled my ears, while strands of my hair moved to the same rhythm. Memories of finding myself outside of Edward's house last night streamed into my mind and only made me snuggle in closer to his chest.

He'd become a symbol of safety to me.

Before I knew how I felt about Edward, something like last night's revelations would have sent me running to Leah, but without even blinking, I had shown up here. I had fallen into Edward's arms and let my heart bleed. Unafraid of judgment or scaring him away. He'd simply held me all night, letting me cry as his fingers worked through my hair to ease my pain.

If I hadn't been sure before, I was now. I loved Edward Masen. I loved him, but there was no way I could say it out loud after being with him for a week. The waterworks may not have terrified him into retreat, but a declaration of love would be guaranteed to.

I was fully dressed in his arms, my jeans twisted slightly, tugging on my bladder, making moving a necessity. I had wanted to stay cuddled up to him but if I didn't relieve myself soon I was gonna pay for it.

I shuffled backwards out of his embrace, trying not to disturb him. I laid his arm on the bed where I had been lying and his eyes snapped open. He blinked twice before the smile curved his lips.

"Hey you."

"Hey," I whispered, my fingers brushing the copper strands from his forehead. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Are you leaving?" he asked, grabbing my wrist and planting a kiss on my palm.

"No, not yet, I just need to use the bathroom."

Edward chuckled and released my hand. "Hurry back."

I nodded and disappeared into the bathroom.

When I came back into the room I peeled off my jeans and crawled into bed beside him again, snuggling into his open arms. Crying myself to sleep had given me one hell of a headache.

"You want to talk about last night?" Edward asked, pressing his lips to my forehead, his fingers tangling in my hair again as he pulled me closer.

"I had it out with Renée. I knew she didn't want me, but . . . God, she said some hateful things."

"Like what?"

I rehashed everything said between Renée and me the night before, recounting every sordid detail. It brought tears to my eyes again and I had to physically fight not to cry again. Tears were the last thing I wanted. Edward had dealt with enough of them last night; he didn't need an instant replay.

The more I explained, the more it sank in just how much Renée had hated me from the beginning. Her words were all like small knives, and reliving them seemed to give them a sharper edge, breaking the surface of the hardened skin I'd tried to develop when it came to her.

"She said that?"

"Those exact words. I never thought that she'd hated me; I'd always assumed I'd just been this inconvenience. Turns out I was wrong and entirely too forgiving, considering."

"Have you spoken to your dad about this?"

I stayed silent, unsure if I could say what I wanted to, considering the facts. Dad was a well-respected person in this society and I didn't want to tarnish his name because he was hurting. I knew his drinking had gotten worse, but I'd let it slide, I'd turned a blind eye. It was easier that way. His daughter was throwing herself at our mother as though she was the answer to every problem she'd ever had, and he knew that Renée would end up messing with her head. He'd spoken to her for days after her arrival, but Izzy wasn't budging.

I also knew Tanya had been putting pressure on him. I had come home early last weekend and heard him playing the voicemail over and over in his study. Her voice was cold and harsh as she barked her orders.

"_Get rid of her Carlisle or I will be talking to a lawyer. The longer she's there, the worse it looks. Do you think anyone cares she's staying in the Pool house? I don't know what's going on after dark when our children are in bed._"

Tanya was smarter than I gave her credit for. She left nothing on the voicemail that made it sound as though it's what she wanted, and she spoke nothing of taking what she wanted most. I knew it was another of her manipulations because she had called us collectively her children.

"Bella?"

"I can't . . . he's . . ." I took a deep breath and pulled away from him so I could see his eyes. "He's not handling this so well."

"He's drinking again?"

"Again?" I asked, my hands brushing the hair from my eyes. "You mean it's happened before?"

Edward looked over my head, avoiding my eyes. My hands found his cheeks and tilted his head until his eyes had to meet mine. Whatever he was thinking, whatever he was trying not to say hung behind his eyes like shadows.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

I pulled out of his arms and sat up, pulling my knees to my chest. His eyes followed my movements before closing in frustration. Without a word, he stretched his arms around my body and pulled me closer to him, my legs moved to tuck under me as his head came to rest on my thigh, his lips brushing the bare skin there.

"Don't be upset."

"I'm not, it's just . . . Well, I mean if anyone should be able to talk to me frankly it should be you."

"I know, I just don't want to upset you more, and I really don't think it's my place to bring it up."

"I wish people would stop treating me like I'm made of glass," I sighed, lifting my hands to run them through his hair. "Am I that flaky?"

"No," Edward laughed, his body shifting so he was on his stomach, his arms circled me as he got to his knees. "Babe, you're not flaky. I just heard it through someone else, so it's second hand knowledge."

"Jasper?"

He nodded once but said no more. I think I could piece together the rest on my own. I wouldn't have thought dad was a huge drinker, he was very level headed and respectable.

"Elizabeth?"

Edward nodded in the affirmative again. It made sense. I guess she was able to put pressure on him too. It seemed odd that he would let himself get walked over as much as he had. I hated that it made him look weak. I knew him so much better than that. When we spent time together, he was assertive and commanding. When we bumped into his friends from work, they showed nothing but respect for him and he had a way of controlling the situation.

"I don't know all the details, just that he went on a bit of a binge and was forced to take two weeks vacation to clean up."

"God. My family is so fucked up."

Edward laughed and fell sideways onto the bed again, his arms held out for me to crawl into. I didn't resist, it was exactly where I wanted to be. "Isn't every family fucked in some way?"

"I guess," I sighed, pressing my lips to the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

"I have to say, I liked waking up to you this morning."

I couldn't stop the smile forming on my lips. "Me too."

"You should stay more often."

"I see that going down well," I laughed, even though it was the most tempting offer I'd ever received.

His body was a warm cocoon around me as he held me to him. Thankfully it was Saturday, I didn't have anywhere to be and I was tempted to hide out in his room all weekend. It wasn't as though I was going to be missed.

His lips found mine easily and I started to wish I had brushed my teeth while I was in the bathroom. Not that he seemed to mind. His tongue ran along my bottom lip and my body reacted as it always did to him. His body rolled over mine, his forearms taking the weight of his body as he deepened the kiss between us.

Wearing only my underwear, I could feel him getting hard against me, the thin cotton of his pajama bottoms the only other layer between us as he rocked his hips against me. My fingers bunched the material of his shirt in my hands and I tugged it up over his body until he had no choice but to help me pull it off him.

Our kiss became deeper, both of us moving from gently simmering to boiling over in a matter of seconds. His hands on my body, tweaking and tugging, made my need for him almost desperate. My breath picked up as I tugged at the cotton around his waist, hoping he knew what I needed.

We moved quickly, our hands working the other's clothes until there was nothing but skin between us. His body came against mine again as soon as he'd tugged his drawer open and sheathed himself. There was no playing this time; both of us seemed as desperate as the other to have that connection.

He pushed into me, hot and heavy, making my back arch off the bed. My chest pushed against his as his lips moved down my neck, nibbling and sucking. His hips swung back and pushed forward, my legs moving so he could go deeper.

He found his rhythm easily and I followed, moving with him as his lips closed around my nipple, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh. My teeth impaled my bottom lip to stop from calling out as he pushed hard and buried himself deeper within me.

I wanted to call out his name, scream my love for him, but I didn't know who was in the house and I knew I couldn't tell him; I couldn't tell him I loved him yet.

My body raced for the edge and sprung off, sending me into a euphoric oblivion. My body trembled and shook, my muscles tightening as my fingers dug into the damp flesh of his back. His body tensed as he went rigid, my name slipping through his lips, a whisper dancing across my skin as he dropped a kiss behind it.

"Yeah, could definitely get used to this," he laughed quietly, moving up my body so he could kiss both of my cheeks and lips before he left for the bathroom.

"Yes please." I grinned lazily, stretching out as I watched him leave.

I laid in the bed with a satisfied grin on my face, even when the shower turned on. I was actually considering going in there with him, but when I made a move to get off the bed, my phone started ringing. It was my default tone so I picked it up and looked at the number.

Still none the wiser, I answered.

"Bella, where the hell are you?" Izzy's shrill tone was borderline hysterical.

"Iz? Where are you calling from?"

"Does it fucking matter? You have to come home, now."

I opened my mouth to argue, but I could hear her sniffling and hammering on something as she hiccupped into the phone.

"Iz, What's going on?"

"She's leaving; she won't even let me in to talk to her. Please, Bella, Please come and talk to her."

"She won't listen to me." I wasn't going to finish that with, 'I want her to go anyway'. Especially after last night. That's when it hit me. Izzy was screaming at a door and begging, her voice full of unbroken sobs and a hollow thud followed her pleads. "Izzy? . . . Elizabeth."

"What."

"What happened? What happened before she went to pack?"

"Fucking Tanya happened. I hate her. I fucking hate her."

"I'll be there as fast as I can."

She didn't even say goodbye, she hung up with the hollow thumping and shouting to a woman who had a rock where her heart should be. As cold as it was, I was just waiting for this to happen. Knowing Tanya had been there, I could only assume this sudden change of heart on Renée's side meant she'd been paid off. Something I had begged dad not to do.

I searched the room for my clothes and pulled them on, having to rework my bra three times because I wasn't paying attention and twisted the straps. I was just pulling my sweater over my head when Edward reappeared from the bathroom.

"You're leaving?"

"The shit hit the fan," I sighed, groaning at myself as I realized the sweater was on backwards. "Izzy called; she's hysterical."

"This was what you have been waiting to happen, isn't it?"

"It was inevitable. Tanya showed up and I think dad paid Renee off. I have to confront him or her . . . shit, I don't even know . . . I just need . . ."

"Want me to come?"

I stopped and looked up at him, his eyes were full of sincerity as he watched me, hopping around with one heel on.

"You would do that?"

"Of course I would." He smiled gently and picked up the shoe I was looking for. He handed it to me before wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in for a kiss.

"I can't do that to you," I sighed, kissing him again. "I think it's something I need to do on my own. Maybe I could come back later, if you don't have anything planned."

"Sure, or I could come to you. You have that big ol' bed in your room."

"I'll call you." I smiled.

I pulled my shoe on and ran at the door, tugging it open. I took one last look at him before jogging down the stairs and to my car, which I had left on their front curb. I just hoped I wouldn't be too late. Renée may think she had got away with it again, but this would be the last time. If she showed up again, I would expose her for what she was and what she did. There was no contract, not really, and I had the documents to prove it.

I pulled into my normal spot, happy to see the cherry red car still where it had been for over a week now. She was my first stop, and I just hoped I could get in there without Izzy trying to stick to me and nag Renée to stay. I hated that she was hurting and I was so angry with everyone, including myself for letting this go on as long as it had. Izzy was too invested in the witch to see who she was and what she was doing.

Renée had fed her a false sense of hope and it was cruel of us to let her do it.

The moment I got out, I heard Izzy's breaking voice, hoarse and raspy, full of sobs, as she begged Renée to let her inside.

"Izzy."

"Bella," she shouted my name with such desperation I felt horrible. "You have to make her stay."

"I can't do that, Iz. She won't listen. She has what she came for."

"Shut up. Just shut up," she screamed, her fists hammering her thighs before coming up to tug on the wild strands of hair on her head. She gripped them and pulled roughly. "She said the same thing but she came for me. She told me last week, she told me she came for me and you're jealous. Fucking Tanya is making her leave and she's pushing me away again. It's not fair, this week's been perfect."

It was all a lie, an illusion, a fabricated truth Renée had spun to keep her here until she got what she wanted. Izzy was a by-product, trash she could throw away now she had no use for her. It made me physically sick to think about it.

"Please," Izzy begged, the fingers tangled in her hair now falling slowly down her face. Her hands covered her mouth and nose, her wet lashes brushing her cheeks, leaving damp spots in their wake. "Please, Bella, I know I haven't been the nicest person in the world but please do this for me, please."

I nodded, unable to say it out loud because I knew my voice would betray me. I stepped past her to the door, and when she moved to follow, I turned and shook my head. I had to do this alone. It was not going to be pretty.

"Renée?" I asked, knocking on the door. "You in there?"

It took everything in me to keep my voice level. The hatred I felt was like acid in the back of my throat.

"Bella?"

"Yes."

The door cracked open and I stepped inside. I had never wanted to scratch someone's eyes out before, but the thought of doing it now to this vile woman in front of me sent a wild flush of gratification through my body.

Why had she let me in? Why had she ignored Izzy and let me walk in here?

"You were saying, Bella?" she smirked, pushing her closes into the bag without thought. She was apparently in a hurry.

I plucked a shirt from her bag and held it up.

"You're going to steal her clothes too?"

"Always with the assumptions. Ask her, see what she says."

"You're a sad excuse for a human being."

Renée laughed and stood up to her full height, her sneer obvious. "Careful kiddo, push me too far and you'll run away crying again."

"You really are a soulless bitch."

Renée rolled her eyes and continued packing, grabbing things from the counter and ignoring my presence. She finally returned to the bag and shoved more of her belongings, as well as the things Izzy had bought her, in the bag.

"You see, I always get what I want. It was only a matter of time. You didn't matter when it came down to it, Bella. They ignored you to get what they wanted. Not that much different from the way I operate is it? You say they're so much better, but look at them: sitting in their expensive mansion, with their expensive cars and expensive clothes, pushing money at problems to make them go away."

I laughed once, my arms folding over my chest as hers gripped her hips.

"You really don't get it, do you?"

"What?" She smirked. "Are you really going to school me in ethics, daughter?"

"That would be a waste of time. A spoon has more of an ethical conscience than you do. I always thought Tanya was this crazy bitch. I hated her," I laughed in a short snappy sound. "But she's like Mary-fucking-Poppins compared to you."

"And you're still not getting it either, Isabella. I got what I wanted."

"Elizabeth is hurting out there, Renée. You're just going to ignore that?"

The woman cackled like one of the Halloween witches. The sound was fitting for her. She may have been beautiful on the outside, but she was a gruesome cruel monster inside, darkness eating away at anything mamére had seen there.

"I also want my house back. Sue had no right . . ."

"Sue had every right in the world. She's been bringing me up all these years while you went off whoring yourself out."

"Watch your mouth."

"Truth hurt?" I asked, stepping forward. "You're a sad excuse for a whore that has to use her children as tools to embezzle money from a man who made a mistake and slept with you, not knowing what a tramp you were."

Renée raised her hand, but I stayed steadfast as she struck; the sound of her palm coming up against the skin of my cheek echoed through the small house like a gunshot. My hand lifted to my cheek as the sting settled into the flesh like molasses into coffee. My lips curled, making the snapping ache pulse.

"Thank you. It's the best gift you ever gave me," I spat. "Get your shit and get the fuck out. You come here again, I will call the cops. Not only will I have a nice picture to show them, but I also have an illegal contract to which you will be liable to return the money for the illegal transaction. You call dad for money, you show up here, you even try and contact Izzy, I will get a lawyer and make sure you're taken care of."

"You don't have the . . ."

"Contract? Yes, I do." I nodded, dropping my hand. "You really should be more mindful of important documents like that."

"You're bluffing."

"You have ten minutes."

I threw the door open and left it that way for Izzy to say her goodbyes. Marching into the house, I made my way to the study and pushed it open without knocking. My face was aching with the cool air against it but I ignored the sensation as I paced in front of the desk where dad's head was laid on the rich, highly polished wood of his desk. He didn't even hear me come in.

I kicked the desk hard and watched him spring into a sitting position.

"You paid her," I said. A statement rather than an accusation.

"Bella, I . . ."

"No. I can't believe that you would do this. I told you she would get her way and come back for more."

"She promised that . . . What happened to your face?"

"Dad, you have to stop this. We need you. I need you to think clearly."

"Did she . . . Did she . . . _hit_ you?"

"Does it matter? It's the only ammunition I have against her. Why did you give her the money? Izzy's heart is breaking over this. We knew it was going to happen, but it shouldn't have gone this far. You've been gone these last few days and we need you."

I felt the tears sliding down my cheeks, warm against the tenderness of the slap.

"Bella, I'm sorry, I know I . . ."

"It's too late for that, Dad. It's in the past, but we can't keep doing this."

"I'll fix this."

I nodded and stormed out through the kitchen and into the courtyard by the pool house, my legs carrying me faster as Izzy's weeping form rocked where she sat on the cold ground, her knees under her chin. I crouched beside her and ran my fingers through her tangled hair.

"She's gone."

"I know," I choked, taking a deep breath.

Izzy, for the first time in our lives, took comfort in me, her body turning as her arms closed around my neck. She clung to me as her tears fused with her flushed cheeks. Her whimpers broke my heart as I let my arms cradle her body against mine and let her bleed emotionally for the first time since I'd met her.

I couldn't sleep, not now. Not after the nightmare that had unfolded not even six hours ago. I was in Izzy's room and she had finally cried herself to sleep an hour ago, her head on my stomach and her arms around my waist as she refused to let me go.

Every time I had attempted to shuffle out from under her, her arms tightened and her eyes fluttered open. Her voice begging me not to leave her yet.

I watched as the darkness of the evening threatened behind her blinds, dancing through the strings and pirouetting across the floor. Theshadows inched across the room with every minute that ticked by.

It wasn't that I didn't want to be here with her. I knew how much she was hurting, I knew the pain she must be feeling. It made my own heart bleed for her. The loss of Renée was nothing to me; it had become something I expected when I saw her.

I couldn't deny the cutting of her words, but the more they played in my head, the less I was surprised by them. It was typical Renée to skip town a week before Christmas and crush the daughter she'd never known. If it were possible, I hated her even more than I had before. She was nothing to me. She never would be again.

"Bella?" Izzy croaked, her voice hoarse and raspy from the hours of crying.

"I'm here," I whispered, brushing her hair off her face. It felt odd to be like this with her. This was something I would do with Leah, but never Izzy. Yet, I didn't want to make her hurt more by moving and letting our old rivalry take precedence over the betrayal of her own mother.

"Why? Why did she do that? Why even come here if she didn't care?"

"Izzy . . ." I didn't know what to say to that. There was the truth–that Renée loved for convenience, left the moment things got too personal or she actually got what she'd come for. Or I could lie and spare her feelings.

"She's everything you said she was . . . you know, before."

"I'm sorry."

"How did you live with that? I mean Elizabeth and Tanya are horrible but they're not . . . they couldn't ever be that_ cruel_."

I doubted that. I had realized that pain came from the power you gave to people. If you trusted them enough to give them your love. They had the power to break you, to turn it and use it against you. Izzy had never given them that power. They had simply been an inconvenience. Was this the real reason she had pushed me away?

Before I could answer, her breathing went deep into a rhythmic pattern. I waited for fifteen minutes before sliding out of the bed and leaving her room. I wouldn't be locking my door tonight. For the first time in our lives, my sister needed me and I wouldn't let her down. I wouldn't be another disappointment in a long line of people who she couldn't trust. I may never be able to trust her fully, but I would try to keep hers as long as she would let me.

I took a shower and climbed into bed with my phone, realizing I had neglected to call Leah and tell her everything that had gone down since yesterday. I knew she wouldn't be happy, and when Sue found out . . . it was probably best Renée had left. Sue was as protective of me as she was her own children and what had been said and done would probably push her to get into the car and head down here.

I picked up the phone and hit send when I pulled up her contact info.

"Hey bitch, long time no speak," Leah laughed into the phone, her voice easy and familiar.

"Sorry, shit hit the fan."

"What? When? Why didn't you call me?"

I laughed into the phone before a sigh escaped my lips. I remembered I also needed to call Edward.

"Well, it started last night, I was really upset and went to Edward's and stayed there for the night. Then there was the conclusion this morning."

"Start from the beginning and don't you dare leave anything out. I don't want to have to drive down there and shake it out of you."

I told her everything, from dad's drinking right up to the point I got back to my room.

"I want to hurt her. I swear to God, if she shows up here, I will give that troll a piece of my mind."

"She's not worth it. I'm going to take a picture of the bruise on my cheek and keep it as ammunition. I don't want her coming back here again."

"I can't believe she said that to you. Mom's gonna freak when she gets back from the Black's. She's been waiting for Renée to mess up."

"So was I," I admitted, taking in another sigh. The silence on the line was deafening for a while but I knew Leah was thinking through the details. Even she seemed to understand Izzy's pain when I had explained that to her. Giving her my theories and having her agree with them made it all too real. No one deserved what Izzy had gone through. We may not have always gotten along, and some of that may come back in the future, but I didn't think I could ever hate her with as much vehemence as I had before.

"Wait a minute," Leah laughed down the line. I could hear her shuffling in her seat.

"What?"

"You left out the sex didn't you?" Leah laughed, her tone dripping with her playful accusation. "There's no way in hell he would have comforted you and it turned out to be nothing. You're too gooey about him to not."

"Shut up, Lee."

"You didn't even deny it, you slut," she snorted.

"He's my boyfriend, does it matter?"

"No, but I like making you squirm. You're still all quiet and contemplative when it comes to sex."

"You're such a bitch," I chortled, pulling my legs up under me. "You used to be the same way."

"No, I never was."

"Liar," I sang, now enjoying her discomfort.

"Whatever, oh hang on," her voice faded as she held the phone away from her mouth. "Hey mom, you got a minute?"

I couldn't hear Sue's response, so I waited patiently for Leah's attention.

"Hey, Mom's home. I'm going to talk to her and tell her everything. I'll call you back later, kay?"

"Kay, love you, whore."

"Love you back, bitch."

I lay back in bed and looked at my phone. The picture I had taken for his contact information was on the screen and I couldn't help smiling at him. I hated not being able to follow through on my offer to spend time with him today, but I hadn't expected anything that had happened. I hated Renée for swooping in and ruining everything again. She never changed, she was always the same.

"Bella?"

I looked up to see Izzy standing at the top of the stairs looking a little embarrassed. Her eyes were rimmed with red, the gray cradled by the pink of her bloodshot eyes. "I woke up and you were gone. I just . . . I don't . . . Can we talk?"

I patted my bed and gave her a sympathetic smile. This was going to be a weird couple of days.

* * *

**A/N: I know that Carlisle isn't the pillar of strength he usually is for his family and I really did hate doing this to him, because I don't think canon Carlisle would let any of this slide, but I need him to be a lost cause for a little while.**

**As for Izzy, well we can only hope that this whole thing has taught her a lesson in humility, but lets face it, nothings ever that simple!**

**Thank you to my beta as always, she's been super busy so this hasn't been beta'd yet, but I will replace it as soon as it has been, so please excuse the bad grammar and punctuation for now :) If this has already been traded, ignore that last statement lol ;)**

**Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors, hev99 and newmoonaholic, you guys are amazing and I love you for keeping me sane and slapping me back into shape when I freak out! You're all wonderful friends and I Love ya!**

**A huge thank you to every one of you that review. You are all so amazing and every week you surprise me with your guess and reactions to the characters and situations. I love you all and I still maintain I have the best readers on this entire site! Thanks again and I truly love you guys!**

**Much love and huge hugs! ~Weezy~  
**


	36. Tis The Season

_**All things Twilight belong to the Awesome Stephenie Meyer, a few minor plot points were inspired by V.C. Andrews, the song and lyrics belong to the artist and respective record label, and my fingers belong to moi! Happy Tuesday! I apologize about the lack of blog post . . . should be up later today :) **_

* * *

**Tis The Season**

_ Careful what you wish for_  
_ Careful what you say_  
_ I've lowered all my armor_  
_ Risking the pain again_  
_**Broken Biscuit by Sia**_

_**

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**_

"Fuck you, Peter."

Emmett's voice rang around the house, echoing from the walls and rebounding. His voice was so full of venom, if it hadn't been Emmett, I would have been scared.

The two of them had been at it for days, and even Izzy steered clear of them. Peter was still acting unusual, even for him. He was agitated all of the time and picked fights with anyone who would listen. Izzy had been one of his main targets, as had Emmett.

At first, I had assumed it was because his mom had left when the devil had come to visit, but it had been three days since she'd left and Tanya had come home. Everything but Peter had returned to normal. The only person he hadn't tried to start a fight with was me. Instead, his creepiness had grown and his obvious flirting had become uncomfortable to the point that I avoided him when he was home. Christmas vacation had started and we were all stuck in the house with one another. I was beginning to wonder how we would even celebrate if this continued.

I had invited Edward to celebrate Christmas with us because his parents were leaving for Aspen on the twenty third. They were celebrating Christmas early, he'd invited me to join them and I had accepted. Anything to get out of the house.

Unfortunately, I was due to be there in fifteen minutes and I was trapped in my room while the shouting match continued on the second floor landing.

"What's the matter, bro? Truth too hard to deal with?"

"Get out of my face, Pete. I will not hesitate to beat you senseless. Do I make myself clear?"

"I'd like to see you try," Peter said, antagonizing Emmett even further. I couldn't let this go on and I couldn't be late. Mr. and Mrs. Masen were expecting me.

I headed down the stairs and pulled my door open to see Peter and Emmett nose to nose inches from my door. I moved out and pulled it closed behind me. Stepping between them, I put my hands on Emmett's chest and pushed him back toward his room.

"Bella," he warned, his eyes, hard and cold, were still on his brother.

"Just go and cool off for a while, Em. He's not worth it."

"Ouch, my bleeding heart," Peter said calmly, his hands gripping my hips from behind.

Emmett stepped forward and shoved him backwards, making me stumble on my heels. "Don't fucking touch her."

"Jealous?" Peter sneered, his tone acidic. "I always thought you two were a little too close."

Pot, Kettle anyone?

"You sick bastard," Emmett grunted, his chest slamming against my body and making me stumble backwards.

"You can't stand the fact that I want her. What does that say about you?" Peter laughed, making my skin crawl with disgust.

"Shut up, Peter," I snapped, falling into the trap right alongside everyone else he'd baited these past couple weeks.

"There's no point, Bella, he's gone and lost his damn mind."

Izzy's voice came from the top of the stairs and my eyes found her quickly; I had to do a double take. Chestnut hair fell from her shoulders, framing her face. Even the layers that mingled with the bangs were identical to mine. The resemblance was eerie.

"Your hair."

"You like?" she asked, her voice muted. "I mean I needed a change and I figured what's better than this. And I knew it would suit me, because it suits you."

"I . . ." Didn't know what to say.

"You'll never be like her," Peter laughed, his tone mocking. "Bella's sweet and innocent and sexy as hell. You're a cold-hearted whore."

"Peter," I growled in warning. Izzy was still suffering, and I didn't want her having to deal with his shit. "Leave her alone, and stop talking about me like that. It's creepy."

My phone chirped in my purse, alerting me to the fact that I was going to be late. I hated this animosity; right now it was Peter stirring up all the trouble, but I was quickly discovering that peace and serenity would never go hand in hand in this household. There was too much going on around here at all times.

Since starting to drink, dad had started arguing with Tanya before locking himself in the study, which I soon learned had a sofa bed in there. Tanya would start fights with Izzy, at the moment the topic was Renée, but even when she hadn't been around, it was always _something._

"I have to go," I sighed, pulling my phone out and texting Edward back. I hated leaving Emmett in the middle of all this, but I didn't have time to get into it. Not with Peter, or Izzy.

"Where are you going?" Izzy asked, wide-eyed and eager.

"Edward's. They're doing Christmas today because his parents are going skiing."

I danced out from between Emmett and Peter whose eyes were still locked on Izzy.

"That's boring, why don't we go out and do something. We can totally play off the twin thing now."

"I can't, I'm sorry I promised and his parents are expecting me."

"Fine," she droned, elongating the syllable.

I threw a glance over my shoulder at Emmett who caught my eyes and shrugged with amusement. This was entirely too bizarre, but I couldn't deal with it all right now; I really didn't want to be rude.

I took off in my car and pulled up with only a minute to spare before I was officially late. Edward was already at the door waiting.

"Hey, you okay? You look flustered."

"Long story," I sighed, falling into his arms and finally relaxing.

"I got time," he chuckled, a sigh falling from his lips as his cheek came to rest on top of my head.

"Well, Peter and Emmett got into this huge argument which would have come to blows if I hadn't stepped in, then Izzy showed up . . . she dyed her hair."

"What's new there?" he snorted, his head raising.

"It's the same color as mine."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's bizarre."

"Kinda creepy too; do you think maybe she's getting too attached? She's been trying to spend time with you for days."

"Yeah, I'm not exactly sure about that. I mean, I know she's going through a hard time . . . and I feel horrible for saying it, but I just . . ."

"You don't trust her."

"No, I don't," I said, hanging my head so my forehead was against his chest. I hated admitting it out loud because in all honesty, since Renée had left, she'd been nothing but pleasant to me. I just wasn't sure how long it was going to last and, as I'd learned the last time we attempted to get close, whether her motives were entirely pure.

"That's smart, baby. She hasn't exactly been trustworthy in the past. I'd just hate to see you get hurt again." He ran his hands down through my hair, his palms spreading heat down my back.

"I know, but I hate seeing her hurting like this. She should never have been allowed to get that close to Renée. Even with everything she's done in the past to hurt me, she didn't deserve that."

"No, she didn't, but you can't keep saving her. Especially if you don't trust her."

"Edward? Is that Bella?" Mrs. Masen said from inside the house.

Edward groaned quietly, grinned and pulled me inside, his hand capturing mine as he stepped out of my embrace. "Yes, mom. It's Bella."

"Well, don't be rude and leave her standing outside. You're letting the cool air in."

"We're inside."

Mrs. Masen appeared in the doorway that led to the kitchen, her gracious smile making her eyes look just like Edward's. "Bella, you look lovely. I'm so glad you decided to join us. We're going to do presents after we eat."

I was suddenly glad I'd placed their gifts in the car earlier in the day, otherwise I would have forgotten them amidst the drama that was the Cullen household.

I followed Edward deeper into the house and relaxed into him. I already felt more comfortable here than in my own home, and that was with his parents here. It shouldn't have been that way, but it was. The Masen's were warm and welcoming, and it was something I craved.

The afternoon passed by slowly, but it was enjoyable. Edward's parents were happy people, who were still in love after all this time, and there was so much laughter and playfulness that I found myself missing Sue and the rest of my family up by the bayou. I had been planning on going up there after Christmas and taking Edward with me. I was still planning to go, but I found myself wishing I would be there Christmas morning, like I had for the last sixteen years of my life.

Everything at home was too much to handle. It was a nightmare with a pretty red bow on it. It was a smoke screen to the rest of the world that everything was alright; when in truth it was so far from alright, we could have drowned in the lies.

Being here with Edward and his family was a reminder of how messed up everything was, but their acceptance of me was humbling. From the moment Edward and I had become friends, his mom had done nothing but make me comfortable in her home. There was only one awkward moment when I'd first met his dad. He hadn't realized Edward and Rosalie had broken up.

We opened our gifts curled up by the fire. Edward was sitting in one of the high backed chairs by the fireplace and I was between his legs watching as his parents opened the gifts I'd bought them as the flames crackled on the logs beside us. I had attempted to coordinate my gifts with Edward's—I'd bought Mrs. Masen a charm bracelet. The only charm I'd purchased with it was a small Pomeranian with tiny rubies in the collar. For Mr. Masen, I'd bought a pair of cuff-links with his initials engraved in them. Edward had helped me decide something for them because in all honesty I was clueless.

Both of Edward's presents were well received and his Dad looked surprisingly impressed with Edward's choice for his mom, as well as his own gift. It was more fun than I could have ever believed was possible with a boyfriend's family.

By the time we'd finished up it was eleven at night. I was hours away from my curfew, but I knew the Masen's would feel the need to entertain until I left; I didn't want to keep them up later than necessary when they had an early flight the next morning.

I said my goodbye's before Edward walked me to the door, his warm hand wrapped around mine sending tingles through my body. I was starting to wish I could stay.

"I hate that you're leaving," he whispered as his lips found my neck. I couldn't help the shudder that worked it's way through my body and exploded in my stomach with need. The more time we spent together the more I seemed to realize how important he was to me. How much I had missed out on.

"I know," I whispered in response. my fingers grabbed at the shirt he was wearing, brushing his abs, making him shudder much the same way I had.

"Stay."

God, I wanted to stay. I would have too, but I didn't want to make his parents uncomfortable.

His lips found mine as his hands weaved into the hair at the back of my neck. I leaned into the kiss, indulging in the man I loved . . . and I did love him. I knew that more than I ever had. Standing here with him now, on the verge of leaving him for one night, I felt as though I was leaving part of myself behind.

"Call me when you get home?" he asked as he pulled away. My eyes were still closed as I nodded and I heard his gentle chuckle while his thumbs ran down the edge of my jaw.

I kissed him again before I backed out of the door, my fingers the last thing to release my connection to him.

~oOo~

The days following our early Christmas were spent alone at Edward's house. If I was being honest we seldom left his room, but it was nice to escape from my house. With dad so preoccupied in his study, and Tanya doing god knows what under the pretense of being with the ladies, it gave me more freedom. I wasn't missed when I didn't come home at night. In fact, the one time I had come home, I had turned around and left again. Izzy and Mike, and Peter and Jessica seemed to be competing for the loudest screamer award. Even Emmett was absent.

Christmas Eve, I finally made the decision I had been putting off for the last three days. I had just woken up to find Edward grinning at me. His green eyes shining in the diffused light of the winter sun.

"I'm going to spend Christmas with Sue, Leah and the others. Will you still come?" I asked, snuggling into his side, our legs tangled together. We often woke up this way. It was as though sleeping in the bed together still wasn't close enough for us. "We'll be staying in mamére's house, so we'll be alone."

"I don't care where we stay, as long as I'm with you," he mumbled, his arms tightening around me so our bodies were even closer. I could feel my lips curling into the smile my entire body wore.

"I need to go home and tell dad, as well as pack some things. Do you want to pack your things now and we can swing by on our way out?"

"Do I have to move?"

I giggled and shuffled in his arms. He groaned as I rubbed against him accidentally sending a wave of lust through my body. As intemperate as we had been since his parents had left, it still didn't seem like enough. When it came to Edward Masen, I was insatiable.

Edward's hands moved from my hip, ghosting up my side until his thumb brushed the edge of my breast, making me shiver again. He knew how to get a reaction from me, just like I knew how to get a reaction from him.

Unfortunately, if we really were going to my home in New Iberia, we couldn't continue doing what we were doing because we would never get out of here.

"Edward," I sighed, the attempt at taking control sounding more like I was urging him on.

"Hmm?"

"We have to get going now."

"Why? A few extra hours won't hurt."

I laughed and buried my face in his neck as he moved his thigh to create friction between my legs. I groaned and tried to pull away, fighting the temptation to give in to him.

"Where are you going?"

"To New Iberia." I smirked, wiggling out of his grip as the muscles in his thigh tensed again. "Now, are you going like that? Or are you going to take a shower first?"

Edward groaned as I slid off the bed, but before I could take a step, his arms were constricted around my waist tightly, pulling me back onto the soft mattress with a yelp.

"I just . . ." he kissed my lips heavily. "Need a little encouragement." He kissed me again, his hands moving down my body, between the valley of my breasts and over my stomach.

"Edward. We have the house to ourselves up there," I mewed, my resistance failing completely.

"I promise, I'll be quick."

My mind went hazy with lust the moment his long fingers descended below my hips.

Then, like a sign, Leah's ringtone filled the room.

"Saved by the bell," he groaned, falling onto his back and leaving me to snort breathlessly. I rolled from the bed onto numb legs and tingling feet, my body still with the echo of electricity running through my veins. I rifled through my things to find my phone.

The screen told me I had missed five calls, two from Emmett, three from Leah.

Oops.

"Where the hell have you been?" Leah demanded, the moment I answered.

"Right here. Why? What's wrong?"

"Emmett's been looking for you. He wants to come home with you for Christmas, you'd know that if you answered your damn phone, you nympho."

"Well, we were sleeping. I just got up."

"Yeah, yeah. Sure you did," she laughed, the tone playfully accusing.

I wasn't going to explain that I was telling the truth and that she'd just interrupted the very thing she was alluding to. If Edward hadn't been watching me the way he was now, I would have, but his eyes were like fire, scorching my skin as I stood in the middle of the room with only a phone on my person.

"So, are you coming up?"

"We are."

"Ah, we get Edward too?"

"Uh huh."

"The more the merrier; mom's making enough food to feed the entire Parrish."

I smiled. This was what I missed. It was all so familiar to me. The cooking, the company, the happiness.

This was what had tipped the scales for me. I didn't want to be with a family that would be screaming over the dinner table, I didn't want to have to coax my dad from his study and try and sober him up with food. I would leave the presents for everyone but Emmett and Edward under the beautiful silver and green tree, but that was the most I was willing to participate in the Cullen Christmas.

"Let us get dressed, and we'll head to the house, pick up Emmett and then head your way."

"Rosalie too, apparently her parents had to go somewhere for work. She was invited too, but she wanted to stay home."

"She didn't say anything about it to me."

"Yeah, it was a last minute thing—she found out this morning."

"Ok, well let me call them and get everything set up then we'll be on our way."

"Love you, slut."

"Love you, whore."

I hung up and grinned at Edward who was chuckling on the bed, his eyes still watching my every movement. I made my way back to him and tugged on his arm. "Emmett and Rosalie are coming with us."

I would have felt weird about the situation, but since Rosalie and I had talked about everything, any awkwardness about who used to be paired with who seemed to have gone out the window. Now we just hung out, as though it had always been this way.

"I guess I should get up then?"

"Maybe." I grinned, scrolling through my phone to find Rosalie's number.

After two short phone calls, we decided to meet at my house and take off from there. My eyes were on Edward the whole time I was on the phone. It wasn't until I was saying goodbye to Emmett that he finally rolled off the bed.

His lean body stretched as he reached above him, working out the kinks in his body from being curled around me most of the night. I drank him in, my body moving toward him of it's own volition. We were like opposite polarities of a magnet, unable to stay apart when we were within a foot of one another.

"Wanna conserve water?" I asked, my arms finally wrapping around his waist.

Edward's eyes widened with his smile, the green vibrant and alive as he stepped back, gripped my hand and pulled me toward the bathroom.

We were on the road to my house forty-five minutes later, my hair was up in a damp twist on top of my head. We'd spent so long in the shower, drying it would have taken even longer and given us away, even though we were sure neither of us were kidding anyone.

I pulled into the driveway and sighed. "I should probably apologize in advance."

"Why? What did you do?" Edward chuckled, leaning over the console to brush some loose strands of hair behind my ear. I nodded toward the house and took a deeper breath. "You can't help what your family says and does, babe."

"You may be scarred for life."

Edward laughed and opened his door. "Doubtful, but I'll keep my delicate sensibilities in mind and let you know if it gets to be too much."

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Tanya's car wasn't in it's spot, so I could only guess what was going on upstairs.

Dad wasn't lucid enough to realize what was going on, which only seemed to make everything so much more sordid. It wasn't as though the walls of his study were impervious to the sounds, just the man behind them that was too lost to pay attention.

We made our way into the house, where Rosalie and Emmett were sitting at the kitchen table, cuddled into one another, and reading a tabloid that had been left there. The pair of them looked up as we entered and smiled.

"Took you long enough."

I blushed, there was no stopping it. My body was such a traitor.

Rosalie giggled, burying her head in Emmett's shoulder, only fueling my flushed cheeks even further. I felt as though I was scarlet. My cheeks were burning. Even with Emmett's slight look between the two of us.

Finally, her snort was what pushed me to retaliate.

"Laugh it up, Hale," I said, a smile building. "You're hair's a little matted at the back there."

Rosalie sat up, her hand running through her perfect hair, finding nothing. Her lips curled as she looked up at me.

"Well played, Bella."

"I try." I curtsied and eyed the stairs. "How bad is it?"

"Well," Rosalie answered, drawing out the L's. "Team Jesus is outdoing team God. But team God is working at getting close to "dogs can only hear the frequency" loud."

"Excellent," I groaned, turning to look at Edward. "You don't have to be subjected to that. I'll be right back."

"Oh, I wouldn't miss this for the world."

I rolled my eyes but headed toward the stairs anyway.

"No competing, guys," Rosalie snorted. "We promised Leah we would hustle you out of here as soon as you arrived."

"You're no fun, Rose," Edward mumbled, slapping my ass as he followed me up the back stairs. I heard a faint mumble from Emmett as we ascended but pretended not to hear it.

The cacophony of groans and praises filled the air before we'd even reached the top. Edward's laugh was muffled as he tried to contain it, but it was useless. He was barking out his amusement before we'd even reached the landing.

I beelined toward my room, hoping to avoid the worst of the sounds lingering in the air. Taking two stairs at a time, I hit the top in seconds flat.

I packed my bag as quickly as I could, dancing around Edward's arms as he tried to pull me onto the bed with him. There was a muffled hum of appreciation in the room below us, drawing Edward's attention from trying to distract me.

"Is this a regular occurrence?"

"It's getting to be that way," I sighed, the annoyance lacing the words with my distaste. My mind moved to the one person who should be sober enough to stop all of this nonsense.

Dad.

I was sure I would find him in his study, slumped over his desk with a bottle of whatever liquor he had left next to him. Tanya seemed to find his current condition hilarious, only losing her temper when she realized that he couldn't accompany her to the many Christmas parties she wanted to attend while in the state he was in.

If it had been bad before Renée, this was Armageddon for the Cullen household. It was falling apart, and not even I had the patience to try anymore. I wanted to get to know dad better, but this was a side of him I hadn't known existed and it was terrifying.

Even so, I knew I had to go to him and explain exactly where I was going to be, even if he didn't remember that I'd told him when he finally had a rational moment.

"Will you take my bag to the kitchen, please. I have to try and talk to my dad before we go."

Edward's eyes went sympathetic as unintentional sadness filled my voice. As much as we'd talked over the past few weeks, he knew how much this new side of my dad was hurting me. it wasn't just the hurt either, the disappointment seemed to make the ache in my heart burn like a white hot flame. No one else—other than Emmett—seemed to care, and he was as scarce as I was these days.

"Of course," Edward replied, pulling the bag from my hands and kissing me gently. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."

"Thank you."

He kissed my forehead one last time before leading the way out of the bedroom. I took the front stairs while he took the back. I missed him the moment he was gone. Like a love sick puppy, I was becoming too dependent on his company. I was beginning to need him and that scared and excited me.

My stomach lurched as I reached the study door. I could smell the stale tang of scotch hanging around the door, which only seemed to magnify how bad the situation had become. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, somehow knowing I wouldn't get an answer.

I waited, my heart in my throat, but realized I had to be a little more assertive if I intended to communicate with him in this state. I gripped the handle and pushed open the door, knocking as I swung it open.

"Dad?" I asked, trying not to inhale the fumes that filled the room. It smelled like a bar. "Dad, you in here?"

"Hey baby," he slurred, his head not moving from his desk. "Everything okay?"

"I'm going to Leah's with Emmett, Edward and Rosalie. We're going to spend Christmas there."

"You write what you want and put it in the box," he mumbled, his hand reaching out and tapping the expensive mahogany box before his arm went limp again and his soft snore filled the room.

I sighed in frustration—I couldn't help it. I stepped in further and kicked a few bottles that had been placed beside the full trashcan and shook my head. The only thing I could do was write him a note and leave it somewhere he could find it when he was awake enough to see it.

I scribbled a few clipped words on paper and taped it to the liquor cabinet that was built into the bookshelf beside his desk. I felt the tear slide down my cheek before I realized I was crying. I brushed it away roughly and backed out of the room. I had to try and help him when I got back. I couldn't leave him this way. Izzy was surviving, which was a lot more than I could say for him.

"You ready?" Emmett asked, leaning against the wall as I backed out and pulled the door closed. The moment he saw me, his hand reached out and rubbed my back a couple times before pulling me into the circle of his arms, muttering comforting words. "It'll get better. It has to."

"What if it doesn't?"

Emmett stayed silent, his bear hug squeezing me even tighter. It was wordless between us because we both cared, we both knew something had to be done, but neither of us knew how to fix it.

I took a deep breath and patted Emmett's back, letting him know I was better.

"Let's go have some fun." He grinned. "You've been dangling this food of Sue's in front of me since Thanksgiving; now I want to collect."

I laughed and headed toward the tree to grab the presents I would need. "Well, I should probably grab your present then."

"Hell yes you should," he snorted.

~oOo~

Everyone was happy to meet Edward and Rosalie. Everyone except Seth. He didn't like how I described Edward as my boyfriend and corrected me three times before Leah finally slapped the back of is head and spelled it out—literally—for him. He'd been avoiding me since.

We'd been helping Sue prepare for the big dinner the next day and were now crashing in mamére's, now my, living room. Thankfully, Sue thought I was sleeping with Rose, and Edward and Emmett were together,; otherwise Rose and I would have been sleeping in Leah's room with her. It was a small lie that I hated to tell, but being here in this calm made me realize I needed this. It was harder to stay in this house than I'd thought.

We were all just lazing around talking. I was on Edward's lap in the recliner, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, his chin on my shoulder.

"Oh, he wasn't gonna let that go. I seriously thought I was going to have to tattoo it on his palm," Leah groaned, stealing some chips from the table in front of her. "I mean I know that he's a little delusional, but that was embarrassing."

"You should have brought, Izzy." Jacob chuckled. He was on the love-seat with Leah, her legs stretched across his lap as his fingers danced up and down her calves. "It's always you or Izzy, Izzy or you."

"Yeah, especially now she's a clone," Emmett said, his fingers running through Rosalie's hair. She was passed out on his lap.

"Shut up," I groaned, leaning my head against Edward's as his arms tightened around my waist again. I didn't need the reminder. I'd only seen her with it once and it had creeped me out.

"She what?"

"Izzy dyed her hair the same color as mine."

"No."

"It was weird."

"Yeah, no shit. Why the sudden change? I mean I know Renée fucked with her, but did she think this would change anything?"

"I don't know. I just know she's hurting and dad's a mess and the whole thing is a mess."

The boards on the porch creaked, gripping the attention of the room. It was a sound familiar with this place. Anytime someone came up the stairs, the loud groaning of the wood echoed through the house. It came from the bolt that was attached to the house, so the sound only echoed from inside. Outside it was silent. I hadn't realized how much I had forgotten until it echoed through the place.

"What the hell is that?" Edward whispered into my ear, his grip on my body moving from affectionate to protective.

"That," Leah sighed, getting up. "Is Seth."

She tiptoed to the door, knowing that the person outside wouldn't have heard the creak. She'd been here, either with me or alone with Jacob, too many years not to know it. she waited until the sound echoed through the house again before throwing open the door.

"How long have you been listening to our conversation, you little shit?"

"I haven't, I just got here."

"You gonna be rude?"

"No."

Leah stepped back and opened the door further so he could step in. His eyes scanned the room and hung on me and Edward before he moved to the loved seat and folded himself onto the ground, his back leaning against it. It was the last time he looked at me all night.

Our conversation moved on to Alice and Jasper as well as school and other things before we all started yawning and decided to turn in for the night. As always, Sue would be up early to cook, and Leah and I would be there to help. Then there were the presents, presents I was excited to hand out.

Edward and I snuggled in bed. both of us curled around one another.

His breath moved into the heavy even pattern of sleep as I lay awake in his arms, listening to the sounds that surrounded my childhood home. Pictures of Leah and me growing up covered one of the walls, Jacob and then Seth joining the fray the older we became. The shadows danced over the face of mamére as my favorite picture of the two of us sat, pride and place in the middle.

My whole life was on this wall, spreading over sixteen years, all of us growing a little with time. Faces of those we'd lost smiled down at me as I caught the shadow of something that wasn't a tree. It moved across the room quickly, tall and slender, before disappearing on the other side.

My stomach rolled uneasily as I thought of Seth alone out there. It wasn't until the creak of the porch echoed through the house that I realized I should go out and talk to him.

I wriggled out from under Edward's arm and pulled on the hoodie laying on the back of the desk chair and shivered as I stepped out of the pool of moonlight and into the darkened living room. I moved toward the door but froze in the middle of the room. The feeling I hadn't missed these last couple of weeks crawled up my spine. The icy bristles of fear were like tentacles branching out and gripping me.

It wasn't Seth, somehow I was one hundred percent certain it wasn't him. It was danger and fear. My flesh was pebbling on instinct, my heart was pounding in my chest.

I let my eyes scan the room slowly.

It was only a second, a split second, but I saw someone looking through the kitchen window where the blinds were up. My heart stopped as I struggled for breath, only a startled yelp passing my lips.

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_____**A/N: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water . . . The watching eyes have been dormant for a couple of chapters, shame it couldn't stay that way! Again I apologize about the lack of blog update. RL has been a little crazy there's that pesky deadline at work that's been nabbing all my free time, but it should die down a little now :)**_

_____**Thanks as always to my amazing beta, Annabanana, who actually did this very last minute, and had to go through this without any editing at all on my part. As always she made the words prettier!**_

_____**Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic, Thanks for the hand holding and pre-reading and keeping me sane! I love you guys and feel honored to call you friends.**_

_____**Thank you to every one of you that review. Your comments and observations, as well as your theories keep me smiling. You have no idea how thankful I am to all of you for reading each week and letting me know what you think. I still maintain I have the best readers on this site, bar none! I love you guys! Thank you!**_

_____**Much Love and humungous hugs ~Weezy~  
**_


	37. One Eye Open

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some subtle plot points in the beginning were inspired by V.C. Andrews the song and lyrics belong to the respective band and their record label and the rest is from my strange mind. The blog is all up-to-date. I apologize for the delay! Happy Tuesday and for jaijaimays: Thunderstorms in Teacups ;)_**

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**One Eye Open**

_So ask your self before you get in,  
I know the insurance won't cover this.  
Are you the rabbit, or the headlight,  
And is there room in your life  
For one more breakdown?  
**Are You The Rabbit? by Marilyn Manson**_

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I heard the footsteps padding into the room behind me, but my erratic breathing held me in place. Had I imagined the face in the window? Had I imagined the same creepy fingers of fear running down my spine? I wondered because even in the residual of the panic I felt nothing but the cool December air and the erratic beat of my heart.

"Bella? What are you doing up, baby?" Edward asked, his arms finally closing around my waist and making my body relax.

"I thought I heard something," I muttered, leaning my head back against his chest and absorbing his warmth.

"Maybe it was Santa."

I laughed, the last of the panic depleting from my body and dulling the rush of adrenaline. I felt safe in his arms; now he was here I was starting to believe that what I'd seen had been a figment of my imagination. Who would be stalking around these houses at this time of night? Everyone knew one another here, no one would walk around peering in windows.

"Come back to bed," Edward whispered in my ear, stepping backward and pulling me with him.

I nodded and let him guide me back to my bedroom; he pulled me onto the mattress that was still warm from his body heat, and we curled around one another. I closed my eyes and concentrated on Edward's breathing, letting him drag me into unconsciousness.

I was startled awake the next morning. Jarred from sleep long before I was ready.

"Edward, if you're naked, cover up. I'm coming in." Leah's voice was wide-awake and full of excitement. I groaned, feeling as though I hadn't slept at all. The heaviness of sleep seemed like a blanket I couldn't escape.

My eyes fluttered open to the dull gray morning light. It was early. Too early, and it was a typical Leah-Christmas schedule. She hated waiting to open presents and demanded everyone wake up and indulge in her need to unwrap. Knowing Sue, she'd made sure to involve my little house full in her plans. Which was exactly why Leah was giving us the early morning wake up call.

The door was flung open and Leah danced in with a wide smile. Edward's only reaction was to bury his head deeper into my neck.

"Cute, Edward, but there's no escape. I will be bouncing on the bed if you don't roll your asses out of bed. You have five minutes while I wake Rose and Emmett."

She disappeared from the room, and Edward's arms wrapped around me. "Please tell me it's just a cloudy day and not the crack of dawn."

"It's a cloudy day," I offered, my smile broad as I brushed his auburn hair from his eyes. "At dawn."

"Smart ass," he mumbled, pressing his lips against my neck and rolling toward me so his body half covered mine. "Will she really be back?"

"Oh yes." Leah never disappointed. If she wanted you awake she would harass you until you were standing in the shower and ready to start the day. She was relentless. "On the upside, we probably got an extra thirty minutes sleep. Jacob always fights."

"You know him well," Leah sang, dancing back in the room. "One day he'll realize I always win."

"I'm sure he's well aware of that, it's just more fun fighting," Emmett added, stopping in the doorway, his hand running through his disheveled curls. "Morning."

"Morning."

Edward just groaned. "What is this a Tupperware party?"

"Someone is grumpy in the mornings. Time for the bounce, me thinks."

"No," Edward pouted against the warm skin of my neck. "Early, need sleep."

"Leah, you better have brought some coffee with you," Rosalie called from the other bedroom. "I need caffeine."

"Pot's on up at mom's. You're gonna have to get your ass out of bed."

"You're useless."

"Yet you still love me, blondie."

"Yes, remind me why again?"

"Edward, you get a ten minute reprieve while I beat the crap out of Rose."

Leah darted from the room and Rosalie's giggle-filled screams filled the house, followed by loud, "Stop, stop."

I'd been on the receiving end of such treatment and I could do nothing but laugh at the attempt to get Leah to stop. I knew exactly what she was doing. Bouncing and kicking, her foot flat on the stomach while her abnormally long toes tickled you. The girl was a freak of nature. Poor Emmett's eyebrows were raised and his head shaking. From where he was standing he could see both of the rooms, and his eyes were most definitely on the two girls in the other room.

"Bel-la," Leah chortled from the next room. "Open your window and holler at Seth to bring coffee, he was on the porch. This hag won't get out of bed without it."

"Hey, why do I get hag?"

"Whore, slut and bitch are taken." I could almost see Leah shrugging in her usual matter-of-fact way.

I rolled to the window next to the bed and unlocked it, struggling to push it up with Edward still wrapped around me. As soon as it was dislodged and the cool winter air blew through the gap, Edward retreated under the covers completely, his lips grazing the small of my back where my shirt had risen up.

"Sethie? You out there?"

"No," he snorted in response.

"Could you do me a huge favor?"

"Depends what it is. You want me to strangle Leah for getting you up early? I can do that."

"I heard that, you little shit," Leah shouted from the other room, followed closely by her footsteps pounding through the house. I felt her weight hit the bed and she crawled up next to me, thankfully not on Edward. "You're going to pay for that, Seth. Unless you bring coffee for everyone."

"What? Why would I do that?"

"Because you love us," I shouted.

Seth did end up bringing the coffee to us, and within thirty minutes, Leah had us all rallied and heading over to Sue's to open presents and help cook the Christmas dinner. Seth, Emmett and Edward were watching television while the rest of us were in the kitchen, laughing and helping cook the feast that Sue always put together for us.

I had so many gifts I think I had blushed through most of the morning and was glad to finally retreat to the kitchen to get away from the constant stain of my cheeks. This was the first time my two worlds had melded together in the opposite direction, I knew Leah and the rest of my family fit with my world in New Orleans, but this was the first time any of them had come here with me. It was overwhelming. It felt like a family, and I felt more relaxed than I had in weeks.

Sue and I talked about the visit from Renée while we did the dishes. Everyone else was preoccupied, playing _Scrabble_ in the living room. She was disgusted by what was said to me. If anything, Sue was more eager than ever to have "_that woman_" out of my life forever.

We rejoined everyone in the living room, Rosalie and Leah were currently arguing over whether adding an _S_ to _Table_ was against the rules or not.

"Leah, you know the rules, kid," Sue laughed, taking the seat next to her. "You get your insatiable need to win from your father."

"Yes, and the rules clearly state . . ."

"That you can indeed play that, Rosalie. Take your points, bebé." Sue grinned. "There's nothing honorable about cheating to win, Leah."

"Fine."

I sat down on the arm of Seth's chair and gave Edward a smile. He was currently squashed between Emmett and Jacob on the couch, and as much as I wanted to simply fall into his lap I knew it would be rude in the middle of a game.

"Oh good, you can help me, Bella." Seth grinned, his yawn elongating the _a_. "My brain refuses to work."

"Why so tired, Sethie?" I asked, ruffling his hair and glancing at the letters he had.

"You didn't hear the Uley's dogs going crazy? They were so loud I didn't get to sleep until two. Then Leah bounds in at the ass crack of dawn."

"It's Christmas, so zip it, turd."

"Guys, is the name calling really necessary?"

"Yes." Four of us said in unison. It was everyone with a sibling. Leah and I grinned at one another and mouthed '_Slut_' and '_Whore_'.

We played four other games before we left Sue to go to bed and moved back to my house. We were leaving early to have our Christmas with Jasper and Alice so we said our goodbyes to Sue before we left. It was odd feeling like I was leaving home all over again. The past two days had been so amazing, there was nothing distracting us from our time together. All of us had just enjoyed the company and laughed more than we had in a long time. Even Emmett seemed more comfortable here.

We left early the next morning as planned. Leah had been our alarm clock and came prepared with coffee to get Rosalie out of bed. When we finally pulled away, everyone in the car was silent. It was thirty minutes before anyone said a word, then Emmett broke the lingering quiet.

"I can see why it's so hard for you to leave now."

"They're my family," I admitted, looking in my rear view mirror. "I've known them my whole life."

Edward picked up my hand and gave it a squeeze before pulling it to his lips so he could kiss my knuckles. His touch was the only thing that could have made me smile in that moment.

"Yeah, but I haven't and I was reluctant to get in the car too," Emmett sighed, his arm wrapping around Rosalie and pulling her into his side. "I've never had a Christmas like that."

"Not even before your mom and my dad got married?"

"Oh hell no," Emmett guffawed. "You think this is bad, you should have seen her second husband. He and Peter hated one another. I actually looked forward to going to my dad's, but when I got there he and his girlfriend were more often than not drunk or high off their asses and going at it like we weren't there. That or he was beating us for something. When he and mom were together that's all he ever did, beat us. The Christmases before this one weren't that bad but with everything going on this year it's been hard."

Did I cause this rift? Was I the weight that tipped the precariously balanced load? They may not have always been close but at least it wasn't like this, where they felt as though they had to escape. All I'd wanted to do was get to know my dad, and instead I was the reason my mother found them. I was the reason dad was drinking.

"Bella, don't think like that. I can see it in your eyes. Look we've been better than we have in a long time with you around. This shit with Renée was unfortunate, but if it wasn't that it would be something else. There would have been a huge fight and Carlisle would have picked up a drink regardless," Emmett stated, his hand appearing over my chair as he gripped my shoulder. "We're all better having you around, but they are who they are. Mom feeds from drama, Izzy is selfish and fucked up, Carlisle tries too hard but he breaks, and Peter," Emmett sighed, shaking his head. "He's been falling apart for years. So stop trying to blame yourself. You're not moving away."

"I just hate this."

"I've hated it for years," Emmett admitted, moving his hand to clap Edward on the shoulder. "Tell her, man."

"It's true," Edward sighed, his fingers tickling my wrist. "Emmett likes living with Carlisle, but he knows his mom and Carlisle don't belong together. They've always started the trouble. You leaving won't solve that, and if you think I will let you move two hours away from me, you're insane."

I laughed once and gave him a wink. I didn't think I could survive that far from him either. We chatted about anything other than family after that. Being in the car with our friends wasn't the time to discuss this with Emmett. I knew we had to do something, but what, I wasn't sure of. There was so much going on under that one roof, so many different problems rolled into one big one.

We didn't go back to our house when we got into New Orleans; we went straight to Jasper's to celebrate Christmas with him and Alice. It was nice to be together as a group. I missed my friendship with Jasper because I spent so much time with Edward. Not that I was complaining.

Jasper and Alice were finally comfortable showing their affection for one another around me. I wasn't sure if it's because I didn't stay away from Edward like I had expected myself to, or that they were comfortable enough in their own relationship to stop feeling self-conscious about it.

Even when we left the Whitlock's house, I only dropped Emmet and Rosalie off at the house. Edward's home was still empty and he'd ridden with me to my house. Thankfully, Mrs. Masen had put Ruby into a dog hotel because she knew Edward was spending Christmas with me. I was planning on staying with him, but that didn't last long at all.

I'd only just pulled up into his driveway when my phone rang. When I answered it, I got no standard greeting, the voice immediately picked up on the other end.

"You're home and you didn't even come in and say hi? If you had you'd know that I need you," Izzy sniffed down the phone. "I know it's you're vacation too and everything, but do you think you could hang out for a while? I need someone to talk to."

"What happened?"

"I'll tell you when you get here. It's been a nightmare since you left. Dad came out and was partially sober, but when he found out you were spending Christmas with Leah he locked himself back in his office. Then Jess and I got into this huge fight and . . ." her voice fell off into a strangled sob. "Please."

"Ok, Gimmie ten minutes."

Edward's eyebrows rose as his face fell with disappointment. On the short drive from my house to here, we'd worked one another up into a frenzy. I hated to let him down like that, but with everything going on at the house I at least wanted the peace between Izzy and me to continue, even if I didn't trust her.

"Hurry," she sniffed, and hung up the phone.

"I'm so sorry, Edward."

"No, I understand, I really do," he said, leaning over the console and pressing his lips to mine. I instantly regretted my decision but I couldn't call her back and cancel now. No matter how much I wanted to. "I will be here later though, and if you don't come over by ten, I'm coming to you."

I looked down at the clock and smiled. That gave me three hours. Plenty of time to do some damage control and head back here. "Is that a threat or a promise?"

"A promise," he muttered against my lips, his tongue sweeping the line between them and making me shiver.

"So I will see you at ten, regardless?"

"Yup."

"Good."

"It will be," he growled, nibbling at my lips before depriving me of his touch completely and sitting back. "Now get going so you can get back to me faster."

"Sir, yes sir."

He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine one last time before sliding out of the car and taking his backpack with him. We smiled at one another before I hesitantly threw my car in reverse and backed out of the drive.

I made it back to the house in record time, but immediately wished I hadn't. The door to the study was closed tightly, Tanya's car was gone and Emmett and Rosalie had been pulling out when I pulled in. Which meant I was alone in the house with Peter and Izzy who were currently exercising their lungs in fury at one another.

"Guys, will you please stop it?" I asked, reaching the second floor landing which seemed to be the staging area for any and all arguments.

"Bella." Izzy ran at me and threw her arms around my neck. "I'm so glad you're home."

I was taken aback by the action but gave her a light squeeze nonetheless. I didn't want her to think I was being cold when there was obviously something bothering her. I may not trust her but I didn't want to be another slash in the people who let Izzy down column.

"What's going on?" I asked. I could only see Peter so I kept my eyes on him.

"She broke up with Newton."

I squeezed her a little tighter so she'd know I sympathized. Mike Newton was a piece of shit, but it didn't mean I wanted her to hurt in any way because of it.

"I went to see Jess; her mom let me in and I walked in on them fucking," Izzy sniffed into my shoulder. "He didn't even care, it was only because Jessica told him to stop that he did. They're so disgusting. I hate them. I hate them."

"So why are you arguing with, Peter?"

"Thank you," Peter added, leaning against his door jam as his eyes drank in Izzy's and my embracing bodies.

"If he satisfied that little slut, this wouldn't be an issue."

"Where the fuck is the rationality in that?" Peter asked, a sarcastic laugh falling from his lips as he held up his hands in exasperation. "I'm sure she was fucking him long before she and I . . ."

"Shut the fuck up, Peter," Izzy growled. Her body pulled away from mine and she spun on her heel to face him. "I believe your girlfriend just cheated on you, just like my boyfriend cheated on me."

"Difference is, I couldn't give a fuck."

"Peter, you're not helping matters."

"Bella, I know you mean well, but this is between Izzy and me."

He gave me a nod and averted his eyes back to Izzy again. They narrowed at her, the anger seeping through the blue eyes he shared with his brother. Why the two of them blamed one another was beyond me. Neither one of them was at fault for what was going on between Jess and Mike, yet here they were, at the other's throat as though it would solve some great mystery.

"Izzy, why don't we go and talk about this?" I asked, hoping that at least she'd see the sense in walking away from the situation. She'd asked me to come home because she had needed me, I didn't want to stand around all night and watch her argue with our step brother over something he really had no power over.

"Kay."

I threw Peter an apologetic glance and pulled Izzy toward her room.

We talked for hours about the situation. Izzy had been genuinely upset. She speculated about how long this had been going on, but I kept my mouth shut—she didn't need to know I had seen them together over a month ago. I felt horrible about storing this information, but I didn't want her to think I had betrayed her by keeping quiet. At the time I knew she would have thought I was trying to cause problems for her; when things smoothed between us, I simply didn't want to hurt her like that, and now . . . Now I didn't want her to feel as though I had been hiding it from her. So I listened. It was all I had to offer her. She'd lost her best friend and boyfriend in one night.

At ten o'clock, my phone pinged with a message from Edward. He was in my room waiting for me. As promised.

That was the last night I spent at home for a while. Even after my talk with Izzy, she and Peter continued to scream at one another. They were both out for blood so I stayed away. Thankfully Izzy didn't notice at all, but neither did dad.

Emmett and I were the only ones who noticed, and neither of us were there. We called one another after we ventured home for clothes and warned each other of the situation there.

I stayed with Edward until after New Year's, when his parents finally came home. He told me I could still stay there, but our two weeks of freedom had left me with an insatiable hunger for him, one I knew I couldn't feed while his parents were there. Sleeping was all well and good, but there was that need for more every time our lips met.

Rather than going home I went to Angela's and Alice's houses. Alice spent a lot of time with Jasper so I spent the last of the holiday with Angela at her house. She and Ben were dating now, so when she saw him, I saw Edward and it all worked out. The last weekend had been the only time James had shown his face.

I'd just gone to get Angela and myself some snacks because we were watching movies; Alice and Rosalie had joined us for the last Friday night before we went back to school. She'd warned me he was home, but it was still a shock to see him.

"Bella."

"James." I shifted to the other side of the kitchen to where I knew the popcorn would be stored in the pantry. After the situation at the mall, I really didn't think it was a good idea to get any closer to him. He seemed to not catch a hint easily.

"How was your Christmas?"

"Good, and yours?" I asked, hoping the tone of complete disinterest came through loud and clear.

"Not bad. I went back to campus Christmas Eve. We did Christmas early because poor Victoria was on her own."

Victoria. That had to be good news. Was he dating her again?

I hoped he was.

"You two back together?"

"Kinda," he said, smirking. "So, about that day at the mall. I'm sorry it got out of hand. It seemed like Masen was staking a claim there."

I smiled at the mention of that day. I may have hauled ass away from that kiss, but it was the one thing that had brought us together. "He did."

"Does that mean . . .?"

"Yeah," I answered. "We're dating now."

"You know it's none of my business, but . . ."

"You're right, it's none of your business," I said defensively, cutting him off. I didn't need to hear his thoughts on the situation. I had made up my own mind. I didn't need someone I barely knew telling me what they thought. Especially when they had a history like Edward and James'. "I'm not trying to be rude, James, but I make my own decisions. I don't need you or anyone else telling me something I'm already well aware of."

"Fair enough."

I grabbed the popcorn from the pantry and threw it into the microwave, slapping the buttons on the front. I was so tired of the lies and rumors and the backstabbing going on. It seemed that no matter what happened, no matter who I chose to be friends with, there was always something to be said about it. The only person who hadn't tried to force-feed me his opinion was Emmett.

"I guess I'll catch you later then?" James asked from close behind me. I gripped the counter so tightly my knuckles went white. I was at my limit. For some reason he was ignoring the fact I wanted nothing to do with him. I was purposely being rude, I was snapping at him, and I was putting more distance than necessary between us, yet he still chose to step closer.

"Bye, James." I chose my words carefully because I meant what I was trying to say. I didn't want to be friends with him; I didn't want to act as though we had known each other for a lifetime. Yes, he'd helped me out once, but that didn't mean he had a say in my life, that didn't mean I wanted to see him every time I turned a corner.

"Bella?"

"What?"

"I didn't mean to offend you."

"Yeah? Well, you did," I sighed, removing the popcorn and grabbing a bowl from the cabinet. I emptied out the bag and refused to look at him again, even though I could feel his eyes on me.

"Bella, I . . ."

I took a deep breath, there was nothing more I could or would say that would make any difference so I walked away. I may not have been happy with everything that was going on at home, but I knew I couldn't stay there, not with James in the same house. I had to bite the bullet and go home for the weekend.

Rosalie and Alice came with me when I left. Edward and the others had been out doing whatever it was boys did together and we were meeting up with them before I took the plunge and went back to the war zone. I was hoping to rope Emmett into going with me.

I asked while we were at dinner. Edward had gone to play pool with Jasper, and Alice and Rosalie were at the jukebox trying to find something that wasn't country.

"Please?"

"No, it's gone from bad to worse. Peter is losing his goddamn mind and Izzy thinks it's a sport to wind him up. I don't want anything to do with that."

"I made things so much worse for you all," I admitted. I'd been thinking about it again, even with the constant reassurances in the past from dad and Emmett.

"Will you stop it? Bella, this is about as good as it gets around the house. Sure, your dad's drinking again, but he would be in his study regardless, or at work. We've been at our best since you arrived. I know you can't see that now, but this is just them reverting back into their old habits."

"It doesn't feel that way."

"I'm sure it doesn't to you, but this is the same shit, different day for me. Having you around is the only silver lining. Why are you going home anyway?"

"I thought I had nowhere else to go," I said, thinking about the excuse. "James is home so I couldn't stay at Angela's. Alice is with Jasper, Rose is with you and Edward . . ."

I trailed off and laughed at Emmett's expression. He didn't care that Edward and I were dating but it seemed like any reference beyond that was something he just didn't want to hear. I guess he was taking his brother role to the full extent.

"Yeah, yeah," he sighed, waving his hands in front of him. "I get that. I think your dad would shit bricks if he stayed at the house, and his parents have got all clingy since he was accepted into LSU."

"Yeah, that and since they found the . . ."

Emmett leaned across the table and clamped my lips together with his fingers. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" I asked around his fingers.

"Edward already told me what they found."

I snorted. I couldn't help it because of the way his fingers had my lips trapped together. I was no prude, but I didn't broadcast Edward's and my relationship either. I would never have followed through with the statement, but I also knew Emmett would never let me finish so I did it solely to wind him up.

"Emmett, would you mind letting my girl breathe?" Edward laughed, sliding into the booth beside me, his arm circling my waist.

Emmett released his grip on my lips and I had to rub them together to get the blood circulating again. Edward seemed to think I needed help and swooped in, pressing his lips against mine.

"I can taste your strawberry milkshake on your lips," he mumbled, pulling me closer.

"You guys are gross. It's official," Emmett sighed, his hands slapping against the table. "I am nauseated."

"Emmett," I teased. "Why are you such a prude when it comes to Edward and me?"

"I'm not a prude. You're my little sister, one that I was forced to learn held onto her virtue. So now it's very obvious my best friend stole it when you talk about it."

"I love you, Emmett."

"What's with the love fest?"

"I've never told you that before. I think of you as my brother; we may not be blood, but I could never have dreamed up a better sibling for myself."

"Well I love you back, but no more mushy bullshit."

"I promise."

"Good," he chuckled, rolling his eyes at me. He picked up a fry from his plate and threw it at me as if to reinforce the request.

"So, you sure you don't want to stay at my house tonight?" Edward asked, playing with the ends of my hair.

"Dude!"

"What?"

"I just asked you to _not_ do that."

"Do what?"

"Talk about us, in a bed, in any context," I interjected.

"Oh right, that."

"Yes, that," Emmett added sarcastically.

~oOo~

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," I replied, pushing my lips against Edward's. We'd been sitting in the cushioned loungers in my backyard for an hour, huddled under a blanket I'd stolen from the pool house. I was on my side, half draped over his body so I could kiss him.

We had been debating whether I should stay here for the night or not. I loved his parents and they seemed to like me, but I was a little embarrassed by the incident I had used to offend Emmett. Edward and I had been asleep when his mom came in to remind him of something and she'd found a condom wrapper on the floor. I was mortified, especially when she'd confronted him about it—in front of me.

"I thought it was bad around here."

"It is, but I need to see dad, I need to try and do something. This is getting ridiculous."

"Well, just come over tomorrow morning."

"Aren't we persistent."

Edward chuckled, but his arms tightened around me, pulling me tighter against his body. I loved being this close to him. His smell was so familiar to me now, I couldn't help but let myself drown in it. Especially when I knew I wouldn't have it close to me overnight.

"Bella? What the hell are you doing out here at this time of the night. The neighbors will think . . . Oh, hello, Edward."

"Mrs. Cullen. How are you?"

Tanya flicked her hair and smiled at him. It made my skin crawl.

"Good. I didn't know you and Bella were . . . familiar."

"We're dating," Edward said easily, his hands rubbing down my back gently.

Tanya nodded once and walked toward the back door. I could see her head held high, as though she was trying to prove something, but what, was completely beyond me.

"Poor Emmett, I don't think I could deal with my mom being like that," he whispered once the door clicked closed behind her.

"It's funny what you get used to."

"This is the last time I'll ask, I promise. But are you sure you don't want to come home with me?"

I snuggled into his chest and giggled. I was seriously considering it, but even that was stolen from me the moment I heard Tanya's shrill voice scream at who I could only assume was my dad.

"_You're a waste off space; you haven't been to work in weeks. You're pouting and for what?_"

"I should go," I sighed, sitting up and running my hands through my hair in frustration. I couldn't even sit in the back yard with my boyfriend without being embarrassed.

"_Your daughters won't even bring their friends inside because you're such a goddamn mess. I can't even let the girls come over to pick me up I'm so afraid they'll see you. The boys are out of the house most of the time, and Izzy is in her room doing god knows what. You're a failure as a husband, and a failure as a father._"

Anger leaked slowly into my veins at her words. Dad hadn't raised his voice in response but she was still shouting shrilly. She was speaking for all of us when she had no right to do so. He wasn't a failure to me. Sure this drinking thing had to stop, but if she honestly thought talking to him like that helped anything, she was a bigger idiot than I'd imagined.

Edward pressed his lips to the back of my neck and helped me off the lounger, pulling me into his arms.

"Don't let her get under your skin and react. It's what she wants."

I knew he was right, Tanya was well aware that I could hear her and she was using it to her advantage. Whatever she was trying to do I had to ignore her. I would talk to dad about all of this, but for now I just needed to get her away from him and dad into a bed where he could sleep this off while I threw out the last of the alcohol in the house.

"Goodnight, babe."

"Night, Edward. Call me in the morning?"

"Of course."

He backed away from me and gave me a sympathetic smile before turning around and leaving. He knew me well enough to realize I wasn't going to change my mind after the little display of Tanya's.

With a deep breath, I moved toward the house and stepped inside. Tanya's harsh words seemed to hang in the air even though silence was the only thing filling the space. I'd hoped to wait to talk to my dad, but I knew I couldn't let _her_ words speak for me.

The door to the study was open, and the slamming of the door upstairs made it obvious he was now alone. I walked quietly to the entrance of his study, unsure of what I would find on the other side of it. I hated that he was so unstable right now; this amazingly strong man that had accepted me so completely was now a mess, teetering precariously on the edge of alcoholism. I couldn't watch him self-destruct anymore.

"Dad?" I called, knocking on the doorframe and peeking inside. He was seated behind his desk with his head in his hands. His hair was disheveled and greasy and his clothes were wrinkled, the buttons on his shirt not matching the holes they were paired with.

He looked up the moment I stepped inside, and even in the dim light of the desk lamp, I could see how bloodshot his eyes were.

"Hey kiddo, everything okay?"

"No, not really," I admitted, taking a step deeper inside. "I'm worried about you."

I watched as his mouth floundered, trying to form words. It looked like he was running excuses and reassurances through his mind and wondering which would be best to use, but there was nothing that would ease my mind. Nothing but him at the kitchen table drinking and eating, sleeping regular hours and not being locked in this office with more alcohol than the bars on Bourbon Street.

I was surprised when he answered though. His answer more honest than I could have ever hoped for.

"So am I, Bella." His hands scrubbed his face before he offered me a weak smile.

"Why don't I help you upstairs then? You could sleep in the spare room, take a shower, I'll make you something to eat. Everyone has to start somewhere. If you need help we'll get you help."

"You're too good to me, and all I've done is fail you from the moment you arrived."

I stepped further into the room, the action sprung from determination and desperation as he reached for his highball glass of scotch.

"No, that's not true. You've been nothing but the father I've always wanted. Sure, things haven't been so great these last couple of weeks, but we can get past that, at least, we have to try."

"Bella . . ."

"You just have to stop this drinking."

"I'm an embarrassment."

"No you're not. Dad, please, I can't help you fix this unless you help yourself."

To my surprise, his hands pushed the glass away before his slender body rose from the chair it had occupied for too long now. He wavered on the spot, his hands gripping the edge of the desk to steady himself. This was progress at least.

I helped him up the stairs and made him something to eat while he took a shower. I couldn't let myself think this was miraculously all better because I wasn't that naive. No matter how much I wanted it to be the resolution, that he would finally see what he was doing to himself, I knew that he would have to fight this. It was only the beginning for him, but I was going to try and help him as much as I could.

I left him alone to eat the sandwich as he climbed into bed with the fresh smell of soap and shampoo lingering around him. I still wanted to talk to him more, but I hoped he would at least be sober for the conversation. The emotional weight of the situation weighted me down, but I still pushed myself forward, gathering every bottle of liquor I could find and hauling it out to the cans by the garage. By the time I made it to my room, I was exhausted.

I pulled off my sweater and jeans and climbed into bed in my underwear, too tired to make the trek across the room to get my pj's. Not that anyone would come looking for me anyway.

I could feel the heavy weight of sleep tugging at the corners of my mind, dragging me under into the black abyss that would give me reprieve from this, well at least for one night.

~oOo~

I woke up with a shuddering jolt, my room was still cloaked in darkness and I felt like I hadn't been asleep at all. My eyes scanned the darkness as my body pumped adrenaline through my veins. I was more awake than I thought possible.

My ragged breathing was the only thing I could hear as my heart hammered in my chest, I could feel each thud in my throat as the palpable fear kept me frozen in suspension. I couldn't see anything but I knew without a doubt there was someone in my room. They were close. Even the hairs on my arms were aware of it.

"Hello?"

"Hey," the voice responded.

My body relaxed a little at the familiarity of the sound, but my body was still rigid with fear and anxiety. Alarms were ringing in my head with alarming clarity, each one sounding out a single word. _Wrong_. Something was wrong. This was wrong. The voice sounded wrong. What was wrong?

Adrenaline pushed my body forward and I clicked on the light jumping at the proximity of his body to mine. The lazy smile accompanied by vacant eyes. His pupils were so small they were swallowed by the blue surrounding them.

Wrong.

His hand caught mine and his smile moved from lazy to calculating. My heart froze in my chest before hammering out a staccato beat. His vacant stare was locked on me even as his head moved from side to side.

"No lights."

"Are you . . . what's wrong?"

"Nothing." It was followed by a maniacal laugh as his weight shifted onto the bed.

I scrambled, my mind and body finally uniting to get me out of this situation. My hands and legs moved quickly as they tried to shift me back, but his cold hand locked around my ankle before I could get too far. He pulled me toward him in a burst of strength I wasn't prepared for.

He moved up my body, his hands like manacles on my wrists as his knees dug into my thighs locking me in place under him. This couldn't be happening, this shouldn't be happening. This was so _wrong_.

"Peter, don't do this. It's Bella, please don't do this," I sobbed, trying to fight my way from under his grasp. "Why are you doing this?"

"Mine," he growled, right before his lips smashed against mine. Desperate, I bit down on his lip. He didn't move much, but it was enough for me to let off a siren of a scream.

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**A/N: Uh Oh . . . Bella finds herself in quite the predicament. I know there's a lot of drama going on here and to be quite honest there may be more. Only 8 chapters left . . .**

**Thanks as always to my beta, Annabanana. She makes the words look pretty. It wasn't posted Beta'd but I will replace it as soon as it is. I forgot to send the chapter to her. Oops!**

**Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic. I love you guys and I'm so honored to call you friends. Thanks for all the hand holding and ass kicking when I'm a neurotic mess. You're all awesome!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviews. Your words and thoughts mean so much to me and I love hearing your thoughts on the situations, your patience with me is endless and I love each and everyone of you for it. Thank you for sticking around and being amazing! I love you guys!**

**Much love and huge hugs ~Weezy~  
**


	38. Whore Du Jour

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some subtle plot points in the beginning were inspired by V.C. Andrews the song and lyrics belong to the respective band and their record label and the rest is from my strange mind. The blog is umm behind again . . . sorry! I apologize for the delay! Happy Tuesday!  
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**Whore Du Jour  
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_Freeze without an answer  
Free from all the shame  
Then I'll hide  
Cause I'll never  
Never sleep alone  
**The Widow by The Mars Volta**_

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Peter's cold hand came down hard over my mouth to stop the sound from escaping any more than it already had, but it was too late. I could hear my door being thrown open, the sound of the handle smashing against the drywall followed by hammering footfalls of someone as the came up the stairs two at a time.

I didn't know who it was, and at this point I didn't care. I just wanted him off me, away from me. I wanted to curl up into a ball and pretend none of this ever happened. I wanted to stop my mind from going down the 'what if' path. I couldn't think like that, not now, not when . . .

Peter disappeared from on top of me and I could see Emmett push him away, his face contorted with rage. I had never seen him like that before. Peter rushed forward again to try and get at me, but Emmett's long arm swung and his fist made contact with a dull thud sending Peter on his ass.

His eyes flickered between Emmett and I and I couldn't stop myself from pulling my legs up to my chest and huddling against the headboard to put more distance between us.

There was extra movement on the bed and my eyes flickered to the source as my body shuddered in terror.

Rosalie. It was just Rosalie.

Her arms opened and I scrambled to where she was. The shivering and shakes making my body impossible to control, and forcing me to crash into her with more force than I had originally intended.

"Get out of my fucking way, Emmett."

His voice, not his own, made my body shudder. They way he'd said "Mine" just seconds earlier echoed through my mind. I was hanging onto my sanity by a thread, fear and lethargy battled for dominance, but I couldn't let either take control. I had to be focused; I had to keep my mind sharp.

"Bella?" My dad's voice echoed up the stairs, the sound followed by his heavy footsteps. "Was that you screaming, I thought I heard . . . What the hell is going on here?"

He'd only just reached the top of the stairs but his steel gray eyes were scanning the scene before him. It wasn't hard to see that he was already processing the possibilities. Emmett had his hand firmly on Peter's shoulder keeping him down on the ground. Rosalie was still wrapped around me, her fingers working through my hair. Me, in my underwear because I was so tired.

I was an idiot.

"Someone say _something_," dad demanded. His eyes shifting from me to Emmett and then down to where Peter was being held down.

"Peter, he was . . ." Rosalie started, but couldn't. I was starting to believe she was just as overwhelmed by all of this as I was.

"He what?"

"He tried to . . . _force_ himself, on Bella," Emmett finally choked out. I could see how difficult it was for him to say the words. He may not have got along with Peter, but he was still his brother.

It took a few seconds for the words to sink in; I could see the color draining from dad's face as the realization sunk in. He gripped the post at the top of the stairs and rocked on weak legs before his hardened eyes locked on Peter. In a breath he took off toward him, his cheeks flushing scarlet with anger as he closed in on his target.

Panic struck deep in my chest as I realized what was about to happen. He was only two steps away from reaching him when Emmett finally moved into action and caught dad in the chest, his thick arm catching dad's torso and hauling him back.

"He's not worth it, Carlisle," Emmett muttered. "Relax, he's not worth it."

"I want him out of the house. NOW!"

"Excuse me?"

All of us turned to the stairs where Tanya was stood in a soft, pink, satin robe. Her hair was twisted up onto her head, but her eyes were narrowed in anger. My room was beginning to feel smaller by the second.

"I. Want. Him. Out."

"Why?"

"Because he's a sick little pervert."

"Of all the . . ."

"He's telling the truth mom," Emmett interrupted. He looked down at his brother who was now rubbing his jaw where Emmett had smacked him. "He must have got into dad's stash again. He's fucked up."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tanya fired, her head held high.

"Oh just stop it, mother. It's amazing we got this far with you and dad as parents. You know what goes on in that house. I know you remember the first time Peter found dad's shit, you complained about having to sit in the hospital for a week."

"Emmett –"

"What? You want me to stop talking so no one will know what a failure you are?"

"That's enough, Emmett. Even if Peter is high, why is that reason to throw him out? He needs help from us. Not to be turned away like a stray dog."

"I will not have him around my daughters. Not after what he did tonight," Dad barked out, stepping past Tanya and toward the bed.

Her cold eyes turned to me in accusation. I could almost see her mind working behind her eyes. Calculating another excuse so she could lay the blame anywhere other than at her feet.

"And what happened?"

"Your animal of a son tried to _force_ himself on my daughter. You're lucky I don't call the police and press charges for attempted rape."

"_Rape_? Oh come on Carlisle. Your daughters are both sluts. I saw _her_ outside with Edward Masen tonight. The way she was draped over him . . . the poor kid looked smothered."

I choked out a whimper at her choice of words. I knew she was up to something, but accusing me of starting this atrocity was too much. I couldn't do this; I couldn't be here and listen to this anymore. I refused to be accused of starting whatever Peter was trying to do. I refused to take the blame for being a victim. I refused to . . .

"Look at her. She's in her underwear for Christ's sake."

My cheeks flamed as I realized I was huddled into Rosalie in my bra and boy shorts. I'd thought about it earlier and chastised myself for it, but now – now I was humiliated as well as ashamed of myself.

"So?" Rosalie piped up. I could hear the anger in her voice. "I sleep in my underwear too, are you saying I would deserve to be attacked in my own bed while I was asleep because I couldn't be assed to put pajamas on?"

"Why are you even here?" Tanya snapped, her cold eyes moving the mere inches to Rosalie's face.

"Don't you dare, mom," Emmett cut in.

Everything was being blown into a huge mess around me. I hadn't said a word, I couldn't I was still too dazed at what had happened; yet this whole this was escalating into a huge mess in front of me and I was helpless to stop it. I needed to get out of here, and it needed to be soon. My stomach was rolling uncomfortable and I could only assume I was hurting Rosalie with the way I was clinging to her.

"Rose, can I stay at your house tonight? Please?" I whispered, another uncontrollable shake rattling my bones.

"Of course, Bella," she cooed, pulling the throw blanket up from the bottom of the bed and wrapping it around me. She coaxed my fingers from where I was clinging to the too big shirt she was wearing and slowly worked me to my wobbly legs.

"Bella, your wrists," dad shouted, stepping forward and making me shrink back. I couldn't explain my behavior, but I saw the pain shoot through his eyes. "May I see, please?"

I nodded, and held out my wrist for him to examine. His warm hands were gentle as he held them tentatively, his fingers prodding gently along the red marks that were still bright and angry.

"No breaks or fractures, but you'll have some bruises there. Does anywhere else hurt?"

I shook my head. I didn't want him to see my thighs that were still aching from Peter's knees digging into them. The humiliation of having bruises on my wrists was enough.

"I'll come get you tomorrow, you me and Izzy will go to lunch while Peter's dad comes and gets his things."

"Yes, sir."

"Thanks, Rose," Dad mumbled before turning back to Tanya, who was holding Peter's chin in her hands.

Rose guided me away, but it didn't seem to stop the unfolding of the dramatics. Tanya wouldn't let this go. Dad was trying to protect us; she was trying to protect her claim on dad's money. It was obvious in her next question.

"I can't believe you hit him, Carlisle. You do realize what this means don't you?"

"I hit him, mother, Emmett snapped. It was the last thing I heard clearly as Rosalie guided me into the closet and pulled the door closed behind us.

"You okay? You've barely strung a sentence together since we found you."

"Shaken up," I mumbled, covering my eyes with my hand. "I was out of it, Rose. I'd just put dad to bed and thrown out all the liquor bottles. I was mentally and physically exhausted. I just wanted to sleep. I didn't think I just . . . I just . . ."

I tried to swallow the tears. I managed to keep them at bay for this long I wasn't ready to let go of them just yet.

"Like I said, Bells, I do it all the time. Don't let that witch get to you. She's grasping at straws. She'll say anything to shift the blame onto someone else. You did nothing wrong. This is your room. Your house. You're supposed to feel safe and comfortable here; your room is your sanctuary. Lets get you some clothes so we can get the hell out of here."

"Thanks, Rose," I sniffed; her words were reassuring to me. I had been going back and forth over what happened and I still couldn't understand it.

"Hey, I'm your hag remember," she said, winking. "You can come to me for anything."

I dressed quickly in sweats and pulled some things into a bag for the next day before letting Rosalie lead me out back out into the war zone that was my room.

Rosalie passed Emmett and reached for his hand squeezing it gently before letting it go, when his eyes met mine I could see the silent apology lingering there and I wished I had time to ease him of the guilt he was so obviously feeling. Emmett wasn't Peter's keeper, he wasn't his parent and he had no control over Peter's actions. I hated that he had to suffer unnecessary guilt because of this.

Rosalie drove like a bat out of hell and hauled me up to her room without having to stop to give explanations. I loved her room; it reminded me of the first night I'd come to live here. It felt like a million years ago now, but in reality it was a few short months. The only new addition was the pictures of our small group on every available surface. Her bed was huge just like mine, and she fell into the middle of it with a sigh.

"That was intense."

"Don't remind me." I fell down beside her and covered my eyes with my forearm.

"You realize Edward is going to kick his ass right?"

I groaned. There was no hiding this from Edward, or Leah or anyone really and I was just too tired to think about how blown out of proportion this would all get. Add to that the terror if Peter still showed up at school on Monday and you had my living and breathing worst nightmare.

"It's only because he wants to protect you," Rosalie said gently, patting the top of my head. "No need to get upset."

"It's not that. It's everything. What if Peter shows up on Monday? God, what about when Leah finds out? Things are going to get so complicated."

"Yeah well I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of Leah's wrath, but she's your best friend, you, her and Alice have become my girl world, so please, don't ask me to lie to her, she will beat it out of me."

"You won't have to. She'll know something's wrong the next time she talks to me. Don't ask me how she does it. I asked her once and she said I breathed funny."

Rosalie snorted and I took my arm from my eyes.

"Is it bad I just want this all to go away?"

"No, I get it," Rose answered thoughtfully. "But it needs to be addressed. It was lucky Emmett wanted to go to your house in the first place; he was worried about you after Edward said you'd insisted on staying there. Who knows what would have . . ."

"Oh no, please don't."

"Sorry."

"No, it's fine, I just. I can't think about that."

"I understand. Why don't we try and get some sleep? Maybe things will be a little easier to process if you're not so tired?"

"Maybe, I just . . ."

"Let's just lie down and talk then?"

I nodded and shifted to the side of the bed I would be sleeping on. It felt so weird to be lying down in a bed after everything that had happened and I had to fight to stop the panic from sending me into hyperventilation. I hated that I felt this way, that I was letting this affect me so deeply.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Rosalie asked, absently playing with the ends of my hair.

"Will you tell me how you and Emmett decided to become a couple?" I asked, turning my head to look at her.

"Really?"

"You've never said before. It was just one day you were holding hands and inseparable."

"We talked," she started, her fingers combing through my hair as she thought. "It started after you talked to him, which I told you not to, but was glad you did . . ."

Rosalie continued talking and playing with my hair. I tried to give her my full attention, but her fingers were tugging at a memory in the back of my mind. I must have been around eight. Leah and her family had gone to Astroworld in Houston for the weekend. I was invited but Renée had supposed to be coming to visit. The Clearwater's had only been gone for five hours when Renée called to say she couldn't make it.

I'd thrown a tempter tantrum and then broken down and cried, not because I had missed out on a weekend of fun, but because my mother hadn't wanted to see me. Mamére had known, like she always had in her wise way. I sat on the couch with her as she tried to tell me about my mother's free nature, but I couldn't listen because I was so hurt, instead I focused on her fingers combing through my hair, the strands tugging gently at my subconscious until I drifted into the inky darkness of sleep.

Hands clamping down on my ankle made me sit up screaming in terror.

Then I stopped.

The room was flooded with the muted light of the winter sun. If it hadn't been for the light I wouldn't have thought I'd slept at all, but I had, and now I'd managed to alert the entire house to my presence and wake Rosalie up at the same time.

"Shh, it's okay Bella it's just me. It's Rosalie."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"No it's fine. I was dozing anyway. Your dad called about an hour ago, and asked me to wake you up around noon so he could come get you."

"What time is it?"

Rosalie turned, her white blonde hair slapping me in the face as she checked.

"Eleven forty-five."

"I should probably take a shower. Should I go explain to your parents about the scream?"

"No need. They came in at ten this morning and asked if I wanted to go antiquing with them. I don't think my parents know me at all."

I laughed. It was a short genuine burst of laughter, but it didn't last long. "Thanks, Rose."

"What for?"

"Being here for me. Being my friend. Helping me sleep last night."

"Bella, you're one of my best friends. I said it last night and I will say it again and again every time you thank me, I am here whenever you need me."

I threw my arms around her and she reciprocated. Not saying a word. It was what I needed in that moment and she seemed to know it. I pulled back and grinned at her.

"Oh and Leah called. I dodged that bullet and let it go to voicemail."

Leah. I couldn't not tell her what was going on, but time was running out. Dad would be here with Izzy soon and I had to get ready. I should have called her last night but it had been after one in the morning when Rosalie and I had arrived here.

"I'll call her when I get home. That's going to be a conversation that will take more than thirty minutes."

"I figured. You go take a shower and I'll call Emmett and let him know what's going on."

"Is he okay?"

Rosalie offered me a sympathetic smile and patted me on the back gently. "He's fine, just worried about you. He feels responsible because you egged him to come home last night and he very nearly didn't."

"He can't blame himself."

"I already told him that. He knows but it doesn't change anything. Emmett is Emmett, you know that just as well as I do."

I nodded, but knew I would have to talk to him anyway. I wouldn't let him feel guilty for something he couldn't control.

~oOo~

Dad and Izzy showed up at exactly twelve-thirty and I was glad I was up early enough to take a shower.

With everything that had happened I had forgotten Izzy. Did she know? Had she been told? The look she gave me when I got in the car told me she'd been informed of everything. She looked . . . sorry?

"How are you feeling this morning, Bella?"

"Better thank you. I managed to get some sleep."

"Marcus came to get Peter last night but came back to get Pete's stuff, so we're vacating the house for a while. He and Tanya don't tend to agree on much."

"Who does agree with Tanya?" Izzy piped in.

"Izzy . . ."

"Please don't defend her dad. I heard what she said last night," Izzy turned around to look at me in the back seat. "I heard the commotion and was eavesdropping. Figured it was better to stay out of it. Tanya doesn't like hearing my thoughts on anything."

So that was how she knew. I guess I couldn't blame her for staying away. I don't think I would have wanted to  
walk in on that mess either.

"How the hell could she blame Bella? Peter has always creeped her out. Everyone knows that."

"Because she can't accept she's a bad mother," I snapped before I had time to stop myself.

Izzy threw her head back and laughed, but I could see the cringe in dad's face through the mirror.

"I'm sorry," I sighed. "I just can't forget what Emmett said last night. Do you really think Peter was on drugs?"

Izzy's laughter died immediately. Maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"Oh he was," dad said, his eyes flickering to the mirror. "I didn't need a drug test to tell me that. Marcus wasn't too happy either."

"Marcus?"

"Peter's dad."

"Is that why Tanya left him?"

Izzy laughed bitterly and turned in her seat so she could see me. "No. She left because he was broke. She's a money grabbing whore who uses sex and her children to trap men."

"Elizabeth Cullen."

"What? It's the truth."

Dad sighed. The sound was morose and filled with frustration. Izzy seemed to know she'd crossed the line so she sat back in her chair and maintained her silence. It felt strange to be going to lunch after everything that had happened. Izzy didn't even seem bothered by it all. I wasn't sure if that was because this was another step in the direction of getting rid of Tanya, or she really just didn't care. I couldn't get a read on her.

The silence we'd accomplished in the car seemed to follow us into the restaurant. The only word any of us spoke was to order. It felt oddly detached from realty, like a bad dream that wouldn't go away. It hung unspoken between us. I knew Izzy had questions. That was obvious after she slid down in her chair and watched every move I made.

"Doctor Cullen," a voice said from behind me. "How very nice to see you again. You probably don't remember me but . . ."

"No, Mrs. Dupont, how could I forget you?" Dad offered with a warm smile. "How is Sophia, she must be going on thirteen now?"

I could see why he had such a good reputation. Seeing him talking to someone he had probably only operated on once and he still knew her name. I didn't think there were many doctors out there who could do that anymore.

"Are these your girls? Their positively beautiful."

Dad beamed, his pride swelled his chest and brought out the smile I had missed these past couple of weeks. He nodded happily and launched into the story of how I was found, when I was never really lost.

"He was high on Cocaine, and he'd taken an acid tab. He should be dead."

"What?" I asked turning from the conversation dad was having.

"Peter, he was mixing his narcotics."

"Please, don't say his name right now."

"Oh don't be such a fucking drama queen Bella," Izzy hissed under her voice, leaning forward with a plastic smile in place. "You were a game to him, one he was determined to win. He doesn't seem to like the word no. How do you think he and I ended up . . ."

"Stop it," I hissed through my teeth, my head turning so we were almost nose-to-nose. "He came into my room while I was sleeping, he tried to force himself on me when I very clearly said no. Did he do _that_ to you?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Bella. He was trying to get back at me."

"You're so sick."

"Whatever you say sister dearest."

"Oh they're so sweet together," Mrs. Dupont crowed from behind me, pulling both Izzy and I out of our stare down.

"Thank you," dad smiled, placing his hand on my shoulder. His smile faltered as he realized how shaky I was. My whole body was trembling under his hand as the anger coursed through my body. I didn't care about the reasoning behind Peter's actions; I didn't care who he thought I was or what he was trying to prove. He did what he did, and he wouldn't have stopped. I was the one haunted by the look in his eyes. I was the one with the nightmares.

Dad politely excused himself from the conversation with Mrs. Dupont and said his goodbyes. The moment she was out of earshot he crouched down beside me at the table and took my hand in his.

"Bella, are you okay? You're shaking."

"I'm fine, I don't think I got as much sleep as I thought I did," I lied, offering a weak smile. What I wanted was to get away from everyone. I wanted to see Edward. Since everything had happened it felt like it had been days rather one that I had seen him. I craved the safety I felt when I was with him. I knew that something was wrong not feeling safe around my dad, and I felt guilty about it, but up until yesterday he'd been flat out drunk and ignoring everything going on around him. He would have never heard my scream last night.

I somehow managed to make it through lunch, although I couldn't really say I'd eaten much. I succeeded in pushing the food around my plate, as Izzy inhaled her food next to me. She even went as far as to order desert while chatting happily at dad.

I should have been hurt by Izzy's words earlier, I should have been angry, but it was classic Izzy. A reaction was exactly what she wanted. Her convoluted mind probably believed I had been trying to steal Peter from her. I hadn't trusted her, even when things were great, so this really didn't feel like the betrayal it should have.

Dad's mood was lighter since his run in with Mrs. Dupont. In some way the validation of his little family had pleased him. I think it was the first time the three of us had been out alone and I couldn't even concentrate on the progress we'd made since I had arrived.

"Whose car is that?" Izzy asked, leaning forward and eyeing the white car that had an emblem that looked like a trident on the front.

"What kind of car is that?" I asked.

"It's a Maserati, and it's Marcus'."

Dad threw the car in park and got out, holding his hand up to stop us from following. "Girls, stay here."

"You're kidding right?"

"Izzy, now is not the time to . . ."

"If you seriously want away from the bitch, you kids walking in on this would be great in court."

"Stop it, Elizabeth."

Izzy rolled her eyes, her hands planting on her hips. I stepped up next to her and watched dad make his way toward the house on his own.

"We're not staying here, are we?" I said quietly, already knowing the answer.

"You can do what you want," Izzy snapped marching forward. "But I know her, No one's home, what do you think she's doing?"

I stayed on the spot. Did I follow? Did I get in my car and go to Edward's?

Izzy threw a look back at me with her eyebrows raised in question, and against my better judgment, I followed.

We caught up with dad quickly, staying behind him and taking off our shoes as we entered the house. I don't even think he realized we were there as he made his way to the front of the house. We got to the bottom of the stairs quickly, but a breathy sound flowed from the living room giving away the locale of our wicked stepmother and her ex-husband.

Izzy was the first to make a move, spinning on her heel and tiptoeing toward the door, I followed next, wondering what the hell I was doing. The moment I reached the entrance to the room I froze. Tanya was on her knees on the couch, her dress up around her waist as the guy behind her kept working.

The silence of the room ensured we heard exactly what they were doing.

It was like a car wreck; you couldn't look away if you wanted to. I knew what Izzy saw, a way out from having to live with this monster. I knew what dad saw, his wife blatantly cheating on him in his own living room. I didn't know what I saw. Was it simply sex? Raw and brutal. Or was it this woman literally throwing away the lifestyle she'd always wanted for a quick fuck with her ex?

"What a whore. I told you daddy, I told you she was a whore."

The room suddenly shifted as the two on the couch jumped into action. You could almost see Tanya's mind working and failing to come up with an excuse. The man she was with, the man that had Emmett's build and Peter's nose, simply smirked.

"Get the fuck out of my house and take her with you," dad growled from behind me.

"Carlisle," Tanya implored, her dress falling down and covering her up. "Please, I . . ."

"I said get the fuck out of my house. You will be hearing from my lawyer in the morning."

Marcus McCarty stepped forward, but instinctively Izzy and I stepped in front of our dad. Marcus laughed, his eyes moving over the two of us.

"At least it makes sense now," Marcus drawled, his thick southern accent rolling from his tongue with ease.

"Get the fuck out. NOW."

Izzy smirked at Tanya but held her tongue as the two made their way to the door.

"I'm going to get some of my . . ."

"No, you're leaving with nothing, exactly the way you came into this marriage," Dad snapped uncharacteristically.

Tanya didn't argue she followed her ex-husband out of the house without looking back once.

* * *

**A/N: Ding Dong the Witch is dead, the mean old witch, the wicked witch, ding dong the wicked with is Dead! Yes, I believe we just saw Tanya get that boot out of the house and was told do not pass go! Do not collect $200, just Leave ya hoe! _Ahem_ Sorry!**

**It seems Izzy hasn't lost her touch or her snark!**

**Thanks to Annabanana, my wonderful beta, she's been having web problems, so I will re-upload when I get the beta'd version! I apologize for the many Punctuation and Grammar mistakes ;)**

**Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic! I love you guys and I am so glad we're friends. I am honored to have you guys in my life, even if you do slap me upside the head and tell me when I am being a moron!**

**Thank you to everyone who reviews. You guys keep me smiling and your thoughts and reactions always keep me on my toes. I know I say this every week but you guys are awesome and I love you! And I seriously think your the best reviewers/readers on this site! SO thank you for sticking with me! Only 7 more to go!**

**Much love and huge hugs ~Weezy~  
**


	39. Calm in the Chaos

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some subtle plot points in the beginning were inspired by V.C. Andrews the song and lyrics belong to the respective band and their record label and the rest is from my strange mind. Happy Tuesday!  
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**Calm in the Chaos**

_I can't focus, when I'm near you.  
Do you notice, me at all?  
I can't focus, when I hear you.  
Do you notice, that I can't focus?  
**Focus by 10 Years**_

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Things had been relatively nice since Tanya had left, or more to the point, been forced out. It had only been a week, but things were finally falling into a routine. Dad was finally going back to work. Izzy was still Izzy, but she still hadn't reverted back to the constant torture of our earlier days. We even got to keep Emmett.

He was the one thing I'd been worried about after the scene in the living room. When Izzy had finally gone to her room and dad had disappeared into his to "pack up Tanya's shit" as he put it. I started blowing up Emmett's phone.

I knew he'd probably met up with Rosalie after I left that morning and I felt bad for interrupting, but he needed to know what was going on.

When I finally managed to get a hold of him, he came straight to the house and spoke with dad, who'd been more than happy to let him stay with us. Thankfully he was already eighteen, so Tanya couldn't have forced him to leave if she'd wanted to.

Then came the dreaded phone calls to Leah and Edward. I'd neglected telling them what had happened for as long as I could, and I knew I had to tell them before someone else did.

Leah was about ready to drive into the city and hunt down Peter herself, with Seth and Jacob close on her heels, but I quashed that fire before it even caught. I had promised her she had free rein if she ever happened to bump into him again, and then launched into the story of catching Tanya at it in the living room, which thankfully distracted her. She found it hilarious and promised to come stay soon so we could help dad eradicate the house of her belongings.

Then I had to call Edward.

He'd come around immediately and sat with me in my room. Both of us perched on the edge of the bed as I explained what had happened that night. I was horrified about explaining why I was even in my underwear and how deeply I had been sleeping, but he was understanding. He spoke through his teeth the entire conversation, and when I burst into tears thinking he was angry with me, he finally relaxed.

We hadn't spent much time apart since.

Dad thought I spent most nights at Rosalie's because of what happened, but in truth I was at Edward's. I just couldn't sleep in that bed. I tried one night—and Edward had stayed with me—but I lay awake in the darkness, my heart thumping painfully in my chest as I waited for something that wasn't going to happen.

"I'm going to make you breakfast while you're in the shower," Edward declared, pulling me out of my thoughts as he rolled onto his side so he could see me. Thankfully, his parents knew I was here now so they tried to stay out of his room as often as possible. They were worried about why I spent so much time here like most parents would be, but they were also resigned to the fact. I guess having a son was easier than having a daughter in that respect. Thankfully though, they'd left this morning on another one of their elaborate vacations.

"Oh yeah, and what are you going to make me?" I asked, my fingers trailing down his jaw.

"Something to chase away those dreams, I hope."

"Oh God," I sighed, covering my face with my hands. I'd been having nightmares since the night Peter ended up in my room. They were always the same. The cold hands, the dead eyes, the ache in my wrists. "How bad was it?"

He smiled at me as I peeked through my fingers, so I knew it was bad.

"I'm so sorry. I'll stay at my house tonight so you can get some sleep."

"No, you don't have to do that. I just wish you'd talk to me. Tell me what's going on. You're so terrified."

After our discussion about what Peter had done, I hadn't brought it up again. In a way I think he knew that's what the problem was, but at the same time he seemed to know better than to bring up Peter's name. He was patiently waiting for me to broach the subject, to confess that the dream revolved around the most haunting night of my life. The most I ever offered was . . .

"You already know."

"I wish you'd talk about it. Bottling it all up in your head only seems to make your dreams worse."

I snuggled into his chest and listened to him breathing. I tried to think of what to say, how to comment on his observation. I knew he was right, I knew keeping it inside was hurting me, but I couldn't bring myself to talk about it, especially not with him. He didn't need to know what I saw and felt in those dreams.

"That's a no?"

"Not yet."

His arms closed around me slowly and held me to him. He was so much more understanding than he needed to be and I never believed he could ever be so patient. I just hoped he understood.

"Right," he said, rolling away from me with a smile. "You, in the shower. I will go make us breakfast."

"Do we have to?"

"You wanna be late for school?"

"Yes," I laughed, holding my arms out for him.

"Yeah and they will call your dad and what will you do then?"

"Ugh, do you have to be so responsible?"

"If it means keeping you close—yes."

"Smartass."

Edward threw his head back and made his way to the door, he stopped with his hand on the handle and looked back at me with the smirk I'd once considered arrogant. "If you're still in bed when I get back. You're getting the cold water treatment."

"What's that?"

"You don't want to know." Then he was gone.

I fell back on the bed with a sigh and tried to rid myself of the dream's residuals. I hated that they affected me the way they did. I'd sink so low under the surface that I couldn't find my way out. The first couple of times it had happened I'd woken up screaming in a cold sweat, my clothes plastered to my body and my breathing labored from the struggling. That I could handle, these new dreams, where I was trapped and screamed for release, seemed to be on an endless cycle, restarting when my heart hammered in my chest and my screams became trapped in my throat.

The first time it had happened, Edward hadn't said a word. I only knew after the second night when he asked me about "them". I hated that this was disturbing him, I hated that I couldn't rid myself of them. I just wanted it to be over, forgotten, put behind me, but instead it lingered.

Just thinking about it all made my head pound. I hadn't slept properly since it had happened and I was exhausted. The fatigue seemed to create a haze around my brain that got worse as the days went on.

Resigned to the fact I was going to have to get up, I rolled out of bed and stumbled toward the bathroom, hoping that a hot shower would wake me up.

~oOo~

The day moved by too slowly, what felt like an hour was, in fact, only minutes. I had sat through three classes, each of them droning on like an eternity. Jasper practically had to guide me from room to room because my head just refused to focus on anything other than the weight of my eyelids.

"You okay, Bella?" Jasper asked, depositing me in my chair before sliding in to his own. He rubbed my back gently as he waited for an answer, but it only seemed to make my focus slip more than it already was.

"Good," I mumbled, pushing my books further up the desk and laying my head on my now folded arms. "Just tired."

"I can tell."

I moved my head to the side, my ears feeling cold where I laid them against my warm arms. I could see his concern written in his expression, and I couldn't help but frown. "What do you mean?"

"Bella, you have duffel bags under your eyes, you're pale and chalky, and honestly, you look high a lot of the time."

"Thanks Jazz, I love you too. You're also starting to sound like Sue."

Jasper chuckled and resumed the rubbing on my back. "Emmett told us; I know you didn't want him to say anything to anyone else, but Alice and I were getting worried. He thought it was best to say something before we tried to stage an intervention."

I buried my head in my arms and groaned. I didn't want to talk about this now, not ever really. I just wanted it to go away.

"I think you also need to know what Alice overheard."

"Ok," I said, the sound muffled by my arms. "I'll bite. What did Alice overhear?"

"Peter's coming back to school."

I sat upright, almost sliding out of my chair completely before Jasper caught me. He looked around to make sure no one else saw while I had a mini panic attack.

I knew I would have to see him again at some point, I also liked to believe he would never do anything like that sober, but I couldn't get past what happened enough to actually believe that yet. I needed more time. I needed a lot more time before I had to see him again.

"I just wanted you to know so you didn't bump into him and get surprised. We won't leave you alone, Bella. I promise you, we won't leave you alone."

My head swirled with the news and I resumed my position on the table. It wasn't fatigue this time though; it was dizziness. My head was like a carnival ride, swirling and spinning, leaving streaks of brightly colored tracers in its wake.

"Bella?"

"I'm fine, Jasper."

"I'm sorry, I just thought it was best you knew."

"It is, thank you. I just didn't expect it. I'm fine." Just the thought of not being prepared and stumbling into him made me break out in a cold sweat. I had to go back home and talk to my dad. I had to let him know that Peter would be in school soon. I had to prepare him for the freak-out I knew was coming.

"Quiet down," the teacher said, bumbling into the room. "Get your books out and turn them to page one-seventy-five."

I didn't move, I couldn't. I was weighed down by my fear. The feeling of ice forming down my vertebrae was so familiar and yet so foreign it trapped me in my own skin. I could feel eyes on me, the same eyes I had been feeling for months. I lifted my head to look around the room, but I was the only one in it.

Why would Jasper leave me here? Had I fallen asleep and class ended? If that was what happened he would have woken me up. Wouldn't he? I looked to the small window on the door and saw the empty eyes that had haunted my nightmares all these nights.

Panicked, I slid from my chair and backed away from them, my hands gripping the edges of the desks I passed until my back was pressed against the cool wall. The room felt as though it was closing in around me and the eyes closed in, the face they belonged to filling in around them. A maniacal laugh fell from his lips but I couldn't hear it, there was only silence and my body's reactions to seeing his face.

"Mine," a voice whispered by my ear. I turned my head and saw him crouched next to me, his hand reaching out until the cold feeling of it touched my flesh, and I screamed.

The sound of my scream cut off as I fell from my chair and hit my head on the corner of the desk, the room was full again and Jasper's concerned glance was trained solely on me as everyone else in the room seemed to giggle or snicker. Without a thought I pushed to my feet and ran, ignoring the calls of the teacher and Jasper, barely catching the "Sit down, Mr. Whitlock," that followed me out of the room.

It was all a dream but that feeling of eyes on me remained my constant companion as I ran down the halls, stumbling over my own feet and bouncing from the walls and lockers lining the corridor. I couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, but I knew I was awake. The humiliation of waking up screaming in the classroom was so great I knew it had to be real.

I darted around the corner and whimpered as I saw Peter's shocked face at the end of the hall. This was real, there was no longer the empty glare from his eyes, there was emotion there. Real live emotion, and it terrified me.

"Bella?"

I backed away, but tripped over my own feet and landed on my ass, yelping in pain. This was real. This was too real; I could feel the pain riding up my spine and echoing around my head as I tried to scramble to my feet. Peter stepped forward, the shock melting into concern. I finally found purchase on the linoleum; my heels, no longer slipping, gained traction that propelled me forward away from Peter.

Sobs were like breaths as they poured from my mouth. They made me light headed and clumsier than I already was. I came to the corner ahead of me and slid to a stop, my feet sliding as I tried to move forward.

"Bella, baby?"

My eyes lifted from the ground that I was begging to become more stable and found the emerald green eyes that were so filled with concern it made my heart ache.

"Edward," I sobbed, falling into his arms as he jogged toward me. "He's here. He's right there."

"Who, baby?"

"Peter."

Edward straightened out immediately, his body pressed so closely to mine we could have been one. He stepped around the corner, his eyes narrowed in anger.

"God dammit."

I looked up to see the back of Peter as he walked away beside his father. He didn't look back once, his casual gait showing how at ease he really was. The same couldn't be said for me, I was a mess, trembling from head to toe, my head burrowed into Edward's shirt while my fingers clung to the material for dear life.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I should have told you. Jasper called me and said you freaked out, I didn't know he was here. I'm sorry."

I broke down in Edward's arms. There was nothing stopping the tumultuous sobs that wracked my body; everything I had been repressing bled from me without saying a word. I knew I should voice my fears and concerns, I knew I should tell him everything that was going on, but I couldn't do any of that because I didn't want to burden him with my problems. I was terrified of scaring him away.

"Bella, I'm worried about you."

"I . . . I'm ok, I just need more time, I just need . . ."

"You need to talk to someone," he finished for me. "Even if it's not me, you need to get it out of you."

"I can't."

"Yes. You can. Do you trust me?"

I frowned against his chest and pulled back to look at him. He should know I trusted him, he should know that he was the only one I felt safe with. Did he doubt me?

"I'm going to take you to the school counselor."

Oh. That's what he'd meant. It wasn't an accusation–it was a plea. He was asking me to trust his judgment. I did, I just didn't see how talking to a stranger would help.

"Edward, I don't . . ."

"Just talk to her once. If you're not comfortable—if you can't talk to her—you don't have to go again. Just once. That's all I'm asking," he begged, pulling me closer into his chest. "I feel so helpless."

Could I go into a room with a complete stranger and look at her objectively? I wasn't sure I had it in me to do it, but Edward's confession of feeling helpless had pushed out a brick in the defense wall that surrounded me. I had to do this. Even if I wasn't comfortable, I had to do this at least once for his peace of mind.

He'd been nothing but patient with me for the last week, holding me when I woke up screaming. Talking me down when my breathing was so rapid it burned in my chest. He even seemed to swallow my refusal to speak with an air of support. I just didn't want him to know that Peter's attack haunted me; I didn't want him to know that it was in the back of my mind while we were together. I felt as though it was a betrayal of sorts.

"Ok," I whispered, pushing up on my toes and kissing his neck. "I'll talk to her."

Edward's arms disappeared from around my waist. His hands moved to my jaw and cradled my head as his lips brushed against mine. "Thank you."

I nodded and gave him a weak smile. "When?"

"Now?"

I wanted to argue and pull away. I wanted to run, but I couldn't. I had to remind myself why I was doing this. Who I was doing this for. I nodded my acquiescence and the relief in Edward's eyes almost left me breathless. He'd been more worried than he'd let on. His hand moved to hook around my neck and pull me against his body again and I welcomed the heat and strength of him against me. I was going to need all the help I could get to do this without freaking out.

He walked me to the office after he finally released me from our embrace. Hand in hand, we made our way through the deserted corridors, but even as empty as they seemed, even with Edward by my side, I couldn't help that icy feeling from running down my spine.

Had I been alone, I would have looked for the source as I always did, but I didn't want Edward to worry more than he already was—and I was terrified I would find Peter staring at me apologetically again. It was almost worse than that empty stare.

Edward knocked on the door with the name plaque and title and opened it when a soft voice granted him access.

"Miss Evenson, I was wondering if you had time for Bella now? She had an incident in class."

"Of course, Edward. Please introduce me."

My eyes found Edward's apologetic glance before he tugged me to him and stepped inside the office. "Bella, this is Miss Evenson—" he started but was cut off by the elegant woman occupying the room.

"What have I said about that, Edward?" She smiled kindly. "My name is Esme. Bella, it's lovely to meet you."

"Sorry, yeah," Edward mumbled uncomfortably and nudged me forward with raised eyebrows.

"It's nice to meet you too, Esme," I offered timidly.

"I have to get back to class, Jasper has your things, I'll get them for you."

I could only imagine how my eyes looked as he caught them. Doe in the headlights wasn't even a consideration; I would be more inclined to go with Laurie Strode facing Michael Meyers. He squeezed the hand he was still holding and pressed his lips to my forehead before stepping back and out of the room completely.

I didn't want to let go, I didn't want to break the connection I had with his eyes, but he pulled the door closed behind him, severing the tie brutally. An involuntary shiver slid down my spine and rocked my body. I wasn't comfortable. I had tried and now I was finished.

"Bella," Esme's soft voice said from closer than she had been. "Won't you take a seat? You don't have to talk if you don't want to; maybe we could just get to know one another so you feel more comfortable."

I looked at her—I couldn't help myself. Her maternal nature seemed to scream calm; it was like a source of comfort pulling me in. Her features, soft and natural seemed to do the same, and I couldn't stop myself from nodding. Her beautiful hazel eyes were imploring as she pushed the honey colored curls behind her ears and made a move to the plush armchairs she had.

"Maybe I should start by introducing myself," she said, sliding into the chair and arranging her skirt. "I'm Esme Evenson. I've been at this school as counselor for almost two years."

She was trying to make me feel relaxed. Ease my trepidation.

It was working.

"Edward came in earlier this morning and spoke to me. He didn't tell me anything other than he thought you needed someone to talk to. He's been worried about you."

"He didn't tell you what happened?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"No, he didn't want to speak for you. He seems like a very good friend to have."

"He is."

"Do you want to tell me what happened? Nothing will go beyond this room. I'm just here to listen, not judge or comment. Sometimes it's easier to say it out loud and get it out of your system."

"I don't think I can."

"Well, that's okay. Maybe you want to talk about something else? Your school file says you transferred here just after the summer. That must have been hard—you were at the other district since you started."

"It wasn't too bad," I said, unable to stop myself. Her eager smile and lilting voice seemed to encourage me to speak rather than sit in silence like I'd hoped to do. "I had my step-brother Emmett. He introduced me to his friends before school started."

"That's always a good thing. It says you have a twin too."

"She hates me."

Esme's eyebrows lifted a little in surprise but she corrected herself quickly. Her questions continued to encourage my inane chatter; she was actually easy to talk to and didn't seem to have the stuffy air that I seemed to attribute to most counselors. We talked for a while. Me spilling everything that I had been trying to hide, and her listening attentively.

It was only when she commented on how tired I looked when I yawned that I finally froze up. I still wasn't ready for that conversation; I didn't know if I could talk about it as easily as I had everything else. She questioned me, circling around the topic, looking for something to trigger my hold on my fears, but I kept them close.

"You must be starving. I didn't mean to keep you from your classes for so long."

"I missed two classes?"

Esme laughed gently, the sound like small bells chiming. "Yes, but I will talk to your teachers and let them know where you were."

"Thank you."

"Of course. Will you come back and see me again?"

"I think I would like that," I confessed, offering her a smile. "And thank you for listening to me. I'm sorry I couldn't . . ."

"No apologies necessary. You'll tell me when you're ready and not a minute before."

I had the need to hug her, but I knew that was just going to make the situation awkward.

"Thanks again, Esme."

"You're welcome, Bella. I hope to see you soon."

"You will," I whispered, turning and opening the door.

I wasn't lying either. I may not have gotten down to the topic at hand, but some of my other worries and fears had come out and I finally felt better about them. Just knowing that someone had heard them, even if she could do nothing about it, made me feel better. I had finally let down a little of the wall I'd built and trusted Esme with things I couldn't tell anyone else. I just hoped my trust was well placed.

"Bella!" Edward grinned at me from where he leaned against the wall opposite the room. "I figured you'd still be here. How mad at me are you?"

"I'm not." I smirked, skipping into his arms and rolling onto my toes to kiss him. "In fact, thank you. Esme's lovely; I would never have gone to her on my own."

"I know," he chastised, touching the tip of my nose with his index finger. "That's why I did it."

"Hey, Bella," Jasper called, loping down the hall toward us through the bodies that were filing out of the classrooms. "What the hell do you have in your bag? It weighs a ton."

"That would be telling," I teased, reaching out my hand to take the bag as he stopped beside us. "And you look very masculine with a bag like that."

"Oh shut it, you," he chortled, letting go of the weight and leaning against the wall beside Edward. "The things I do for my girls."

"Your girls?" Edward snorted, elbowing him playfully.

"My boys too," Jasper sighed with exaggeration, his lips curling into his signature smile.

The rest of the day went by in a blur; my exhaustion was the only thing hindering me after my talk with Esme. I may not have talked out what had happened with Peter, but at least I wasn't loaded down with everything that had been bothering me. It was a brief respite from my own mind, but I was willing to take it. I needed it.

By the time we got to Edward's house, I was ready to lie down and sleep for a solid week.

"Why don't you take a bath and relax? My mom and Dad left this morning for Rio; you could use her garden tub. I'll order us some food."

I could have said 'I love you' to him in that moment. It was on the tip of my tongue. I knew I meant it with every breath in my body and each fluttered heartbeat in my chest, but I was still so scared of chasing him away. So afraid it was just too soon.

"You are the best boyfriend ever."

He chuckled at me, his fingers brushing the line of my jaw before he leaned in to press his lips to mine. His lips, soft against mine, made my toes curl and my breathing stutter. I didn't think I would ever get used to this. He was everything; he consumed me when he was this close. I always wanted more, and it was never enough.

My eyes stayed closed long after his lips left mine. His fingers brushed my hair back from my face, staring at the temples and working down to the ends. "Did you fall asleep standing up?"

"No, just basking in the afterglow of that kiss."

"You should have said." His lips pressed against mine again with more fervor, his tongue sweeping against my bottom lip so I would let him in. Who was I to say no?

His hands pressed into my back and my body bowed against his, my arms tangled around his neck where my fingers found the soft mass of copper hair at the nape of his neck. I would never get enough of this. He was again the first to pull away, our breaths mingling in the small space between us.

"Come on, let's go run that bath for you."

"You just want to see me naked and wet."

There was a beat.

Then I blushed, and Edward laughed.

"I would say that's accurate," he teased. "I also want to see you relax."

"Uh huh, sure," I goaded back with a grin of my own. I wiggled in his arms and pushed him away playfully. "Go order dinner. I'm gonna soak in the tub."

Edward's smile lit up like the fourth of July. His green eyes seemed to glow in the dimming light of the afternoon. His smile, ever lopsided, was present and accounted for—it also made my heart melt.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" he crowed, spinning me around and slapping my ass. "Don't let me keep ya."

I shook my head but made my way to the master bedroom regardless. I'd only been in here a couple times, and both were by invite from Edward's mom. She'd told me about her bathtub while we were discussing spas and she'd insisted that I should try out her tub.

It felt weird to be in here when she wasn't. It felt even stranger to be having a bath in my boyfriend's parent's bathroom, but then it wasn't as though my life was particularly normal and I really hadn't had many boyfriends either.

The steam filled the room as I let the water pour over the stainless ledge of the faucet. The spotlights in the bathroom caught the vapors dancing in the beams as they lifted from the water and clung to the surface. The muggy heat reminded me of the summer as I closed my eyes and drank it in. The best thing about the spa tub was keeping the water flowing to get constant heat. The magnanimous jets pushed the water against my body, making me relax almost too much into the huge bath. This was heaven.

I closed my eyes and let my head rest against the toweled pillow I had made for myself. My arms spread out around the rim of the tub. I smiled gently as I felt fingers at my wrist and fought the urge to open my eyes.

"You look delectable," Edward crooned, his voice a whisper on his breath as it danced across my damp skin. I could hear the smile in his voice as he whispered the rest. It was a double entendre and I was fully aware of it. "Dinner's ready."

I still didn't open my eyes; I just concentrated on the feel of his skin against mine as he explored it. I shuddered as he hit the spot inside my elbow; the feeling was a heated tickle that left me wanting more. I felt him move to the head of the tub, his free hand giving my other arm the same treatment. Fingers turned to palms as they reached my shoulders, his thumbs pushing gently into the flesh at the back of my neck and rubbing circles that relaxed my shoulders.

"How's the water?" he breathed, his lips brushing my neck, making my head tilt to the side.

"Mmmm." It was the only reply I could offer in the sensory overload.

His hands worked over my shoulders and down my sides until his thumbs brushed against my nipples. "Can I get in?"

I nodded, gasping as his fingers and thumbs rolled the flesh between them. I could never say no to him, I never wanted to say no to him. I whined as his hands disappeared and let my eyes flicker open to watch him undress. He was magnificent. It was the only word to describe his body.

My fingers reached out and ran over his abs, the smooth skin, soft to the touch, heated and warm under my hands. His stomach muscles flexed and released at my touch, making my hunger for him grow.

He stepped into the water and sank slowly until he sat facing me, his eyes alive and vibrant in the lighting. His arms, long and muscled, pulled me to him. We sat like that for a while, our bodies together, our legs wrapped around the other. We kissed as our hands explored each other's body; we pinched and nipped, stroked and petted. It was the most sensual experience of my life. One I would remember for the rest of my life.

"I want you," Edward groaned gently, his hands dipping under the rippling surface of the water and pulling my body closer.

"I'm yours."

Edward mumbled something under his breath before pushing his lips to mine in a heated kiss. He was everywhere, his taut body pushing against mine as his fingers found their way into me. My body exploded with his touch, excitement and pain of wanting him ebbing through my blood like it was my very reason for living. He lifted me gently, pulling until I was hovering over his length. One gentle movement and he and I would be connected.

My mind, a muddled mess of want and desire, flickered with realization. We couldn't do this here.

"Babe," I mewed around his lips, my voice full of regret because I wanted this so badly.

He pulled away, the green so dark with hunger they hypnotized me.

"We can't here," I groaned as my body trembled. My brain was fighting the lucidity, desperate to take what it wanted. "No protection."

"Fuck."

"I know," I whispered, pressing my lips against his bare shoulder.

Edward moved me back and sat me down in the cooling water. He kissed me once before slapping at the switch for the bath jets; the water fell silent around us.

"Time for bed," he smirked, reaching behind him. The water started to empty slowly, gurgling and sputtering down the drain. He pushed to his knees and stood up, offering me his hand as he did.

Knowing this wasn't over made me react quickly. I pulled a towel around myself and threw one at him before hightailing it to his room, leaving him behind me. I felt needy in my lust filled haze; I wanted to finish what we started. My need for him was like an ache, a pain that took hold of me.

The moment I got to the room he tackled me from behind, spinning and falling onto his back, bouncing us both so we groaned. The excitement and need swirled around in my body as I rolled from him, reaching for the drawer that held our salvation.

Edward pushed me easily so I was on my back again, his knees between mine as he reached and pulled open the drawer. There was no indication it closed, his hands fumbled opening the foil square so he could protect us both.

"I'm sorry," he groaned, looking down at me when he was ready.

"For what?"

"I can't wait." He pushed into me, sheathing himself with my body until I arched from the bed at the feel of him. Expletives fell from his mouth like a summer rainstorm. He pulled back slowly but filled me again, making both of us groan in delight.

My body felt so alive when I was with him like this. Currents of need and want filled my pores until they spilled out over my body. The heat and the glorious friction making beads of sweat form in the cool air—making my skin pebble.

He rocked into me but found my lips as he also found his momentum. Push and pull, fingers digging into flesh, the need. All of it built up inside me as we moved together. Throaty breaths and mumbles of his name filled the mouth that was covering my own.

I knew when he was close. I always knew. He pulled back, his hands finding my hips as he pushed deeper and angled my body to move with him. I was so close my body trembled around him. My legs hooked over his waist and I immersed myself in him as I fell over the edge. Edward grunted and rocked stiffly into me, the muscles in his neck straining as he came.

"Edward." _I love you_, I finished in my head. My body arching and teeth impaling my bottom lip.

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**A/N: Poor Bella, Peter may have been removed from her home life, but he still haunts her dreams and now he's coming back to school! Can't be a good thing! At least Bella got to keep Emmett though! I know a few of you were worried about that, but I couldn't do that to Bella, he's part of her support system. And yay, Esme finally showed up lol ;)**

**Sorry about how late the RR's were, Hev99 and Newmoonahloic came to visit me and I don't think I spent much time in the vicinity of a computer ;)**

**I would love to say a huge Thank you to my Beta, Annabanana, it's been a crazy week as some of you have probably discovered in my poor, and late, replies. I got this chapter to her super late and she still got it to me on time! She's awesome like that!**

**As always a huge thank you to my hand holders and side of the head slappers, Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic. Like I mentioned Hev and NMA came to visit me so they caught up on a couple years/months worth of abuse lol!**

**As always, thank you to all of you who review. I know I was a crappy responder this week, in time and content, but I'm back on top of things :) . . . I love you guys and you always keep me smiling with your thoughts and comments! You are all awesome! I will say it again! I have the best readers on this site! BAR NONE!**

**Much love and epic hugs ~Weezy~**


	40. Forsaken

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some subtle plot points in the beginning were inspired by V.C. Andrews the song and lyrics belong to the respective band and their record label and the rest is from my strange mind. Happy Tuesday!  
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**Forsaken**

_My hands are trembling  
And my eyes are on fire  
This house is crumbling  
Left brain, left out, on the wire  
**Monuments and Melodies by Incubus**_

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"Hey kiddo," Dad smiled as he greeted me at the door. I was surprised to see him here. He' been attempting to make up for lost time at the hospital, and even with his lighter case load it was time consuming.

"Hey pops," I grinned kissing him on the cheek. "You're home early."

I slid up on the stool in the kitchen and picked a chip from his sandwich plate.

"I just came to grab something for dinner and I was also waiting for you actually," he said, slapping my hand away playfully. "I have a surprise for you."

"Uh oh," I teased.

I had been in a good mood for days thanks to Edward. Even school went by a little quicker these days. I had been sleeping like the dead the night most nights and when I woke up Edward was always triumphant about my lack of screaming. If I was being honest, I think it had a lot to do with Esme as well. It was easier to process something when nothing else was weighing you down.

I had seen her a couple more times since Edward had introduced us, and it was getting easier to talk to her about things. She really was someone I could trust. I had finally told her about the nightmares and the trigger on my third visit. I had that same creepy feeling of being watched, and confessed everything to her after I fell into her office. She asked me what I thought the feeling was, and whether the school should be on alert, but I dismissed it as being residual of the situation with Peter. Esme seemed to accept my explanation, making me promise to see her if I thought there was a chance I was wrong.

I knew it was against her better judgment than to let me walk away without any other kind of precaution, without checking the situation to see if there was any substance behind my feelings, but I assured her I was fine and once again promised to come to her if I ever felt I was in danger.

"Don't sound so excited," dad chortled, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Don't make it sound so ominous then," I added petulantly.

Dad leaned back his head and laughed, the relief in his eyes was evident. Without Tanya in our lives he seemed to be making quite the recovery. I think I could even say he seemed carefree. In fact, everyone was cordial to the point it could be considered getting along. There was less animosity and hostility, even Izzy was more reluctant than usual to start a fight.

"I've missed you around the house."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just don't think I can go in there without . . ."

"You don't have to anymore," Dad said filling in the space of the words I couldn't bare to say.

"What are you talking about?"

"I think we have a solution. I know how hard it is for you to go in that room after what happened in there. I've been working with an interior designer to get your new room ready for you. Emmett made a couple of suggestions and I think now we have a resolution."

"What are you saying?"

"You have a new room."

"Are you serious?"

Dad grinned and nodded at the keys in front of me again. I could see his proud smile waiting for me to take the bait and ask where I was going, but I was too stunned to do anything but sit and look at the keys.

"I . . . I don't know what to say."

"Nothing yet, you haven't seen it," he goaded, nodding at the keys again. "Why don't you go check it out?"

I could feel my lips curling into the smile I knew he'd been waiting for.

"Okay, where am I looking?"

Dad's grin turned into a full-blown smile now I was biting. He lifted his hand and pointed to the backyard, his eyebrows high on his forehead, waiting for me to connect the dots.

"Are you saying?"

He nodded and waited for me to do anything. I sucked in a breath and hopped from my stool, running to the back door and through it in a blink. I finally released the breath outside the pool house as I slid the key into the lock and turned it. My excitement was palpable as I stepped inside. The small house was transformed from what it had been when Emmett had been let loose. The air was more feminine, earthy tones filled the area, from the deep, overstuffed couch, to the canopy bed I could see in the master bedroom. Everything seemed to fit me and my tastes, much the same as my old room had.

I made my way into the bedroom, and into the bathroom that connected to it. My awe swelled even further as I realized the bathroom had been renovated to match the one I'd had in my old room.

"It's a new bed," Dad said, making me jump. I hadn't heard him follow me in. "I didn't like the thought of the old one anymore so I donated it to the _Salvation Army_."

I turned around and threw myself into his arms, giving him a tight squeeze. He'd done this for me. He'd done this to make me more comfortable. I had known that he'd understood my reluctance to go back in that room, what father wouldn't, but I just expected him to let me work it out on my own terms, not this.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetheart. I can't begin to imagine how scared you were, and I hate myself for not being there for you. I was a mess, and I promise it's the last time I will ever disappoint you like that."

My eyes welled with the words. I hated that he blamed himself. I hated that he thought he'd disappointed me. I believed there was nothing anyone could do about the situation. It had happened. Peter had acted on his own volition and even Emmett had to stop him after he'd broken up the situation. In his drug hazed mind he had tunnel vision. Esme had helped me see that. She'd talked me through the effects of the drugs on someone's mind.

Armed with that knowledge I should have been able to forgive Peter, but I couldn't, I was still too terrified of even seeing him to work at forgiving him. This was nobody's fault but his and I wouldn't let dad hold the guilt for it. I couldn't.

"I've never been disappointed in you. None of this was your fault."

"I should have heard what was going on, I was too drunk to deal with anything, when I think about what_ could_ have happened."

"It didn't though, dad. We have to put this behind us and move on."

Dad leaned forward and pressed his lips to my forehead before pulling me into a tighter hug. I felt closer to him. We'd avoided getting into a conversation about what had happened that night. I didn't bring it up much because of the nightmares, he didn't bring it up because of his guilt, now everything was out in the open and we could start moving on.

"We stored some things in Izzy's old room, we didn't know if you wanted to keep them or not."

"Her old room?"

Dad chuckled. "When she heard what I was doing down here she insisted she get the third floor to herself. I didn't see anything wrong with it."

"Probably a good idea."

"Come on, lets go see what's in that room, then you can get comfortable in your new room."

I felt my lips curl again as I stepped out of his embrace. "This is awesome. Thank you."

Wrapping his arm around my shoulder, he guided me from the small house and back towards the kitchen. I gave him another hug before yelling at the front of the house gained our full attention. It was Izzy; she'd let out a yelp and gone silent, startling the two of us in the kitchen.

I took off at a run, my gut tangled in knots as the fear coiled around my heart and squeezed. What would make Izzy yelp like that was beyond me. After everything that had happened over the course of the last couple of months my mind immediately fell into the danger category, which only rendered me dumbfounded when I reached the open front door.

Izzy was stood hugging someone I hadn't seen in years. Someone I knew well and talked to at least once a week, she was hugging . . .

"Charlie?"

Charlie did a double take as dad skidded to a stop beside me, his eyes flashing between Charlie and Izzy and me. I could see the question in his eyes but was entirely too stunned to comment.

"Hey, pumpkin? Uh," he stood back and looked at Izzy with a sheepish grin. "Sorry, not Bella. I guess that explains the squeal."

"S'okay," Izzy smiled gently, stepping away. "We are twins."

"What are you doing here?" I sang running into his open arms and letting myself get tangled in his warm embrace. Charlie was such a creature of habit he even smelled of his usual cologne. The memories from my childhood flooded into the forefront of my mind. I could have sworn I could hear the baseball commentary in the back of my mind.

A cough behind me reminded me of dad and Izzy's presence. I guessed it was polite to give out introductions.

"Dad, Izzy, this is Charlie Swan, my step dad."

A flash of recognition fluttered across dad's face before he pulled on a mask of indifference. He stepped forward and offered Charlie a hand. "Good to meet you, Charlie. Carlisle Cullen. Bella's told us all about you."

"Good things I hope," Charlie said, taking Carlisle's offered hand and shaking it. "And your, Bella and . . ."

"Izzy," Izzy filled in with a bashful smile.

"–Izzy's Dad. Good to meet you too."

"Swan, oh wait – you're where Bella's last name came from," Izzy said startled, Charlie's arm was still around my shoulder holding me close.

"You still have my name, kid?"

Stood between Dad and Charlie I felt torn. What was I supposed to say? I had been stubbornly holding onto it since I moved here because I wasn't sure about how I felt, but now? I hadn't thought about it since I had corrected Edward, I just thought of myself as a Cullen.

"Well, I'm Cullen in school. I just kind of figured it would be Cullen everywhere else now," I shrugged unsure. I hoped it wouldn't offend Charlie.

"As it should be munchkin," he said, giving me a squeeze. "You finally got to meet your dad after all the questions you asked growing up. I'm glad you're happy."

Both of my arms closed around Charlie's waist as I hugged him again. I should have known he'd try to make it easier for me. He was always so caring that way. It never mattered where Renée had been when he was around, because he was always the parent. Thinking back on it, I think he was forced to be. Nevertheless, he would always do what was best for me. He also gave Carlisle the smile that had been absent since he'd shown up.

Knowing I was so intent on looking for him had obviously made him feel better about Charlie's presence. No one could say Charlie lacked tact. It's why he got the position he was in. I think as Chief of Police for a small town, tact and charisma were a necessity.

Charlie smiled at me before his eyes found Carlisle again. "I was hoping I could take Bella out to dinner. I have to head out this evening; I only came in for the day. The IACP is having a conference, it was something I needed to be here for, and I figured I would drop in while I had the chance."

"I don't see a problem with that," Dad answered, his smile genuine now he realized that Charlie wouldn't try and stake a claim. It seemed silly to me. Charlie would always be in my life, but dad would always be my dad.

"Do you think I could join you?" Izzy asked just as timidly as she'd offered her name. It was unusual for her to be so demure. I found it unsettling. "Dad has to go back to work."

Charlie shifted uncomfortably and squeezed my shoulders again. I could tell he was trying to find a way not to hurt her feelings.

"I'm sorry, Izzy. I was hoping to discuss something with Bella. I would have loved for you to join us, but I think Bella and I need to do this one-on-one."

I looked up at Charlie, my eyes narrowing. What would he have to talk to me about? Why would it be better alone? Charlie was always so open and when he took me out when I was growing up he always took Leah with us. We hadn't caught up in a while, but I didn't see how having Izzy tag along would hinder that. Not that I was eager to have her come along, but it was uncharacteristic of Charlie and it worried me. Was I going to like what he had to say?

By the time my eyes reached Izzy, she was already stomping toward the stairs, her hand over her mouth as the rejection sunk in. I should have known she'd take this hard. After everything she'd been through over the years, rejection was the one thing that could chip her icy veneer.

"Did I say something wrong?" Charlie asked with confusion.

"No," I sighed, stepping out from under his arm. "Let me go talk to her."

"I'll go," dad offered, his hand landing on my shoulder. "You and Charlie have a nice dinner. I'll see you when you get home." He shook Charlie's hand again and nodded at him before taking off up the stairs.

"Is she okay?"

"I'll explain in the car," I said stepping toward the still open front door.

While we drove toward the French Quarter in Charlie's rental car I explained Izzy's history and my life here since arriving. I left out some things I thought he really didn't need to know, but mostly told him the truth about how I'd been doing since discovering I had a father and sister. He seemed genuinely happy for me.

It wasn't until he drove a little past Canal Street that I realized we were taking a detour. I'd been so wrapped up in our conversation I hadn't been paying attention to where we were going.

"Um, you missed the turn, Charlie."

His sheepish smile and red neck told me there was something he was avoiding saying out loud. As long as I'd known him, I could see the signs. He'd always told me I was too perceptive as a kid.

"What's going on?"

"We're going to pick up, Kate."

"You didn't tell me you brought her with you!" I exclaimed. Charlie had told me about Kate when he'd met her. I think he was worried about my reaction so he'd waited until he could visit. He had mamére sit with me when he'd told me because he was afraid I'd feel like he was trying to replace me or move on without me. I hadn't been upset. I'd been happy. Even as a young teen I knew he deserved happiness. He was amazing to be the father figure I'd longed for, but he'd deserved a family of his own.

"Well, because there's a bit of a surprise."

I raised my eyebrows. "Are you going to be a dad?"

"Way to ruin the surprise."

I screamed like a prepubescent girl and bounced in my seat. Happiness was like a warm slow burn bubbling to the surface and popping. There was no way I could hold it all in.

"You're excited then?"

"Ya think?" I giggled, shaking his arm. "I'm so happy for you I could burst!"

He pulled up at a hotel where a beautiful auburn haired woman with a bump of a stomach stood smiling like she'd won the lottery. It wasn't until I realized she was looking at Charlie that I realized it was the look of complete and utter adoration. I knew Charlie had loved Renée when they were together because that's who he was. He loved with his heart on his sleeve, but this – this you could see reciprocated. Kate knew how lucky she was to have him and it made my heart swell.

"Kate?" I asked anyway.

"That's her," he said with a reverence that I could only smile at. I took a deep breath and pushed my door open, stepping up to the woman waiting for us.

"Wow, you must be Bella," she smiled, taking both of my hands in hers. "Charlie said you were a beautiful young lady, but I think he missed out the gorgeous part. I've been looking forward to meeting you for a while. Charlie talks about you so often I feel like I already know you, and now I'm talking your ear off."

"No, not at all," I giggled. "It's good to finally meet you."

"You too," she grinned, twisting the ends of my hair in a maternal fashion. "Are you hungry?"

I gave her another smile and nodded, stepping away from the door so she could slide in the front seat.

**~oOo~**

Kate was more amazing than even Charlie had made her out to be. She'd insisted that I come to stay with them after the baby was born, and I was excited about the prospect. The two of them together were amazing, they were always touching in some way, either holding hands, or knees pushed together under the table, or Charlie would have his arm over the back of her chair rubbing her back in gentle circles.

Knowing Charlie had someone like this in his life made saying goodbye to him easier.

Their flight was in a couple of hours so even though I longed for more time I knew it would have to be cut short. They dropped me off in front of the house before they left to pack their things.

The house was quiet when I entered. Dad's car wasn't in the drive so I knew he'd gone back to work. Izzy's was gone as well, but I hoped that she was still home. I needed to tell her why Charlie had declined her offer. Why he hadn't agreed to her coming as well. I had known the moment she stepped out of that hug that she'd felt just as comfortable as I always had with him. He'd thought she was me, so his paternal embrace had more than likely made her feel the love and support he'd always given me.

I wasn't saying we didn't get that from dad, but Charlie was different. He was like a bear, cuddly and kind, and Izzy was so desperate for that connection to a parental figure, I could only imagine how hurt she felt by the rejection. It seemed silly to worry about someone's feelings after a fleeting visit, but this was Izzy, she was starved of attention and in one embrace she was given a hug more meaningful than any she'd probably had before.

I made my way through the house to the second floor, pausing outside the door to the third. My old room. It was stupid to still be terrified of it, but I was, undeniably so. I knocked tentatively; hoping if she was in she'd come down to answer the door. There was nothing though, no sounds of the music she normally had playing, or the shows she normally watched. Just silence.

She wasn't home.

I would have to catch her later.

The silence of the house was unnerving to me as I wandered back down to the pool house. The sound of my own heels on the hard wood floor seemed to be too loud to my ears, and I knew it wouldn't be long until the familiar plague of the unseen eyes would be on me again. I needed to get out and do something before I drove myself crazy.

I called Edward, but it went to voice mail. He was horrible at charging his phone, so I took my chances and drove over to his house. His parents were still out of town, so I walked in like I always did and started up the stairs. Even here the silence was too profound. The trees shifted in the wind that was whipping through the city with the latest cold front, they slapped against the side of the house like fingers running down glass making me feel even more on edge.

The good feeling from seeing Charlie and meeting Kate was gone, left in its wake was this foreboding that seemed to follow me with every step I took. The unseen eyes here hadn't haunted me, and I couldn't even say it was the same feeling. This was more like dread, my heart stuttering in my chest as I climbed the last of the grand staircase.

I was being stupid. I was just feeling guilty about Izzy and probably wouldn't feel better until I'd had a chance to talk to her. Maybe the problem was things had been going too well, maybe I was worried about all of this blowing up and ruining the peaceful serenity that had hung over our home since Tanya had left.

I sped up as I walked down the corridor, my need to see Edward growing with every clattering step of my heels. I stopped outside of his door and pushed it open, but the breath I had inhaled was trapped in my throat as I stumbled. There, on the bed, was Edward and Izzy, curled up against one another under the comforter, the serenity in their faces evident as they slept.

I took a step backward, but lost my balance and slammed into the wall behind me, one of the pictures lost its place and slammed to the floor with a crash that had Edward sitting up in shock. Our eyes met, but I couldn't hold them, the moment I broke contact he looked down at Izzy and I ran, kicking off my heels so I could gain the speed I needed to just get away.

My stomach rolled uncomfortably as I threw myself down the stairs, my hands gripping the antique railing so I could keep my balance. I hit the bottom and reached the door as I heard the foot falls on the landing above.

"Bella, stop. Please, let me explain."

I ignored his voice and threw open the door leaving it open behind me as the thunderous sound of his feet hit each stair on the way down. It faded as soon as I hit the grass, the cold dampness sticking to the bottom of my feet making me slide. I caught myself and pushed forward, slamming against the side of the car clicking my keys that I thankfully still had in my hand.

"Bella, don't leave like this. Will you listen to me? I thought you . . ."

I slammed the door cutting off his voice as I fumbled to get the keys in the ignition. I wanted out. I didn't want to talk.

The car roared to life under me and I threw it in gear as Edward sprinted over the grass toward me. I pulled away from the curb just before he arrived and took off down the street, swallowing the heaving sobs that were suffocating me with the breath I was fighting to release.

The one person I thought I could trust had betrayed me. I should never have gone to him that day Renée showed up, because it had brought us closer. My instinct had always been to go to Leah and I was stupid to follow my heart to Edward's making myself more vulnerable than I had ever been. I gave him the power to hurt me. He didn't know I loved him, and for that I was thankful. At least I had my dignity.

My phone played Edward's ringtone as I pulled up at my house bringing me out of this numbness that enveloped my mind. I couldn't go home. This would be the first place he'd come looking for me. I needed somewhere he wouldn't come looking for me, and I could only think of one place. I had one friend that wasn't tied into this group as tightly and I just hoped she'd be home.

I pulled away from the curb, my breaths bleeding in and out of my body in painful spurts. The sting of the air making my throat ache painfully with the unshed tears. I was hanging on by a thread, and I wasn't even certain I could make it.

I pulled up in the driveway and stumbled barefoot out of the car and to the front door, the gravel biting into the soles of my feet as I tripped up the stairs and rang the bell.

_Please be home_. I begged silently. My stoic calm was beginning to unnerve me. I was falling apart inside, but I wasn't even sure how I was keeping the tears at bay. Numbness seemed to spread through my body, starting with the freezing concrete under my feet.

"Bella?"

My eyes rose to the voice in the doorway. It wasn't the person I wanted.

"James," I croaked, the hoarse sound of my voice harsh against the silence that had embraced me since I left Charlie. "Is Ange home?"

"No, she's out with Ben. What's going on? Are you hurt?"

"No," I shuddered violently dislodging the calm I had embraced. "Yes, I . . . I don't know I –"

I didn't get another word out. James stepped from the house and wrapped his arms around me. If I'd been stronger, if I'd been together, if, if, if. It didn't matter. My whole world was falling apart.

"Come inside. You have to be cold out here," James said gently stepping away from me. "I don't think Ange will be much longer."

I followed him in the house and sat down next to him on the couch, trying and failing to breathe once again. I was a mess, and I knew it but there was nothing I could do to stop it. I was holding on to the tears and sobs with every ounce of strength I had left, and I didn't know how long I could hold on.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked gently, his usual arrogant and too involved manner gone.

I shook my head as the words eluded me. I was a pot too full, boiling and licking at the surface lip ready to fall over any moment. I wrapped my arms around myself. Just a while longer. That's all I had to wait.

"Bella, I'm really not trying to get into your business here, but you look like shit and you're freaking me out. Are you sure you're okay?"

Without answering, my head bowed to my chest and the tears filled my eyes. I finally let the pain wrap its willowy fingers around my heart and squeeze as the tears slid down my cheeks. Edward had been with Izzy, Edward and Izzy were in the bed curled around one another like they'd been that way their whole lives and I just couldn't get the image out of my head. It was like an open wound with salt being poured into it over and over again. Why would he do this to me? How could he do this to me?

Sobs followed the tears, shaking my body violently. Every muscle in my body ached with the last of my resolve.

"Did Edward do this?"

"Oh God." The words were strangled and raspy. "Izzy."

"Are you sure?"

"I saw," I stuttered, lifting my heavy head. "James I saw them in bed together."

"Shit, Bella. I – I'm so sorry." His arms folded around me, I knew it was wrong, I knew our history, but the pain was too much to bear. It lacerated my lungs and squeezed my heart. I was slowly falling apart and it hurt.

There, in James' arms, I let myself go and grieved for what I had lost.

* * *

**A/N: Before you tar and feather me . . . I just wanted to let those of you who don't go to the blog know that there is an Edward POV of finding out what Peter did to Bella there . . . And Now . . . I Run and Hide! Yes I know some of you were hoping the dramarama of angst was over, but sadly, here it is. I realize I am not your favorite person right now so I will be hiding somewhere. All I ask is that you give me a head start before you start chasing me! :P**

Thank being said, I'm curious as to whether the blog gave anything away. I tried to scramble with the pictures and get a feel for what was going on, but I wasn't sure whether it would give too much away! As always the songs, polyvore, etc are on there.

Thanks as always to my awesome beta, Annabanana, I sprang this on her last night and so it's not beta'd as of yet, but I will be replacing the chapter once it is, so excuse the mess ;)

Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic . . . Thanks for giving me the head start and letting me leg it before you started the chase :P lol! Love you guys! Thanks for always being there when I get a case of the crazies!

To the reviewers, please don't hate me! I love you guys and I know right now you're probably sat there shaking your head at the screen, and possibly even yelling at me, or Bella for running, but it will all make sense eventually. I love you all and you're awesome and . . . Even though I am terrified, I am also interested in what you have to say. Maybe I should have invested in that flame retardant suit!

Much love and Epic hugs ~Weezy~  



	41. The Cold Shoulder

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some subtle plot points in the beginning were inspired by V.C. Andrews the song and lyrics belong to the respective band and their record label and the rest is from my strange mind. Happy Tuesday!  
_**

* * *

**The Cold Shoulder**

_What is this I feel, why is it so real  
__What am I to say  
__It's only love, it's only pain  
__It's only fear, that runs through my veins  
__It's all the things you can't explain  
__That makes us human_

**_Human by Civil Twilight_**

* * *

"Bella?" The voice seemed to go with the hand that was soft on my shoulder as it shook me. My head thudded painfully against my skull, and I couldn't stop my hand from going to my forehead to ease it. My eyes seemed to well the moment they focused on the face in front of me. The pain seemed to flood my body just as violently as it had when I was around James. "Oh sweetheart, Angela called me. James told her what happened."

"Rose," I cried. Unable to form anything more articulate. James had been such a gentlemen, he never said a word, he'd just let me cry until the dry sobs claimed my body. Angela still hadn't come home so he sent me to her room to rest. I had only seen this side of him once and I was grateful for how sweet he had been.

"Come here," Rose sighed, pulling me into her arms. I buried my head in the crook of her neck and couldn't stop the pain from releasing in the safety of her embrace. This was so much worse that it had been. With someone I knew, and trusted holding me it was like reliving the whole thing over again.

"She's fine. We have her," Alice said from somewhere in the room, her voice a gentle sympathetic whisper. "Not a good idea, Jasper. Just call Emmett and Leah and let them know. I'll call you later."

"Hey, Alice . . ." Rosalie said softly, and nodded to something beside me on the bed. It was my phone lit up with a new text message. Alice swooped in to pull it out of my view, but it was too late. The damage was done. The words were etched into the back of my eyelids.

'_Now I see the fascination you have with Edward! He's good in Bed!_'

"What a fucking, bitch," Alice muttered, pressing any key she could to clear the screen.

"Ignore her, Bella. She planned this. I'm sure of it! I don't think Edward would ever do anything like that . . . she must have . . ."

"Save it, Rose," I whispered. "I don't even want to hear his name right now. I know I have to talk to him eventually, but I can't right now. It –" I swallowed back the sobs threatening to spill over again. "–It hurts too much."

"Bella, we don't even know what happened. I mean we get the gist, but Edward literally called Emmett and told him to get his whore of a sister and threw her out the moment Emmett's truck pulled up. Edward asked where you were and when Emmett said he didn't know Edward started yelling about how he'd fucked up.

"Then James filled in the blanks," Rose finished. "Bella, I think you need to hear him out. This isn't Edward."

Anger danced through me, sparking my defensive side and pushing me from the bed. I moved to the door, grabbing my phone from Alice's hands and my purse from the dresser. Mingled with the grief, my anger was palpable. Even Rosalie recoiled from the look I gave her.

"Tell you what. You go," I shouted, tears streaming down my cheeks as I pulled my coat around my shoulders. "Give him my best won't you."

"Bella, don't do this, I didn't mean . . ."

"No, Rose. You've made it perfectly clear what you meant. So yeah, thanks for that." I turned and pulled open the door and marched down the stairs in my bare feet, stopping at the bottom to peer into the living room. Anger was a welcome relief to the pain but it was dissipating, and the ache was setting in quickly.

I saw James on the couch with Angela watching TV. He looked drained and guilt finally made it into the mix as it always did when my emotions piqued.

"Thanks for everything, James," I offered, backing toward the door. "Thanks for understanding."

He nodded once, gave me a sympathetic smile and turned back to the TV. It was like he understood I had nothing left to offer, so he didn't try to take any more from me, and I was grateful.

"Bella, please listen to me," Rose begged from the landing. My eyes flickered to her once before I pulled open the door and marched out, pulling it quietly closed behind me. If it had been a door to my home it would have been slammed.

I knew I was being petty, I knew Rosalie and Alice were only trying to help, but the betrayal of Edward was so fresh in my mind this stung. Just for a while I needed someone to just be there for me. I was tempted to crawl in my car and drive to Leah's but I couldn't run from my problems, no matter how much pain I was in. I had to go to school and show Izzy she hadn't won. I had to fight the temptation to cave her nose in again, and move on.

I would talk to Edward and hear his side of it but the wound was too fresh. I needed time to think. To process and let all off the fiery emotions out of my body so I could be civil and level headed. Now wasn't the time. I needed to breathe.

I pulled up at the house and went straight to the pool house, ignoring the figure in the kitchen. I knew who it was, and I wasn't playing her games. I was too tired, and drained to even start anything tonight. I couldn't believe this all stemmed from a rejection. All because someone had shown her love and turned her down when she invited herself. I understood her need to be loved, and Charlie's affection at the door had taken her off guard, but this reaction, this spiteful, backstabbing, vindictive retaliation was too much. I would never forgive her for this.

I locked every door in the place and went to my room, my body was cold and I climbed under the covers fully dressed, hoping no one else would want to "help" tonight. Letting my mind fall into a blanket of darkness I kept it clear, hoping the temporary peace would be enough to send me back into a deep sleep so I could escape this for at least a while.

I wasn't sure if I had even slept, the room still felt the same, and my body still felt cold, but the new noise; the tapping on the window-it rattled through my head with the pulsing ache of the headache I still had. Dried tears I had no recollection of shedding made the skin on my face feel tight.

"Bella, are you in there?"

My heart thundered in my chest. Could no one respect what _I_ wanted? Just for one day? Was it always about what everyone else felt, their needs to clear the air? For once, I wanted to think about me and how I felt.

I didn't say a word as I crawled out of bed into the darkness of my room. Nothing I had to say would be welcoming or forgiving, it would do not good to make the situation worse. I stumbled over the rug, thinking I was in the clear, but unfortunately, it wouldn't be my life unless I tripped over something.

I fell to the floor with a thud and curled around the ache in my toes as the channel of tears opened again and the hot, salty tears slid down my cheeks. Why couldn't Edward just stay away for one night? He had to know how hurt I was; he had to realize that what I'd seen couldn't be swept under the rug.

"Bella, please let me explain. Nothing happened. I thought . . ."

I pushed my hands over my ears like a petulant child and scrambled to the bathroom kicking the door closed behind me. Darkness surrounded me as I felt along the wall to feel for the faucet. I was so cold, and I wasn't ready to hear who did what. I craved for someone who knew me well, someone who could explain to them why I needed time, but it was too late to call Leah. I was in this alone.

The steam filled the room and drowned out the noise of Edward's voice in the dark of the night. The humid air finally took some of the chill off but it did nothing to comfort me. I sat there for what felt like hours my body curled in on itself as I let the tear accumulate and fall freely.

I had no idea what time Edward left. He'd tried to get me to talk to him several times after I'd wandered back into my room, I had put in my iPod and turned up the volume before I parted the blinds and asked him to leave, his words drowned out my the music I'd chosen. I told I would talk to him tomorrow but I knew I couldn't do it.

I knew I was drawing this out longer than it needed to be, but I just couldn't face him yet. I knew myself too well. Open wounds made me unreasonable. If I spoke to him I wouldn't hear a word he had to say, I would see everything as an excuse, a lie built to smooth things over and it wasn't fair to him. I think in some way I knew beyond a doubt that it was being blown out of proportion but I couldn't force myself to follow through with the thoughts. It all circled back to the image of how comfortable they were in bed together.

I skipped school, knowing he would be haunting me in every corridor, that he'd be waiting outside every classroom. There was nowhere to hide from him; he knew everywhere I went to hide. Somewhere inside my own head I was reprimanding myself for doing this, the part of me that loved him was arguing with the image that forcefully and persistently tattooed itself to the back of my eyelids.

I spent hours walking around the French Quarter after changing out of my uniform in a multi story car park. I knew I was a mess in the jeans and too baggy sweater I had stolen from Emmett, but I didn't care. I just needed to delete my memory bank and I would be fine. I could levelly and diplomatically listen to the actual events of what happened, maybe.

I knew that Izzy had gone there as me, I had no doubt about that, she was just calculating enough to pull it off, but what killed me; what made the whole thing so much worse, was he didn't see the differences. He couldn't tell us apart. Coupled with the story about James and that stupid fucking party; and I was a ball of disbelief and tension. My mind kept forming the: '_What if he had come on to Izzy_?' argument.

As ridiculous as it was I couldn't shake it because of what I had seen. I went back and forth as I walked through the city. I argued with myself as I found a hole in the wall coffee shop and drank four cups of coffee, and studied the nervous energy it seemed to pour into my body in the form of a tapping leg and shaky hand. Yet I still couldn't come to a conclusion. I still couldn't find what_I _believed.

Then came the feelings I had toward Izzy.

I was seething with my hatred. I knew she wanted to hurt me and she'd succeeded. She'd torn my heart from my chest and made me hate her. She'd won, but I wouldn't let her push me away. If I had to scratch her eyes out at every meal and fight fire with fire I would. I would break her down for once. I would make her suffer.

My phone chirped in my purse again. It had been doing it all day, but I checked every one making sure it wasn't Leah. Finally, her name was the one that popped up on the caller ID and I answered.

"Hey, how are you?" she rushed in before I could say a word; her voice was filled with sympathy. "Rose told me you had a melt down."

"Yeah, still not feeling guilty about that," I groaned, surprising myself; yet I knew Leah would forgive me. "I felt attacked and lashed out."

"I know. I think I know you too well sometimes so I explained and told her to back off. I know you need time to sort through this shit. I'm sorry it happened, Bells, I really am," Leah sighed sounding restless.

"I know, Lee. I just – it was a surprise." That was the understatement of the century, but also the only word that seemed to fit.

I leaned against a wall in the mouth of one of the side streets so I was out of the wind. Talking to Leah always helped. I knew she wouldn't push me to do something I wasn't ready to do, and she wouldn't judge me for anything I had to say.

"Of course it was. Not even I thought that bitch would stoop so low."

"He was outside my room last night, Lee. Calling my name and begging me to listen. Every time he started talking I blocked him out. I had my iPod on for an hour before I had to tell him to go."

"Did he have a boom box with some Peter Gabriel?"

My lips curled but the smile never came. Only Leah could bring me drifting to the surface while I was drowning.

"No, no boom box. Sadly, no Peter Gabriel either."

"Someone needs to point that boy in the right direction. I swear; you want to get a girls attention you follow in John Cusack's footsteps and you lift a radio over your head playing that song! It wins every time."

"I hate you," I snorted. I didn't want to be laughing. My wallowing was serving me just fine.

"No you don't. You love me."

"Ugh, you're right."

Leah took a deep breath, the air of subtle playfulness dying with it. "Come home, Bells."

"Lee," I whispered, wishing it were that easy.

"Don't Lee me, Bella. Just pack your shit and come home. Do you remember what I said to you before you left to live with them?"

"Leah."

"I said, and I quote '_this will always be your home, Bella. You're always welcome. If it doesn't work out, come home._' It's not working out, Bells. You're miserable."

She was right, if she was talking about now. If she'd asked me a week ago I would have given her a completely different answer. I was happy with Edward. I was happy being with him, I was happy talking to him. I was so lost in him I could never imagine being this unhappy with him around. Now, I wasn't so sure what I wanted. I just knew I couldn't run from this, Edward deserved to tell me what happened. I just wasn't ready to hear it.

"I'm lost, Lee, and it hurts so bad," I sobbed, the lump in my throat making the words strangled.

Leah sighed. As much as she didn't want to hear it, she knew it and the though made her feel helpless.

"I know. It kills me that I can't give you a hug and send Seth in to annoy you. I'm so angry. I was angry at poor Rosalie for saying what she said because I knew how you'd react to that. I was angry at your chicken shit dad for letting Izzy get away with everything. I was pissed at Edward for not knowing it wasn't you. I know how you're feeling because in some way this wrongs me; you're my best friend. I will stand behind you no matter what you choose to do, but you're the only one who can make the decision about what you want."

"I just need time. I need to clear my head, and then I need to talk to him. I think he deserves that."

"Maybe, maybe not, but that's your call. If he respected you he would back off and let you think."

"I know. I'm just confused, and pissed and hurt and . . . confused."

"You said that already."

"I know. Doesn't make it any less true."

"What am I going to do with you? You're such a stubborn ass."

"I know, but you love me anyway," I sighed with a partial smile. "I should probably head home, I'm in the French Quarter and I think schools about to kick out."

"You deviant," Leah chortled.

"I know. There goes my perfect attendance."

"Go home you tool. Don't let anyone force you into anything okay. Do it in your own time."

"I will. Love you, Lee."

"Love you too, Bells."

I hung up the phone and sighed, glad of the reprieve from my own head that Leah had offered me. Now I just had to decide how to handle all of this.

I made my way back to the parking garage and changed in the car again, I knew I would have to make some kind of appearance in front of dad to save face. I didn't care that my hair was tendrils of tangles or my eyes were heavily shadowed. All you had to do was look at my face to see something was wrong. I looked defeated and deflated and I hated my own reflection right now.

When I pulled up to the house, I couldn't help but sigh in frustration. The old saying, '_when it rains, it pours_,' bounced around in my head. Emmett was leaning against his truck waiting for me, and I knew whatever he had to say wouldn't be good.

"What now?" I asked as I opened the door and stepped out. It seemed my manners went to shit with my heartbreak.

"How are you?" Emmett asked, ignoring my question. I appreciate him glazing over my lapse in decorum.

"Been better," I mumbled, offering him a weak smile. I couldn't be mad at Emmett, he'd done nothing wrong and he'd always been there for me. "Just trying to wrap my head around everything, you know?"

Emmett nodded. He'd obviously spoken to Leah already.

"I just wanted to warn you before you went in there. The school called your dad. Apparently, Miss Evenson was worried about not seeing you today. You had an appointment?"

Great. Just what I needed. It seemed my memory went to the same place my manners did. I would have to remember that the next time someone wrenched my heart out and stomped on it.

"Thanks, Em. I guess I deserved it."

"No you don't, Bella. No one deserves shit like this. I did speak to Leah though and I told Edward to let you cool off for a day or two, so the calls and midnight visits should stop."

For a brief second I felt lighter, but it didn't last long. A couple of days would buy me some time, but I still wasn't certain it was enough. I still lived with the other half of the equation, the colder, callous side, and I couldn't avoid her forever.

"Thanks Emmett. Just for reference, you're an amazing brother."

Emmett stepped forward and folded his arms around me. This was what I had been searching for. This was a hug similar to the one I knew Leah would offer. No judgments and no pushing, just letting me do things my way and being there when I needed comfort. Emmett should have been the first person I had gone to.

"Want me to go in with you? The bitch is in there just waiting for you to show up so she can gloat. I figure you need someone on your side."

Being that he was here alone, part of the family by choice now rather than marriage, I knew I couldn't involve him in this. No matter how much I felt I needed an advocate.

"I can't do that to you, Em. I appreciate it, but I think I need to get it over with."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, apologize to Rose for me though. I snapped at her and I think I'm starting to feel bad about it."

Emmett chuckled and patted my head with the palm of his hand as he stepped away. "She doesn't blame you. Once she talked to Leah I think she realized her mistake. She told me what she said, and I told her the same thing Leah did. It was too soon to push you. Just call me if you need me, okay?"

I nodded and took a deep breath. It was time to face the firing squad, and if Izzy wanted to butt in, I may well be heading back to the Clearwater's this afternoon. I was finished mollycoddling her, and if dad wanted to let her stay, then he wasn't who I thought he was either.

Emmett laid a hand on my shoulder before opening the door to his truck. All I could do was take a deep breath and start toward the house. Knowing what was coming made it easier to face what was inevitably waiting for me.

Thankfully, I didn't have to go into the house; I was spared having to watch Izzy gloat. Dad was stood at the pool house waiting for me, and I could see Izzy's pout from a mile away as she stood at the door watching.

"Isabella, where have you been?"

"French Quarter."

Dad considered me for a moment, his eyes full of disappointment as he tried to figure out to handle the situation.

"I appreciate the honesty, but would you mind explaining why you weren't at school?"

I unlocked the door to the pool house and walked in, leaving the door open as an invitation for dad to follow me. I wasn't going to do this with the bitch watching, I wasn't going to let her see how much I hurt and tears were inevitable.

"Bella, this isn't like you. I've been very tolerant with you, and I know that I messed up, but it doesn't mean you can come and go when you please and go to school when it suits you."

I laughed once, a harsh, forced sound as I leaned against the couch and crossed my arms over my chest. I was getting defensive again. It was a feral curl in my body that stretched, its claws scratching what little patience I had left.

Dad's eyebrows rose high on his head. Apparently, he didn't appreciate my attitude either.

"Well?"

"I didn't feel like going."

His arms dropped before he raised them to brush through his hair in frustration. "Bella, what the hell is going on with you? You were fine yesterday, now all of a sudden you're being belligerent and difficult? This isn't you. Tell me what happened."

"It doesn't matter, I won't skip school again."

"Damn straight you won't. You and I have an appointment with Miss Evenson tomorrow; she thinks there are some things we need to cover. She called me worried about you today, asked where you were. You can imagine my surprise when I told her you were at school and she corrected me."

"I'm sorry." I was. I hadn't meant to drag him into this situation. "I just, well some things happened and I needed time."

"Bella, you can talk to me about anything. I'm your dad, if you'd come to me I could have helped."

"No. You couldn't have." There was nothing he could do unless they euthanized cold hearted bitches like Izzy. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. I'd never wished harm on anyone in my life and now I was making comments about euthanizing my twin.

"Why? What's so difficult you can't explain it to me?"

He was prodding, breaking down the wall I had built to stop him from having to be dragged into this. If he knew he would confront Izzy and she would know, she would see the pain she'd caused. I didn't want that.

"Edward and I had a fight," I lied, closing my eyes. Saying his name hurt.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I really am, but you can't skip school because you had a fight with your boyfriend. I know it seems like the world is ending, relationships are hard, but you're young and there are plenty of other guys out there who will catch your attention."

"It's a little more complicated than that, dad, but thanks for the pep talk," I answered, a little more vehemence in my tone than I'd intended. It seemed no one was safe from this rage that seemed to sit in wait under the surface.

"Okay, well if you won't explain it to me, I have no choice but to ground you until further notice. Tomorrow I will follow you to school so we can meet with Miss Evenson, and after school I expect you to come right home."

"No problems there." It wasn't like I had a social life anymore. Edward was tied to every one of my friends and I was avoiding him like the plague, not to mention social interactions were the last thing on my mind right now. Maybe the time alone would do me some good.

"Bella, I really wish you'd consider talking to me."

I thought about that for a moment. Played with words to see how diplomatically I could shed light on the situation. All I came up with was . . . '_My twin's a whore who pretended to be me so she could get her claws in my boyfriend to get me back for something I had no control over'_. The second came out as: '_Izzy is so starved for attention that my step father's rejection pushed her to retaliate by climbing in to bed with my boyfriend_.' Neither would work, the first would show how much I hated Izzy and the second would hurt him.

I just couldn't keep taking this out on him; I could see that my deflection was hurting just as much as saying the words that had passed through my mind. This wasn't his fault, Izzy made her choice. Izzy was the one who did this. I couldn't keep lashing out at everyone around me.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I just . . . I can't right now. I promise I will come to you when I figure it all out. I'm sorry I caused so much trouble."

He nodded once and moved to hug me, his arms outstretched as he pulled me against his chest. I hated this, I hated lashing out at everyone and everything because of something two people had done. My anger was misplaced and cruel; if I kept this up I was going to crack.

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**A/N: Wow I decided to keep this chapter of wallowing to a minimum. Bella's a little upset lol, and it's turned into anger. I didn't know it would be so difficult to write :( **

**I'm sorry the last chapter affected you all the way it did, but to be honest it was always going to be heading in this direction. I just hope that in the end it will be worth it. If not, well I apologize for wasting your time! **

**Thanks as always to my beta, Annabanana, as this was off schedule it hasn't been beta'd yet, but I will be sending it to her, so it may all of a sudden appear better! **

**Thanks as always to Miztrezboo, bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic, who have stood by me and held my hand while I was getting flamed! I knew it was coming ;)**

**Thank you also to everyone who reviewed. I realized long before I posted this chapter that it wasn't going to get a happy reception. I realize how difficult it was to read, and to see what happened. This chapter, although not much happened is trying to convey why Bella is taking so long to listen to Edward. I know that is probably going to frustrate you all more, but it's why I posted it on a Saturday! Thank you for sticking with me! I love you all immensely, and I realize that you're still all really mad! So I will hug and run! **

**Thank you for your patience! The blog will be updated soonish!**

**Much love and huge hugs ~ Weezy ~**


	42. Esme

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some subtle plot points in the beginning were inspired by V.C. Andrews the song and lyrics belong to the respective band and their record label and the rest is from my strange mind. Happy Tuesday!  
_**

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**Esme**

_Blue skies bring tears  
Descend the darkened stairways  
Make hate with plastic playmates  
And fire out remaining traces of your self esteem_

**_Blue Skies Bring Tears by Smashing Pumpkins_**

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"Bella, are you ready?" Dad asked as I placed my cereal bowl in the sink. Izzy had been watching me all through breakfast with a challenging smirk on her lips. It took everything in me to not say something to her. I'd never been much of an instigator when it came to physical or verbal confrontation, but with her, I had to watch everything I did now. It would have been so easy to shove her head into her berryless Special K, but I held my temper and my tongue and ignored her. It was all I could do.

"As I'll ever be," I sighed, making my way to the door. I avoided even looking at Izzy; I didn't need the same defensive anger that had eaten me last night to make another appearance. Esme didn't deserve that from me. All she'd ever done was help me. I was the one who cut school, and after our last conversation I could understand her concern.

"Come on then."

I drove in silence, ignoring my radio and every other thing I normally enjoyed in my car. I was focusing on keeping my breathing level and my heartbeat slow and calm. Just the thought of walking into the school and knowing he would be waiting to talk to me made the panic rise in my throat like bile. I still wasn't ready.

It felt like a lifetime since I'd last been in his arms, but it was only three days, maybe even less than that. The emotions I was suffering seemed to drag the days out, making hours into weeks and minutes into days. My mind seemed to revert to the night in the bathtub of the Masen's master bathroom, and it hurt. It had never been sex with Edward, no matter how much I analyzed it, the view never changed. It was making love. Now though – Now, I just couldn't get past the Izzy thing. Every time I tried to think of him and me, I saw her instead, the steel gray of her eyes standing out like a razor's edge.

It was still too soon. I couldn't face him yet. I knew how irrational I was being but I needed to get all of these thoughts plucked from my head before I could talk to him.

I parked in my usual spot and was happy that I was early enough to avoid bumping into him. Thankfully dad had a busy day at work and our meeting was early. It meant that no one would see me being dragged in with my dad because I couldn't even cut class right, and I could effectively hide before my first class so he couldn't wait for me.

I met dad at the front door of the school avoiding the curious glances of the few students who normally showed up at this time, and led him toward the counselor's office where I knew Esme was waiting for us.

Dad never said a word; he just followed, his soft-soled shoes not making a sound on the scuffed linoleum. I suddenly felt like a prisoner being led to the gallows. My stomach dropped as I finally realized that dad would be meeting Esme. One of the only people I had told about the creepy watchful eyes that followed me around, the only person I had been able to voice my fears about what Peter had done. Why did she want to see him? Why now?

If it hadn't have been for the pain leeching me dry of emotions I would have panicked, but I couldn't even bring myself to do that. I was too exhausted emotionally. My thoughts were the only things that even considered what this meeting could entail. The rest of me, with the exception of my stomach, didn't care enough to react. It was pathetic really.

"Bella?" dad said quietly, and I didn't even raise my eyes from the ground to acknowledge him.

"Yeah?"

"Who's that?" he asked quietly.

I looked up and saw Esme standing outside of her office with a relieved smile on her face as we approached. I looked up to dad who still had his eyes on her.

"That's Esme, or Miss Evenson," I answered, not really paying attention. "Why?"

Dad's silence brought my eyes to him again, but he wasn't looking at me, his eyes were trained on Esme. I never did get an answer from him. Esme stepped forward with her maternal smile and worried wide eyes.

"Bella, are you alright? You look terrible."

"Thanks," I muttered uncomfortable that she'd brought attention to me. I could feel dad's eyes appraising my appearance.

"You do look drawn, Bella," Dad said gently, then he turned to Esme. "She won't tell me what's going on I'm afraid. She had a fight with her boyfriend, but that's all I got."

Esme nodded, her smile gone now that she was getting a good look at me. I shifted uncomfortably and hiked my bag further up on my shoulder for something to do. The silence was deafening between the three of us. I wasn't sure how I was going to escape now that Esme had scrutinized my appearance.

"Mr. Cullen, would you mind if I spoke to Bella alone first?"

I looked at Esme, my curiosity a dull flicker somewhere in the back of my mind.

"Not at all, Miss Evenson. I'll just . . . take a seat?"

Esme nodded and stepped out of the way her office to let me enter.

"Bella," she prompted me with another nod and I had no choice but to oblige. She closed the door behind me and made her way around the desk to sit down, and waited for me to follow suit. I stalled, kicking the leg of the chair with the toe of my shoe as I waited for her to say something.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I know you must be wondering why I brought your dad in, but it's not what you think. If you sit down I'll explain."

I obeyed and fell into the chair, dropping my bag at my feet. I couldn't even look her in the eyes. I couldn't explain this new situation. I just wanted to get on with my life. I wanted to work through this so I could talk to Edward and move on.

"Edward came to see me yesterday."

My head snapped up at his name and my stomach lurched. I didn't want to care, but even his name made me react. I tried to swallow but the constriction in my throat made it impossible. I wanted to shrug it off and tell her I didn't care that it was none of my business, but I knew my face was telling her everything I was trying to hide.

"He was upset, he told me what happened and I did offer to talk to you, but he said he'd rather explain himself when you're ready, which I think is the best course of action. However, I am concerned about your sister's destructive behavior, and I think it's time it was brought to your fathers attention."

"You're assuming she has a soul of course," I snapped, rubbing my face with my palms. "And you're also assuming that my dad cares."

"Bella," Esme's voice was soft and full of empathy. Even now she wasn't judging me. "I understand how hurt you are, and I know you feel as though the whole world is falling apart around you, but it will work itself out eventually. When you're ready to talk to Edward he will explain everything."

"I'm not ready, and I appreciate your concern, but I'll live."

Her heart shaped face tilted to the side with my tone of voice. It was evident that I didn't believe my own words.

"May I ask what's changed regarding your dad? You've always been very supportive toward him before, and now you seem to think he doesn't care. Is everything okay?"

I didn't know how to explain it. I wasn't even sure why I had this animosity toward him. I knew it wasn't his fault, I knew he cared, but I just resented all the times he stood up for Izzy and her behavior. I hated that he justified her actions because of what she'd had to deal with. If his way of thinking was right, if Izzy's life up to this point explained her vindictive, callous nature, why wasn't I a raging bitch? Our mother had abandoned me, and told me she regretted my birth to my face. Wouldn't that justify my being just as cold and calculating as she was?

"It's not that, I just . . . I–" I paused to find the words I needed. "–I feel like there's this huge double standard when it comes to Izzy and me. It never bothered me before, but now I find that I . . . need him, and I know that he will defend her. Maybe I'm just bitter."

"No, Bella. In a strange situation like this it's normal to feel imbalanced and unsure. Izzy's behavior is not justifiable, not in this situation and nor in any of the others you've told me about. This has to stop. If your dad and you really want to become a family, Izzy has to have some help. I want to help her, just as much as I want to help you."

I nodded. It would take a miracle for anything to get through Izzy's icy exterior, but if there was one person I believed was capable, it was Esme. I just hoped she wasn't biting off more than she could chew.

"Have you had anymore problems with feeling as though you're being watched?"

"No ma'am. It's strange, since I talked to you about it, it hasn't really happened at all."

"I'm glad. I just need you to come to me if it should happen again."

"I will."

"Okay, one last thing before I let you go and bring your dad in. I want to bring up some of the things we've talked about regarding Izzy. I know you told me all of that in confidence and I don't want to betray you. If you would rather I not say anything I can use Edward's explanation to make my point."

I had told her a lot of things during our talks, Izzy had been a topic of conversation more than once and even though I was worried about dad finding all of this out; maybe, just maybe he would listen. I knew it was selfish of me to leave this for someone else to do, but I had never been able to hurt dad's feelings when it came to Izzy and our family – at all really.

"It's fine," I acquiesced. "I know it will hurt him that I spoke to someone other than him about this, but I think it's better that he knows."

Esme smiled at me, her hands clasping together in front of her. "I'm not going to attack him, Bella. I just think he needs to be aware of the situation."

"He does. I just wish – I mean, I know he's going to take it personally."

Esme nodded to the diploma on the wall and grinned conspiratorially. "That's where that comes in handy."

"Of course," I smiled. "Thank you, Esme. For everything and I'm sorry I bailed on you yesterday and for being so difficult earlier. I'm just having a hard time, and I'm so tired."

"I understand, Bella. No apologies are necessary, but the best advice I can give you is to talk to Edward. Clear the air so you have both sides of the story."

I nodded and stood up slowly. I knew she was right, I knew I had to hear what he had to say. I just didn't know how I was going to react when I saw him.

I said goodbye to dad as I left the office. He reminded me I was grounded and I was to come straight home so I nodded and rushed past him to get to my first class. The second bonus of having an appointment with the counselor was staying late enough to mange to avoid Edward waiting for me before class. I knew he would have seen my car, so he knew I was here.

Jasper gave me a sideways glance the moment I slid into the seat next to him. I hadn't seen anybody since I walked away from Rosalie and Alice, with the exception of Emmett and his warning last night.

"How are you?"

"I'm alive," I whispered in response.

"That's not what I meant."

"It's the only answer I have."

Jasper sighed and scooted his chair closer to mine and leaned in as close as he could. I knew he was only trying to help. I knew he was being the friend he always had been to me, but after everything that had happened, I was beginning to feel pressured, and I didn't think I could handle any more advice right now.

"Bella, you know you can talk to me."

"What do you want me to say, Jasper?" I hissed under my breath. "That my heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest? That I can barely breathe without hurting? That I long for that blissful moment when I first wake up, the moment before everything floods my consciousness?"

Tears were flooding my eyes and it took more effort than I thought I had to swallow them. I felt horrible about lashing out at everybody, but I couldn't help it. I was defensive; I was trying to make it through another day without breaking completely. They had to at least understand that much.

"I'm sorry."

"So am I," I offered earnestly.

Jasper sat up straight as the teacher headed toward us. I looked down at my own book and pretended to read, even though the words bled together in front of my eyes. I was beginning to hate myself, all of this self-loathing and wallowing was doing nothing but making me sound more and more like a whining, petulant child. I needed to do something, anything. Snapping at people because I was in pain did nothing to help me get over all of this; it did nothing to stop the pain from seeping into the marrow of my bones.

"You know," Jasper whispered as soon as it was safe. "There's nothing for you to apologize about. I know you're hurting, Bella, I just want you to know that I'm here, that you can talk to me about this. You promised me that being with Alice would do nothing to change our friendship, but you're avoiding me."

"Jazz . . ."

"Miss Cullen," Mr. Crawford said coming up behind me and making me cringe. "What is so important that you can't wait until after class?"

"I was asking Jasper what I missed yesterday, sir."

"Yes, well if you'd have been here you would have known, Miss Cullen."

I nodded swallowing the argument that rose in my throat. I hated that I was being judged for missing one day. Getting caught meant that it was going to be rubbed in my face like I was some stoner that cut every day. One mistake was going to hang over my head for weeks.

Mr. Crawford moved on, his long strides carrying him further down the classroom so he was looking over the shoulder of the other students. Jasper elbowed me lightly, to show me that he understood, that he was sorry for getting us caught.

I shrugged and pulled out a slip of paper from my note book, my eyes making sure Mr. Crawford wouldn't catch me doing this either.

_You're one of my best friends, stop being so dramatic! I'm not avoiding you. I'm avoiding everyone. I just need time and I will be fine. I can't think!_

I slid the paper over to Jasper but kept my eyes on Mr. Crawford so he wouldn't see the exchange. The last thing I needed today was for the note to be read out loud. The day was bad enough without that being added to the list as well.

I stared down at my book, pretending to make notes while Jasper scribbled out a reply next to me. I tried to avoid looking around the room. I knew that Ben was in here somewhere and I really didn't want to find his eyes on me as well. I knew Angela would have told him what happened and the last thing I needed was another sympathetic stare to go along with Jasper's comments. It was just too much.

Jasper slid the paper to me and went back to his own reading.

_Think then! But we are here to help you Bella. We're your friends, just as much as we are Edward's. We're not taking sides and I refuse to push you into something you're not ready for. I heard what happened with Rose and I understand why you said what you did. Don't block us out! I am here if you need to talk or even if you just wanna get groped!_

I rolled my eyes and smiled for Jasper's benefit. It was something we shared from our early friendship and something we still teased one another with, even while we were dating other people. Alice and Edward — I cringed at my mental use of his name — had always simply ignored it. It had been Bella and Jasper doing their usual pointless flirting. I'd missed it.

_Thank you_. I scribbled with a smiley face next to it. _You always know how to make me smile!_

Somehow, Jasper had brought down my guard. The next couple of classes I had with him eased by with little to no mental breakdowns. I had adopted him as my security blanket for the day and it seemed to be working. Well at least until it came to the class I had without him. Angela and Alice were absent because of some extra curricular thing they'd signed up for. I hadn't even been aware of what day it was, so the apology I had been practicing in the class before hand had been pointless.

I felt Izzy's steely eyes on me as I slid into my seat and pulled out my book. I tried to keep a small natural smile on my lips but it was more difficult than I'd thought it would have been. Jasper's easy company was fading and I was alone in the snake pit, the viper in the room ready to strike at any moment. I knew Izzy too well to even imagine she could keep the gloating to a minimum.

The feelings I had toward her now were similar to those I had for our mother. If I was being honest it's who she reminded me of. This was typical of something Renée would have done. They were both selfish, so much so that I could imagine both of them considered narcissism was a compliment.

For the first time today, I hung back when the bell rang, I didn't want to hear her nasally voice reminding me of what happened, I couldn't be responsible for my actions if she started pressing buttons again. Violence wasn't a cure for any situation, but I just couldn't guarantee I would be strong enough to walk away from that.

I packed my things slowly, my peripheral vision on her so I could time my exit just right. Unfortunately, I hadn't waited long enough. I gripped the frame of the door with surprise as my eyes found the scene in the hall. I wasn't ready, and seeing them together was just too much for my mind to handle.

Izzy was stood facing Edward, I could see his anger as they hissed at one another under their voices, but Izzy's smile never faltered once. It hung there, smug like the cat that finally got the cream. My consternation was like a raging bull hitting me in the gut. She already thought she'd won something.

I tried to slip past them without being seen. It was too late to slip back into the classroom and if I stood here much longer one of them would notice me. I needed to get away. Before Izzy gave me one of her comments, before Edward tried to explain again. I thought I had been building up to talk to him, that I was calm enough to finally hear what he had to say, but seeing them together, face to face like this, it took away everything I had thought and filled me with the reinforced knowledge of what I really felt, and I wasn't ready.

The moment my shoes hit the linoleum and the heel made an echoing contact, the two heads turned to me. The green of Edward's eyes were dark as they held mine. I knew it was from anger, but somewhere in my head my own traitorous mind reminded me that it was the same shade they became when he was aroused. The knowledge was too much for me, it sent me past the precarious ledge I had been teetering on and threw me into no man's land. There was no dignity in what I did next; all of my self-coaching flew out of the window forgotten as I took off at a sprint. I didn't even know where I was going, the direction was unclear, I just moved.

I disgusted myself. Yet again I had said nothing, done nothing, but flee like a sheep in the wolves clutches. There seemed to be no end to my cowardice. Leah would have screamed and shouted, confronted them both while they were stood there together, but I couldn't do it, I wasn't Leah and I wasn't strong enough to do that.

My heels clattered against the ground to a staccato beat, echoing from the wall to the lockers like a never-ending beat. The sound of the flat thud of feet behind me told me Edward was following, but I couldn't stop, not even to turn around and confront him. The pain in my chest was like a knife twisting; I was falling apart again.

"Bella, you have to talk to me eventually," Edward shouted behind me as I ran myself into a corner. It was the music corridor, the rooms were all filled with the muffled sounds of laugher and music, not fitting the trapped animal feel that had my heart pounding in my chest and my breath burning my lungs.

"No," I mumbled, my hands slamming against the wall. It wasn't an answer to his comment but more a resigned denial of my situation. This was going to make matters so much worse.

"I know why you hate me, I can even understand it, but Bella I didn't know and nothing happened."

I slid along the wall, my heart drowning out the words he was saying. I wasn't ready was a mantra in my head as I sidestepped with my front against the wall. I just needed to get past him and I would be free, I just needed to . . .

Hands slammed against the wall either side of my body making me jump, my body trembled as my heart picked up to a thunderous roar. It echoed in my ears making the heaving breath in my chest sound hollow and pointless.

I was aware of his breath shifting the hair on my shoulders and I fought my own body's reaction to him. I fought my eyes closing with the need, my heart's stutter of happiness at being so close to him. His natural musk surrounded me as he leaned in closer, his mouth at my ear.

I missed him.

I couldn't even lie to myself anymore. Every inch of my body, every lick of my skin ached for him. His silence was like a balm easing me into the closeness. Not talking was good, excuses would push me away, just letting my body remember him was so much easier.

It didn't last. It couldn't.

I knew that all too well, yet the inhale before he spoke was like a stone thrown at a glass house, it brought all the wrong to the front and shattered the rightness of the moment.

"Bella . . ."

"Don't," I whimpered, my head pressing against the cool painted drywall. "I'm not ready."

"I am," Edward pleaded; the pain in his voice was like a knife to the gut. "I miss you. This has been so blown out of proportion. If you would just listen to me, let me tell you what happened you'll see that this isn't as bad as it all looks."

My body shuddered into realization, the pain and need bleeding into the heated anger that filled my body. His closeness wasn't endearing anymore it was a violation. Telling me my emotions were unfounded wasn't exactly the way to get me to listen; in fact, I could feel the rigidity setting in muscles. I was becoming irrational and there was nothing I could do to stop what was coming.

"So you're saying that my behavior is _unjustified_?" I snapped, turning around and ducking under his arm. I was on the open end of the corridor, freedom licking at my back like a breeze.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. You're twisting my words, Bella. I didn't know it wasn't you, I didn't know that it was Izzy, she was crying hysterically and I couldn't get her to talk, she . . ." Edward stopped, I could imagine what he saw in my eyes as he talked, the blank stare, the void where the tension in my body was. I knew it was too soon, I knew I wouldn't be able to hear the justification in his words, and I knew I would hear only excuses. I just never knew I would see him as a liar. "Bella, please."

I took a step back from him; the longing bleeding into my anger was confusing me.

"I can't, Edward."

"You can't what?"

"I can't be here."

"That's bullshit. You're here, now, but you won't listen to what I'm saying. You're so goddamn stubborn, Bella. You know I . . ."

"I have to go." I could hear the emptiness in my own voice as I turned around to walk away, I took a step and heard a soft one follow mine and I stopped turning to face him. "Please, don't follow me."

"No, you're not going to walk away from this, Bella. You're overreacting."

"Fuck you, Edward," I growled and turned on my heel, my feet carried me easily as I ran this time, all I could hear behind me was the echo of Edward's last exclamation.

"FUCK!"

I didn't run to the cafeteria, I didn't run to Esme, I ran to my car. I needed to get out, no matter what I had promised my father I couldn't obey him this time. Maybe I was being petty and immature and that was fine. Right now I didn't care enough to even think about the consequences. Right now I just wanted out of this place. I wanted some kind of normal.

I sped through the streets toward our house and hoped dad had gone to work rather than coming home. His car was gone when I got there, so I climbed out of the Infiniti and went to the pool house. I had planned on staying there, but the claustrophobia was too much as I paced. I even imagined the haunting eyes on me again as I made my way from one end to the other in a desperate march. Images of Peter seemed to fill my mind with the images of Edward and Izzy and it was suffocating me.

All of my hairs stood on end like they always did, and that feral icy finger picked it's way down my spine possessively, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I rationalized it as being part of the overwhelming emotions and the mental collision my mind was about to encounter.

I clawed at the collar of my uniform, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe and I couldn't think. The walls were closing in around me as my chest ached with the need for air. I needed to get out of here; I needed to go somewhere where no one would think I could be. Somewhere I could be on my own for a couple of days.

I needed to go home.

Leah and Sue would be there, I knew that, but if I hid my car down the road a little in the mess of trees that lined the road, I could walk a mile up to the house and have it to myself for a day or two before I was discovered. Without my car being there, Leah would never suspect me being there.

It was selfish of me to run from everyone, but I needed this. I needed this one selfish act so I could think and be alone for a while.

I moved to my dresser and started throwing things in the duffel bag I had used to come down here. The irony wasn't lost on me. Once so desperate to be here, now I was desperate to get away. The worst part about it was avoiding Leah. I told her everything and I knew she would be on my side, but she would also take it on herself to ease everyone's panic and tell them where I was. I didn't want to be found. I wanted to think. Alone.

The moment I was on the freeway, I relaxed. The feeling that had plagued me as I packed had gone, the claustrophobia that had been closing in melted, and the pain flew like a bird finding its wings. It was debilitating; the only function I had was the basic motor skills as my mind ran on autopilot. I knew it was dangerous to drive that way but it was also liberating. I opened the window of my car and let the cool air envelope me as I shrunk into my sweater.

To keep my mind occupied, I went through the spots I could hide my car. Leah had been so good at that when she wanted to skip school, but I knew I couldn't use any of her favorite spots. She still skipped to spend time with Jacob on his days off, and if she found my car she'd know I was there and exactly where to find me. I cringed, thinking about what I would do if she and Jacob chose to use the key I'd given her while I was there. I guess I'd have to cross that bridge when I came to it.

Finding a spot for the car didn't take as long as I'd thought it would. It seemed that this whole place would never really be unfamiliar to me. I knew exactly where to go, the first year Leah drove she had found a spot down by the bayou. It was perfect for winter, but in the summer she'd been scared by a gator so she'd never used it since. Seeing as it was winter I felt okay about leaving it here, I backed in where I knew it wouldn't be seen and deceptively pulled some fallen branches across the path I'd used.

I slowly made my way through the trees to mamére's house, taking all the back routes so no one would see me. Old Mr. Uley almost caught me as he fed his dogs, but thankfully he stepped back inside and gave me a chance to run to the covered porch and slip into the house unseen.

Mamére's house was still filled with her possessions, everything reminded me of her. Everything made the pain worse, but also better somehow. Everything I had been holding off flooded me. I fell into mamére's room and curled up on the comforter, finally letting all of my emotions take over completely.

The inky blackness was a welcome companion.

* * *

**A/N: Ok so some of you may be disappointed in Edward's "Explanation" I know I am playing with fire here! I realize that. Izzy played her cards well, she said nothing to him, because she realized he would know it was her, she didn't look at him, so there was no eye color revealed nor did she show her face. In all honesty, there was no telling them apart for Edward, but Bella still believes he should have known. It's a complicated situation and I am not justifying anything just yet.**

**Thank you to my beta, Annabanana :) She rocks! **

**To my girls, miztrezboo, bendingmirrors, hev99 and newmoonaholic . . . thank you for always being there and keeping me sane. You guys are awesome and I love you all like crazy!**

**A huge thank you to everyone who has reviewed, the last couple of chapters have been tough, but your honest and passion towards the characters really does floor me. You've been so very patient with me and we're truly on the downward spiral now! I love all of you guys and every week you continue to amaze me. Thank you for everything! I am considering posting again on Friday this week . . . any thoughts?  
**

**Much love and HUGE hugs ~Weezy~  
**


	43. Wake Up Call

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some subtle plot points in the beginning were inspired by V.C. Andrews the song and lyrics belong to the respective band and their record label and the rest is from my strange mind. Proceed with Caution!  
_**

* * *

**Wake Up Call**

_I visited Russia and I started folding_  
_until in one precious doll I had hoarded_  
_all of Siberia; I said, "Love, here ya_ _go."_  
_She said: _ _"Too little too late." _  
_**Russia by Ramona Falls**_

_**

* * *

**_

The house was so black when I woke up I knew something was wrong. There was no glow from the digital alarm clock on the nightstand and the gentle hum of the refrigerator was absent. I sat up slowly and rubbed my forehead with my hand, the headache from crying myself to sleep was evident, and it pounded behind my eyes unforgiving and relentless. But it was the cool air that filled the house made me shudder.

I climbed from the bed and stumbled toward the window to see if the whole place was out or if it was just me. If it was just me, I would have to make my way over to Leah's and reveal myself long before I was ready to.

I'd only taken two steps when a chill crawled down my spine and lanced into my stomach. It was the same feeling I'd been having for months but so much stronger it almost made me double over with the shock of it.

I froze, half way between the bed and the window, my body rigid with panic. The solace I'd hoped for was now swirling into my worst nightmare. No one knew where I was. I was alone and vulnerable; whatever had been following me for months seemed to know it too. It was close, so dangerously close.

The creak of the floorboard from the front of the house echoed through like a gunshot in silence. It stopped my heart in my chest and the breath in my lungs. My head spun with the terror, as I tried to think of a way out of this situation.

My lungs screamed with the need for breath and I had to force myself to comply as my heart took off in a thunderous gallop that echoed in my temples. I tried to remember the feeling of the unseen eyes from all the other times and this was the same but different. This felt dangerous where the others had felt curious. There was something sinister in the way I felt and I couldn't shift it, nor could I shake the ice that seemed to close around my limbs like my fear had taken on a solid form and clung to me in desperation.

I tried to take a step toward the window, but a shadow passing and elongating in the dim light outside made me stumble two back. There was no pounding heart now; it was lodged in my throat choking me as I tried to keep the strength in my legs. It wasn't fear, it was terror leaching the blood from my face and making me light headed.

I couldn't let this take over; I couldn't give my fear the power to count me out before anything had happened. Maybe I was just hallucinating; maybe my subconscious had pulled me into a too real nightmare that I couldn't wake from because it was easier than dealing with everything else in my life. If that was the case it had worked and I was ready to wake up. The fear had eaten away at the pain and left me cold and afraid with no escape.

A creak on the floorboard at the front of the house had me spinning on my feet again, but the combination of bad equilibrium and weak legs made gravity grip it's steely hands and pull me to the ground. My hands reached out to stop my fall but it was too dark to see the nightstand as my head smashed against it.

If I was dizzy before it was nothing compared to how I felt now, and the pain was like a knife twisting against my skull as the white dots of perfect light flashed behind my eyes.

I smelt the blood before I felt the warmth seeping over my forehead. My hair stuck in the slow stream as I rolled to my back and tried to stand up. Fatigue washed over me like a companion I had missed, but the adrenaline pumped through my system like an antivenin clearing the cobwebs from my mind.

The noise had been at the front again, was it headed toward the back again now, or was there more than one person? I pushed myself from the ground and wobbled on my jellied legs, the darkness making the disorientation worse than it already was. I could see the faint light outside the window so I knew that was the window and the door was behind me.

Moving carefully, my hands felt for the handle but froze as the shadow passed by once again. Whoever it was, they were circling the house slowly, creeping so they didn't make any noise. I knew this house better than the back of my hand, I could make my way to the front and wait for it to pass around the back and sneak out to make a run for Sue's. If I was quick enough they wouldn't even know I'd left, but I didn't know if I was capable of running in a straight line while my head was swimming like this.

Then it hit me, my phone. It was in the living room in my purse. My purse was on the couch. I could move through this house soundlessly, I'd done it when I sneaked out to go to a party a hundred times when I was younger.

I twisted the handle in my grip and stepped forward silently. I stepped out of the doors path and slipped up slowly to the frame that lead to the small hall and living room. My fingers gripped the frame and even without the light I knew I was white knuckling it. My heart pounded with fear as the shadow passed one of the windows on the side of the house.

I froze again hoping that the shadow wouldn't have seen my movement, but it's continued path forward told me it hadn't. I stood completely still, watching as it passed another window. Every survival instinct in my body seemed to scream at me to do something as fight or flight kicked in, but I had to be smart about this.

I waited another minute as the creak from floorboard echoed through the silent house. I had known it was coming, but it didn't stop the shiver of fear making the hair at the back of my neck stand on end. I'd thought it was another sweep past the front of the house and waited for the lurking shadow to pass, but it never did. I waited with baited breath; my hearts pounding ringing in my ears as I mentally calculated how long it too to make it across the porch.

Had I missed it? Had they already passed? I moved to take a step forward, but the muscles in my body screamed to a halt.

The shadow I'd been waiting for appeared at the door and stopped. I could see the form of a man cut perfectly through the thin muslin curtain that hung there, he had wide shoulders, thick arms and legs that seemed to bleed together with the shadows. The form leaned forward, the shapes of the arms moving to cradle the head shaped shadow against the glass. If it could see the dim light behind me it would make out my form against it. As much as my fear locked me to the spot, I knew I had to move.

In a split second decision, I slid outside the door and pressed my back against the wall. Shallow breaths made my chest rise and fall infinitesimally. I turned my head and pressed it in line with the rest of me so my body was as flat as it could possibly be against the sheetrock. The shadow moved, one of the arms moving to the door handle and for a second fear ripped through me like a knife through butter, and a mantra sprang into my mind. Please say I locked the door; please tell me I wasn't stupid enough to leave it unlocked. The handle flashed in the dull gray of the room as it turned, but the door stayed in its frame, a barrier between me and whatever was trying to get inside.

The shadow moved as though it took a step back, the head turning left and right before it continued it's circuit around the house again.

My breath blew from my mouth making my cheeks flare and swell from the effort. The feeling I had been experiencing all this time hadn't been me losing my mind after all. It was real, so very real and now it was here to collect on whatever the hell it wanted. Why now? Why while I was alone and nobody knew where I was?

Because it's convenient, stupid! I reprimanded myself. No one around, no one knowing where I was. It was probably waiting for an opportunity like this.

The rattling breath I dragged in made my throat feel like a hot poker had been forced down with it. My hand lifted to my neck and rubbed gently. I could hear the muted muffle of the leaves by the kitchen as the large footsteps continued around the house and the fear once again replaced the irritation I had with myself. I needed my phone, and I needed it now.

I counted slowly as the nose passed the window without incident and tiptoed to the shape of the couch. My hands ran along the material as I dropped to my knees feeling for the shape of my purse and the salvation I knew it held.

"Come on, come on," I whispered to myself, trying to force a regulated breath through my body while I searched. It had to be in here somewhere. I had put my phone on vibrate in the car at some point because I couldn't handle talking to anyone, and the minute I didn't show up at home after school dad would try and hunt me down. I had dumped it in my purse and left it there hoping nothing would alert me to it. I remembered that, even with the haze of fear suffocating me.

I stifled the cry of relief when my hands brushed the supple leather of the purse I'd dumped so haphazardly on the couch. My keys rattled in the folds of the purse as I pulled it toward me urgently. I froze, listening for the now constant steps around the house, but there was nothing but silence to greet me.

I huddled into a ball as small as I could get and as close to the ground as the couch and table would allow me to. Had they heard me? Or were they just too far out of my hearing range to hear? Whatever it was it didn't matter. I had to move, I had to get help now. I was falling apart, my sanity hanging on by a tenuous thread that would snap at any second if the fear gained more control.

Moving slowly, I parted the top of the purse and dipped my hand inside, praying that the keys wouldn't shift and give me away anymore than they already had. My finger pressed against everything in the bag looking for the one shape I needed. They hit something solid and curled around the smooth object as I pushed back yet another sob of joy. I wasn't safe yet and I couldn't afford to be careless. One wrong move and the shadow would know exactly where I was and what I was doing.

I turned to look at the windows I could see before crouching around the phone and pulling a throw from the couch over my body. If I pressed a button the phone would light up, I just hoped the blanket would be enough to block it out so no one would see it. My hands moved the phone under the couch a little and pulled the blanket tighter around my hands and me.

Taking a deep breath, I pressed the top button.

There was nothing, no wallpaper, no time, no date, nothing. I pressed the button again and held it down praying that I had simply turned it off, but there was nothing, no indication that the thing was going to cooperate at all.

Pressing my fist into my mouth I stifled the sob that rocked me, and fought the urge to tear from the house and run. I had to be smart about this. I had to be certain of my timing if I really wanted a chance of getting away. I tried to listen for sounds of movement past the thunder of my own heart, but the blanket was making everything more muted that it already was. I pulled the fabric from over my head and blew at the strands of hair that fell in my face.

I heard nothing, but the subtle movement of the shadows from the bedroom I had inhabited told me everything I needed to know. If I was going to move it had to be now.

I moved slowly pulling my legs to my chest so my feet rather than my knees were on the floor. The adrenaline surged through me as I took another shaky, painful breath. I pushed up, my calves screaming with an ache that didn't belong. I'd been too tensed up; my whole body ached like a ball of locked muscles.

I wavered again as a wave of dizziness accompanied me to my full height. My hand moved to my forehead and the sticky warmth clung to my fingers. I was still bleeding. My thoughts slammed against the edges of my mind but all of it was so superficial. What did a concussion or head wound matter if I was dead? I needed to get my priorities in order if I wanted to get out of here. Any longer and he would be creeping around the front of the house again. I needed to move now. I needed to get the hell out of here.

I stumbled toward the door but caught myself and steadied my steps. I had one chance and I needed to take it. I had to try. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew this place like the back of my hand, I reminded myself. As soon as you're on the porch you know where to go.

My hand reached out toward the handle, and for the first time I noticed it shaking. The icy fear tightened its grip around my body and I fought the urge to fold in fear. He was out there. He was moving around the house and I needed to get out and go. I needed to escape. My hand touched the cool metal of the handle, but my body froze in fear. There was a creak behind me, too close for me to open the door, too close to get out and run. All of my senses were attuned to that sound and I knew exactly where he was in the room.

Maybe three feet back at most.

I still had to try though. I had to. I twisted the lock slowly and pulled, but a hand with an arm like the thick branch of an oak tree shot out, brushing the side of my face and slammed the wood against the frame locking me in.

"You really should lock your windows you know."

My body relaxed at the familiarity of the voice, although the false sense of security didn't last long. Even with the familiarity the cruel teasing in his tone made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. How had he found me? How did he even know about this place? I'd always felt odd around him for some reason, but this was outright fear. It chilled me to the bone while every one of my survival instincts screamed in my head.

He was dangerous. He'd always been dangerous but I was too blind to see it. Too naive. There was a reason my body reacted to him the way it had, and now I was in more trouble than I'd ever been.

"Surprise," he sang, his arm dropping to the lock and twisting it. He moved them away from the wood and glass and they wrapped around my stomach, pulling my back flush against his front. My skin crawled, it felt like a million ants marching over my skin.

"What . . . " I stuttered, my voice betraying me and showing the fear that encompassed me. "Why are you here?"

"Oh come on, Bella. I know you felt it too. The night you came to the house torn apart because of what he did. The minute you settled in my arms I knew. Tell me you feel it."

"James, please," I wept, my eyes closing as I prayed for some kind of miracle to happen. "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?" he growled, his thick arms drawing tighter around my body so pain shot through my spine. He was upset, angry; I had to keep him calm. "You're mine. You have been since I took you home that night. If you hadn't have been so . . ."

"So?" I prompted, wincing at the pain as he squeezed again.

"If you hadn't have thrown it up, you and I would have been together that night and I wouldn't have had to wait."

"What?" My mind was so shredded with the very real fear around me I couldn't process what he was saying. That night? I tried thinking back through everything; every shred of time I had ever spent with him and my blood ran cold. "It was you. You spiked my drink."

"You really think your sister is smart enough to think about something like that?" he seethed, his fingers curling against my sweater. "She's what fucked the whole thing up with that stupid plan of hers. You were too drunk and stubborn."

My body reacted before I could even think about what I was doing. I struggled against his arms and fought his embrace, my arms pushed against his as my legs swayed and kicked to get myself free from his grip. It took me a while to come to my senses, but the pain of his arms against my bones beat me to the punch.

I moaned in pain, my fingers digging into the flesh of his arms to coax him to loosen his grip.

"Stop trying to fight me, Bella." he breathed, his hot damp breath blowing on my neck. I whimpered from fear and tried not to struggle again, but my body was repulsed by being so close to him, by the intimacy of his embrace.

"Please don't do this, James."

"Don't do what?" he cooed, his lips on the side of my neck. "You have no idea what I have planned."

Did it really matter? I thought desperately. Whatever it was wasn't going to be good. I would fight him with everything I had. I didn't know what he wanted. I didn't know why he was here. Yet I knew he would take it without question.

"Why do you fight how you feel about me?"

Anger boiled my blood and mingled with the adrenaline that had kicked into high gear with my fear. I could get out of his grasp; I'd done those personal safety classes. The anger seemed to clear the fog of fear that clouded my mind. I could do this. All I needed was a head start and I could make a run for it.

"Well?" he demanded, rattling me against his body before he groaned. The sick fuck was getting off on it.

"I'm not," I gritted through my teeth as I let my feet find grip on the rug below me. "I hate you, there's no reason to hide that."

My foot came down on his instep and my head flew backward with every bit of strength I had. The sick crunch of my skull against his face echoed through the house as his arms loosened around me. I took my chance and sprung free of his arms, ignoring the dizziness that seemed to make my steps falter. I didn't let it hinder me. I took off running, my feet pounding against the floor as I headed back toward my old bedroom. The clarity of my anger had told me that was how he'd gotten in. I hadn't locked it after shouting to Seth that morning, just pulled it closed. If I could make it . . .

A weight that felt like a brick wall hit me in the back and I fell forward. I hadn't made it far enough and I fell through the coffee table, the splinters falling like rain as I hit the ground hard. The panting growl behind me made it obvious what had hit me. It was James.

The pain shot through my body, all of my limbs pounding as my head swam. I fought with everything I was to stay awake because I didn't trust him. I didn't know what he was capable of. I needed to keep my wits about me.

"Now why would you go and do a thing like that?" he panted, spitting blood into the debris of the table. He was crazy. It was the only reasonable answer I could come up with. Why else would he be doing this? Why else would he see something that wasn't there?

Hot wet tears spilled from my lids and slipped silently down my cheeks as I finally realized just how much trouble I was in. This couldn't be happening. This was the kind of thing you saw in the movies where they ran up the stairs instead of finding a way out. This was the thriller that had an obsessed stalker following the women home from night clubs and harassing them while they killed off all their loved ones. This couldn't be real, this didn't really happen.

But I knew it did. The irrationality of my own mind passed slowly as I struggled under the weight of James' body. I honestly didn't know what he was going to do next.

"I didn't want to hurt you, Bella. If you try that again though, I'm going to have to tie you up, and that really doesn't establish the trust I was hoping we could build."

"Are you crazy?" I sobbed. My head a swirling vortex making the words thick on my tongue. I took a long blink trying to clear it before continuing. "Trust is earned, James. Following me around for months, breaking into my home, attacking me. None of that makes me trust you."

"After everything I did to protect you? You still can't trust me?"

"What are you talking about?" I choked, finding it even harder to breathe under his weight now.

He rolled from my back and pulled me up so I was sat in the folds of his lap, his arms a prison holding me in place with my back once against his chest. He learned from his mistakes though, and my head sat against his shoulder.

"I saw the way they looked at you. I saw the way they tried to possess you. I did what I could for you."

"What are you talking about?" I shuddered, my body revolting against its contact with his as the words sank in.

"That kid in the bus station. I saw how he looked at you, but you're mine, Bella. Mine. Peter, he deserved what happened to him. I heard Angela and Ben talking. No one will treat you that way while you're mine. Masen's a fuck up, I was the one that took care of that."

I pushed my back against his chest in a desperate attempt to get away from him, the panicked sobs falling from my lips as I twisted in his arms, but it only made his grip tighter around me. My back slid down his body, but his hands formed tight manacles around my wrists as I fought and twisted.

"You're the one that hurt Seth?" I cried out hysterically kicking my legs and twisting. "He's like my kid brother you fucking psycho. What did you do to Peter?"

"What, are you defending him now?" James asked, his voice falling and rising as he tried to keep hold of me. "What he did was wrong, I taught him a lesson he won't forget."

"My God, you're insane. You've lost your fucking mind. HELP, SOMEBODY, HELP ME! PLEASE I . . ." My screaming was cut off by a dead weight slamming against my face, his paw of a hand was cutting off the air to my mouth and nose. I struggled, unable to breathe as I writhed more than I had been. Only this time it was a need for air.

My struggling body slowly lost the energy with the last of my breath. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe.

James pulled his hands away and I chocked in the air with desperate gulps. The tangible fear that slowed my blood and stopped my heart returned. Whatever I'd been thinking he was going to do, I had been wrong, so very wrong. James wasn't going to hurt me, I realized, suddenly cold. He was going to kill me.

"I warned you Bella," James growled, pushing me from his lap so I landed face first in the splinters of wood. I could feel the sharper shards pushing against my stomach through the sweater I was wearing. "I didn't want to tie you up, but you leave me no choice."

"No please," I whimpered. If I was tied there was no way of escaping. I was stuck in this house with no help and a psycho. "Please, don't do this, James."

James rolled to his knees and placed one on my back as the sound of his belt buckle opening filled the room. Overcome with terror I started to cry, the sobs that wracked my body ground the wood under me further into my body. I felt the leather bind one of my wrists and struggled to keep the other out of his grasp. I was hysterical and quickly losing control.

"No, no, please, no. Don't do this, don't do this, please."

"Bella," James sighed, slight frustration in his tone as he captured my flailing hand. He bound it with the other so tight I could feel the leather against my bones. When he was finished he leaned forward, his fingers brushing my hair from my face as his knee buried deeper in my back. "It's rude to talk when I haven't finished, so maybe a gag is in order too?"

I choked on my sob and shook my head. I couldn't find words to get past the lump in my throat. All of this time he'd been following me around. All of this time he'd been lying to my face when he saw me. Played off as the sweet, persistent guy who held out hope of having his crush reciprocate his feelings. I never suspected him. Not once.

"Sorry, I want to finish what I was saying, and you keep interrupting."

He found something to use as a gag while I struggled against the binds on my wrist, but there was no moving them, there were too tight. My eyes followed him to the kitchen as I flopped on the floor like a fish out of water. I would fight to the end–he had to know that. I would fight because I didn't want the last words I said to Edward to be a curse. I didn't want the last words to my friends being bitter twisted poisoned words that were filled with annoyance. I wanted to forgive Izzy and tell her how sorry I was her life was like this. I wanted to see dad and hug him one more time and tell him that I loved him. And I wanted to see Edward smile, I wanted to see his eyes brighten like they always did, I wanted to tell him I loved him.

"Here we go," he said happily, spinning a dishtowel into a thin line. "This should work, and it's clean."

"Fuck you!" I spat, taking my chances. It would be worth it to hear that satisfied air in his voice fade.

It didn't. Instead I was rewarded with his amusement. "You really are stubborn aren't you?"

The dry cotton of the towel moved over my mouth, I pressed my lips together still fighting the inevitable. He was going to get his own way, but I wouldn't be making it easy for him. With a stoic calm he waited patiently, and when I didn't cooperate, he pinched my nose with his finger and thumb.

The action reminded me of something from cartoons that had been done a million times. It was stupid to think that it would work, all I had to do was part my lips enough to allow air to travel in, my lungs screamed painfully at the shallow breaths I took when my body demanded gulps, but it was enough to put up a fight.

Finally, his patience wilted. My satisfaction ran through my body and ended with a cheer in my head. It probably wasn't smart to piss him off, but this creepy calm was worse than him yelling and screaming in anger. Rage I could handle, it was an emotion that fit with this situation.

In a single move his hands moved from my nose to my jaw. His fingers cutting into the flesh and making my jaw ache painfully.

"You can't fight me. I did this so we could be together."

I tried to shake my head from his grip but the pain was too much. My body started reacting without conscious thought, shying away from the pain.

"That's it," James mumbled. "Good girl, just a little more . . ."

I felt the cotton against my teeth and shuddered. He'd won. He'd gotten his way yet again and the flicker of anger had already gone from his face. Only a smile of victory was there now.

"Much better, now I can talk with no interruptions," he said, tying the gag tightly and catching my hair in the process. I cringed as the action pulled at the follicles sending sharp pains through me.

He rolled up onto his feet and paced for a moment, his hands running over his newly shaved head. I hadn't even noticed the shorter cut before. Being on my stomach on the floor, I moved my eyes to his feet and the deliberate steps he took as he marched forward and back along the wood floor.

I rested my cheek on the floor in front of me, hoping there were no shards of wood below me, the ones digging into my stomach and ribs were already too much to bare, and the binding of my wrists made the flesh feel ablaze as though doused with fire. My whole body ached and burned.

"Hey, hey," James shouted, his feet coming toward me before he dropped to his stomach so we were nose to nose. His fingers ran down the length of my jaw gently. In a last act of defiance I turned my head. "Stay with me, Bella. You need to hear this."

His fingers tangled in my hair, his nails scratched at my scalp and then released again.

"I came up with a way for us to be together, you know. You could at least listen," he cooed. He lifted my head and met my eyes square on. The calm look he had unnerved me. "They won't let you go easily, this is the only way. I promise I will hold you before I join you."

I scrunched my eyes closed and shuddered. He wasn't being very descriptive, but it wasn't needed. I could see what he meant. I knew exactly what he was saying.

"Then I will take my own life. We will be together then and no one can touch us."

Murder–suicide.

My eyes flickered open to read his expression, and my blood froze in my veins. I'd thought he was doing it for a reaction. I'd never thought he could be serious. But the look in his eyes proved me wrong.

* * *

**A/N: I am hiding for real now! Some of you expected this, and to others this may have not been where you thought this was going . . . in case you were wondering about the Friday post, I figured you wouldn't want to wait a week to see the next chapter. **

**Thank you to Annabanana for her mad betaing skills. And a huge thanks as always to Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic for reading through these and saying very little other than notes at the end. I think I may have shocked you, but yet you hold my hands anyway, no matter how cruel I am to Bella, and for that I thank you. I am honored to be allowed to call you friends! **

**Thank you as always to each and everyone of you who review. Whether you're outraged, mad as hell, sympathetic or unhappy, you always manage to keep an open mind which i know isn't always easy! Thank you for being so amazing! I love each and every one of you! Thank you so much! **

**Much Love and huge hugs ~Weezy~**


	44. Darkness

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some subtle plot points in the beginning were inspired by V.C. Andrews the song and lyrics belong to the respective band and their record label and the rest is from my strange mind. Proceed with Caution!  
_**

* * *

**Darkness**

_It's your face_  
_ Where are we?_  
_ Save me_  
_ **You, Appearing by M83**_

_**

* * *

**_

My whole body felt like a tuning fork that was tapping to the Riverdance. I couldn't control anything now that the fear had penetrated my blood. My heart was a raging thump in my ears and my head swam with such intensity I didn't think I could hold on to my consciousness much longer.

"You look almost green. I promise it won't hurt. I did my research. You and me, we're going to be going out in a blaze of glory. Everyone will know we secretly loved one another."

I gagged against the cloth in my mouth, the bile rising up in my throat like acid. James moved quickly, tugging the material down my face so it slipped around my neck. I purged, what little was in my stomach falling to the ground in front of me as hot, fat tears streamed down my face.

James had rolled out of the line of fire as soon as he'd seen me struggle; he was currently holding my hair back as I continued to wretch.

"Sorry, come on let's move you away from that mess," he said, rolling me onto my back and into his arms before my tied arms screamed in protest. He moved me across the room easily and placed me on my side on the other side of the living room.

"Water, please?" I asked, the taste in my mouth foul.

"Right, sure," he mumbled, pushing to his feet and heading into the kitchen. Without his watchful eyes and the chips of wood in my body, I tried once again to get free of the bindings on my wrists. I could easily get to my feet but that wouldn't help; he was only going to be gone seconds and there was no way of opening the door quickly.

I stopped struggling the moment his feet came into my line of sight. He knelt in front of me, tilted my head back with his free hand, and placed the glass to my lips. He tilted slowly, the cool stream of liquid easing my throat and clearing the acidic taste.

"Better?"

I nodded and rolled onto my stomach again, my cheek resting against the cool ground. I tried not to give up hope, but everything I'd never done seemed to be a stream of consciousness through my foggy mind. Senior year, graduation, college, wedding, children, I would get to do none of these things.

"Okay, I'm going to go to get the things I brought with me now that you've calmed down. I don't want to hurt you, Bella, but I will if you try anything stupid."

I ignored him and took in deep breaths. I would rather be killed escaping than die in his arms like some twisted version of Romeo and Juliet.

He sighed heavily above me, and I heard him shift his weight as he rose to his feet. Pain filtered through my whole body, as I even considered moving. I tried to take stock of my injuries as I watched the feet pad across the floor to my old bedroom. It seemed I had been right. That was his point of entry.

I waited a minute before I pushed to my knees with a silent groan of pain. My movements were slow and sluggish, but I couldn't afford to be like this if I really wanted to escape. I had to push aside the pain and be stronger for once in my life.

I closed my eyes only for a second to gather strength, but that was all it took. A hand touched my shoulder and I recoiled. He'd been so quick. I'd thought I would have time to get out but he was back.

"Bella."

And now I was hallucinating.

That voice, so full of concern and fear, washed over me like a blanket of comfort. I tried to control the sob and steeled myself for the disappointment I knew would come when I opened my eyes. There was no way it could be the truth; no one knew where I was.

"Bella," he said with more conviction as the hand gently shook my shoulder. "Open your eyes, we don't have long."

I obeyed the voice, waiting for the empty room to greet me, but it wasn't empty. The dim light made his beautiful features more pronounced as the shadows lingered against his skin. His hair, sticking up like he'd run his hands through it a million times, stood unruly in a silhouette.

I choked back a sob, unsure whether I was really seeing him or if my eyes were as deceptive as my ears.

"Edward?"

His shoulders relaxed for a second before his hands moved to the binding of my own. He tugged at the leather, making it cut further into my skin, but I didn't complain and I didn't move. The release made the blood rush to my fingers like a thousand pins penetrating my hands.

I was free.

Without thinking, my arms wrapped around his neck as a breath of pure relief burned through my chest. I was so stupid. I should have listened to him, I should have known. Having to face death had made me realize that and having him in front of me now was like a beacon of light on the darkest night. I had treated him so unfairly, yet he'd still come to see me. He'd still had a hope.

"Are you okay? Can you walk?" he whispered, his head turning toward the room where James had made his exit.

"I'm so sorry, Edward," I whispered back, ignoring his question. I needed to say this because we weren't out of danger yet. James was out of his mind, and if he came back before we managed to escape, I had no doubt he would hurt Edward.

Edward's hands cradled my face as his lips pushed against mine in a rough, quick kiss.

"No time," he murmured, and moved to his feet, his hands taking mine and pulling me upright. "We have to go. Now!"

"Leaving so soon?"

A scream built in my chest as the cold voice finally showed more emotion than the irrational calm he'd addressed me with. Without thinking of the consequences, I stepped in front of Edward in an attempt to shield him from James. I wouldn't let him get hurt trying to protect me.

Not that it mattered. The moment I was in place, Edward swept me behind him, his hands on my waist holding me in place as his body leaned forward aggressively. "Fuck you, Webber. What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"See, I was about to ask you the same thing, Masen. Always have to get your own way, don't you? There's no one here to stop us now, though; you don't have your friends to back you up."

I could feel Edward's body tense as my hands found his back. The muscles in his back were making ridges dip and rise through his sweater. My hand ran up his spine as I looked around his body at James.

"Let him go, James," I pleaded, my heartbreak in my voice. "It's me you want. There's no reason for you to hurt Edward."

James laughed maniacally. His hands going to run over his shaved head again. It was then that I noticed the hunting knife in his hand, long and sharp, the minimal light bouncing from the surface as it moved. I tried to step out of Edward's grasp but his fingers tightened on my waist like a silent plea to not try anything stupid. I wanted to do what he asked. I wanted to be selfish enough to stay where I was, but the thought of Edward getting hurt was so much worse than the thought of dying. I knew I couldn't do it.

I stepped back, dodging Edward's searching hands as I skipped in front of him again. I wouldn't be moved this time.

"James, he's got nothing to do with this. You wanted my attention; you have it."

"Bella," Edward growled behind me, his hands once again finding my waist as he tried to guide me out of danger. But I stood my ground. I knew I had to.

"I told you we couldn't ever be alone. I told you they would come looking for you."

"I can send him away, James. No one else has to get hurt."

James shook his head and paced back and forth as Edward's breath moved the hair on my shoulders.

"I'm not leaving without you, Bella. So whatever you're planning, you can forget about it," Edward said under his breath.

James stopped, his eyes on me. They were narrowed and full of distrust. He held out one hand and broke into an arrogant smirk as his eyes lifted to Edward. His fingers curled like talons. "Then come to me."

My heart was like a steam train headed toward an unfinished bridge. To save Edward I could do this. I took a deep breath and felt Edward's increase with his panic and anger. His hot breath licked at my neck, my hair swinging gently over my shoulder. I couldn't hesitate much longer. It had to be now.

I took one step forward, but that was all. Edward's hands gripped me and pulled me back, swinging me toward the wall as he moved into a headfirst collision with James. I couldn't stop the scream falling from my lips now. My panic was it's own entity as I saw the flash of the blade in the midst of the fight.

There were dull crunches of flesh hitting flesh; the roar of the two guys grunting and growling expletives filled the room. The floor felt as though a hundred elephants were stampeding through. I watched, horrified, my eyes trained solely on the blade of the knife as the two fought for control.

James swung his arm towards Edward and the flash of light brought me back to reality. This wasn't just a fight and I couldn't just stand here and watch. I had to do something.

I sprinted toward the kitchen, throwing open the drawers, looking for anything that could help, metal clashing together revealed ladles and spoons but not a knife was in sight. I knew exactly where they should be but there was nothing in the drawer, nothing but wooden spoons and measuring cups.

My hand went to my head, tugging at the roots with anger and making the cut scream in protest.

Think, think, think! I chanted. Mamère had always been so prepared. This would have never happened. My hand fell from my head to the counter, my nerves screaming in protest as the edge dipped into my skin. A grunt from the living room was the only thing that pulled me back from the brink of falling apart.

Edward was in there. Edward was fighting with James—for me. I couldn't stand back and just let it happen. I needed something better than a knife I needed a . . .

The flash of memory hit me like a fully loaded Peterbilt steaming down the freeway. The night I found out about dad I had been in mamère's room, I had been going through her nightstand. There was a gun in her nightstand.

I pushed away from the counter and sprinted toward mamère's room with more purpose than I'd ever had in my life. I'd never shot a gun before in my life, but I knew the basics. Billy Black had a collection the size of Texas, and Leah had an appetite for destruction. I thought back to the day they'd shot cans off a fallen tree deep in the woods. I'd been too afraid to do it, but I'd listened to Jacob's instructions. I could do this. I had to do this.

I dropped to my knees before I'd stopped running and slid past the small cube. I scrambled on my hands and feet to regain the ground I'd lost and threw open the doors at the front. I tried to calm my breathing so I could find it in the dark. I went over that night in my head, the discovery had been overshadowed by Leah's call about finding what we'd been looking for.

It was on the top shelf. I remembered clearly sitting back in shock when I'd seen it. My hands moved into the dark enclosed space and I prayed Sue hadn't moved it when she cleaned the house after mamère died and I had left for New Orleans.

My wandering hands knocked over bottles and boxes of herbs, but nothing could describe the feeling that ran through my body when my fingers ghosted over the cool metal of the gun barrel. It was still there.

My fingers closed around it and my hand shook violently as the grip slid into my palm. I ran through Jacob's lesson, stumbling over things I couldn't recall. The safety, that was always the first thing to do when in trouble. Take off the safety. My thumb ghosted over the top of the grip, looking for the tiny switch on the side. I found it on the second sweep, hoping that it wasn't already off.

Pushing to my jellied legs, I ran blindly back into the living room where the fight had escalated. Edward was on his back, on the ground, and James hovered over him. I tried to find the sheen of the blade but there was nothing. James reared back on his legs and the glint of the knife stopped my heart. His body fell forward, and I fell to my knees in defeat.

Edward's body fell limp against the ground. His face grew paler in the dim light. The clunk of the metal beside me should have pulled me out of my shock, but it bore no weight with me. All I could think about was Edward and getting to him.

I scrambled across the ground, fear and anger driving me toward the one thing I should be running from. James' eyes were on the hilt of the knife in Edward's body. His hand moved to it, but I got there first, pushing his shocked body from Edward with more strength than I'd ever had in my life.

I was so cold, cold and hurt and terrified I was losing Edward. I heard James hit the ground but didn't heed the internal voice screaming at me to track him. All I could see, all I could think about was lying on the floor, his breathing so shallow I wasn't sure I was really feeling it as I leaned in over his body.

My hands ran through his bronze hair as I silently begged him to open his eyes. This couldn't be happening, Edward couldn't be dying. I pushed the sobs down my throat, fighting with everything I was to not give up hope, but even I knew what his shallow breaths and dwindling color meant.

I turned my head slowly, looking down through the little light I had at his perfect face. His eye lashes rested on his cheeks, the skin of his lids moving slowly as his eyes flitted beneath them. I leaned in closer, my lips dusting his.

"No!"

James' voice was full of rage, but it didn't register. It didn't even matter to me. Knowing Edward was growing weaker by the second made my will to fight drain from me. I barely even noticed the hand in my hair; pulling me to my feet he turned me to face him, his eyes furious.

"You're mine, Bella. Mine!"

I didn't say a word. I didn't fight. I didn't struggle. I was empty and numb.

"Fuck you," I said again, my voice hollow.

I knew I should have fought when the hands closed around my neck and squeezed, but I couldn't find the energy. I tried, I thought about Leah and Jacob, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, but the flicker of guilt was nothing compared to the thought of living without Edward.

My hands moved to the grip on my neck as my body struggled, my fingernails digging against the flesh of the hand. It was a reflex action, but it stirred something in me. A fire, starting in my belly, swam out and sent tendrils down my limbs. I was not going to die like this. I was not going to let him walk away.

My knee came up hard and fast and landed neatly against his junk. I could see the pain move over his face like a forest fire, his grip on my neck loosened and I pushed against him with my hands. He'd thought I'd given up.

I almost had.

Surprise had given me the advantage, but my disorientation brought us once again to level ground. My hand moved to my neck, rubbing the raw ache that had settled there, but I forced my feet to push me forward. I had to find the gun.

I stumbled through the room, my eyes on the ground so I could see the shape I so desperately needed. I knew it was close, I knew the area where I had fallen and loosened my grip. I stumbled again but saw the gun, black and severe in the shadows. It was two steps away. All I needed was two steps.

Arms closed around my waist, bringing me to the ground before I could take another step. My hands pushed out to stop the fall but the weight behind me was too much. The blood-curdling scream fell from my lips as the bone in my wrist made a sick crunch. I didn't have time to dwell on it though. The danger was very real and was making his way up my back.

His hand pushed my head against the cold hard floor and the pressure made nausea swell in my gut. He finally showed some emotion. He was finally pissed off.

"Fuck me? Jesus Christ, Bella. You really don't get it do you. You're mine. You have been since that first night. Don't you remember that kiss we shared?"

Kiss? My heart exploded once again into a canter in my chest. That first night! That first night with Izzy, when I met James. I couldn't remember a thing about that night.

"No," I gritted through my teeth, the sound coming out distorted because of the weight holding me down. "Can't remember a thing. Must have been god awful."

James pulled my head up from the floor by my hair and slammed it back against the ground. My hands reached up past my head as I searched for what I needed. I blocked out the pain that followed the head slam. I even tried to regain my thoughts as my brain bounced and vibrated against my skull.

"Don't. Test. Me, Bella."

"Why? You gonna hurt me? Wasn't that the plan anyway?"

Apparently grief made me reckless.

Pain made contact with my ribs and lanced through my body. My breath stuttered and faltered as I fought to take a breath. He'd hit me in the side.

"I don't like doing that but you're pushing me."

I closed my eyes and tried to bite back my retort, but it was useless.

"No," I choked out around the pain. "Wrong again. You're psychotic."

James growled, but moved so he was standing over me. His hands found purchase in my hair again and pulled me up so my body arched backward.

"Now, it's gonna hurt."

I laughed; the sound was hysterical and nonsensical as it filled the house. Hurt? He thought physically beating me would hurt? My eyes moved to Edward, that was what had hurt. That's what had broken me and my calm reserve in the face of this psycho.

Edward was . . .

Alive.

His eyes were open, full of anger as they trained on James. I could see him struggling to push himself up from the ground and I shook my head. If he moved, if he even tried, he could make his injuries so much worse. His consciousness was like an iron rod of strength through my body. All of James' attention was on me, but if Edward had his own way . . .

I couldn't let him do that.

"James," Edward croaked, as I feigned weakness and went limp against the grip. My spine screamed in protest.

"Just die already, Masen."

James dropped my limp body to the ground, but I didn't waste a second waiting to see what he would do next. I scrambled forward as quickly as I could and found the cool metal once again. The grip fell neatly into my palm and my index finger squeezed the trigger lightly so I would have a decent grip.

"Don't do it, James," I stuttered, my eyes watching Edward before flicking back to my assailant. "I won't hesitate again."

James laughed. "You know kids shouldn't play with guns. People get hurt."

He took a step toward me and I squeezed, closing my eyes at the last second.

The kickback sent me on my ass. The floor met me midway, making my spine jolt until I felt the pain reverberate in my neck. I whimpered but forced my eyes to find James in the dim light.

He was groaning in pain, writhing on the floor while his hand gripped his shoulder.

Keeping the gun, I scrambled to Edward and knelt beside him, my free hand flailing helplessly over his body. The hand with the gun was trained on James.

"Edward, don't try and move. The knife is still in the wound."

He nodded weakly, his hand rising to my free one, the broken one. I couldn't even feel the pain through the surge of adrenaline.

"I came to tell you the truth," he croaked hoarsely. "I came . . . Bella, I . . ."

His face contorted with pain, his eyes as wide as saucers as he laid his head back down on the ground below him. I could see him struggling to breathe. I could feel the tangible pain that emanated from him and I felt hopeless.

"What can I do to help?" I pleaded. My eyes intermittently flicking to James who was still writhing and groaning on the other side of the room.

"Kiss me," Edward coughed.

I looked down at him and saw the weak smile on his face. I leaned forward a little more, my eyes flicking to James again before pressing my lips to Edward's. I fought the urge to close my eyes and fall into the moment with him. I knew it was still too dangerous with James still mobile.

"Thank you," he whispered, squeezing my hand gently. The adrenaline was wearing off slowly though and I couldn't stop the wince.

"Where's your phone? We need an ambulance and mine is dead."

"Pocket."

The door of the house flew open as I made a move to search his pocket and almost cried with relief. Sue and Leah stood in the doorway. Sue had her shotgun in the crease of her shoulder and Leah had a baseball bat that I knew belonged to Seth.

"Oh shit, Bella," Leah cried, sprinting into the room so quickly Sue never had a chance to stop her. She fell to her knees on the other side of Edward, her hands hovering between Edward and I as hopelessly as I had done myself. I could only imagine the mess I was in.

"I'd stay down if I were you," Sue said, her voice colder than I'd ever heard it. It didn't take a genius to know she was talking to James. "Bella?"

"Yes ma'am?" I choked, the overwhelming relief making me feel lightheaded.

"You okay?"

"I'll be fine."

"Leah, go tell your brother to call nine-one-one, bring back towels and a blanket. See if you can figure out what happened to the power. If not, grab some of the camping lanterns from the closet."

Leah nodded obediently and gave me one last look before pushing to her feet. I'd never seen my best friend looking so haunted. Gone was the ghost of a smile or the eye roll she was so well known for. In its place was a tired look, laced with fear and dread.

She took off sprinting, her long legs hitting the porch quickly before leaping into the darkness.

"How's your friend doing, bebè?"

"Not good," I answered, my voice strangled and weak.

"Keep him talking, it's the only thing you can do for him. You did good not pulling out that knife."

I nodded and looked down at the green that was watching every move I made. My heart was like a paper house. One stiff wind and it would fall apart at the seams.

"Hey you," I sobbed. Looking for the strength I'd had before.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I should have known that wasn't you. I should have . . ."

"Don't," I said, shifting slowly, finally putting the gun down and kneeling over him so I could cradle his head. "I knew it wasn't your fault. I was being stubborn, I was angry, but I never . . . Edward, I love you."

His lips curled softly at my words, his eyes searching mine. "I love you too, Bella. I always will. I was so lost without you . . ."

I stroked his hair as he coughed and cringed. I flailed uselessly before brushing his bottom lip with my thumb.

"You're gonna be okay. You just have to keep talking and stay with me."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

"How did you know where I was?" I asked, trying to think of anything to talk about to keep him lucid.

"I knew you'd need to feel safe after the stunt I pulled. I almost didn't come. I was afraid I would hurt you more if I did. Then when I saw the house was dark and the porch light was out, I knew something wasn't right," he said, stopping to take a shaky breath, his voice was wavering but I was hesitant to stop him because I was afraid that if he stopped he would try to sleep. I backed up and saw James' car in the trees and I knew . . . I knew you were in danger. I got out and crept up to the window and heard a crash. I had to fight to not roll in here when I saw you go down. I knew I had to get you away from him. I'm sorry I failed."

"You didn't fail," I whispered, pressing my lips to his, fighting the tears building on the lids of my eyes. "You gave me a reason to fight him. All I could think about was the last thing I said to you. I'm sorry, Edward, I knew better. I knew better than to believe you would do anything to hurt me."

"I love you," he said again, struggling to lift his hand so he could stroke my hair.

"I love you, please don't leave me."

He smiled weakly, his hand dropping to his chest. "I won't."

"Bella?" Sue said gently, pulling my attention away. I knew she was looking for an update while she stood guard over James, her gun pointed at his chest.

I nodded, not knowing how else to answer her. I took a deep breath and tried to wipe the concern from my face before looking down at Edward. His eye lashes were dusting the tops of his cheeks and his breathing was shallow again.

"Edward? Edward!"

Panic struck me, wiping everything from my mind as I bent over him. My lips brushed his forehead as I fought the need to rock on my knees. I had to get him to open his eyes. I needed to hear his voice, even if it was that pained tone, but there was nothing but shallow breathing.

"Don't do this to me, Edward. Wake up. Please, wake up. Open your eyes."

I sniffled and cried, the rocking coming with the overwhelming pain that drowned out the physical pain. Everything in me was training on the boy cradled on my lap. The hand on his chest twitched and slid to the floor with a gentle thud.

"NO!" I screamed, unable to stop the pain from consuming me. "No, no, no, no, no. Edward!"

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**A/N: Umm . . . I have a feeling I should run . . . Away . . . Fast! All I can say is that the next chapter is the epilogue and I hope you have enough faith in me to stick around and read it!  
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**Thanks as always to my wonderful Beta, Annabanana, who managed to get this to me in such short notice I honestly have no idea how she did it!**

**Love to my girls, Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic for holding my hands and hiding me. Thankfully, they love me even when I torture poor Bella lol.**

**Thanks to each and every one of you who review! You're all amazing and I understand your frustration and I know that a lot of you are probably reeling from this. I also understand that you're upset. I love you all loads and I hope I will see you when I post the epilogue on Thursday!  
**

**Much love and huge hugs ~Weezy~**


	45. Epilogue

**_All things Twilight belong to the awesome Stephenie Meyer, some subtle plot points in the beginning were inspired by V.C. Andrews the song and lyrics belong to the respective band and their record label and the rest is from my strange mind. Proceed with Caution!  
_**

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**Epilogue**

_ Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small, I'm needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me  
**Breathe Me by Sia**_

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**_

_**. . . One Year Later . . .**_

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**_  
"Lazy," Izzy laughed, sliding past me with another huge box in her arms.

"Hey, I'm taking a break, our grueling task master gave me permission," I replied with a grin as I leaned against the sink with a glass of water. I also held up two almost identical envelopes and threw them on the counter in front of me. She nodded without a word, knowing that we would be performing our normal ceremonial burning.

The letters were from Renée, she'd tried to blackmail the wrong person and was currently serving ten years in a jail in New York for embezzlement. Neither Izzy nor I were certain of all the details, but we'd received letters from her every month since, after opening the first we'd burned them, her pleads for us to respond went unanswered. Now, in a ceremony we often did together, we sat out by the pool and burned them in the fire pit.

"I'm not a grueling task master," A voice said from behind another box, pulling our attention back to the task at hand. "That would be your dad. I'm all for quitting early and going to dinner."

I laughed and headed to the box hovering in the air. "You're the only one he'll listen to, so if that's what you want to do – what was it you told me once – You have to verbalize it."

I took the box from her grasp and turned so I could wink at her.

"What was I thinking moving into a house with a pair of smart-ass girls?"

"You weren't, you were thinking about our dad," Izzy teased, bumping hips with her.

It was amazing how much Izzy had changed in a year. After telling Dad a couple of home truths, Esme had convinced dad to have Izzy come to her at least once a week for counseling, and she also suggested the non optional route. Mandatory counseling had sent Izzy into a rage, not that I'd noticed. I was too caught up in my own nightmares to care about Izzy. I could barely bring myself to look at her, most of the time I found myself ignoring her in fear of causing bodily harm.

Well, right up until dad suggested I get counseling for myself and a joint session with Izzy in the evenings at Esme's office. I'd refused, but apparently the compulsory went for me too. Esme had obviously got through to him in their "talk".

The first few shared sessions weren't pretty.

Where Izzy had been concerned I said what I felt. I spat the accusations at her and never let her speak to me. I had so much anger toward her for everything she'd done, everything she'd cost me. She never fired back at me though, she sat quietly listening to me rave on about how I could never trust her, that I hated her, that as far as I was concerned I didn't have a sister, let alone a spiteful, vindictive twin. She said nothing and often nodded in agreement. The fire in her seemed to have died, and it was then that I realized she blamed herself for what had happened.

I thought I'd felt the same way, I thought I blamed her too, but it turned out I felt sorry for her. I pitied her. I still hadn't trusted her though. I hadn't thought I ever would again. There were too many memories to conquer.

With each new session, I found myself forgiving her more, but I was still waiting for the ball to drop, for the same old Izzy to pop out and laugh at my vulnerability. It never happened though, and it was Leah who finally tipped the scale and made me see it was never going to come.

Oddly, that was about the time Esme and dad admitted they'd been seeing one another.

It was one of the many weekends Leah had been spending with me that I finally realized she was right. I'd been on a rant about how I wasn't sure I could trust my feelings anymore, and that I knew I needed to be vigilant when she finally interrupted me.

"Bella, she's changed. I hate to say that to you because I know that with everything that happened you feel like you need to be wary. Just think about it though. Esme and her have shared this bond, someone was finally able to get through that wall and see the real Izzy. Someone who didn't break her trust, someone who still hasn't let her down. Now she knows Esme is dating your dad, she has hope. Rosalie was telling me she's even been hanging out with Angela."

That stung. Angela had been avoiding me, still was. If she saw me in a corridor she turned and walked the other way. She blamed herself for her brothers actions apparently. I hated that she thought she couldn't talk to me, but I also understood. I didn't push much, and my attempts at a conversation were shut down as she paled, apologized and run and so I would wait to try again, I was patient, but the time to talk had never come.

Leah's words had made so much sense to me though. On some level I was sure someone would call it unethical for dad and Esme to be together, but there was a sense of family when she came to dinner. Since the incident, dad had been spending more time at home, the old stuffy living room that had looked like a museum had been Izzy's first room for restoration. Everything Tanya had put in that room was removed, and it was shifted into a family orientated space.

When Emmett left for LSU, it was just the four of us, and I could understand why Izzy trusted Esme. Why she was so quick to accept her.

Esme never just spent time at the house when dad was home. Every night she'd come and make dinner for Izzy and I while somehow managing to incorporate both our interests into the discussion. Esme was everything I wished Renèe had been, everything that Sue was. I wanted to be cautious and suspicious of her, but there was no malicious intent. She wasn't spending time with us to get closer to dad, and she constantly turned down dad's offers to buy her new car and countless other gifts he tried to give her; so it was obvious it wasn't the money either.

Before he'd asked her to move in with us, he'd sat Izzy and I down to ask how we felt about it. That was the last time I ever doubted Izzy. She asked that the two of us be allowed to talk about it together, and we had. We'd talked for hours. The conversation about Esme had been an easy decision, but we shifted subjects and talked about everything and cleared the air.

She'd been honest with me about what happened with Edward the night I found them together. She'd told me that she'd taken some of my things that had been stored in her old room and doused herself in my perfume. She had a plan and she'd executed it perfectly, not giving Edward a chance to doubt that she was me, that her hysterical behavior had shifted him into panic mode. He'd told her to lay down and try and rest so she could tell him what was wrong. He'd fallen asleep pretty quickly and Izzy waited.

She was filled with remorse for her actions, and I'd been upset with her, it was hard to hear, I shouted and ranted, but quickly cooled down when she finished her confession. Nothing had happened, and knowing that she hadn't tried anything else because she knew Edward would have discovered the truth seemed to comfort me in a way I hadn't expected. He would have known, I saw the truth in that.

We'd be close since.

The way twins should be.

Even when Kate and Charlie had their baby, she'd been the one to travel with me to see them. They'd had a happy healthy baby boy, and Charlie was positively bouncing as he showed him off. Sebastian was adorable and even though both Izzy and I had been reluctant to leave, we did, with promises from both Charlie and Kate we'd get weekly emails. They hadn't disappointed yet.

Sebastian wasn't the only new addition to the world either. Much to the immense pleasure of my twin, her former best friend had just had Mike Newton's daughter. Jessica's dad was a Catholic, and when she'd discovered she was pregnant he'd talked her into keeping the baby. She and Mike were still dating, but Izzy had found out he was seeing a girl in another school behind her back.

She'd removed herself from that world, but on more than one occasion had lamented on how it could have easily been her in that situation. She regretted so much, but tried not to look backward. It was one of Esme's teachings. You couldn't go back and change the past, but you could change the future. Izzy took a lot of stock in the statement and mostly tried to do the right thing.

"Why are we standing around doing nothing?" Dad asked, distracting me. He was carrying a suitcase and some smaller boxes under his arms. "I thought we were doing this as a team."

"Overkill, dad," Izzy teased as Esme pulled boxes from under his arm. "It's called talking, and it's a good form of communication."

"Oh the wit in this room."

"I vote, we just lock the truck and go to dinner," Esme said, winking at me. "I'm hungry."

"There's only a dozen or so boxes left," dad complained. Shifting the ones he had in his arms. "If we get this done now. We can start unpacking you tomorrow."

"Well if there's only a few boxes left we can still be completely finished by tomorrow," Esme grinned.

Dad rolled his eyes but I knew that he wouldn't deny her. He worshiped the ground she walked on. After the telling off she'd given him in the office he had nothing but respect for her. He hadn't acted on his feelings right away, he'd stayed away and let her work with Izzy and I to try and get us to some level of normality.

His interest in how were were handling our situations was what had finally brought them together. They went to dinner twice a week to talk about how we were doing and how we were coping with our single and combined issues. Then the dinners changed to talking about the past, about their lives, and then they didn't want to stop.

Thinking about my own counseling sessions made me cold. Reliving that night was as bad as going through it the first time. Thinking about that only intensified my need for solace, I hadn't forgotten what tomorrow was and even though the moving had been a distraction, it was still a burning thought in the back of my mind. Dinner really just wasn't on the agenda for me.

"No dinner for me thanks guys, I need a bath and sleep."

"We haven't forgotten," Esme said gently, her hand resting on my arm that was still weighted down with the box. Her eyes told me so many things, understanding, acknowledgment, and support. She seemed to know I needed this time, and exactly what I was fighting the urge to do.

I nodded and put the box on the table. I didn't want to talk about it.

I pushed my hands into my jeans pockets to stop them from shaking and backed away from the group, offering them a thanks but no thanks smile. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Bella? You want some company?" Izzy asked, putting her box next to mine, her eyes full of the sadness they always got when it was brought up.

"No you guys go. I just want to have a bath and maybe watch some movies."

Esme gave me a knowing look and nodded. Diffusing the situation by making the others mind up for them. "Well Lets go get ready guys."

I thanked her silently and backed out the door and made my way to the pool house. Now, it was time to deflect the calls from everyone else. I knew it was just as fresh in their minds and even though their intentions were good, they weren't the ones I needed right now.

Rosalie and I had become closer over the last year. With Emmett at LSU it was hard on her being alone, Alice still had Jasper, so it wasn't like she could feel the same camaraderie Rose and I shared.

Rosalie had already been excepted to LSU so for her it was simply a countdown. I was still waiting for my acceptance letter to Tulane or LSU after applying to both.

Alice and Jasper were both heading to New York in the fall. It hadn't been planned that way, but by some kind of divine intervention it worked out that way. Both of them were happy and I couldn't have been happier for them. They made a cute couple and most of the time they were inseparable, to which I made fun of Jasper constantly.

Of course he would slap my ass and tell me nothing was set in stone, and Alice would die laughing at the look of surprise on my face. I knew he wasn't serious though, he loved Alice, but I guess some people never changed.

Except maybe Seth.

He was dating a girl named Anna from school. She was sweet and completely dedicated to him and it was a nice change to see someone all about him rather than him being the one doing the chasing. Leah, of course, gave the girl a hard time, but surprisingly she seemed to like her.

Leah and Jacob were going as strong as ever. Neither of them had ever really talked about where their relationship was going, but Jacob confided in me that he was saving up for an engagement ring so he could propose to her on her twenty-first birthday. It was the only secret I had ever successful kept from Leah, mainly because she didn't know there was a secret to be kept.

I think with the exception of Seth, Peter had about the most startling turn around. I'd only seen him once since the incident at school, but that had been on my terms after I'd received a letter from him, apologizing for his behavior and the way he'd scared me. I'd visited him in rehab, he was apologetic and tried explaining to me what had happened, but I stopped him and offered forgiveness.

I still didn't feel comfortable around him, but I could see he was making an effort. When I offered him a hug goodbye I'd noticed he had a scar running along his hairline where James had attacked him. I'd found out from Emmett that Peter had been in a bar, when he was attacked by another customer, the vague description much the same as Seth's attacker. Yet I knew who it was.

James.

I shuddered back into the present as the name echoed inside my head. James had been in jail since the attack and would be until he was too old to haunt me anymore. It was the only reason I felt safe, but it didn't stop the icy shudder down my spine.

The moment I walked into the pool house I checked my phone. I knew they only meant well, but talking about the whole thing just felt too much like reliving it. It would be so much easier if I had Edward with me. I could talk to him about anything, but he was gone. I missed him every day, the emptiness like a hole in my chest whenever I thought about him.

I went to the bathroom and filled up the tub, the steam seeming like a purifying haze rather than simple heated water. My mind was swirling with memories, and I needed to pick one before it settled on the one thing I was trying to avoid.

I slid into the tub and let the hot water rush against my body in a cleansing wave. The steam swirled around me as I laid my head on the edge of the tub and let my arms sprawl along the edges.

Edward. He was the only thing on my mind now. He was never far from my thoughts anyway, but with it being a year exactly tomorrow he had the starring role in the forefront. It was one particular memory that stood out though. It too had hot water and steam. My body submerged.

I let my eyes close as my mental imagery filled in the blanks. I was so tired, I felt myself drifting.

I wasn't sure if I was awake or asleep, but my sense of smell reached for the scent that lingered in the air, my skin tingled as though waiting for something electric to happen. It wasn't fear that weaved through my body, it was warmth, desire, and such intense longing I had to fight the need to grip my stomach.

I smiled gently as I felt fingers at my wrist and fought the urge to open my eyes.

"You look delectable," Edward crooned, his voice a whisper on his breath as it danced across my damp skin.

The sound of it was so real in this dream state I had to force myself to keep my eyes closed, I just concentrated on the feel of his skin against mine as he explored it. I shuddered as he hit the spot inside my elbow, the feeling was a heated tickle that left me wanting more. I felt him move to the head of the tub, his free hand giving my other arm the same treatment. Fingers turned to palms as they reached my shoulders, his thumbs pushing gently into the flesh at the back of my neck and rubbing circles that relaxed my shoulders.

"How's the water?" he breathed, his lips brushing my neck, making my head tilt to the side.

"Mmmm." It was the only reply I didn't want to forget this moment.

His hands worked over my shoulders and down my sides until his thumbs brushed against my breasts. "Can I get in?"

I nodded, gasping as his thumbs massaged the flesh under them. I whined as his hands disappeared and let my eyes flicker open to watch him undress.

He stood next to the tub, his green eyes hungry as they roamed over my body.

"I missed you," I grinned. My fingers running over the scar on his stomach. He shuddered at my touch and placed his hand over mine.

"I couldn't be away from you tonight. Emmett's picking up the notes for the lecture tomorrow," he said swooping down to kiss me on the lips.

I knew what he meant. I couldn't lie I had thought of driving up to LSU to spend tomorrow with him myself. Coming so close to losing him had made our separation even harder to bear. I hated that he was so far away, it made every memory so much tougher to live through.

I sat forward and let him slide in behind me, his thick muscled thighs on either side of my body. It had been so wearisome to have moments like this with dad so vigilant. Yet, he couldn't stop me from going to see Edward every chance I got. Nothing could stop that.

The memory of sitting in the waiting room bandaged and refusing treatment seared my mind. The doctors and my dad, who'd arrived a short while after the paramedics had brought us in, were insisting I was seen. Mainly to get my head stitched and my wrist reset, but I hadn't been interested. My only concern was Edward and knowing whether he had survived.

Thankfully, after seeing what had been going on he'd had the foresight to call the cops and paramedics before coming in after me, which was probably the one thing that saved his life. He'd passed out only moments before the flashing lights and sirens woke up the whole community. They worked quickly to abate the bleeding and before we knew it, were shoved in the back of the ambulance and heading toward the closest hospital.

Leah and Sue had sat either side of me. Cooing quietly as they tried to get me to take something for the pain, but I knew it was the pain keeping me awake. Pain, adrenaline and concern. I'd almost lost him. If the paramedics hadn't arrived when they did, he wouldn't be here with me now.

His surgery had taken over eight hours, he'd coded once according to dad who the doctors felt comfortable talking to. His parents arrived while he was still in surgery. They were frantic, and their eyes were on me as dad explained what had happened.

I hung on to the last second. The moment the doctor had come out and said he was in recovery and seemed stable I felt the tangles of consciousness fall away. Unfortunately, I had been standing up at the time.

I'd ended up with a broken wrist, three broken ribs, sixteen stitches and a concussion. Not to mention bruises that practically covered every inch of my skin, including around my neck. It had been difficult to look in the mirror for weeks afterward. It had been a physical reminder of something I was trying so hard to block out.

"Stop thinking about it, babe," Edward murmured, his fingers contradicting his words as they ghosted along the scar on my forehead. "We're here, together. That's all that matters."

His hands dropped to the water and around my waist, his hand spread out across my stomach as he pulled me back against him.

"I hate not seeing you every day," he complained.

"I know. but any day now I should get my acceptance letter, if I have one. Rose got hers a couple days ago."

"You'll get in. And if you don't I'll transfer."

"No you won't," I hummed soothingly, running my hands along his arms and linking my fingers with his over my stomach. "You love it there. I'm not worried about it. We'll know when the time comes."

"You're more important."

I smiled and turned my head so I could kiss his neck. I felt so safe with his arms around me like this, the warmth of him surrounding me made me so at ease because he was here. Whatever nightmare or memory battered and kicked through my head, I could feel him with me.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, baby," he responded, kissing the top of my head and squeezing me gently.

My life had changed so much in two years. I'd come to a crossroads, faced with a decision about my own future, and I'd chosen to find my dad. When I stepped on that bus to discover more about my past, I never once thought about the future rolling out in front of me.

I took a chance, and was rewarded with a larger group of family and friends I couldn't imagine being apart from, and a man I wouldn't ever live without. Everything we'd gone through seemed to come together to bring us here, and I knew I would never let go again.

* * *

**A/N: Did I get you? Did you think Eddie was dead? lol . . . I hope that gave you all some closure. I know that I probably missed something there but I hope you will ask if you have anymore questions. This has been a long and happy road for me, I've had a blast with each of these characters and I will never be able to thank you all for the amount of love and thought you've put into your reviews.**

**Of course, I have to thank my awesome Beta, Annabanana. She's amazing and she makes the writing so much prettier and cleaner.**

**Miztrezboo, Bendingmirrors, Hev99 and Newmoonaholic . . . you ladies are amazing to me! You hold my hand and consistently slap me around when I get neurotic and I love you all for it! Thank you for being amazing friends!**

**Sabi's sookie! You're AWESOME, and you write one of my favorites Jaspers!**

**And to all of you who review, thank you, all of you are amazing and your thoughts and passion never cease to amaze me. You back me up and have faith in me and I am going to miss our interactions every week. I'm so sad to say goodbye to the characters, but I will miss you guys so much more. You all make me laugh and smile and your acceptance of this somewhat bizarre situation and of course waiting almost 32 chapters for Bella and Edward to get together has been amazing. I really do love you all!**

**Thank you so much for reading!**

**Much love and huge hugs ~Weezy~**


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